Monday, February 7, 2011



The Packers Held Off the Steelers to Win Super Bowl 45:

As you surely must know by now, the Green Bay Packers held off the Pittsburgh Steelers to win Super Bowl 45 yesterday, by a score of 31 to 25. --The Packers jumped out to an early lead . . . and seemed on the brink of putting it away when they went ahead 21-3 late in the second half. (--No team in Super Bowl history has ever come back from a deficit greater than 10 points.) --But the Steelers got a touchdown just before halftime, and they carried the momentum into the second half . . . closing the gap to just four points (21-17) in the third, and later three points (28-25) in the fourth. But they never caught up. --Much like CHRISTINA AGUILERA'S performance of the National Anthem, the Steelers' overall performance will be remembered for its miscues. --On the Steelers' first play after the Packers went up 7-0, quarterback BEN ROETHLISBERGER threw an interception, which the Packers returned for a touchdown. --The Packers scored their third touchdown several plays after picking off Roethlisberger again in the second quarter. --The Steelers turned the ball over AGAIN on the first play of the fourth quarter. Running back RASHARD MENDENHALL fumbled, with Pittsburgh only down 21-17. --Green Bay then marched down the field and scored another touchdown. That put them up 28-17 . . . and that proved to be enough to win the game.--So the Steelers had THREE turnovers, which all led to scores, while the Packers didn't turn the ball over once. --Packers quarterback AARON RODGERS was named the MVP. -This is the Packers fourth Super Bowl win. The last one came in 1997 with BRETT FAVRE as quarterback. They also made the Super Bowl in 1998, but lost that one to the Denver Broncos. --The Steelers have made the Super Bowl three times in the past six years. They won in 2006 and again in 2009 before falling short yesterday.

Christina Aguilera Flubbed a Line in "The Star Spangled Banner":

Other than the halftime show, the biggest Super Bowl moment any singer can ask for is The National Anthem. And CHRISTINA AGUILERA messed it up. --About 40 seconds in, she was about to sing the fourth line of the song, which goes, quote, "O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming." --Instead, she sang, quote, "What so proudly we watched, at the twilight's last streaming." --Which is sort of like a hybrid version of the correct line and the second line of the song, which goes, quote, "What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?" Since it's similar, but sort of confusing, it didn't seem like anyone really noticed. --Afterwards, Christina said she just got caught up in the moment . . . quote, "I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through." --Obviously it can happen to any singer . . . and it does all the time . . . but Christina DID sing it correctly at Game 7 of the NBA finals last June.

400 People With Tickets to the Super Bowl Couldn't Get Seats . . . Because Some of the Temporary Seating at the Stadium Wasn't Ready:

JERRY JONES, the owner of the Cowboys, has been hyping 'Cowboys Stadium' as the home of the Super Bowl all season long. Even while the Cowboys' season was tanking. --His specific goal was to break the NFL's single-game attendance record of 103,985. The stadium has an official capacity of about 80,000, so the Cowboys added 15,000 temporary seats, and set up plazas where people could watch the game on monitors. --And for that, they get THIS Monday morning headline: 400 fans with Super Bowl tickets lost their seats, because of safety concerns with the temporary seating sections . . . sections that were still being built at the last minute, hours before the game. --850 people had to be relocated to similar or better seats, but another 400 COULDN'T be relocated: There were no seats available. --They were eventually placed either in a field-level club behind the Steelers bench, where they watched the game on TV, or in standing-room areas where they could see the game on the field, but not sit. --The NFL is giving all 400 of them a refund that's three times the $600 to $900 face value of their tickets. --But the fact remains . . . 400 people bought flights, hotel rooms, and tickets to a possibly once-in-a-lifetime Super Bowl match-up, hundred of miles away, and couldn't even get their SEAT at the game. The seat they paid for. Nice job Jerry . . . --And since some or most of them probably paid a LOT more than the face value of the ticket . . . $3,000 in some cases . . . then these people lost out BIG time. The official crowd estimate was 103, 215 . . . so the record wasn't broken anyway. (Washington Post)

One of the Four Guys From the Visa "Never Miss a Super Bowl" Club Ads . . . Missed the Super Bowl:

Leading up to the Super Bowl, Visa's been running those ads with the four old guys in the "Never Miss a Super Bowl" club. They've been at EVERY SINGLE SUPER BOWL in person, starting with Super Bowl One in 1967. --Well . . . looks like the Visa ad was one of those famous jinxes, like the "Sports Illustrated" cover jinx . . . because one of the four guys MISSED this Super Bowl. --And, to make it worse, he's a lifelong Green Bay Packers fan. --The guy who missed the game is 79-year-old Robert Cook of Brown Deer, Wisconsin. He had to be hospitalized with an illness . . . his family chose not to disclose what the illness is. --But he was in the hospital and couldn't make it from Wisconsin to Texas for the game. --His two daughters went to see the game instead, and took a photo of their dad on a stick to hold up. The other three men in the club made it to the game. --Robert's wife, Sarah Cook, told reporters, quote, "He's depressed. This is sad for him. He doesn't want to be [in the hospital]." (Dallas Morning News)
(--Here's Visa's ad that spotlights Robert.)

The Super Bowl Commercials Feature a Lot Of Cars, a Decent Amount Of Shock Value, and More Eminem Than We Ever Expected:

We usually complain that the Super Bowl ads are a letdown, but this year had a pretty strong crop . . . a lot that were really strong, and nothing that could be considered an outright flop. -There were a ton of commercials for movies, and we won't get into those too much . . . if you want to see "Thor", "Captain America", "Rio", "Cowboys and Aliens", or the FIFTH effing "Fast and Furious" movie, you probably liked the ads for those movies. --We're also not going to talk about FOX's promos for different shows too much. They pushed some midseason replacements like "The Chicago Code" and "Traffic Light" and that was that. --Here's the good, the bad, and the shock value of the commercials from this year's Super Bowl. If you missed any, you can watch them all online at or


Remember like a decade ago, when dot-coms just dominated the Super Bowl ad space? The automobile industry has clearly taken over the mantle now. It seemed like every car manufacturer had at least one commercial.

--Volkswagen killed it with a commercial featuring a little kid dressed as DARTH VADER trying to use the Force on different objects . . . and thinking he succeeded when his dad secretly started his Volkswagen with the remote. They actually released it online last week.

--Hyundai also had a great ad for their Sonata hybrid. It showed people using old-fashioned technology like bikes with one huge tire, '80s cell phones, and "Pong" as a message of what happens if you don't innovate.

--Chrysler also had a strong, dramatic ad showing the Chrysler's roots in Detroit. It featured EMINEM . . . and probably would've been more powerful if Eminem hadn't been featured in a Lipton Brisk Iced Tea ad earlier in the game. --That's right. Eminem showed up in TWO Super Bowl ads. The Chrysler one was better, but came later. He also appeared in that Lipton ad where an animated version of him listed a bunch of demands for a commercial.

--Bridgestone also owned the night with two great ads. In one, a worker accidentally sends a "reply all" email to his whole company, then uses his Bridgestone tires to get to the data center to rip out the company's Internet cables.

--The other Bridgestone ad was even better. A man almost hits a beaver in the road, but manages to stop in time. They bond . . . then, six months later, the beaver chews down a tree to save the guy from an accident and salutes him.

--Doritos had a few big ads early in the game, including one that blew up online featuring a guy licking Doritos cheese dust off his co-workers' fingers . . . and, at the end, pants.

--Another Doritos commercial featured a guy taunting his dog outside through a glass door . . . and ended with the dog knocking the door over to get to the chips. It wasn't spectacular, but people love dogs. (???)

--We also LOVED an ad produced by the NFL where they took old TV clips, from every show from "Seinfeld" to "The Simpsons" to "Family Matters" to "Happy Days" and digitally added football gear to the people featured. It was GREAT.

--There were a few Coca-Cola ads during the game . . . not all of them were great, but one was pretty memorable. It had an animated fire-breathing dragon that drank some Coke and started breathing fireworks. At least it LOOKED expensive.

--Motorola also had an ambitious ad for their iPad-like tablet, the Xoom. It parodied Apple users and referenced the famous "1984" Apple commercial . . . with people all dressed alike, wearing white, and listening to white earphones.

--Bud Light was somewhere in the middle this year . . . which seems to be their trend lately. Nothing spectacular, nothing awful. Just very . . . middle. --The best of their commercials featured a party with dogs serving drinks, cooking food and, of course, playing poker. It more relied on "dogs are cute" to sell rather than "this is a funny commercial."

--Budweiser had their annual Clydesdale commercial. This time, a menacing cowboy rode to a bar, ordered a Budweiser, and was angry when they didn't have any. But the Clydesdales delivered some just in time . . . --So he led the entire bar in singing ELTON JOHN'S "Tiny Dancer". (--You might recognize the guy who played the cowboy, Peter Stormare. He was also the nihilistic porn star 'Karl Hungus' in "The Big Lebowski".)


--Pepsi Max had three ads during the game, and while none of them was a complete disaster, Pepsi's Super Bowl campaign as a whole was sort of a flop. --The first one featured a woman forcing her husband to diet, then finally agreeing on Pepsi Max. It ended with her knocking out another woman in the head with a can of Pepsi Max for making eye contact with her husband.

--The second ad ended with a preppy '80s-movie a-hole type of guy getting hit in the groin with a can of Pepsi Max.

--The trend this year seemed to be a move away from slapstick and toward a slightly more clever means to get a laugh. Pepsi Max didn't seem to get that memo.

--Their third ad rehashed one of the most tired old stereotypes EVER . . . a woman on a date thinking "Can I marry him?" and a guy thinking "Can I sleep with her?" Give the audience a LITTLE credit, Pepsi. has built up a reputation for making edgier Super Bowl commercials . . . mostly through their own bragging about making edgier Super Bowl ads . . . but this year, they didn't stand out at ALL.

--They had one ad where JILLIAN MICHAELS and DANICA PATRICK introduced a new spokeswoman . . . surprise, it was JOAN RIVERS.

--In the second ad they teased maybe kinda sorta doing something sexual, but never showed more than bare lower legs. Their "Jillian Michaels and Danica Patrick" direction seems less effective than their old "random large breasted skanks" model.

--Snickers tried to recapture the magic they had last year when they relaunched BETTY WHITE into becoming a superstar. But this year, they picked a couple of far less likeable celebrities . . . RICHARD LEWIS and ROSEANNE BARR.

--Even though Roseanne Barr got hit with a giant log, we don't see this leading to her hosting "Saturday Night Live" by popular demand in a few months.

--A lot of commercials went the celebrity route, but proved that simply putting a celebrity in a commercial doesn't make it good. Ozzy Osbourne, Puffy Daddy, Justin Bieber, Adrien Brody, Kim Kardashian, Faith Hill, and Kenny G all guest starred in ads, but their mere presence alone didn't really take those ads to another level.

--Ozzy and Justin Bieber's ad was for Best Buy, and how they'll buy back your old electronics. It was okay, but felt more like they were saying "LOOK, we got Ozzy Osbourne and Justin Bieber" than actually promoting their buy-back program.

--And the Kim Kardashian Sketchers ad was a cheesy excuse to show off her body and her backside. Which is fine, until you realize that's EXACTLY what people expect from a Kim Kardashian ad. Something more creative could have gone a long way there.


--A few companies might get a little buzz for going edgier . . . and they all seemed to have ads in the third quarter.

--Groupon ran an ad that looked like a public service announcement for people struggling in Tibet . . . then pulled a 180 and talked about great coupon deals on Tibetan food. It wasn't funny enough to get away with being mildly offensive.

--They also had another ad on FOX yesterday . . . it didn't run during the game but was before and after. It featured ELIZABETH HURLEY talking about chopping down the rainforests, then compared it to coupons for hair removal. Same issue.

--Mini Cooper ran one of the edgier Super Bowl ads in recent memory, talking about how much stuff you could "cram in the boot," where boot meant trunk. The entire 30 seconds was a clear metaphor for NO-GO HOLE RELATIONS.

--You've got to give the Mini people credit . . . dropping $3 MILLION to talk to hundreds of millions of people about anusex is pretty impressive.

--The third somewhat-controversial ad was from a website called Frankly, their entire ad seemed like a convoluted effort to get away with the visual gag of throwing a baby into a plate glass window. Not so spectacular.

--Oh, and for what it's worth, Chevy ran an ad that revealed that their OnStar service can fill you in on your Facebook updates. (???) At our party, the whole room went dead silent afterward . . . then busted out laughing. Now THAT'S shock value.


--Bridgestone tires. They had two ads that performed very well, including a big one with a beaver and driver becoming good friends and helping each other out.

--NFL. The NFL took old TV clips, from everything from "Seinfeld" to "The Simpsons" to "Happy Days" and added football clothing to characters. It just WORKED.

--Volkswagen. Their ad featuring a kid dressed as Darth Vader using The Force got a giant response online . . . even though they'd released it online days earlier.

--Doritos. Doritos had two strong commercials, one with a guy licking cheese off his co-worker's fingers and pants, and another with a dog pushing a glass door over onto his owner for taunting him with Doritos.


--Pepsi Max. Pepsi went mostly with slapstick and old stereotypes . . . like guys getting hit in the groin, and men thinking about sex on a date while women think about marriage. Their ads felt generic, derivative and uninspired.

--Groupon. They went the edgy route, starting their ad to make it seem like it was about suffering in Tibet, then turning it into an ad for coupons on Tibetan food. It wasn't funny enough to justify going the semi-offensive route. Their entire commercial seemed like a setup for them to throw a baby into a plate glass window. It's not a great punchline and wasn't a great commercial.

Cameron Diaz Was Shown Feeding Popcorn to Alex Rodriguez at the Super Bowl:

Not that there was anyone left in the industrialized world who DIDN'T know that CAMERON DIAZ is rubbing forbidden areas with ALEX RODRIGUEZ. But if you didn't, the Super Bowl was your wakeup call. --Cameras caught Cameron feeding A-Rod popcorn. (--Here's video.)

Pink Took a Picture of Her Pregnant Belly:

PINK posted a picture of her pregnant belly on Twitter over the weekend. --She said, quote, "ALRIGHT ... because paparazzi of today have absolutely no photograhic skill or artistry whatsoever, and their pictures are hideous….I'm going to post a self-portrait I took yesterday morning for all of you asking to see belly shots. --"3 wks of photo classes for me…and I am already a far better photographer than any one of them…."

Zac Efron May Be dating an Australian Actress Named Teresa Palmer:

ZAC EFRON and VANESSA HUDGENS may not be getting back together after all. Zac was spotted clubbing with an Australian actress named TERESA PALMER on Thursday night . . . and at the end of the evening, they left together. --A witness says, quote, "He was grabbing her butt and doing very suggestive dancing. Then they made out a couple of times standing up where they were dancing. --"I was surprised they were doing that in front of everyone. It was like they didn't care." (--Teresa was in "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" with Nicolas Cage, and the upcoming flicks "I Am Number Four" and "Take Me Home Tonight". Check out some pics here.)

Shia LaBeouf Got Punched in a Bar . . . In an Altercation that May Have Started with a Gay Slur:

The King of the Small-Time Criminals found himself in handcuffs this weekend, but didn't end up getting arrested. SHIA LABEOUF got punched in a bar early Saturday morning . . . during an altercation that may have started with a gay slur. --It all went down at around 1:00 A.M. at a joint called Mad Bull's Tavern in Sherman Oaks, California. Shia was there with about 14 friends, when trouble started on the outdoor patio. --According to, a guy started taunting Shia, and called him that gay slur that starts with the letter "F" and rhymes with the last name of the most beloved former sitcom star of all time, Bob Saget. --Actually, the phrase he used was, quote, "(Effing) (Saget)." --A witness says, quote, "Shia shot back that he was going to 'kick his (effing) ass.' Shia then lunged but the other guy got the first punch in. He hit Shia hard in the face and split his lip." --A cop just happened to be driving by at that moment and saw all the commotion. He called for backup, and, quote, "suddenly nine cop cars were there." --Shia was handcuffed, questioned and released. But apparently, the guy who punched him was not. --The dude's name is Mark Mastro. And he says he initially approached Shia very respectfully, asking if he'd take a picture with his girlfriend. --He says, quote, "[Shia] didn't want anything to do with me. He said he just wanted to chill and refused to do photos. I walked away." --Later that night they were on the patio, when they saw Shia and his crew leaving the bar. One of Mark's friends said, quote, "What's up, Shia?" And Shia, who was SMASHED, replied, quote, "Get the (eff) out of my way." --That's when Mark said that Shia was a, quote, "(Effing) (Saget)." --It wasn't long before chaos ensued. Mark says, quote, "He charged at me! I jumped over the patio fence onto the sidewalk to get away from him. But he kept coming after me. --"He was getting in my face. He was talking (crap). He was chest-bumping me." --Mark leaves out the part where he actually clocks Shia . . . he just says that a bouncer put Shia in a headlock, and that's when police started arriving. He said Shia was cuffed and put in a cop car, but HE wasn't . . . so he left. (--Here's video of cops detaining Shia.) --A regular patron of Mad Bull's says he's seen Shia and his friends there a few times and they're, quote, "a bunch of (A-holes). They are all in their early 20s and get loaded." --But the bar's owner, Richard DiSisto, says, quote, "It was just boys being boys. Things got really out of hand and it didn't have to go down the way it did --"No one needed or should have gotten hurt, things could have been dealt with in an entirely different way."
Zsa Zsa Gabor Went Home Yesterday . . . On Her 94th Birthday:

Yesterday was ZSA ZSA GABOR'S 94th birthday . . . and she went home from the hospital to celebrate it. --The party included a serenade by old-school entertainer ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK. --Zsa Zsa's rep says, quote, "[Hospital staff] did a magnificent job getting her back. They treated her with an aggressive treatment of antibiotics. The doctors said it was 50-50, but it worked."

Jesse Eisenberg Doesn't Like Being Confused with Michael Cera:

JESSE EISENBERG is getting all manner of attention for playing Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in "The Social Network". --Maybe now he'll finally stop being confused with MICHAEL CERA . . . because he hates that. --He says, quote, "People recognize me all the time as him. It's annoying. I don't like getting recognized as other people."

Will Lindsay Lohan Be Charged with a Felony Today?

TMZ is reporting that LINDSAY LOHAN will be charged with a FELONY today for allegedly stealing that $2,500 necklace from a Venice, California jewelry store. --That charge could land her a three-year prison term . . . and let's not forget she's still on probation for her 2007 DUIs. --Lindsay's attorney says, quote, "We vehemently deny these allegations and, if charges are filed, we will fight them in court, not in the press." --Lindsay claims the necklace was LOANED to her.

Charlie Sheen Is Texting Porno Stars and Telling Them He's "Closed":

CHARLIE SHEEN is SERIOUS about turning his life around. At least this week he is. --A source says Charlie has been texting all his lady friends in the pornographic arts and telling them the party's over. --One such text read, quote, "Please lose the number, we are closed . . . please drive through . . . thank you." --And another said, quote, "Right now we are on lockdown."

Anderson Cooper Has Left Egypt:

After facing angry mobs TWICE last week, ANDERSON COOPER announced Saturday that he was leaving Egypt. --He Tweeted, quote, "It is with a heavy heart that I have decided to leave Egypt. CNN continues to have many teams in place. It was a hard decision to leave." --NBC's BRIAN WILLIAMS and CBS's KATIE COURIC had already bolted on Thursday. --Meanwhile, CBS senior foreign correspondent LARA LOGAN and her crew were RELEASED Friday . . . after being detained by Egyptian police on Thursday. She left Egypt, too. --The Committee to Protect Journalists reports more than 110 direct attacks on journalists in recent days. --The attacks increased significantly once supporters of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak took to the streets and started clashing with anti-Mubarak demonstrators.

Tura Satana Has Died:

TURA SATANA . . . the legendary star of one of the greatest cult films of all time, "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" . . . died Friday night in Reno, Nevada. She was either 72 or 75. (--There's some dispute as to her birth year.) --Tura was a busty, exotic-looking minx who started out as a nude dancer and model . . . after spending some time in a California internment camp during World War 2. --Tura was born in Japan, although her bloodlines were all over the map. She had some Japanese, Filipino, Scots-Irish and even Cheyenne Indian in her. --It was a small part in the 1963 film "Irma la Douce", starring Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine, that put her on the map. --Two years later, sexploitation director RUSS MEYER cast her as the lead in "Faster, Pussycat . . .", a movie about three bad-ass go-go dancers who get mixed up in all manner of trouble . . . including MURDER. --Tura didn't do much acting after that . . . and it was all low-budget stuff, like "The Astro Zombies" in 1968 and a movie that some people think inspired "Charlie's Angels" . . . called "The Doll Squad", in 1973. --She also bedded her share of Hollywood players . . . and even rejected a marriage proposal from a young ELVIS PRESLEY . . . although she kept the ring. (--Bow down to the great Tura Satana with this clip from "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" . . . in which she kills a dude with her BARE HANDS. You can also enjoy the theme song from the movie here.)
Tara Reid Says She's Doing a "Big Lebowski" Sequel . . . But The Coen Brothers Say It's Not Happening:

"The Big Lebowski" is about 13 years old . . . and it's STILL one of the only truly good movies TARA REID has ever done. Which is probably why she's so willing to believe there'll be a sequel. --During a recent interview, Tara was hyping some of her upcoming projects. And she said, quote, "We'll be doing 'American Pie 4' and 'Big Lebowski 2' this year." --Well, there won't be a "Big Lebowski 2" unless JOEL and ETHAN COEN write and direct it. And that doesn't appear to be happening. --When they were informed of Tara's plans to shoot the sequel, Ethan said, quote, "I'm glad she's working on it . . . we'll watch it when it comes out." --Joel added, quote, "Especially if Tara's in it." --Tara's rep quickly covered for her . . . by blaming JEFF BRIDGES. He said, quote, "She heard Jeff Bridges say that he wanted to make 'Big Lebowski 2' and have all the original cast members in it. --"So she may have misspoke, thinking that included her based on what Jeff said."

"The Roommate" Is the New #1 Movie in America:

LEIGHTON MEESTER and MINKA KELLY'S thriller "The Roommate" topped the Super Bowl weekend box office, pulling in $15.6 million. That beat out the JAMES CAMERON-produced "Sanctum", which made just $9.2 million.

1.) (NEW) "The Roommate", $15.6 million.
2.) (NEW) "Sanctum", $9.2 million.
3.) "No Strings Attached", $8.4 million. Up to $51.8 million in its 3rd week.

Did MTV Drop Lauren Conrad's New Reality Show Because It Was Too Sophisticated?

MTV was developing a new reality show with LAUREN CONRAD of "The Hills". But when they saw the finished product, they weren't interested. And it might be because it wasn't TRASHY enough. --The show was going to be about Lauren's new fashion line and her other business ventures, but NOT about her personal life. And it seems like that's why MTV ended up passing on it. --Or at least, that's what Lauren thinks. She lashed out at MTV . . . saying, quote, "MTV felt the subject matter was too high-brow for their audience and offered me the opportunity to change the show by incorporating more of my personal life. --"We agreed going into the project that this show would be an aspirational one, focusing on my career and my goals and not my personal relationships. --"We delivered the show that we sold and are sorry MTV didn't feel their viewers were savvy enough to appreciate it." -Regardless, an MTV suit says, quote, "We love her! We would love her on our network. It was a great attempt, but it just didn't feel like a perfect fit for us now." (--It wouldn't be shocking if MTV did pass on Lauren's show because it wasn't MORONIC enough. Still, that says a lot about MTV and how they feel about their own audience.)

Monday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"Inside the Actors Studio" . . . 7:00 to 8:00 P.M. on Bravo. (--Colin Firth is interviewed. He's up for Best Actor for "The King's Speech".)

--"House" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Cuddy's mother . . . played by Candice Bergen . . . is admitted to the hospital but she won't let House treat her.)

--"Chuck" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--John Larroquette guest stars.)

--"The Unpoppables" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on TLC. (--Balloon artists create a balloon sculpture for the L.A. Fire Department Museum's annual Fiery Fiesta.)

--"I'm in the Band" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on Disney XD. (--"The Middle's" Atticus Shaffer guest stars a classical cellist when the members of Iron Weasel try to turn him into a rock star.)

--"Gossip Girl" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW. (--Music Guest: Florence and the Machine.)

--"The Chicago Code" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Jennifer Beals stars as Chicago's first female police superintendent.)

--"American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery Channel. (--Junior fires Odie after taking some back talk from him . . . and OCC unveils a bike for Bic.)

--"RuPaul's Drag Race" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Logo. (--LaToya Jackson guest judges, and Susan Powter gives inspiration for the remaining contestants.)

--"Shatner's Raw Nerve" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Biography. (--Rick Springfield and Florence Henderson guest.)
Justin Bieber's Bodyguard Has Been Arrested for Allegedly Assaulting a Photographer Last Year:

One of JUSTIN BIEBER'S bodyguards, Kenneth Hamilton, was arrested at the premiere of Justin's movie "Never Say Never" in New York last Wednesday . . . because he allegedly got a little rough with a photographer back in November. (--This was the incident that prompted Justin's PRIMAL SCREAM. At the time, the photographer claimed Justin, quote, "put his mouth to the [window] and let out a roar, like a primal scream, with his mouth wide open . . . it was so odd.") --E! News says the cops cuffed Hamilton right in front of Justin. -The cops booked Hamilton, and gave him a "desk appearance ticket." That means he'll have to appear in court at some point . . . but no date has been set yet. (--By the way, Justin had two cameos on "Saturday Night Live" this weekend. One was a spoof of the new movie "The Roommate" . . . and he also appeared in a new Church Lady skit.)

Slash Would Consider a Guns N' Roses Reunion . . . If He Gets an Apology from Axl Rose:

SLASH would consider a GUNS N' ROSES reunion, under one condition: That he receives an apology from AXL ROSE. (--I suppose anything is possible . . . eventually . . . with Axl Rose and Guns N' Roses, but an Axl Rose apology is the one thing that seems even LESS LIKELY than a Guns N' Roses reunion.) --Slash told the "L.A. Daily News", quote, "[The apology] would be a call I would be surprised to get. If that really happened, I would have to clean out my junk drawer, too, but I don't see it happening. --"But if it did happen . . . I would do whatever it takes to at least have a conversation about [a reunion]." (--In the meantime, it would appear that Slash is fine doing "Sweet Child O' Mine" with FERGIE of the BLACK EYED PEAS on vocals, which happened last night during the Super Bowl halftime show.)

Funkmaster Flex Was Arrested for Allegedly Shoving a Woman:

FUNKMASTER FLEX was arrested in New York last Friday . . . after a woman told police Flex shoved her, tried to break her phone, and sent her threatening messages. --According to TMZ, he was charged with "harassment, aggravated harassment and criminal mischief." He was later released on $500 bail. --There's no information on his accuser other than that she's a 40-year-old woman. Flex has been ordered to stay away from her until the situation is resolved.


JUSTIN BIEBER and SELENA GOMEZ were spotted in Santa Monica yesterday, looking very much like a couple. (Full Story)

Are JULIA ROBERTS and JAVIER BARDEM having an affair? (Full Story)

Did BRISTOL PALIN'S new boyfriend used to date LEVI JOHNSTON'S little sister, Mercede? (Full Story)

Does HALLE BERRY'S baby-daddy get upset when people say their daughter is black? (Full Story)

Remember when GISELE BUNDCHEN had to put her foot in her mouth after saying all new mothers should be required by law to breastfeed? Now she's angering cancer experts by calling sun block "poison". (Full Story)

MIKE "THE SITUATION" SORRENTINO plans on doing "another year or so" of "Jersey Shore" before "graduating to movies." He adds, quote, "There's only so long you can rule the reality world." Mike has yet to land a movie role. (Full Story)

CBS is developing a new sitcom starring ROB SCHNEIDER as a lifelong bachelor, who's just married into a "tight-knit Mexican-American family." (Full Story)

A Gil Grissom return wasn't enough to bring "CSI" viewers back. WILLIAM PETERSEN'S cameo on last week's episode did NOT give the show a bump in the ratings. Instead, the numbers were actually down from the last two new episodes. (Full Story)

"TV Guide" says KELSEY GRAMMER'S estranged wife CAMILLE . . . who the entertainment media wants us to care about, for some reason . . . will guest star on the season finale of "(Bleep) My Dad Says" on February 17th. (Full Story)

Guitarist GARY MOORE . . . who played with THIN LIZZY and as a solo act . . . was found dead yesterday at a hotel in Spain. There's no word on a cause of death yet. He was 58. (Full Story)

Organizers say U2's concert in South Africa is still a go for this Friday . . . despite some thieves who stole power cables from the venue, apparently for the copper in them. (Full Story)

LCD SOUNDSYSTEM say they will play their last show EVER on April 2nd at New York City's Madison Square Garden. They previously announced that they would be breaking up. (Full Story)


Four Out of Five People Now Check Someone Out on Google or Facebook Before a First Date:

Next time you have a first date, we want to make sure you know that . . . YOU'VE BEEN STALKED. --According to a new survey of single people in their 20s, 81%, or four out of five, say that they always check out a person on Google or Facebook before a first date. --And one out of 10 say they usually know, quote, "EVERYTHING" about a potential date before they get face-to-face. --47% of people say they've changed things on their Facebook page to make themselves seem more, quote, "mysterious" to a potential date. --The survey also found that 64% of people say they've faked being sick or having a headache to end a date early . . . 33% have had a friend call them with a fake emergency . . . and 28% have left a date for a fake work emergency. --Also, 9% have actually snuck away while their date was in the bathroom. (Wedlok)

One Out of Three People Admit They Steal Their Neighbor's Wi-Fi:

Do you have a password on your Internet connection at home? I'm guessing a few of you are saying "yes" . . . more of you are saying "um, maybe?" . . . and plenty of you are saying "thank god my neighbors don't use a password on theirs." --According to a new nationwide survey, 32% of Americans . . . or ONE out of THREE . . . admit they're stealing their neighbor's Wi-Fi Internet connection. --In other words . . . if you don't have a password on your wireless Internet router, there's a pretty decent chance someone in the area is leeching off you. --In 2008, only 18% of people said they were hopping on a neighbor's Wi-Fi connection. Then again, a lot more people have high-speed Internet today than back in '08. --There are two big reasons you should password-protect your connection so that other people can't steal from you. One, you're PAYING for that connection . . . probably a lot of money. --But two, if your Internet connection isn't secure, someone else could jump on it and easily hack your Facebook password . . . or use your connection to download illegal things . . . possibly even child pornography. (USA Today) (--If you don't know how to make your connection secure, just ask your kid. Or order Chinese and tip the delivery guy $5 to set you up with a password. Did that come off racist? Whatever. The pizza guy probably can't do it.)

38% of Couples Who Were Planning On Getting Divorced Have Put It Off . . . Because of the Recession:

The recession might be doing more to save marriages than expensive couples counseling, hard Bible study, and crotchless leather underwear COMBINED. --According to a new survey, 38% of couples who were thinking about getting divorced or separated in the past few years have stayed together . . . because of the recession. --Divorce is expensive, and in an era where jobs and steady income can be hard to come by, people are choosing a somewhat-unhappy-but-financially-secure marriage over the freedom of splitting up, and being straight-up broke. --The recession has also helped some couples that weren't considering splitting up. 29% of couples said that the recession has made their marriage stronger. Only 13% say that it's made their marriage weaker. (PR Newswire)

Breaking News: The New 31-Ounce Starbucks Cups Can Hold an Entire Bottle of Wine:

It's a big day for people who like to inconspicuously drink HUGE AMOUNTS of wine when they're on the bus or sitting at work. --Starbucks has been rolling out its 31-ounce size, called the Trenta. And someone figured out that the cup is big enough that once you're done with your iced coffee, you can fill the cup with an ENTIRE BOTTLE OF WINE. (Eater) (--An average wine bottle is 750 milliliters, which is just over 25 ounces.) (--Here's a video where a guy demonstrates pouring wine into the Trenta.)
More Than Nine Out of Ten People Are Overwhelmed By Their Own Mess:

Unless you have a raging case of OCD . . . or you've got the money for a live-in butler . . . odds are your place sometimes gets messy and cluttered. And if that mess stresses you out . . . well, you're definitely not alone. --According to a new study, 91% of Americans, or more than nine out of ten, say that at least some of the time they're overwhelmed by the clutter in their house. --88% of people say they wish their house was cleaner than it is now. -Almost half of people say they refuse to have guests over when the place is a mess. --The main term people used to describe their house or a room in their house was "cluttered." "Disorganized" was number two and "messy" was number three. (PR Newswire)

Photos of the Day: A Realtor Uses The Same Vase of Flowers Over and Over and Over Again In House Photos:

This sequence of photos really cracked us up. They're from an online real estate listing in Houston. It appears the realtor believes that a few vases of flowers really liven up a room. BUT . . . he only sprung for a couple of arrangements. --So in EVERY SINGLE PHOTO of the house, he's placed the same vases of flowers. It gets to a point where it's beyond comical . . . the same vases on the bed, in the backyard, on the stairs, EVERYWHERE. (--Check the photos out here. Also, for now, the online listing for the home is still up here.)

A Hunter Sues a Travel Company . . . Because He Went On a Trip To Africa Expecting To Shoot an Endangered Elephant and Didn't Get To:

This lawsuit HAS to get dismissed . . . right? --A hunter In Poland who's only been identified by as Waldemar is suing a travel company because they sent him on a trip to Africa, and according to him, promised he could SHOOT an endangered elephant. And he didn't get that opportunity. --In fact, Waldemar says he didn't even SEE any elephants. He didn't even see any, quote, "elephant excrement." There were no elephants to be shot or to poop anywhere near him. --When he complained, the company sent him on a second trip, where he DID shoot and kill a male elephant. But, because his first trip was a bust, he STILL wants $130,000 in damages. (Reuters)

Two Men Are Robbed Because Their Guard Dog Was Busy "Trying To Get His Groove On" With a Female Dog:

When you decide to get yourself a pit bull and train him to be your guard dog, you do it for that ONE time, that ONE day, when you'll actually be in danger and need him to step in. --34-year-old Edward Smith of Cortez, Florida has a pit bull named Zeus who he'd trained as a guard dog. --On Friday morning, he finally needed his dog to protect him when a robber broke into the house . . . made Edward and a friend STRIP . . . and then stole their wallets at gunpoint. --But Zeus wasn't there to save the day. Because, according to Edward, quote, "He was down the road, trying to get his groove on" with a female dog. --The police are still searching for the robber. --There's no word on whether or not Zeus was able to successfully get his groove on. (Bradenton Herald)


A Purse Snatcher Is Caught When He Calls 911 To Report That a Snowplow Has Been Following Him Since He Stole the Purse:

Last week, a woman was loading groceries into her car in the parking lot of a Walmart in Alliance, Ohio when a teenager drove up next to her and grabbed her purse. --That teenager was 18-year-old Cody Bragg. And after he had the purse, he took off in his Honda Civic. --John Shuman is a snowplow driver who was in the parking lot and saw it all go down. And he decided he wasn't going to let Cody get away. So he started following him, in his snow plow. He chased Cody . . . for 21 miles. --And that's when Cody inadvertently turned himself in. --Cody called 911 and told the operator, quote, "There's a guy in a snowplow and he's following me and he's scaring me." --When the cops pulled John over, he explained why he was following Cody. The police tracked Cody down at his house a few hours later and arrested him. --As for Cody calling 911 on himself, John says, quote, "Definitely [the] dumbest criminal, for sure." (ABC 5 - Cleveland)

Police Bust a 50-Home Burglary Spree After the Thief Finally Slips Up . . . And Leaves His Cell Phone Charging At a House He Just Robbed:

It wasn't exactly crack detective work that finally busted a GIGANTIC burglary spree in Maryland recently. In fact, detectives couldn't come close to cracking it. No . . . it all came crashing down thanks to the thief making one incredibly stupid mistake. --Police say that 25-year-old Cody Wilkins of Silver Spring, Maryland is responsible for more than FIFTY home break-ins and burglaries since November. --And they could never catch him. He'd break in when the homes were empty, steal jewelry or electronics, and get out. He wouldn't leave a trace. The police tried forensic testing, tracking footprints, analyzing his pattern . . . nothing. --Then, finally, last week, Cody messed up. --He'd lost power at home because of the snow. So when he broke into a house in Silver Spring, he brought his CELL PHONE CHARGER with him . . . and he plugged it in to get a little juice while he robbed the place. --Before he could get out, the homeowner's son got home . . . and Cody had to jump out of a window and run. When he ran, he forgot that his cell phone was still charging. --The police used it to easily track him down. At first Cody confessed to three robberies . . . as the police investigated, they realized he was responsible for a hell of a lot more. HE was the master criminal who'd been foiling them for three months. --Detective Kye Pak worked the burglaries in the Olney, Maryland area. He says, quote, "Sometimes it's great investigations [that we catch someone], sometimes it's sheer luck, sheer stupidity. We'll take it any way we can get it." (Washington Post)
A Group of Thieves Have Been Robbing Wal-Marts By Faking Seizures . . . And Stealing Stuff While Workers Were Distracted:

--In Missouri, a group of thieves has been robbing Wal-Marts with a scheme where one person fakes a seizure . . . and the other people rob the store while everyone's distracted. --The group has gone to several Wal-Marts and pulled the same move. One of the men in the group goes into the store, pretends to have a seizure, and starts flopping around on the floor. --Everyone in the store rushes to either help or watch the guy. And when that happens, two women and one other man run out of the store with shopping carts full of stuff. --Once they're clear, the guy faking the seizure just stands up, shakes it off, and walks out too. -Police have video surveillance on the thieves but they're still looking for them. (ABC 33 - Springfield, Missouri)


Super Bowl Stupidity: Two former Super Bowl MVPs had to be separated by cops at an autograph signing. Phil Simms was upset that Desmond Howard insulted his son . . . who's a college quarterback . . . on ESPN. (Full Story)

Photos of the Day: It's the Eleven Best . . . or Worst? . . . Vagina Tattoos! We like the two Homer Simpsons, and the tribute to Willie Nelson, complete with "beard." (Full Story)

They're not sure why, but according to new research, scientists say Canadian women get chubbier faster than almost any other women in the high-income world. (Full Story)

Inventors have developed the "cyber hug" . . . a network of straps that works like a harness that you connect to your computer, so sensors can mimic a heartbeat, tingling down your spine, and the sensation of having butterflies in your stomach. (Full Story)

There's a 9/11 commemorative coin made from "silver" recovered from the ashes of the World Trade Center. But it only contains about 25 cents worth of silver, it doesn't go towards the 9/11 memorial, and it's made by the people that brought you 'The Bedazzler' . . . that thing that adds rhinestones to your clothes. (Full Story)


#1.) Dana Carvey and Mike Meyers Returned to "SNL" . . . As Wayne and Garth from "Wayne's World":

"Wayne's World" returned to "Saturday Night Live" this weekend. DANA CARVEY hosted, and MIKE MEYERS guest starred. And the shows started with the two of them giving their 2011 Oscar picks. --They also used PHIL HARTMAN'S original "Wayne's World" intro from the 80s, which was a nice touch. (--Search for "Wayne's World Cold Open")

#3.) Here's What Watching Football Would Be Like . . . If the Football Could Talk:

The NFL has been putting microphones on players and coaches for years. But did a parody video with in-game commentary from the FOOTBALL. (--Search for "If Footballs Could Talk")

#4.) A Woman Used a Guy's Snow Shovel, and Didn't Return It . . . So the Guy Buried Her Car In Snow:

There's a new video on YouTube of a guy in Chicago burying a woman's car in snow using a snow blower. And if it's real, it's awesome. He did it because she took a snow shovel from his porch so she could dig out her car out of the show. --Then she didn't bother putting the shovel back. So the guy checked his security cameras, and found out who did it. Then he found the woman's car the next morning, and used to snow blower to absolutely BURY it. --It took over 30 minutes for her to clear it all off. (--Search for "Quadrilogy of My Favorite Snow Shovel." He starts using the snow blower at :53, and she starts shoveling at 3:05.)
Five Strange Things That Predict Your Future Health:

If you made it through all the food and beer yesterday WITHOUT having a heart attack, you might be one of the lucky ones. Here are five strange things that predict your future health.

#1.) Birth Order. It hasn't been proven yet, but studies suggest that first-born boys are exposed to higher levels of estrogen at birth, increasing their risk of testicular cancer. And older siblings are also more likely to develop childhood leukemia.

#2.) Finger Length. According to a study of more than 4,500 men, if your index finger is longer than your ring finger, you're 33% LESS likely to develop prostate cancer.

#3.) Grip Strength. For 25 years, researchers studied more than 6,000 men between the ages of 45 and 68. And the men with the weakest grip were twice as likely to become disabled at some point in their lives. --And a separate study showed that older men and women with strong grips also live longer.

#4.) Hair Loss. According to studies done by Harvard Medical School, men with pattern baldness have a higher risk of developing heart disease. --And men who are COMPLETELY bald up top have the highest risk. They're 36% more likely to have heart problems than men who have a full head of hair.

#5.) Religion. People who regularly go to church also tend to live longer. For example, there's a community of Seventh Day Adventists outside Los Angeles with an average life expectancy of 88, which is ten years longer than average. --Scientists say it's partly because they don't drink or smoke, and they eat healthy. But there's evidence that faith itself plays a key role. (Reader's Digest)


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