Thursday, November 3, 2011



Lindsay Lohan Has Been Sentenced to 30 Days in Jail . . . But Will She Actually End Up Behind Bars This Time?

LINDSAY LOHAN admitted in court yesterday that she violated her probation by getting booted from her community service at a Los Angeles women's shelter. And, as a result, she was slapped with a 30-DAY jail sentence. --Judge Stephanie Sautner told Lindsay she COULD end up with 300 days behind bars. She's on a strict schedule of community service deadlines and therapy appointments over the next several months. If she sticks to it, her sentence remains 30 days. --If not, she gets the other 270 tacked on. Judge Sautner said, quote, "This is known as putting the keys to jail in the defendant's pocket . . . the first time you violate, you will go to jail." --She added, quote, "From what I can see, you need a structure, and this is a structure." --By the way . . . Lindsay will be doing all of her community service at the morgue now. --Judge Sautner decided not to send Lindsay back to the shelter that booted her . . . and another shelter for homeless women refused to take her, because they think she sets a bad example for women who are trying to get their lives back together. --Lindsay wasn't taken into custody immediately. Sautner gave her until November 9th to surrender. Why? Because Lindsay's attorney said she needed time to finish her "Playboy" magazine shoot. --She said Lindsay has a contract with "Playboy" worth close to $1 million. --There's no official word why "Playboy" needs Lindsay back. At least one source claims HUGH HEFNER wasn't happy with the pics that were shot last week, and he's hiring another photographer to do them over again. --Here's something else we've heard that's a little disappointing: Despite earlier reports to the contrary, Lindsay is NOT taking everything off. Which probably means she'll go topless and show bare buttocks, and that's it. (--Here's courtroom video.) --The big question now is . . . Will Lindsay actually spend any time in jail? Trying to get a conclusive answer from the Internet is like trying to count a handful of water. The so-called "sources" on the various sites are all over the place. --One thing we know for sure is that Judge Sautner has refused to let Lindsay serve any of her time under house arrest. So her sentence, whatever it is, will be served at the Lynwood Correctional Facility in downtown L.A. (--This will be her FIFTH time checking into the joint.) --Some sources say that Lindsay will only have to serve 20% of her sentence . . . which would be SIX DAYS. But other sources claim they're going to check her in and then back out again immediately. --In both scenarios, the justification for letting her off would be jail overcrowding. And Lindsay would be getting the same treatment as any other nonviolent offender, famous or otherwise. --But then there's this: A few weeks ago, L.A. County Sheriff Lee Baca said that if Lindsay got sent back to jail, quote, "We have room for her." (--Check out the video here.)

Kim Kardashian Was Just Following Her Intuition When She Decided to Bag on Her Marriage:

KIM and KHLOE KARDASHIAN are in Australia pimping their new handbag line. And yesterday, they appeared on a TV morning show, where Kim revealed it was INTUITION that led her to end her marriage to KRIS HUMPHRIES. --She said, quote, "I think when you know so deep in your heart, that you just have to listen to your intuition and follow your heart. There's really no right thing to do. I don't think I'm ready to get into the details of it." --She also reiterated that she's a little disappointed in us for doubting her motives in getting married in the first place. (--Anyway, here's a quick clip from the interview. And here's the whole thing.) (--If you'd like more, you can find videos of Kim on another show . . . and of her mom, KRIS JENNER, on the "Today" show . . . here.) (--And here's one of those lame Taiwanese animated clips "explaining" what happened.)

Random Kaos:

#1.) DR. DREW says KIM KARDASHIAN'S marriage and subsequent rush to divorce is INSULTING to gay people who are fighting for the right to get married. (Full Story)

#2.) Kim is no longer following KRIS HUMPHRIES on Twitter. He's still following her, though. (Full Story)

#3.) "Sources" say Kim knew she was making a mistake before she even walked down the aisle. She wanted to call off the wedding but figured she, quote, "couldn't turn back." (Full Story)

#4.) A bunch of people held a sidewalk vigil to mourn the end of Kim and Kris. (Photos)

#5.) KRIS JENNER teared up while discussing Kim's divorce on "The View". (Full Story)

#6.) E! is denying it had a hand in orchestrating the wedding. (Full Story)

Justin Bieber Is Going to "Ignore the Rumors" . . . Plus, Additional Fallout from the "Is Justin a Baby Daddy?" Scandal:

Now that the "Is JUSTIN BIEBER a BABY DADDY?" scandal has torpedoed the Internet, there's plenty of fallout. Here's a quick rundown of all the new details and updates:

#1.) The court papers filed by 20-year-old Mariah Yeater have hit the Internet. --There are more details about the alleged sexual encounter that weren't in the initial story that "Star" magazine dropped on Tuesday night . . . including some stuff about how Justin promised it wasn't going to be just a one-time fling. (CAREFUL) --Here's more of Mariah's version of the events, from her sworn affidavit: --Quote, "He said he'd give me his phone number after we had sex, and told me he wanted me to be at his future concerts too and he would give me backstage passes. --"[But] he was clearly embarrassed about how the sex did not last very long. He immediately put on his clothes and blew me off when I asked about seeing him again. --"I asked him for his private phone number, but he insisted on taking my phone number. We had no paper or anything to write it down on, and Justin was clearly not interested in getting his cell phone or any paper. --"He said he would just remember the number, which I told him." (--Yeah . . . she HAD to know things were really turning south at this point.) --SHOCKINGLY, Justin never called her. Mariah says that she tried to contact him through his representatives to tell him that she was pregnant, but she says, quote, "no one ever called me back." --Mariah's statement continues: Quote, "On July 6th, 2011, I gave birth to a baby boy. That was exactly 36 weeks and 2 days after the sexual encounter with Justin. --"Based upon the timing . . . [and] that there were no other possible men that I had sex with that could be the father . . . I believe that Justin is the father of my baby." --It concludes: Quote, "I swear under the penalty of perjury under the laws of the United States of America and the State of California that the foregoing is true and correct." (--You can download a .PDF of this document at

#2.) Mariah did NOT list a father on the baby's birth certificate. By the way, she named the boy Tristyn Anthony Markhouse Yeater. (--Well, she sure named the kid as if he were a celebrity's offspring.)

#3.) Justin Bieber has personally responded to this accusation on Twitter. (--His people previously called this girl's statements, quote, "malicious, defamatory, and demonstrably false claims.") --He Tweeted, quote, "All the rumors . . . the gossip . . . I'm gonna focus on the positives . . . the music. So I'm going to ignore the rumors . . . Judge me on the music! Love yall!"

#4.) Justin's reps would not comment when asked if he'd submit to a paternity test.

#5.) This probably goes without saying, but Justin Bieber's fans have already begun sending Mariah death threats. (--This happens any time any woman interacts with Justin in any way.) --Here's an example: Quote, "Roses are red, violets are blue, Mariah Yeater we are gunna kill you." And this was posted on one of the new anti-Mariah Facebook pages: Quote, "UHHHH SHE'S A DISSCREASE!" (???) (--Here are some pictures of Mariah that various sites dug up online . . . along with a shot of her and the baby from the cover of "Star" magazine.) (FoxNews) (Celebuzz)

Hugh Grant's Baby-Mama Has Been Identified:

The identity of HUGH GRANT'S baby-mama has been revealed. Her name is TINGLAN HONG, and she's a Chinese actress. --Hugh went to her home in London yesterday to visit their new daughter. He stayed for about 45 minutes. (--The British tabloids say Hong is 19 years younger than Hugh. He's 51 . . . so that would make her about 32. Here's a picture of Hugh arriving at Hong's house . . . and of Hong before she gave birth.) (Daily Mail)

Did Bruce Willis Reduce Ashton Kutcher to Tears . . . And Make Him Promise Never to Cheat on Demi Again?

The "National Enquirer" claims that BRUCE WILLIS got in ASHTON KUTCHER'S face and delivered a verbal beatdown that reduced Ashton to tears. --A source says, quote, "Ashton kept avoiding Bruce's calls and texts, but finally agreed to meet his wife's ex-husband at a private location. Bruce was livid! --"He reamed Ashton for his cheating . . . and humiliating not just ex-wife Demi, but his three daughters as well. He went at Ashton full force, giving him no time to make excuses for his embarrassing behavior, demanding that he get his act together FAST! --"Ashton finally broke down in tears, weeping uncontrollably as he begged for forgiveness . . . [And he vowed], 'I will NEVER, EVER cheat again!'" (--Meanwhile, "In Touch Weekly" says that Demi wasn't entirely innocent. Sources say she had a fling with 27-year-old actor BEN HOLLINGSWORTH.) (--Apparently, she and Ashton were guiding his career . . . and in 2009 they even got him a part on the CW show "The Beautiful Life" . . . which Ashton was producing.) (--As for the sex, a source says, quote, "[Ben] said she was really hot and she took care of him." You can read more about this here.)
Kelly Osbourne Says Having to Tell Her Parents Her Fiancé Cheated with a Tranny Was "Humiliating":

When you grow up the child of OZZY and SHARON OSBOURNE, there shouldn't be anything you have to tell your parents that would embarrass you. Except maybe this: --KELLY OSBOURNE says, quote, "Having to tell my parents my ex-fiancé Luke had cheated on me with a tranny was so humiliating. --"It's hard enough to get your head around someone cheating on you . . . but when that someone is a chick with a [penis]? I'd always thought the worst way to get cheated on would be with an ugly girl."

The Latest on Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney from "The Vampire Diaries":

We've been hearing that LADY GAGA is nailing actor TAYLOR KINNEY. He plays Mason Lockwood on "The Vampire Diaries" . . . and he was the love interest in Gaga's "You and I" video. --The latest rumor comes from a source who says, quote, "They're hooking up and getting to know each other. Gaga can't be too committed because she works 24/7. But she thinks he's supercute!" (--Check out some pictures of Taylor Kinney here.) (TV Guide)

25 Things You Don't Know About Kal Penn:

With the "Harold & Kumar" Christmas movie hitting theaters tomorrow, "Us Weekly" decided to make KAL PENN the subject of its latest "25 Things You Don't Know About Me". Here are the highlights . . .

--"My favorite drink is water."

--"Once I was in line behind a woman who was telling her friend what a horrible actor Kal Penn is. I tapped her on the shoulder and told her I agreed."

--"I've always wanted to be on 'Sesame Street'."

--"I like NASCAR."

--"I once talked about elections to someone who said his Ls like Rs. It was hard to keep a straight face."

--"I want to know who decided to run those commercials with a panicked man saying, 'Stop using those old, dirty catheters now!'"

--"I have one of those leg lamps from 'A Christmas Story'."

(--Check out the complete list here.)

Bubba Smith Died From an Overdose of Diet Pills and Heart Disease:

NFL legend and "Police Academy" star BUBBA SMITH died from an overdose of DIET PILLS . . . combined with heart disease. --Bubba died back in August at the age of 66. The drug that did him in was phentermine, a supplement used to speed weight loss.

Serena Williams Hid In Her Panic Room from an Intruder . . . Who Turned Out to be a Drug Tester:

TMZ says that SERENA WILLIAMS retreated to her panic room last Wednesday morning after spotting a potential intruder on a security cam. --An assistant called 911 . . . but the whole thing turned out to be a mistake. The "intruder" was actually a DRUG TESTER for some tennis association. He showed up unannounced to collect some urine. --There's no word if he got what he came for.
Check Out Video of WWE Superstar Randy Orton Getting a Cut on His Head Stapled Shut:

You can call pro wrestling "scripted", "choreographed", "fixed" or "predetermined". But wrestlers HATE it when people call it "fake". --That's because these guys put their bodies through the ringer. They do things most people can't do, and they endure pain that most people couldn't handle. --Case in point: Check out this video of WWE superstar RANDY ORTON getting a cut on top of his head STAPLED after a taping of "Friday Night Smackdown" earlier this week. (--WARNING!!! It's kind of graphic.)


"Tower Heist" and the New "Harold & Kumar" Are This Week's New Flicks:

#1.) "Tower Heist" (PG-13) (Trailer)

Alan Alda is a Wall Street billionaire under house arrest for stealing $2 billion from his investors . . . including the pension fund for the staff at his luxury condominium. Ben Stiller convinces the rest of his staff to help him steal back their money, which they're convinced is hidden somewhere in Alda's penthouse. But since they're all amateurs, he recruits Eddie Murphy to plan the heist. The rest of the cast includes Matthew Broderick, Téa Leoni, Gabourey Sidibe, Casey Affleck, Judd Hirsch, and Michael Pena.

#2.) "A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas" (R) (Trailer) (Restricted Trailer)

John Cho is Harold and Kal Penn is Kumar. In the six years since Guantanamo Bay, the boys have grown apart and now lead separate lives with new best friends. Tom Lennon from "Reno 911" is Harold's new friend, and Amir Blumenfeld from MTV's "Pranked" is an annoying neighbor who's the closest thing Kumar has to a friend. But when Kumar inadvertently sets Harold's Christmas tree on fire, the four of them have to find a replacement before Harold's disapproving father-in-law gets home. Look for RZA from the Wu Tang Clan as a tree lot salesman, and "Machete's" Danny Trejo as Harold's father-in-law. And of course, no "Harold & Kumar" movie would be complete without Neil Patrick Harris as that hilarious womanizing version of himself.

Johnny Depp Almost Died While Making "The Rum Diary":

The world almost had to make do without JOHNNY DEPP . . . because he came pretty close to DEATH while filming his latest movie "The Rum Diary" . . . after a plane he and director Bruce Robinson were in broke down in mid-air. --Johnny says, quote, "The plane just shut down. The sound of the engines stopped. There was silence. Bruce and I were looking at each other and I think I said, 'Is this it?' --"It was like this weird extended moment when you're just floating for a second and you could feel this unpleasant descent. --"Nobody said a word except for Bruce and I, sitting next to each other saying, 'Oh [crap]! This is death; I guess this is how it goes down.' Then we burst into hysterical laughter at the idea that this was how we were going to die." --Obviously, the engines kicked back in, and everything was cool. Johnny says, quote, "I guess you could say that was a big bonding experience for Bruce and me. For a moment there, we were going down together."

Jessica Biel Wanted to Be in "The Notebook":

Every actor loses out on a role they really wanted every now and then. For JESSICA BIEL, one of the big ones was "The Notebook". --She says, quote, "That's one that I wanted so badly. I was in the middle of shooting 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre', and I auditioned with RYAN GOSLING in my trailer, covered in blood. --"[Director] Nick Cassavetes put me through the wringer in an interesting, excitingly creative way. But there's a million that get away. We're gluttons for punishment. It's just rejection."

Check Out an Uncensored Trailer for "21 Jump Street":

A new, uncensored trailer for the "21 Jump Street" movie starring JONAH HILL and CHANNING TATUM hit the web yesterday. (--You can check it out here.) (WARNING!!! This thing is loaded with UNBLEEPED PROFANITY.) (--The movie comes out in March. And while Jonah Hill promised a balls-out action flick, there's definitely a good amount of comedy on display in this trailer.)
Ashton Kutcher Joked About Sex in a Hot Tub on "Two and a Half Men" . . . Which Is What He Allegedly Did When He Cheated on Demi Moore:

ASHTON KUTCHER'S character on "Two and a Half Men" . . . Walden Schmidt . . . made a very interesting joke on Monday night's episode. --He was talking about redecorating his home, and he asked, quote, "Can I have a Jacuzzi on the balcony? Because I'm single now, so I'm going to be having sex with a lot of women I haven't met yet." --That's ironic because that's exactly what Ashton did when he cheated on DEMI MOORE . . . according to the tabloids, at least. --Back on October 5th, "Us" magazine reported that Ashton partied with two girls in a hot tub on the balcony of his hotel suite . . . before taking one of them to his bedroom and having sex with her. --This happened on September 24th, which was Ashton and Demi's sixth wedding anniversary. (--Later, another woman who was there "confirmed" the hook-up, amusingly telling, quote, "Ashton and Sara [Leal] definitely boned. They definitely hooked up, there was definitely sex involved.") --It's unclear when the episode was written or shot. (--The episode is up on The Jacuzzi line is at the 10:40 mark.)

Snooki Says The Situation Is Broke . . . and That If It Were Up to Her, "Jersey Shore" Would Show Less Debauchery:

SNOOKI thinks "Jersey Shore" could be more interesting . . . if the producers didn't insist on only including the drunken debauchery. --She tells "GQ" magazine, quote, "I wouldn't show as much drinking and partying. I would show more of us chilling out and having a good time, which they don't show. We don't even drink those nights, but we laugh all night. --"They don't show anything but us drinking and hooking up. I don't know [why] . . . --"Maybe they think that if they don't show us drinking and hooking up then it wouldn't stay successful, but I think that if they showed the sober side of us people would like it even more . . . and it'd even change people's minds about us." --Of course, if MTV did that, "Jersey Shore" would NOT stay successful. Would you watch these morons having a quiet night at home, "chilling" and laughing? --Regardless, Snooki is prepared for the end . . . unlike THE SITUATION, who she says has already blown through all of his money. She explains, quote, "'Jersey Shore' is going to end soon. I'm not going to spend money like Mike. --"He's already broke!" That would be quite an achievement . . . The Situation reportedly made around $5 MILLION last year. And with the sharp increase of their "Jersey Shore" paychecks, he should be in line to make even more this year. (--Continued on next page . . .) --By the way, the fifth season of "Jersey Shore" will premiere on January 5th. (--A Season Five preview is up at Yes . . . it's all about them drinking and preparing to go out. Although due to a subplot involving Pauly D's tanning nightmare, the first shot of alcohol doesn't come until 58 seconds in.)

"X Factor" Will Get a Second Season:

It's official: Fox has announced that "X Factor" will be back next year. -This isn't all that surprising. Even though the ratings were NOWHERE near the 20 million viewers that SIMON COWELL expected, the show still pulls a respectable average of 12 million viewers. --That's good enough for Fox. One suit even called "X Factor" a, quote, "monumental success." We're assuming that Season Two would premiere next fall, but Fox didn't elaborate on that. (--Naturally, Simon is thrilled. Among other things, he'll get to keep his absolutely absurd, two-story, 1,100-square-foot trailer . . . which is probably cooler than your HOUSE. The "Hollywood Reporter" has a few photos.)

Do "Dancing with the Stars" Pros Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Derek Hough "Hate Each Other"?

There may be some BEEF behind the scenes on "Dancing with the Stars". (--And no . . . we're not talking about a return of CHAZ BONO.) --"Us" magazine claims there's some serious bad blood between dancers MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY and DEREK HOUGH. A so-called "insider" says, quote, "They hate each other." --It's unclear why they dislike each other, but Maks briefly dated Derek's sister JULIANNE HOUGH before she moved on to RYAN SEACREST. --And there's talk that Maks was so bitter about it that he "retaliated by planting false rumors that Julianne was cheating on Ryan with Maks." --And when Maks had his little feud with the judges a few weeks ago, the word behind the scenes was that Derek was on THEIR side . . . and that angered Maks, who claimed Derek was KISSING UP.
Thursday TV Reminders:

--"The X Factor" [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. One finalist from each of the four categories is sent home.

--"Bones" [7th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"Grey's Anatomy" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. Alfre Woodard guest stars and Debra Monk returns as George's mother when she seeks medical help after a botched surgery at another hospital.

--"The Office" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on NBC. Dwight attempts to improve office efficiency.

--"Call Me Fitz" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on DirecTV.

--"Burn Notice" [5th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on USA.

--"Cellblock 6: Female Lock Up" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.

--"Gabriel Iglesias Presents Stand-Up Revolution" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. Zhivago Blea, Cleto Rodriguez and Edwin San Juan perform.

--"Project Accessory" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Lifetime. Nadja Swarovski guest judges when the designers are asked to create a pair of shoes inspired by Swarovski crystals.

Chris Martin Says Jay-Z Is "Cool as [Eff]" . . . and They Play Football Together:

COLDPLAY singer CHRIS MARTIN is a big admirer of JAY-Z . . . but not from afar. They're actually pretty close buddies. --Their wives, GWYNETH PALTROW and BEYONCÉ, are also friends . . . but even Chris seems surprised that he and Jay-Z get along so well. --He says, quote, "I think more people wonder why he's friends with me. Of course, I want to be friends with Jay-Z . . . he's cool as [eff]. In Britain, they're like, 'How are you friends with Jay-Z?' It's almost like they're jealous. --"It's the same with my wife: 'How the [eff] did you manage to do that?' And my answer is: 'I have no idea.'" --Chris adds, quote, "I love [Jay-Z's] music, and he's a super cool guy, and he's genuine. I respect his decisions, and we have the same feelings about trying to be true in your art. --"It just happens that one of us is a nerd and the other is the coolest multi-entrepreneur on the planet." --So what do Chris and Jay-Z do together? Chris says, quote, "We do play touch football. He's very good at American football . . . not only does he have all these other talents, but he can throw a perfect spiral. --"And then, on the other end, it smacks me in the head. In England, no one teaches you how to throw a spiral, so mine looks like an egg slowly limping through the air."

Coldplay Now Has Their Third #1 Album:

COLDPLAY has scored their third #1 album, selling 447,000 copies of "Mylo Xyloto". Five new albums debuted in the "Billboard" Top 10 this week, but Coldplay sold more copies than the other four COMBINED. --KELLY CLARKSON took the runner-up spot, moving 163,000 copies of her new one, "Stronger". MICHAEL BUBLE was right behind with 141,000 copies of his holiday album, "Christmas". --And further down the list, TOBY KEITH'S new disc "Clancy's Tavern" sold 69,000 copies in 5th place . . . and TOM WAITS scored his first Top 10 album ever, moving 63,000 copies of "Bad As Me".

Justin Bieber's Christmas Album Is on Pace to Debut at #1 on Next Week's Charts:

JUSTIN BIEBER'S Christmas album, "Under the Mistletoe", is on pace to sell 200,000 to 220,000 copies in its first week, which would probably make it a #1 album. --The album came out this Tuesday . . . and the first week sales continue through Sunday. So "Billboard" won't release the final tallies until next Wednesday. --Justin's last release . . . the "Never Say Never: The Remixes" EP . . . debuted at #1 in March after selling 165,000 copies.

There's a Six-Minute Documentary on Rebecca Black's "Friday" . . . Sort Of:

It's sad that no one talks about REBECCA BLACK or her ingenious hit "Friday" anymore . . . but we're going to put an end to that right now! (--Do you feel something strange and palpable right now? You should! It's excitement.) --A Welsh writer named Jon Ronson made a six-minute documentary on the phenomenon . . . but unfortunately, it doesn't feature any new footage of Rebecca. --Instead, it includes brief interviews with a friend of Rebecca's who was in the "Friday" video, and Patrice Wilson, the rapper from the video, who also created the song. (--It's actually kind of funny. You can find it on YouTube.)


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

MICHELLE WILLIAMS says most straight guys HATE her short hair . . . but HEATH LEDGER loved it. (Full Story)

Actress JENNIFER LAWRENCE says her upcoming movie franchise, "The Hunger Games", is NOT "Twilight". (Full Story)

Check out a cool "trailer" of sorts, featuring clips from all of TIM BURTON'S movies. (Video) (--CAREFUL: There's an uncensored F-bomb in the "Ed Wood" part of the clip at the :59 second mark.) (--After the video finishes, you'll see links to similar videos featuring the movies of RIDLEY SCOTT and GUY RITCHIE.)

WILL FERRELL'S Spanish-language comedy "Casa de Mi Padre" hits theaters in March. (Full Story)

ALKALINE TRIO has postponed a European tour because singer MATT SKIBA suffered a gnarly injury while riding his motorcycle last week. Matt was stopped at a light, when a semi truck RAN OVER his right foot. Obviously, that's a mess . . . so he's going to take some time off to recover. (Full Story)

Sad news: Last month, "Survivor" star ETHAN ZOHN has learned that his cancer is back. He'd been in remission for 20 months. He says, quote, "It's localized in my lung area . . . but it's good that it's not all over my body." (Full Story)

CBS has won the latest legal battle over JANET JACKSON'S infamous "wardrobe malfunction" at the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show. Yes, it's been seven-and-a-half years . . . and this thing is STILL being litigated. Absurd. (Full Story)

KATE GOSSELIN is going to be blogging about COUPONS!!! (--That seems dangerously close to living a "mediocre" life to me.) She's writing for the site Her first post won't be up until November 22nd . . . but it's never too early to get pumped. (Full Story)

Here's Why Fingernails on a Chalkboard and a Fork Scraping a Plate Make Your Hair Stand Up:

Odds are, you hate at least one, or maybe all four of these sounds: Nails on a chalkboard . . . chalk on a chalkboard . . . a fork scraping against a plate . . . and Styrofoam squeaking. --A new study in Germany tried to figure out WHY we hate those sounds . . . and why they make our arm hair stand up. And the researchers have an answer. --Those sounds are all in the range of 2,000 to 4,000 Hertz. Our ear canals are designed to amplify sounds in that range. So when we hear them, they're LOUDER on our ears than we realize . . . and that makes our brains think we're in DANGER. --That makes our arm hair stand up, because we're on high alert, which changes our blood pressure and the electrical conductivity of our skin. It also makes us hate those sounds, because we perceive them as dangerous. (Toronto Star)

"Angry Birds" is the Most Popular Video Game of All Time:

For the billions of dollars that's being spent making video games as sophisticated, gorgeous, realistic, and mind-blowing as possible . . . the most popular video game of all time now involves flinging two-dimensional birds into green, body-less pigs. --Yesterday, the video game company Rovio, which makes "Angry Birds", announced that the game has now been purchased 500 million times. Which makes it the best-selling video game OF ALL TIME. --Bigger than "Super Mario Bros.", bigger than "Tetris", bigger than "Grand Theft Auto" . . . even bigger than "Pong". --And "Angry Birds" has only been around for two years.--It's much cheaper than other games . . . it costs a few bucks, while games for the Xbox or Wii generally cost $40 to $60 . . . but sales are sales. And thanks to an explosion in people playing games on their phones, "Angry Birds" is number one. --For comparison, "Tetris" appears to be the second-most popular game ever, with over 175 million sales. The entire "Super Mario" franchise . . . which includes 16 games . . . has sold approximately 262 million. (Reuters) (--You can see all of the best-selling video games for consoles here.)

The Cost of Owning a Dog is Up 47% in a Decade, and Owning a Cat is Up 73%:

I would say these numbers show that owning a dog or cat isn't really worth it anymore. But the way we love our pets, it would probably take a few million dollars before we'd even THINK about giving them away. --According to the American Pet Products Association, the cost of owning a dog or a cat has SHOT UP in the past decade. --Last year, the average household spent $655 on routine doctor and surgical visits for their dog . . . that's up 47% in a decade. For cats, health care costs are up 73% in the past decade. --For what it's worth, neither of those jumps are as big as the jump in HUMAN health care costs in the past decade. Those are up 76.7%. --There are about 165 million pet dogs and cats in the U.S. In a survey five years ago, people were asked how much they'd spend to save their pet's life . . . and 70% picked "any amount." (Wall Street Journal)

Fewer People are Having Affairs . . . But More are Getting Caught:

There's an online dating site for rich people called, and they just did a survey on infidelity. --They found that fewer people are cheating on their significant others . . . but more people are getting caught. --Basically, fewer Sugardaddie members admit to being unfaithful to their partner, but there's been a significant rise in the number of members who admit to getting caught cheating. --Nearly one in five people have been caught cheating. Men were twice as likely as women to get caught. --The most common way that a cheater gets found out is through incriminating information on their cell phone. Three out of five people said that their phone provided their partner with evidence. --The survey didn't specify what the most common evidence someone got from the phone was, but sexting photos and incriminating texts were mentioned. Some people even said their phone's GPS locator gave them up. --One out of five people were tripped up by information their partner found on their computer. One in 10 got caught through suspicious purchases on their credit card. And one in 12 people left physical evidence that their partner uncovered. (PRWeb)

Five Ways to Get the Upper Hand in Dating . . . with Passive-Aggressive Texting:

Texting is an important part of dating these days, since we're obsessed with our phones and texting is instant. According to a psychologist from MIT named Sherry Turkle, quote, "It's perfect for manipulation. We can create anxiety because it's so intimate." --As long as you're willing to play passive-aggressive games, here are five ways texting can give you the upper hand when you're dating.

#1.) Make them wait: Texting is instant, so if your response isn't immediate, it means something. The longer you wait, the longer you're delaying the instant gratification someone else wants. And if you respond too fast, you look needy.

#2.) Act clueless: This one's risky, but you can make someone jealous by 'accidentally' sending them a flirtatious text that's clearly intended for someone else. --You can also respond to one of their messages with, "Who is this?" Or just say you didn't get a text that you actually received.

#3.) Have a friend text you: Have a friend text you over and over when you're out on a date. Even if you don't actually check the messages, your phone vibrating will make it look like you have plenty of options.

#4.) Send a fake drunk text: Some girls send a fake drunk text to see if a guy will take advantage of the moment. If the guy suddenly wants naked photos or a booty call, he fails. If he says something like, "I like you too. Let's talk tomorrow," he's a keeper.

#5.) Send a blank text: If you want to break the ice but make the other person reach out first, a blank text might do the trick. They'll probably assume there was a mistake, and text back to find out what you meant to say. But you also run the risk of looking like an idiot. (Wall Street Journal)


Police Find a Gun Hidden in a 66-Year-Old Man's Artificial Leg:

I'm sure this guy NEVER thought he'd be caught with a concealed weapon. Because hiding places really don't get better than this. --On Sunday, a 66-year-old man . . . whose name wasn't released . . . was at St. Vincent's Hospital in Sydney, Australia. His doctor saw a GUN in his room called the cops. --When they got there, they didn't see any gun . . . but decided to search. And they eventually DID find where the 66-year-old hid it. It was stashed inside his ARTIFICIAL LEG. And it was loaded. --He was arrested and charged with illegally possessing a gun and ammunition. (Sydney Morning Herald)

A Woman Pulls on Another Woman's Super-Short Skirt to Try to Hide Her Exposed Butt Cheeks . . . and a Fight Breaks Out:

On Saturday, around 2:00 A.M., a 23-year-old woman was waiting to get her car out of a parking garage in Hoboken, New Jersey. --A 30-year-old woman was in line in front of her . . . and her SUPER-SHORT SKIRT was hiked up so high that her butt cheeks were hanging out. The 23-year-old woman decided to help her out . . . reached over, and PULLED her skirt down a little bit. --The 30-year-old freaked out. They argued . . . and a BRAWL broke out. In the fight, the 30-year-old's left ring finger was BITTEN and she was hospitalized. But . . . no one pursued a criminal complaint, so no charges have been filed. (Jersey Journal)


More Than One in Seven Americans Now Use Food Stamps:

It feels like every statistic these days points to the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer . . . but this still SUCKS. --According to the Department of Agriculture, almost 15% of the U.S. population now relies on food stamps. That's more than one in seven Americans, or 45.8 million people total. --And . . . things are getting WORSE, not better. Food stamp use is up 8.1% this year, and looks like it's going to keep growing. --Mississippi has the most people . . . 21%. That's one in five people in Mississippi relying on food stamps. --That one-in-five number is also the case in New Mexico, Tennessee, Oregon, and Louisiana. --Wyoming has the fewest people using food stamps, at 6%. New Hampshire, North Dakota, Colorado, and New Jersey are all under 9%. Nebraska and Minnesota are just under 10%. Every other state is in double digits. (Wall Street Journal) (--You can see the rate in every state here.)

The U.S. Ranks 10th in the New Global Prosperity Index, Based on Wealth and Quality of Life:

Yesterday, the annual Global Prosperity Index was released. It ranks 110 countries in the world on wealth and quality of life. And there's good news and bad news for us. --The good news? In spite of how poorly things have gone for the past few years, we're still top 10. The bad news? By "top 10" I mean "we're 10th." --Norway came in first, followed by Denmark, Australia, New Zealand, Sweden, Canada, Finland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, then the U.S. --The Central African Republic came in last. The rest of the bottom 10 are mostly countries in Africa . . . Zimbabwe, Ethiopia, Pakistan, Yemen, Sudan, Nigeria, Mozambique, Kenya, and Zambia. --For the U.S., our average life satisfaction ranked an eight out of 10. We scored very high on health and entrepreneurship and opportunity, but struggled on economy and on safety and security. --On the economic factors they use, we actually scored below China for the first time. We did considerably better than them on every other comparison, though. (Legatum Institute) (--You can see all of the rankings and get more insight into other countries here.)

The U.S. Finished Tenth in the List of Places Where Companies are Least Likely to Use Bribery:

The Occupy protesters might not want to hear this, but the reason American companies are slipping worldwide might be because they're not dishonest ENOUGH. --An organization called Transparency International just released their Bribe Payers Index, and it ranked the world's 28 leading economies on how likely their companies were to engage in BRIBERY. --The Netherlands and Switzerland tied for first with the most-honest companies. Belgium was third . . . Germany and Japan tied for fourth . . . Australia and Canada tied for sixth . . . and Singapore and the UK tied for eighth. --And American companies? They're in 10th place on the list of companies least-likely to take a bribe. --Companies from Russia are the most likely to use bribes to land foreign contracts. They finished the lowest of any country . . . although their score on the index was up slightly from the score they got in 2008. --China's companies were the next most crooked, followed by Mexico, Indonesia, and the United Arab Emirates. --Companies were equally likely to bribe other businesses as public officials. Public works and construction were the industries with the most bribery, while agriculture and light manufacturing were the cleanest. (Washington Post)


Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Check out 14 car models that are being discontinued for 2012, including the Buick Lucerne, the Ford Crown Vic, and the Mitsubishi Eclipse. (Full Story)

There's a weird artsy dress that has sensors attached to your body . . . and turns transparent when you're in the mood. (Full Story)

A woman in Ohio says she filmed two ghosts having sex in her house. (Full Story)

46% of doctors admit to using Google and Yahoo to get help diagnosing patients. (Full story)

A woman in England passed her driving test while in labor, then drove herself to the hospital to give birth. (Full Story)

New research says nail salons and barbershops might put you at risk for hepatitis. (Full Story)

In addition to matching wine with food, you should also to match it with the right music . . . because different sounds affect the taste. (Full Story)

#1.) A TV Station in Canada Held a $2 Million Lottery Drawing . . . and Their Sports Anchor Won:

The Global BC TV network in Vancouver held a lottery on Halloween, and the grand prize was a $2.5 million house. And when they did the drawing on live TV, the winner turned out to be . . . the station's SPORTS ANCHOR. --His name is Barry Deley (--pronounced "delay"). And he wasn't in the studio. But as soon as they found out he won, the two news anchors called him, and put the call on the air. He was at the grocery store when he got the news. --The lottery benefited the British Columbia Children's Hospital. And it turns out Deley's daughter was a patient there when she battled leukemia seven years ago. --Deley and his family get to choose from five different prizes. There are four different properties . . . including an estate worth $2.5 million. Or they can take $2 million in cash. --Barry told his colleagues he had a DREAM this would happen. (--Search for "Global BC Sports Anchor Wins Lotto." They show the houses at 1:10, the drawing is at 1:30, and they tell him he won at 2:48. Then they get him on the phone at 3:38.)

#2.) Police in Brazil Stopped a Group of Criminals from Taking Off in a Plane . . . by Ramming It with Their Car:

Apparently the police in Brazil are pretty badass. About 400 miles west of Rio, a group of five men were trying to smuggle $115,000 worth of electronics out of the country. --But the police prevented them from taking off in their plane . . . by RAMMING it with their CAR. And it gets better: One of the cops got cell phone footage of the whole thing from the back seat. (--Search for "Brazilian Police Hit Plane Wing with Vehicle." They ram it at :16.)

#3.) Is This the Greatest Father-Daughter Wedding Dance Ever?

If you haven't seen it yet, there's a wedding dance video online that some people are calling the best father-daughter wedding dance EVER. It's from a wedding in Houston . . . and I've gotta admit, the dad was pretty great. -It's four minutes long, and starts with a slow-dance to the song "My Girl". But then it breaks into a new song and dance every 20 or 30 seconds. And they choreographed the whole thing, so they're next to each other the whole time, doing the same moves. --A few highlights are their Michael Jackson moves, and the dad doing 'the robot.' Then at the end, they do Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" dance. (--Search for "Greatest Father Daughter Dance Medley Ever." And also, check out today's Lifestyles Nonsense: 'Five Things You Should Never Talk About in a Wedding Toast.')

Five Things You Should Never Talk About in a Wedding Toast:

Bad wedding toasts are so common, it's almost like a tradition. And one mistake a lot of people make is getting nervous and DRINKING before their speech . . . which can make things A LOT worse. --But even sober, wedding toasts are pretty easy to screw up. Here's a list of the top five topics you should NEVER talk about in a wedding toast.

#1.) The Bride or Groom's Past Relationships. Don't do it, even if you're saying something nice. Comparing your friend's new spouse to some reject from five years ago might get a laugh. But it also might make things uncomfortable. --Someone's wedding day should be about their NEW relationship, not their old ones.

#2.) Money. That includes saying something nice like, "Wow, this must have cost a FORTUNE!" The thing is, if it LOOKS like it cost a fortune, it did. And at least one person in the room is probably stressed about it. --So leave the money aspect out of the toast, and just talk about how BEAUTIFUL the wedding is.

#3.) Hard Times in the Bride and Groom's Relationship. A lot of people want their toast to be funny, which is fine. But make sure it's a toast, not a ROAST. If they broke up ten times before they finally got engaged, leave that detail out.

#4.) Your Own Failed Marriage. There's no way to bring it up without embarrassing yourself. It just makes you seem kind of pathetic.

#5.) Backhanded Compliments. People do this all the time: They're just joking, but they say something like, "Wow, I can't believe someone like JERRY landed someone like YOU." --JERRY might think it's funny. But HER side of the family might be offended, because you're suggesting she just married a loser. (Huffington Post)


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