Thursday, March 10, 2011

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (03-10-11)

SHEEN-ANIGANS

Charlie Sheen Tells "Life & Style" Magazine That He's Losing His Mind:

CHARLIE SHEEN makes some interesting comments in the new issue of "Life & Style" magazine. He actually sounds like he understands how RIDICULOUS he's being. --He says, quote, "I'm really starting to lose my mind. I'm ready to call anyone to help." --He adds, quote, "I'm really trying to contain myself right now. My lawyer wants to come over to my house and take the bullets out of my gun." --But he also vowed to keep fighting wife BROOKE MUELLER for custody of their twins, Max and Bob. --He said, quote, "She can't keep them from me. I won't let her. I'll do anything to get them back." (--Here's a picture of the "Life & Style" cover.)


Charlie Sheen Called "The Dan Patrick Show" Again Yesterday . . . and Said It Could Be His Last Interview:

CHARLIE SHEEN went back yesterday to the place where he first kicked off his crazy: "The Dan Patrick Show". --Asked if he's doing okay, Charlie said, quote, "[I'm] better than okay. I'm me. I'm 'winning'." --And he made this ominous comment . . . quote, "This could be my final interview, which is sort of symbolic because it's where it all began and it's where it all ends." --Charlie said he doesn't like talking to the press anymore because of the way they portray him . . . quote, "All they do is glad-hand me to get into my home and then they vilify me in their narrative speak. --"I mean do they teach this stuff in broadcasting school, to have this oozing, judgmental tone when they describe you in their horrible, troll-like voiceovers? . . . At the end of the day it's really about ratings, it's about commerce. --"[They act] concerned but their behavior is completely the opposite . . . it makes me a little bitter." --He later said he'd only do interviews with Patrick from now on. --Charlie said he's relieved to not have to do "Two and a Half Men" anymore, because it's a, quote, "slag pit of redundancy." --But he added, quote, "There's a part of me that kind of enjoyed taking all their money, so I kind of have to find something between the two to make myself happy again." --Charlie also gave props to JOHN STAMOS and ROB LOWE . . . who've both been mentioned as possible replacements for him. And he apologized for being, quote, "rude" to Stamos in an earlier interview.\ --Charlie gave John and Rob some advice if they do end up replacing him . . . quote, "What I would advise them to do, though, is just make it their own. --"Don't, don't, don't think about anything that I've done, brilliantly, on the show for 177,000 episodes . . . but I would just tell them, make it your own." --As for how the show would go about replacing him, he said, quote, "I don't even know if they would call the [character] 'Charlie' anymore . . . how does the show transition? --"Do you have Chuck Borre, that silly sad troll, do you have him talking to camera and say, 'Here's what happened' and then Rob Lowe shows up? Or do they just do it, without explaining it, and hope people don't notice?" (--You can listen to the interview here.)


Charlie Sheen Half-Apologizes to Jon Cryer . . . and Says Rob Lowe Should Be His Replacement on "Two and a Half Men":

In the second of two radio interviews CHARLIE SHEEN did yesterday . . . (--This one with K-Earth 101 in Los Angeles) . . . Charlie offered a HALF-APOLOGY to his "Two and a Half Men" co-star, JON CRYER. --As you probably recall, Charlie called Jon a TURNCOAT and a TROLL for not calling him during all this chaos. --But now, Charlie says, quote, "I was in a mood, and I threw that out there . . . It's kind of a half apology. It's an apol." --He also endorsed ROB LOWE as his "Two and a Half Men" replacement. He said, quote, "He's a buddy of mine. He's a beautiful man. He's a brilliant actor. And I hope he does it and kicks its ass because I still get pizzaid." (???) (--That point is still in dispute. Charlie thinks he's going to make bank by suing CBS and Warner Brothers over his firing.) (--There's also a rumor that he has a clause in his contract that states he gets paid for as long as the show goes on . . . even if he's no longer on it. But Charlie's former bosses are probably of the opinion that they owe him NOTHING.) --Charlie also said his days in TV are probably over . . . and he's hoping to make some movies with "genius" directors. He said, quote, "I'm not really worried. I got no job, I got no dough, but . . ." (--You can listen to this interview here.)


Random Sheen-Anigans:

#1.) CHARLIE SHEEN shot a sketch for FunnyOrDie.com that'll be up on their site sometime today. (Full Story)

#2.) Coming this summer . . . the Charlie Sheen comic book! (Full Story)

#3.) Charlie Sheen's call for an intern has resulted in more than 74,000 responses from 181 countries. (Full Story)

#4.) A porno company is offering Charlie a job directing a sex flick called "Two and a Half Women" . . . starring three chicks he has reportedly nailed. (Full Story)

#5.) Here's a poem Charlie wrote in 1996, called "(Eff) It". (Full Story)

#6.) Not surprisingly, news shows and magazines have gotten big boosts from their Charlie Sheen coverage. (Full Story)


Mel Gibson Made a Deal In His Domestic Violence Case:

MEL GIBSON has reached a deal with prosecutors to settle his domestic violence case. --He'll plead NO CONTEST to a misdemeanor charge of battery, and will face NO JAIL TIME. Instead, he'll get some probation and most likely have to undergo counseling. He'll enter his plea in court tomorrow. --Not surprisingly, Mel's people want everyone to believe he only did this to get the case over with as quickly and painlessly as possible. --His attorney says, quote, "[Mel's] right to due process can only be exercised in this case with an enormous media circus attached. --"Mel's priority throughout all of this has been that the best interests of his young daughter Lucia and the rest of his children be put first in any decisions made. --"It is with only that in mind that he asked me to approach the District Attorney with a proposal that would bring all of this to an immediate end." --Mel is accused of assaulting then-girlfriend OKSANA GRIGORIEVA at his Malibu home in January of 2010. He claims he slapped her once, and only to calm her down, because she was shaking their baby. --Let's not forget: Mel accused Oksana of trying to extort him with those PRICELESS phone recordings that were unleashed upon the public last year. --And RadarOnline.com is reporting that the D.A. has DECLINED to press charges against her, because there isn't enough evidence. (--In retrospect, those recordings sound almost SANE compared to what we've been hearing from CHARLIE SHEEN. Although Mel's definitely got Charlie beat in the ferocity department.) --Speaking of Oksana . . . RadarOnline.com says the D.A.'s office is upset with Mel's attorney for breaking news of the settlement before anyone told HER about it. --A source says, quote, "For Oksana to have to find out through the media what was going to happen is absolutely unprofessional and makes no sense at all."


Miley Cyrus Flipped Out on a Photographer Who Pushed Past Her Mom:

MILEY CYRUS went ballistic yesterday on a photographer who pushed past her mom to get a better angle on her. --Miley and TISH were leaving a joint called the California Chicken Cafe when the guy tried to dart around Tish to get Miley's picture. --There was apparently some contact made . . . although it's hard to tell just how hard the guy hit her. But that set Miley OFF. --She got right in the guy's face and shouted, quote, "Are you serious? You just hit my mom with your camera! You just ran into my mom with your camera.
--"Don't you ever do that again. You just almost hurt my mom. Don't you ever even think about it!" --The whole time, the guy kept saying, quote, "I would never disrespect your mom!" (--Watch the video here.) --Speaking of Miley . . . HollywoodLife.com says she's trying to get with KINGS OF LEON bassist JARED FOLLOWILL. --A source says, quote, "She often sends him coy text messages. So far, he is a big fan of what she has been sending."


Lindsay Lohan Might Not Have To Decide Her Fate Today After All:

LINDSAY LOHAN might not have to decide her fate in court today after all. --Last night, TMZ reported that when Lindsay shows up at the courthouse, she'll be granted a continuance, so that her attorney can keep on working out a deal. --As far as we know, the judge still hasn't backed off his position that any deal will DEFINITELY involve jail time. Lindsay's attorney is probably haggling over just how much jail time she'd get. --Earlier yesterday, everybody was reporting that Lindsay had decided NOT to take a deal. --Meanwhile, "Entertainment Tonight" released more of the surveillance video from Kamofie and Company. --This clip shows Lindsay leaving the jewelry store with the supposedly stolen necklace on . . . while the clerk smiles, laughs and holds the door for her. (--You can watch it here.) (--One last note: Kamofie is now going to auction off the necklace and give the proceeds to charity. You can learn more about that here.)


Chris Brown Calls His Assault of Rihanna a "Mishap":

CHRIS BROWN likes to complain about how unfair it is that we still judge him for brutally beating up RIHANNA two years ago. Then he goes and does something like this . . . --In an interview with the "New York Post", Chris refers to that assault as a, quote, "MISHAP". (!!!) --Talking about his friends in the music industry who distanced themselves from him after it happened, he says, quote, "You can't blame people for how they want to be portrayed or if they don't want to be associated with somebody who had a particular mishap." --But he adds that the people who DID turn away from him showed their, quote, "true colors." --He also says he's done apologizing for it . . . quote, "At the end of the day, if I walk around apologizing to everybody, I'm gonna look like a damn fool." --Obviously, women's rights groups are NOT cool with this. Erin Matson of the National Organization for Women says, quote, "It was not a mishap, this was a serious act of violence. --"No woman who has been assaulted would refer to it as a mishap, nor should anyone refer to it as such."
Alyssa Milano Isn't Worried About Being a Mom Because "It's Really Hard to Kill a Baby":

A lot of first-time parents are TERRIFIED at the responsibility that faces them. But not ALYSSA MILANO. Alyssa is pregnant with her first child, but she's not worried at all, thanks to some advice she got recently. --She says, quote, "It sounds kind of harsh but a friend of the family recently told me it's really hard to kill a baby. That made me feel much better!" (--Yeah, she's kind of joking . . . but maybe not completely. Think about it: The Octomom's still got all 14 of hers. If she hasn't killed one yet, they MUST be pretty durable.)


Jonah Hill is Losing Weight. Can He Still Be Funny?

"Superbad" star JONAH HILL has made his reputation in Hollywood as the stereotypical FUNNY FAT GUY. But with the new "21 Jump Street" movie set to start filming next month, Jonah decided to slim down. And he's succeeding. --Does that mean he'll lose his comedy edge? E! Online asked his rep to comment, and they got a suitably snarky reply. He said, quote, "Comment on being healthy?" (--Here are two sets of before-and-after pics.)


Simon Cowell Says "American Idol" Is Better This Year Than It Was Last Year:

SIMON COWELL thinks "American Idol" is better this year than it was last year, when he was still there. --In an interview on "Piers Morgan Tonight", which airs next Monday, Simon says, quote, "I personally think it is a better show than last year. I genuinely do. --"It feels to me that they've got their energy back, that they're confident, that they're competitive." --Simon says that all the judge-shuffling caused a, quote, "weird atmosphere." --He says, quote, "I always think of Idol really as me, Paula [ABDUL], and Randy [Jackson]. And I think when other people were brought in, and Paula wasn't there, it was, to me, like being on a different show." (--You can watch that clip from the interview, here.)


The Case of the Missing Scott Dangerfield Has Been Solved:

The Case of the Missing Scott Dangerfield has been solved! (--And no, that's not the title of an upcoming MICHAEL CERA movie.) --If you watched "American Idol's" Milwaukee auditions this year, you might remember 22-year-old Scott Dangerfield. --He was the dorky student-teacher . . . with the AMAZING LIPS . . . that probably reminded you a LOT of CLAY AIKEN. (--Here's his audition clip.) -The judges loved him, and he made it through to Hollywood, but when it came to Hollywood week, he was nowhere to be found. Well, we now know what happened. --He tells TMZ that he quit because the show interfered with his teaching obligations. However, he says he's planning on auditioning again next year.


This Is the Mansion the "American Idol" Kids Are Living In:

TMZ has released some pictures of the AWESOME Beverly Hills mansion that this year's "American Idol" contestants are calling home. It's worth about $12 million and costs $100,000 a month to rent. (--Check it out.)


Julianne Moore Will Play Sarah Palin in an HBO movie:

JULIANNE MOORE will play SARAH PALIN in an upcoming HBO movie about JOHN MCCAIN'S 2008 presidential campaign. --The movie, titled "Game Change", is based on a book called "Game Change: Obama and the Clintons, McCain and Palin, and the Race of a Lifetime" by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin. --No other casting information has been announced, and there's no word on when it might premiere. (--Obviously, they didn't go after TINA FEY, because this is a SERIOUS movie. But I have another theory as to why they passed over her. . .) (--Julianne is infamous for being cool with doing full-frontal nudity in her movies . . . whereas Tina Fey may not be.) (--So maybe they're taking the story in that kind of direction? I mean, nothing says "edgy" to HBO like making chicks take their clothes off.) (???)

The PTC's Next Target: "Good Christian (B-Words)":

The Parents Television Council has officially zeroed in on its next target: ABC's "Good Christian (B-words)". And they're REALLY trying to nip this one in the bud, because not only has it not even aired yet . . . it just started CASTING --Obviously, the PTC is upset with the TITLE, which is all they really have to go on. --PTC president Tim Winter says, quote, "ABC's decision is not only an affront to women, it blatantly attacks the world's largest faith. The 'B-word' is toxic and is used to degrade, abuse, harass, bully and humiliate women. --"And the 'Christian' element only adds insult to injury. Would ABC even consider another faith to denigrate? Would they even consider a program title or a plot line based on 'Bitches' who were Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist? --"I suspect not, and I certainly hope not. So why the double standard?" (--He didn't address the word "Good", so we're assuming he's OK with that part.) --"Good Christian (B-words)" is the show's working title because that's the name of the book it's based on. It'll almost surely be re-named if it makes it to TV, but Winter says that isn't the point. --He says, quote, "Regardless of whether the title ultimately makes it to broadcast, ABC has publicly proclaimed its values and it has tarnished the Disney brand." (--ABC is owned by Disney.) (--ABC did use this profane working title on purpose . . . for attention or something. They also have shows in the works called "Don't Trust the (B-word) in Apartment 23" and "My Frickin' Family".)


Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"American Idol" [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Adam Lambert, Diddy-Dirty Money and Skylar Grey perform.)

--"Bones" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons returns as Angela's father. And he requests that he be allowed to name her unborn child.)

--"The Mentalist" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Fat, lazy-eyed LaRoche takes over the CBI and names Cho as the team leader.)

--"Fairly Legal" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on USA. (--A British actor named Chris Vance plays a singer fighting with his former bandmates to allow their song to be used in commercial.)


Lady Gaga Had a "Traumatic Experience" When She Was Younger . . . But Doesn't Want to Say What It Was:

LADY GAGA opens up about her pre-fame struggles in a new book by rock journalist Neil Strauss. The book, "Everyone Loves You When You're Dead: Journeys into Fame and Madness", comes out next Tuesday. --Lady Gaga admits that she had a, quote, "traumatic experience" when she was younger, but wouldn't elaborate because it'd be "twisted and turned" by the media. --Strauss explains, quote, "She said it was so horrible that she didn't want it in her younger fans' heads. I think she felt that if she opened up about herself, then it would define her and that's all anyone would ask about." --Lady Gaga did say, quote, "I didn't have a bad childhood. All of the things I went through were on my own quest for an artistic journey to (eff) myself up like [Andy] Warhol and [David] Bowie and Mick [Jagger], and just go for it. --"All of the trauma I caused to myself. Or it was caused by people that I met when being outrageous and irresponsible." --Lady Gaga also says that there were aspects of her life as a struggling artist that scare her when she thinks about them in retrospect. --She says, quote, "Sometimes it freaks me out . . . it petrifies me . . . when I think about laying in my apartment [in New York] with bed bugs and roaches on the floor and mirrors with cocaine everywhere . . . --"And no will or interest in doing anything but making music and getting high. --"I've had such obstacles with drugs and rejection and people not believing in me. It's been a very long and continuous road that I love, but it's hard to just chalk it up to myself. I have to believe there's something greater than myself."


50 Cent Is Sending His Gaddafi Money to UNICEF:

50 CENT has become the latest artist to apologize for accepting a big paycheck to perform for the family of Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi in recent years. And he's donating the cash to UNICEF to aid their relief efforts in Libya. --It's still unclear how much Gaddafi money he pocketed, or how much he'll be donating. But other artists banked $1 million for their performances. This closes the book on the KNOWN artists who have accepted money from the Gaddafi family. --Nelly Furtado, Beyoncé and Usher have donated their fees to charity. Mariah Carey said she was "embarrassed" that she took money from the Gaddafis, but didn't commit to coughing up her dough.
It's On! Between Ne-Yo and Snooki:

NE-YO lost a fan earlier this week. And that fan was SNOOKI from "Jersey Shore". --On Monday, Ne-Yo expressed his disdain over "Rolling Stone's" decision to put Snooki on the cover of their current issue. --He Tweeted, quote, "Wow. Snooki is on the cover of 'Rolling Stone' magazine. Really? I quit. (Just kidding, but almost serious.)" -"No disrespect to Snooki, I don't know her, but damn 'Rolling Stone'? REALLY? REALLY! I guess . . . I feel a rant coming on, but at the sake of sounding like I'm complaining or even hating, Imma chill. I got y'all. New album on the way." --The next day, Snooki responded, quote, "Ne-Yo's mad that I got the cover of 'Rolling Stone'? Hm, you lost a loyal fan. What a buzz-kill. #Sorry." --Ne-Yo wasn't exactly crushed to hear that. He said, quote, "I think I'll be all right." --By the way, Ne-Yo wasn't alone. PINK also rolled her eyes at the cover . . . Tweeting, quote, "Dear 'Rolling Stone', Really?" (--Here's the cover.)


Adele Tops the "Billboard" Chart for a Second Week:

ADELE'S album "21" sold another 168,000 copies this week to remain firmly atop the "Billboard" chart. Her closest competition was MARSHA AMBROSIUS, whose new album "Late Nights & Early Mornings" sold 96,000 copies in its first week.

--Here's the rest of this week's Top 10 . . .

1.) "21", Adele (168,000 copies)

2.) (NEW) "Late Nights & Early Mornings", Marsha Ambrosius (96,000 copies)

3.) "Sigh No More", Mumford & Sons (54,000 copies)

4.) "Never Say Never: The Remixes", Justin Bieber (53,000 copies)

5.) "Now That's What I Call Music! Vol. 37" (44,000 copies)

6.) (NEW) "Going Out Of Style", Dropkick Murphys (43,000 copies)

7.) (NEW) "Town Line", Aaron Lewis from Staind (38,000 copies)

8.) "My World 2.0", Justin Bieber (33,000 copies)

9.) "Doo-Wops & Hooligans", Bruno Mars (32,000 copies)

10.) Pink's "Greatest Hits . . . So Far!!!" (31,000 copies)


THURSDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS

ASHLEY OLSEN has split from boyfriend JUSTIN BARTHA. He played Doug, the guy everybody's looking for, in "The Hangover". They dated for about two years. (Full Story)



ASHLEE SIMPSON appears to be dating a new guy. He's a musician by the name of Craig Owens. (Full Story)



African-American actor ROMANY MALCO . . . from "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" and ABC's "No Ordinary Family" . . . says a female cop pulled her gun on him for no reason during a traffic stop. He even videotaped himself asking for her badge number. (Full Story)



The not-always-reliable British tabloids say James Bond producers want ANTHONY HOPKINS as the villain in the next flick. (Full Story)



CREED singer SCOTT STAPP has a lot of stuff in the works . . . all of which you would've been VERY interested in back in 1998. He's working on a new Creed album, a new solo album, AND an autobiography. (Full Story)



So-called "sources" say KATIE COURIC is looking to land a syndicated talk show once her "CBS Evening News" contract expires in June. There's been a lot of talk that she'd have to take a significant pay cut to stay with CBS. (Full Story)


STUPID NEWS

The "Seven-Year Itch" Is Dead . . . Now Couples Get Sick of Each Other In Three Years:

Everything happens faster in the digital age: BETTY WHITE went from "Golden Girls" has-been to "SNL" host in five months . . . the homeless guy with the radio voice blew his second chance in record time . . . and, well, CHARLIE SHEEN. --So it's not really surprising that couples are getting sick of each OTHER quicker than ever now, too. --The old rule of thumb was that couples got the "seven-year itch": Around the seven-year mark in a relationship, you begin to take each other for granted and your eye might start wandering.

--According to a new survey, that's now down to THREE YEARS.

--52% of people who've been in a relationship for less than three years say they still get-it-on at least three times a week. That drops to 16% for couples who've been together more than three years. And more than half say they even feel like they have to SCHEDULE relations now.

--67% of people who are in three-year-plus relationships say that small irritations that used to seem harmless are now major sources of annoyance.

--People who are in shorter relationships say their partner gives them about three compliments a week. After three years together, that drops down to one a week. (Reuters)


The 10 Biggest "Passion Killers" In a Relationship Include Long Work Hours, Snoring, and Not Regularly Buying Better Underwear:

According to a new survey, these are the top 10 things you do that are "PASSION KILLERS." Yes, you. You specifically. Sorry to call you out like this.

#10.) Disgusting bathroom habits, like leaving nail clippings on the floor, or a stained toilet bowl.

#9.) Bad fashion choices, and not regularly replacing your underwear with new, more attractive underwear.

#8.) Snoring.

#7.) Drinking too much alcohol.

#6.) Not bringing the romance anymore.

#5.) Too much time with in-laws or extended family. Especially having one of your parents move in with you.

#4.) Personal cleanliness and hygiene issues.

#3.) Long work hours.

#2.) Becoming too tight or too loose with money.

#1.) Gaining weight, and a lack of exercise.

(Reuters)


Last Year, Only 6% of Newlywed Women Chose To Hyphenate Their Last Name:

For a little while there, it looked like schools were going to be flooded with a generation of kids with hyphenated last names. So I give credit to today's women: Even though they want to assert their liberation, they KNEW we couldn't have that. --According to TheKnot.com, in the past two years, only 6% of newlywed brides decided they were going to go with a hyphenated last name. 10% chose to keep their own name . . . and 84% took their husband's last name. (Shine from Yahoo)


Your Complete Lack of Rhythm Might Actually Be a Medical Condition Called "Beat Deafness":

Great news, white people! According to scientists at the University of Montreal, your complete lack of rhythm might not be your fault. --They've actually identified a condition called "BEAT DEAFNESS," where a person's brain actually can't PROCESS a musical beat . . . which makes it impossible to properly dance to it. --Unfortunately, before you say "Well that explains it, I am a horrible dancer because I have beat deafness" . . . there's only been one documented case of this EVER in the entire history of mankind. --That doesn't mean there's only one human in history who had beat deafness . . . he's just the only one who had it diagnosed. --He's a 23-year-old who's been identified at Mathieu, and the team at the University of Montreal has been studying his case. --They believe that beat deafness comes from a disconnect in the brain between the area that identifies rhythm and the area that controls movement. --Their next step is to see if they can find other people with beat deafness, to try to learn more about what makes it happen. (Science News)


Thanks To Rising Cotton Prices, Dollar Bills are Now Worth Less Than the Paper They're Printed On:

There are three things that Americans will NEVER accept. One, the metric system . . . two, soccer . . . and three, dollar coins. The government has been trying forever to get us to use dollar coins and we LOATHE them. --Well . . . if current trends continue, we may not get a choice. --Our money is printed on paper that's 75% cotton, 25% linen. Cotton prices have been skyrocketing globally. And it's gotten to the point where the cost of the cotton plus the cost of manufacturing each bill is MORE than $1. --In other words, dollar bills are worth less than the paper they're printed on. --In response, the U.S. Government Accountability Office just released a study that shows how replacing dollar bills with dollar coins could save the country $5.5 BILLION over the next 30 years. --Not only would it be cheaper to make coins, but they're more durable than bills so they'd last longer. --The GAO says if the government did commit to dollar coins, the only way to make it work would be to PULL $1 bills from circulation. Previous studies have shown that as long as dollar bills are around, Americans will reject dollar coins. --They say the process of transitioning from dollar bills to dollar coins would take about four years. (Time / Reuters)


Did You Know You Can Rent Designer Purses, 20-Inch Rims . . . and Even Coffins?

If there's one thing the economic collapse has taught us, it's that people really, really want to own rich people's stuff . . . even when they make $17,000-a-year. And now, even though the credit to pull that off is harder to get, there's still hope. --That's because luxury rental companies are becoming more popular. They'll happily RENT you the stuff you can't afford, so you can temporarily look like you're rich WITHOUT attracting repo men. Here are some examples . . .

--Rims. There are companies springing up all over that will rent 20-INCH RIMS for your car for $20-a-week. You can even rent-to-own. There's one in California called EZ Rims 4 Rent, and there's one in the southeast called RimTyme.

--Designer Handbags. A website called BagTropolis offers rentals on Chanel, Gucci, and more. For around $20 a week or $300 a month, they'll overnight you a purse you couldn't afford otherwise.

--iPhones. A few different companies, like InTouch USA and iPhone Trip, will rent you an iPhone for around $12 per day.

--Coffins. That's right. If you want to have a nice casket at your viewing, your family can rent one from a funeral home. Then, once it's actually time to bury you, they remove a container from inside the coffin and THAT goes into the ground. (Daily Finance)
Starbucks is Being Sued For a Man's Death . . . Because They Didn't Properly Secure Their Tip Jar?

On March 3rd, 2008, 54-year-old Roger Kreutz of Crestwood, Missouri was at a Starbucks when he saw a teenager STEAL the TIP JAR that was out on the counter. That teenager was 19-year-old Aaron Poisson. --Roger's Good Samaritan instincts kicked in, and he started chasing Aaron. As Aaron got into his car, he and Roger struggled. Aaron finally got the car started and backed out of the parking lot. Roger fell and hit his head. --Roger died two days later from head injuries. It turned out there was less than $5 in the tip jar. --Police eventually caught Aaron. He pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter and got one year in prison. --But that wasn't the end of the case. On Monday, Roger's family filed a lawsuit against Starbucks. They say that Starbucks INVITED the crime to happen by not properly securing their tip jar . . . and as a result of that, Roger died. --They're seeking unspecified damages. Aaron is not named in the suit. --Starbucks didn't have a comment on the case. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)


Stanford Has Been Busted For Giving Their Athletes a List of Easy Classes:

Stanford University does really well at sports. Their football team has become a powerhouse, they've had some great basketball success . . . and they even launched TIGER WOODS. --And all of it's strange, because usually "smart" schools have trouble in sports since they refuse to recruit athletes who can't handle their top-level academics. And sadly . . . those are usually the BEST athletes. --So this makes perfect sense. Some journalists started poking around and found out one way Stanford helps their athletes stay academically eligible. --Turns out, every semester, the Stanford athletic department puts together a list of EASY CLASSES and passes the list out to its athletes. That way they know exactly which classes are the classic "jock classes." --The most recent list included courses like "Social Dances of North America," "Interpersonal Relations," and "Beginning Improvising." --Stanford's athletic department quickly responded. They say people have it all wrong. The list isn't supposed to be EASY classes . . . it's supposed to be EARLY classes that free athletes up for afternoon practice. --But even if that's true, the university has decided to stop using the list. (San Francisco Chronicle)


MEATBALL CRIMINALS

Police In Pennsylvania Busted a Group of People Who Set Up Online Dates . . . Then Robbed the Men When They Showed Up:

Here's a little hint about online dating. If you go out with a woman, have a mediocre date, and then she suddenly invites you back to a cheap motel for some after-dinner sex . . . it's NOT because you're handsome and charming. --Police have busted a ring outside Philadelphia where women would meet guys through online dating sites . . . go out with them . . . then invite them to motel rooms where two men would rob them. --They started doing it back on the first of the month. The women would go on the site Lavalife.com . . . which is a legit dating site that also has a Craigslist-style casual encounters section. --One of the women would go out with a guy . . . usually to OLIVE GARDEN . . . and then, after dinner, invite him back to a motel in Bensalem, Pennsylvania. Once the guy got naked, a man would barge into the room with a gun and rob him. --The police caught on to the scam quickly and set up a sting over the weekend. On Saturday, they caught the four people in the act. --They arrested 35-year-old Lisa Sourbine, 36-year-old Jennifer Partington, 27-year-old John Taimanglo, and 28-year-old Tariq Martin for first-degree felony robbery. Each of them could be looking at up to 20 years in prison. (PhillyBurbs.com)


A Woman Got Revenge On Her Cheating Husband . . . By Flying Across the Country and Cutting the Crotch Out of the Other Woman's Pants and Underwear?

Last week, a woman whose name wasn't released found out her husband was on a Caribbean vacation in St. Lucia with another woman. --The wife and the husband live in separate states because of work. She's somewhere on the East Coast . . . he lives in Wilmette, Illinois. --And the wife decided she was going to get some serious revenge. So she hopped on a plane . . . flew to O'Hare in Chicago . . . took a cab to her husband's house in the suburbs . . . and broke in. --When she got inside, she said she was shocked to find that her husband had, quote, "hidden everything that would reveal he was married." She also found a bunch of the other woman's clothes in a suitcase and in the closet. --And she proceeded to get her revenge by . . . taking a pair of scissors and CUTTING THE CROTCH out of every single pair of the woman's pants and underwear. She ruined between $1,500 and $2,000 worth of clothing. --Then she spent the night at a friend's house, and flew back home. --When her husband and the other woman got home from their trip, they found all the cut-up clothes in a suitcase in the driveway . . . and they figured out what happened. --And the husband says the wife is CRAZY . . . the trip wasn't romantic, the woman he was with in the Caribbean is just an old friend. Plus, he and his wife aren't even technically married anymore . . . they're separated.
--The other woman refused to press charges. (Chicago Tribune)
Two Robbers Camped Out In a Bank Vault For Three Days . . . But Cops Caught Them By Testing the Pee They Left Behind In Plastic Bags:

On a Friday, two bank robbers in Copenhagen, Denmark hid inside a bank vault. They robbed more than 140 safety deposit boxes and took at least $500,000 over the course of the weekend. --Then, when the bank opened on Monday, they escaped. --And during the three days they were in the vault, they relieved themselves into plastic bags. They managed to escape by taking the bags of pee and THROWING them at guards. --That worked, but they made one mistake: They left one full bag behind. --Investigators tested the pee . . . got the robbers' DNA . . . and connected them to the crime. --They've only been able to track down one of the two men so far, and he's looking at 21 months in prison. (The Local)


A Mother is Sentenced To 18 Months In Prison for Using Her 10-Year-Old Daughter As a Designated Driver:

Last year, 33-year-old Audrey Willoughby of Port St. Lucie, Florida didn't want to drive drunk. That's admirable. But she decided to avoid committing that crime by committing another crime that could be considered MUCH worse. --Audrey had her 10-YEAR-OLD daughter drive. And it wasn't just Audrey in the car: Her 39-year-old boyfriend was there, also drunk . . . and Audrey's eight-year-old boy was in there too. --Audrey's 10-year-old wasn't a great driver: She crashed the Toyota Corolla into THREE PARKED CARS, which made her panic, hit the gas . . . and ram the car into a HOUSE. --Amazingly, no one was hurt. --This week, Audrey pleaded no contest to child abuse charges. As a part of the plea, she'll get 18 months in prison. --Her boyfriend was also charged with child abuse. Back in January, he was sentenced to 13 months in prison. (Treasure Coast Palm)


Two Women Take Their Small Children Along On a Drug Buy . . . The Dealer Robs Them . . . And the Cops Arrest Them:

It's REALLY hard to feel any kind of sympathy for these two women after what was CLEARLY the worst day of their lives. --On Monday morning, 25-year-old Jame Brown and 31-year-old Dawn Pratt of Deltona, Florida went out to buy some drugs . . . and took their 10-year-old and two-year-old CHILDREN along with them. --Their dealer told them to go to a vacant house in Deltona, where they could buy Percocet. --When they got there, a guy came out of the house and pointed a gun at them. Their dealer . . . a 24-year-old named Melissa Alfonso . . . was working with the guy, told him not to hurt the children, and walked away. --The robber took $200 and their cell phone. So Jame and Dawn called the police, who used police dogs but STILL couldn't track down the robber. --But they DID arrest Melissa for being a principal to armed robbery . . . she was on probation after pleading no contest to trafficking hydrocodone. --Jame and Dawn were ALSO arrested and charged with child neglect causing great harm. Their children were also turned over to family members and the police contacted child services. (Daytona Beach News-Journal)


RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Check out the 15 dumbest warning labels from "Forbes", including: "Do not use while driving" on the 'Drive & Talk' speakerphone . . . "May contain nuts" on a can of peanuts . . . "Do not use while sleeping" on a hairdryer . . . and "Safety goggles recommended" for a letter opener. (Full Story)


Drinking beer is good for the economy: The beer industry creates 1.8 million American jobs, accounts for $71 billion in wages and benefits, and contributes $45 billion in business, personal, and consumption taxes. (Full Story)


The newest disorder is . . . 'shopping bulimia.' That's when you buy all kinds of stuff, then feel guilty and return it. (Full Story)


A 75-year-old hoarder died in Missouri a month ago, and when relatives cleaned out her home three weeks later, they found the mummified remains of her mother, who hasn't been seen since 1993. (Full Story)


Because of a boom in natural gas drilling, Wyoming is experiencing higher smog levels than L.A. and other big U.S. big cities. (Full Story)


According to a new study, people who have babies in their 20s are more likely to burn out than people who have them when they're older. And parents in their 30s are just as happy as childless couples . . . unless they have four or more kids. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A College Professor Was Honored in the First Half of a Basketball Game . . . Then Ejected in the Second Half:

In the first half of a George Washington University basketball game on Saturday, a part-time professor named Robert Kasmir was honored at half court for making a large donation to the school's athletic program. --Then in the second half, he was EJECTED for heckling a referee. According to a local news report, Kasmir told the official he was, quote, "the worst ref [he] had ever seen", and that he wasn't worth what the school was paying him. --But the best part of the whole thing was how Kasmir left the arena: He threw his arms up in the air, the crowd went nuts, then he high-fived a guy on the way out. (--Search for "GW Professor Booted From Basketball Game." He throws his arms in the air at :31.)


#2.) A Soccer Player Got Ejected From a Game For Tackling a Streaker:

A streaker ran onto the field during a soccer match in England the other day, which isn't that weird. But this is: One of the players TACKLED him . . . then got ejected from the game for, quote, "violent conduct". --The video is on YouTube, and it's somewhat safe for work because the streaker wasn't naked, he was wearing a neon green Speedo that went the whole way over his shoulders . . . like the one Borat wore. (--Search YouTube for "Streaker on the Pitch in Waterlooville." He tackles him at :42. WARNING: Near the end of the video, someone says the F-word and the C-word.)


Four Things Women Are Better At Than Men:

There's a new book out this month called "Man Down" that attempts to prove that women are "BETTER" than men. And each of the 36 chapters details something women do best. Here are four of them.

#1.) Not Dying in a Car Crash. A study at Carnegie Mellon University found that male drivers have a 77% higher risk of dying in a car accident than women do, possibly because men drive more aggressively. --And according to a separate study, men are also more likely to run you over when you're crossing the street. --In New York City over the past five years, 80% of the accidents in which a pedestrian was killed or seriously injured involved a male driver.

#2.) Gambling. According to a study of 40,000 gamblers, women are better at turning a profit because they tend to act more quickly and be more aggressive with their bets. --But here's what's weird: Women are also better at handling finances, because they tend to be more level-headed and focused on saving for the future.

#3.) Working the Room at a Cocktail Party. Women are much better at remembering words, faces, and daily events, which makes it easier to strike up conversations with people they barely know.

#4.) Getting Someone to Reveal a Secret. Some studies have shown that men actually gossip more than women do. And when it comes to getting people to tell them things, women have a few tactical "advantages" . . . a.k.a., cans. --Which is also one of the reasons the CIA uses female spies. (Cosmopolitan.com)

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