HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (April 26, 2011)

Lindsay Lohan is Doing "Leno" Tonight:

LINDSAY LOHAN taped an interview yesterday with JAY LENO for "The Tonight Show". It'll air tonight. There's no word yet what they talked about --This is obviously Lindsay's first interview since she learned she's got a four-month jail term hanging over her head. --Actress KRISTIN CHENOWETH was bumped to accommodate Lindsay's appearance.

 

Lindsay Lohan is Getting Her Own Comic Book:

LINDSAY LOHAN is getting her own comic book. Bluewater Productions . . . the company that makes all those other celebrity comics, will roll out "Infamous: Lindsay Lohan" in September. --Writer Marc Shapiro says, quote, "This issue can be seen as a tragedy in motion; its last chapter has yet to be written. --"Lohan is both a victim of the all-consuming celebrity culture and a perpetrator of bad decisions, the lack of self-control and an unhealthy sense of entitlement." (--Check out the cover here.) (Bluewater Productions)

 

Lindsay Lohan Will Do Some Of Her Community Service at the Morgue:

LINDSAY LOHAN will do 120 hours of her community service at the MORGUE. --She'll do janitorial work at the L.A. County Coroner's facility . . . and assistant coroner Ed Winter says, quote, "She won't be handling any dead bodies, but she'll certainly see them." --Lindsay's duties will include emptying garbage cans, mopping floors, picking up trash and cleaning windows. --Lindsay was sentenced to 480 days of community service for violating the probation she got for her 2007 DUI conviction. --Her other 360 hours will be served at the Downtown Women's Center, which provides housing, meals and other services to homeless and low-income women. --Lindsay was also slapped with a four-month jail term . . . but the judge allowed her to remain free on bail while she appeals it. (--The community service is non-negotiable.) --Sources say the appeal could take two to three months, but it's not likely to be successful . . . so all it'll really do is delay the inevitable.

 

Michael Lohan Is Going to Box John Wayne Bobbitt:

MICHAEL LOHAN is going to box JOHN WAYNE BOBBITT in Fort Lauderdale, Florida on June 4th. Unfortunately, the odds of one of them getting K.O.'d are pretty low. The fight will be three short one-minute rounds. --Bobbitt is, of course, famous because his then-wife LORENA cut off his penis in 1993. (--It was reattached and works to this day. Or so he says.) --This isn't just for show . . . it's benefiting a good cause. Celebrity Boxing founder Damon Feldman says, quote, "[We're] raising awareness for teen drug and alcohol addiction."

 

Mariah Carey Had an Easter Egg Painted on Her Pregnant Belly:

Does anybody else wish MARIAH CAREY would give birth already so she'd stop doing things like this? --Mariah had an Easter egg painted on her enormous pregnant belly over the weekend . . . and then, naturally, she Tweeted a picture of it. It's got one blue heart and one pink heart on it . . . to represent her twins, who are a boy and a girl. (--Check it out here.) (Us Weekly)

 

Kevin James Has a New Baby:

KEVIN JAMES and his wife Steffiana welcomed a baby boy on Easter Sunday. Unfortunately for the child, they named him Kannon Valentine James. --This is their first son. They also have two daughters, ages 5 and 3.

 

Rob Schneider Is Married:

ROB SCHNEIDER married his longtime girlfriend Patricia Azarcoya Arce on Saturday in Beverly Hills. --He issued a statement saying, quote, "Patricia and I were surrounded by our closest friends and family; it was the happiest day of my life. We had a great time at the wedding and are looking forward to our honeymoon." --Schneider is 47 years old . . . and this is his third marriage. (--You probably won't make fun of Rob's movies anymore when you see what he locked down over the weekend. Very nice. Check her out here.) (E! Online)

 

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari Are Engaged:

Former "Laguna Beach" star KRISTIN CAVALLARI and Chicago Bears quarterback JAY CUTLER got engaged over the weekend during a trip to Mexico. They've been dating since last fall.

The Breast Milk for Elton John's Baby Gets Fed-Exed By the Mother:

ELTON JOHN and DAVID FURNISH don't live near the mother of their 4-month-old son Zachary. But the kid still drinks his mom's breast milk. --Elton says, quote, "We have [it] Fed-exed from where she is." (--Elton is the biological father. The mother's identity has not been revealed.) --Elton and David would also like you to know that they don't rely on a battery of nannies and other staff to take care of Zachary. --Elton says, quote, "We have one nanny. And we're very hands-on. We change him, we bathe him, we feed him and we read him a story every night." --They're also doing everything they can to make sure Zachary doesn't grow up a spoiled punk. Elton says, quote, "The worst thing you can do to a child, and I've seen it happen so many times, is the silver spoon. --"Being the child of a famous person is very difficult, and we're very well aware of the pitfalls of that." --David adds, quote, "Our life might be very luxurious but it's all come from hard work. Both Elton and I have sort of earned everything we've done in our careers and furthered our educations through our own drive and our own ambitions, and we want Zachary to be exactly the same sort of way."

 

Nicolas Cage Might Be Under Investigation for Dropping His 5-Year-old Son During His Bender in New Orleans:

NICOLAS CAGE may be in trouble for more than just causing a scene in New Orleans a few weeks ago. Now he might have Child Protective Services on his case. --It turns out that sometime before Cage was arrested for public drunkenness and battery against his wife Alice, Cage also dropped his 5-year-old son Kal-El, causing the boy to scrape his knee. --According to the newly-released police report on Cage's arrest, Cage and Alice had gone to pick the kid up from a friend's house, and Cage, quote, "fell while holding their son. --"The fall caused the 5-year-old to suffer a minor abrasion to his left knee." --A witness who saw it happen said that Cage actually, quote, "pulled the male child to the ground by his hand." --A child abuse detective was called to check things out . . . and he didn't file any charges. But Child Services is reportedly looking into the case. (--You can read the police report here.) (--One last, quick note: Cage's adult son Weston got married Sunday as expected. The nuptials included a bonfire and the bride slipping a THOR RING on the groom's finger. Check out some more pics here.)

 

Bree Olson and Charlie Sheen Are Still In Touch:

Even though BREE OLSON flew CHARLIE SHEEN'S coop, there are no hard feelings. Bree's rep says, quote, "Things change sometimes. They are split but still remain in touch." --As for Charlie's claim that she dumped him by text, Bree's rep says, quote, "I don't think the text message is accurate." --Charlie may have found a new goddess at one of his Florida shows over the weekend. Video surfaced yesterday of Charlie kissing an old lady on the lips. (--It's nothing scandalous. It's really just a peck. No tongues or spit-swapping. Check it out here.)

 

Tracy Morgan Thinks Charlie Sheen Is An "(A-Hole)" Who's Hurting His Kids:

TRACY MORGAN has a little "torpedo of truth" for CHARLIE SHEEN. He says, quote, "Charlie Sheen ain't funny to me. I think that's a train wreck and I feel bad for his two little kids because they're the bodies being pulled out of the train wreck. --"What's going to happen to them? But everybody thinks it's a joke. While this (A-hole) is going on stage making a fool of himself his kids are going to suffer and don't even know it because this is a cycle of abuse."

 

Here's the Brandon Marshall 911 Call . . . What Little There Is Of It:

The BRANDON MARSHALL 911 call hit the web yesterday . . . but there's not much to it. (--He's a wide receiver with the Miami Dolphins.) --A woman who does not identify herself just tells the operator, quote, "Please come, it's an emergency." When the operator tries to get some info out of her, she repeats, "Please come, it's an emergency," then hangs up.
--The 911 operator tries to call back, but nobody answers. Obviously, though, they were able to get the address, and cops were sent to Brandon's Florida home, where they found him suffering from a stab wound to the stomach.
--We're assuming the caller was Brandon's wife, Michi Nogami-Marshall, who later admitted she stabbed her husband. But we don't know for sure that it was her.
--Michi was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. She claims she acted in self-defense. (--Listen to the call here.)

 

And Now . . . Donald Trump Is Feuding With Robert De Niro:

DONALD TRUMP continues to show what a classy presence he'd be on the political scene . . . by getting into a feud with ROBERT DE NIRO. (???) --De Niro recently took a shot at Trump and his birther nonsense, saying, quote, "Don't go out there and say things unless you can back them up. How dare you? That's awful to do . . . get the facts before you start saying things about people."
--As we all know, there is no high road where Trump is concerned. He had a playground-level response, as usual. He said, quote, "Well, he's not the brightest bulb in the planet.
--"I have been watching him over the years and I like his acting but in terms of when I watch him doing interviews and various other things, we are not dealing with Albert Einstein.
--"He can say what he wants but the fact is this guy [President Obama] has not revealed his birth certificate. A lot of people agree with me."
(--Here's video.)

Donald Trump Has Found a New Obama Conspiracy to Exploit: The President Didn't Deserve to Get Into an Ivy League School:

The birth certificate thing must have run its course for DONALD TRUMP . . . because now he's got a NEW controversy involving PRESIDENT OBAMA to pimp. --Apparently, Obama only made it into Ivy League schools because of some kind of major conspiracy. --Trump says, quote, "I heard he was a terrible student, terrible. How does a bad student go to Columbia and then to Harvard? I'm thinking about it, I'm certainly looking into it. Let him show his records. --"I have friends who have smart sons with great marks, great boards, great everything and they can't get into Harvard. We don't know a thing about this guy. There are a lot of questions that are unanswered about our president." (--In his book "Dreams From My Father", Obama indicated he wasn't always the best student. Still, he graduated MAGNA CUM LAUDE from Harvard Law School in 1991, and was the first black president of the Harvard Law Review.)

 

Johnny Depp Will Do a Cameo in the "21 Jump Street" Movie:

"Entertainment Weekly"
says that JOHNNY DEPP will indeed do an uncredited cameo in the upcoming "21 Jump Street" movie. --"Jump Street" was a show about a police unit of impossibly young-looking undercover cops who specialized in youth crime. It ran from 1987 to 1991. It was one of Johnny's breakthrough roles. He was on the show from '87 to 1990. --The movie was co-written by "Superbad" star JONAH HILL, who stars alongside CHANNING TATUM and JAMES FRANCO'S younger brother DAVE. (--"21 Jump Street" wasn't Johnny Depp's first acting gig. Does anybody know what was? It was the original "Nightmare on Elm Street" in 1984.)
(--Johnny played Nancy's boyfriend Glen . . . who gets sucked down into his bed by Freddy. You can see video of that scene here.)

 

"AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY

Lady Gaga's Potentially-Controversial "Judas" Video Will Premiere on "American Idol":

LADY GAGA'S video for "Judas" will premiere on "American Idol" sometime next week. That's interesting because "Idol" is a pretty family-friendly show, and "Judas" may be a fairly "controversial" video. --There aren't a lot of details on the video, but we do know that Lady Gaga will be playing the Virgin Mary . . . and that alone is probably enough to freak some people out. --The final "Judas" video has reportedly been "toned down" from its original concept, which was supposedly, quote, "too religiously charged." But regardless of that, some religious groups have already denounced the song itself. --For what it's worth, Lady Gaga's creative director Laurieann Gibson . . . who co-directed the video . . . says that she's religious, and she's cool with it. --She says, quote, "I will tell you now, first off, I'm Christian . . . and my career is evidence of God in my life. And I think that most people are already thinking that Gaga and the blasphemy and they're premeditating the approach . . . --"And I think they'll be very shocked to find out how huge and groundbreaking the message is and how freeing the message is for all the right reasons. And it's really going to shock the world." (--That can't be too reassuring for Christian parents.)

 

Katie Couric May Announce Her "CBS Evening News" Exit This Week:

KATIE COURIC has yet to announce that she's leaving the "CBS Evening News" when her contract is up on June 4th . . . but up to this point, it seems inevitable. --The "New York Times" reports that it'll finally become official this week, and that CBS will reveal her successor next week. --That person is expected to be "60 Minutes" correspondent SCOTT PELLEY . . . however, there are a few other names being rumored, including CBS' HARRY SMITH and RUSS MITCHELL.

 

Video of Karina Smirnoff Screwing Up on "Dancing with the Stars":

There was yet another performance blunder on "Dancing with the Stars" last night, but it wasn't KIRSTIE ALLEY this time. It was RALPH MACCHIO'S partner KARINA SMIRNOFF who tumbled to the ground. --They were dancing to C+C MUSIC FACTORY'S
"Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)". It was "guilty pleasures" week. (--Here's video. Karina hits the floor 30 seconds in . . . and recovers nicely afterward. --HANSON was also there to perform "MMMBop", which . . . believe it or not . . . came out over 14 YEARS AGO. (--Here's video. ***WARNING***: If you've had trouble kicking this song out of your head, you should probably skip this.)

 

Some "Dancing with the Stars" Cast Members Did a Beatbox Version of Rebecca Black's "Friday":

Downtime at "Dancing with the Stars" must get pretty boring. Boring enough that some of the cast members felt the need recently to stand around singing REBECCA BLACK'S
"Friday". --Mark Ballas provided some BEATBOXING, while "stars" Romeo and Chelsea Kane did most of the singing. Dancer Chelsea Hightower also got into the act . . . as did "American Idol" cast-off Pia Toscano, who's dating Mark. (--Here's the video.)

(--Pia was probably there to REHEARSE. She's singing on "Dancing With the Stars" tonight, with Mark dancing.) --By the way, Rebecca . . . or "R.B." if you prefer . . . is hoping that there's something in the cards for her beyond "Friday". (--And no, she isn't talking about Saturday . . . or Sunday, which . . . as we all now know . . . "comes afterwards.") --Rebecca says, quote, "I don't want to be known as the 'Friday' girl. Hopefully, I can be known as Rebecca Black and not the 'Friday' girl. I want to be a performing artist. That's what I've always wanted to do. --And she's going to try. She reportedly has a "five-song album deal" . . . an EP, I guess . . . and last we heard, she was working on a new jam called "LOL".

 

Tuesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"NBA Playoffs: Lakers vs. Hornets" . . . 10:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. Eastern on TNT. (--The Los Angeles Lakers host the New Orleans Hornets.)

--"Glee" . . . 8:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox. (--New Directions performs Lady Gaga's
"Born This Way" in a 90-minute episode that includes Kurt's return to the school.) (--Kurt's the gay kid who transferred out after being bullied by one of the jocks.)

--"Repo Games" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on Spike TV. (--Owners whose vehicles are getting repossessed are offered the chance to keep their car if they can answer three out of five trivia questions correctly.)

--"Dancing with the Stars: Road to the Finals" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Hanson and the cast of the musical "Rock of Ages" perform.)

--"Dancing with the Stars" [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--"American Idol's"
Pia Toscano sings while her boyfriend Mark Ballas dances. The New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys will also perform.)

--"The Voice" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--You know how this works. The gimmick is the judges can't see anyone during their auditions and they make their decisions based solely on their voice. Carson Daly hosts.) (--Christina Aguilera, Cee-Lo Green, Adam Levine from Maroon 5, and country singer Blake Shelton are the judges/coaches. And sometimes they'll even perform.) (--Here's another look at the preview video where they sing "Crazy".)

 

NEW ON VIDEO TODAY

Movies on DVD:

--"Knockout" - Rasslin' superstar Stone Cold Steve Austin tries giving the "Karate Kid" treatment to boxing. He's a janitor who trains a bullied student to fight in the ring.

--"Blood Out" - A direct-to-video movie about a guy who goes undercover to solve his brother's murder after the local detectives refuse to help. 50 Cent plays one of the cops that's stonewalling him.

--"Sacrifice" - starring Cuba Gooding Jr. as a cop and Christian Slater as a priest. They team up against a drug dealer who hid his heroin in the Virgin Mary statue.

--"Sniper: Reloaded" - starring Billy Zane and a guy named Chad Michael Collins. In the first film, Billy Zane was an inexperienced shooter teamed up with Tom Berenger. In this one, he's now a sniper instructor training his mentor's son. (--This is the fourth film in the series. Tom Berenger was in all of the others.)

--"Revenge of the Bridesmaids" - Raven Symone and "Reba's"
Joanna Garcia play two bridesmaids who try to sabotage a wedding after they learn that the bride stole the groom from another friend. It first aired on ABC Family last year.

TV Series On DVD:

--"South Park: The Complete Fourteenth Season"
. . . a three-disc DVD set.

--"Growing Pains: The Complete Second Season"
. . . a three-disc set. It ran for seven seasons.

--"The Lucy Show: The Official Fourth Season"
. . . a four-disc set. "The Lucy Show" was her follow-up to "I Love Lucy". It ran for six seasons, from 1962 to 1968.

--"The Larry Sanders Show: Season 3"
. . . a three-disc set. It ran six seasons.

--"Stan Lee's Superhumans: The Complete Season One"
. . . a two-disc set.

TODAY'S NEW VIDEO GAMES

The "Man vs. Wild" Game Is Finally Hitting Stores . . . For Real This Time:

--"Man vs. Wild" (T) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii. Just like on Bear Grylls' show on the Discovery channel you are dropped from a plane and must survive in adverse conditions by starting fires, catching food and crafting tools in order to stay alive as you make your way through five authentic survival tactics. (Trailer)

(--This was originally scheduled to come out a few weeks ago, but the date got pushed back at the last second. According to the message on their Facebook page, it was due to an unforeseen "supply chain issue".)

--"Darkspore" (T) . . . on PC. This is a sci-fi action RPG where you play a genetically engineered "Living Weapon" and fight the evil hive mind "The Darkspore". There are five genetic classes that offer different powers . . . such as energy beams, fire and poisons . . . depending on which genetic type you choose.

Up to four players can play through the campaign cooperatively and you can even take your squad online for some PVP (Player vs Player) action. (Trailer)

ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)

 

NEW MUSIC OUT TODAY

This Week's CD Releases:

--"Fishin' For Woos", Bowling For Soup

--"Augustana", the roots / rock group Augustana

--"The Funk Capitol Of The World", Bootsy Collins (--His guests include: Parliament vets George Clinton and Bernie Warrell, plus Snoop Dogg, Chuck D, Ice Cube, Bela Fleck and, no joke, Samuel L. Jackson.)

--"Electric Love", the British electro group Dirty Vegas

 

Aretha Franklin Is Putting Out a New Album Next Week . . . the Status of Her Magnificent Hat Is Still Unknown:

Six months ago, it sounded like ARETHA FRANKLIN was dying. Now, she looks amazing . . . and she's putting out a new album next Tuesday, exclusively through Walmart. It's called "Aretha Franklin: A Woman Falling Out of Love". --It's unclear what Aretha is falling out of love with . . . but it could be pig-related foods. Earlier this year, she said that she'd dumped chitterlings (pig intestines), pigs' feet and ham hocks from her diet . . . in favor of a "Whole Foods" type of thing. --Hopefully, she's not falling out of love with the magnificent winter hat, but I'm concerned. She hasn't worn that hat . . . publicly at least . . . in AGES. (--Since the album art for "Aretha Franklin: A Woman Falling Out of Love" has NOT been released . . . I took the liberty of throwing something together for her. I'm thinking something along these lines. What do you think?)

 

Former Destiny's Child Member Farrah Franklin Has Been Arrested:

FARRAH FRANKLIN, who was a member of DESTINY'S CHILD for literally FIVE MONTHS back in 2000 . . . was arrested for disturbing the peace in L.A. over the weekend. It's unclear what she was doing. --Farrah was NOT pleased. She looks ticked off in her mugshot . . . and she's threatening to sue the cops for "racial profiling" and for "manhandling" her.

 

TUESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS

Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

TONI COLLETTE from Showtime's "The United States of Tara" gave birth to a baby boy on Friday. She and her husband also have a 3-year-old daughter. (Full Story)

Nobody knows for sure, but openly gay MSNBC commentator RACHEL MADDOW MAY have been talking about CNN's ANDERSON COOPER when she said this . . . quote, "I'm sure other people in the business have considered reasons why they're doing what they're doing, but I do think that if you're gay you have a responsibility to come out." (Full Story)

Not only is LEVI JOHNSTON not going away . . . now he's writing a tell-all book called "Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs". A source says, quote, "The book will have good stuff. He isn't leaving anything out." (Full Story)

Tragedy averted: For a while there yesterday, it sounded like RYAN PHILLIPPE was planning to retire from acting. He's not. (Full Story)

ROB MARIANO . . . who you know as "Boston Rob" from "Survivor" and "The Amazing Race" . . . is doing a new travel-related reality show on the History Channel. It's called "Around the World in 80 Ways", and it'll debut later this year. (Full Story)

KINGS OF LEON have announced their summer tour dates. They run from July 25th in Orange County, California, through September 12th in Seattle. (Full Itinerary)

MAROON 5 and TRAIN are co-headlining a tour this summer. It begins July 22nd. (Full Itinerary) (--Scroll down for the dates with Train.)

Two members of ARCADE FIRE performed "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" at a recent Chicago Cubs game. (Video)

 

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

Terrible News: Women Actually Do Find Eyeliner Attractive On Men:

I hate when studies question one of the few unquestionable truths we have left. See, I've ALWAYS believed that when guys wear eyeliner to look cool or mysterious, it turns off every woman within a 200-mile radius. --But according to a new study, I'm wrong. Even though a lot of women might never admit it, supposedly they find 'guyliner' ATTRACTIVE. --In the study, researchers at Princeton University had men and women rate the attractiveness of different faces. --And they found that women like a guy with a darker look, a five o'clock shadow, well-defined eyebrows . . . and yes, well-defined eyes. In some of the cases, the eyes were well-defined by eyeliner, and the women liked that look. --Men tended to like women with red lips and skin that was lighter than average. That went for all races . . . so guys liked paler white women, light-skinned black women, and on and on. --And both genders tended to prefer faces that didn't have too much chubbiness on the cheeks or the upper neck. (CBS News)

 

Botox Doesn't Just Make It Harder For Your Face To Show Emotions . . . It Actually Hurts Your Ability To Read Emotions On Other People's Faces:

When you get Botox injected into your face, the TOXINS numb your muscles, which can make it hard for you to show emotions. And apparently, it also makes it so you're not particularly interested in the emotions other people are showing, either. --A new study out of the University of Southern California found that when people get Botox, it actually hurts their ability to sense other people's emotions. --And it's NOT because people who get Botox are self-absorbed and don't care about other people's emotions.
It's because Botox dulls the signals between your brain and your muscles, which makes it harder for you to pick up emotional cues. (Forbes)

 

The Key to Office Productivity Isn't Higher Salaries . . . It's Free Food:

Here's a great tip if you run a business and want your employees to start working harder . . . without having to give out raises, God forbid. --According to a new survey by Staples, the key to productivity is . . . FREE FOOD. --73% of employees said they'd be happier at work if their office had a well-stocked kitchen. 57% believe that if there was more free food, everyone would be more productive. --The survey also estimated that American workers leave the office to get coffee more than 85 million times every year. That's total, not 85 million times per person. But it leads to 10.6 BILLION HOURS of lost productivity a year. (BusinessWire)

 

Panda Express Is Thinking About Expanding . . . To China:

A few years back, Taco Bell decided it was going to try to conquer a brand new market: MEXICO. And when they went there, they made it clear: Yeah, this sorta resembles Mexican cuisine, but it's really American food. --Now, another American fast food company is thinking about taking the same approach. Panda Express is strongly considering expanding . . . to China. --Jennifer Lee is a Chinese-American writer, and she says Panda's only option will be to market itself as American food. --Quote, "The Chinese food we eat in America is very alien to Chinese people. I actually went to the hometown of GENERAL TSO [and] showed them pictures of General Tso's chicken . . . they were like, 'Huh, we've never seen this.'" --American Chinese food and Chinese Chinese food started heading down different paths around the year 1900. That's when American Chinese restaurants introduced chop suey, and it took off better than authentic Chinese dishes. --So Chinese restaurants in America started making their own recipes and dishes using traditional Chinese flavors. --There's no word on when Panda Express might try to make their way into China. (NPR)

 

A Hazmat Team Is Called In After a Man Tries To Kill Himself With Mole Poison . . . and It Gives Him the Ability To Breathe Fire:

We're about to give you some information that could REALLY be misused in the wrong hands. So let's all handle this like adults and keep it quiet. --In Ann Arbor, Michigan, a man tried to kill himself by swallowing MOLE POISON. (--His name hasn't been released.) --Now, here's what we didn't know. The chemicals in some types of rodent poisons, including mole poison, can actually give humans the ability to BREATHE FIRE. Yes, really . . . breathe fire. --You can blow out phosphine gas. When that interacts with the oxygen in the air, it can become flammable. --So after the man was admitted to St. Joseph Mercy Hospital in Ann Arbor, and they figured out he'd ingested mole poison, a HAZMAT TEAM was called in to make sure the guy didn't start running around the hospital breathing fire. --The hazmat team isolated him to one room and contained the situation until the toxins had passed through the guy's body. He survived swallowing the poison. (AnnArbor.com)

 

Ford Is the Only American Car Company That's Not On the "Forbes" List of the Worst Cars:

"Forbes" just put out a list of the worst cars in the U.S. And the only American car company that avoided the list . . . the only brand that "Forbes" bailed out, if you will . . . is FORD. --There were 12 cars on the list: None of them were made by Ford . . . three were made by companies outside the States . . . and the rest are from American companies. --The rankings are based on reliability and performance studies from "Consumer Reports", as well as cost, fuel efficiency, and overall value. Here's the list of the worst vehicles in alphabetical order, by brand.

--Cadillac Escalade.

--Chevrolet Aveo, Colorado, and Tahoe Hybrid.

--Chrysler 2010 Town & Country.

--Dodge Nitro SLT and Dakota.

--Jeep Liberty and Wrangler Unlimited.

--Mercedes-Benz S550.

--Nissan Titan.

--Smart For Two

(Yahoo Autos)

(NC-17) Police in Berlin Respond To a Call About a Mysterious Noise . . . And It Turns Out to Be a Woman's Vibrating Love Toy Gone Rogue:

On Saturday in Berlin, Germany, the police got an emergency call: A woman said she could hear a strange buzzing or drilling sound coming from her 23-year-old neighbor's apartment, and she had no idea what it was. A drill? A BOMB? --The police headed to the apartment and could hear the noise from the street. When there was no answer at the door, they smashed it and broke in. --And that's when they found what was causing the noise. Turns out the woman had a VERY POWERFUL VIBRATING LOVE TOY that was switched on and pulsating on the floor. --The woman didn't come home while the cops were there. And according to the "Berliner Kurier" newspaper, the police said she's going to be on the hook for the door repairs. (The Local)

 

STUPID CRIMINALS

What Kind of Baby Shower Ends With Two People Getting Stabbed?

I can't even imagine how many wrong turns you have to make in life to end up throwing a baby shower like THIS. --On Saturday, in Lawrence, Massachusetts, there was a baby shower at a rental hall. And the police were called in after someone threw a bottle, which hit a woman in the head, and the shower turned into a BRAWL and a KNIFE FIGHT. --By the time the cops arrived, two people had been STABBED. One guy went after the cops and others attacked the paramedics on the scene. Three arrests were made . . . neither of the stabbing victims suffered life-threatening injuries. (Boston Herald)

 

A Man Successfully Robs a Bank . . . Then Gets Caught When He Goes Back To Get His Holdup Note:

33-year-old Matthew Dale Hudleston of Pensacola, Florida is actually a successful bank robber. He's just HORRIBLE at deciding what to do when the robbery's done. --Back in October, Matthew robbed a branch of Regions Bank in Foley, Alabama. --He slipped the teller a note saying, quote, "I have a gun. Do not alert anyone. No alarms, no dye packs, give me all the money in your drawer. You have 15 seconds, do not panic or alert anyone." --The teller gave him $9,945 and Matthew took off. --THEN . . . he realized he'd forgotten to get his holdup note back. And apparently he was worried they'd be able to use the note to track him down. --So he inadvertently saved them the trouble . . . by going back to the bank to try to get the note. --The police were still there, investigating the robbery . . . and chased him down and arrested him. --Matthew has pleaded guilty to bank robbery. (Mobile Press-Register)

 

A Man Who Broke Into a Middle School Was Caught When He Sprayed Police With a Fire Extinguisher . . . Then Ran Straight Into a Wall:

It's always good to see criminals get caught like they're cartoon characters. --That's what happened at Bunche Middle School in Atlanta, Georgia. Around 3:00 A.M. yesterday, two men broke into the school and ended up setting off the alarm. When the cops got there, the guys tried to run. --One of them came up with a plan to grab a fire extinguisher off the wall and spray it at the cops for a distraction. --He grabbed it . . . sprayed the cops . . . then turned around and ran STRAIGHT into a WALL. --He knocked himself out and the police arrested him. --They also tracked down his friend. --The men were planning to steal computers from the school. (ABC 2 - Atlanta)

 

RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Random Links to Additional Stories:

Good news! New York prisons are now allowing conjugal visits for gay inmates who are in same-sex marriages or civil unions. (Full Story)

Reason # 754 to protect your Wi-Fi connection with a password: Federal agents with assault weapons raided a guy's house in New York and arrested him . . . because someone had used his Internet to download child pornography. (Full Story)

WikiLeaks released information on the Guantanamo Bay 'terrorist' detainees: 220 were found to be dangerous extremists . . . 380 were low ranking foot soldiers . . . and 150 were innocent farmers, drivers and chefs. (Full Story)

There's an 84-pound 11-year-old girl in Virginia who earned black belts in four different martial arts last year. (Full Story)

Photo of the Day: The White House was struck by lightning on Easter Sunday. Coincidence??? (Full Story)

A woman in Florida found a seven-foot gator in her bathroom . . . and cops think he came in through her doggie door. (Full Story)

A guy wore the same t-shirt and shorts to every game during Kansas University's 2008 national championship basketball run, so he decided to frame his lucky outfit on the wall of his house. They've been hanging there ever since . . . until earlier this week when a naked robber broke in, put them on, and ripped them while trying to escape from police dogs. (Full Story)

 

NAZZY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) Here's a Baby Laughing at a Bubble-Eating Dog . . . Slowed Down by 50 Percent:

In case you missed it, there's a YouTube video called "Hysterical Bubbles" where a baby laughs uncontrollably at a dog eating soap bubbles. And now there are a couple new versions. One slows it down to half-speed . . . and the baby sounds downright evil. --The other is a remix that uses the best parts of the slowed-down evil baby. (--Search for "Bubble Baby Slow Motion." Check out the remix here.)

#2.) A Guy on "Britain's Got Talent" Did Modern Versions of "Old MacDonald", "Twinkle Twinkle" and "Humpty Dumpty" . . . and the Crowd Loved It: A 35-year-old drama teacher in Scotland went on "Britain's Got Talent" and did modern versions of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm", "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star", "Humpty Dumpty", and "If You're Happy and You Know It".
--But he sang them to the SNOW PATROL song "Run" and the crowd loved it. (--Search for "Edward Reid Britain's Got Talent Audition." He starts at 1:49.)

#3.) A Woman in a Wheelchair Used a Lawnmower to Pull Herself Down the Sidewalk:

Here's the MacGyver of handicapped people: Someone got video of a woman sitting on a street corner in her wheelchair, and holding onto the handle of a lawn mower. --Then when the 'walk' sign lights up, she yanks the cord to start the motor, and holds on while the lawnmower pulls her down the street. (--Search for "Woman Uses Motorized Wheelchair." She yanks the cord at :03 and starts moving at :10.)
(--WARNING: This video includes the word "hell".)

#4.) Did You Know That Movies Have Been Using the Same Scream Effect for the Last 60 Years?

There's an inside joke with film buffs about a sound effect called the "Wilhelm Scream". It was first used in the 1951 movie "Distant Drums", but it's been used and reused in hundreds of other movies for the last 60 years. --There's a new 12-minute montage on YouTube that shows it being used in everything from old westerns, "Gremlins", and "Toy Story", to "Star Wars", "Batman", and the last "Indiana Jones" sequel. (--Search for "Wilhelm Scream Cinexcellence.")
(--WARNING: This video includes the words "ass," "bitch," and "hell".)

#5.) Here's a Parody of Those Annoying Ads Where People Yell "It's My Money, and I Need It Now!"

You know that annoying ad for the financial company J.G. Wentworth, where people open their windows and yell, "It's my money, and I need it now"? --Well, someone made a parody and posted it on YouTube. It's called "The JG Wentworth Commercial I'd Like to See."
(--And that sexy special 'somebody' is our friend Gary Craig of Gary & Company, 96.5, TIC. Thanks for the video!)
(--WARNING: This video includes the F-word.)

 

Are "Natural" and "Organic" Meats Really Better for You?

Meat that's labeled "natural" and "organic" costs a lot more, but is it really better for you? Well, the short answer is yes. But here are a few myths and facts from "EatingWell" magazine about those confusing labels in the grocery store.

#1.) Meat That's Labeled "Natural" Has Fewer Hormones and Antibiotics: False. The term "natural" just means it doesn't have any additives or preservatives. And even then, the USDA lets companies add salt-based broth to pork and poultry.

\#2.) Grass-Fed Meat Is Healthier for You: True. Grass-fed beef comes from cows that are only fed their mother's milk when they're babies, then grass the rest of their lives. -And research has shown that grass-fed beef has more healthy omega-3 fats than the beef from cows that eat grain.

#3.) "Certified Humane" Is the Same as "Organic": False. If meat is labeled "Certified Humane", it means they didn't use antibiotics or growth hormones, and the animal wasn't kept in a cage. But it doesn't follow ALL the standards of "organic" meat.

#4.) Buying Organic Meat Is Good for the Environment: True. Organic meat doesn't have any antibiotics or hormones, which can leak into the ground and end up in our drinking water. --Plus, everything the animals eat is organic, which means it's not treated with pesticides.

#5.) Buying Organic Chicken Is a Good Way to Avoid Unnecessary Hormones: False. You don't have to worry about hormones in poultry or pork because it was banned in 1959. But the USDA still allows hormone use in cows. (EatingWell Magazine)