Wednesday, March 16, 2011

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (03-16-11)

TSUNAMI TSHOWBIZ

Gilbert Gottfried Has Apologized for His Tsunami Jokes . . . and Howard Stern and Joan Rivers Have His Back:

GILBERT GOTTFRIED has apologized for Tweeting a dozen insensitive and only moderately-funny jokes about the tsunami in Japan the other day. --He said, quote, "I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families." --The Tweets caused him to lose his gig as the voice of the Aflac duck . . . which he's been doing for over a decade. --Aflac has already announced they're going to conduct a nationwide search for Gilbert's replacement. There's no word if his apology might change their minds. --Meanwhile, Gilbert got support yesterday from two equally offensive entertainers: HOWARD STERN and JOAN RIVERS. --On his radio show yesterday, Stern said Aflac should have known what they were getting into . . . quote, "Here is the guy that as long as I know has been making jokes about the N-word, about Jews . . . you couldn't ask for a more inappropriate human being than Gilbert Gottfried." -"When the Aflac people hired him to be the duck, they knew . . . his humor is offensive, he's made fun of every disaster I've ever heard. --"There's no reason for him to be fired. But to be fired for offensiveness . . . he should never have been hired then." (--You can listen to the audio here. WARNING!!! There's a bleeped F-bomb in this clip.) --Joan posted her comments on Twitter. She said, quote, "Oh come on people-this is just outrageous! . . . That's what comedians do!!! We react to tragedy by making jokes to help people in tough times feel better through laughter." (--That's ALMOST a valid point, Joan. But here's the thing: When you make jokes ABOUT the tragedy you're supposedly trying to help people through, you may not be helping them.) (--It's kind of like, if somebody's mother dies, you slip on a banana peel or you tell them a good knock-knock joke. You don't start MAKING FUN OF THEIR MOM.) (--Gilbert wasn't trying to heal anybody or help them through a tough time. He was trying to be controversial. And it worked . . . a little too well.)


Hollywood's 10 Most Stupid Tweets:

In light of the GILBERT GOTTFRIED / Aflac mess, "The Hollywood Reporter" has put together a list of Hollywood's 10 Most Stupid Tweets. --Not surprisingly, they started with one of Gilbert's tsunami cracks . . . and followed it with one of 50 CENT'S tsunami jokes from earlier this week.

--Here's the list . . .

#1.) Gilbert Gottfried: "I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, 'They'll be another one floating by any minute now.'"

#2.) 50 Cent: "Wave will hit [the West Coast at] 8am them crazy white boys gonna try to go surfing."

3.) Charlie Sheen, the day before he was fired from "Two and a Half Men": "fastball. the trolls are foaming from their toothless holes. rumor mill abundant with evil gossip. mainstream heretics smirking."

#4.) Kanye West: "An abortion can cost a ballin' (N-word) up to 50gs maybe a 100. Gold diggin' (B-words) be getting pregnant on purpose. #STRAPUP my (N-words)!"

#5.) Spencer Pratt . . . starting beef with Al Roker after a confrontation on the "Today" show: "Do you always look like your about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know?"

#6.) Scott Baio, in a caption to an unflattering picture of Michelle Obama that he posted: "WOW He wakes up to this every morning"

#7.) Paris Hilton: "No, no, I didn't go to England; I went to London."

#8.) Bow Wow . . . announcing he was driving drunk and revealing his EXACT LOCATION: "Face numb im whippin the lambo. Tispy as (eff). Just left @livmiami. Im (effed) up!!! Ohhhh damn. Y i drive the lambo. Chris might have to drive after next spot."

#9.) Jessica Simpson, no explanation necessary: "Sometimes learning the language in my head can be just as hard as communicating with someone foreign. alone time on flights get me everytime."

#10.) Mary J. Blige: "Why is that people always try to understand estimate my intelligents?! They should never do that!"
One of Charlie Sheen's Porn Star Friends Tried to Commit Suicide Monday Night:

KACEY JORDAN . . . the mattress actress who banked $30,000 from CHARLIE SHEEN after participating in his infamous bender back in January . . . tried to commit SUICIDE Monday night. Maybe. --Kacey's also the one who had an abortion last month. But she said she didn't know if the baby was Charlie's.) --Kacey was at the Peninsula Hotel in Chicago, when someone called police because several Twitter messages she'd posted throughout the day made it sound like she was trying to kill herself. --It started with this one, just after 7:00 A.M. . . . quote, "i just snorted a fat line and i get a wake up call for my pedicure spa appointment in 15 min.... this is going to be a great conversation!" --In a few other posts, she talked about drinking mimosas and, quote, "rocking some other (crap)" . . . and PASSING OUT. --Then there was this one . . . quote, "shouldn't i be all awake... i keep fainting. i guess i'll have to do more and see what that does." --After Tweeting that she was NOT trying to kill herself, she then Tweeted, quote, "i took a bunch of pills...drank a hotel size bottle of jack... stumbled to the bathroom to weigh myself.........86 lbs" --At about 3:00 P.M., she Tweeted, quote, "those 16 hours i was with charlie sheen... messed me up... i can't get that image out of my head... i think i keep trying to feel his pain" --Half an hour later, she Tweeted, this, quote, "bathtime good byes." --At 4:05 P.M., she Tweeted, quote, "for over a hundred people calling my hotel...thanks. i made a deal with the hotel. i'm not doing an intervention with the staff" (--Check out Kacey's Twitter page here.) --Police showed up at about 6:15 P.M. They found Kacey sitting on her bed surrounded by prescription pill bottles, broken glass and alcohol. She had cuts and scrapes on her arm. --She told them the so-called "suicide" messages were just a publicity stunt. But then she grabbed a corkscrew and tried to run out of the room and cut herself. Police subdued her, then took her to a nearby hospital for psychiatric evaluation. --Yesterday, she Tweeted, quote, "I'm Soooo bored in this hospital bed! I wanna have someone save me... And kpuff doesn't have underwear?!!" (--Not sure what that last part means.) --Meanwhile, Kacey's rep says he got a message from her on Saturday night saying she was suicidal. But when he got in touch with her Sunday, she assured him she was fine.


Charlie Sheen Has Added More Dates to His Live Show:

CHARLIE SHEEN has added more dates to his live show. He's now hitting Cleveland and Columbus, Ohio . . . Radio City Music Hall in New York City . . . Wallingford, Connecticut . . . and Boston. (--Check out the dates here.)


Charlie Sheen Is Moving Into Another House In His Neighborhood . . . Because of the "Memories" In His Current Home:

The Sober Valley Lodge is closing its doors. CHARLIE SHEEN is moving into another house in his gated community . . . because he's looking for a fresh start. --A source says, quote, "There's a lot of memories in Charlie's current home, some good, some bad, so the new residence will give Charlie a chance to start afresh." --The new joint is basically around the corner . . . and two houses down from PARIS HILTON . . . who's pretty tight with Charlie's ex, BROOKE MUELLER.


Random Sheen-Anigans:

#1.) We heard not long ago that there was a 1989 movie called "A Tale of Two Sisters". It was based on the poetry of CHARLIE SHEEN, and it was set to Charlie reading said poetry. Well, there's a new video online featuring Charlie's poetry, with clips from the movie. (--Check it out here.)

#2.) Charlie Sheen has two "Goddesses" again. BREE OLSON is back at the "Sober Valley Lodge". (Full Story)


The Situation Bombed at the Donald Trump Roast:

The Comedy Central roast of DONALD TRUMP aired last night. There'd been some online talk that MIKE "THE SITUATION" SORRENTINO pretty much bombed when he took the podium. And now we know he did. --I can't believe I'm going to defend this guy, but I have to admit, he started out with some decent material . . . but the crowd was against him right from the start. --For example: To comedienne WHITNEY CUMMINGS, he said, quote, "You look like the chicks I used to bang before I had all this money." --But the act hit a brick wall when he dropped this one on fellow roaster ANTHONY JESELNIK . . . quote, "I know you're a little hater, but I know you're a funny dude as well. --"'Cuz the other night I told one of your super-funny jokes to a supermodel and she was laughing . . . while I was bangin' her brains out with a pile of money on the floor of my mother(effin') mansion." --That one was met with SILENCE. And things only got worse from there. Eventually, roast icon JEFFREY ROSS jumped up to the podium to save him. (--You can see video of The Situation's COMEDY DEATH here. WARNING!!! There's an unedited S-word in this clip, as well as some other questionable language.)
Just One More Reason Why Tracy Morgan Is Awesome:

If you don't watch "30 Rock", then I feel sorry for you . . . because you're missing out on one of the most underrated comedians of our time, TRACY MORGAN. --The other day, Tracy once again showed off his AWESOMENESS when he was spotted in New York City shirtless and wielding a LIGHT SABER. He was filming a scene for the show, of course. (--Check out the pic here.)


Seann William Scott is In Treatment for . . . Something:

SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT . . . who played Stifler in the "American Pie" movies . . . has entered treatment. We just don't know what he's being treated for. --His rep says, quote, "Seann William Scott has voluntarily admitted himself for proactive treatment to address health and personal issues. He appreciates the support of his many fans at this time." --There's also no word where he's being treated.


Mark Wahlberg Wants Everybody Back for a Sequel to "The Fighter":

Oscar-winning dramas don't usually get sequels . . . but MARK WAHLBERG is hoping to reassemble his cast for a follow-up to "The Fighter". --He says, quote, "I'm trying to plant the idea in everyone's head that we should do . . . not five or six 'Fighters' like 'Rocky' . . . but one more because the big thing that Micky Ward was famous for was his three epic battles with Arturo Gatti. --"So we're talking about possibly taking one more run at it." --"Everybody had such an amazing experience making the movie that I can't imagine they wouldn't want to go back. But it's still kind [of] in the early stages."


There's a New "Daredevil" Movie in the Works:

BEN AFFLECK'S crack at "Daredevil" back in 2003 did NOT turn the character into eternal box office poison, as many people predicted. --There's a new version in the works that'll be directed by David Slade. He's got two very different vampire flicks on his resume: "30 Days of Night" and "Twilight: Eclipse".


"AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY

Will This Season's "Idol" Results Be Spoiled By the Number of Twitter Followers Each Contestant Has?

Fox gave the "American Idol" contestants individual Twitter accounts this year . . . and some people think it could SPOIL the results. The thinking is that you can judge the popularity of the contestants . . . and therefore the order they'll be eliminated . . . by the number of followers they have. --When asked about it, "Idol" executive producer Ken Warwick brushed it off . . . saying, quote, "I don't read Twitter, so I can't really say." --For what it's worth, last week's bottom three have three of the four lowest follower numbers . . . and ASHTHON JONES, who was eliminated, has the fewest overall.

--Here are the contestants ranked by their followers, with their total as of last night:

--Casey Abrams . . . 29,878 followers

--Scotty McCreery . . . 28,818 followers

--Paul McDonald . . . 24,467 followers

--Lauren Alaina . . . 21,029 followers

--Thia Megia . . . 20,650 followers

--Pia Toscano . . . 19,670 followers

--James Durbin . . . 19,010 followers


--Stefano Langone . . . 17,147 followers (--He made the Top 13 as a wildcard. America didn't vote him in.)

--Jacob Lusk . . . 11,437 followers

--Karen Rodriguez . . . 10,621 (--She was in the Bottom Three last week.)

--Haley Reinhart . . . 10,467 (--She was in the Bottom Three last week.)

--Naima Adedapo . . . 9,720 (--She made the Top 13 as a wildcard. America didn't vote her in.)

--Ashthon Jones . . . 6,652 (--She was the judges' third wild card, and she was eliminated last Thursday.)

(--So if this holds true, Naima is out this week, and Karen and Haley would probably be back in the Bottom Three.)

(--If you're interested in throwing some support Naima's way, become a follower. You can find the contestants' Twitter feeds here, along with links to the Facebook and MySpace accounts that "Idol" also set up for them.)


"THE BACHELOR" CHARADE

"The Bachelor's" Brad and Emily Insist That They're Still Engaged:

The romances forged on "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" do not last . . . that's a proven fact. Of the 20 seasons of both shows prior to this last one, only TWO of the couples are still together. That's 10%. --So no matter how much of the "Bachelor" juice your wife has chugged, it can't possibly come as a surprise to her that the "forever" love between the latest bachelor BRAD WOMACK and his new fiancée EMILY MAYNARD may not be so "forever" after all. --On Monday night's "After the Final Rose" special, Emily admitted that since taping the show, their relationship "certainly is not all roses." --And while they insisted that they still consider themselves a couple, she added that they're NOT currently "looking forward to a marriage." --That revelation BLEW SOME MINDS, and there's already all kinds of speculation online that they've broken up. But Brad and Emily insist that they're still engaged. --They released a joint statement saying, quote, "At long last, Emily and I can be open to the world and each other about our relationship. Though we are madly in love, it has been a bumpy couple of months for us and our priority right now is to focus on our relationship." --Yet, despite their relief that they can finally be "open to the world" about their relationship, they add, quote, "We hope that you can respect our privacy as we return to normalcy and begin our off-screen lives together." --How magical. OK, so they're not splitting up. Yet. (--They did not hint at when their inevitable break-up may happen . . . but if the over-under is six months, my money's on UNDER. I dare you to go OVER.) --In a blog post on People.com, Brad also said, quote, "People are going to ask, 'What's next?' The short answer is: Nothing (but everything). (???) Emily and I are so excited to begin a very normal life with a very real relationship. --"No press, no media, no 'exclusive' stories. We are looking forward to movie nights, cups of coffee together, hanging out with her beautiful daughter at the park and anything else that so many couples do on a daily basis." --Things seemed a lot more optimistic back in January, when Brad told E! Online that he found a keeper . . . quote, "When I say I'm in love, I mean it with every bone in my body. I am happier than I've been in 10, 15 years. Not a single [regret]. --"I'm very much in love." He added that the chances are, quote, "damn good" that he'll be married next year at this time. (--Hope he didn't bet the farm on that.)


If Brad and Emily Break Up . . . Would You Feel Duped?

Is it just me, or is "The Bachelor" an increasingly confounding phenomenon? Somehow, people still tune into this show in DROVES, and yet it's pretty obvious what's going to happen. --Everybody gets hyperemotional over some guy or girl they JUST MET, and anyone with half a brain knows they're ACTING . . . and probably just trying to end up being the next "Bachelor" or "Bachelorette". --Eventually, we get a final rose, and usually a marriage proposal, which is accepted. Then we find out during the finale that these two idiots barely even like each other anymore. --Who loses? YOU. You just spent over 20 hours of your life following this charade, with nothing to show for it. Is it entertaining? Is it somehow satisfying? --I'm not going to pretend that this is the only pointless show on TV . . . and I admittedly watch some of them myself . . . but "The Bachelor" is the same dog and pony show every freakin' season. I guess what I'm asking is . . . --When BRAD WOMACK and EMILY MAYNARD do bite the dust, will you feel DUPED? Or are you already looking forward to next season?


"The Bachelor" Finale Was Down in the Ratings:

An average of 13.8 million people tuned in for the THREE-HOUR finale of "The Bachelor" on Monday night. That was the lowest-rated "Bachelor" finale in three years, and was down 15% from last season's final episode.


The Entire Cast of "Welcome Back, Kotter" *Will* Be at the "TV Land Awards", and "The Facts of Life" Cast Will Be There Too:

It's happening: The full cast of "Welcome Back, Kotter" . . . including GABE KAPLAN, who played Mr. Kotter . . . will reunite at this year's "TV Land Awards". -We'd previously heard that JOHN TRAVOLTA had agreed to do it . . . but it was unclear if Gabe and Robert Hegyes, who played Epstein, would be involved. Now we know that they ARE. -But that's not all. The cast of "The Facts of Life" will also be there! --So far, we know that Mindy Cohn (Natalie), Kim Fields (Tootie), Nancy McKeon (Jo), Lisa Whelchel (Blair) and Charlotte Rae (Mrs. Garrett) are all taking part. --There's no word if GERI JEWELL will be there. She's a comedian with cerebral palsy who played Blair's cousin, a comedian with cerebral palsy named Geri. It was SPOT-ON CASTING! (???) --Geri was the first person with a major disability to have a regular role on a primetime series. She's also a lesbian, if that sort of thing intrigues you. --The "TV Land Awards" will tape on April 10th and air a week later, on April 17th. (--The former "Facts of Life" star that I'd most like to see there is George Clooney, who was on the show from 1985 to 1987. It's probably unlikely that he'd be there, but you never know . . . he's such a fun-loving rapscallion!!!)


Gwyneth Paltrow's Latest "Glee" Episode Came in 8th Place in the Ratings:

GWYNETH PALTROW returned to "Glee" last week. Her latest appearance on the show attracted 11.9 million viewers to finish in 8th place in the ratings. --Last night's "Glee" should do at least as well. It was the "original songs" episode and it featured some strong performances by Rachel and Mercedes. Gay Kurt also did a solid cover of the BEATLES classic "Blackbird".


Wednesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"American Idol" [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"Survivor: Redemption Island" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Kristina and Matt duel on Redemption Island.)

--"Minute to Win It" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--L.A. Lakers players Derek Fisher and Shannon Brown compete for charity.)

--"Mr. Sunshine" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--James Taylor guest stars as Crystal's ex-husband.)

--"Hot in Cleveland" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TV Land. (--Wendie Malick has a new love interest but his two children aren't too thrilled with the idea of their dad dating. He's played by "Trapper John MD" superstar Gregory Harrison.) (--He was studly surgeon Gonzo Gates on "Trapper John". But these days he's got a recurring role as Julian's father on "One Tree Hill".)

--"The Real World: Las Vegas" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV.

--"Face Off" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.

--"Storage Wars" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on A&E.

--"2011 mtvU Woodie Awards" . . . Midnight to 1:00 A.M. on MTV. (--"Community" star Donald Glover hosts the 6th annual awards show for the music most voted by college students. Performers include Foo Fighters, Sleigh Bells and Wiz Khalifa.)
Huge Scandal-Buster: Ne-Yo Does *Not* Hate Beyonce's Version of His Song:

NE-YO is being schooled on The Modern Media 101. --One week after backing his way into a beef with SNOOKI, Ne-Yo is now trying to console some easily excitable BEYONCÉ fans, who apparently believe he dissed her in a recent interview. But he didn't . . . at all. --He said, quote, "One song that I gave away and didn't want to . . . but it's actually a good thing that I did . . . is Beyoncé's 'Irreplaceable'. --"I honestly wrote that song for myself, but that song taught me a very interesting lesson: Many women don't think that differently. However, a man singing it comes across a little bit misogynistic, a little bit mean." --Somehow, an angry mob of Beyoncé fans misunderstood that as him saying he doesn't like her version. And Ne-Yo was forced to defend himself on Twitter. --He said, quote, "Send me the link to where I said ANYTHING disrespectful about Beyoncé, PLEASE! Dying to hear this." (--Here's the link to that audio. This is nowhere near a dis. He just answers a question the interviewer is BEGGING for.) --Then he added, quote, "Just heard the audio where I supposedly dissed Beyoncé. ARE Y'ALL SERIOUS!?! Did y'all even listen to what I said!?! She took the song and made it a smash, NOBODY can deny that." --"You know what? Y'all should listen a lil' harder before you start dissin' people. Makes you look real dumb. I'm tired of being nice to dumb people. --"Bottom line, Beyoncé is my friend . . . to HELL with anybody that ain't SMART enough to understand what I truly meant." (--I guess he stopped short of saying how he really feels.) --For real though, there are plenty of real scandals, issues and problems in the world today. There's Japan, our economy, CHARLIE SHEEN, and so on. So no matter how fun it may be to send Ne-Yo into a tizzy . . . let's cool it, OK?


Lady Gaga's Bracelets Have Raised $250,000 for Japan:

Lady Gaga says her customized "We Pray for Japan" wristbands have already raised $250,000 for Japan tsunami and earthquake relief. They cost $5 each, but you can pay $100 for one if you want to donate that much.


Jason Bateman Cried at Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never" Movie:

JASON BATEMAN has admitted that he teared-up while watching JUSTIN BIEBER'S "Never Say Never" movie. --On "Live! with Regis and Kelly" yesterday, Jason called "Never Say Never" a, quote, "great movie [that was] very touching." And he added, quote, "About midway through the movie, I'm bawling like a little schoolgirl." --Jason didn't go to the movie alone, by the way. He was with his four-year-old daughter. (--You can find video from the interview, here.)


A Few Videos from the Rock Hall Induction Have Surfaced . . . Along with a Transcript of Neil Diamond's Strange Speech:

Footage from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony has surfaced online. The event actually happened on Monday night. It'll air Sunday night on Fuse. (--Here's a video news report . . . and here's a brief clip of ALICE COOPER performing "I'm Eighteen".) --By the way, there's some talk going around about the acceptance speech NEIL DIAMOND gave, which seems like it was pretty off the wall. Neil wasn't smoking salvia or anything beforehand . . . he was just severely jet-lagged. --Here's what we know: Neil began the speech by taking pictures with his camera phone, and said, quote, "Here I am. I'm sorry I didn't write a speech. --"I just got off tour from Australia. I did a show two days ago, I got on a plane, commercial, yesterday. I've been flying my ass off for 45 hours, got in this morning. --"I have no idea where we are . . . What are we doing here? What the heck is going on right here?" -When some fans screamed from the balcony, Neil said, "They love me! They're crazy. But I love them, and I love you too, even though you didn't vote for me. I don't give a (crap)!" --He went on, quote, "I'm flying back tomorrow to Sydney (effing) Australia because they love me there! And I'm gonna keep going back 'til they stop loving me!" --Eventually, he wrapped things up by taking some more pictures with his camera phone and saying, quote, "What time is it? What day is it? And what the (eff) is this country?!" (???)

1
A Few Crazy New Music Videos:

#1.) GOOD CHARLOTTE filmed their "Last Night" video on the set of Nickelodeon's "Family Double Dare" . . . and it even includes a cameo from host MARC SUMMERS. You can check it out at FunnyOrDie.com.

#2.) A Canadian band called DANKO JONES have released a video called "I Think Bad Thoughts", which features ELIJAH WOOD and RALPH MACCHIO. (--Check it out at Billboard.com. ***WARNING***: It contains PROFANITY.)
Nate Dogg Has Died:

NATE DOGG died on Tuesday. He was 41. His family confirmed his passing last night. There's no word on a cause of death yet, but Nate suffered two serious strokes within a year back in 2008. --Last spring, his friend, Damion "Damizza" Young, said the strokes had left him speechless, literally. He said, quote, "Nate's way of communicating is to look up if it's a 'Yes' and to the side if it's a 'No.' He is steps away from speaking again." --Nate made his debut on DR. DRE'S classic album, "The Chronic", in 1992. He was a member of the rap group 213, along with SNOOP DOGG and WARREN G. --He released three albums, but was better known for his collaborations with other artists, including Warren G's "Regulate", Ludacris' "Area Codes", 50 Cent's "21 Questions", Eminem's "Shake That" and several Tupac Shakur tracks. --His collaborations got him four Grammy nominations. --DAZ DILLINGER, who worked with Nate frequently, Tweeted, quote, "R.I.P. TO MY HOMEBOY NATE DOGG . . . DOGG POUND GANGSTA 4 LIFE." --And QUESTLOVE of THE ROOTS reminded the world that Nate was not just "a rapper." He Tweeted, quote, "Damnit! Not Nate Dogg! Very rare to find an effective CONTROLLED non show-off singer in R&B (or whatever it's called) --"Nate was a rare dude. I don't like this 'rapper Nate Dogg' stuff. Dude had a GREAT, highly effective smooth velvet voice. No shame in being a crooner folks."


WEDNESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS

WHITNEY HOUSTON and BOBBY BROWN are reportedly trying to push their cocaine-loving daughter BOBBI KRISTINA into rehab. According to the "National Enquirer", anyway. (Full Story)



DEMI LOVATO got some new wrist tattoos that were inspired by the love she received from her fans when she was going through . . . whatever it is she was going through. (Full Story)



Minnesota Vikings running back ADRIAN PETERSON has compared the way NFL owners are treating the players to, quote, "modern-day slavery." (Full Story)



RYAN PHILLIPPE will take a paternity test to see if former girlfriend Alexis Knapp is pregnant with his child. But he'll only do it AFTER the baby is born, because there's a risk of miscarriage with prenatal paternity tests. (Full Story)



Everybody knows that one of the best episodes of "Scooby-Doo" was the one with Batman and Robin. Well, now Scooby and the gang are going to guest-star on the cartoon series, "Batman: The Brave and the Bold". The episode airs April 1st on Cartoon Network. (Full Story)



CHLOE SEVIGNY will star in an HBO miniseries about Lizzie Borden . . . who was acquitted of the ax murders of her father and stepmother in 1893. (Full Story)



COURTNEY LOVE once suggested to a journalist that they snort KURT COBAIN'S ashes. (Full Story)



"Playgirl" is offering $10,000 to anyone who can cough up a naked picture of ANDERSON COOPER. (Full Story)



JAMES TAYLOR broke his leg and injured his shoulder Monday while skiing in Utah. (Full Story)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

HERO OF THE DAY

To Stick It To His Credit Card Company, a Guy Paid His $6,500 Bill In Pennies:

Here's our JYY HERO OF THE DAY . . . a guy who got a little bit of revenge on the credit card companies for the rest of us.

--His name is Thierry Cahez (--Terry Ka-hez). He owns a pastry shop north of San Diego, and he's been battling with the credit card division of Chase bank over some charges and fees on his card . . . and because they wouldn't let him refinance. --So, he decided to get himself some revenge. --Thierry owed Chase $6,500. So he went to another bank and got it in PENNIES. 650,000 pennies to be exact. --Then he loaded them into his delivery truck and took them to his local Chase. --First they refused to take them because they weren't rolled. So . . . Thierry had them rolled. All 650,000 of them, in $1 rolls. --Then they told him his deposit was TOO BULKY. That many pennies weigh about 3,582 pounds, or close to TWO TONS. And that's not counting all the crates Thierry was using to transport them. --Finally, Chase caved . . . money is money, they couldn't refuse the payment . . . and sent Thierry and his pennies to another branch nearby that WOULD take his payment. (CW 6 - San Diego) (--Here's a CNN video about Thierry and his pennies.)


Groundbreaking Study of the Day: Men Move In With Their Girlfriends For More Sex . . . Women Move In For More Love:

You might want to sit down for this earth-shattering, groundbreaking news. Researchers at the University of California in San Francisco just finished a study to figure out why men and women are motivated to move in together before marriage. --And they found . . . men are motivated by the opportunity for more sex, women are motivated by the opportunity for more affection. No, really. --In the study, men mentioned "sex" as a reason for moving in 400% more than women. Women mentioned "love" 300% more than men. --The researchers say, quote, "Men also linked living together far less strongly to marriage than women. They view it as a 'test drive,' whereas women tended to discuss it as a short interval on the way to marrying their partner." (Daily Mail)


When You're Unemployed, Taking a Bad Job Is Worse For Your Mental Health Than Having No Job:

After you've been unemployed for a little while, it's natural to have that moment where you say, "I know it's not quite in my field . . . but COULD I be happy working as a trainee at Arby's?" Well . . . no, you couldn't. --According to a new study out of Australia, researchers found that when unemployed people took jobs way below their skill level, it actually made them MORE depressed than when they didn't have any job at all. (CNN)


A 13-Year-Old Has Successfully Started a Business To Sell Candles With "Man Scents":

This kid is going to be richer than all of us, man. --Last fall, 13-year-old Hart Main of Marysville, Ohio saw his sister selling candles for school. And he was making fun of her, like 13-year-old boys do, because all the candles had ultra-feminine scents like lavender and flowers. --So he thought of a business idea: What if he made candles that had MANLY scents. So he started a company called Man Cans and started making them. And they started selling. --His candles have scents like pizza, saw dust, fresh cut grass, leather baseball mitt, bacon, flapjacks, and campfire. --In the past few months, he's sold about 500 candles at $5 each . . . they only cost him $2.50 to make. He hasn't gotten rich yet . . . but he says he was able to buy himself a sweet new bike. --Now that he's starting to get national attention, his website is having trouble keeping up, but when it's working, you can order at Man-Cans.com. (NBC 4 - Columbus) (--'Man-Cans' . . . I'm just shocked no one bought that domain name before, to make a site devoted to the art of the man boob.) (--Here's a video featuring Hart and his Man Cans.)
Fort Wayne, Indiana Has Decided Not To Name a Building After Former Mayor Harry Baals:

Last month, there was a major controversy in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Residents wanted the city to name the new government center after a former beloved mayor named . . . HARRY BAALS. (--Pronounced like you think.) --That's Harry spelled H-A-R-R-Y and Baals spelled B-A-A-L-S . . . but it's the pronunciation, not the spelling, that was holding the city back. --After the story hit the news, tens of thousands of people from all over the world flooded Fort Wayne's feedback website with votes for Harry Baals to get the naming honor. --Well, the city has finally reached a verdict. And after much deliberation, Harry Baals has officially been dropped. --Tom Henry is Fort Wayne's new mayor . . . and I get the feeling he'll never live up to the standard of Harry Baals. Henry says the official name will be . . . the Citizens Square Government Center. --That's even though Harry Baals got the most votes and the second-place finisher was . . . THUNDERDOME. (--Two men enter, one man leaves.) --The mayor says Fort Wayne didn't reject Harry Baals because they thought people would make fun of them . . . they decided they didn't want to name the building after a person. Right. (Associated Press)


In New Mexico, New Buildings Have To Put Up a Plaque Thanking Taxpayers Before They Put One Up Thanking Elected Officials:

I love this new proposal that's flying through the New Mexico state legislature this week . . . I'm just shocked that the elected officials there were able to look past their egos long enough to make it happen. --The New Mexico state Senate just unanimously approved a new proposal that says any new or renovated public building has to put up a plaque thanking the TAXPAYERS before it can put up a plaque thanking elected officials. --It makes a ton of sense. Even though the elected officials are the ones who ultimately allocate the money to the building, it's not THEIR money. It's the taxpayers' money. --The proposal is now going to the state House. (The Republic)


The Average Person Carries Nine Keys . . . But Only Knows What Six of Them Unlock:

As soon as I saw this survey I said, "Yep, that's me." I'm one of those people who has an incredibly difficult time convincing myself to take a key off my keychain. --According to the survey, the average person carries around NINE keys . . . but can only say for sure what SIX of them actually unlock. --On average, women carry slightly more keys than men . . . women carry 10, men carry eight. Women also usually remember what their keys open a little better than men. --Almost one out of 10 people say they carry around more than 21 keys. --Only 10% of people say if they lose their house keys, they have the locks changed . . . most people figure whoever found their keys won't find their house. --20% of people say they have a key "hidden" within 10 feet of their house. Rocks are the most popular hiding place . . . slipping it under the doormat is second . . . and putting it under a car tire in the driveway is third. (The Register)


Chicago Has Become the First City in the U.S. to Let You Text Photos and Videos To 911:

Based on all of the fight videos we see on YouTube, it seems like people these days don't whip out their phones to call the cops when they see a CRIME going down . . . they RECORD it. In Chicago, people can now do both. --Chicago has become the first U.S. city where residents can text photos or videos of crimes to 911. Those files go to the police's crime prevention info center, then get forwarded to first responders or detectives. --Jose Santiago directs Chicago's 911 system. He says, quote, "Callers have a tendency to become confused or excited during a [crime report]. Pictures don't." --There's no word on when this might come to other cities. (Chicago Sun-Times)


A Mother In Manhattan Sues Her Daughter's Preschool For . . . Hurting Her Daughter's Chances of Getting Into an Ivy League School:

I will never understand parents who freak out about getting their kids into the best PRESCHOOL. I will, however, enjoy mocking those parents. Like this one. --Nicole Imprescia lives in Manhattan. She paid $19,000 a year in tuition to send her four-year-old daughter Lucia to an ELITE preschool . . . yes, an elite preschool . . . called York Avenue Preschool. --And now, Nicole is suing the school because she says it damaged her daughter's chances of getting into an Ivy League college. --See, according to Nicole, she paid that money so her daughter would get a rigorous preschool education, which could help her get into an elite kindergarten, which leads to an elite elementary school, and so on. --The endgame is an Ivy League school like Harvard or Yale. (--Not Cornell, I'm guessing. --But Nicole says York Avenue didn't think Lucia had the brains to keep up with kids her age, so they just dumped her with the two-year-olds to learn shapes and colors. Quote, "The school proved not to be a school at all, but just one big playroom." --She's suing to have her tuition returned. York Avenue Preschool didn't have a comment on the lawsuit. (New York Post)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS

A Man In Michigan is Going To Trial For Stabbing a Guy . . . While Holding His Baby In His Other Arm:

Well this is definitely the worst family Christmas ever. --Last Christmas, 28-year-old Russell Hilgendorf of Warren, Ohio was trying to find a parking space on the street near his house. But several of his neighbors had their families over, so the street was packed with cars. --Russell ended up getting into an argument with a neighbor, and it escalated. So eventually Russell ran home, grabbed a knife, and STABBED the guy. --Oh . . . and he stabbed him with one hand while he HELD HIS BABY in the other hand. --The victim was hospitalized but survived. --Russell was charged with attempted murder, assault with intent to do great bodily harm, and fourth-degree child abuse. --And now, finally, he was in front of a judge, and his trial has been set. --He could be looking at 20 years in prison. (Macomb Daily)


Cops in Colorado Busted Joseph Moron For Domestic Abuse:

Sometimes they just write themselves, folks. On Sunday, the police in Aurora, Colorado arrested a 35-year-old man for domestic abuse. That man's name is . . . Joseph Moron. --Moron's girlfriend called the cops to tell them Moron was assaulting her. Moron had been arrested for domestic violence before, so now, Moron is looking at felony domestic abuse charges. --Moron is currently being held without bond in jail. (The Smoking Gun)


A Bank Robber Who Was Busted After Showing Two Forms of ID Gets Eight Years In Prison:

Back in August, we heard about 49-year-old Nathan Pugh, from a town in Texas called Sachse (--sack-see). --Nathan tried to rob a Wells Fargo Bank in Dallas. He handed the teller a note saying he had a bomb . . . spelled B-O-M. She realized he wasn't so bright, so she told him she'd need to see two forms of ID to complete his robbery transaction. --He handed her his Wells Fargo debit card . . . and his state ID card. The police caught him and arrested him for bank robbery. --And yesterday, he was sentenced to eight years in prison. (Fort Worth Star-Telegram)


RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

The FCC is testing an update to their annoying Emergency Alert System. You know . . . "This is a test. This is only a test." Well, soon they'll also include announcements from the president. As if you weren't sick enough of him already. (Full Story)


Worst hoax ever? Someone pranked an Australian couple and told them their daughter died in the Japanese tsunami. (Full Story)


Owning a dog is a good way to get more exercise . . . but only if you actually WALK your dog. (Full Story)


The official countdown to the 2012 Olympics clock was unveiled in London on Monday . . . and ran for a whole day before stopping. (Full Story)



NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A Transgender on "Thailand's Got Talent" Switched Singing Voices Halfway Through a Song:

Here on the show, we're big fans of Thai lady-boys. Always have been. Especially when they sing. If you feel the same way, you should check out a video on YouTube called "Thailand's Got Talent: Boy or Girl?" --Basically, she starts out in a soothing, higher-pitched female singing voice. Then, halfway through the song, HE switches to a deeper dude's voice . . . and continues with the song. Either way, the crowd and the judges loved it. (--The switch happens at 1:04. You can hear 'her' speaking voice at 4:26. It's deeper, like the second part of the song, but could definitely still pass for a chick.)



#2.) Check Out Old Footage of Elvis Saying He Missed a NASA Rocket Launch . . . Because He Was "Buried in a Beaver":

If you're a big ELVIS fan, you might've seen the 1972 documentary "Elvis on Tour". But you probably haven't seen all the outtakes. There's one on YouTube of Elvis riding in a car in Florida and talking about a NASA rocket launch. --And he says he didn't get to see it because he was, quote, "buried in a beaver". Then he finds out the camera that's filming him also records sound, so he starts singing the hymn, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus". (--Search for "Elvis Buried in a Beaver." He says it at :13.) (--WARNING: The video includes the S-word and the word "beaver".)


#3.) A Baby Watches Mom Blow Her Nose . . . And Reacts With Both Terror and Amusement:

Baby videos are the scourge of YouTube, because EVERYBODY thinks their baby is fascinating. Most aren't. But there's one of a baby reacting to his mom blowing her nose, and he goes back and forth between thinking it's funny . . . and terrifying. (--Search for "Mommy's Nose Is Scary." Don't miss his last terrified reaction at :44.)



#4.) A Baseball Player Is Trying a Ridiculous New Batting Stance . . . And Basically Holds the Bat Like It's His Manhood:

The baseball season starts March 31st. And so far, the most homoerotic batting stance in spring training is the one San Francisco Giants outfielder AARON ROWAND has been experimenting with. --See if for yourself at TotalProSports.com, but he basically holds the bat at his crotch, points it straight out, and waves it around like he's going to the bathroom all over home plate. (--Search for "Aaron Rowand's Interesting New Batting Stance.")


Four Secrets Your Bikini Waxer Hasn't Told You:

Women do a lot of things for men, and one of the most painful is the bikini wax. So "Cosmo" has a new list of bikini waxing secrets that a lot of women don't know. Here are the top four.

#1.) Get Waxed Between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. That's when your pain threshold is at its highest. So it won't hurt as much as it would in the morning.

#2.) Take Aspirin or Ibuprofen 45 Minutes Before Your Appointment. They help with the pain, but they're also anti-inflammatories, so they help with any swelling afterwards.

#3.) Don't Schedule Your Waxing Right Before Your "Time." If it's that time of the month, your skin is more sensitive. Get waxed at least three days before you're supposed to start. And obviously, don't get waxed DURING that time.

#4.) After You Get Waxed, You Shouldn't Work Out for 48 Hours. Waxing makes your skin more sensitive to sweat, bacteria, and chafing, which can all cause little red bumps to pop up. And tight clothing can cause ingrown hairs. (Cosmopolitan.com)

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