Monday, March 7, 2011



Charlie Sheen Did a 50-Minute Webcast Called "Sheen's Korner":

CHARLIE SHEEN had claimed that he was working on a deal with HBO for a show called "Sheen's Korner". And they were going to pay him $5 million an episode for 10 episodes. --Was that ever even remotely true? Probably not . . . because on Saturday, Charlie did a 50-minute webcast called "Sheen's Korner". And it's pretty obvious that HBO had NOTHING to do with it. --It was just Charlie in his house, babbling . . . while several of his parasites cheered him on. And it was BAD. --In one segment, Charlie did news stories about WINNERS . . . like an eagle that had crashed into a windshield, but recovered. --He also signed a picture of himself for an 80-year-old fan named "Josie Dimples" . . . who Tweeted Charlie that she's WINNING. --Charlie also talked about people who wish they were him: DR. DREW, NANCY GRACE and some addiction expert who weighed in on Charlie's case on a TV show. --And he revealed who HE'D like to trade places with . . . but only for 10 minutes: COLIN FARRELL, SEAN PENN and San Francisco Giants pitcher BRIAN WILSON. --Charlie also had some news that WESLEY SNIPES probably won't be too happy about. He identified his longtime friend TONY TODD as, quote, "the new face of Willie Mays Hayes" . . . if the new "Major League" movie ever gets made. --Willie Mays Hayes is the character Snipes played in the original. --Tony is probably most famous for playing the title character in the "Candyman" horror flicks. He's also the coroner, Mr. Bludworth, in some of the "Final Destination" movies. --He and Charlie have been friends for a long time. Tony was even in "Platoon" with Charlie back in 1986. --Charlie wrapped up the inaugural "Sheen's Korner" by reading some poetry from that book he published 20 years ago. And he closed with what will apparently be the show's catchphrase, "Psst . . . check it: Trolls beware." (???) (--You can check out the entire "Sheen's Korner" here. WARNING!!! It's an INCREDIBLE WASTE OF TIME. An isolated clip of Charlie unveiling the new "WINNING" tattoo on his left wrist can be found here.)

Charlie Sheen Temporarily Lost One of His Goddesses:

CHARLIE SHEEN temporarily lost a goddess over the weekend. --Early Saturday morning, just after midnight, Charlie Tweeted, quote, "Update: Sober Valley Lodge; Rachel has left the building...We're sad.... Over it... Applications now being accepted! #winner." --He was referring to RACHEL OBERLIN . . . a.k.a. the Mattress Actress Formerly Known As BREE OLSON. --But just 12 hours later, Charlie announced that she was back. --As for why she left, he told TMZ, quote, "I chipped one of my warlock fangs on a great white shark I had to murder. Pissed me off and like an ass I took it out on her." --He added, quote, "She came back, my bad all good. Love her with the three parts of my heart."

"Modern Family" star Sarah Hyland Was Creeped Out That Charlie Sheen Was Following Her on Twitter:

Celebrities usually LIKE when people follow them on Twitter. But sometimes not. --Like when you're a hot, 20-year-old chick, and your followers include CHARLIE SHEEN. --SARAH HYLAND, who plays teenager Haley Dunphy on "Modern Family", recently Tweeted the following . . . --"FYI, I've never met @charliesheen in my LIFE, and he's following me now? Really creeped out. Ew. #notwinning." --It must have worked, because Charlie isn't following her anymore.

Sean Penn Wants Charlie Sheen to Help Out in Haiti:

SEAN PENN is one of the people who has reached out to CHARLIE SHEEN since he went off the rails. And Charlie LOVES this guy. --He even gave him props during the "Gnarls Gnarlington" segment of his "Sheen's Korner" webcast over the weekend. (--And yeah, I'm a little embarrassed to have even uttered that sentence.) --Well, Sean would like Charlie to come down to Haiti and help him with hurricane relief. --He says, quote, "I think his energies, intelligence and passion could be both of service and servicing to him, as it is to all who are touched by the struggle of the Haitian people. --"Charlie is one of the very few public people who cannot be accused of using the media to his own benefit." (--Was that supposed to ironic?) --He adds, quote, "I would very much like to show my old friend the world of needs on the ground in Haiti, and introduce him and his tremendous wit to our hard working Haitian staff. If he chooses to give support, I'll trust it." --Sound far-fetched? Maybe not. Charlie told "Access Hollywood" last week, quote, "We're going to do a couple things first and then it looks like we're heading down [to Haiti]. --"I'm excited as hell because, you know, if I can bring the attention of the world down there, then clearly this tsunami keeps cresting!"

Charlie Sheen is a Proud Jew:

CHARLIE SHEEN can't be anti-Semitic . . . because he's JEWISH. --Although he'd been taking crap for weeks about his alleged hatred of the Jews, Charlie FINALLY pulled the Hebrew Card Friday on "Access Hollywood". --He said, quote, "My mom is Jewish. Here's where it gets confusing . . . we don't know who her father was. But she is, in fact, Jewish. So I guess that would make me Jewish, and my children Jewish." --He added that ex-wife BROOKE MUELLER . . . the mother of his twin sons . . . is Jewish, too. --Told that he should have brought this up sooner, Charlie said, quote, "I know, I know. Stupid me. I just got caught sleeping . . . caught napping. Which is rare for me. --"Anywho . . . But I'm proud of it. There you have it."
Random Sheen-Anigans:

#1.) BILL HADER did a pretty cool Sheen impersonation in a "Saturday Night Live" sketch that featured MILEY CYRUS playing LINDSAY LOHAN. (Full Story)

#2.) JERRY O'CONNELL did a not-quite-as-good Sheen impersonation for (Full Story)

#3.) JOHN STAMOS has been rumored as a replacement for Charlie on "Two and a Half Men". But he says, quote, "There's no replacing Charlie Sheen." (Full Story)

#4.) DR. DREW . . . who's probably never even MET Charlie Sheen . . . is doing a one-hour special on him tonight on VH1. (Full Story)

#5.) Spike TV is teaming up with those Taiwanese animators who make those amusing videos of celebrity train wrecks to do a half-hour special called "Charlie Sheen's Winning Moments". It airs Wednesday night. (Full Story)

David Arquette Got Into a Head-On Collision . . . But He's Refusing Pain Meds:

DAVID ARQUETTE got into a head-on collision in Beverly Hills Friday afternoon . . . but like a good recovering addict, he's REFUSING pain meds. --He Tweeted, quote, "Refused all pain medication. May the record state - still sober!" --Since nobody's saying it, we're going to go ahead and assume that neither drugs nor alcohol were a factor in the crash. --David was on his way to the airport for a trip to Vegas where he was supposed to help a friend open a new restaurant. --E! Online says David's car, quote, "appeared to veer into oncoming traffic", then slammed into a Jeep driven by an unidentified woman. --Airbags deployed in both vehicles, and police say David and the woman both suffered, quote, "minor to moderate injuries." --David also Tweeted, quote, "It was a miracle the woman I hit was uninjured. Thank God," which wasn't EXACTLY true, if you go by the police statements. And, quote, "Remember to wear your seatbelt. Wish I was." --He also reportedly riffed on Charlie Sheen by saying, quote, "I got into a car accident but I'm fine. Luckily I have dragon's blood running through my veins. Haha. Thank you for your concern." --But David must have thought better of going to war with a Bitchen, winning rock star warlock descendant of Adonis from Mars . . . because that particular Tweet isn't on his page anymore. (--TMZ got some pictures . . . including shots of the wreckage, AND of David lying on the ground being tended to by EMTs. And here's video of them taking him away on a stretcher.)

The Jewelry Store Lindsay Lohan Allegedly Stole That Necklace From Has Sold the Surveillance Video . . . for $35,000:

LINDSAY LOHAN may have received an extremely lucky break in her felony theft case. --Kamofie & Company . . . the jewelry store where Lindsay allegedly stole that $2,500 necklace . . . has sold the surveillance video for $35,000. --They sold it to the Associated Press . . . which then licensed it to "Entertainment Tonight". They're running it on tonight's show. (--They posted some stills on their website over the weekend. You can check 'em out here.) --The sale of the video makes Kamofie look a little sleazy . . . and it might make it harder for the D.A. to prosecute Lindsay . . . because her attorneys can now claim Kamofie trumped this whole thing up for money and publicity. --That being said, Lindsay's attorneys reportedly had nothing to do with the sale, and they're NOT happy it went down. --Kamofie's people allegedly called Lindsay's attorneys last week and asked for their copy of the video. They also asked them not to show it to anyone else. --Sources say Kamofie was afraid that if the tape got out before they could close a deal, it could have killed their chances of selling it. --A rep for Kamofie & Company has come up with the unlikely excuse that the Lindsay Lohan case has DAMAGED their business . . . so they sold the video to BREAK EVEN. --And he claims the 35-grand won't even cover the store's loss. --Meanwhile, Lindsay is due back in court on Thursday . . . and this hearing is going to be interesting. --Because this is where Lindsay decides whether she fights this thing in court, or if she takes a deal. And remember, the judge already told her that if she takes a deal, she WILL do time. --Lindsay's attorneys are working with prosecutors as we speak. They also plan to talk to the judge this week to get an idea of just how long Lindsay's sentence will be. --Most "sources" are in agreement that he'll want a minimum of three months. Lindsay would probably do about 20% of her sentence due to prison overcrowding . . . which turns three months into 18 days. --Which might still be more than Lindsay is willing to do.

Mike Huckabee Has Softened His Position on Natalie Portman:

Republican presidential candidate MIKE HUCKABEE came to his senses on Friday and softened his stance on unwed pregnant minx NATALIE PORTMAN. --He said, quote, "Natalie is an extraordinary actor, very deserving of her recent Oscar and I am glad she will marry her baby's father. --"However, contrary to what the Hollywood media reported, I did not 'slam' or 'attack' Natalie Portman, nor did I criticize the hardworking single mothers in our country." (--Someone must have reminded Mike of how we're still mocking former Vice President Dan Quayle for attacking Murphy Brown . . . a FICTIONAL TV CHARACTER, for having a child out of wedlock.) (--Not exactly the same thing, but close enough to give political opponents plenty of ammunition to mock him. (--For instance, this would be a very easy way to go after him: Natalie Portman has a high-paying job at which she is incredibly successful, a psychology degree from Harvard, and she's engaged to the man whose child she's carrying.) (--Bristol Palin, on the other hand, is working toward a college degree and has a PISS-POOR relationship with the father of her kid. Which one of these ladies is a better role model for our kids, Mike?)
Is Penelope Cruz Worried that Eva Longoria Will Break Her Brother's Heart?

PENELOPE CRUZ is NOT happy that 35-year-old EVA LONGORIA is dating her little brother EDUARDO . . . who recently turned 26. At least that's what the "anonymous sources" say. --The "National Enquirer" says, quote, "Penelope is worried that the romance is nothing more than a rebound fling for Eva. [She's] worried Eduardo will get his heart broken when Eva moves on to her next flavor of the month.
--"Penelope believes Eva is nothing more than a fame-hungry, bad B-list actress who is using Eduardo in an effort to further her career."

Johnny Depp's "Rango" Topped the Weekend Box Office:

JOHNNY DEPP'S animated flick "Rango" earned $38 million over the weekend. It beat MATT DAMON'S "The Adjustment Bureau", which earned $20.9 million, and VANESSA HUDGENS' "Beauty and the Beast" flick, which rounds out the Top 3. --Meanwhile, the TOPHER GRACE '80s movie "Take Me Home Tonight" tanked at #11 with $3.5 million. Here are the Top 3 movies . . .

1.) (NEW) "Rango", $38 million.
2.) (NEW) "The Adjustment Bureau", $20.9 million.
3.) (NEW) "Beastly", $10.1 million.

Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never" Is the Third-Highest-Grossing Documentary of All Time:

Sure, we all know JUSTIN BIEBER'S "Never Say Never" was little more than a cheap promotional tool. But it also counts as a documentary. --And now, it's the THIRD-HIGHEST-GROSSING documentary of all time. So far, it's made $68.9 million after its first four weeks in theaters. --It's behind only MICHAEL MOORE'S "Fahrenheit 911" . . . which made $119 million . . . and "March of the Penguins" . . . which made more than $77 million. --"Never Say Never" DID take one record away from "Fahrenheit" . . . Best opening weekend for a documentary. Justin opened with $29.5 million . . . while "Fahrenheit" took in $23 million. --And here's the real kicker . . . The "Hollywood Reporter" says that people were actually buzzing about "Never Say Never" at various Academy Awards after-parties. In other words, Justin's movie could be up for an Oscar next year. (???)

Kristen Stewart Will Play Snow White:

It's official: KRISTEN STEWART will play Snow White in "Snow White and the Huntsman". --This is a more action-oriented version of the fairy tale. In the original, the evil queen orders the Huntsman to take Snow White out into the forest and kill her . . . but he has a change of heart and lets her go. --In this one, the Huntsman . . . played by VIGGO MORTENSEN . . . teaches Snow White how to FIGHT, so she can take out the queen . . . who will be played by CHARLIZE THERON.

Did the Weinstein Brothers Pay Kevin Bacon $25,000 to NOT Make a Movie?

Producers Bob and Harvey Weinstein are being sued for allegedly torpedoing an animated movie they were going to make called "Escape from Planet Earth". --The director and producer who tried to make the flick say the Weinsteins did basically everything they could to sabotage the film.-One of the things they did was pay KEVIN BACON $25,000 NOT to make the movie. Supposedly, Kevin had agreed to do the movie for $50,000 . . . and the Weinsteins believed that was too much to pay him.

Miley Cyrus Played Justin Bieber on a "Miley Cyrus Show" Sketch on "Saturday Night Live":

MILEY CYRUS did do a "Miley Cyrus Show" skit while hosting "Saturday Night Live" over the weekend . . . but she couldn't play herself, since "SNL's" VANESSA BAYER already does that. --So she appeared as JUSTIN BIEBER. --The REAL Miley poked fun at Justin's "swagger coach" . . . but the most interesting part of the sketch came when the FAKE Miley brought up the scandal where Miley was caught smoking salvia last year. (--Salvia is a hallucinogenic herb.) --Vanessa said, quote, "So you're growin' up . . . like me, doing salvia. Did you know I smoked salvia?" And Miley, as Justin, responded, quote, "There's no reason why you wouldn't . . . because it's totally legal, yo." --She delivered that last part deliberately, looking straight at the camera . . . as if she was pointing out how absurd she thought that scandal was. (--In real life, Miley said smoking salvia was "a mistake" last month.) --You can find video of the sketch, here. And here's video of Miley's monologue, in which she sings a song about some of her other recent "controversies." She also played Fergie in this BLACK EYED PEAS skit.) (--You can find the rest of the videos from the episode at the "SNL" site, here.)
"American Idol" Cleaned-Up in the Ratings Thursday Night:

Thursday's two-hour episode of "American Idol", where they named the Top 13 finalists, averaged 25 million viewers. --That blew away the competition, and was the most-watched non-sports Thursday night show on any network over the past four years . . . since March of 2007. (--"American Idol" hasn't regularly aired on Thursday nights before this season, but says it was up 29% over the audience of a comparable episode last season.)--That being said, it was up against some pretty weak competition. ABC and NBC were both airing reruns all night, and so was CBS, with the exception of a new episode of "Rules of Engagement". --By the way, ADAM LAMBERT will be back on "Idol" this week. --On Thursday, he'll perform an acoustic version of his song "Aftermath". The song will be available on Adam's website after the show . . . with all proceeds benefiting The Trevor Project. --It's an organization that offers support for suicidal gay, lesbian, bisexual and trangendered teens. (--Here are the links to Adam's site, and The Trevor Project.)

Kid 'N Play Were Initially Offered "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", But They Turned It Down:

If you spend any time at all on message boards devoted to the '90s "House Party" movies, you've probably heard about how the first one was originally written for WILL SMITH and DJ JAZZY JEFF. -But they turned it down, so it became KID 'N PLAY'S gig. --Well, "Kid" . . . whose real name is CHRISTOPHER REID . . . says what goes around comes around, because they later turned down "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", which of course eventually went to Will and DJ Jazzy Jeff. --He explains, quote, "We were talking about doing a sitcom over at NBC, [but] we backed out of that because they canceled our cartoon series. So we were pissed off and were like, 'Eh, we're not working with you.' --"And then Will got that slot . . . 'Fresh Prince' became that. --"So that stuff kinda evens out." And then he jokingly adds, quote, "What ever happened to Will Smith? I never see the guy anywhere." (--You can find video of Kid's comments, here.) (--It's unclear how far into development "Fresh Prince" was when Kid 'N Play declined it . . . but it obviously wouldn't have been called "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", since Will was already using the alias "The Fresh Prince".)

Bill Clinton Was Asked to Be a Guest Star on "30 Rock", But His People Rejected It for Him:

Apparently, BILL CLINTON'S people aren't down with "30 Rock". --The "New York Post" says "30 Rock" star and executive producer TINA FEY personally wrote a letter to Clinton asking him if he'd appear on an upcoming episode, but his people said NO, without even running it by him. --Clinton's rep simply said, quote, "The request was made and immediately denied without asking him." --Clinton's appearance was going to be for "30 Rock's" 100th episode, which is scheduled to air on April 20th. (--4/20!!!) It's unknown if they had a role for Clinton, or if he was going to be playing himself.

Monday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"The Event" [Mid-Season Return] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.

--"House" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Cuddy's anxieties about her relationship with House lead to a series of dream sequences, including a musical choreographed by Mia Michaels from "So You Think You Can Dance".)

--"The Bachelor: The Woman Tell All" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Brad Womack is confronted by his rejected bachelorettes in this review of the season.)

--"Too Fat For 15" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Style.

--"Mad Love" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Brittany Snow guests as Kate's sister.)

--"Greek" [SERIES Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC Family.

--"American Chopper" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery. (--A bike for the Iraq Star Foundation which provides injured soldiers with free reconstructive surgery.)

--"He Loves Me" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Lifetime. (--Heather Locklear is a woman who becomes unhinged once she suspects that her husband is cheating on her.)

--"Stargate Universe" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.

--"Shatner's Raw Nerve" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Biography. (--Ed Asner discusses acting and conspiracy theories.)

--"Harry's Law" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Camryn Manheim guest stars as an ADA trying to convict Adam's teenage client of murder.)

--"All About Aubrey" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Oxygen. (--Former Danity Kane singer Aubrey O'Day attempts to launch a solo career.)
Phil Collins Has Apparently Quit the Music Business:

PHIL COLLINS has talked a lot about retiring from performing recently, mostly because of a neck and spinal cord injury that basically makes it impossible for him to play the drums like he used to, because he can't grip the sticks. --And also because the hearing in his left ear is shot. --But in a new interview, it sounds like he's COMPLETELY retiring from the music business . . . and he sounds pretty depressed in general. --He tells "FHM" magazine, quote, "It's a good time to stop. I don't really belong to that world and I don't think anyone's going to miss me. I'm much happier just to write myself out of the script entirely. --"I look at the 'MTV [Video] Music Awards' and I think: 'I can't be in the same business as this.'" --He adds, quote, "I'm sorry that it was all so successful. I honestly didn't mean it to happen like that. It's hardly surprising that people grew to hate me." (--Uh . . . can someone check in on Phil and make sure he's OK?) (--Phil admitted not too long ago that he's had suicidal thoughts . . . but he added, quote, "I wouldn't do that to the children.") (--Then again, Phil has also revealed that his injuries sometimes make it impossible for him to WIPE HIMSELF. You could certainly argue that it would be unfair to force a man to live with such indignity.) --So what's next for Phil? --He says, quote, "I'll go on a mysterious biking holiday and never return. That would be a great way to end the story, wouldn't it?" (???)

Check Out Video of Lady Gaga Performing with a 10-Year-Old Who Became a YouTube Sensation for Singing "Born This Way":

LADY GAGA made good on the promise she made to 10-year-old Maria Aragon, who became a YouTube sensation after uploading her cover of "Born This Way". --Last month, she told Maria that she'd bring her up onstage to do a duet when she came to Toronto. (--Maria lives in Winnipeg. That's over 1,000 miles away from Toronto, but hey it's Canada. Close enough.) --The concert went down last Thursday night, and sure enough Lady Gaga brought Maria up for a "Born This Way" duet. (--You can see video, here. ***WARNING***: There's some annoying breaks in this video, but it does have the best audio of their actual performance . . . so you can skip ahead to the 1:30-mark.) (--It was a cool thing for Lady Gaga to do, so I hate bringing this up . . .) (--But couldn't Lady Gaga have tweaked her wardrobe line-up so that she was wearing something a little more than a black leather bikini when she had Maria sit on her lap for their duet?) (--It brought a whole new meaning to "stripped-down version.") --Maria also got to come out for the finale, when Lady Gaga was doing her full-blown production of "Born This Way". (--Here's that video. Maria joins her at 2:40.)

Is Lady Gaga Being Infringed Upon By Breast Milk Ice Cream?

LADY GAGA is threatening to sue the London ice cream parlor that's selling a specialty ice cream called "Baby Gaga". This is the ice cream that's made out of BREAST MILK. (--You can read our earlier story about it, here.) --Naturally, Lady Gaga's lawyers don't really care about the breast milk, they're concerned about the name. They've given the ice cream makers until Wednesday to change the name. If they don't, they'll begin legal proceedings. --Lady Gaga's lawyers would have to be able to PROVE the claim they're making: That this place is using her name to generate publicity and interest in their ice cream. (--You'd have to think they'll change the name. I'm sure they're drumming up publicity just fine on their own with the whole BREAST MILK component.)

Kesha's Face Is on Condoms and She's Giving Fans Tattoos with Safety Pins:

It's been a while since we last talked about how EDGY KESHA is. Well, here's the latest: Beginning tonight, Kesha will be throwing condoms into the crowd at her shows. They'll be personalized . . . with her FACE on each one of them. --And then there's a video that popped up online showing Kesha giving a male fan a tattoo of "her dollar sign" using just a safety pin and pen ink. (--Here's the video. It includes two F-Bombs. And if you're a little queasy with needles, don't bother.)

Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx Explains Why They've Decided That They're OK Touring with Poison:

Bassist NIKKI SIXX has explained why MOTLEY CRUE have decided to tour with POISON this summer . . . after years of saying they'd never do it. Or at least, he TRIED to. --Nikki said, quote, "One of the things Motley Crue said was that we would never tour with Poison because we were sort of punk / heavy metal / glam, [and] we came out of the very, very early '80s and took what we did very . . . it was very important to us. --"And then bands came after us, and we wanted to kind of separate from them. And we had never planned on touring with any of the bands from that era. --"There was no animosity . . . it was just that we put a very clear line. But when the [NEW YORK] DOLLS signed on [to our summer tour], it made it seem like it was the right time to do this tour." --In other words, Motley Crue didn't think Poison was serious enough to tour with until now, because . . . I don't know. --The TRUTH is that they know there's a demand for this bill, and people are going to PAY UP to see it. That's why this is happening. --For what it's worth, in 2004, Nikki said, quote, "No way in (effing) hell would we ever, ever tour with a (effing) band like Poison. That would be the death of us . . . I will not be attached to that kind of fake (B.S.)."
NAACP Supporters Are Boycotting Kid Rock Over His Confederate Flag:

The Detroit branch of the NAACP is honoring KID ROCK with its "Great Expectations Award" this spring . . . but some of the organization's supporters are NOT happy about that, and are planning to boycott the event. --Their problem is that Kid Rock likes to fly the confederate flag. One person said, quote, "It's a slap in the face for anyone who fought for civil rights in this country. It's a symbol of hatred and bigotry." --Kid Rock hasn't commented on this situation, but a few years ago he said that, to him, the flag represents SOUTHERN ROCK.

And Now . . . Usher Is Donating His Gaddafi Money:

USHER has joined NELLY FURTADO, BEYONCÉ and MARIAH CAREY in apologizing for accepting BIG paychecks to perform for the family of Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi in recent years. --Like all the others, Usher claims he didn't realize it was Gaddafi's money . . . and like Nelly and Beyoncé, but not Mariah, he's now donating it to charity. --He says, quote, "I'm sincerely troubled to learn about [this]. I'll be donating all of my personal proceeds from that event to various human rights organizations." (--50 CENT is the last known Gaddafi performer yet to release a statement on this.)

Suge Knight's Case Against Kanye West for a 2005 Shooting Is Over:

SUGE KNIGHT'S case against KANYE WEST for a 2005 shooting is FINALLY over. Suge was shot in the leg while attending a party that Kanye hosted. --Kanye wasn't involved in the shooting, but Suge thought he should pay out for not having adequate security at the event. Oh, and he also wanted Kanye to compensate him for a $135,000 earring that was stolen from him the same night. -They reached a settlement out of court, but the terms weren't released. Suge probably didn't get much though . . . his case had already been thrown out once.


Late-in-life lesbian MEREDITH BAXTER has recently been accusing her ex-husband, DAVID BIRNEY, of physical and emotional abuse. Now, Birney is accusing her of, quote, "an appalling abuse of the truth." (Full Story)

Former "Playboy" skank KARISSA SHANNON got caught picking her nose while leaving a Starbucks in Los Angeles last week. (Full Story)

MIKE MYERS secretly married a chick named KELLY TISDALE last fall. She used to date MOBY . . . and she co-owns the Teany Cafe with him in New York. (Full Story)

ABBIE CORNISH got stabbed in the head with a bayonet while filming the upcoming movie "Sucker Punch" . . . but she was saved from serious injury by a metal hair clip she was wearing. (Full Story)

The not-always-reliable British tabloids say that MACAULAY CULKIN is on the short list to play WikiLeaks founder JULIAN ASSANGE in a movie being put together by STEVEN SPIELBERG. (Full Story)

The end is near: STEVE CARELL filmed his last full episode of "The Office" on Friday. His farewell will air sometime next month. (Full Story)

CARY ELWES from "The Princess Bride" has joined the cast of NBC's upcoming "Wonder Woman" show. He'll play the CEO of the company owned by Diana Prince, a.k.a. Wonder Woman. (Full Story)

ABC has cast a young Australian stud named CHRISTOPHER EGAN to play Edgar Allen Poe in their upcoming drama series "Poe". He doesn't look anything like Poe, but ABC says that was intentional. (--Actually, he looks a little like a young MATT DAMON.) (Full Story)


A High School Basketball Star In Michigan Makes the Game-Winning Shot . . . Then Dies On the Court:

Stories like this never fail to freak me out . . . it's just amazing how fast tragedy can strike when you least expect it. --Last Thursday night in Michigan, Fennville High School was playing a basketball game against Bridgman High School. --One of Fennville's star players, 16-year-old Wes Leonard, hit the game-winning shot in overtime, and Fennville won 57-to-55 . . . which also gave them an UNDEFEATED record for the season. --Wes's teammates and the fans rushed the court to celebrate, and Wes was right there, celebrating with them. Then, he collapsed. --Paramedics tried CPR but it didn't work, and Wes was pronounced dead. He died from cardiac arrest due to an enlarged heart. --This is the second tragedy in 14 months for Fennville. Back in January of 2010, a 14-year-old wrestler from Fennville died from a seizure after a match. --Fennville is playing in its first playoff game as part of the Michigan state tournament tonight at 7:00 P.M. Hundreds of people attended a memorial for Wes on Saturday. (ESPN) (--Here's a photo of Wes being lifted up by a teammate just moments before he collapsed.)

In Texas, a High School Girls Basketball Coach Leads Her Team To Victory Just a Few Hours After Giving Birth:

I'm not usually going to fault a high school teacher for being dedicated and passionate . . . but 34-year-old Amber Branson of Lipan, Texas might be a little TOO dedicated. --Amber works as a teacher and girls basketball coach at Lipan High School. Last Saturday, her team had a regional semifinal game that could vault them into the state playoffs. -But . . . Amber was nine months pregnant and that baby was ready to pop. When she went into labor on Friday, everyone assumed she'd miss the game. --Late Friday night, Amber gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Leslie. --A few hours later she was out of the hospital, in the car, and on her way to coach her team. --And the Lipan girls came from behind to win 45-to-41 . . . which sent them to the state semifinals for the first time since 2003. --After the game, Amber went back to the hospital to spend more time with her newborn daughter. (Yahoo Sports)

13% of People Would Rather Give Up Their Dog Than Facebook:

Most dog owners we know are ridiculously obsessed with their dogs. But apparently a pretty large number of them love something more.

--According to a new survey, 13% of dog owners say they'd rather give up their dog than give up Facebook.

--Here are some other findings from the survey.

--14% of dog owners say they have a Facebook account for their dog. And of those people, 3% say their dog has over 500 FRIENDS.

--6% of dog owners have a Twitter account for their dog, and 27% say they have a YouTube account for their dog.

--53% say that they pick up their dog's poop every single time he goes. 25% pick it up most times. 13% of people say they never pick up after their dog.

--The average person surveyed said they spend between $500 and $1,000 on their dog every year. 1% of people say they spend over $10,000.

It Would Take 10 Years To Read Every Single Tweet Posted In a Single Day:

In case you needed more proof that Twitter was providing an absurd amount of MINDLESS CHATTER to a world that's already overloaded with it, here you go. --If you wanted to read every single tweet posted in a single day, just ONE day's worth of tweets . . . it would take you TEN YEARS. --That's based on a calculation that there are 50 million tweets per day, and it takes the average person about 6.6 seconds to read every tweet. --So if you wanted to devote 24 hours nonstop to just reading tweets, you'd only make it through 13,091 messages . . . or about 0.026% of the tweets posted that day. (Death and Taxes Magazine)

Meet New York's "Naked Therapist" . . . A Woman Who Gets Nude To Help Her Clients Solve Their Problems:

It's about time someone found a way to profit off a combination of softcore porno and crippling depression. --24-year-old Sarah White of New York City is a former psychology student who's now making her living as a NAKED THERAPIST. --For $150-an-hour you go to her website, SarahWhiteLive, and have a text chat while a webcam shows Sarah. During the session, as you tell her your problems and she talks you through them, she strips down and gets completely nude. --After she builds up trust with clients she'll transfer to two-way Skype video chats . . . and then, sometimes, in-person appointments. --She says, quote, "[My] goal is to show patients I have nothing to hide, and encourage them to be more honest. [To] look deeply into themselves and speak their minds openly." --Oh, and Sarah is not a registered or licensed therapist, and nude therapy hasn't been certified by any mental health association. But she never makes physical contact with clients, since that would be a huge violation of ethics. (Daily Mail)
(--And if you're interested in learning more, check out her website at

Let's Try To Be Mature About This #1: A New Study Finds Your Fertility Could Be Connected To . . . The Length of Your Taint:

I'm guessing you've never really thought about the size of your TAINT. You've probably thought about the size of everything else down there . . . but no one I know has ever taken a ruler and measured from the base of their junk to their no-go hole. --Well . . . maybe you should. According to a new study by the University of Rochester, the longer a man's taint is . . . or as they call it, the "perineum" . . . the more FERTILE he is. --In the study, men with greater distances down there tended to have higher seed counts, better quality seed, and a higher concentration. --The researchers believe it's tied to testosterone: Men who were exposed to more testosterone in the womb seem to develop longer taints and wind up more fertile. (Health Day)

Let's Try To Be Mature About This #2: A Company in New Zealand Is Debuting an Energy Drink Made Out of . . . Horse Emissions:

--In New Zealand this month, they're releasing an energy drink that's made out of . . . HORSE EMISSIONS. That's right. A company will take the, quote, "protein of the stallion" and mix it with cherry and licorice flavors. --They say it's totally safe, and to, quote, "think of it as a milkshake." It'll sell for $10 a pop at a food festival. And if it's successful there, it could get bottled and sold nationwide. (AOL News)

Airline Baggage Fees Are Costing Taxpayers $260 Million a Year:

It's kind of amazing that an industry as important as the airlines manages to be such a complete and utter disaster. --Ever since the airlines realized they could get away with charging baggage fees, customers responded by checking far fewer bags and jamming stuff into their carry-ons to save money. --Or at least we thought it would save money. While it saves you $50 or so in the short term . . . it turns out it's costing all of us more in the long term. --According to the Department of Homeland Security, the increase in carry-ons is costing the taxpayers an extra $260 MILLION a year. --That's because it's more labor intensive for the TSA to check your carry-on than it is for them to check your checked luggage. So with more carry-ons, more TSA employees are required to meet all the demand at the security checkpoint. --Homeland Security has two ideas about how to deal with it: One, the airlines could give them a piece of the baggage check fees to cover the costs. --Of course, as soon as you take that money away from the airlines, they'll instantly have a new way to take more money from you to cover the difference. --The other plan would be to add YET ANOTHER FEE to all plane tickets that would go toward covering the costs. (Time) (--So, as always, whenever the words "airlines" and "money" are featured together, it somehow ends up with all of us getting screwed.)


A Woman Tries To Collect a Pension By Going To the Credit Union Disguised as Her Dead Mother:

59-year-old Loewen B. Craft of Ferndale, Washington lost her mother back in 2007. Her mother was collecting pension benefits from Chevron Oil when she passed away. --Loewen really wanted to keep on getting those benefits, so she came up with a plan: She'd DRESS UP as her dead mother, go to the credit union, and collect the benefits. --And she went all out: She'd put on a gray wig, use makeup to make herself look older, add fake liver spots, and wear her dead mother's clothes. --From when her mom died in 2007 until she was caught on Wednesday, she collected $145,339 in pension benefits. --Chevron finally caught on when they found Loewen's mother's name on a federal registry of people who'd passed away. They contacted the police, who worked on a sting to catch her. --On Wednesday, when Loewen walked into the credit union in full costume, they were waiting there to arrest her. --She's been charged with first-degree identity theft, criminal impersonation, and several forgery counts. (Bellingham Herald)

A Man Is Arrested For Walking Around Walmart, and Placing Photos of Himself In Fishnet Stockings, a Camisole, and No Underwear On the Shelves:

We love the website, which features an almost endless supply of RIDICULOUS-looking people at Walmarts. Well . . . if these photos ever surface, they might trump everything else on that site. --Last week, 44-year-old Rodney Kunkel of Toledo, Ohio was busted for walking around a Walmart and putting photos of himself on different shelves. --The photos featured Rodney in FISHNET STOCKINGS . . . a woman's CAMISOLE . . . high heels . . . and NO UNDERWEAR. You could see his full package, but not his face. --He put at least nine of those photos on shelves, and on the windshields of some of the cars in the parking lot. -A Walmart security guard finally spotted him and called the police. They arrested him. --He's been charged with two counts of pandering obscenity, which is a FELONY that could get him up to 12 months in prison and a $2,500 fine. --According to the police, quote, "apparently he did it just to get a reaction." --This is Rodney's THIRD arrest for nudity. In 2002 he got out of his car totally naked and relieved his bladder in front of a grocery store. And in 2004 he was bicycling naked and exposed himself to a woman in front of an apartment complex. (Toledo Blade) (--Here's his mugshot. The photos of him in his fishnets and camisole weren't released.)
A Two-Year-Old Boy Is Found Wandering the Streets . . . While His Mother Is Off at Parenting Class:

We couldn't make something like this up if we tried. --In Charleroi, Pennsylvania, a two-year-old boy was found wandering on the streets while his mother was . . . attending parenting classes. --The two-year-old was wandering in the cold weather without SHOES or a COAT. A neighbor spotted him and brought him inside. --He didn't know his name or where he lived, so she called the police. They went door-to-door to try to track down his parents, and eventually came to a house where the door was partially open. --60-year-old Elmer Devore and 20-year-old Jessica Devore were inside. They said they were watching TV and the boy must've wandered away. Jessica told them, quote, "he must have got out, me and my father were watching him." --The boy's mother is Cathlene Orlof. Elmer is her boyfriend's father, Jessica is her boyfriend's sister. --Cathlene left her son with them so she could attend parenting classes. There's already a pending neglect case against her, so she was taking the classes to try to keep custody of her kids. --Protective services took custody of the boy and his four-month-old sister. --It doesn't look like Cathlene will be facing any new charges here, but Elmer and Jessica could be looking at child endangerment. (Valley Independent News)


Virgin Blue Airlines is offering a female passenger free flights . . . because a flight attendant picked up the woman's toddler, put him in the overhead bin, and closed the latch. The flight attendant says the woman's husband was just playing peek-a-boo with the kid, and he joined it. But the airline fired him anyway. (Full Story)

The ban on gays in the military is still in effect, and the Navy is trying to discharge a sailor found in bed with another sailor. But the sailors say they were just watching "The Vampire Diaries" together, and fell asleep. (???) (Full Story)

Two dozen people took turns performing CPR on a guy in Minnesota for 96 minutes, after he had a heart attack outside a gym. It's one of the longest successful out-of-hospital resuscitations ever. (Full Story)

A meth dealer in Colorado laundered his profits with a comic book business. So the Feds are going to seize his entire 18,000 comic collection. (Full Story)

A new study from Pennsylvania State University says that whites are more anxious than blacks. (Full Story)


#1.) Cyndi Lauper Sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" to Delayed Passengers at an Airport in Argentina:

CYNDI LAUPER helped out at an airport in Buenos Aires, Argentina on Friday. Apparently there were long delays, and people were getting restless. So she sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" over the P.A. system, and everyone joined in on the chorus. (--Search YouTube for "Cyndi Lauper Buenos Aires Airport")

#2.) A Flash-Mob Pillow Fight Broke Out During Halftime at a College Basketball Game:

Last Wednesday's basketball game between Utah State and New Mexico State was billed as "pajama party" night, and students were encouraged to wear PJ's to the game. --But organizers forgot about one very important aspect of any respectable pajama party: So at halftime, the students took charge, ran onto the court, and started their own flash-mob pillow fight. (--Search for "New Mexico State Pillow Fight". See it from a different angle without the Guns N' Roses background music HERE.)

Five Reasons You Shouldn't Quit Drinking Coffee:

You've probably seen articles on why drinking too much coffee is bad for you. But if you drink it in moderation . . . and you don't load it up with cream and sugar . . . coffee is actually GOOD for your health. --In fact, it has more antioxidants per serving than blueberries do, and it's the top source of antioxidants in the average American's diet. -So to help kick off the work week, here's a list from "EatingWell" magazine that'll help you feel better about your favorite morning addiction. It's five reasons to NOT quit drinking coffee.

#1.) It's Good For Your Heart. Even though coffee raises your heart rate and blood pressure when you drink it, research suggests it might actually LOWER your blood pressure in the long run. --And moderate coffee drinkers . . . which means one-to-three cups a day . . . are also less likely to suffer a stroke. Researchers think it's because the antioxidants help protect your arteries from inflammation.

#2.) It Might Help Prevent Diabetes. According to several studies, the antioxidants boost your sensitivity to insulin, and people who drink four or more cups of coffee a day have a lower risk of developing type two diabetes. --But here's the catch: If you have too much caffeine, it doesn't work. So you're supposed to switch back and forth between regular and decaf.

#3.) It's Good for Your Liver. The case isn't closed on this one, but some research has shown that the more coffee you drink, the less likely you are to develop liver disease. --And one analysis of nine different studies found that for every two cups of coffee you drink per day, your risk of developing liver cancer drops by 43%.

#4.) It's Good for Your Brain. According to at least one study, drinking up to five cups of coffee a day reduces your risk of dementia, Alzheimer's disease, and Parkinson's disease. --Researchers think the antioxidants protect your brain cells and make the neurotransmitters in your brain work better.

#5.) It Helps With Headaches. 200 milligrams of caffeine . . . which is what's in the average 16-ounce cup of coffee . . . can relieve mild headaches and even migraines. --Experts don't know exactly WHY it works, but they do know that caffeine boosts brain cell activity, which causes the surrounding blood vessels to constrict. And one theory is, the constriction helps to relieve the pressure that's causing the pain. (EatingWell Magazine)


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