Wednesday, April 6, 2011


It's Official: Kevin Federline's Girlfriend Is Pregnant:


It's official: KEVIN FEDERLINE has a THIRD BABY-MAMA. His girlfriend Victoria Prince is pregnant and due in a few months. --It's a girl, and they're naming her Jordan . . . because they chose the name before they knew the sex, so they had to go with something that was gender-neutral. (--Because waiting would have been too difficult . . .?) --This will be your man K-Fed's FIFTH child. He has an 8-year-old daughter and a 6-year-old son with ex-girlfriend SHAR JACKSON . . . and two sons, ages 4 and 5, with ex-wife BRITNEY SPEARS. --Kevin and Victoria posed for a couple pictures together . . . in which you apparently have to guess which one of them is carrying the baby. (--Check 'em out here.)



Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey Took Some Nude Pictures of Themselves for Their Home . . . But Now Nick Regrets It:


NICK CANNON and MARIAH CAREY took some nude pictures of themselves to hang in their home to commemorate Mariah's pregnancy. But he's regretting it now on behalf of their unborn children. --He says, quote, "My children are going to have to see these pictures. It's a little weird. It's a little nasty. I mean, have you ever seen your parents naked?" --He adds, quote, "When they get older and their friends come over, they will see the pictures and say, 'Your daddy's butt naked.' I don't want my naked booty out there for everyone to see!"



Kim Kardashian Doesn't Think Her Butt is Such a Big Deal:


News Flash: KIM KARDASHIAN doesn't think her butt is such a big deal. She says, quote, "I see ridiculous stories about my butt, like how it has been insured. I feel like saying, 'Hey, everyone has a butt. It's not that big a deal!'" --That doesn't mean she's not happy with it. She adds, quote, "Personally, I've always loved the curvy look. Even when I was a little girl and all my friends would be like, 'Oh my God, your butt's so big'. And I'd say, 'I love it'."



Ashley Judd's New Memoir Talks of Rape, Incest and Parental Neglect:


ASHLEY JUDD has a new memoir out called "All That Is Bitter and Sweet". And it's got to be one of the most revealing celebrity memoirs on the market. --It includes tales of rape, incest, sexual abuse, parental neglect and suicidal thoughts. --Ashley writes, quote, "My mother, while she was transforming herself into the country legend NAOMI JUDD, created an origin myth for the Judds that did not match my reality. --"I loved my mother, but at the same time I dreaded the mayhem and uncertainty that followed her everywhere. I often felt like an outsider observing my mom's life as she followed her own dreams. --"She and my sister [Wynonna] have been quoted as saying that our family put the 'fun' in dysfunction. I wondered: 'Who, exactly, was having all the fun? What was I missing?'" --Ashley says there was always marijuana in the home, and her dad was, quote, "prone to taking hallucinogenics with friends on Saturday nights." --Ashley was a toddler when her parents split . . . and her mom moved a new man into their home who was a, quote, "abusive full-blown heroin addict with a criminal record." --She says, quote, "I was taught to believe that our lifestyle was normal and never to question it or complain, even when I was left alone for hours, sometimes days at a time, or when I was passed without warning to yet another relative." --As a child, Ashley was sexually abused by, quote, "an old man everyone knew" at a pizza place. She says, quote, "He beckoned me into a dark, empty corner of the business and offered me a quarter for the pinball machine if I'd sit on his lap. --"He opened his arms, I climbed up, and I was shocked when he suddenly cinched his arms around me, squeezing me and smothering my mouth with his, jabbing his tongue deep into my mouth." --When Ashley was in middle school, her mom started dating the man she's now married to, Larry Strickland. And she says she suffered abuse as a result of that relationship. --She says, quote, "Mom and pop were wildly sexually inappropriate in front of my sister and me . . . a horrific reality for me was that when pop was around I would have to listen to a lot of loud sex in a house with thin walls. --"I now know this situation is called covert sexual abuse."--Ashley doesn't reveal the family member who sexually abused her. But the incident, coupled with everything else going on in her life, nearly drove her to suicide before she was even in her teens. --She says, quote, "I took to playing with mom's gun, trying to decide if it would be worth it to shoot myself. --"There were many days after school . . . I would expertly check the chamber, load bullets, give it a spin and with a jerk of my wrist click the chamber into place, cock the trigger and then hold the gun to my right temple. To me, the way my family lived was already killing me." --Ashley also reveals that she was raped by a man in France when she was a 15-year-old aspiring model. --Naomi and Wynonna Judd are being pretty cool about all of this. Wynonna says, quote, "The veil has been lifted. Secrets keep you sick and families will heal once you get real." --And Naomi adds, quote, "I think it's key for us to spend time figuring our own reality. Every unhappiness is tied to a story, and we have to go back and figure out our stories. And then it's our stories that connect us." --Speaking about the book on yesterday's "Today" show, Ashley said, quote, "I'm very grateful for my mother's exquisitely gracious attitude toward my right to share my narrative. --"You know, the book is very honest [but] it's not necessarily accurate, because everyone in my family has their own perspective and their own experiences. But it's very true for me." (--You can watch the interview here.)

Charlie Sheen Has Applied for Trademarks On 22 Of His Silly Catchphrases:


CHARLIE SHEEN has applied for trademarks on 22 of his silly catchphrases, including . . .


--Duh, Winning


--Vatican Assassin


--Tiger Blood


--Rock Star from Mars


--Sober Valley Lodge


--Sheen's Goddesses


--And the two phrases that make up the title of his live show, "Violent Torpedo of Truth" and "Defeat Is Not an Option".


--Charlie's rep says that how Charlie will use the phrases . . . assuming the trademarks are approved . . . hasn't been determined yet. --But we should note that he's already put some of this drivel on T-shirts and other merchandise, which he's selling on his website. (--Check it out here.)



Charlie Sheen Got Another Standing Ovation in Cleveland Last Night:


Maybe CHARLIE SHEEN really does shoot magic from his fingertips . . . because he conjured up another STANDING OVATION in Cleveland last night. The show featured a moderator once again, and lasted about two hours. --At one point, Charlie reportedly pointed out some audience members who were smoking pot and said, quote, "Now that's winning!" --Charlie moves on to Columbus tonight. (--You can read more details of the show here and here.)


Random Sheen-Anigans:


#1.) Charlie's ex-wives, DENISE RICHARDS and BROOKE MUELLER, are reportedly sending SPIES to all of Charlie's live shows . . . in case he says anything they could potentially use against him in court. (Full Story)


#2.) Charlie is reportedly being offered big money to appear on the British version of "Celebrity Big Brother". Other names they're trying to land include Peaches Geldof, Mohamed Al-Fayed, actress Joanna Lumley and boxer Ricky Hatton. (Full Story)



Angelina Jolie Has a New Tattoo . . . But It Doesn't Mean She's Adopting Another Kid:


As you probably know, ANGELINA JOLIE has the latitude and longitude of all six of her children's birthplaces tattooed on her arm. --Well, Angelina recently added a SEVENTH set of coordinates . . . which sparked rumors that she and BRAD PITT had adopted another child. --But according to "Us Weekly", the new coordinates are for Brad's birthplace in Oklahoma. (--Check out a picture of the tattoos here.) -Meanwhile, Angelina did her U.N. Goodwill Ambassador duty yesterday by visiting refugees near the Libyan border in Tunisia. --Sources say she had to cancel half her visit because her presence sparked a near riot. A photographer who was on the scene says, quote, "The people were beyond excited to see her. --"There were thousands of refugees screaming her name and chanting. The crowd was closing in on her and her security detail; it was intense." --But the U.N. says it's not aware of any security issues during her visit.



Bristol Palin Has Made $262,000 Off of Her Teen Pregnancy Prevention Campaign:


You can tell by how much gold the Pope wears that there's big money in telling people not to have sex. BRISTOL PALIN is finding that out, too. --Bristol made $262,500 in a single year preaching abstinence to kids as a teen ambassador for the Candies Foundation. That's according to tax documents from Candies for the year 2009. --Bristol . . . who turned 20 last October . . . still works for the foundation. There's no word how much she made last year. -Sensing that some people might try to make an issue out of this, Bristol's people issued a statement saying that it's, quote, "not out of the ordinary," and that "most nonprofits compensate their celebrity spokespeople."

Emma Roberts Scolded a Photographer for Calling a Woman Stupid:


EMMA ROBERTS scolded a paparazzi scumbag for calling a woman stupid because she blocked his shot. --Emma said, quote, "You don't say 'someone's stupid' to a lady. Oh my God, that's so uncool, dude. You don't call a woman 'stupid.'" (--Here's video.)



The Nude Sketch of Kate Winslet from "Titanic" Sold At an Auction for $16,000:


Remember when LEONARDO DICAPRIO sketched KATE WINSLET nude in "Titanic"? Well, that picture sold at an auction over the weekend . . . for $16,000. --Titanic Trivia: Do you know who really drew that picture? Director JAMES CAMERON. (--For those of you who've never seen it . . . or just want to see it again . . . click here.)



The Kirstie Alley Tumble Aftermath: Maksim Chmerkovskiy Apologizes and Says He's OK . . . While Kirstie Gets a Tattoo:


In the aftermath of KIRSTIE ALLEY and MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY'S tumble on "Dancing with the Stars" Monday night: Maksim apologized and said he's OK . . . and Kirstie, well, she got a tattoo. (--Revisit the tumble video, here.) --Yesterday, Maksim said that he's feelin' the burn . . . both physically and mentally. --He told ABC News, quote, "I'm good. It's sore. It's fine. It's not a pain that's going to stop me . . . I guess [my leg] got a Charlie horse. It just gave out." --He added, quote, "My philosophy is I want to be in the background. I'm the backbone, but I want to be in the shadows. This being the most talked-about moment kind of takes away from [the other] phenomenal routines . . . --"And even from Kirstie, obviously . . . so that's why I feel a little awkward with this whole attention on me." --And on Twitter, Maksim said, quote, "To all the fans . . . I'm sorry! It'll never happen again and I'll never 'fall'! To @KirstieAlley: You were . . . FLAWLESS! In more ways than one!" --Kirstie also talked about it on Twitter . . . saying, quote, "Thank you all for your support and your votes . . . [it's] sort of a beauty in Live TV . . . because it's live . . . anything can happen . . . gotta love it!!!!" --She added, quote, "Maks is too humble, we all know it takes TWO to Tango . . . on our feet or on our asses . . . it takes TWO. I will do better from now on . . . xoxo." --And then Kirstie got a TATTOO on her left wrist that says "unbroken." (???)
(--You can see a picture of it . . . along with video of Kirstie at the tattoo parlor, here. ***WARNING***: There is UNCENSORED PROFANITY early in the clip.)



Is Meredith Vieira Leaving the "Today" Show?


Is it just me, or is it starting to feel like 2006 again? --Think about it: There's the talk that KATIE COURIC is leaving her job . . . former "American Idol" winner TAYLOR HICKS came from out of nowhere to appear in a "Friday" parody on "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", and now there's this: --MEREDITH VIEIRA is reportedly leaving the "Today" show. (--As you may recall, Meredith left "The View" in 2006 to take over for Katie Couric on "Today" . . . after Katie scored the "CBS Evening News" gig.) --"TV Guide" says Meredith is "expected" to leave the "Today" show when her contract expires in September. That's according to a "source familiar with her plans." (--Obviously, I can't personally vouch for that source . . . however, he or she seems a lot more reliable than a "source UNFAMILIAR with her plans.") (???) --The "source" says Meredith is sick of the demanding early morning hours . . . and would like to spend more time with her husband, who suffers from multiple sclerosis. But NBC is still trying to convince her to re-up.
--Meredith's reps haven't commented on this . . . and NBC would only say, quote, "The 'Today' show anchors are currently under contract and firmly in place." --If she DOES leave, "TV Guide" says "Today" news anchor ANN CURRY is the frontrunner to take her spot. (--Ann has been with "Today" since 1997.) --Or . . . what about Katie Couric? No one is talking about it yet, but if Meredith and Katie do leave their shows, you know people are going to mention the possibility of Katie returning to "Today", no matter how absurd it may seem.
--But don't expect them to SWITCH jobs. Back in October, Meredith told "Ladies Home Journal", quote, "I'll know when it's time to go, and I'm not afraid. --"If I were to leave 'Today' at the end of next year because it's time for me, I wouldn't jump to another show. I would look forward to not working, to traveling with [my husband] Richard and carving out time for us." --Last year, Meredith turned down the opportunity to sign a multi-year contract to remain with "Today" . . . and instead signed a one-year deal worth $11 million. (--Random Note: The "Today" show has been the top-rated morning show for nearly 800 consecutive weeks, which covers more than 15 years.)



"American Idol" and "Dancing with the Stars" Took the Top Four Spots in the Ratings:


"American Idol" and "Dancing with the Stars" are back to dominating the ratings. Wednesday's "Idol" led the way with 24.2 million viewers, but the "Dancing" performance show wasn't far behind with nearly 23 million people tuning in. --HOWIE MANDEL'S special "Mobbed", which aired after Wednesday's "American Idol", attracted 10.8 million viewers in 20th place. Those numbers were so strong that Fox picked up the show for eight episodes.




Wednesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)


--"American Idol" [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox. (--Guitarist Jeff Beck accompanies the remaining nine contestants as they perform songs from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.)


--"Survivor: Redemption Island" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Sarita duels with Matt on Redemption Island . . . and the winner rejoins the game as the two tribes merge. Matt's won five straight duels, so it's not looking good for Sarita.)


--"Dog the Bounty Hunter" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E. (--Dog trains a young friend of the family while tracking down a fugitive in Maui.)


--"MythBusters" [9th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery.


--"Extreme Couponing" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.


--"Breaking In" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--A sitcom starring Christian Slater as a guy who works for a high-tech security firm that protects its clients by breaking into their sites to expose their vulnerabilities.)


--"True Hollywood Story: Charlie Sheen" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on E!


--"Off the Map" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.


--"Glamour Belles" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Lifetime. (--A reality series about a dress shop in Tennessee.)


--"Workaholics" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--Hard-partying college graduates go to extremes to pass a drug test at work.)


--"Top Chef: All Stars" [Reunion Special] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo.


--"Top Chef Masters" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Bravo. (--Curtis Stone is your new host and "Gourmet" magazine's Ruth Reichl is a new judge.)



MTV Has Announced the Nominees for the First Ever "OMAs":


MTV has announced the nominees for their first "O Music Awards", which will celebrate ONLINE music and culture. (--Online is the "O" in the OMAs.) --The categories include things like: "Must Follow Artist on Twitter", "Best Music Hashtag Meme", "Fan Army FTW", "Best NSFW Music Video", "Best Innovative Music Video" and "Best Fan Forum". (--The categories do require a little knowledge of modern Internet lingo. For the ones above, NSFW is "Not Safe for Work", FTW is "For the Win" . . .) (--And a "meme", which rhymes with "cream", is basically any phrase that becomes common Internet slang through repetition. An example of a recent hashtag meme would be "#winning.") --For the more conventional categories: Arcade Fire, Robyn, and OK Go are among the artists up for Best Innovative Music Video . . . and Radiohead, Kanye West and Lady Gaga are among the nominees for Best Innovative Artist.
--The nominees for "Fan Army FTW" include: Justin Bieber's
Beliebers, Lady Gaga's
Little Monsters, Taylor Swift's
Taylor Gang, Adam Lambert's
Glamberts, and the Rihanna Navy.
--You can check out all the nominees at (--And if you're really into this nonsense, you can follow the OMA Twitter account for updates. The handle is @MTVOMA.) --The winners will be determined by fan votes. Voting is supposed to begin SOON, but as of last night it still hadn't started. The winners will be announced during a live WEBCAST at on April 28th.


Vince Neil Has Been Charged for "Poking" His Ex-Girlfriend:


It's official: MOTLEY CRUE singer VINCE NEIL has been charged with domestic violence and disorderly conduct. Vince allegedly POKED and threatened his ex-girlfriend Alicia Jacobs and two of her friends in Las Vegas last month. --Police say Vince forced his way up to them . . . and, quote, "poked [them] with his right index finger . . . each time stating the words, '(eff) you.'" Alicia told the cops she was "forcefully poked in her right shoulder blade." --Vince insists he's not guilty, and his lawyer says he will fight the charges. (--TMZ has a picture of Alicia's alleged post-poking bruise. Here it is.)



Ozzy Osbourne Doesn't Mind If Justin Bieber Music Is Played at His Funeral . . . As Long As It's a "Celebration":


You'd think that OZZY OSBOURNE wouldn't even want JUSTIN BIEBER music to be played over his dead body . . . but he WOULD be OK with that . . . as long as it keeps everyone happy. --In his health column for Britain's "Sunday Times", Ozzy explained, quote, "I don't care what they play at my funeral; they can put on a medley of Justin Bieber, Susan Boyle and We Are The Diddymen if it makes 'em happy . . . --"But I do want to make sure it's a celebration, not a mope-fest." --He added, quote, "I'd also like some pranks, maybe the sound of knocking inside the coffin, or a video of me asking my doctor for a second opinion on his diagnosis of 'death.' . . . I don't want my funeral to be sad. I want it to be a time to say 'thanks.'"



Pictures of a New Kurt Cobain Monument in Washington State:


The 17th anniversary of KURT COBAIN'S death was yesterday, and his hometown of Aberdeen, Washington, paid tribute to him with a new 13-foot statue of a guitar. It was placed near a bridge where Kurt used to write lyrics. (--Here are some pictures.) (--Kurt is on the notorious, eerie list of musicians who died at age 27. Others were: Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison. Here's a full list.)



Gwen Stefani Says She Isn't As Slutty As Today's Pop Stars:


NO DOUBT singer GWEN STEFANI says she doesn't play the Slut Card like some of today's female pop stars . . . not that there's anything wrong with that.
--Speaking of KATY PERRY, RIHANNA and LADY GAGA, Gwen says, quote, "I don't see myself in those girls. I usually put pants on. --"I see these girls as more going for the sex-symbol thing. I was more, in the band, like a tomboy. Of course, I think every girl is sexy, so there's going to be a little of that. But I see a lot of younger artists going more toward the sexy thing." (--For what it's worth, Gwen is now 41 years old . . . while Katy Perry is 26, Lady Gaga is 25 and Rihanna is 23.)



Guns N' Roses Will Pay a Fine If They're Late to a Show in Brazil:


If you've gone to a GUNS N' ROSES show, you've probably learned the ropes: You don't have to leave your home until an hour after the scheduled start-time . . . and you may have to deal with a riot situation once AXL ROSE DOES finally show up. -But that probably won't be happening in Brazil later this year. That's because a promoter somehow got Guns to agree to pay a fine if they are late to a show in Rio on October 2nd. Of course, they could STILL be late. (--There's no word on how much the fine would be.)



Robin Gibb Is Dealing with Some Serious Stomach Pain:


61-year-old ROBIN GIBB of the BEE GEES was hospitalized in the U.K. on Sunday with severe abdominal pains. And at least for now, his prognosis is unclear. -His reps say, quote, "We are not sure what's wrong with him at this stage and are worried. We don't know if it is a recurrence of the previous problem or if it is something else entirely." --Robin has had stomach problems before. Last year, he underwent emergency surgery for a blocked intestine. He had to have part of his intestine removed. --Robin's twin brother MAURICE GIBB had an intestinal problem back in 2003 . . . and he DIED from it. --Robin was supposed to leave for Brazil on Sunday, but he canceled the tour on his doctors' advice.

The Notorious B.I.G. Had Large-Size Condoms on Him When He Died:


Thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, we now know that the NOTORIOUS B.I.G. had a fairly B.I.G. manhood. --Documents from the FBI investigation into Biggie's 1997 murder . . . which is STILL unsolved, of course . . . have been made available, and one of them lists some items that were found on Biggie at the time of his death. --According to, those items included:

--Pot in a plastic baggy

--Bloodstained Karl Kani jeans, size 48

--A pair of Timberlands, size 13

--A Bernini sweater, size 54

--A Primatene Mist asthma inhaler

--And "three condoms" . . . that the authorities described as "larger size" Magnums.






This can't be good: AMY WINEHOUSE is getting BABY FEVER. (Full Story)




AMANDA BYNES Tweeted yesterday that her dog was missing . . . and then, sadly, Tweeted that she was dead. (Twitter Page)




RICHARD HATCH says that if someone will just give him $300,000, he can solve his tax problems . . . and then sue the crap out of CBS and "Survivor" for causing them in the first place. (Full Story)




ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER talks about his new "Governator" cartoon . . . and what's next for him in terms of possible movie roles. (Full Story)




Despite her success at "Wrestlemania 27", SNOOKI has no plans to pursue a career in the WWE. (Full Story)



Check out a photo gallery of the 100 Most Famous WAGs. (--That stands for WIVES AND GIRLFRIENDS of sports stars.) (Full Story)




MARTIN LUTHER KING THE THIRD and former Atlanta Mayor ANDREW YOUNG are launching Bounce TV . . . which they're calling, quote, "the nation's first-ever over-the-air broadcast television network designed exclusively for African-American audiences." (Full Story)




RAY ROMANO and JAMES SPADER will appear on the season finale of "The Office". (Full Story)




"Highway to Hell" at a Malibu karaoke bar the other night. (Video)




DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE filmed their video for "You Are A Tourist" live, in a single take, using multiple cameras. The result was pretty impressive. (--Hit up this link and forward to the 16:30 mark.)




Spring Allergies


Spring is the time when plants bloom, pollen is all around us, and allergy sufferers begin their annual ritual of sneezing and suffering. It's estimated that 35 million Americans suffer from hay fever, while millions more are afflicted with other seasonal allergies. According to a new Rasmussen reports poll, 60% believe spring triggers allergy symptoms more than any other season, and 75% say they or someone they know is an allergy sufferer. What's the best treatment for allergies? The Rasmussen poll shows that 73% of sufferers take medication, either prescription of over-the-counter, and 24% take nothing.



The Relationship Research Institute Has Found the Three Signs Your Relationship Has Potential . . . and Four Signs It's In Trouble:


There's something called the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle. All they do is study relationships. It's like "Cosmo" . . . except it's run by scientists, not yentas, and they never say awful things like "10 Ways to Please and Tease Your Hubby." --Dr. John Gottman founded the RRI, and he says they've identified the three signs a relationship has long-term potential, and the four signs it's in trouble.


--The three signs your relationship has long-term potential are:



#1.) Each of you is genuinely interested in the other's day-to-day lives, dreams, goals, likes, and dislikes.



#2.) You ask open-ended questions and ask for more info and details.



#3.) You show signs of affection like smiling, laughing, and touching.



--The four signs your relationship is doomed are:



#1.) Too much criticism.



#2.) You both find yourselves getting defensive all the time.



#3.) There seems to be a lot of contempt.



#4.) Instead of talking out problems, you stonewall each other and shut down communication.





Apparently, Prostitutes in Pittsburgh are Now Accepting Gift Cards:


Great news for perverts in Pittsburgh who want to get some street squish but are strapped for cash. The hookers there will be more than happy to exchange their services for that $25 Olive Garden gift card grandma gave you for your birthday. --According to the Pittsburgh police, they've found that the hookers who work near the airport are being arrested with just a little cash . . . and a whole bunch of GIFT CARDS. --Now, most of these AREN'T gift cards to Applebee's or Best Buy. Generally, they're prepaid Visa or American Express gift cards you can get at the grocery store or 7-Eleven. But at least SOME of them are gift cards to real restaurants and stores --So why are the prostitutes working for gift cards instead of cash? Leo McCarthy is the chief of the Moon Township, Pennsylvania police. And he thinks it's a move by the hookers to try to keep their profits from being seized when they get busted. --When the police bust a prostitute, their cash is seized as an illegal wage. A gift card is more of a gray area. Quote, "You automatically believe cash is an ill-gotten gain. But if you see a couple of gift cards, you might not think twice." --And apparently gift cards are becoming more and more popular with criminals as a way to launder money . . . by buying gift cards they can instantly hide a money trail and make it difficult to track down where the money really came from. (NBC 11 - Pittsburgh)


A Couple's Four-Month Honeymoon Includes a Blizzard, a Cyclone, and Flooding . . . And Culminates with the Earthquake In Japan:


--Stefan and Erika Svanstrom of Stockholm, Sweden got married last year and planned a four-month honeymoon. Yeah, in Europe you get eight billion days off so that's possible. Anyway, their honeymoon was a DISASTER MAGNET . . .


#1.) It started in Munich, Germany in December, where they were stranded because of a record-breaking BLIZZARD in Europe.


#2.) Then they headed to Cairns, Australia, where they were evacuated from their hotel because of a CYCLONE. They spent 24 hours huddled with thousands of other people on the cement floor of a shopping center.


#3.) Next they were off to Brisbane, Australia, where there was massive FLOODING.


#4.) Then they went to Perth, Australia and had to escape from BUSH FIRES.


#5.) After that it was off to Christchurch, New Zealand where there was a 6.3-magnitude EARTHQUAKE.


#6.) But that was nothing compared to their next stop . . . TOKYO . . . just in time for the JAPANESE EARTHQUAKE. --Stefan and Erika survived all six natural disasters . . . and on March 29th, they headed home. Stefan says, quote, "I know marriages have to endure some trials, but I think we've been through most of them." (Associated Press)



Seven Out of Ten People Have Either Had an Office Romance or Know Someone Who Has:


You'd think at a time like this, when good jobs are hard to come by, people wouldn't risk their career for a little bit of tail. Well . . . nope. Even in this economy, everyone's still thinking with their moist parts. --In a new survey, seven out of ten people say they've either had an office romance themselves or know someone who has. And of the office relationships, almost two out of three were between a boss and a subordinate. --The amazing news . . . in four out of five cases, both people were able to keep the relationship under control and stay employed after things ended. (Nine-To-Five)



Working More Than 11 Hours a Day Will Kill You:


THIS is exactly why you should always slide down the dinosaur and peddle your car home with your feet as SOON as your work day's over. --According to a new study out of University College London, working 11 hours or more on a daily basis will KILL YOU. -They found that people who work that many hours have a 67% higher risk for developing coronary heart disease than people who work seven or eight hours. --There was such a high connection between long work hours and heart disease that the researchers believe it's on the same level as other more common predictors like cholesterol levels, blood pressure, and smoking. (WebMD)



Don't Worry, Your Boss Doesn't Want To Be Facebook Friends With You, Either:


Unless you live a pure, wholesome, borderline-Amish life, it's best if you make your Facebook profile private. ESPECIALLY from the people who sign your paycheck. --And don't worry that your boss will be UPSET if you're not Facebook friends with him. Or her. Because THEY don't really want YOU seeing their private life either. --A new survey found 43% of workers said they feel uncomfortable being connected to their boss on Facebook. Bosses were even LESS into it . . . 47% of bosses said they were uncomfortable being friends with their employees. --As for whether you should be Facebook friends with your co-workers . . . 26% of people said they're even uncomfortable with THAT. (



Great Moments in Facebook . . . Benihana Catches a Guy Bragging About Abusing Their Birthday Coupons Program:


OK, we can't guarantee this is real . . . but let's pretend it is, so we can enjoy it in full. We've got a screen capture from Facebook that is just glorious. --A guy named Jason posted a Facebook status update saying, quote, "Free lunch at Benihana! Still using up these birthday coupons." He linked to Benihana in the status update . . . which apparently brought it to their attention. --A few minutes later, Benihina posted a response. Quote, "There is only one certificate per person, Jason . . . this is a violation of the terms and conditions of The Chef's Table program and your certificate will be declined." (Lamebook) (--See this here.)



16% of Women Would Trade a Year of Their Life For a Perfect Body . . . And 1% of Women Would Trade 21 Years of Their Life:


No matter how chubby this world gets, it seems like we're still somehow making people PSYCHOTICALLY believe their bodies aren't good enough. -According to a new survey of women with an average age of 25 . . . a HUGE number of them are willing to do CRAZY things for a perfect body. --In the survey, 16% of women said they'd trade a year of their life for a perfect body . . . 10% would trade two to five years . . . 2% would trade TEN years . . . and 1% say they'd give up TWENTY-ONE YEARS OF THEIR LIVES for a perfect body. --There's more. 13% say they'd give up $8,000 for a perfect body . . . 8% would give up a promotion . . . and 6% would give up their degree. 7% say they'd be willing to spend less time with their family. --78% of the women in the survey were normal weight or underweight . . . but 79% said they wanted to lose weight. --For all the chubby chasers out there . . . 3% did say they want to GAIN weight. --Only 7% of the women surveyed didn't have any negative thoughts about their appearance in the last week. (MNN)



Cosmetic Surgery For Children and Teens is Up 30% . . . Is That a Response To Bullying?


Here's another example of just how BAD the bullying epidemic is getting. According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, more and more KIDS and TEENS are getting cosmetic surgery . . . and a lot of it is a response to bullying. --In other words . . . if other kids won't stop making fun of your kid's nose, you get him a nose job. Or you get his ears pinned back, his boy boobs removed, whatever. --In the past decade, cosmetic surgery for kids under 18 is up 30%. There's no word on how much of that is directly related to bullying, but experts believe it's the significant driving force behind the increase. (ABC News)





How is This Justice? A Disabled Grandfather Will Be Tried For Beating Up a Man Who Molested His Granddaughter:


With the amount of real criminals out there, why in the HELL are they going after this guy? --57-year-old Frank Hebert of Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts is a paraplegic . . . he's been in a wheelchair ever since a car accident 10 years ago. --Last month, he found out that a 27-year-old man named Joshua Hardy had allegedly molested his three-year-old granddaughter. --So Frank set a trap. He convinced Hardy to come to his computer store. When Hardy got there, Frank beat him with a BASEBALL BAT until the cops showed up. --Hardy was arrested for three counts of indecent assault and battery on a child under 14, one count of enticing a child, and one count of disseminating obscene material. --And now . . . the district attorney is going after FRANK. --They're pushing through a felony assault charge that could put him in prison for up to 10 years for beating up the man who molested his three-year-old granddaughter. He's due in court on May 2nd for a pretrial conference. --Frank says, quote, "I'm not a hero . . . [but] I'd do it again tomorrow, knowing the consequence. This is not about me. This is about a tiny child. I would never tell her I took a risk for her. I'd tell her I loved her." (Boston Herald)





A Drunk Woman Takes Off Her Clothes To "Conceal Her Scent" From a Police Dog . . . But It Doesn't Work:


I love it when a police chase takes a twist into the SEXY. --Last week, 25-year-old Angela Ferranti of Port St. Lucie, Florida was driving drunk and crashed into the median. She ran from the scene, as did her boyfriend who was in the passenger seat. --And Angela came up with a brilliant idea. At least, an idea that SEEMS like a brilliant idea when you're drunk and running from an accident. --She figured the police would send the K-9 unit out to hunt her down, and she wanted to hide her scent. So she STRIPPED DOWN to her bra and underwear, threw her clothes all over the place, and kept running. --Unfortunately for Angela, police dogs can't be fooled THAT easily . . . and one named Kilo tracked her down, hiding in the woods, mostly naked. --Angela admitted to the cops that she got in her car after drinking four beers and one and a half, quote, "cranberry vodkas." --She was arrested for DUI and leaving the scene of an accident. They also found some marijuana residue in a pipe in her car, so she was also busted for possession of drug paraphernalia. (Treasure Coast Palm)New York Busts a State Employee Who Illegally Took Off Every Single Friday . . . For 17 Years:


If you've ever wondered just how LITTLE attention the government is paying to its employees, here's your answer. --64-year-old Howard Dean was the director of the New York Department of Corrections Food Production Center. He didn't like working Fridays. So he illegally stopped showing up to work on Fridays. --How long did it take the state to notice? SEVENTEEN YEARS. --He took off every single Friday from 1993 until he was busted. All told, that was worth about $230,000 of the taxpayers' money. Plus, since he was accruing vacation time as if he was working five days a week, that's another $18,000.--Dean also reported $205,000 in travel reimbursements for trips he never took . . . $32,000 in expenses for a vehicle he never drove . . . $7,300 for expenses he never spent . . . and $1,800 meals he never ate. --Dean was making an annual salary of $112,743 for running the state's prison food system. --The state finally caught him during an audit. Not sure why they only audit their upper management once every two decades or so, but never underestimate just how slow things happen in government bureaucracy. --Dean took a plea and will do six months in jail, then five years of probation. He also has to start paying back all of the money he stole. (New York Post)






A 36-year-old in Oakland Park, Florida stole a 12-pack of beer from a gas station, but tried to make his getaway in a car with a donut spare tire. The cops never even chased him, but he lost control of the car, crashed, wrapped it around a palm tree, and died. (Full Story)




You can tell why the nerds at the University of Wollongong in Australia went through with this study last July: They had women jog on a treadmill, and determined that, quote, "The design features of greater breast elevation and compression provided significantly increased breast and bra comfort . . . during physical activity for women with large breasts." (Full Story)



A 48-year-old baggage handler at Dulles airport fell 20 feet to his death last Friday. And at first, his fellow employees ignored him lying face down on the pavement . . . because they thought it was an April Fools' Day prank. (Full Story)



The parents of a girl in Germany wouldn't buy her a horse . . . so she trained a cow to do equestrian tricks. (Full Story)



The Bronx Zoo and the "New York Daily News" ran a contest where you could vote on a name for the stupid cobra that escaped last week. The choices were Agnes, Amaunet, Cleopatra, Subira, and Mia. Voting is now closed, and they'll announce the name tomorrow. So, we all have THAT to look forward to. (Full Story)



Check out some facts about teen pregnancy, from the website Inspiring 80% of teen moms are unmarried, 75% live on government support, 4 out of 10 girls experience at least one pregnancy before they turn 20, and 8 of 10 of those are accidental. (Full Story)



Check out Yahoo's list of the eight most outrageous perks given to U.S. executives in history, including a $1 million birthday party, and use of a company jet to take a daughter back and forth to college. (Full Story)



The new plastic surgery record holder is 55-year-old Cindy Jackson. She was born in Ohio, lives in London, and has spent $100,000 on 54 procedures over the past three decades, including five facelifts. (Full Story)



A new study finds that preventing smoking and obesity could cost the government millions . . . because people will live longer. (Full Story)



#1.) Check Out the Auditions to Be the New Voice of the Aflac Duck:


Aflac is still looking for someone to replace GILBERT GOTTFRIED as the voice of the Aflac duck, and CNN posted a video of people trying out. --A few of them aren't bad, and there are a couple decent Donald Duck impressions mixed in. But I think it's safe to say that, so far, none of them have what it takes.

(--Search for "Search for the Next Aflac Duck.")



#2.) Here's a Remake of the Twin Babies Having a Conversation . . . Starring Michael Chiklis and Patton Oswalt in Diapers:


That video of the twin babies having a conversation has gotten over 15 million views on YouTube. And now there's a FunnyOrDie remake that features actor MICHAEL CHIKLIS and comedian PATTON OSWALT wearing nothing but diapers and socks. --They basically just copied it "word-for-word" . . . if that makes any sense . . . but it ends with Chilkis dropping an F-bomb and Oswald drinking a beer. (--Search for "Twin Men Have a Conversation." Chiklis drops the F-bomb at 1:25, and Oswalt grabs the beer at 1:37.)
(--WARNING: This video includes the F-word.)



#3.) A Yankees Fan Fell Asleep at a Game . . . So the Guy Sitting Behind Him Started Stacking Plastic Cups on His Head:


Some guy fell asleep at a Yankees game the other day, so the guy sitting behind him started stacking plastic beer cups on his head. When he got three stacked up, the people around him started cheering. Then he tried for four but couldn't do it. (--Search for "Yankee Cup Stack." He places the third cup at :05, starts stacking again at :35, and tries for a fourth at :57.)



#4.) A Girl Posted a Video of Herself Covering Eminem . . . But She Looks EXACTLY Like Justin Bieber:


In case you're not aware, there's a whole website dedicated to "Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber". But the girl who's currently at the top of the site looks so much like him, it's scary. --Her name is Dani Shay . . . and we have no idea if she's gay or not . . . but a YouTube video of her covering the EMINEM song "Love the Way You Lie" is getting a lot of attention. --Apparently she's aware of the resemblance, because she also posted a video in December where she sang the song "Baby", but changed the lyrics and made them about people who see her on the street and mistake her for Bieber. (--Search for "Dani Shay Love the Way You Lie" and "Dani Shay What the Hell." --WARNING: The first video includes the F-word and "pissed", and the second video includes the word "hell".)



#5.) Check Out Some Local News Anchors Playing April Fools' Pranks Live on the Air:


The other day, JIMMY KIMMEL featured a video of a local news anchor in New York playing an April Fools' Day prank on his female co-host by putting on a monkey mask when she wasn't looking. But this one might be even better: --A news team in San Diego pranked an anchor named SHALLY ZOMORODI by running a fake news report and convincing her there was a new app that lets you smell and taste things that are displayed on the screen of your iPad. --She was kind of reluctant to try it, but eventually they got her to lick the screen. Then she found out it was a joke, cracked up, and started wandering around the studio.

(--Search for "San Diego News Team Prank." She licks it at 1:12.)



#6.) A Baby Slides Down an Entire Flight of Stairs . . . Just to Get His Bottle:


There's a new baby video on YouTube that's pretty amusing, and you really gotta hand it to this kid . . . no flight of stairs is going to keep him away from his mother's delicious breast milk. --He slides down an entire flight of stairs on his belly . . . feet first . . . to get his bottle. It doesn't look that safe, but at least the stairs are carpeted. They also made an alternate version where the video plays in reverse, and it looks like the kid slides up the stairs. (--Both videos are funny, but both also kinda remind me of the "Spider Walk" scene from the 'Director's Cut' of "The Exorcist".) (--Search YouTube for "Baby on a Mission." You can watch the version where the baby goes in reverse at "Baby on a Mission [REVERSE].")

Four Steps for How to Break Bad News:


Being the bearer of bad news is never fun, but if you do it wrong it can be even worse. So here are four steps to help you deliver bad news in the best way possible.


Step One: Drop a Warning. Tell the person they should sit down, or just say you need to talk about something serious. It probably won't make the bad news any easier to hear, but it's better than just blurting it out.


Step Two: Don't Beat Around the Bush. Once you've dropped a warning, tell them what they need to hear in plain English, using as few words as possible. If you're vague or you don't tell them right away, they'll be confused and frustrated.


Step Three: Don't Try to Soften the Blow. A lot of people end up hedging the bad news with something that's not really true because they feel guilty and want to make the person feel better. --It's a natural reaction, but it can undermine the whole point of telling them bad news in the first place. --Even doctors do it: According to a recent study, as many as one-in-four cancer specialists will give a patient bad news, then follow it up with something that softens the blow, whether it's accurate or not.


Step Four: Be More Than Just the Messenger. Once the person hears the news, they might need to talk. So prepare yourself to be supportive. --One situation when you might NOT want to offer support is if you're breaking up with the person. In that case, don't try to be a shoulder to cry on because it'll just make them angrier. (


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