HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (April 7, 2011)

Mariah Carey Exposes Her Belly . . . But Covers Her Boobs . . . on the Cover of the New "Life & Style" Magazine:

 

MARIAH CAREY poses TOPLESS on the cover of the new "Life & Style" magazine. Unfortunately, although her gigantic belly is fully exposed, her breasts are covered by her hair. (--Check it out here.) --Mariah tells the magazine, quote, "The babies were kicking almost the entire time; it was unbelievable, especially the girl. Clearly she's a diva in training!
--"We didn't start shooting until 1:30 A.M. because I was in the hospital from the night before until the day of the shoot with contractions five minutes apart!
--"Now I have so much respect for mothers everywhere, especially those who've had difficult pregnancies or given birth to multiples. We need to have Mother's Day once a week!" --Mariah admits she was self-conscious about the photo shoot at first. She says, quote, "I was feeling very vulnerable about taking pictures at all right now, but then I didn't want to miss this opportunity to document this once-in-a-lifetime experience. --"My ultimate goal was to share this incredibly personal moment with my true fans."

 

 

Courteney Cox and David Arquette Took Their Daughter to Disney World:

 

COURTENEY COX and DAVID ARQUETTE took their 6-year-old daughter Coco to Disney World in Orlando this week. --We're not sure if this says anything about the state of their marriage . . . but David did Tweet a picture of the three of them along with the caption, "Disney World really is the most magical place on earth." (--Here's the grainy pic.) --Courteney recently returned from St. Barts . . . where she was vacationing with Coco and her "Cougar Town" costar JOSH HOPKINS. Courteney's rep swore that trip was, quote, "strictly platonic."

 

 

Is Jake Gyllenhaal dating Jessica Lowndes from "90210"?

 

JAKE GYLLENHAAL was seen having breakfast Friday morning with JESSICA LOWNDES . . . who plays Adrianna Tate-Duncan on "90210". It happened at the Greenwich Hotel in New York City. --But we can't necessarily read anything into it yet. Jake's rep says, quote, "They're not dating" . . . while Jessica's rep issued a "no comment." (--Jake is 30. Jessica is 22 . . . and probably has more to gain from being linked to Jake. Hence the non-denial from her side.)

 

 

Tina Fey is Pregnant:

 

TINA FEY is pregnant with her second child. She's about five months along. --Tina and her husband, composer Jeff Richmond, already have a 5-year-old daughter named Alice . . . who inspired Tina's classic "30 Rock" line, "I want to go to there." Tina is 40 years old. --Tina revealed her pregnancy in an interview she taped for Tuesday's "Oprah". (--Does Tina's pregnancy mean an end to "30 Rock"? In today's TV QUICK HITS, Alec Baldwin says that next season will be the show's last.) Speaking of baby news . . . Mariska Hargitay Has Adopted a Baby:
MARISKA HARGITAY and her husband Peter Hermann have adopted a baby girl. Her name is Amaya Josephine and she was born last week, somewhere in the United States. They also have a four-year-old son. --Mariska says, quote, "I'm deliriously happy. From the minute she was born, she was just surprisingly alert and so full of love." (--Check out a picture of Mariska with the baby here.)

 

 

Are Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Breaking Up?

 

Don't despair just yet, "Twilight" fans . . . but there's word going around the World Wide Web of Misinformation that ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART are going through a rough patch in their relationship. --A source says, quote, "Things have been a bit rocky for a while. They both have hectic work schedules, Rob in particular at the moment, and their phone calls were getting fewer and further between. -"They started to only see each other on set and began to drift apart until a general apathy developed. --"The excuses why they couldn't meet up basically got weaker and weaker, and Rob figured they should officially cool things off and have some time to figure out what they each want." --Again, keep in mind that this is completely unconfirmed at this time.

 

 

Oprah Winfrey Might Not Publicly Support President Obama's Re-election Campaign:

 

If PRESIDENT OBAMA gets re-elected in 2012, it'll be without the support of OPRAH WINFREY. At least publicly. --Oprah came out in support of Obama's 2008 run . . . but so-called "sources" say she won't be doing that this time around . . . because she's trying to build an audience for her TV network. --The source says, quote, "For 2012, much has changed for Oprah. She now has her own cable channel called OWN that has been struggling to find an audience . . . she isn't going to do anything to alienate them. --"Unlike in 2008, when a drop in ratings didn't matter as much for the queen of TV, Oprah is now fighting every day to get people to tune into OWN . . . Making sure it thrives is now her priority." (--To hell with the government shutdown. Nothing can possibly be more detrimental to Obama's re-election bid than an Oprah Love Shutdown!!!)

 

 

Here Are Some Things You Don't Know About "Glee" Star Corey Monteith:

 

"Glee"
star CORY MONTEITH is the subject of "Us Weekly's" latest 25 Things You Don't Know About Me column. Here are some of the highlights . . .

 

--"I play a lot of ultra-violent video games."

 

--"I'm a pretty good snowboarder but a terrible surfer."

 

--"I love high-fiving. So ironic . . . and '80s."

 

--"I prefer green candy."

 

--"I used to do tech support for MSN in Canada."

 

--"When I see a clock that says 12:34, I say, "One two three four.""

 

--"Rickrolling is the best part of the Internet." (--Check out the rest of the list here.)

 

 

Is Ashley Judd's Family Upset With Her for Writing That Book?

 

NAOMI and WYNONNA JUDD have been pretty gracious about all the nasty things ASHLEY JUDD says about the family in her new book, "All That Is Bitter and Sweet". But behind the scenes, they might be singing another tune. --A so-called "family insider" claims the family is pretty jacked about the book . . . quote, "How she could betray her own flesh and blood with this disturbed view of what happened is shocking and hurtful. --"These ugly family accusations should be discussed in private within the family, not printed and sold to the public to make a quick buck." --Another source says, quote, "Naomi and Wynonna have had a strained relationship with Ashley for years. --"This is the final nail in the coffin. They are very angry and hurt that Ashley would write a book rather than deal with whatever problems they have privately." (--This is interesting: With all the crazy stuff Ashley said about her family and her childhood, now she seems PISSED that people are talking about it. You can read what she has to say about that here.)

 

 

Ashley Judd Goes After P. Diddy and Snoop Dogg In Her Book:

 

ASHLEY JUDD doesn't just pull the covers back on her family life in her new autobiography. She also takes aim at rappers like P. DIDDY and SNOOP DOGG. --In addition to just being a memoir, Ashley's book also talks about her advocacy work on behalf of women all over the world. And she criticizes the organization YouthAIDS for using rappers as spokespeople. --She says, quote, "YouthAIDS was supported by rap and hip-hop artists like Snoop Dogg and P. Diddy to spread the message . . . um, who? Those names were a red flag. --"As far as I'm concerned, most rap and hip-hop music . . . with its rape culture and insanely abusive lyrics and depictions of girls and women as 'ho's' . . . is the contemporary soundtrack of misogyny." --She also kind of blames the kinds of attitudes found in rap lyrics for a lot of the world's problems . . . --Quote, "I believe that the social construction of gender . . . the cultural beliefs and practices that divide the sexes and institutionalize and normalize the unequal treatment of girls and women, privilege the interests of boys and men, and, most nefariously, incessantly sexualize girls and women . . . is the root cause of poverty and suffering around the world."

 

Donald Trump is Tied for Second in a New Poll of Republican Presidential Candidates:

 

Still laughing about DONALD TRUMP'S possible presidential run? You might want to put your giggles on hold. He's kind of a serious contender. At least for now. --In a new poll of Republican primary voters by NBC News and the "Wall Street Journal", MITT ROMNEY is the frontrunner with 21% of the vote.--But Trump isn't far behind. He's tied for second with former Arkansas Governor MIKE HUCKABEE at 17%. They're followed by NEWT GINGRICH with 11% and SARAH PALIN with 10%.

 

 

Bristol Palin Made $70,000 Last Year For Her Teen Pregnancy Advocacy:

 

We heard yesterday that BRISTOL PALIN had made $262,500 in 2009 as a teen ambassador for the Candies Foundation. And we wondered how much she banked from them last year. --Well, it turns out Bristol didn't do as much work for the foundation in 2010. She "only" made $70,000. --Candies says Bristol has been, quote, "an amazing investment." They claim her abstinence advocacy has resulted in, quote, "more than a billion impressions on people."

 

 

The Trailer for "The Hangover 2" Has Been Pulled From Theaters . . . Because of an Oral Sex Joke:

 

The trailer for "The Hangover Part 2" has been pulled from theaters because of an oral sex joke. --It occurs at the very end of the trailer, when Alan . . . the character played by ZACH GALIFIANAKIS . . . puts a water bottle in the pants of an old man sitting next to him on a bus, and a monkey nibbles on it. --Then Alan says, quote, "When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language." (--You can watch the trailer here. WARNING!!! There's an unedited B-word.) --It was actually the Motion Picture Association of America that ordered the trailer pulled. It had been playing in theaters showing "Source Code" . . . and apparently, they were getting complaints. -- Warner Brothers is going to clean up the trailer and put it back in theaters next Friday. --And they admitted to their mistake . . . quote, "In our haste to meet the placement schedule for this trailer, we failed to properly vet the final version with the MPAA. We acted immediately to correct the mistake and removed the trailer from screens."

 

 

It's Official: Glenn Beck's Fox News Show Is Coming to an End:

 

The rumors were true: GLENN BECK is ending his Fox News show. --Beck announced that he will, quote, "transition off his daily program." He didn't set an exact exit date . . . other than to say the last episode will air "later this year." --We'd heard that Fox News wanted to cancel "Glenn Beck" because of sharp ratings drops and declining advertiser support . . . and that Beck was interested in leaving to launch his own cable channel. --But for now, that doesn't seem to be the case . . . at least officially. In fact, Beck will stay with Fox News after his show ends to work on producing other programs. There aren't any specifics on what those projects are. --Beck said, quote, "I truly believe that America owes a lot to [Fox boss] Roger Ailes and Fox News. I cannot repay Roger for the lessons I've learned and will continue to learn from him and I look forward to starting this new phase of our partnership." --Ailes also released a statement . . . saying, quote, "Glenn Beck is a powerful communicator, a creative entrepreneur and a true success by anyone's standards. I look forward to continuing to work with him." --On his show last night, Beck had this to say: Quote, "When I took this job I didn't take it because it was going to be a career for me. Paul Revere did not get up on the horse and say, 'I'm going to do this for the rest of my life.' He didn't do it. --"He got off his horse at some point and fought in the revolution, and then he went back to silver-smithing." (--You can find video, here.)

 

 

And Now . . . Matt Lauer Is Supposedly Leaving the "Today" Show:

 

For those of you who feel too old to be gossiping about JUSTIN BIEBER, TAYLOR SWIFT and even KIM KARDASHIAN . . . there's great news: The hot speculation these days is all about aging evening news anchors and morning talk show hosts! --If you haven't been running your mouth off about KATIE COURIC and MEREDITH VIEIRA at the water cooler, you just ain't livin'! And today there's yet another EXCITING wrinkle! --"Entertainment Tonight" is reporting that MATT LAUER has told NBC that he's quitting the "Today" show when his contract is up. That isn't any time soon though. He's signed through December of NEXT year, 2012. --This comes just a day after "TV Guide" claimed that Meredith would be leaving the "Today" show after her contract expires this coming September. --Of course, none of this is official, but the "Today" show did release a statement . . . saying, quote, "There seems to be an awful lot of speculation around news anchors these days, and it's not our practice to comment on any of it. --"Matt Lauer has a long term contract with NBC News and 'Today'." (--He's been a co-anchor on the "Today" show for 14 years . . . since 1997.) --"Entertainment Tonight" also suggested that Matt may want to join Katie Couric on the new daytime talk show that she's ALLEGEDLY developing with their former "Today" show executive producer Jeff Zucker. (--Well, Matt is going to be a little late to the party if he wants to co-host with Katie again . . . because he's not free until December of 2012, and we've heard she wants to get that talk show off the ground by the fall of 2012.)

Alec Baldwin Says "30 Rock" Will End After Next Season:

 

Last year, NBC ordered a sixth season of "30 Rock", which will premiere this fall . . . but according to ALEC BALDWIN, it will be the FINAL season. --Alec had previously talked about leaving the show next year . . . and now he says TINA FEY is leaving, too . . . and that would effectively end "30 Rock" --He tells "New York" magazine, quote, "I will tell you one thing . . . next year is our last year of the show. Our contracts are expired [in 2012], and Tina is going to have a big career directing films and writing. --"She's going to be the next Elaine May. She'll be great." --Reps for Tina and NBC have yet to comment. -A "source" tells E! Online that these comments probably surprised NBC, because there haven't been any discussions about the series coming to an end.

 

 

"X Factor" Will Have Two Hosts:

 

SIMON COWELL has revealed that "X Factor" will have TWO hosts, like the first season of "American Idol" . . . in which RYAN SEACREST and some long forgotten guy named BRIAN DUNKLEMAN shared the gig. --But this time, Simon says the duo will be a man and a woman. He didn't say who they'd be . . . if he even knows at this point. But we may have some more information soon, because Simon is talking to the media about "X Factor" later today. (--It's unclear whether he'll be announcing anything new, but he could be revealing another one of the judges.) --By the way, Ryan just displaced Simon atop the "Hollywood Reporter's" annual Reality Power List. Simon dropped from #1 the past two years to #6 this year. Ryan was #5 last year.
--Most of the people in the Top 50 are network and production company suits . . . but there are a few recognizable names, like Nigel Lythgoe, Gordon Ramsay, Dr. Drew Pinsky and Heidi Klum. (--You can check out the entire list, beginning here.)

 

 

Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

 

--"American Idol" [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Season 4 finalist Constantine Maroulis performs.)

 

--"CSI" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Melinda Clarke returns as Lady Heather to offer her expertise in the investigation into the death of a woman with a deviant cross-species fetish, who was killed by a leopard.)

 

--"Police Women of Broward County" [6th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.

 

--"The Mentalist" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Morena Baccarin, a.k.a. alien leader Anna on "V", plays a matchmaker whose husband ends up dead.)

 

--"Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew" [6th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV.

 

--"The Real Housewives of New York City" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo.

 

--"Unleashed: K-9 Broward County" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TLC. (--Florida's Broward County Sheriff's elite K-9 unit is spotlighted.)

 

--"Secret Diary of A Call Girl" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Showtime.

 

--"Gigolos" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Showtime. (--A reality series about the lives of pay-for-play male escorts in Las Vegas.)

Britney Spears Has Her Sixth #1 Album:

 

BRITNEY SPEARS just scored her sixth #1 album, as "Femme Fatale" debuted with 276,000 copies. For female artists, only BARBRA STREISAND and MADONNA have more #1s. (--Barbra has nine, Madonna has seven.)

 

1.) (NEW) "Femme Fatale", Britney Spears (276,000 copies)

2.) (NEW) "Rolling Papers", Wiz Khalifa (197,000 copies)

3.) "21", Adele (94,000 copies)

 

 

The Grammys Have Slashed 31 Award Categories:

 

The Grammy people have just announced a MAJOR revamp, in which 31 CATEGORIES have been slashed. Next year, the Recording Academy will hand out 78 trophies, as opposed to the ridiculous 109 that were handed out this year. --The top four categories . . . Best Record, Best Album, Song of the Year and Best New Artist . . . haven't been changed. But some of the bigger categories have been consolidated. --The most notable change is that they did away with having separate categories for male and female artists. So for instance, the male and female vocal categories were combined into "solo performance" in the pop, R&B, rock and country genres. --After all the cuts, there will now be four R&B awards instead of eight . . . while country, rock and pop will now have four categories instead of the previous seven. Some other, smaller generes have been merged together. --For example, "Hawaiian music, Native American music and zydeco or Cajun have been folded into the single regional roots music category." Polka, which lost its own category in 2009, is also jammed in there. --And blues and folk will be dropped down to one award each . . . instead of having separate distinctions for "contemporary" and "traditional." --The president of the Recording Academy said the changes were made to maintain and increase competition . . . and to enhance the prestige of winning a Grammy.

 

 

Lady Gaga Probably Isn't Going to Give Nude TV Interviews:

 

In the latest episode of LADY GAGA'S online video series "Gagavision," she talked about wanting to be more "timeless" . . . and joked about achieving that by giving TV interviews NUDE. --That's probably NOT going to be happening though. --Gaga said, quote, "Maybe we should be more timeless. We should just wear a classic black suit all the time . . . or just always nudity? --"That way it's always in style . . . from now on all television spots I'd like to be nude so that I will always be timeless." --Of course, since this is Lady Gaga you can never know for sure. In fact, when she made these comments, she was standing in front of a mirror . . . in what appears to be a see-through outfit that showed her breasts. (--You can see the video, here. ***NOTE***: Because of the video quality, it's difficult to tell for sure . . . but if you watch this video you're probably going to get an obscured look at Lady Gaga's breasts. Fast-forward to the 1:00 mark.)

 

 

Taylor Swift Went on a Date With Actor Garrett Hedlund . . . from "Friday Night Lights" and "Country Strong":

 

TAYLOR SWIFT sure likes her actor (slash) musician types. So far she's dated Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, Cory Monteith, Chord Overstreet, John Mayer . . . and now GARRETT HEDLUND. --You may recognize Garrett for his role as Sam Flynn in "Tron: Legacy" . . . or as Don Billingsley in "Friday Night Lights". Taylor may have hooked up with him because of his work in the movie "Country Strong". --Anyway, according to "US Weekly", Taylor and Garrett were spotted on a dinner date recently in Nashville. A source said, quote, "It was their first time going out. They've been emailing for a while, and she hinted they should get together." --According to the source, the couple met around 8:00 P.M. . . . but Garrett went back to his hotel room ALONE at around 12:30 AM. --Sounds like Taylor doesn't want to get her heart broken, because the source also said, quote, "(Taylor) has actually spent time getting to know Garrett. He's cute . . . and he's into country music. (She) likes that he's a normal guy." --Garrett did some singing on the "Country Strong" soundtrack . . . and is currently recording a country album in Nashville. Anybody care to speculate that Garrett is only using Taylor to pick her brain about the music business?

 

 

 

"Dancing With the Stars"
minx KARINA SMIRNOFF goes nude in the May issue of "Playboy" magazine. HUGH HEFNER calls the pictorial, quote, "unforgettable." (Full Story)

 

 

 

KATRINA BOWDEN . . . who plays Tina Fey's assistant on "30 Rock" . . . has been named "Esquire's" Sexiest Woman Alive. She was actually seeded pretty low in the magazine's March Madness-style bracket, but she ended up beating last year's winner, BROOKLYN DECKER, in the finals. (Full Story)

 

 

 

Will PRINCE WILLIAM'S wedding break any Guinness World Records? Some people think it'll break the record for Most Watched Wedding . . . which currently belongs to his parents. 750 million people in 74 countries watched CHARLES and DIANA make The Royal Mistake in 1981. (Full Story)

 

 

 

JENNIFER ANISTON joked that she and GEORGE CLOONEY should get married and have kids, since they're the most infamously un-hitched man and woman in Hollywood. (Full Story)

 

 

 

LANE GARRISON . . . who spent two years in prison for killing a 17-year-old kid while driving drunk . . . says his time behind bars was his, quote, "worst nightmare." (Video)

 

 

 

Check out some pictures of JERRY SPRINGER from when he was a baby through young adulthood, when he was an aspiring politician. (Photo Gallery)

 

 

 

After surviving six straight duels on Redemption Island, "Survivor" contestant MATT ELROD was finally let back into the game . . . then blindsided by BOSTON ROB and voted BACK to Redemption Island at the very next Tribal Council. (Full Story)

 

 

 

Filming on Season Four of "Jersey Shore" is being pushed back at least a few weeks . . . supposedly because the producers are having trouble getting permits to film around the city of Florence. (Full Story) But some sources say it's because not everyone in the cast has signed a new deal yet. (Full Story) The cast was supposed to leave for Italy a week from today.

 

 

 

BRITNEY SPEARS has released the video for her latest single, "Till the World Ends". (Full Story)

 

 

 

Check out the BEASTIE BOYS' new single, "Make Some Noise". (Audio)

 

 

 

Two men have been arrested on suspicion of murdering DJ MEGATRON from BET's "106 & Park". (Full Story)

 

 

 

NAZZYS RANDOM STUFF

 

Here are Six Possible Effects of a Government Shutdown . . . Including National Parks, Passport Applications, and Your Tax Refund:

 

All signs point to the government shutting down on Friday. Basically, that means the government stops providing services that aren't "essential" until they can reach a new budget deal. --But enough about that. What you're REALLY wondering is, "How will this affect ME?" Here are six ways it could impact your life, based on what happened during the last shutdown in 1995.

 

#1.) Your tax refund could be delayed, especially if you apply by mailing in a return and not using e-file. Also, the IRS would probably have to stop answering their hotline, so if you want to ask them tax questions next week you're screwed.

 

#2.) A long delay for newly-eligible people applying to Medicare.

 

#3.) While the police are considered an ESSENTIAL service, some parts of the police process were cut down in 1995 . . . including case processing, testing, recruitment, hiring, and even work on some non-violent crime cases.

 

#4.) The National Parks will close immediately, as will museums that rely on federal funding.

 

#5.) Long delays if you need a passport or visa application.

 

#6.) NASA will have to stop preparing any space missions. (Huffington Post)

 

 

The Last Time the Government Shut Down, It Led Directly To the Clinton-Lewinsky Affair:

 

If the government shutdown happens on Friday, we'll feel plenty of serious effects. The National Parks will close, our tax refunds could be delayed, and more. --But there's another side effect of the last government shutdown, in 1995, that NO ONE expected: The president cheating on his wife. --That's right. The 1995 government shutdown had a DIRECT connection to the PRESIDENT CLINTON - MONICA LEWINSKY scandal. Here's the four-step process of how that went down.

 

#1.) 22-year-old Monica's internship at the White House was up. But because the shutdown was coming, she couldn't get another government job.

 

#2.) She extended her internship.

 

#3.) The day after the shutdown began, November 15th, 1995, Monica had a moment alone with Bill and told him she, quote, "had a crush on him." He took her into a back study behind the Oval Office and kissed her.

 

#4.) In the days and weeks that followed, they'd have, quote, "unclothed genital contact . . . kissing, hugging, touching, and [oral], but not intercourse." --So . . . um . . . your move, OBAMA. (The Smoking Gun)

 

 

More Women Use Cheating Websites Than Men?

 

Remember this survey next time you think, "My wife would never cheat on me. I'm the world's greatest lover and world's greatest husband. And I'm going to remind her of that when I get home from the bar at 3:00 A.M. tonight." --According to a new study out of the U.K., more women are using cheating websites than men. --They found about SEVEN women are using online cheating sites like AshleyMadison.com for every TWO men. --The women also use the sites longer: Women keep active memberships for over a year, men are active for just over six months. Of course, that could be because almost all of the sites offer women FREE memberships, and men have to pay. (PR Web)

 

 

A New Dating Site Is Basically a Hub For Prostitution . . . Attractive People Offer Up Dates For a Price:

 

There's a new dating site called WhatsYourPrice.com and if this ain't prostitution, then I don't know what is. --On WhatsYourPrice, attractive men and women put up profiles and set a PRICE you have to pay for a first date with them. Then rich people can go on, find someone they like, and bid on a date with them, eBay-style. --The site is free to join and they make it very clear that you're ONLY paying for the first date. Quote, "there is absolutely no sex" guaranteed. Sure. (What's Your Price)

Would You Let Someone Paint Your House Bright Colors and Cover It With Ads If They Paid Your Mortgage?

 

This is one hell of a "Sophie's Choice". There's a company out there that's willing to PAY YOUR MORTGAGE payments . . . but you have to agree to let them publicly BRAND you as broke, desperate, and a pariah of the neighborhood. --The company is called Adzookie. And they're offering to pay your mortgage . . . IF you let them paint your house in bright colors and cover it with ads. --You have to sign up for a minimum of three months and can extend the offer for up to a year. When your contract ends they repaint your house to its original color . . . and stop making your mortgage payments. --Wondering if anyone's interested? Adzookie quietly launched this offer on their website on Tuesday . . . and received more than 1,000 applications within hours. --They've only budgeted $100,000 for this program, and each house costs $8,000 just for the paint . . . so if you want to get in on this, you'd better submit an application now. (--You can apply here.) --Also, before you do, make sure your neighborhood and city allow you to paint your house crazy colors and cover it with ads. And you have to own the home . . . leases and rentals aren't allowed. (Chicago Breaking Business)

 

 

An Atlantic City Casino Had Every Waitress "Model" a New Uniform . . . Then Fired the Ones Who Looked Old or Unattractive:

 

I totally understand that casinos sometimes need to put their older cocktail waitresses out to pasture . . . it's just part of the game . . . but this has got to be one of the CRUELEST ways to do it. --The Resorts Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey decided to switch its waitress uniforms to a very skimpy, sexy 1920s flapper-style outfit. And they called every single waitress in to, quote, "model" the new wardrobe. --And then, after the modeling was over . . . they instantly FIRED 15 waitresses who looked too OLD or UNATTRACTIVE in the outfits. All 15 were between 40 and 60 years old . . . and all were replaced with new, younger waitresses. --Kathryn Felici is one of the waitresses who was fired. She wouldn't give her exact age . . . but said she's been working for the casino since it opened 33 years ago. So, mathematically, she's at least 51 years old. --She says, quote, "I was brought up to the office and told I did not meet the requirements for the uniform and was let go." The official reason on her firing paperwork was, quote, "violating uniform standards." --Seven of the 15 waitresses who were fired have filed a lawsuit for age discrimination. --The owners of the casino didn't have any comment on the lawsuit. (AOL Jobs) (--Here's a photo of the new outfit.)

 

 

A Woman Tries To Get Out of Jury Duty By Writing Down a Bunch of Racist Stuff . . . And the Judge Responds By Giving Her Jury Duty Indefinitely:

 

People always JOKE about pretending to be racist to get out of jury duty. Like, when the judge asks your name, you respond, "My name is Mike and I sure don't like black people." Well . . . one woman in New York actually DID IT. --Her name hasn't been released, all we know is that she's an Asian woman in her 20s from Brooklyn, and she works in the garment industry. She had jury duty this week . . . and didn't want any part of it. --So, on her questionnaire, where it asked her to name the three people she least admires, she wrote, quote, "African-Americans, Hispanics, and Haitians." --The judge is Nicholas Garaufis. When he asked her why she wrote that, she responded, quote, "You always hear about them in the news doing something." --She also wrote on her questionnaire that cops are lazy and just use their sirens to get around traffic jams. --So Garaufis decided to teach her a lesson for trying the 'I'm a huge racist' strategy to circumvent the jury duty system . . . and instead of dismissing her, he put her on jury duty INDEFINITELY. --Quote, "She's coming back [all week], and until the future, when I am ready to dismiss her." (New York Daily News)

 

 

Fridays Have More Bank Robberies Than Any Other Day:

 

This is a random statistic, but if you've always wanted to be a hero who stops a bank robber, maybe you can use it to increase your odds. --According to new FBI statistics, FRIDAY has more bank robberies than any other day of the week. They're most likely to happen in the mid-morning, and they occur in southern and western states more than anywhere else. --In 2010, there were 5,628 bank robberies . . . which is down from 6,065 in 2009. --Overall in 2010, bank robbers stole more than $43 MILLION. But almost all bank robbers end up getting busted, and almost ALL of the cash was recovered. (Yahoo News)

 

 

Not Having a Job . . . Will Kill You:

 

Yesterday, there were a bunch of reports that working more than 11 hours a day leads to a 67% increase in your chance of having heart disease. But don't think that quitting your job and sitting on the couch is the answer. --Not having a job AT ALL can kill you too. Today's work-related "you're gonna die" report: Scientists at McGill University in Montreal, Quebec found that being unemployed increases your risk of premature death by 63%. --The main reason? While work can be stressful . . . NOT being at work and wondering if you're going to end up homeless can be even MORE stressful. (LiveScience)

Worst Way To Die Ever? Two Men Drown In Human Waste Water When a Sewage Plant Wall Collapses:

 

Not to make light of two men's deaths . . . but DEAR GOD this has to be one of the worst ways to die EVER. --The two men are 44-year-old Don Storey and 53-year-old John Eslinger, of Sevierville, Tennessee. --They were both workers at a sewage treatment plant in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, which treated storm water and HUMAN WASTE water. --On Tuesday, one of the walls of the plant collapsed. There was a FLOOD of sewage. And both men DROWNED in the water, filled with the feces of tens of thousands of people. --The Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation is looking into what made the wall crumble. It's believed that the two men were the only ones who died. (New York Times)

 

 

An 83-Year-Old Man in Massachusetts Died When He was Burning Leaves and His Kilt Caught On Fire:

 

I wish there was a more universally-relevant life lesson from this poor man's death last week. But there isn't, so we've just got to go with the lesson it DOES teach. And that is: Don't set dangerous fires while you're wearing a kilt. -Last Thursday, 83-year-old Arthur Ciampa of Beverly, Massachusetts was in his yard, burning leaves, while in his KILT. The fire from the leaves ignited his kilt, engulfed him, and covered 70% of his body in burns. He died on Monday. (Boston Globe)

 

 

There's A Promotional Email Going Around That Urges Daughters To Give Their Moms a Mother's Day Gift of . . . Moisturizer For Down Below:

 

Umm . . . this CAN'T be real. This has to be a hoax. RIGHT? Yesterday, a promotional email started circulating online from the company that makes Replens moisturizer. If you don't know, Replens is for women, usually older women, who have trouble getting a little moisture going DOWN THERE. --And the email urged daughters to give their mom Replens this Mother's Day. Yes, they want daughters to help increase the precipitation in their mothers' naughty parts. --The email says, quote, "Help her relax and slow down from her fast-paced world full of deadlines, commitments, and obligations. And help her be more comfortable with Replens, a long lasting vaginal moisturizer." (Mom 101)

 

 

In Ohio, a Man is Arrested For Illegally Barking at a Police Dog . . . Even Though "the Dog Started It":

 

Did you know it's illegal to taunt a police dog? It is. So next time you see one, don't do the thing where you pretend to throw a ball and then laugh when the dog gets all confused. Or you will go to jail. --On Sunday, 25-year-old Ryan Stephens of Mason, Ohio was drunk and walked past a police car. He spotted a police dog inside. And Ryan and the dog got into a BARKING CONTEST. --A police officer came over and asked Ryan why he was harassing the dog. And even with Ryan's perfectly valid excuse . . . quote, "the dog started it" . . . he was charged with a misdemeanor for teasing a police dog. (Zanesville Times Recorder)

 

 

MEATBALL CRIMINALS

 

A Drunk Guy Angrily Rams His Head Into a Pickup Truck . . . And the Cops Find Out He's an Unregistered Sex Offender:

 

34-year-old John Sherman Powell of London, Kentucky is a registered sex offender in Michigan for attempted sexual conduct with a 13-to-15-year-old. --He hasn't registered yet since he moved to Kentucky . . . and he's been laying low to stay off the grid so he doesn't have to. -That all ended on Monday when he decided to use his head as a battering ram on a truck. -On Monday night, Powell was drinking and talking to his girlfriend on the phone. They had a major fight. And he was so upset afterwards, he went outside and ran full speed, head first, into a green Dodge pickup truck parked on his street. --He made a HUGE DENT in the side, and when the owner of the truck saw it, he called the police. --When they arrived, Powell was still drunk, and dazed from ramming his head into the truck. --They ran Powell's information . . . and found out he was an unregistered sex offender. --He was arrested and charged with first-degree failure to comply with the sex offender registry. He was also charged with first-degree criminal mischief for ramming into the truck. (NBC 18 - Lexington)

 

A Man is Stopped For a DUI and Tries To Get Out of It By . . . Calling 911 About a Fake Crime:

 

All things considered, this actually ISN'T the dumbest plan to try to beat a DUI. If it had worked, this guy would probably consider himself a genius. But it didn't. So now, let us mock him. --Around 3:00 A.M. on Sunday, 25-year-old Brian Elitzer of Orland Park, Illinois was pulled over on suspicion of driving under the influence. --And he came up with a plan. His passenger was 24-year-old Stephen Fratto. Brian told Stephen to call 911 and report that there were men with guns outside of a bar up the street. --That way, he figured the cops who had pulled him over would HAVE to be the first ones to report to the scene. They'd leave, and he could drive off without a DUI. --There was only one problem. While Stephen made the report to 911, the operator could HEAR the police questioning Brian in the background. They put it together, and relayed to the cops what was going down. --Brian was arrested for a DUI . . . Stephen was arrested for false reporting of an offense. (Chicago Sun-Times)

 

 

A Man is Arrested For Driving Around, Finding an Open WiFi Network, and Pleasuring Himself To Internet Porno:

 

If you don't have a password on your wireless Internet at home, this should be enough to push you over the edge and figure out how to set one up. Unless you LIKE sketchy dudes tugging themselves raw outside your house. Which you might. --On Tuesday, 26-year-old Chad Latour of Whitehall, New York was driving around with his laptop open, searching for someone with an unprotected WiFi network. And he finally found one, thanks to a hotel nearby. The hotel's name wasn't released. --So Chad parked his car out front . . . pulled up some Internet porno using their free wireless . . . and started vigorously molesting himself right there in his car. --One of the employees saw him and called the police. Before Chad could even finish they had arrived, and busted him for public lewdness. (Albany Times Union)

 

 

STUPID NEWS EXTRAS

 

 

A 64-year-old in New Mexico brought his 33-year-old female friend to the emergency room, and asked the staff to help her because she was sick. There was only one problem: She'd been dead for a day and a half, and her body was decomposing. Police are investigating, and the guy is facing charges of failure to report a death. (Full Story)

 

 

Based on an analysis of Twitter, using the prevalence of certain words in Tweets, a PhD student named Alex Davies has determined that the happiest state in the U.S. is . . . Tennessee. And the happiest country in the world is . . . Germany. (Full Story)

 

 

A Miami woman was busted on Monday for stealing $1,600 in cash . . . and hiding it under her wig. (Full Story)

 

 

To help cover budget cuts, an elementary school principal in Sacramento, California set up a website to sell her 350 pairs of shoes. (Full Story)

 

 

In one of the toughest college admission seasons ever, college acceptance rates are going down: Harvard's at 6.2%, Columbia's at 6.9%, and San Diego State is at 10%. (Full Story)

 

 

STUPID VIDEOS OF THE DAY

 

#1.) A Guy Made His Kid Cry . . . For Liking the Yankees:

 

Baseball season's in full swing, so we have a quick question: Do you care enough about your favorite team to make your son cry because he likes a rival team? --There's a new video on YouTube of a little kid crying because he likes the Yankees, but his Red Sox-loving dad just stands there stone-faced and tells him he's not allowed to. --At one point, the guy's OTHER son even tells him to stop teasing the kid. But the dad doesn't let up, and when the kid says one more time that he doesn't like the Red Sox, his dad tells him to find a new place to live. (--To be fair, it seems like the guy was just trying to get something funny on video . . . but maybe you shouldn't taunt your kid for the benefit of YouTube viewers? Search for "Guy Makes Kid Cry for Loving the Yankees.")

 

 

 

#2.) The Kid Who Cried Because He Couldn't Be Governor of New Jersey Got to Be Governor of New Jersey . . . For a Day:

 

That video of a little kid crying because he couldn't be Governor of New Jersey was such a hit on YouTube, he actually had his wish GRANTED. --The kid's name is JESSE KOCZON
(--pronounced KO-zon). And yesterday, New Jersey Governor CHRIS CHRISTIE signed a proclamation declaring him honorary governor for a day. (--Search for "Gov.Christie Meets Littlest Big Fan.")

 

 

#3.) Billy Crystal and Helen Mirren Did a Parody Trailer For "When Harry Met Sally 2" . . . And it Involves 'Grampires':

 

BILLY CRYSTAL, HELEN MIRREN, and ROB REINER just
did a parody about a "When Harry Met Sally" sequel for FunnyOrDie.com. --It starts with Crystal and Reiner meeting studio executives, and the head executive loves the idea . . . even though it includes Sally's character being dead. --But the executive also wants to a ridiculous twist: 'Grampires' . . . a.k.a. vampire grannies.
There's also a funny MIKE TYSON cameo. (--Search for "When Harry Met Sally 2." The vampire twist happens at 1:42, and Mike Tyson shows up at 3:23.) (--WARNING: This video includes the F-word, S-word, and other profanity.)

 

 

#4.) Someone Pieced Together All the Lyrics From the Rick Astley Song "Never Gonna Give You Up" . . . Using Audio of Politicians: If you like the tedium of state politics AND RICK ASTLEY, then the stars have aligned, my friend.
--Someone with a lot of time on their hands spliced together footage of Oregon politicians speaking on the floor of the state congress, and used it to recreate all the lyrics to the 1987 song "Never Gonna Give You Up". (--It's like being Rickrolled by boring state legislators. Search for "Legislators Won't Give Up on Oregon."

)

 

One of the Three Secrets of Happy Couples is Saying 'Good Morning'?

 

A lot of the relationship advice in magazines isn't very specific. Or it's too hard to put into practice. But here's a list from "Women's Health" of three simple things that happy couples supposedly do . . . and you could start doing them immediately.

 

#1.) Say Good Morning. Instead of waking up, getting out of bed, and heading straight for the coffee maker or the shower, roll over and say "good morning" first. --According to one study, 94% of couples who say good morning every day rate their relationships as "excellent." And couples who RARELY say good morning describe their relationships as "below average."

 

#2.) Acknowledge Things They Do That Benefit Both of You. You probably already say "thank you" when someone does something that specifically benefits YOU, like a foot massage, or picking up your dry cleaning. --But it's also important to say "thank you" for things like taking out the trash, walking the dog, or getting the kids ready for school. --When you're with someone for a while, you might start EXPECTING them to do those things, and forget to thank them. And they'll probably resent you for it.

 

#3.) Compliment Each Other in Public. Obviously it's good to praise each other when you're alone . . . especially after you've serviced each other in the sack. --But happy couples compliment each other when other people are around too . . . especially their friends. It sends the message that you're proud to be together. --Saying something simple when you're with a group . . . like telling someone they're funny, smart, or that they look great . . . can go a long way. (Women's Health)