Thursday, May 5, 2011



President Obama Won't Release Photos of Bin Laden's Body Because "We Don't Need To Spike the Football":

Ever since OSAMA BIN LADEN was taken out, one of the biggest questions has been whether we're going to see photos of the body or not. Yesterday, PRESIDENT OBAMA answered the question. And the answer is NO. --His press secretary, Jay Carney, says Obama told him, quote, "We don't trot out this stuff as trophies." In a separate interview, Obama said, quote, "This is somebody who was deserving of the justice he received. But we don't need to spike the football." --Obama's decision not to release the photos also seemed to FINALLY give some of his critics a chance to bash him . . . which has been tough to do over the past few days. --SARAH PALIN quickly Tweeted, quote, "Show photo as warning to others seeking America's destruction. No pussy-footing around, no politicking, no drama. It's part of the mission." --Senator LINDSEY GRAHAM said, quote, "It's a mistake. The whole purpose of sending our soldiers into the compound, rather than an aerial bombardment, was to obtain indisputable proof of bin Laden's death." --A few high-ranking Republicans took Obama's side, like Speaker of the House JOHN BOEHNER, and chairman of the Homeland Security Committee, PETER KING. --Some very graphic photos did leak out yesterday. They're from right after the raid and show three men, dead and bloodied from the raid . . . but none of them are photos of bin Laden. (--You can see them here. WARNING: THEY'RE GRAPHIC.)

Is Al Qaeda Falling Apart? One of the Most-Wanted Members Just Surrendered:

They say that you kill the snake by chopping off the head. And even though people debate how much power OSAMA BIN LADEN had in Al Qaeda at this point . . . we're still seeing signs that, yeah, we chopped off the damn head. --On Wednesday, Saudi Arabia announced that one of the highest-ranking Al Qaeda members who's still out there . . . and one of the most-wanted terrorists worldwide . . . just surrendered to them. --His name is Khaled Hathal Abdullah al-Atifi al-Qahtani. He's a Saudi native, and the name of the country he's been hiding in wasn't released . . . but in the wake of bin Laden's death, he called the Saudis to surrender and return to the country. --Of course, even without bin Laden or this a-hole, Al Qaeda is still going . . . but it's clear we're making significant progress in wiping them out.

61% of Americans Believe Bin Laden's In Hell:

I'm not sure how CNN plans to fact-check the results of this poll, but I'm not gonna argue with it. CNN ran a nationwide poll on Tuesday asking Americans if we think OSAMA BIN LADEN is in HELL. And 61% of us say hell, yeah. --10% said no, I don't think he's in hell. The rest said they're unsure. There was no difference among different political parties.


Elisabeth Hasselbeck Wrote A Poem to Help People Explain Osama Bin Laden's Death to Children . . . We Think, and Hope, She Was Joking:

Yesterday on "The View", ELISABETH HASSELBECK unveiled a poem she wrote that helps explain the killing of OSAMA BIN LADEN to children. It goes like this . . .

Osama Bin Laden was a very bad guy
He hurt many people, don't ask me why
We shot him in the head and now he is dead
Now close your eyes and go to bed
(--Here's video of Elisabeth reciting her poem.)
--We're pretty sure Elisabeth was JOKING. Her tone didn't seem all that serious. And we should note that HER kids are too young to ask about Osama, so she doesn't have to read it to them.

Here's a New Video of Will Ferrell as George W. Bush:

WILL FERRELL has posted a new video as GEORGE W. BUSH . . . announcing from a Sizzler Steak House that he successfully launched a covert operation to take out his enemy, Ardilla the Gopher. (--Check it out here.)

Marie Osmond Remarried Her First Husband:

MARIE OSMOND remarried her first husband, Stephen Craig, in Las Vegas yesterday. Marie and Stephen were originally married from 1982 to 1985. They have a 28-year-old son. Marie is 51 . . . Stephen is 54. (--There's no word if, like Lorenzo Lamas, Marie will also change her last name to Craig.) --They were marred at the Las Vegas Mormon Temple . . . and Marie wore the same dress she wore when she first married Stephen almost 30 years ago. --After she and Stephen split, Marie married Brian Blosil almost immediately. They were together from 1986 to 2007 and had seven children: Two biological and five adopted. --One of those adopted children, Michael Blosil, committed suicide in February of 2010. Yesterday would have been his 20th birthday . . . as well as the birthday of Marie's late mother, Olive. That's why she chose it as her wedding day. --She said, quote, "It was important that both Michael and my mom were with us on this special day." --She also said, quote, "I am so happy and look forward to sharing my life with Stephen, who is an amazing man as well as a great father to my children." --Stephen reportedly helped Marie get through Michael's death. --While they stayed friendly in the years since their split, TMZ claims that when Marie originally filed for divorce from Stephen, she cited MENTAL CRUELTY. --Still, Marie's brother DONNY was at the ceremony, and he's PSYCHED to welcome Stephen back into the family. He said, quote, "I was hoping Steve would be my brother-in-law again. --"Steve has always been a very special part of Marie's heart. It was a perfect Cinderella story with a fairytale ending. They were sealed together again, forever."

Tony Romo Is Getting Married on May 24th:

Dallas Cowboys quarterback TONY ROMO will marry CANDICE CRAWFORD . . . sister of "Gossip Girl" star CHACE CRAWFORD . . . on May 24th. It'll happen at a place called Arlington Hall Mansion in Dallas. --Tony and Candice have been dating since the summer of 2009.

Celebrity Cellulite: Jennifer Lopez Edition:

A picture of JENNIFER LOPEZ has popped up online, in which she's rockin' a little CELLULITE. (--You can check it out, here.) (HollywoodLife)

(NC-17) Some Naughty Photos of Kate Middleton's Brother Are Hot Again Thanks to the Royal Wedding:

Some naughty pics of KATE MIDDLETON'S brother JAMES messing around with his friends are gaining popularity, thanks to Kate's marriage to PRINCE WILLIAM last Friday. --The pictures aren't new, but the interest in them is. Especially in places like America, where nobody knows who the guy is, but everyone is suddenly interested in Kate and her family. --The photos include several MOON shots . . . plus one in which James is TOTALLY NAKED . . . but he has his legs crossed so you can't see his crown jewels. (CAREFUL!)--There's also one in which three guys are dressed as French maids and one of them is simulating oral sex on another dude. --James is 23 now. The pics were allegedly taken during his first year of college.

And Now . . . A Picture of Kate Middleton's Sister Pippa In Her Bra, Dancing with a Shirtless Guy:

Thanks to the Royal Wedding, everyone in the world now knows about KATE MIDDLETON'S smokin' hot 27-year-old sister PIPPA. There's an upside to that . . . but there's also a downside. --The downside is that she's under the microscope now. And she should be getting her first taste of that right about now. --Two pictures surfaced yesterday of Pippa partying down. In one of them, she's wearing just a skirt and a bra . . . and dancing with a guy who seems to be wearing only his boxers. --In the other, she's in someone's living room at what looks like some kind of party. She's wearing a tiny white dress, she's on her knees and bottles of booze are visible. --There's no word when the pictures were taken. --There's nothing horribly scandalous about them . . . but again, since she's now an international celebrity AND kind of a member of Britain's Royal Family, these kinds of things are never going to go unnoticed. (--Check 'em out here.) (Us Weekly)
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Named Their Kids Moroccan and Monroe:

The twins of NICK CANNON and MARIAH CAREY never had a shot at having normal names, did they? The names were announced yesterday, and they're predictably tragic. --The girl's name is Monroe, and the boy's is Moroccan Scott. --Moroccan is named after the Moroccan Room, which is what Mariah calls the top floor of her Manhattan apartment, because it's Moroccan-themed. Scott is Nick's middle name. --As for Monroe, she's named after MARILYN MONROE. She doesn't have a middle name because Mariah doesn't, either.

Michael Jackson's Mom Says Her Son Was Not a Child Molester:

On the "Today" show yesterday, KATHERINE JACKSON said her son MICHAEL was NOT a child molester. And he only paid his 1993 accuser off because his lawyers told him to. -She said, quote, "As far as Michael being a child molester . . . that's the biggest lie ever been told." (--Watch the video here.)

Oksana Grigorieva Has Dropped Her Domestic Violence Allegations Against Mel Gibson:

After all the insanity she put us through with those taped phone conversations, OKSANA GRIGORIEVA has dropped her domestic violence allegations against MEL GIBSON. --The allegations are part of her ongoing custody case with Mel . . . which is playing out in civil court. --Oksana dropped them because it allows her to communicate with Mel on a more personal level . . . which she hopes will help them settle their differences over custody of their 18-month-old daughter Lucia. --With those allegations still in place, there are restrictions on how much contact Mel can have with Oksana. --This has no effect on the CRIMINAL case, though . . . because that's already settled. Mel pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor battery charge back in March. --He was given three years' probation and ordered to complete a year of anger-management counseling. (--There's no word if Oksana waited until after Mel settled the criminal case to drop the allegations in civil court. But if she did, that's pretty devious. You have to respect the cold-bloodedness of it.) (???) (--Regardless of Oksana's intent, Mel has to be pretty happy about the timing. His new movie "The Beaver" is slowly hitting theaters this month. It'll be out in 20 locations this week, and expand to more theaters on May 20th.)

Jackie Cooper . . . From the "Little Rascals" and the Christopher Reeve "Superman" Movies . . . Has Died:

Old-school actor JACKIE COOPER died Tuesday after a brief, unspecified illness. He was 89 years old. --Cooper is probably best known for playing Perry White, the editor of the "Daily Planet" newspaper, in the CHRISTOPHER REEVE "Superman" movies. --Cooper started out as a child actor. He was a member of the "Our Gang" (slash) "Little Rascals" clan from 1929 to 1931. (--This was before the Spanky / Alfalfa / Buckwheat / Darla years. He worked with the old-school rascals like Stymie, Farina and Chubsy Ubsy.) (???) --Jackie also holds the record for the youngest person to ever have been nominated for the Best Actor Oscar. He got the nod when he was just NINE YEARS OLD, for the 1931 film "Skippy". --He continued acting in film and television through 1990. In the '70s, he won two Emmys as a DIRECTOR . . . for episodes of "M*A*S*H" and "The White Shadow". --He also directed episodes of "Magnum P.I.", "The Mary Tyler Moore Show", "The Rockford Files" and "Cagney & Lacey", among others. --And he served with the Navy in the South Pacific during World War 2.

How Charlie Sheen Got Tom Sizemore to Go To Rehab:

In the new "Vanity Fair", TOM SIZEMORE reveals how CHARLIE SHEEN got him to go to rehab back in the day. (--Charlie was sober back then . . . and since, both guys have gone back and forth in their battles with addiction.) --Tom says, quote, "I get a honking at my gate, and a girl I was seeing runs down and runs back and says, 'It's Charlie Sheen.' So they let him in, and he went into my backyard, and he sat there for two days." --Tom tried to ignore him, but Charlie stuck around. He told him, quote, "Tom, come over here and talk to me. Let me take you to [rehab centers] Promises or to Exodus. Let's just go." --Instead, Tom snuck out his front door, but when he came back at five in the morning, Charlie was still there. --Eventually, Charlie wrote him a note that said, quote, "I don't know how deeply enmeshed you are with the dope. But I know this: the only thing one can do when one starts doing dope the way you do and I do is stop. --"Otherwise, you're going to ruin your life and career, go to prison, have a terrible life, or all of the above. Here's my number. Call me.'" (--Speaking of Charlie . . . he's making good on his promise to help the tornado victims in Alabama. He just launched a website called

"Thor", "The Beaver", or "Hobo With a Shotgun" . . . I'm So Torn!

#1.) "Thor" (PG-13)

The latest Marvel Comics movie stars Chris Hemsworth as Thor, the Norse god of thunder. He's banished to Earth and stripped of his powers after he reignites an ancient war in Asgard, the world of the gods. --Natalie Portman is one of the scientists who finds him, and Anthony Hopkins plays Odin, the father of the gods back in Asgard. (--Another one of the main gods is a black guy, which the white power crowd wasn't too happy about.) (Trailer) --Chris Hemsworth will be back as Thor for "The Avengers" movie that comes out next May . . . with Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, Chris Evans as Captain America and Mark Ruffalo taking over as The Hulk. --Samuel L. Jackson ties all the movies together as Nick Fury, and he'll have a cameo at the end of this one just like he did in the last "Iron Man". You'll also get to see him in the "Captain America" movie in July.

#2.) "Something Borrowed" (PG-13)

A romantic comedy starring "Big Love's" Ginnifer Goodwin as a chick who gets drunk and sleeps with the guy she's had a crush on since law school. Unfortunately, he's engaged to marry her best friend, played by Kate Hudson. --John Krasinski from "The Office" is in it too, but he's not the one they're fighting over. That guy's played by Colin Egglesfield, who you may remember as Auggie on "Melrose Place" or Josh Madden on "All My Children". (Trailer)

#3.) "Jumping the Broom" (PG-13)

A comedy about two black families about to be joined by marriage. The bride's family is ultra-rich and wants the ceremony to be held in Martha's Vineyard. The groom's family is working class, and you can guess how that goes over with them. --Paula Patton is the bride, Angela Bassett plays her mom, and the rest of the bride's family includes Romeo and the lovely Meaghan Good. "Modern Family's" Julie Bowen has an amusing role as their very white wedding planner. (Trailer) (--The movie's title is from an old tradition where couples commit to each other by jumping over a broom.)

#4.) "The Beaver" (PG-13) (Limited . . . it expands to more theaters on May 20th)

Mel Gibson plays a guy who's so depressed that he walks around with a beaver puppet on his hand, and only communicates with people through the puppet as part of his therapy. (Photo) Jodie Foster directed it and she also plays his wife. --Their son is played by Anton Yelchin . . . the guy who was Chekov in "Star Trek" and Kyle Reese in "Terminator Salvation". (Trailer)

#5.) "Hobo With a Shotgun" (R) (Limited)

A truly AWESOME movie based on a trailer that's included on the Blu-ray edition of "Grindhouse". Rutger Hauer plays the vigilante hobo who unleashes homeless vengeance upon crooked cops, street gangs, and even a pedophile Santa. (Trailer) (--Here's an UNRATED Trailer, with an extra 30 seconds of violent content . . . including the decapitation of the guy whose head is in the manhole cover. And you can see the new Red Band Trailer showing on the official site here.) (--"Hobo With a Shotgun" has been playing On Demand on cable systems for a while now, and I can honestly say it's AMAZING. It's utterly and completely mental, but in the best possible way. See it!)

Kelly Preston Will Play John Travolta's Wife in the Gotti Movie . . . and Their Daughter Will Play . . . Their Daughter:

Real life husband and wife JOHN TRAVOLTA and KELLY PRESTON will play ANOTHER real life husband and wife in "Gotti: Three Generations". --Kelly just signed on to play VICTORIA GOTTI . . . the wife of the late mob boss JOHN GOTTI SR. (--John and Victoria also had kids named John and Victoria. Yeah, this could get confusing.) --On top of that, John and Kelly's 11-year-old daughter Ella Bleu will play the Gottis' daughter Angel. --One of the producers says, quote, "The love and passion between John and Kelly will bring a huge benefit to John Sr. and his wife, and to tell you the truth, they have a lot in common. --"They both lost a child at a young age and they understand what the Gottis went through when the Gottis lost their child." (--In 1980, the Gottis' 12-year-old son Frank was run over and killed by a neighbor. It was an accident, and the guy apologized . . . but he later disappeared for good, if you know what I mean.) (--In January of 2009, John and Kelly lost their 16-year-old son Jett. He died after suffering a seizure during a vacation in the Bahamas.)

Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Doing a Drama About a Kidnapper:

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S first movie since leaving the governor's mansion will reportedly be "Cry Macho". It's about a down-on-his-luck horse trainer who is hired to kidnap a 9-year-old boy. --While there will be some action, the movie is being described as more of a drama (slash) character study . . . with Arnold developing a father-son bond with the boy he kidnaps. It's based on a 1975 novel of the same name by N. Richard Nash. --Arnold is also attached to a fifth "Terminator" movie . . . although there's no deal yet to make that one.

Check Out New Trailers for "Conan the Barbarian" and "The Green Lantern":

#1.) The trailer for "Conan the Barbarian" has hit the web. The movie comes out in August and stars JASON MOMOA as Conan. (--Check it out here.)

#2.) "Green Lantern" drops into theaters on June 17th. And a new trailer dropped onto the Internet yesterday. (--You'll find it here.)

MTV Is Giving "The Situation" His Own "Jersey Shore" Spin-Off:

For some people, the "Jersey Shore" phenomenon was played-out after just a few episodes. But apparently, most people are still on the bandwagon . . . all you have to do is look at the ratings. --But we're about to find out just how much tolerance America has for these kids, because a THIRD spin-off is now in the works. This one stars THE SITUATION. --MTV has announced that they've entered a development deal with The Situation, although there aren't any specific details yet. --Last month, MTV said SNOOKI and JWOWW would have their own spin-off, "about their life away from" home . . . and PAULY D is getting a show, too. (--If MTV has the capacity to show mercy . . . and I'm not sure that they do . . . these spin-offs could spell the end of the original "Jersey Shore". But there will be at least one more season, which premieres sometime this fall.) (--In Season Four, we'll once again be afforded the opportunity to observe the cast being embarrassingly drunk and obnoxious . . . but this time, part of the season will actually be shot in Florence, Italy.)

A "Glee" 3D Concert Movie Will Hit Theaters in August:

The producers of "Glee" have announced that they're putting together a 3D concert movie, which will hit theaters on August 12th. The movie, "Glee Live! 3D!" will feature footage from the upcoming "Glee" Live! In Concert! tour. --At least for now, it's only scheduled for a limited, two-week run. --If you're like me, your first question is: Why is this happening? --Well, aside from the obvious, unspoken objective of making money . . . "Glee" creator Ryan Murphy says they're doing it because, quote, "We knew that not every fan who wanted to attend a concert would get that opportunity." --He explains that the tour had to be streamlined, quote, "due to the limited time we had to travel during our hiatus" between seasons. --The "Glee" live tour runs from May 21st through June 18th. It'll include 27 North American shows, but they'll only be hitting 18 cities and just 15 general areas. --In fact, all the dates are located in either California, Las Vegas, the Midwest, the East Coast, or Toronto. The tour ends with three U.K. shows at the end of June. (--For what it's worth, the "Glee" tour is NOT hitting up a SINGLE RED STATE . . . at least according to the 2008 Presidential Election. Coincidence?)

Katie Couric's Negotiations to Remain at CBS to Do a Talk Show Are Dead . . . And Now She May Be Headed to ABC:

Now that the titillating saga of whether or not KATIE COURIC would leave the "CBS Evening News" is over . . . the next surely-engaging storyline has begun. (--It's like this is "Katie Couric's Future; The Girl Who Played with Fire".) --Katie . . . unofficially, at least . . . would like to host a daytime talk show on a network, while picking up odd jobs with that network's news division. Her first choice was to stay at CBS, where she could do a show and contribute to "60 Minutes". --But the "Hollywood Reporter" claims CBS has backed out of the negotiations . . . because Katie was asking for TOO much. Supposedly, Katie's demands had more to do with increasing her news presence than anything involving her talk show. --A "source" says CBS was also concerned that if Katie put too much emphasis on the news stuff, she wouldn't, quote, "put in the commitment it takes to do 35 to 39 weeks a year of original programming day-in and day-out on a talk show." --Katie's next stop is believed to be ABC. She reportedly isn't interested in CNN . . . and NBC has dropped out of the running for her services. (--Feel free to sit back and get comfortable with this one. If CBS is out of the picture, Katie isn't expected to sign with another network until after June 5th, when her "CBS Evening News" contract is up.)

Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"American Idol" [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"Community" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on NBC. (--Anthony Michael Hall and "Lost's" Josh Holloway guest star as mystery participants in a heated paintball battle during a campus picnic.)

--"The Office" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on NBC. (--Deangelo begins to display his true managerial manner when he creates an inner circle by playing favorites.)

--"Grey's Anatomy" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--As Callie and Arizona's wedding day nears they find themselves trying to please everyone but themselves.)

--"Nikita" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW. (--Nikita kidnaps a CIA cryptographer who is capable of decrypting the black boxes in order to protect him. He's played by "Mad Men's" Rich Sommer.)

--"30 Rock" [5th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on NBC.

--"Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV. (--The remaining six dance crews choreograph routines with inspiration from Rihanna.)

--"Pawn Queens" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TLC. (--The latest in reality entertainment is about Minda Grabiec and Nikki Ruehl, who are the proud owners of the nation's first female-owned pawn shop.)

Lady Gaga Debuted "Americano" at a Concert in Mexico; It's a Song About Bilingual Outlaw Love:

LADY GAGA debuted a new song called "Americano" at her show in Guadalajara, Mexico, on Tuesday night . . . which is appropriate, because the song seems to be about bilingual, outlaw love. --Some of the lyrics are in Spanish . . . including "Mis canciones son de la revolucion / Mi corazon late por mi generacion," which translates to "My songs are of the revolution / My heart beats for my generation." --She later sings, quote, "If you love me / We can marry on the West Coast / On a Wednesday / En el verano o en agosto." That's "In the summer or in August." (--In Mexico, "summer" and "August" are mutually exclusive, apparently.) --But "Americano's" West Coast love affair hits a snag, when Lady Gaga repeatedly sings the lyrics: "I don't speak your language, oh no." (???) And "I don't speak your Jesus Cristo." --The narrative seems to derail a little after that . . . at least, to me . . . when Lady Gaga yells, quote, "Aaaahhh America, Americano" repeatedly . . . and later sings, quote, "Don't you try to catch me / No, no, no / I'm living on the edge of / Living on the edge of the law, law, law." --As if that isn't intriguing enough . . . --Lady Gaga has described "Americano" as a, quote, "big mariachi techno-house record, where I am singing about immigration law and gay marriage and all sorts of things that have to do with disenfranchised communities in America." --But the version she performed on Tuesday night was a stripped down, almost acoustic version . . . not the "mariachi techno-house" beast that will appear on "Born This Way". (--Which hits stores on May 23rd.) (--Here's a fan-shot video of Lady Gaga's "Americano" performance.)

The "Songs for Japan" Compilation Has Raised $5 Million:

The "Songs for Japan" compilation . . . with songs from Lady Gaga, Madonna, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry and others . . . has already sold over 500,000 copies and raised $5 MILLION since it was released a month ago. --The Japanese Red Cross Society had already received a $2 million check from the album's proceeds . . . and another $3 million check was sent on Monday. Obviously, the money is being used for earthquake and tsunami relief.

Bret Michaels Has Released an Amusing Album of Vocal Exercises:

On Tuesday, POISON singer BRET MICHAELS put out an amusing album of vocal exercise instruction called "The Vocalizer: A Vocal Warm-Up for Real Life".--It's currently on-sale at iTunes for $11.99. --It features eight tracks . . . half of which are exercises for the four vocal types: Soprano, Alto, Tenor and Bass. You can sample each of the tracks at iTunes, here. (--The Track #2 sample is particularly fun. Bret does a tongue exercise, and introduces something called "The Suck Face", which involves puckering your lips and blowing through them.) (--I don't know how good Bret's vocal instruction is . . . or if it's even worth the $11.99 to find out . . . but it does make me think he might have actually made a good judge on "American Idol".) (--When I heard he was in the running for "Idol", I didn't think much of it . . . mostly because . . . at the time . . . everyone was talking about Bret because we were so excited that he wasn't dead.) (--But now, I don't know, maybe he could've been legit.)

Adele Is Still #1:

Not a single new album debuted in the Top 10 on the "Billboard" chart this week, which let ADELE hold on to the #1 spot. And it wasn't even close: Her album "21" sold 124,000 copies, while the #2 album, from THE FOO FIGHTERS, sold just 34,000. --The week's highest debut came from EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY, whose new album "Take Care, Take Care, Take Care" sold 19,000 copies down in 16th place. Here's the Top 10 . . .

1.) "21", Adele (124,000 copies)

2.) "Wasting Light", Foo Fighters (34,000 copies)

3.) "Sigh No More", Mumford & Sons (32,000 copies)

4.) "Femme Fatale", Britney Spears (30,000 copies)

5.) The soundtrack to the Disney Channel movie "Lemonade Mouth" (30,000 copies)

6.) "F.A.M.E.", Chris Brown (28,000 copies)

7.) The "Glee Presents the Warblers" soundtrack (28,000 copies)

8.) "Teenage Dream", Katy Perry (24,000 copies)

9.) "Rolling Papers", Wiz Khalifa (24,000 copies)

10.) "So Beautiful Or So What", Paul Simon (24,000 copies)

Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

According to "Vanity Fair", MICHAEL JACKSON, ELIZABETH TAYLOR and MARLON BRANDO got into a car after the 9/11 attacks and tried to drive back to the West Coast from New York City. And Michael and Liz got frustrated, because Brando kept making them stop at every Burger King and KFC. (Full Story)

ZSA ZSA GABOR'S husband said yesterday that DAVID HASSELHOFF'S ex-wife PAMELA BACH had agreed to carry a baby for him. Bach's rep later called him DELUSIONAL . . . and branded the story FICTION. (Full Story)

71-year-old "Monty Python" star JOHN CLEESE is getting some help paying alimony to his ex-wife. His 40-year-old girlfriend is doing NUDE MODELING to raise cash. (Full Story)

VINCENT PASTORE . . . who played "Big Pussy" on "The Sopranos" . . . is doing a VH1 reality show called "Famous Food". This past weekend, after filming an episode, a staffer refused to get Vinnie his car so he could drive home, because he supposedly had too much to drink. Vinnie went off on her . . . and of course, someone was there to get video. (Full Story)

CHRISTOPHER LLOYD, VING RHAMES and PAUL SCHEER are returning for the "Piranha 3DD". (--Obviously, they survived the original.) In this one, the fish invade a water park. GARY BUSEY is also in it. (Full Story)

"Entertainment Weekly" reports TED NUGENT will guest-star on an upcoming episode of "The Simpsons". He's playing himself . . . and he's running for president. The episode will air next season. (Full Story)

JENNY CONLEE . . . who plays accordion and keyboard in THE DECEMBERISTS . . . has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She's taking a break from the band, but the cancer was caught early, so the prognosis is good. (Full Story)

TMZ says EDDIE CIBRIAN'S ex-wife BRANDI GLANVILLE has joined the cast of "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills". Eddie left Brandi for LEANN RIMES . . . whom he married last month. (Full Story)

69% of Americans are Patriotic When It Comes To Choosing a Beer:

America's riding a strong wave of patriotism right now, and apparently that applies to getting hammered too: When the vast majority of the country drinks beer, they drink AMERICAN. --A new national survey by Rasmussen Reports found that 69% of Americans . . . that's more than two-thirds . . . choose a domestic beer over an import when they drink. 22% go for the import. -The rest either don't drink beer or don't have any preference. --But it's more divided when it comes to drinking a regular beer or a light one. Light actually gets more votes, 49% to 46%. --BUDWEISER was the most popular beer in the survey . . . 25% of people said that they'd choose a Bud or Bud Light. --Miller came in second, at 19%. Sam Adams was third at 7%. --Coors, Heineken, Corona, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Guinness all followed, getting between 3% and 6% of the vote. --The survey also found that women are more likely to go for a Bud while men are more likely to go for Miller. (Rasmussen Reports)

The Two Keys To a Good Relationship Are Paying the Bills On Time, and Knowing Each Other's Clothing Sizes:

According to a new study, having a good, satisfying relationship is EASY. All you've got to do is pay the bills on time and pay attention to how much your partner WEIGHS. --Dr. Robert Epstein is a psychologist from Harvard, and he just finished up a study that found there are really only TWO keys to a good relationship: Knowledge and life skills. --Knowledge includes things like your partner's likes and dislikes, their hopes and dreams, and yes, their weight and clothing sizes. --Life skills include things like paying the bills on time and managing stress. (--And, I'm assuming, bringing the heat in the bedroom.) --If you both focus on knowledge and life skills, you'll be SHOCKED at how much better your relationship will get and how satisfied you'll both be. --Epstein says the one you have to stay the most updated on is your partner's hopes and dreams. Those change and shift a lot, but if you know what they are, you can be more supportive . . . and understand your partner's behavior better. (Time)

The Average Man Says "I Love You" Six Weeks Earlier Than the Average Woman:

(--We've done stories before about how men say "I love you" first. But those were generally magazine surveys and this one's an actual scientific study, for whatever that's worth.) This study proves what we've always known about men. Deep down, all men have a romantic side . . . and the easiest way to crack through to that romantic side is to directly tie it to SEX. --In a new study in the "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology", two out of three couples reported that the man dropped the "I love you" bomb first. --When a man says "I love you" in a relationship, he does it six weeks earlier than in a relationship where the woman says it first. --BUT . . . his intentions might not exactly be pure. --Men were FAR more likely to say "I love you" first in relationships where there hadn't been any sex yet. In other words . . . yeah, he loves you, but he also subconsciously suspects that saying "I love you" will finally get him some action. (Chicago Sun-Times)

Doctor Is the Most Popular Profession In Romance Novels . . . Here's the Full Top 10:

Just because the health care system is jacked up, that doesn't make doctors any less SEXY. In fact, if a woman is going to FANTASIZE about a man who's either a doctor, or whatever it is YOU do . . . she's going doctor. --Two neuroscientists analyzed more than 15,000 romance novels to figure out the most popular professions for the male heroes featured in the books. And doctors were EASILY the number one pick. --Here's the full top 10 of the most common professions of the men in romance novels. So if you're in the market for a lonely, unsatisfied housewife who tries to lose herself in the world of fantasy . . . you might want to try one of these gigs.

#1.) Doctor

#2.) Cowboy

#3.) Boss

#4.) Prince

#5.) Rancher

#6.) Knight

#7.) Surgeon

#8.) King

#9.) Bodyguard

#10.) Sheriff


Women Have an Internal Clock That Operates Six Minutes Faster Than Men's:

THIS should explain why your wife or girlfriend always wants to wake up early on Saturday to do brunch and take on the day . . . when all you want to do is keep sleeping. --A study at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Massachusetts found that the average woman's internal clock runs about six minutes faster than the average man's. --A six-minute difference doesn't seem like much, but the researchers found it makes a huge difference. --Women are much more likely to identify themselves as "morning people" . . . have an easier time getting out of bed . . . and have more trouble staying up late when they're tired. It also leads to more insomnia in women. --The researchers say that if you are a woman who has trouble with insomnia or constant fatigue, one strategy is getting shades that make your bedroom go completely dark. --Your internal clock is tuned to need darkness earlier . . . so by blocking out all of the light, it makes it easier for you to go to sleep. (NPR)

Chatroulette Hired an Army of People To Monitor For Genitalia:

Remember Chatroulette? It blew up HUGE about a year ago . . . and then everyone seemed to abandon it just as quickly. And one of the big reasons was you were far too likely to end up seeing men's genitalia. --Well Chatroulette is still alive, but their traffic has leveled off and they want to get the audience back again. So they've finally taken a stronger approach to cleaning up the peen. --They've hired 32 full-time employees to actively monitor the site and block people who have been showing their junk. (--Yes, to put it another way, they've hired 32 professional jock-blockers.) --There's no word on HOW you get a job as a package hunter for Chatroulette . . . the site is based out of Russia and it's believed that all the hires are there. (TechCrunch)

Fill Up Your Rental Car's Tank Or You'll Be Paying $9-a-Gallon:

Rental car companies have always charged a major premium on gas if you return your car to them without topping off the tank. And now that gas already costs a fortune . . . the rental car companies have stayed right in stride. --A survey by "USA Today" found that if you don't return your rental car with a full tank, the average price they'll charge you per gallon is . . . NINE DOLLARS. --So if you rented an SUV with a 22-gallon tank and returned it basically bone dry, you'd owe them $200 for gas. (USA Today)


A Man Asks a Cop "Have You Ever Arrested Me?" . . . And the Cops Runs His Info, Finds Out He Has a Warrant, and Arrests Him:

We deal with plenty of criminals who are just asking to be caught. 23-year-old David Williams of Surprise, Arizona LITERALLY asked to be caught. --Last week, David spotted an officer in front of a convenience store. He asked the cop, "Have you ever arrested me before?" --The officer told David he didn't think he had, but he'd run David's name through the system just to check. --When the cop ran David's name, he found out David had an OUTSTANDING WARRANT from Pinetop, Arizona on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. --So the cop arrested him . . . and in the process, changed his answer to David's question from a "no" to a "yes." (Arizona Republic)
Three Burglars are Busted When One of Them Pocket Dials 911 . . . Just as They're Discussing Their Crimes:

These are three of the unluckiest criminals we've seen . . . and I say, if bad luck's going to happen to anyone, it might as well happen to people like this. --These three criminals were driving around Clay, New York robbing businesses and planning to rob more. They are 30-year-old Ronald Euson, his brother 29-year-old Thomas Euson Junior, and their cousin 29-year-old Allen Euson. --As the Eusons talked about what they'd just stolen and what they were planning to steal, one of them POCKET DIALED 911. Seriously. Somehow, of all the numbers he could've pocket dialed on his cell phone, he called 911. --So the cops got to listen in as the guys described what they'd stolen and what they planned to steal. --The police went ahead and pulled them over in their Kia Sportage. They found some stolen tools in the car and arrested all three men. --All three are facing felony charges of grand larceny and criminal possession of stolen property. (Syracuse Post-Standard)

Two Grandmothers, Ages 72 and 65, are Busted For Running a Major Reefer Operation Out of Their Home:

What kind of world do we live in when even those two sweet, Asian grandmas down the block are DRUG LORDS? --Last Friday, in San Bruno, California, two Asian grandmothers were busted for growing more than 800 marijuana plants in their home. They are 72-year-old Aleen Lam and 65-year-old Virginia Chan Pon. --The cops found the 800 plants, $3,000 in cash . . . and found that the ladies had an illegal bypass that was tapping into the electric company's lines to get free power. Both women were arrested. --The police might never have found them if two young punks . . . and by young, I mean young compared to the women . . . hadn't broken into the house to steal marijuana. Neighbors saw the break-in and called the police. --Police arrested the two people who broke in . . . 38-year-old Kitae Chae and 34-year-old Kenny Kong. They both had thousands of dollars of cash and marijuana on them when they were arrested. (Associated Press)

A 17-Year-Old Sees an Usher Having a Heart Attack Outside the Pittsburgh Pirates Stadium . . . Robs Him . . . and Leaves Him To Die:

It really SCARES and SADDENS me that there are kids out there who think like this. Someone really ought to slap this guy's parents. --On April 9th, a 17-year-old, whose name wasn't released, was near PNC Park in Pittsburgh after a Pittsburgh Pirates game. --He spotted a PNC Park usher having a HEART ATTACK in his car. The usher was 58-year-old Michael Schacht. --And the 17-year-old responded by . . . pulling Michael out of the car, going through his pockets, ROBBING HIM, stealing his car, and leaving him to die. --And Michael did die because no one else saw him, no one else called 911, no one else tried to get him to a hospital. --The idiot kid left his iPod behind when he abandoned the car the next day, and police used it to track him down. --He's been arrested with car theft and robbery as a juvenile. There are no charges for allowing another human being to die while you rob them. But there should be. (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

You knew this was coming . . . but some Native Americans are offended that the mission to kill bin Laden was called "Geronimo." (Full Story)

A new study aims to answer the important question: Do bicycle cops suffer from sexual dysfunction? They spend an average of 24 hours a week on bikes with traditional seats, which have been linked to erectile problems. The study says they should have special bikes with no nose on their seats. (Full Story)

Get your rest, because according to a random marriage website you've never heard of, next week is the second annual "Seven Days of Sex Challenge." Last year, they say they had over 130 couples from five countries join the challenge. (Full Story)

Check out a list from Harris Interactive of the 11 most hated U.S. companies. AIG is number one, followed by BP, Goldman Sachs, Citigroup, and Chrysler. (Full Story)

According to "Time" magazine, nudists are trying to recruit young members to the lifestyle, because supposedly it's in danger of dying out. (Full Story)

Breaking News! India has busted a prostitution ring in the city of . . . Pune.
(--Yeah, you know you're laughing.) (Full Story)

A guy in North Carolina who brutally killed and mutilated his roommate won't face the death penalty . . . because he was using Mucinex DM cough medicine at the time, and it can cause hallucinations? (Full Story)


#1.) Will Ferrell is Back as George Bush . . . Announcing That He Killed a Gopher in His Backyard:

There's a new video on where WILL FERRELL does George W. Bush responding to the death of bin Laden . . . by delivering a message from a buffet that he killed a gopher in his backyard. --At the end, a Secret Service guy tells him bin Laden is dead too, and he says, "Well, that's two good things." (--Search for "Bush Reacts to Osama bin Laden's Death."

#2.) Beyoncé Made a Surprise Visit to a Middle School in Harlem and Danced to the Song "Move Your Body":

BEYONCÉ is now involved with Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" obesity campaign, and she did a new version of the song "Get Me Bodied" called "Move Your Body". Michelle even danced to it the other day. --Anyway, a bunch of middle schoolers in Harlem were dancing to it in their gymnasium on Tuesday, and Beyoncé showed up and danced with them. (--Search YouTube for "Beyoncé Surprises Students at Harlem School." Beyoncé shows up at 1:38.)

#3.) The Former Governor of Florida Is Now Starring in an Ad for a Personal Injury Law Firm:

CHARLIE CRIST . . . who was Governor of Florida from 2007 until January of this year . . . is now a personal injury attorney, and he stars in a run-of-the-mill personal injury ad for a law firm called Morgan and Morgan. (--Search for "Charlie Crist's New TV Ad.")

#4.) Check out a Nerdy Looking Jerry Seinfeld in His First TV Appearance in 1977:

Before JERRY SEINFELD became one of the most famous nerdy Jewish comedians on the planet, he was an unknown nerdy Jewish comedian paying his dues. --And there's a great YouTube video that shows him in his first TV appearance in 1977. (--Search for "Jerry Seinfeld Clip From 1977." He shows up at :29.)

#5.) An Alligator Latched Onto the Front Bumper of a Cop Car . . . And the Cop Had to Back Up to Make It Let Go:

An alligator latched onto the front bumper of a cop car in Alachua, Florida . . . which is just north of Gainesville . . . and it wouldn't let go until the cop started backing up. You can check out the video on YouTube. (--Search for "Alligator Biting a Cop Car.")

#6.) A Guy Started Swinging His Lighter Around While He Was Singing Karaoke . . . And He Lit His Friend's Hair on Fire:

There's a video on YouTube called "Best Man Sets Groom's Hair on Fire", and that's exactly what happens. --They're singing "Piano Man" at a karaoke bar, then the guy holds his lighter in the air, and the groom must have been wearing a lot of hair gel. (--It happens at :07.)
Five Things You Didn't Know About Cinco de Mayo:

Today is Cinco de Mayo, so most people get hammered and don't actually understand what they're celebrating. So here are five things you didn't know about Cinco de Mayo.

#1.) It's Not Mexican Independence Day. Mexican Independence Day . . . or "Gritto de Delores" . . . is celebrated on September 16th, and it commemorates the day in 1810 when a Catholic priest declared war on Spain.

#2.) It Celebrates a Victory Over France. In 1861, Mexico defaulted on loans from a bunch of countries in Europe, so France invaded the next year. The French hadn't been beaten in 50 years, but on May 5th, 1862, the Mexicans won the Battle of Puebla. --The French took the country over a year later, but Cinco de Mayo celebrates the FIRST battle.

#3.) It's More Popular in the U.S. Than It Is in Mexico. It's not a national holiday In Mexico, and it's mostly celebrated by people near the city of Puebla, which is in the southeastern part of the country. --It only became popular in the U.S. in the 50's and 60's, partly because of FDR's 'Good Neighbor' policy of strengthening our ties with Latin America.

#4.) It's Also Popular in . . . Malta? Malta's an island nation in the Mediterranean Sea, just below Italy. And Cinco de Mayo is popular there too . . . but only because people in Malta supposedly LOVE Corona. --Corona's sold in over 150 countries, and it's the fifth best-selling beer in the world.

#5.) They Celebrate in Chandler, Arizona by Racing Chihuahuas. There's no real reason behind it. Other than the obvious reason that it's AWESOME. (

Mom’s Getting Pampered This Mother’s Day

Good news, moms: Mother’s Day spending is expected to return to 2008 levels, according to a National Retail Federation survey. The retail group said the average person celebrating the holiday is expected to spend $140.73 on gifts, up from $126.90 last year. Men will spend an average of $168.84 on the woman in their life this Mother’s Day; women will spend an average of $114.01. Other findings:

•13% of people plan on buying electronics, up from 9% last year. Those buying electronics will shell out $94.91 on smartphones, cameras and tablet devices, up from $87.70 last year.

•31.2% plan to buy mom silver, gold or diamonds, up 19% from last year. Total spending on jewelry is expected to reach $3 billion.

•54.7% will treat mom to a nice dinner or brunch, spending a total of $3.1 billion.

•31.8% of Americans will buy mom clothing or accessories ($1.3 billion total), and 64.9% will buy mom flowers ($1.9 billion). Consumers will also shell out $1.6 billion on gift cards and $1.2 billion on personal services such as a trip to a day spa.

•59.9% will shop for their mom; 19.6% will buy gifts for their wife; 9.6% for their daughter; 8.4% for their sister; 8% for their grandmother; 7.3% for a friend; and 1.8% for a godmother.


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