HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (04-11-11)

Karina Smirnoff Didn't Get In Trouble with Her Bosses for Posing Nude in "Playboy": "Dancing with the Stars" minx KARINA SMIRNOFF appears NUDE in the May issue of "Playboy". But contrary to recent rumors, it did NOT get her in trouble with her bosses. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "They did know ahead of time and they still gave her one of the best pairings." --Karina's partner is RALPH MACCHIO . . . who has racked up more points so far this season than any other contestant. --Meanwhile, Karina explains in the new issue why she decided to pose . . . quote, "I'm fearless and love the adrenaline rush . . . Sexy is the confident energy a person produces. Sexy is the comfortable feeling of being who you are." --Karina is the first DANCER from the show to do "Playboy" . . . but several contestants have also stripped down for the magazine. --They include Pamela Anderson, Lisa Rinna, Denise Richards . . . and, of course, Kendra Wilkinson and Holly Madison . . . who only became "stars" in the first place BECAUSE they were in "Playboy". (--For the record, all of these ladies made their first "Playboy" appearances BEFORE doing "Dancing with the Stars".) Charlie Sheen Bombed Friday Night At Radio City Music Hall . . . Then Did Okay Again In Connecticut on Saturday . . . Then Kicked Butt Back In New York Last Night: Either CHARLIE SHEEN'S live shows are wildly inconsistent, or his audiences are. --Because Charlie laid another egg on Friday night at New York's Radio City Music Hall . . . inspiring more jeering, booing and walking out on the part of the audience. But there was very little of that at his show Saturday night in Connecticut. --Then he absolutely KILLED IT at his second Radio City show last night. --Charlie's Friday night gig included his version of last year's events at the Plaza Hotel in New York. --He said, quote, "I'm still paying for that one. This gorgeous yet overpaid [woman] . . . followed me up to my room. Maybe I invited her but it's my (effin') story. Next thing I know, I'm naked taking Ambien and attacking the cops. Ambien, the devil's aspirin. --"Next thing I know, she locked herself in the bathroom with my watch and my wallet. Did I throw a chair at the door? Yes. I just wanted my $375,000 watch back." --Charlie also invited his "Two and a Half Men" boss CHUCK LORRE to attend last night's show at Radio City. And said he wants his job back. --He said, quote, "I didn't quit. I didn't breach my contract . . . I gave you guys almost a decade of bitchen entertainment and they fired me. I was having too much fun. --"What did they expect [when they paid me that much]? Of course I want my job back." --He also took a shot at OLIVER STONE . . . who directed him in "Platoon" and "Wall Street". He said, quote, "I'll buy an Academy Award from Oliver Stone 'cause he's now broke. His movies now suck! Anyone seen 'Wall Street 2'?" --And he revealed that his use of the word "goddess" was inspired by NICOLAS CAGE . . . who once referred to a stewardess on a flight they shared as a, quote, "(effing) goddess." --Charlie ended the show about 30 minutes early, telling the audience, quote, "You're the best audience in the world . . . most of you. I love you New York. Good night. Thank you." (--Here's video of Charlie signing off amid a chorus of boos. And here's video of people reacting on their way out of the theater. WARNING!!! This one contains a lot of FOUL LANGUAGE.) --Nobody booed Charlie in Connecticut on Saturday. He did start losing fans about 30 minutes in . . . but then he won over those who stayed. In fact, the audience was chanting "(Eff) NYC" as they left the theater. --Charlie even called it his best show so far. --Last night was Charlie's second New York City show, and pretty much all the reports we've gotten so far say Charlie brought the house down. He was much livelier, he interacted with the crowd more and they were more receptive to him. --He even kind of apologized for the previous show, saying, quote, "I don't even think I was here Friday night." -Later on, he added, quote, "Friday night got a little (effing) hijacked because I let people get into my magic (effing) brain." (--I assume he was talking about the heckling . . . which didn't happen last night.) --Charlie even pulled two celebrities from the audience up on the stage: New York baseball legend DARRYL STRAWBERRY and "Inside the Actors Studio" host JAMES LIPTON. --Lipton asked Charlie what his favorite curse word is. He said either the F-bomb or . . . DENISE. (--Here's video of Charlie up in the balcony during last night's show.) Charlie Sheen Tried to Post a "No Heckling" Sign At His Shows: CHARLIE SHEEN thought he had figured out how to stop his audience members from insulting him. It didn't work . . . and it's pretty obvious why. --Beginning Friday night at Radio City Music Hall in New York, Charlie had a "No Heckling" sign in the lobby. --Obviously, NOBODY took it seriously. In fact, given the reaction Charlie got that night, it's possible the sign made people harass him MORE. --One reviewer noted that people, quote, "read the sign, pointed at the sign, laughed at the sign, posed for pictures with the sign, and then, promptly, ignored the sign. After all they were there to see Charlie Sheen." (--Check out a picture of the sign here.) --When Charlie performed at Radio City again last night, the sign was nowhere to be found. (--Remember, Charlie . . . the best way to not be heckled is NOT TO SUCK.) (--One more quick note on Charlie. Somebody put a 400-pound TOMBSTONE next to Charlie's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The inscription reads, "Cheat Death". Check it out here.) IT'S ON!!! Between Betty White and Lindsay Lohan: At 89 years of age, BETTY WHITE really has nothing to lose by speaking her mind. And because of that, IT'S ON between Betty and LINDSAY LOHAN!!! --In an interview with one of the not-always-reliable British tabloids, Betty went off on certain celebrities for being unprofessional and ungrateful. --She said, quote, "They party too much, don't learn their lines, are unprofessional and they grumble about everything. --"I think they are terribly ungrateful. I cannot stand the people who get wonderful starts in show business, and who abuse it. -"Lindsay Lohan and CHARLIE SHEEN, for example, although there are plenty of others, too. They are the most blessed people in the world and they don't appreciate it." --No response yet from Charlie, but here's what Lindsay had to say . . . quote, "Wow. I've always been a fan of hers. It's just a bit strange when people feel they must speak publicly about others. Especially a grown woman." (--Okay, this one is pretty one-sided. I doubt that I even have to ask whose side 99% of you are on.) (--But at the same time, I know there are a few of you out there on Team Lindsay. You're the ones I want to hear from. Call us now and plead her case.) Robert Pattinson Fantasizes About Someday Beating the Crap Out of the Paparazzi: One of ROBERT PATTINSON'S favorite fantasies is to someday be able to beat the snot out of the paparazzi. --He says, quote, "When the whole thing dries up and there's hardly any paparazzi around . . . I don't know, in 15 years or something . . . I like the idea of just one paparazzo coming out and trying to get a picture, and I just beat the (crap) out of him. --"I mean, out of nowhere, when my picture's not even worth [money], and I've spent all my money, so you can't sue me!" --Rob adds that he ticked off a bunch of photographers in Venice Beach recently. --He says, quote, "[They] were following me, and I thought the best way to deal with it was to stop my car in the middle of the street and say, 'I'm not leaving, and I'm not going to speak to you anymore.' --"They got all pissed off because they can't just keep taking the same picture. [But] they kept trying to get all these drug dealers to come up to the car. I was like, 'Oh my God, this is insane.'" Director Sidney Lumet Has Died: Director SIDNEY LUMET died Saturday of lymphoma. He was 86. --Sidney's films include "12 Angry Men" (1957) . . . "Serpico" (1973), "Dog Day Afternoon" (1975), "Network" (1976) and "The Verdict" (1982). --His last movie was the 2007 drama "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead", starring PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN, MARISA TOMEI and ETHAN HAWKE. --Lumet earned four Oscar nominations, but never won. The Academy gave him a Lifetime Achievement Oscar in 2005. After he got it, he told the "New York Times", quote, "I wanted one, damn it, and I felt I deserved one." And Here's the 911 Call From the Altercation Between LeBron James' Mother and that Miami Parking Valet: The 911 call from that incident between LEBRON JAMES' mother Gloria and a parking valet last week has hit the Internet. --It's not the most exciting 911 call you'll hear this month. The security dispatcher from the Fountainbleu Hotel in Miami tells the operator, quote, "It's a battery. A valet parking runner was struck by a patron. It was a case of battery." --The guy doesn't really know what he's talking about, though, because he says he believes the incident involved TWO MALES. (--You can listen to the call here.) --Meanwhile, a local TV station released surveillance video of Gloria James at the Miami Beach Police Department after her arrest. There's no sound, but you can tell she's yelling at the cops. (--You can watch the clip here.) --One last note: The valet Gloria slapped has taken an extended leave of absence from his job, and he's been telling people that he's, quote, "very depressed" over the incident. --Oh, and he's meeting with his lawyer today to discuss his legal options. (--Here's today's HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD TO FIND: A person in Cleveland who did NOT speak the word "Karma" over the weekend.) Allen Iverson Yelled At a Cop for 20 Minutes . . . After Getting Pulled Over for Having Expired License Plates: Former NBA stud ALLEN IVERSON got pulled over in Atlanta last week because he had expired plates on his Lamborghini. The car was impounded . . . prompting Iverson to go off on the cop for a good 20 MINUTES. --According to a newly-released police report, Iverson shouted quote, "Take the vehicle, I have 10 more. Police don't have anything else (effing) to do except (eff) with me." --He also told the cop, quote, "Do you know who I am? I make more money than you will in 10 years." --To his credit, though, the report says Iverson came back later and, quote, "apologized for disrespecting the police." The Pro Rassler Formerly Known As Razor Ramon Is In the Hospital After Suffering Some Kind of Medical Issue At a Show: Everybody remembers WWE superstar RAZOR RAMON, right? As you fans will recall, he bolted for the competition, WCW, in the mid-'90s, where he started using his real name, SCOTT HALL. --Long story short, it's been all downhill from there. The guy's had major substance abuse problems for years now, and he's in really bad shape these days. --Over the weekend, Scott attended some small-time rasslin' show in Massachusetts . . . where he needed two guys to walk him to the ring and help him get through the ropes. --Once he got into the ring, he mumbled unintelligibly for a while, then left. (--You can watch the video here.) --The official word is that Scott was having, quote, "cardiac issues". --His rep also says that his doctors think the 10 PRESCRIPTION MEDICATIONS he's on might have reacted poorly with each other . . . causing a deterioration in speech and motor skills. (--Razor (slash) Scott is only 52 years old, but it looks like he might be the next in a long line of wrestlers to die way too young. And it's a tragedy, because he was one of the best.) (--His ladder match with SHAWN MICHAELS at "Wrestlemania 10" is still LEGENDARY. Check out some highlights here.) (--And while we're on the subject, check out this list of wrestlers who've died before the age of 65. And keep in mind, this is just since 1985.) Liam Neeson's Cameo in "The Hangover Part 2" Has Been Scrapped: Remember when MEL GIBSON was supposed to shoot a cameo for "The Hangover Part 2" as a Bangkok tattoo artist . . . but members of the cast and crew raised such a stink that they replaced him with LIAM NEESON? --Well, it turns out that Liam Neeson isn't in the finished film, either. Neeson did film the scene, but for some reason, director Todd Phillips decided he needed to re-shoot it. By that time, Liam was busy filming the "Clash of the Titans" sequel. --So he re-shot it with NICK CASSAVETES as the tattoo artist. If that name doesn't ring a bell, Cassevetes directed "John Q", "Alpha Dog" and "The Notebook". --Phillips says, quote, "We were in a complete time crunch, so I called up Nick and asked if he would do the part. He came in and crushed it, and that is the scene that you will ultimately see in the film. It turned out great." --There's no word why the scene needed to be re-shot. "Hop" Made Another $21.7 Million This Weekend: NATALIE PORTMAN in a thong and RUSSELL BRAND as "Arthur" were no match for an animated rabbit. The Easter bunny movie "Hop" made another $21.7 million this weekend, making it the #1 movie for the second week in a row. --The other movies didn't even come close. "Arthur" made $12.6 million . . . the CIA assassin thriller "Hanna" made $12.3 million . . . the Bethany Hamilton biopic "Soul Surfer" made $11.1 million . . . and "Your Highness" tanked with just $9.5 million. 1.) "Hop", $21.7 million. Up to $68.2 million in its 2nd week. 2.) (NEW) "Arthur", $12.6 million. 3.) (NEW) "Hanna", $12.3 million. 4.) (NEW) "Soul Surfer", $11.1 million. Has Pia Toscano Already Scored a Record Deal? It's been less than four days since PIA TOSCANO'S shocking "American Idol" elimination . . . so you may still be struggling to cope. But meanwhile, Pia may be moving on to even bigger and better things. --There are reports online claiming that Pia has already landed a record deal with JIMMY IOVINE'S label, Interscope. --A so-called "insider" tells "Us" magazine, "After the show, Interscope told her they wanted her, and first thing [Friday] morning, Interscope brass started calling every top songwriter and producer in town to get an album together and rush release it. --"Papers are being finalized. It's basically a done deal. She's signing." --Pia's rep tells E! Online that this is, quote, "all rumor". --Regardless, E! believes it IS happening, and reports that Interscope wants to have Pia's single out before this season of "Idol" wraps. (--By the way, the "Hollywood Reporter" says that Pia's downfall on the show may have been due to . . . a horrible OUTFIT. So they put together a list of The 10 Worst "American Idol" Performance Outfits. You can browse that list, here.) (--You can see what Pia wore for what was to be her LAST performance here. And by the way . . . GWEN STEFANI styled all the girls that night. So if that outfit doomed Pia, it's all Gwen's fault.) Mark Ballas from "Dancing With the Stars" Went on a Date with Pia Toscano from "American Idol": A record deal isn't the only perk PIA TOSCANO received thanks to her early ouster from "American Idol". --She also enjoyed some HOT SEX FROM A VERY FIT MALE DANCER. (!!!) --Technically, we don't know that. But we do know that Pia went on a date Friday night with MARK BALLAS from "Dancing with the Stars". --Apparently, Pia has a crush on Mark . . . and pro rassler CHRIS JERICHO . . . who's on "Dancing" this season . . . set them up. --They had dinner at the Gulfstream restaurant in Century City, California. Sources say it went well and they're already planning their second date. (--Mark's partner this season is CHELSEA KANE . . . who's still suckling off the Disney teat. She was on "Jonas", and now she does a voice on the animated show "Fish Hooks".) (--Chelsea is reportedly dating Stephen Colletti . . . who used to be on MTV's "Laguna Beach".) The Cast of "Jersey Shore" Just Landed a Huge Pay Raise: The cast of "Jersey Shore" is about to get richer . . . a lot richer. --According to "Entertainment Weekly", MTV has agreed to pay the, quote, "core group" at least $100,000 per episode for Season Four. That's roughly $1.3 million for the season. --It's unclear who fits into the "core group," but we assume that's at least Snooki, Pauly D, The Situation and JWoww. --The main cast got about $25,000 per episode for Season Three, which was up from the $5,000 to $10,000 an episode they were paid for the second season. --Filming on Season Four will begin in May, and the season will premiere later this year.--There was some talk that contract negotiations delayed production, which was supposed to begin this week . . . but we also heard that the producers needed extra time to get shooting permits for Italian locations. --By the way . . . a "source" tells E! online that the cast did NOT want be in Italy for too long, so they got MTV to agree to only do PART of the season abroad. The rest will take place back at home in New Jersey. --MTV hasn't commented. Check Out the "SNL" Digital Short About Helen Mirren's Rack: This weekend's "Saturday Night Live" featured a Digital Short called "HELEN MIRREN'S Magical Bosom," and it was what it sounds like: A sketch about Helen Mirren's rack. (--Helen was the host.) --In the skit, cast member Nasim Pedrad asks Helen if she can touch Helen's breasts, and when she does, she's transported to a "place that's much better than Heaven . . . in Helen Mirren's (boobs)." --DAVE GROHL of the FOO FIGHTERS made a cameo, since he was this week's musical guest. The skit ended with Helen Mirren getting motorboated by KRISTEN WIIG. (--You can find the sketch, here. ***WARNING***: The word "titties" occurs twice, at the 1:19 mark and at the 1:28 mark.) Video of Danny Bonaduce Performing with David Cassidy in Atlantic City: Last fall, DAVID CASSIDY dared DANNY BONADUCE . . . who played his younger brother on "The Partridge Family" . . . to learn one of the Partridge Family songs, and perform it with him. And it actually happened on Saturday night in Atlantic City. --They performed "Doesn't Somebody Want to Be Wanted". (--Here's video. ***WARNING***: David drops an S-bomb 14 seconds in.) --Before beginning, Danny asked the crowd, quote, "You want to see something nobody has ever seen before? Me, plugging in a bass guitar!" (--Danny pretended to play the bass and lip-synched on the show. David sang for real.) Monday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.) --"Seriously Funny Kids" [1st Season Finale] . . . 6:00 to 6:30 P.M. on Lifetime. --"Dancing with the Stars" [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. --"House" [150th episode] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Olivia Wilde returns as Thirteen . . . when she is released from prison.) --"Chuck" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Timothy Dalton returns as Volkoff and tries to save his daughter from a CIA-ordered assassination with the help of Chuck.) --"Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on GSN. --"Mad Love" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--"SNL's" Chris Parnell returns as Officer Barrett, who takes Connie on a date that keeps getting interrupted by Larry.) --"Law & Order: Los Angeles" [1st Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. --"Being Human" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Syfy. --"RuPaul's Drag Race" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Logo. (--La Toya Jackson and author Gigi Levangie Grazer ("Queen Takes King") guest judge a beauty pageant in which the dresses are made of money.) --"The NewNowNext Awards" . . . 10:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Logo. (--James Van Der Beek hosts and Lady Gaga is awarded the "Always Next, Forever Now" award. Performers include Robyn, Panic! at the Disco, Oh Land and Wynter Gordon.) --"Paranormal State" [6th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on A&E. --"All About Aubrey" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Oxygen. The Rolling Stones Recorded with Original Bassist Bill Wyman for the First Time in Nearly 20 Years: The ROLLING STONES recently recorded a song with original bassist BILL WYMAN, who they hadn't been in the studio with since he quit the band nearly 20 years ago . . . in 1992. --It was a cover of BOB DYLAN'S 1971 song "Watching the River Flow", and it was for a tribute album honoring Ian Stewart, the Stones' original keyboardist. --It wasn't a REAL reunion, though . . . MICK JAGGER and KEITH RICHARDS recorded their parts in separate studios. (--It's unclear if Wyman was with either of them when he laid down his part.) (--You can listen to the song they recorded, here.) --The album, "Boogie 4 Stu", will be released NEXT Tuesday. The album is packed with blues covers. (--Jagger only appears on the Dylan cover, but other members of the band appear on several tracks.) (--Ian was a member of the band from 1962 to 1963, when he was demoted to "road manager." The Stones' manager thought that Ian should be cut because at six members, there were too many people in the band.) U2 Owns the Highest-Grossing Tour of All-Time: U2'S "360" tour became the highest-grossing tour in HISTORY last night. (--U2 was playing their second show in Sao Paulo, Brazil.) --The tour surpassed the $558 million that the ROLLING STONES generated during their "A Bigger Bang" tour from 2005 to 2007. --But U2 isn't stopping there. By the time their 360 tour finishes its next North American leg on July 30th, it's expected to be at the $700 million mark. --The 360 tour will also become the "highest attended" tour ever . . . selling more than 7 million tickets to 110 shows. That record was previously held by the Stones, too. Their Voodoo Lounge tour sold 6.4 million tickets in 1994-1995. MONDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS DREA DE MATTEO and SHOOTER JENNINGS have a new baby boy. They named him Waylon Albert 'Blackjack' Jennings. They also have a 3-year-old daughter named Alabama Gypsyrose. (Full Story) The wife of Indianapolis Colts quarterback PEYTON MANNING gave birth to twins . . . a boy and a girl. They named them Marshall Williams and Mosley Thompson. (Full Story) As an adult, you know how you feel about REBECCA BLACK'S "Friday" video. But how do KIDS feel about it? (Check out this video and you'll see.) When ASHLEY JUDD spoke out against the culture of rape and misogyny in rap lyrics, she started a mini-war with ?UESTLOVE from THE ROOTS. (Full Story) JEREMY PIVEN was giving an interview to an Australian radio station . . . on his cell phone . . . while he was driving. He got pulled over by a cop, and left the phone on so they could hear him getting ticketed. (Audio) GEORGE LUCAS' daughter backed out of her MMA fight Saturday . . . because her opponent came in eight pounds overweight. (Full Story) MICHAEL LOHAN showed up at LINDSAY'S place twice yesterday and banged on the door . . . but she wouldn't let him in. (Full Story) ELLEN PAGE can juggle. (Video) Here's the massive questionnaire that prospective jurors in DR. CONRAD MURRAY'S manslaughter trial had to fill out. (Document Link) It's official: VIGGO MORTENSEN will NOT play General Zod in the new "Superman" movie. The role has been taken by MICHAEL SHANNON, who plays a federal agent on HBO's "Boardwalk Empire". (Full Story) There's a show in development called "A Mann's World", which reportedly stars CHRIS CROCKER, a.k.a. the "Leave Britney alone!" Internet sensation . . . Shangela from "RuPaul's Drag Race" . . . and former "Miami Vice" star DON JOHNSON. No word if any networks are interested. (Full Story) TMZ says MATT LAUER doesn't want to leave the "Today" show, he's just trying to bump his salary from $17 million a year to $25 million a year. NBC says they're "not in any negotiations with Matt, [because] he's under contract" long-term. (Full Story) TINA FEY will host "Saturday Night Live" for the third time on May 7th. (Full Story) Word has it that the organizers of the 2012 Olympic Games want Coldplay to perform the official Olympic song at the opening ceremony in London next summer. MUSE and JOSS STONE are also being considered. (Full Story) PRINCE is doing a 21-night residency at the L.A. Forum. It begins Thursday. (Full Story) The "National Enquirer" claims BRITNEY SPEARS is suffering from depression . . . and is trying to fight it with pills, alcohol and junk food. Supposedly, she's gained over 30 pounds in the past six months. (Full Story) NAZZY�S RANDOM STUFF 93% of Men Would Rather Give Up Alcohol For a Year Than the Internet . . . And 89% Would Rather Give Up Toothpaste? I'm not sure any woman in the country will believe this, but there are men out there who think that brushing their teeth is more important than going on the Internet OR drinking alcohol. --There aren't many. But they exist. And they can't ALL be dentists. --In a new survey of men ages 18 to 45, and their Internet habits, 89% said they would choose Internet access over a toothbrush and toothpaste for a year. --93% said they would choose the Internet over drinking alcohol and eating out at restaurants for a year. --So, basically, you could assume a basic male priority list goes Internet, personal hygiene, alcohol. --In the survey, only 35% admitted that they look at porno online. --That put porno second-to-last on the list of popular Internet activities . . . it finished behind email, YouTube, social networking, research, and reading news . . . and only finished ahead of blogging. (Digital Home) A Study Finds that Married Women Are Happier Than Unmarried Women Who Live With Their Man: According to a new study, women might CONVINCE themselves that they're happy shacking up with a guy and not getting married . . . but until they get a ring and a piece of paper that says "marriage certificate" on it, they're secretly depressed. --Researchers at the University of Cologne in Germany studied more than 22,000 women around the world, and found that in every country, married women were ultimately happier than unmarried women who live with their guy. --And they believe married women are happier because ultimately, society STILL disapproves of unmarried couples who live together. --They did find that in countries where cohabitation is more popular, there's less of a happiness difference between married and unmarried women. --So places like England, Sweden, and the Netherlands had smaller happiness differences between married and cohabitating women than more traditional countries like Mexico, Brazil, Bulgaria . . . and the U.S. (The Telegraph) Here's How Much Money You Could Save By Moving In Together: In theory, moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend for financial reasons probably isn't the smartest move. But whatever. This is America. You can do what you want. --And if you are doing it for financial reasons, according to Mint.com, as a couple living together, you'll spend 41% MORE than a single person. But since you're both contributing, that means you'll both spend 30% less than if you lived apart. (Mint.com) Which Combination of Boys and Girls Leads To the Happiest Families . . . and Which Combinations Lead To the Least Happy? You'd think a family with two daughters would equal a lifetime of passive-aggressive fighting and tears on a daily basis. And . . . you'd be wrong. --Bounty just ran a survey to figure out which combination of boys and girls lead to the happiest families. --And "two girls" came in first place. --The consensus was, quote, "Two girls are unlikely to fight, will play nicely, and are generally a pleasure to be around. Two girls rarely annoy their parents with too much noise, confide in their parents, and are unlikely to ignore each other." --Of the 12 combinations on the list, the WORST one was . . . FOUR girls. Once you double the number of girls, the survey found the fights go way up . . . to an average of four fights per day. --The list included the 12 possible combinations for families with between two and four children. --It didn't include being an only child, or families with five or more children. --In order from best to worst combinations, the list goes: #1.) Two girls #2.) One boy and one girl #3.) Two boys #4.) Three girls #5.) Three boys #6.) Four boys #7.) Two girls and one boy #8.) Two boys and one girl #9.) Three boys and one girl #10.) Three girls and one boy #11.) Two boys and two girls #12.) Four girls (New York Times) A 15-Month-Old is Hospitalized After Applebee's Accidentally Serves Him a Margarita In His Sippy Cup: Countdown to massive lawsuit in five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . --On Friday afternoon, Taylor Dill-Reese of Oak Park, Michigan was with her family having an early dinner at Applebee's. She ordered an apple juice for her 15-month-old son and the server brought it to him in a sippy cup. --The kid drank out of the cup, then started acting strange. Taylor took a sip and figured out why . . . her 15-month-old wasn't served apple juice, he was served a MARGARITA. --No one at her table was drinking alcohol . . . and I can't imagine that Applebee's regularly serves alcohol in sippy cups . . . so it's pretty hard to figure out how this accident happened. --Taylor took her son to the hospital where his blood-alcohol level was a .10 . . . which is obviously over the legal limit for an ADULT, and potentially dangerous for a toddler. --Fortunately, her son is OK. There's no word on whether she plans to sue . . . yet. --Applebee's issued an apology . . . said it was, quote, "unacceptable" . . . and told Taylor they plan to investigate with local law enforcement how the hell this happened. (FOX 2 - Detroit) United Is America's Meanest Airline: Trying to name America's meanest airline is like trying to name America's chubbiest state . . . just because you have to pick ONE doesn't mean they're not all legitimate contenders. --But "U.S. News & World Report" was determined to name just one airline as the MEANEST in America. So they used a formula based on late flights, denied boardings, mishandled baggage, and total customer complaints to figure it out. -And their "winner" for America's meanest airline is . . . United. They mostly landed there because of an extremely high complaint rate and their high baggage fees. --American Airlines was named second meanest of the major carriers . . . then Frontier, Continental, and Delta. --For regional carriers, American Eagle was named the meanest. --Check out a few of the other awards: Delta was the most complained about airline . . . JetBlue was named most likely to be unsafe . . . and Delta, U.S. Airways, and Continental tied for most likely to overcharge for bags. --American Eagle is most likely to bump you off a flight . . . Comair is most likely to be late . . . and American Eagle is most likely to mishandle your bag. --NO AIRLINE performed great on the study . . . they all got negative scores . . . but the five that were the NICEST of the bunch are AirTran, Hawaiian, JetBlue, Alaska, and Southwest. (U.S. News & World Report) The Car Brand with the Worst Reputation In the U.S. is . . . One That's Been On Sale Here For Only a Few Months: When you think of a Fiat, you either remember the crappy cars that people used to drive here in the '70s and '80s . . . or you think of them as the crappy cars that are a plague all over Europe. --Well, the Fiat is back in the U.S. And we already hate it. --Very quietly this year, the 2012 Fiat 500 subcompact car went on sale in America. Chrysler owns Fiat, and they've been selling it. --And in a new study of the American car market, the car brand that got the lowest scores for reputation is . . . Fiat. --Apparently, we have long memories. Even though very few people knew Fiat was back in the U.S., we only associate the brand with its mediocre '70s fleet. In fact, the new Fiats are apparently pretty decent. --Other car brands that scored just better than Fiat are Suzuki, Smart, Dodge, Chrysler, Kia, and Jeep. --Volkswagen, Audi, Acura, BMW, and Lexus got the highest scores for having the best reputations. (Yahoo Autos) Stores In Australia are Charging Dressing Room Fees . . . Because People Try On Clothes, Then Leave and Buy Them Online: At this point, we all know that anything you buy in a store you can find online for cheaper. But there are certain things you can do in a store you can't do online . . . like actually hold something in your hand and see how it looks. --In Australia, stores have noticed that customers are trying to beat the system: They come in . . . try on a bunch of stuff . . . don't buy any of it . . . and go home, where they presumably buy the clothes online. --So some stores there have actually started charging DRESSING ROOM FEES. --And that's exactly what it sounds like: You pay a fee to try stuff on. If you end up buying from the store, they refund your fee. If you don't end up buying, then they keep your fee. --Ski shops are leading the way. They actually charge a $50 fee to try on ski boots. If you buy them, they take that money off the price of the boots. If you don't, you're out 50 bucks. --So far, there's no sign these fees could make their way over here. (The Australian) MEATBALL CRIMINALS Police Pull Over a Guy Who's So Drunk He Confuses His Hearing Aid For a Cigarette and Tries To Light and Smoke It: THIS is what happens when you tuck a cigarette behind your ear for later . . . then get so drunk that you lose all logic, reason, and basic motor skills. --Last week, police saw 53-year-old David Wagner of Jensen, Florida swerving in his Saturn. They pulled him over and found that he was drunk. REALLY drunk. --And this was the big sign. At one point it seems he reached for the cigarette behind his ear . . . grabbed his HEARING AID out of his ear instead . . . didn't realize it . . . then tried to LIGHT and SMOKE his hearing aid. --After a cop pointed that out, David admitted he'd had, quote, "way too much" to drink: He said he put down about half a bottle of Jagermeister. --He wasn't at a bar either. He was actually out on a mission to buy a chocolate milkshake for his wife because she'd had some teeth removed earlier that day. --He was arrested and charged with DUI. (Treasure Coast Palm) An 18-Year-Old Throws Knives At Her Fianc� and Mother After a Fight About Wedding Plans: I don't think I've EVER seen a better story that illustrates why 18-year-olds are too young and immature to get married. --18-year-old Jenna Spraggins of Ferndale, Michigan is engaged to an 18-year-old boy, whose name wasn't released. And back on March 28th, they got into a fight. --She wanted to work on wedding planning. As an 18-year-old guy, HE didn't want to sit around and do that . . . he wanted to go SKATEBOARDING. --They argued, then they fought, and Jenna's ultimate, mature, rational response was . . . to start throwing KNIVES. And not just butter knives . . . steak knives. --She threw knives at her boyfriend and her mother, who was trying to break up the fight. Fortunately, no one was hurt. --Jenna was arrested and charged with two counts of felonious assault and two counts of misdemeanor domestic violence. --She could be looking at up to eight years in prison. --Oh, and of course . . . she's pregnant. (Royal Oak Daily Tribune) How Stupid Do You Have To Be To Break Into the Lion House At the Zoo Just To Steal Walkie-Talkies and Pepper Spray? Yeah . . . this burglar is going to end up dead one day. Because he clearly doesn't understand the downside of high risk, low reward crimes. --On Saturday morning, a man broke into the LION HOUSE at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. He used a ladder to cross the tiger moat and broke into the tiger enclosure. --Luckily for him, there weren't any lions or tigers there at the time. They'd been moved out of the public areas and into a secure area for the night. But there was a CHANCE that there'd be lions and tigers there, which makes this insanely high risk. --And what did this guy steal? Some walkie-talkies and pepper spray. The value was estimated around $3,500 . . . but that REALLY doesn't seem like a worthwhile prize for breaking into an area of the zoo that could've been filled with lions and tigers. --Police are still searching for the burglar. (Chicago Tribune) RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS According to the IRS, the average tax refund this year will be . . . $3,000. They expect to issue between $250 billion and $300 billion in refunds this year, and so far they've received about 75 million federal income tax returns . . . with about 65 million of those qualifying for refunds. (Full Story) While you're stuck in traffic today, think about this: Texas might raise the speed limit on some of their highways to 85 miles per hour. And there are already over 500 miles of interstate in Texas where the speed limit is 80 miles per hour. (Full Story) A woman in Oregon is now facing assault and criminal mistreatment charges . . . after attempting an at-home circumcision of her three-month-old baby boy with a box cutter and a pair of pliers. Happy Monday! (Full Story) A guy in Ohio snuck into a municipal court that handles small claims cases . . . and stole the judge's gavel. He was busted using surveillance video, but they never recovered the gavel. (Full Story) According to the cutting edge reporting on "Good Morning America", the new cosmetic surgery craze is to get "elfin ears" . . . where they split open the cartilage at the top of your ears and sew them back together to create a point, like 'Spock.' (Full Story) NAZZY�S VIDEOS OF THE DAY #1.) A Congresswoman Told Republicans Not to Cause a Government Shutdown . . . By Reading Lyrics From the White Stripes: The government didn't shut down on Friday after all, and we're giving 100% credit to Maryland Congresswoman DONNA EDWARDS. She took the House floor Friday night, . . . and read lyrics from the WHITE STRIPES song "Effect and Cause". (--Search for "Donna Edwards White Stripes." She starts reading at :15. The audio track is about one second behind the video, but it's really her voice.) #2.) A Fan Threw a Dead Fish on the Ice at a Hockey Game . . . Then the Announcers Made Fun of the Referee For Not Wanting to Pick It Up: Someone threw a dead salmon onto the ice at a hockey game between the Vancouver Canucks and the Minnesota Wild last Thursday. Then the announcers made fun of the referee for not wanting to pick it up with his bare hands. --He eventually picked it up with a towel, but gave it a good kick with his skate first. (--Search for "Fan Throws Salmon at Canucks Game." He picks it up at :27, and they show him kicking it at :37.) #3.) And Now . . . a Dolphin Playing With a Cat: This seems like a Disney movie in the making, but there's a video on YouTube of a dolphin bobbing up and down next to a boat, playing with a cat. --The dolphin keeps using its chin to rub the cat's head, and the cat bats it in the face with its paw a few times, but the dolphin doesn't seem to mind. (--Search for "Cat and Dolphins Playing Together.") Seven Tax Deductions That Could Get You Audited: Taxes are due one week from today, on Monday, April 18th. Before you file, here are seven things you shouldn't even THINK about deducting. #1.) Your Landline Telephone. Even if you only use it for work, the IRS says the first hard-wired phone in your home is always considered a personal expense. But you CAN deduct long distance calls as long as they're business-related. --And if you install a second landline that's specifically for work, you can deduct the whole thing. #2.) Commuting Costs. It's tempting, because gas is so expensive now. But the cost of getting to and from work is never deductible. --However, if you work at more than one location during the day, you CAN deduct the money you spend getting from one job to the other. #3.) Your Pet. Believe it or not, people still try to claim their pets as dependents. --But the only time you can deduct costs associated with your pet is if it's a Seeing Eye dog, or you need it for some other medically valid reason . . . like a helper monkey. #4.) Plastic Surgery. You can only deduct it on your taxes if it's medically prescribed. For example, if your doctor tells you to get a nose job to treat a respiratory issue, you CAN deduct it on your taxes. --But if you just wanted bigger cans, you can't. #5.) Dry Cleaning. You can only deduct dry cleaning costs for a uniform you're required to wear to work. A suit and tie don't count because you could also wear them when you're not working. #6.) Time You Spend Volunteering. If you skip a day of work to go volunteer, you can't write off the money you would have made. Yes, some people do try. --What you CAN do is deduct OTHER costs associated with your charity work, like unreimbursed expenses. And you can also deduct your mileage at a rate of 14 cents per mile if you have to drive to get there. #7.) Over-the-Counter Medication. You can only deduct it as a medical expense if it's prescribed by your doctor. But you CAN deduct some over-the-counter tests, including pregnancy tests, and blood sugar tests if you're diabetic. --And new moms can also deduct supplies used for breastfeeding, including bottles and breast pumps. (Bankrate.com) National Volunteer Week National Volunteer Week is April 10-16. The week of volunteering was created in 1974 by President Richard Nixon. There are all different kinds of volunteering activities available. You can tutor, landscape, garden, clean up, work on construction projects, help with disaster preparedness, and many other activities. Here�s a list of websites you can search for volunteering opportunities near you. www.nationalserviceresources.org www.serve.gov www.redcross.org/en/volunteer www.servicenation.org www.playinterrobang.com www.allforgood.org www.volunteermatch.org You can also volunteer online in the comfort of your home. One idea is to volunteer at Librovox.org, were you read out-of-copyright books for free so that people can listen to it as an audio books. Another idea is to answer questions online such as Yahoo! Answers or answers.com. There are several more websites that let you share your knowledge with others. In 2010 alone, more than 63 million Americans volunteered their time, President Obama said in his presidential proclamation to kick off National Volunteer Week 2011. During National Volunteer Week, Points of Light Institute and its volunteer arm, HandsOn Network (www.handsonnetwork.org), will host special events and recognize and mobilize thousands of volunteers across the nation.