Friday, March 4, 2011



Charlie Sheen Claimed He Had a Custody Deal Worked Out with Brooke Mueller . . . But That Might Not Be the Case: Yesterday, CHARLIE SHEEN Tweeted that he had worked out a custody deal with BROOKE MUELLER. --He said, quote, "not sure what all the legal noise is about ... just verbally reached a deal with B. no court monday. yay." --He added, quote, "Yet the opposition felt it necessary to still harass me with old gibberish .... odd? perhaps. transparent? you betcha'!" --But shortly after those Tweets were posted, TMZ reported that the deal was OFF . . . because Charlie went on a Philadelphia radio station and started talking about it. --Supposedly, one of the terms of the deal was that Charlie NOT talk to the media about it. --The reason Charlie called the station in the first place was because their morning show paid a pilot to fly a banner over Charlie's house, offering him a job. --And he revealed to the station that some cops had been at his house. He wasn't really clear about why they were there. --He said, quote, "Everything was fine until everyone started calling me saying 'the cops are coming to arrest you', and I'm like 'but it's not even three o'clock.' --"We reached a deal. I can't say what it is obviously. But there's no court Monday." --Then he said, quote, "There's some leftover something that they decided was important enough to bring to my attention with cops as delivery people." --He added, quote, "I'm talking about opposing counsel sending some type of letter or notice in the friendly delivery system of our city's finest. It's alright, it's fine, whatever it is, it's fine. I'm not worried. They can't really ruffle this assassin's feathers." (--For the record, there are other sources saying that Brooke NEVER agreed to the deal.) (--You can listen to the interview here.)

Charlie Sheen Broke a Twitter Record:

Talk about WINNING: CHARLIE SHEEN has broken the Guinness World Record for snagging one million Twitter followers in the shortest amount of time: 25 hours and 17 minutes. --Now that Charlie is on Twitter, we can probably expect him to start racking up endorsements. Especially with his future employment and employability in question. --As you may have noticed, the first picture Charlie posted on Twitter was of him holding a bottle of chocolate milk. He was NOT paid for that one. --But Ray Broguiere . . . the owner of the California dairy farm it came from . . . says he's been getting TONS of phone calls since that picture was posted. And he says, quote, "I'd be happy to give him free chocolate milk whenever he stops by the farm."

Are News Organizations Working on Charlie Sheen's Obituary?

We all know that when celebrities appear close to death, media outlets try to get a jump on the Reaper by working up their obituaries. So it's probably not much of a surprise that people are writing CHARLIE SHEEN'S obit, just to be ready. --Even at Charlie's own network CBS. (--Or is that his FORMER network?) --A source over there says, quote, "No one is wishing the worst but as a news organization for us not to be prepared for one of the biggest stories in a long time would be unprofessional."

Charlie Sheen Wants to Meet with CBS President Les Moonves:

CHARLIE SHEEN has put the crazy in his back pocket and started acting a lot more rational over the past few days. And that includes taking real steps to get back to work on "Two and a Half Men". --According to "Access Hollywood", Charlie has made contact with CBS President LES MOONVES . . . and he's hoping to set up a meeting for tomorrow. --Meanwhile, Charlie has extended an olive branch to JOHN STAMOS . . . who is SUPPOSEDLY being considered as a possible replacement for Charlie on the show. --When that rumor started circulating, Charlie was a little dismissive and snarky about it. But now he says, quote, "I was out of line and you are a beautiful man and a talented man. And if you get the gig, we should talk."

Charlie Sheen Once Wrote a Book of Poetry:

Here's something I'm sure you didn't know about CHARLIE SHEEN: In 1990, he self-published a book of his own poetry. It was called "A Peace of My Mind", and it included illustrations by director ADAM RIFKIN. (--You can see a picture of the cover and read some of Charlie's poems here.) --About the most famous thing Rifkin directed was "Detroit Rock City" in 1999. And he wrote or co-wrote "Small Soldiers", the "Underdog" movie and "Knucklehead" . . . a movie that came out last year starring the pro rassler BIG SHOW. --Back in 1989, he directed a movie called "Tale of Two Sisters" . . . which included Charlie reading his fantastic poetry in voiceover. (--You can watch the trailer . . . which includes some of Charlie's fine verse . . . here.)
Random Sheen-Anigans:

#1.) Just when you thought there weren't any new ways to have fun with CHARLIE SHEEN'S crazy-ass quotes, it's time to play everybody's favorite new game show . . . "Sheen, Beck or Gaddafi?" (--Here's the link.)

#2.) If you missed Wednesday's "Jimmy Fallon", then you missed Jimmy's awesome impression of Charlie . . . in an ad for his new cologne, Winning. (--Check it out here.)

#3.) Charlie Sheen's goddesses do NOT compete for his love or his Adonis DNA. Goddess Rachel Oberlin says, quote, "We connect with Charlie in different ways, so there's nothing really there to compete for. We're all pieces of a puzzle that fit together." (Full Story)

#4.) If some of Charlie's terminology still confuses you, the "L.A. Times" has put together a mini Charlie Sheen Dictionary to explain some of the colorful words and phrases he's so fond of. (Full Story)

#5.) Nobody's really mentioning it much, but Charlie has a 26-year-old daughter named Cassandra. X-17 Online caught up with her yesterday, but she didn't want to talk. They got some pictures of her, though. (Photos)

Holly Madison is Getting her Playboy Bunny Tramp Stamp Removed:

Yesterday, we saw a picture of HOLLY MADISON from "Life & Style" . . . which she allowed the magazine to print without making any improvements to it. --One thing we didn't notice at the time was that Holly's Playboy Bunny tramp stamp tattoo is almost gone. Turns out she's been having it removed for a while now. --She says, quote, "I started getting laser treatments in 2009 to remove it. It's a walking ad for Playboy . . . and I joke that they've stopped paying for the ad space! --"I still need six more treatments, but I don't know if I'll ever get around to them because it's so easily covered with makeup." (--Here's that picture again, along with a blown-up view of the tattoo.)

Possible Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee Slams Natalie Portman for Being Pregnant Out of Wedlock:

You can tell a presidential campaign season is ramping up when potential candidates start trying to mobilize people around silly issues that really have no bearing on their lives or the real problems they face. --Enter MIKE HUCKABEE . . . the former governor of Arkansas and current host of his own Fox News show. He's on the short list of possible Republican presidential candidates, and he's starting a beef with . . . NATALIE PORTMAN. --Why? Because she's PREGNANT OUT OF WEDLOCK. --He says, quote, "People see a Natalie Portman or some other Hollywood starlet who boasts of, 'Hey look, you know . . . we're not married but we're having these children and they're doing just fine.' --"I think it gives a distorted image. It's unfortunate that we glorify and glamorize the idea of out-of-wedlock children." -Huckabee says it's a "distorted image" because most single mothers don't have the resources of a Hollywood starlet. --He says, quote, "Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can't get a job, and if it weren't for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care. --"And that's the story that we're not seeing. And that's the story that we're not seeing, and it's unfortunate that we glorify and glamorize the idea of out-of-wedlock children."

Paula Abdul Called 911 On Valentine's Day . . . Because Her Boyfriend Wouldn't Let Her Out of His Car:

How was your Valentine's Day? It would have to have been pretty bad in order to be worse than PAULA ABDUL'S. --Paula was in her boyfriend's car, and they got into a heated argument. Paula decided that she wanted him to pull over and let her out, but he refused. --So Paula called 911 . . . and she was pretty HYSTERICAL. --She told the operator, quote, "I want out of this car and he won't let me!" Then she told her boyfriend, quote, "Are you gonna drop me off, 'cuz I have emergency on the phone." --After a little screaming and hyperventilating, Paula told the operator, quote, "He's dropping me off." --Police got in touch with Paula a little later, and she told them everything was fine. --Her rep issued the following statement . . . quote, "Arguments with loved ones are often times heated. After the call was made everything was worked out." (--There's no word who Paula's boyfriend is. You can listen to the call here.)

Bobbi Kristina Brown Says She Was Not Snorting Coke:

BOBBI KRISTINA BROWN is denying that she was snorting coke in those pictures the "National Enquirer" printed. In fact, she's blaming a bitter ex-boyfriend for SETTING HER UP. --She posted several messages on Twitter pleading her case. She said, quote, "A former very dear person to me did this. Set me up to make it look exactly what it looks like. God will smite them yes . . . But it's really not what it looks like. --"People will do anything for money which is extremely sad, and I'm very hurt by this. Things people do these days to hurt others is a shame. --"The person that did this was a result of a horrible relationship that went sour. I was in love, he was in love with money. I've learned my lesson." --Bobbi also gave props to her mom, WHITNEY HOUSTON, for helping her get through it . . . quote, "I love my family so much. My mom just comforted me to the max, and I'm so thankful for her. --"Thank you so much lord for blessing me with [a] phenomenal family and incredibly phenomenal mother. Thank you for giving me the strength to move forward and put things in the past." (--Here's a close-up of one of the alleged pics of Bobbi Kristina snorting. If that's really her in the picture, I'm having a little trouble understanding how someone tricked her into that position.)

Check Out Donald Trump's Hair Blowing in the Wind:

Two things that do NOT work well together are DONALD TRUMP'S hair and the wind. But they met up the other day in New York City, as Donald stopped to sign some autographs. The results weren't all that pretty. (--Check out some pics here.)


Matt Damon's Up Against an Animated Johnny Depp Western, and a New Version of Beauty and the Beast:

#1.) "The Adjustment Bureau" (PG-13)

Matt Damon learns that fate is controlled by menacing "agents" in fedoras, who guide events to keep everyone on some sort of master plan. But when they try to keep him apart from Emily Blunt, he risks both their futures to stay together. (Trailer) --Some people are comparing it to "Inception", but it's based on a short story by Philip K. Dick, the guy whose stories inspired "Total Recall", "Minority Report" and "Blade Runner".

#2.) "Rango" (PG)

An animated western with Johnny Depp as a chameleon who gets suckered into becoming the sheriff of a small town. Some of the other voices include Isla Fisher, Abigail Breslin, and Ned Beatty. (Trailer)

#3.) "Beastly" (PG-13)

Alex Pettyfer from "I Am Number Four" stars in a modern version of "Beauty and the Beast". But instead of being transformed into a hairy monster, he's curse to be bald, tattooed, and mutilated . . . like classmates he bullied when he was handsome. Mary-Kate Olsen is the witch who curses him, Neil Patrick Harris is his blind tutor, and Vanessa Hudgens plays the girl who falls in love with him despite his looks. (Trailer)

#4.) "Take Me Home Tonight" (R)

Topher Grace lies about his job to impress his old high school crush. So she invites him to an end-of-summer party where he has to work even harder to impress her. Anna Faris plays his sister, and his crush is "I Am Number Four's" Teresa Palmer. (Trailer) --The movie is set in the '80s, so the soundtrack is loaded with classic tunes from Duran Duran, Men Without Hats, Wang Chung, Dexy's Midnight Runners, Yaz, Opus, and The Buggles.

"Star Wars - Episode 1: The Phantom Menace" Hits Theaters in 3D Next February:

Here's the good news: The first "Star Wars" flick to hit theaters in 3D is doing so in less than a year. The official release date is February 10th, 2012. --Here's the bad news: They're doing the movies in chronological story order . . . which means that the NEW trilogy comes first. And the movie that opens next February is "Episode 1: The Phantom Menace". --The plan right now is to make the 3D releases an ANNUAL event. If that's the case, then the original trilogy . . . the one most fans REALLY care about . . . won't even start until 2015.

"Twilight" Director Catherine Hardwicke Made Robert Pattinson Stay Away from Kristen Stewart Until She Turned 18:

Catherine Hardwicke . . . who directed the original "Twilight" . . . says ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART hit it off immediately while auditioning for the movie at Catherine's house. --But since Kristen was only 17 at the time, she had to tell Robert to LAY OFF. At least temporarily. --It was actually Robert's audition. Kristen had already been cast. The audition included a kiss . . . which took place on Catherine's bed. --She says, quote, "[Kristen] felt connected to him from the first moment. That electricity, or love at first sight, or whatever it is. She was like, 'It's got to be Rob!'" --Robert was 21 at the time . . . and Catherine was a little worried about their amazing chemistry. --She told Robert, quote, "You've got to realize that Kristen is 17 years old. She's underage. You've got to focus, dude, or you're going to be arrested." She adds, quote, "I made him swear on a stack of Bibles." (--Kristin is 20 now . . . and Robert is 24. But not for much longer. Her birthday is in April, and his is in May.)

Simon Cowell Says Paula Abdul and Mariah Carey Are on His "X Factor" Shortlist:

Nothing's more fun than speculating about SIMON COWELL'S "X Factor" judge search . . . less than a year after the MONTHS-long "Simon Successor Search" on "American Idol" last summer. --With all the talk about these things in the entertainment media, I'm surprised that we haven't yet seen a reality competition show in which the judges are selected for another reality competition show. This is where we're headed, America. --Regardless, here's the latest on "X Factor" . . . --Simon has confirmed that PAULA ABDUL and MARIAH CAREY are on his shortlist to join him on the judging panel. Other names on his list include NICOLE SCHERZINGER from the PUSSYCAT DOLLS and GEORGE MICHAEL. (--It's unclear if there's a "trainwreck" position that both George and Paula are vying for . . . or if it's possible that both could be hired. OR . . . maybe they could both be hired for the same seat in a sort of understudy situation . . .) (--Before each show, the producers could identify which one is the LEAST mentally competent to be put on TV . . . and then, naturally, put them on TV.) --Here's what Simon had to say about Paula: Quote, "I've spoken to Paula . . . we've taken it down to a smaller group of [candidates] and she is in that group. But you know, it's more than me who makes the decision." (--Earlier this week, a "show insider" said JESSICA SIMPSON was one of the "frontrunners" to get a judging spot on "X Factor".) (--It still seems like it'll be several weeks before the "X Factor" judges are announced, but it sure seems like Simon is trying to sign some big names to trump "American Idol's" new judges, STEVEN TYLER and JENNIFER LOPEZ.)

Simon Cowell Took a Little Shot at Steven Tyler on "The Tonight Show":

For those of you who have given up on "The Tonight Show" . . . which is understandable . . . SIMON COWELL was on Wednesday night . . . and he took a little shot at STEVEN TYLER. --He said his 86-year-old mother still watches "American Idol" . . . and she recently told him, quote, "Tell Jennifer, the new girl, I like her. Give my love to Randy. And, true story, tell Paula she looks a bit tired." (--Here's video. It starts 30 seconds in.)

This Year's "American Idol" Finalists:

Last night, "American Idol" cut the Top 24 down to 13 finalists . . . 10 that were chosen by America, plus three "wild cards" that were chosen by the judges. (--They gave six contestants the chance to "sing for their lives" . . . and picked three.)

--Here's the list:

--Lauren Alaina

--Casey Abrams

--Paul McDonald

--Pia Toscano

--Scotty McCreery

--Jacob Lusk

--Karen Rodriguez

--James Durbin

--Thia Megia

--Haley Reinhart

--The judges' additions were: Ashton Jones, Stefano Langone and Naima Adedapo. (--The other three who were offered the chance to "sing for their lives" and lost were: Kendra Chantelle, Jovany Barreto and Robbie Rosen.)

A David Cook Cover of an '80s Song Will Be This Year's "American Idol" Farewell Song:

Back in 2005, "American Idol" pretty much made DANIEL POWTER a star by playing his insufferable song "Bad Day" every time a contestant got kicked off the show. -This season, they're going to give former winner DAVID COOK that boost . . . by using his new cover of the '80s classic "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by SIMPLE MINDS. --The original is probably best known as the theme from the movie "The Breakfast Club". (--Listen to David's version, here . . . and Simple Minds' original version, here.) -The song will make its debut on "Idol" next week, and will be available on iTunes beginning next Tuesday. (--You can also get it for FREE if you pre-order David's new album at

Elizabeth Hurley Has Joined "Wonder Woman" . . . and Her Scenes May Feature Lesbian Undertones!

ELIZABETH HURLEY says she will play, quote, "the evil villain" in NBC's upcoming "Wonder Woman" show. --Not all the details have been released, but according to the original casting call, the villain will be Veronica Cale, and she'll be BI-CURIOUS! --Here's the early description of the character: "Female, open ethnicity, late 30s to early 40s . . . --"Beautiful, highly-educated, highly accomplished, she runs one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the country . . . but she's afflicted with the serious deep-seated Wonder Woman envy. --"Whatever she is, or will be in life . . . she'll never be her. And it causes her innards to rot. She loves men, but likes women. There might be an unstated chemistry between her and Wonder Woman, at least on her side."

Friday TV Reminders:

--"The Defenders" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Kathy Griffin plays an insult comic being sued for making fun of an overweight audience member.)

--"Who Do You Think You Are?" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Lionel Richie researches his maternal grandmother's family lineage.)

--"42nd NAACP Image Awards" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Hosted by Wayne Brady and Holly Robinson Peete.) (--Here are this year's nominees.)

--"Fish Hooks" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Disney Channel. (--"Star Trek's" George Takei lends his voice talents as a sensei bird who teaches teen fish Milo how to fly.)

--"Primetime: What Would You Do?" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Scenarios include disapproval of an interracial adoption.)

--"Beast Hunter" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on National Geographic. (--A wildlife scientist named Pat Spain explores remote parts of the world in the hopes of spotting mythical and undocumented creatures.)

--"20/20" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Carmina Salcido discusses the night her father massacred their family, slashed her throat and left her for dead.)

--"Comedy Central Presents: Mike Vecchione" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--Comedian Mike Vecchione performs.)

--"Comedy Central Presents: Jessi Klein" . . . 11:30 P.M. to Midnight on Comedy Central. (--Comedienne Jessi Klein performs.)

--"VH1 Unplugged" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on VH1. (--Adele performs.)

Saturday TV Reminders:

--"Caroline Rhea & Friends" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Showtime. (--Caroline Rhea presents up-and-coming stand-up comedians Costaki Economopoulos, Ryan Hamilton, Page Hurwitz and Liam McEneaney.)

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Miley Cyrus guest hosts and The Strokes is the musical guest.)

Sunday TV Reminders:

--"America's Next Great Restaurant" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Culinary investors Bobby Flay, Curtis Stone, Steve Ells and Lorena Garcia have 21 aspiring restaurateurs pitch their concepts and prepare an item from their menus in this competition to win a restaurant chain.)

--"Basketball Wives" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on VH1.

--"The Family Crews" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on BET.

--"Ruby" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Style.

--"Secret Millionaire" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Marketing expert Dani Johnson performs minimum-wage level work in Knoxville, Tennessee to find a deserving recipient worthy of her aid.)

--"Undercover Boss" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory goes undercover as a municipal employee and sanitation worker.)

--"Celebrity Apprentice" [11th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. (--This season's men are Meat Loaf, Lil Jon, Mark McGrath, David Cassidy, Gary Busey, Jose Canseco, Richard Hatch and country singer John Rich.) (--And the women are La Toya Jackson, Dionne Warwick, Star Jones, Lisa Rinna, Marlee Matlin, "Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Nene Leakes, model Niki Taylor, and Playmate Hope Dworaczyk.)

--"Army Wives" [5th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Lifetime.

--"Love & Hip Hop" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1. (--A reality series about the lives of five women involved in the hip-hop industry.)

--"The Real Housewives of Orange County" [6th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo. (--Brazilian lesbian fitness instructor Fernanda Rocha joins the cast.) (--Check out five pictures of her amazing bikini body here.)

--"Breakout Kings" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on A&E. (--Two U.S. marshals work together with three cons to catch escaped prisoners.)

--"Taking On Tyson" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Animal Planet. (--Mike Tyson shares his passion for pigeon racing.)

--"After Lately" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on E! (--A look behind the scenes of "Chelsea Lately" with the show's staff.)
Mariah Carey Is "Embarrassed" She Accepted Money from Gaddafi, but She's Not Making a Token Donation to Charity to Clear Her Conscience:

MARIAH CAREY has joined NELLY FURTADO and BEYONCÉ in apologizing for accepting $1 million to perform for the family of Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi. --Mariah said, quote, "I was naive, and unaware of who I was booked to perform for. I feel horrible and embarrassed to have participated in this mess." --"Going forward, this is a lesson for all artists to learn from. We need to be more aware and take more responsibility regardless of who book our shows. Ultimately we as artists are to be held accountable." --Nelly and Beyoncé have donated their Gaddafi money to charity . . . so is Mariah going to do the same thing? Uh, not quite. --Mariah's rep says, quote, "Mariah has and continues to donate time, money and countless hours of personal service both here and abroad." --She's also recording a new song called "Save the Day", and will donate the proceeds to charities that raise awareness about human rights issues. (--But she stopped short of saying she'd donate the fee she got from the Gaddafis. Then again, all these celebrities probably do give away tons of money every year.)

Eric Clapton Does His Own Laundry:

There are a lot of popular musicians far less talented and nowhere near as wealthy as ERIC CLAPTON who don't do their own laundry. --But Eric does. And he does it at public, coin-operated laundromats. -For real . . . although he may never do it again. A TMZ photographer caught Eric at a Laundromat in L.A., and obnoxiously filmed and shouted at him, to the point where Eric may reconsider displaying this sort of mortality again. (--Here's the video . . . Eric couldn't look more THRILLED about this, could he?)

Sammy Hagar Says Van Halen's Next Record "Better Be (Effing) Good":

VAN HALEN is supposedly working on an album with DAVID LEE ROTH right now, although the whole thing . . . if it IS happening . . . has been kept under wraps. --Well, former singer SAMMY HAGAR says he has high expectations for the album, since this would be the first Van Halen album since "3" . . . the disappointing slab of garbage they puked out with GARY CHERONE on vocals. (--It's been 27 years since the last Van Halen album with David Lee Roth, "1984".) --Sammy tells "Rolling Stone", quote, "If they do make a record, it better be (effing) good. We've waited a long time . . . do not make a mediocre record, folks. --"Because if you do, not only am I gonna be on your (butt), but everybody else is too, because it's been a long time, you've had time to put together something great." --But Sammy is doubtful that there really is a record on its way. --He explains, quote, "I don't have a lot of faith in those guys' work ethic. It just seems like they've had every opportunity in the world to make a record . . . why wouldn't they make a record in all that time? Something's really wrong." --Still, Sammy believes we need a new Van Halen record . . . quote, "As great a musician as EDDIE [VAN HALEN] is, he really needs to be more prolific because we need more great music out there. There's a lot of bad music out there. --"We need guys like Eddie Van Halen."

A New Britney Spears Track Has Leaked Online:

A new BRITNEY SPEARS song called "'Till the World Ends" has leaked online. Britney confirmed the leak on Twitter saying, quote, "looks like the cat's out of the bag." --The song was actually written by KE$HA . . . just to give you an idea of the level of awesome we're reaching here. (--You can listen to the song, here. Scroll down to the audio player.) --It'll be on Britney's new album "Femme Fatale", which comes out March 29th.

Lil Wayne's "6 Foot 7" Video:

LIL WAYNE dropped the video for "6 Foot 7" on yesterday morning. -It has its moments, but for the most part, it seems all over the place. MTV says it seems to be inspired by the movie "Inception", because of its dreamlike sequences, but I didn't get that impression. --If nothing else, it's amusing how literally the visuals link up with some of the more playful lyrics. (--You can check it out, here. Note: The song is CENSORED.) --By the way, three young girls . . . ages five, nine and 10 . . . have released a rap music video, which calls out Wayne for his lyrics that they say are profane and violent . . . and disrespectful to women. (--You can check it out, here.)

Romeo Did "Dancing with the Stars" to Promote Education:

KIRSTIE ALLEY is doing "Dancing with the Stars" in the hopes of losing weight . . . but ROMEO has a completely different objective. He's using it as a platform to promote the importance of getting a good education. --Romeo says, quote, "This is a great opportunity for me to get the message out that we have to save our children, it is not okay that we have this happening in America. Without an education, your choices are limited."


ZSA ZSA GABOR already lost most of her right leg. But yesterday, she REFUSED to have her left leg amputated. She'll be released from the hospital today. (Full Story)

WILLIAM SHATNER is recording an album of rock and metal covers with such guest stars as Queen guitarist Brian May, Ozzy guitarist Zakk Wylde, Yes guitarist Steve Howe, Deep Purple drummer Ian Paice and Peter Frampton. (Full Story)

This might be a poor choice of words: MARK RUFFALO said he's working out to prepare for his role as the Hulk in the "Avengers" movie. But here's how he said it . . . quote, "Oh baby, I'm getting hard!" (???) (Full Story)

JULIANNE HOUGH is joining TOM CRUISE in the movie version of the Broadway musical "Rock of Ages". (Full Story)

JOHN TRAVOLTA has agreed to take part in a "Welcome Back, Kotter" cast reunion at the TV Land Awards on April 10th. Sadly, GABE KAPLAN, who played Mr. Kotter, hasn't agreed to attend yet. (Full Story)

If you'd like to see ANGELINA from "Jersey Shore" get beat-down by female professional wrestler VELVET SKY . . . today is your lucky day. It aired on "TNA Impact!" last night. (Video) (--Note: It includes the words "slut" and "skank.")

JON GOSSELIN is living the low-key life these days. He makes $35-an-hour laying solar panels. A typical night for him would be "eating cheap take-out and watching 'Jersey Shore'." (Full Story)

TRENT REZNOR of NINE INCH NAILS just won an Oscar for his "Social Network" score, and now he's landed another movie gig. Word has it he'll be scoring "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" . . . and he has cameo as a vampire who kills Abe's mother. (Full Story)

The Most Average Person In the World is Male, 28, Chinese, and Christian:

"National Geographic" just finished a global statistics project where they figured out what characteristics would make up the most average person in the world. And here's what that person would look like.

--It's a man, since there are more men than women worldwide.

--He's 28 years old.

--He speaks Mandarin Chinese. 13% of people speak Mandarin as their first language. Spanish and English tie for second place, at 5% each.

--He lives in China. 19% of the people in the world are Chinese. 17% are Indian and 4% are American.

--He's Christian. 33% of the people in the world are Christian. 21% are Muslim, 13% are Hindu.

--He works in the service industry.

--And he lives in an urban area, but it's close. The world's population is divided up 51% urban, 49% rural. (National Geographic)

--They even put together a composite of what he looks like. And not surprisingly, it's basically an average-looking Chinese guy.
(--You can see it here.)

Visiting Your Facebook Profile Boosts Your Self-Esteem . . . But Looking at Your Friends' Profiles Stresses You Out:

And it's official. Academic types are now spending TOO MUCH TIME studying Facebook. --According to a new study from Cornell University, Facebook can either be great for your self-esteem, or it can stress you out . . . and the difference is in one click. --The researchers found that people who checked their OWN Facebook profile had a quick self-esteem boost. --They saw positive messages from friends on their wall and photos that brought back good memories . . . and felt good about themselves. --BUT . . . as soon as they clicked on someone else's profile, they started feeling more stressed out. --They felt overwhelmed by their number of friends and trying to keep up with people, and felt guilty about falling out of touch. --So, again, to summarize: Looking at your own profile is good for you, but as soon as you click on someone else, you start stressing out. Or something like that. (ZDNet)

When Parents Say Their Kids Make Them Happier Than Anything Else In the World . . . A Lot of Them Are Lying:

Every parent you talk to says their kids are the greatest thing that ever happened to them, bring them more joy than anything else in the world, make their lives complete, blah blah blah. --Yeah . . . they're lying. --According to a study out of the University of Waterloo in Canada, parents lie to convince themselves that their children bring them unlimited joy . . . so they can justify the time, the money, and the sacrifice it takes to raise their kids. --In the study, researchers found that most parents reported that having children led to them having to make career sacrifices . . . financial problems . . . and a decline in their satisfaction with their marriage. --But through it all, they insist that their children are THE key source of happiness in their lives. --And while that's definitely true for SOME parents . . . psychological evaluations revealed it's not true for a lot of others. They're not lying to convince YOU, they're lying to convince themselves. --The researchers found that the parents who show the most genuine happiness with their kids are the ones who were most mentally prepared for the financial cost of kids. --According to the latest studies, it costs an average of $190,000 to raise a kid for 18 years. Parents who knew that going in were less shocked about their kids' impact on their lives and ended up legitimately happier in their roles as parents. (Science Daily)

A Professor at Northwestern University Is Under Fire for Having a Nude Woman Demonstrate a Love Toy and Climax for His Students:

Now THIS is how you make sure you're the most popular professor on campus. And possibly the most popular professor in the history of college. --John Michael Bailey is a psychology professor at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. He teaches a popular class called Human Sexuality. Sometimes after class, he holds optional sessions to expand on certain topics. --Last Monday he held an after-class session that expanded on a topic a bit TOO much. Bailey had a woman who wasn't a student come to the classroom . . . GET NAKED . . . demonstrate a motorized sex toy called the [Eff]saw . . . and reach her climax in front of about 120 students. --Once word about this got out, as expected, people LOST THEIR MINDS. --Bailey is vehemently defending the session. He says that teaching different arousal techniques has academic value. Plus, the after-class sessions are optional, they're not tested, and students were warned before the demonstration started. --And, to Northwestern's credit . . . they backed Bailey. The dean of students issued a statement this week saying, quote, "the event falls within the broad range of academic freedoms, whether one approves or disapproves." --But now that this is becoming a national news story, the president of Northwestern says he's investigating. (Daily Northwestern)

Brigham Young University Suspended a Star Basketball Player . . . Because He Had Sex with His Girlfriend:

Brigham Young University in Utah is the Mormon university, and they have a VERY strict honor code. Students can't drink alcohol or coffee, they're expected to attend religious services, they can't swear, and they can't have premarital sex. --Right now, BYU is also experiencing an AMAZING basketball season . . . the team is 27 and 2, and ranked third in the entire country this week. --But the honor code and the basketball success collided this week. And the winner was . . . the honor code. --BYU suspended 19-year-old Brandon Davies . . . one of their star players . . . for the rest of the season. And it's all because he broke the honor code, and admitted he had premarital sex with his girlfriend. For what it's worth, Davies IS a Mormon. --On Wednesday night, after Davies was suspended, BYU lost 82-to-64 to the University of New Mexico. It was easily their worst loss of the season. (ESPN)

Nine Out of Ten People Have Happy Memories of Their First Car:

Do you remember your first car? And when I ask the question, does a picture of it instantly appear in your head . . . and start you on a wistful, romantic flashback? Possibly with "Low Rider" by WAR playing as the soundtrack?
--According to a new survey commissioned by Castrol, almost EVERYONE has happy memories of their first car. --Half of the people surveyed say they had a, quote, "love affair" with their first car and they'll never forget it. Another 40% say they remember their first car fondly. That means only 10% of people don't have happy first-car memories

--25% of people say they gave their first car a NAME.

--10% of people say that even though their car would be a total heap by modern standards, they'd DEFINITELY buy it back if they had the chance.

--62% of people say that their first car was six years old or more when they bought it used or got it passed down from a parent or sibling. The average person kept their first car for three years.

--57% of people say they bought their first car themselves. Men were more likely than women to buy their first car. (The Telegraph)

Mazda Has Recalled 65,000 Cars . . . Because Spiders Keep Building Webs Inside Their Fuel Lines:

Yesterday, Mazda announced that it's recalling 52,000 Mazda 6 sedans in the U.S., and 13,000 in Puerto Rico, Canada, and Mexico. And the reason is AMAZING. --For some reason, spiders won't stop building webs inside the Mazda 6 fuel system. The webs have already caused the fuel tanks of 20 cars to leak, and could cause a whole lot more. --They're called Yellow Sac spiders, and they've been building their webs in the evaporative canister vent line. That can mess up the car's emission controls, which can lead to the fuel tank cracking. --Yellow Sac spiders are almost exclusively in North America. --As for WHY the Yellow Sac spiders gravitate toward Mazda 6's . . . no one has any idea. The spiders don't like the cold, and apparently the Mazda fuel system provides them the exact kind of environment they like. --If you own a four-cylinder 2009 or 2010 Mazda 6, it's probably part of the recall. Mazda is telling people to take it to a dealer, who can inspect the canister and see if spiders have been spinning webs inside. --If so, they can clear them out. And they'll also install a spring that keeps spiders from being able to get inside. And all of it's free of charge. (Wall Street Journal)

Everybody Panic! Scientists Say There Could Be a Mass Extinction As Soon As . . . 300 Years From Now:

According to a study out of the University of California, Berkeley, there could be a MASS EXTINCTION on this planet in just a few centuries. So . . . um . . . start stocking canned goods and putting together a militia? --In the Earth's 540 million years, there have been five mass extinctions. They wipe out an average of 76% of all life on the planet. The last one was 65 million years ago and took out the dinosaurs. --The researchers at Berkeley say that the next mass extinction could happen as soon as 300 years from now. But it could also be up to 2,200 years from now. --And, they say the extinction has ALREADY STARTED. This one is a direct result of human behavior . . . spreading disease, killing species, and changing the climate. --In the past 500 years, approximately 80 species of mammals have gone extinct. The previous rate was two species every one MILLION years . . . so clearly we've really sped up the extinction process. --Anthony Barnosky is the professor who led the study. He says the good news here is another mass extinction COULD still be avoided. --Quote, "So far, only 1% to 2% of all species have gone extinct . . . so, by those numbers, it looks like we are not far down the road to extinction. --"It's important we devote resources toward species conservation if we don't want to be the species whose activity caused a mass extinction." (Daily Mail)

One Out of Four People Say They've Seen a Ghost:

Either the world's getting more haunted or people are more bored and delusional than ever. --According to a new survey, 25% of people say they've seen a GHOST. --In a similar survey in the 1950s, only 7% of people said they'd ever had an encounter with a ghost. That was up to 14% in the 1990s and 19% in 2003. --A professor at the University of Hertfordshire in England thinks the rise to 25% might be because of more paranormal and supernatural themes in TV shows and movies . . . more ghost stories make more people believe in ghosts. (Press Association)


A Man Is Arrested for Battery After Folding His Ex-Girlfriend's Mother Into a Fold-Out Couch:

This is definitely one of the stranger ways you can get yourself locked up for battery. --On Tuesday night, 53-year-old Mark Foreman of Palmetto, Florida showed up at the home of his ex-girlfriend's mother, who's 66 years old. (--We don't know the age of Mark's ex, but if he's 53 and the mother is 66, she's probably much younger.) -Mark asked to use the bathroom, and the woman said no. --She was lying on the bed that folds out of her couch at the time. And Mark attacked her . . . and then FOLDED HER and the bed back into the couch, where she was trapped. --Someone called the cops . . . the police report doesn't say who . . . and they came to the scene. --They rescued the woman from inside the couch and sent her to the hospital, where she was treated for injuries to her right wrist and her back. --Mark was arrested for battery on a person over 65. (The Smoking Gun)

In Ohio, a Cop Asked a Driver If He'd Been Drinking . . . And the Driver Responded By Taking a Swig of Beer:

On Wednesday, just after 2:00 A.M., a police officer pulled over a driver who was speeding and swerving in an Ohio town called Elyria (--Eh leer ee yuh). --The driver was 25-year-old Stephen Supers, and the cop asked him if he'd been drinking. --Stephen responded by reaching down . . . picking up an open beer can . . . taking a drink . . . and saying, "Yes." --He was placed under arrest. The cop also searched his car and found marijuana and a CRACK PIPE. --While Stephen was in the confessing mood, he also told the cop he was driving with a suspended license. --Stephen was charged with a DUI, driving under suspension, possession of marijuana, and possession of a drug abuse instrument. (Cleveland Plain Dealer)

A Man Gets Caught Shoplifting Bras . . . To Give To His Girlfriend As a Present When She Gets Out of Jail:

Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, but dammit if this isn't one of the sweetest, most heartwarming crimes I've ever heard of. --29-year-old Johnnie L. Brown of Ocala, Florida has been with his girlfriend for three years. Later this month, she's set to be released from jail. There's no word on how long she was in for, or why she was locked up. --Anyway, Johnnie wanted to do something nice for her as a welcome-home gift. But he's low on money. --So on Tuesday, he went to Walmart . . . to steal some bras. --Johnnie is missing one of his feet . . . it was amputated, but we're not sure why. So he rode his motorized wheelchair through the Walmart to steal the bras. He snatched two . . . a $7 red bra and a $13 zebra-striped bra . . . and shoved them down his pants. --Walmart security spotted him and called the police. He was arrested for retail theft. --When he was arrested, he had $350 in his pocket . . . but he told the cops that was his rent money. Quote, "I messed up, but I ain't sorry about it. Times are rough, and sometimes you've got to take chances." (Ocala Star Banner)

A Thief Manages To Steal $238,000 By Climbing Through an Airplane Toilet Into the Cargo Hold:

This is actually kind of a GENIUS crime. And gross. Don't forget gross. A man stole almost a quarter of a million dollars from a plane's cargo hold . . . by climbing through the toilet and sewage system. Here's how it went down. --The thief was on an Air Antilles plane headed from the Caribbean island of Guadeloupe to the island of St. Martin. --A Brink's employee loaded three sacks of cash, totaling about $1.7 MILLION, into the cargo hold. And the thief MUST'VE known about the cash. --Because he said he was sick, and spent most of the flight in the bathroom. In reality, he was removing wall and floor panels so he could crawl through the toilet and sewage system down into the cargo hold. --He went into the cargo hold, stole $238,000 from the sacks of money, then crawled back up through the sewage and put the bathroom back together.--He asked a flight attendant if an ambulance could meet him when the plane landed, because he felt so sick. --When the plane landed he was escorted off and over to the ambulance . . . which let him avoid ALL of the normal security checks. Then he said he suddenly felt better and walked off. --The police are still trying to track him down. (AFP)

A Man Is Arrested at Walmart For Shoving a Rotisserie Chicken Down His Pants:

It's Friday, and we're going to celebrate by . . . talking about a shoplifter jamming a rotisserie chicken down his pants. --On Tuesday, 27-year-old Joseph Stringer of Kingston, Georgia went to a Walmart and shoved the following things down his pants: Chicken wings, a mouth guard, two toothbrushes, and yes, a full rotisserie chicken. --Walmart security spotted him with his pants packed full, and called the police. He was arrested for misdemeanor shoplifting. (Rome News-Tribune)


An autistic woman had her four service monkeys taken by New Orleans authorities . . . because she was dressing them as pirates and charging people $2 to pose for pictures with them. But she claims it was just their Mardi Gras costume. (Full Story)

Check out a list of the craziest things people have tried to deduct on their income taxes, including candy and flowers for their secretaries, and a bodybuilder who claimed he needed to eat $4,000 worth of buffalo meat to build muscle. (Full Story)

A guy was arrested with crack hidden in a Krazy Glue container up his no-go hole. But a police dog smelled, quote, "the presence of narcotic odor coming from his rear." (Full Story)

A Facebook feud between two friends that started over a $20 loan to buy diapers has ended . . . in murder. (Full Story)

A priest arrested for DUI tried to get off . . . by bribing cops with sexual favors. (Full Story)

An opposing player tried to sell new Knicks star Carmelo Anthony his vacant NYC townhouse . . . during the game. (Full Story)

#1.) Here's a Snake Biting a Trashy Bleach-Blonde Model On One of Her Giant Fake Cans. Happy Friday!

Being a trashy, white, bleach-blonde hooker-slash-model in the Arab world comes with a few work hazards . . . such as being female in the Arab world. And now we can add "getting your breast bitten by a snake" to that list. --There's a new video online where a skanky blonde is trying to get all seductive while she's holding a snake, and the thing latches on to one of her giant, fake cans. We're not sure where it takes place, or if the 'she' is really a 'he', but it's awesome. (--WARNING: The best part is when the guy filming yells, "Ah! It hassa the titty!" Search for "Model Gets Boob Bitten by Snake")

#2.) An Angry Mom Walked Onto Her Daughter's School Bus and Smacked a Kid in the Face:

A 27-year-old woman in Florida walked onto her daughter's school bus, and smacked another kid in the face for supposedly bullying her daughter. --She was charged with assault and child abuse, and was already on probation for driving with a suspended license. You can watch the video of the bully getting smacked on YouTube . . . where you'll notice that the mom has two SWEET facial piercings. (--Search for "Angry Mom Slaps Kid on School Bus." She backhands him at :21.) (--WARNING: This video includes the F-word.)

#3.) Check Out a Crew in Russia Causing a Controlled Avalanche by Firing a Mortar at the Side of a Mountain:

To prevent big avalanches, sometimes officials intentionally trigger smaller avalanches to get rid of the snow. And there's new footage on YouTube of a crew doing it in Russia, but the "small" avalanche they create isn't very small. --It didn't quite reach the people who were filming from the bottom of the mountain, but it got close. And by the end of the video, the entire sky is filled with snow. --They triggered it using what looks like a military mortar. You can't tell if they actually fired a shell at the mountain, or if the avalanche was just triggered by the sound. But it's Russia, so it's more fun to assume they were using live ammo. (--Search for "Avalanche on Cheget 2011" They fire the mortar at :11, and you can see the avalanche start at :34. The avalanche passes the tree line around 1:30.)

Here are the Six Most Annoying Travel Fees . . . And How to Avoid Them:

If you're flying somewhere this weekend, "Travel and Leisure" has a new list of the most annoying travel fees to look out for. Here are the top six:

#1.) Checked Baggage Fees. Obviously, most airlines now charge twenty to thirty bucks for each bag you check on a domestic flight. --You can avoid it by carrying on, or fly Southwest or JetBlue next time. Southwest lets you check two bags for free, and JetBlue lets you check one. --And be careful if you fly Spirit Airlines, because they charge for checked bags AND carry-ons, unless your carry-on fits under the seat in front of you.

#2.) Hotel Room Wi-Fi. "Travel and Leisure" says that hotels charge an average of $24 a day to have wireless Internet in your room. But a lot of the same hotels offer it for free in the lobby. --And if you travel a lot, it might be cheaper to sign up for a wireless card with your cell phone company. Or, some smartphones can plug into your computer and act as a modem. It's called 'tethering.' --Another option is to sign up for the hotel's customer loyalty program. Big hotel chains like Fairmont and Hyatt offer members all kinds of perks, including free in-room Wi-Fi.

#3.) Priority Boarding. First class passengers always board before coach, but for a small fee between $8 and $20, some airlines let coach passengers board too. --But it's basically pointless, because the only real perk is you get first access to the overhead bins. And if you DON'T pay for priority boarding, the worst thing that can happen is your carry-on gets checked.

#4.) Being Charged More for a Better Seat in Coach. Most airlines give you 31 or 32 inches of legroom. But a handful of seats have a few more inches . . . and airlines charge between fifty and 100 dollars extra for them. --Delta's new seats offer four more inches of legroom and cost $160 extra each way. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it if you need the extra legroom. --Either pay for it, or check the website to look for an airline that offers a few more inches for free.

#5.) Buying Insurance for Your Rental Car. If you already have car insurance, you probably don't need it. And if you use a credit card, that might cover it too. --The one time you DEFINITELY need to pay for insurance is when you're traveling abroad. Regular car insurance usually doesn't cover you when you're outside the U.S. and Canada.

#6.) In-Flight Charges. A lot of airlines charge $8 for a pillow and blanket, and between one to five dollars for headphones. The easiest solution is to bring your own. They'll be more comfortable anyway. (Travel & Leisure)

Four Unconventional Ways To Score a Second Date:

It's one thing to land a first date, but it's a totally different ballgame to lock up date number two. To help you out, we've got four unconventional things you can do on the FIRST date . . . to guarantee there's a second.

#1.) Borrow Something. Ask to borrow something during the date . . . a sweatshirt, a baseball hat, a pen, anything. Then "forget" to give it back. That way, you've already got an excuse to see each other again.

#2.) Follow Up. Email them the next day to let them know you had a great time. And don't do it with a text. It shows good manners, it opens the line of communication, you can write more than a text, and it hints that you're up for a second date.

#3.) Call It a Night. When in doubt, err on the side of caution and end the first date earlier rather than later. That way, you leave them wanting more.

#4.) Offer To Get the Next One. This won't really work if you're a guy, but ladies, if you want a second date, let him pay and then offer to get the next one. He'll appreciate the offer AND it shows you're interested in seeing him again. (Happen Magazine)


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