Monday, May 2, 2011



President Obama Announced That Osama Bin Laden is Dead, And We Killed Him:

Well, it took us almost TEN YEARS but finally . . . FINALLY . . . we got one of the worst enemies this country has ever seen. Last night, at 11:35 P.M. Eastern, PRESIDENT OBAMA confirmed that OSAMA BIN LADEN is dead. --He was killed in Pakistan by U.S. Special Forces, and we've got the body. And this is for real . . . basic forensic tests confirmed it's him, and further DNA tests will be done to prove it beyond any doubt. --Turns out bin Laden wasn't in a cave after all. He was in THE SUBURBS, hiding in a million-dollar mansion in a city called Abbottabad. It's a city of about a million people 60 miles northeast of Islamabad, the capital of Pakistan. --This wasn't an ordinary mansion, of course. It was EIGHT TIMES larger than any of the others on the block . . . surrounded by 12- to 18-foot walls topped with barbed wire . . . and part of a compound with insanely heavy security. --Three helicopters carrying a small team of Navy Seals choppered in from Afghanistan, dropped the Seals into the compound to capture bin Laden, and ended up in a firefight. --Bin Laden was shot in the head and killed during the fight, along with one of his sons, two couriers, and a woman they were using as a human shield. The whole thing took about 40 minutes, and there were no American casualties. --The Seals had practiced the raid before they went in . . . and clearly, they nailed it. --Over the years, bin Laden's had to keep going deeper and deeper into isolation, and gotten further out of touch. But the military's use of drone attacks in rural regions forced him to move into a more heavily populated area. And that's where he screwed up. --Because living isolated in an expensive compound in a city looks suspicious: Couriers would come and go with deliveries . . . there was no phone or Internet service . . . and the people living there would BURN THEIR TRASH as a precaution. --According to the President, a tip from the Pakistanis back in August finally gave us a credible piece of intelligence on where bin Laden was hiding. --Last week, after eight months, Obama believed there was enough information to go on, and ordered a mission to invade the compound yesterday. --As word leaked out last night that bin Laden was dead, a huge group of people started congregating in front of the White House and at ground Zero to wave flags and sing the National Anthem . . . and even better, "We Are the Champions". --If you're wondering . . . yes, you might be able to see photos of his body at some point. The first ones that showed up online were bad Photoshop jobs. And early reports said he was already buried at sea, to keep the location of his body from becoming a jihadist shrine. --But they planned to conduct an autopsy first, and they probably documented everything. (--But no, it won't be in a glass case at Ground Zero, like Lenin's tomb in Moscow.) --As for what impact this is going to have . . . well, that's tough to say. --Temporarily, there's going to be a boost in terror alerts out of the fear that Al Qaeda may try something to show this isn't the end of their war. --And intelligence suggests it's been virtually impossible for bin Laden to have the same level of influence over Al Qaeda in the past few years. But even if he's not as influential any more . . . killing him is an ENORMOUS moment. --We'll still have to go through extra airport security and stay vigilant. We'll still have troops overseas. But killing bin Laden finally DOES send a message that the U.S. is NEVER going to let terrorism go unpunished. --It's an "I remember where I was when I heard this" moment. Symbolically, it's the single biggest moment in our nine-year, seven-month, 20-day War on Terror. (--Huge win for President Obama. Last week, while TRUMP was ranting endlessly about Obama's birth certificate, the President was in the final stages of planning to kill bin Laden. How trivial does his birth certificate look now?)

Celebrities Tweeting About Osama bin Laden's Death:

(--All quotes are as they appeared . . . spelling and grammar included.)

Kim Kardashian: "Osama Bin Laden is dead!!! I can't wait to hear President Obama's announcement!!!"

Oprah Winfrey: "Does this mean the war is over?"

Lady Gaga: "Just landed. Watching CNN, what a historical moment in the fight against hatred."

Jimmy Fallon: "Got Bin Laden AND interrupted Celebrity Apprentice? Win for Obama all around."

Katy Perry: "AMERICA [EFF] YEAH, HERE TO SAVE THE MOTHER[EFFING] DAY YEAH! #necessaryusageoftheFbombday"

Demi Lovato: "USA! I love my country.. We made history today…. Wow….. #isupportthetroups"

Lindsay Lohan: "Go USA!"

Kourtney Kardashian: "Wow!! Ding dong the witch is dead! #osama"

Neil Patrick Harris: "Everyone is sitting around my living room, mouths agape. Wow, what a night. Thank you, Mr. President, for such an eloquent speech."
Khloe Kardashian: "I loved our Presidents speech. May God bless us all!"

Tyra Banks: "My brother has been a US soldier for over twenty years. Today I salute him and all of our brave, selfless miltary women and men."

LeBron James: "#WoW!! Obama words are earth moving and inspiring."

Lance Armstrong: "USA USA USA!!"

Nicky Hilton: "God bless our troops! We love you! Thank you for keeping us safe <3"

Ryan Seacrest: "USA!"

Diddy: "God Bless us all!!!"

Joel McHale: "I sure hope Bin Laden caught the early showing of Game of Thrones. #Binladen #whatan[a-hole]."

Billy Ray Cyrus: "Just saw the news! OSAMA BIN LADEN is dead !!! How crazy is that ! Only in my life could i be at FT Hood on the night this happened ..."

Rihanna: "#ManDown"

Denise Richards: "9/11/01 and all those who lost their lives fighting for our freedom finally rest in peace - #USA"

Drew Carey: "Crazy how the world just went from b&w to technicolor. Ding dong Osama's dead."

Ricky Martin: "Obama: 'the US is not at war with Islam . . . Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader.'"

Adam Levine: "I dont know how I feel about 'celebrating' death. But im just glad this happened during a good man's presidency."

Brad Paisley: "I really love these rare moments when we feel like one united country."

Snoop Dogg: "Bring the soldiers bac home asap! They r missed! We love how they fight for us now let's fight for them!!"

John Legend: "It's gonna be weird/hilarious talking to anybody who slept through all of this tonight."

Jim Carrey: "Wow! They killed the Boogieman! I felt something was in the air tonight! Bin Laden era over!"

Michelle Branch: "Kinda creeped out that Hitler was also announced dead on May 1st. Spooky."

Mark Hoppus: "Love, thoughts and prayers to those we lost that day and since, and to the men and women still in harm's way. The good guys won one tonight."

The White House Correspondents' Dinner Basically Became Another Donald Trump Roast:

The White House Correspondents' Dinner went down Saturday night. That's the annual event where D.C. journalists get a bunch of politicians and celebrities together, and everybody kind of makes fun of everybody else. --Well, this year's event basically turned into another DONALD TRUMP roast. But he wasn't too happy about this one. --SETH MEYERS from "Saturday Night Live" was the host . . . and he teed off on Donald. Here were some of his rips . . . --"Donald Trump has said he's running for president as a Republican. Which is surprising because I thought he was running as a joke." --"Donald Trump owns the Miss USA pageant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline their search for a vice president." --"I like that Trump is filthy rich but nobody told his accent. His whole life is models and gold leaf and marble columns but he still sounds like a know-it-all down at the O.T.B. --Seth also took shots at PRESIDENT OBAMA . . . like this one: "I'll tell you who could beat you [in 2012]: 2008 Barack Obama. You would have loved him." --He also dropped an unintentionally timely OSAMA BIN LADEN joke. While making fun of how nobody watches C-SPAN, he said, quote, "People think Bin Laden is hiding in the Hindu kush, but did you know that every day from 4 to 5, he hosts a show on C-SPAN?" (--You can see video of Seth's act here.) --President Obama had fun with the birther issue, too. His trip to the podium was preceded by HULK HOGAN'S old '80s theme song, "Real American". And he addressed the crowd as, quote, "My FELLOW Americans," emphasizing the word "fellow." --Then he released his "birth video" . . . which ended up being the birth scene from "The Lion King". He said, quote, "I wanna make clear to the Fox News table, that was a joke." --Then he said, quote, "Call Disney if you don't believe me. They have the original long-form version." --Later on, he said, quote, "No one is happier, no one is prouder, to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald. And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter. --"Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are BIGGIE and TUPAC?" (--You can watch Obama's speech here.)

Donald Trump's Response to Being the Butt of Most of the Jokes:

DONALD TRUMP was NOT cool with being roasted at the White House Correspondents' Dinner Saturday night. Asked if he enjoyed the jokes, he said, quote, "Not really. Some were fun, but not the greatest." --He added, quote, "Well, I really understood what I was getting into . . . I didn't know that I'd be virtually the sole focus. --"I had no idea it would be to that extent, where you know, it was just joke after joke after joke. It was almost like, is there anyone else they could talk about?" --He also said he thought PRESIDENT OBAMA did better than SETH MEYERS, because Seth is, quote, "a stutterer." (--Here's video of his response.)

Random Trump Stuff:

#1.) DONALD TRUMP dropped multiple F-bombs during a speech to Republicans in Las Vegas last week. (--Check it out here, here and here. WARNING!!! The F-bombs are UNEDITED.)

#2.) And now . . . Donald Trump is in a petty feud with DAVID LETTERMAN. (Full Story)

#3.) WILL FERRELL calls Donald Trump a, quote, "gold, platinum and silver mine" of comedy. Oh, and he also teases that there might be a sequel to "Step Brothers". (Full Story)


22.8 Million Americans Watched Prince William and Kate Middleton Get Married:

Before that little item about OSAMA BIN LADEN quietly snuck its way into the news, people were spending most of their energy talking about the Royal Wedding. --PRINCE WILLIAM and KATE MIDDLETON are now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and 22.8 million Americans watched it happen over 11 networks. --Only about 17 million people watched the wedding of William's parents, PRINCE CHARLES and PRINCESS DIANA, back in 1981. --In Britain, 27 million people watched William and Kate's wedding on TV . . . while 28.4 million watched Charles and Diana make The Big Royal Mistake. --It'll be pretty impossible to know how many people actually watched Friday's wedding, thanks to the Internet. --Untold millions watched it online. In fact, it's estimated that 400 MILLION people watched livestream coverage on YouTube alone. (--Here's a video of wedding highlights . . . including the vows. And here's video of William and Kate KISSING. And check out our Royal Wedding photo gallery here.) (--If you're a little more hardcore about this Royal Wedding stuff, E! Online has two highlight videos. One is 10 minutes and the other is 20 minutes. You'll find them here.)

Royal Wedding Randoms:

#1.) "People" magazine put together a gallery of the wedding's BEST HATS. Apparently in Britain, "best" actually means "worst", because these things are freakin' ridiculous. (Photos)

#2.) Social media was all over the Royal Wedding. (Full Story)

#3.) A horse and rider took a tumble during the procession from Westminster Abbey to Buckingham Palace. (Full Story)

#4.) After the wedding, for no known reason, a priest did two cartwheels down the aisle at Westminster Abbey. (Video)

#5.) KATY PERRY . . . who's American but married to a Brit . . . got William and Kate decals on her nails to celebrate their wedding. (Full Story)

#6.) When "Maxim" magazine releases its 2011 Hot List, Kate Middleton will be on it . . . at #26.

#7.) There's a Facebook group that's trying to hook PRINCE HARRY up with Kate Middleton's hot sister PIPPA. (Link)

Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon Welcomed Their Twins on Saturday . . . Which Was Also Their Third Anniversary:

MARIAH CAREY and NICK CANNON welcomed their twins on Saturday . . . which also happened to be their third wedding anniversary. There's no word on the kids' names yet. They had a boy and a girl. --Asked if the timing was intentional, Mariah's rep said, quote, "No, not even Mariah could plan that." --Hours after the birth, Nick Tweeted, quote, "My wife just gave me the most incredible anniversary gift ever in life! I won't ever be able to top this!" --Mariah gave birth at 12:07 P.M. via C-section at a hospital in Los Angeles. --Mariah's rep made it sound like this was some kind of zany, '50s sitcom birth. --She said, quote, "Nick was very nervous and Mariah was completely calm. Mariah thought it was another soft labor and Nick was driving her to the hospital and she was very calm and the music was blasting.\ --"When they walked into the hospital, [Nick] was going the wrong way and the nurse redirected them to go the maternity ward, and I said to her, 'that's right out of "I Love Lucy",' and she laughed."

Is Lindsay Lohan Ready to Take a Deal in Her Theft Case?

LINDSAY LOHAN might be ready to take a deal in her theft case. A so-called "source" says she's ready to plead no contest to the charge in order to put the case behind her. --Her change of heart may have something to do with the fact that the judge knocked the FELONY theft charge down to a misdemeanor a little over a week ago. --Lindsay was sentenced to four months in jail and 480 hours of community service for violating her DUI probation. It's not clear if a no contest plea in the theft case would result in any further punishment. --Lindsay has a pretrial hearing scheduled for next Wednesday. Obviously, it'll be called off if she strikes a deal before then. --Lindsay is currently free on bail while she appeals her four-month sentence. Even if she does end up serving it, she'll probably only spend three weeks behind bars, due to prison overcrowding. (--Lindsay was out Friday night at an Olive Garden in Burbank to celebrate a friend's birthday. A witness says it was pretty low-key and Lindsay only drank water.)

Charlie Sheen Has Written a Nasty Letter to Chuck Lorre:

CHARLIE SHEEN must not feel like he's WINNING . . . because he wrote a nasty letter to "Two and a Half Men" creator CHUCK LORRE the other day that'll pretty much guarantee he never gets back on the show. --Charlie lashed out at Chuck for hatching a plan to continue the show next season without him. --He said, quote, "Good luck Chuck. My fans may tune in for a minute but at the end of the day, no one cares about your feeble show without me. --"Shame on you. Not even a phone call to the man that put you on the map. The man that put 500 million dollars in your pocket. -"You were on your way out of Warner Brothers with a buy out and a cup of cold coffee in your shaky and clammy hands. And then I walked into your office. --"And you created a show BASED ON MY AWESOME LIFE. I busted my ass for 8 years to support your vision. Your dream. In turn, it is my nightmare. --"You sad silly fool. [A-hole wussy] loser. Put on the gloves you low rent, nut-less sociopath. I'll beat your chicken [crap] soul in a court room into a state of gratitude. A state of surrender. --And it goes on . . . "Wow, I'm sure your children are SO PROUD of you. You can teach 'em how to be a stupid [B-word]. A narcissist. A coward. A loser. A spineless rat. --"I'm out here with my fans every night. The message is crystal clear; NO CHARLIE SHEEN. NO SHOW . . . You've been warned. Reap the whirl-wind you cockroach, reap it." --He later Tweeted, quote, "#Adios2&aHalf without me it's like Zeppelin without Plant. The Doors without Jim. C Lorre just elected into the Troll Hall of Shame." (--Hmm . . . So I guess Charlie was kinda off about the 85% certainty he'd be back on "Two and a Half Men" . . . ? Just a little.)

Random Sheen-Anigans:

#1.) Chuck Lorre posted one of those "vanity cards" at the end of "The Big Bang Theory" last week about a monkey that was on heroin. Everybody obviously thinks he was taking a crack at Charlie Sheen. But Sheen responded by saying he's NEVER done heroin. (Full Story)

#2.) Charlie is going to unveil his very own brand of electronic cigarettes called NicoSheen. (Full Story)

#3.) During his show in San Francisco on Friday, Charlie challenged a heckler to throw down with him. He said, quote, "Get your (effing) ass down here or leave the building." Security ended up removing the guy. (Full Story)

#4.) Charlie donated proceeds from Saturday's show to Brian Stow . . . a San Francisco Giants fan who was placed in a medically-induced coma after being brutally beaten at Dodger Stadium last month by Dodger fans. (Full Story)

17-Year-Old Tallulah Belle Willis Was Caught with Booze:

TALLULAH BELLE WILLIS . . . the 17-year-old daughter of BRUCE WILLIS and DEMI MOORE . . . was caught with BOOZE Friday night in Hollywood. --Police saw Tallulah and two of her friends get out of a car at about 11:00 P.M. with what looked like two bottles of alcohol. And that's exactly what they turned out to be. --The girls were cited for underage possession. Demi ended up going to the police station to pick her daughter up.

"Fast Five" Made Over $83 Million to Earn the Year's Best Opening Weekend:

The latest installment in the "Fast and the Furious" series, "Fast Five", had a HUGE opening weekend, with a total of $83.6 million. That's the highest-grossing debut for the franchise and the best opening for any movie so far this year. --It was also Universal's best opening EVER. Until now, the best opening weekend for Universal was the $72.1 million made by the 1997 "Jurassic Park" sequel, "The Lost World". --"Fast Five" now holds the record for the largest April opening of all time. It stole that record from the LAST film in the franchise, 2009's "Fast and Furious", which opened with $71 million.

Jaden Smith Made At Least $3 Million for "Karate Kid":

How much money did you make last year? Chances are JADEN SMITH made a little more. --His up-front fee for "Karate Kid" was a cool MILLION. And so far, he's made another $2 million on his back-end deal. But that deal probably isn't done paying off. --So Jaden made $3 million and COUNTING. Enjoy that eight hours in your cubicle today.

The Guy Who Did Mike Tyson's Face Tattoo Is Suing the Makers of "The Hangover Part 2":

The guy who did MIKE TYSON'S face tattoo is suing the makers of "The Hangover Part 2" . . . because ED HELMS' character gets a similar tattoo in the movie. --Tattoo artist S. Victor Whitmill claims Tyson gave him ownership rights to the tattoo design, so the filmmakers can't use it without his permission. --Whitmill wants money, of course. And he's also trying to block the May 26th release of the film. (--Of course, if he gets enough money, he'll probably drop that demand.)

Casey Abrams Says He's *Not* Dating Haley Reinhart . . . and That He Didn't Expect to Win "Idol":

After CASEY ABRAMS was eliminated from "American Idol" last week, he shot down the speculation that he and HALEY REINHART were hooking up. --Rumors of a possible relationship began spreading a few weeks ago, when some people claimed to have noticed an onstage "vibe" between them. --Then, some people claimed Casey "locked eyes" with Haley while saying his goodbyes, and that they "shared a moment" when he saved her for last. --But Casey denied that there was anything to it, saying, quote, "What was going through my mind [Thursday night] was just, 'Make this good.' I was completely on random mode. I didn't plan on ending up on Haley . . . it just happened that way. --"Nothing was planned . . . I was saying goodbye to my very special musical friend." --And he later told E! Online, quote, "We were never dating." --Casey also said that he wasn't necessarily surprised by his elimination, although he was glad he didn't get dumped the week after the judges saved him --He explained, quote, "That's what I was really afraid of, and that's why I knew I had to work hard. I was like, 'This would be kind of embarrassing if I got cut the next week.' I didn't expect to make it to the top, I expected to maybe make it this far. --"This is like exactly what I expected, so I can't be mad at that . . . I felt really good even afterwards. Maybe I'll break down crying some other time. But right now, I feel really good about what happened."

Someone Is Paying Pia Toscano $100,000 to Sing at a Birthday Party?

PIA TOSCANO didn't deserve to be booted from "American Idol" when she was . . . but does she deserve to command $100,000 to sing a few songs at a birthday party? According to TMZ, someone sure thinks so. --This person, whoever he or she is, initially offered Pia $50,000 to perform "a small handful of songs" at a private birthday party in L.A. next weekend. She turned that down, but she changed her mind when they doubled the offer. --Pia's transportation is even included. Supposedly, a limo will pick her up, and take her to the party.

"The Voice" Has Added Three-and-a-Half More Celebrities to Its Cast:

NBC's new singing competition show "The Voice" loves to pimp its cast of celebrity coaches . . . Christina Aguilera, CEE LO GREEN, Adam Levine and country singer Blake Shelton. And now, they've brought FOUR MORE aboard. --Or, technically, three-and-a-half. --NBC has hired four "advisors" to work with the coaches. Reba McEntire will be partnering with Blake, Monica will be with Cee Lo, SIA will work with Christina, and Adam will team up with a music producer named ADAM BLACKSTONE. --It's unclear exactly how the "advisors" will aid the coaches.

Corbin Bleu and Nicole Scherzinger May Co-Host "X-Factor":

Former "High School Musical" star CORBIN BLEU and former PUSSYCAT DOLLS singer NICOLE SCHERZINGER are in talks to co-host "X Factor" . . . or at least that's the word according to "Entertainment Weekly". --"Sources" say it is NOT a done deal yet, but both Corbin and Nicole are, quote, "close to signing on."

Fox Postponed a Planned "Family Guy" Cross-Over Event This Weekend Because of the Deadly Storm That Hit the South Last Week:

Fox was planning to air a "cross-over" event in their animation block last night, which would've bridged the worlds of "Family Guy", "American Dad" and "The Cleveland Show". --But on Friday, they decided to postpone it. --That's because the shows were going to be connected through a HURRICANE . . . and Fox thought that would seem inappropriate or insensitive, quote, "in light of the recent storms that have affected the nation." --It was just bad timing, though. The episodes were written 18 months ago. --Fox aired repeats of all three shows last night, and has rescheduled the cross-over episodes for sometime next season. (--Let's hope they choose a date that's OUTSIDE HURRICANE SEASON.)

Monday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"NBA Playoffs: Bulls vs. Hawks" [Eastern Conference Semifinals] . . . 8:00 to 10:30 P.M. Eastern on TNT. (--The Chicago Bulls host the Atlanta Hawks.)

--"NBA Playoffs: Lakers vs. Mavericks" [Western Conference Semifinals] . . . 10:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. Eastern on TNT. (--The Los Angeles Lakers host the Dallas Mavericks.)

--"Dancing with the Stars" [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
(--The final six contestants Kendra Wilkinson, Kirstie Alley, Chelsea Kane, Ralph Macchio, Romeo and Hines Ward perform two dances.)

--"House" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Cuddy's mom may file a malpractice suit against the hospital, which puts her daughter's and House's licenses at risk.)

--"WWE Tough Enough" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on USA. (--Professional wrestler Rey Mysterio lends Stone Cold some help training the contestants.)

--"Love & Hip Hop" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on VH1.

--"Relapse" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E.

--"The Bad Girls Club" [Reunion - Part 1] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Oxygen. (--Perez Hilton hosts as Season 6 contestants are reunited.)

--"Hawaii Five-0" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Rick Springfield guest stars as a photographer murdered during a sports magazine's annual swimsuit edition.)

--"Castle" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Gene Simmons guest stars as himself when Beckett travels to L.A. to find her ex-partner's killer.)


Machete, Buffy, Freddy Krueger and a Guy from "The Walking Dead" Will All Be in the New "Black Ops" Zombies Expansion:

People who've played "Call of Duty: Black Ops" know it includes a zombie mode where four players fight an army of the undead. You play as John F. Kennedy, Fidel Castro, Richard Nixon and JFK's Secretary of Defense, Robert McNamara. --That's pretty cool in and of itself. But you're really going to love what they're putting into the latest downloadable map pack. --This time, the four people fighting the zombies are "Machete" star Danny Trejo, "Nightmare on Elm Street" legend Robert Englund (a.k.a. Freddy Krueger), "Buffy the Vampire Slayer's" Sarah Michelle Gellar, and one of the guys from AMC's zombie show "The Walking Dead". --The actor's name is Michael Rooker, but you'd know him as Merle, the racist redneck they handcuffed to the roof. He's pretty bad-ass on the show too. By the time they went back to rescue him, he'd cut off his own hand and cauterized the stump. --But wanna know the best part? The whole thing is inspired by "Night of the Living Dead" genius George A. Romero . . . and George Romero himself has been added to the list of enemies as sort of the zombie king. (--Watch the "Grindhouse"-type "Call of the Dead" trailer here. It all looks freakin' awesome, but I ain't gonna lie. My favorite part is when Danny Trejo repeats his line from "Machete". . . "You just messed with the wrong Mexican." I LOVE that!) --Microsoft still has that exclusive contract for early content, so the maps are only out on Xbox360 tomorrow. PS3, Wii and PC users have to wait until next month. --The rest of the new "Escalation" map pack includes four standard multiplayer maps. You can watch the developers discuss each one of those here.

The Thor Game Hits Stores Tomorrow . . . and the Movie Is Out This Friday:

--"Thor: God of Thunder" (T) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, Wii, and DS. This is timed to coincide with the release of the new "Thor" movie, which hits theaters on Friday. Loki, the Norse God of Mischief, tricks Thor into releasing an evil creature from its icy prison, so then Thor must go on a quest to undo the damage he's done. Chris Hemsworth plays Thor in the movie and they got him to do the voice for the game too. They also got the guy who plays Loki to voice his character in the game. (Trailer) (--Thor's weapon of choice is a mystical hammer called Mjolnir. Learn more about Thor by checking out his Marvel Comics bio. And maybe offer a year's subscription to the comic of their choice to whoever answers all your Thor trivia.)

--"MotorStorm: Apocalypse" (M) . . . on PS3. In this post apocalyptic racing game you drive 13 classes of vehicles including monster trucks, muscle cars, super bikes and choppers through a city that is crumbling around you the whole time. (Trailer)

--"Moon Diver" (E10+) . . . downloadable on Xbox360 and PS3. This anime inspired side scrolling action game you can be play with up to four players, locally or online, at once. You can take the fight up the walls or even on the ceiling and unleash devastating attacks know as "Moonsault Combinations". (Trailer)

--Nintendo 3DS releases: The 3DS has two new games out this week. The virtual pinball game "Pinball Hall of Fame: The Williams Collection" and a collection of word puzzle games in "Brainstorm Series: Word Up".

ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)
Eggs Were Thrown at Justin Bieber During a Show in Australia . . . But He Basically Ignored It:

JUSTIN BEIBER performed in Sydney, Australia on Friday night . . . and he did so despite being assaulted by EGGS. --"Fans" threw at least SIX eggs at Justin during his performance. None of them hit him, but they did come close. (--You can see video, here.) -The eggs seemed to come at once from different directions, so there were likely multiple people involved. Justin just continued performing . . . although there was a brief break to allow a stagehand to clean up the mess. --As far as we know, Justin didn't respond to the egg-throwing at the show, and he hasn't mentioned it on Twitter.

And Now . . . Abigail Breslin Is Singing:

15-year-old ABIGAIL BRESLIN . . . who's known for her roles in "Little Miss Sunshine", "Signs" and "Nim's Island" . . . has recorded a single. --It's called "Fight for Me" . . . and it'll be on the soundtrack to her movie, "Janie Jones". (--There's no release date for the movie or the soundtrack yet. The movie premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York on Friday night.) --Abigail says, quote, "I was asked to do the movie and they asked me if I would sing and I said yes. I have never done that before, so I was so nervous." (--You can listen to the song, here.)

A "Superstars of Thrash" Show Has Been Scheduled for New York:

"The Big Four" . . . or as we call them, "The Superstars of Thrash" . . . METALLICA, MEGADETH, SLAYER and ANTHRAX will perform at Yankee Stadium in New York on September 14th. Tickets will go on sale this Friday at --This is the second "Big Four" show in the U.S. to be announced. The first one went down last weekend in Indio, California. (--That's where Coachella takes place.)

Metallica Has "Over 700 Riffs" to Work with on Their Next Album:

METALLICA plans to begin recording their next album sometime this month, and it sounds like they'll have plenty to work with when they get into the studio. --Drummer LARS ULRICH tells "Metal Hammer" magazine, quote, "James [Hetfield] told me in Australia that he had over 700 [new] riffs. That was slightly overwhelming. --"He told me that he'd been playing guitar again in the last couple of weeks. And listen, when James tunes his guitar, he comes up with three to five usable guitar riffs. It's kind of frightening. James is not allowed to play guitar without being recorded. --"We're gonna sit down and wade through two and half years' worth of riffs and jams and hopefully a lot of the seeds for the next Metallica record will be in that. --"When you're just jamming instead of 'writing,' things have a tendency to be more organic and flow a little more." --But he won't give any more concrete details. He explains, quote, "Obviously, I can't talk about it. If I could talk about it, I would . . . you know me. It's . . . we'll see . . . it's something . . . we'll see how it plays out."


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

LORENZO LAMAS married his FIFTH wife Saturday in Mexico. He's 52. His new bride, Shawna Craig, is 24. (Full Story)

17-year-old BOOBOO STEWART . . . who plays Seth Clearwater in the "Twilight" movies . . . may be the next TAYLOR LAUTNER. The kid's got serious abs. (Full Story)

Atlanta Braves pitching coach ROGER MCDOWELL was fined and suspended for hurling gay slurs at heckling fans . . . then cussing out another man for complaining that his 9-year-old daughters witnessed his disgusting actions. (Full Story)

Atlanta Braves pitcher DEREK LOWE was arrested Thursday night for driving drunk. (Full Story)

"Gossip Girl" actor CHACE CRAWFORD cut a deal in his pot-possession case. If he stays clean for a year, meets weekly with a probation officer and performs 24 hours of community service, his record will be wiped clean. (Full Story)

"Almost Famous" director CAMERON CROWE is putting together a PEARL JAM documentary to celebrate the band's 20th anniversary. It's called "PJ20", and it'll hit theaters in September. (--You can find a 30-second trailer, here.)

DREAM THEATER has haired 48-year-old MIKE MANGINI to take over for longtime drummer MIKE PORTNOY. Portnoy, who was Dream Theater's founding drummer, left last year after spending 25 years with the band. (Full Story)


Almost Half of Married Men Don't Know Their Anniversary Date?

It's almost painful for me to see something that fulfills such an old, tired stereotype. --According to a new survey, just under HALF of men say they don't know their anniversary date. --Married guys under 25 are the worst about it . . . 62% can't remember their anniversary date. Men over 55 are the best, only 33% can't remember. Which is still one out of three. --Only 3% of women surveyed said they'd ever forgotten an anniversary, even just once. --The survey also found that about one out of four guys has forgotten to buy flowers for a special occasion, and had to grab them from a gas station. --One in five women say they've bought flowers for THEMSELVES because they knew their boyfriend or husband wasn't romantic enough to do it. (Daily Mail)

Last Year, 5% of Companies Provided Nap Rooms For Employees, And Now It's Up To 6%:

With air traffic controllers falling asleep at the job on what feels like a daily basis, the old subject of WORK NAPS is getting attention again. --So how have companies responded? Last year, about 5% of companies in the U.S. said they provide NAP ROOMS for employees. And this year, in the wake of all that air traffic controller press, that number has gone up . . . to 6%. --Studies have shown that people don't need LONG naps to stay alert for the whole day. Back in 1995, NASA found that taking just a 26-minute nap improved productivity by 34% and alertness by 54%. (CNN / BBC)

A New Study Finds the Most Effective Weight Loss Plan is . . . Bribery:

If you want to lose weight, don't waste your time with self-motivation and desire and personal pep talks. That stuff never works anyway. No, a new study found that if you really want to lose weight . . . just find a rich guy to GAMBLE on your diet. --The study is out of England and it found that THE most effective weight loss plan involved BRIBERY. Basically, if people had good enough financial incentive to lose weight, they'd take it off and keep it off. --In the study, more than HALF of the people earning money for weight loss dropped 5% of their body weight . . . that's eight pounds for someone who weighs 160. They got an average bribe of $360 to lose that weight. (UPI)

Left-Handed People Are Bigger Cowards Than the Rest of Us?

I'm not sure if it's politically incorrect to make fun of left-handed people . . . so let's get on that bandwagon while we still can. --According to a new study out of Queen Margaret University in Edinburgh, Scotland, left-handed people are BIGGER COWARDS than the rest of us right-handed, normal people. --In the study, people watched an eight-minute clip from "Silence of the Lambs" and were then asked to summarize it. Left-handed people were more SCARED of the movie, and even seemed to block out some of the most frightening parts. --The researchers believe this is because the right side of the brain plays a bigger role in fear. The right side of the brain is more dominant in left-handed people, which could mean they're more prone to fear. (The Telegraph)

Word of the Day: I'm Ghost:

I'm ghost (verb) /eyem goste/ - slang term meaning "I'm out of here." --Example: If this restaurant doesn't bring me my breadsticks in the next minute, I'm ghost. When Olive Garden says something's unlimited I expect it to be truly unlimited.

A Man Who Was Poisoned By His First Wife Is Now Getting Married To the Nurse Who Took Care of Him:

Back in April of 2005, 41-year-old Lee Knight was POISONED with antifreeze by his wife, who wanted to get life insurance money. --She almost killed him . . . he was hospitalized with liver failure, kidney failure, and lost his senses of sight and hearing. --But somehow, THAT actually worked out for the best for Lee. He got rid of his ex . . . and while he was hospitalized, he started getting along surprisingly well with his nurse. --Her name is Jackie Evans, and she spent four hours a day with him, three days a week, while he underwent dialysis and waited for a kidney transplant. --And now, on Saturday . . . they're getting married. --Lee has regained a lot of his hearing with a cochlear implant and believes he'll be able to regain some of his sight again with another surgery. --Lee's ex-wife is doing 30 years in prison. (Daily Mail)

A Pipe Burst in a Home in Massachusetts . . . And Somehow the House Itself Called 911:

This story might just set a new standard for the word "unbelievable." --There's a house in Marblehead, Massachusetts that was filling up with water from a leaking pipe, and it managed to call 911. THE HOUSE CALLED 911. Not the people inside the house. The house itself. --Here's the explanation: The retired guy who owns the house travels a lot and had been gone for months. An old pipe on the second floor sprung a leak, and sprayed enough water to eventually fill the basement with five FEET of water. --Then on Wednesday, the water from the leak short-circuited the phone system. And somehow . . . we sure as hell can't figure out how . . . the short-circuit placed a 911 call. --Either that . . . or because the house is only about 10 minutes from Salem, Massachusetts, this involved witchcraft. Because that explanation seems about as likely. --The 911 dispatchers got the call and didn't hear anything on the other end . . . the house can't talk, you know . . . so they sent officers to check things out. --They found that the house really DID have an emergency, and that it was filled with toxic mold. Firefighters came in to help clean up the place and the house is going to have to be gutted. (Salem News)

Two Jail Guards Got Into a Fight Over Food and Had To Be Separated By an Inmate:

At the Erie County Correctional Facility in Alden, New York, two men got into a fight over a bag of chips and had to be separated. Normally, that's not news.--But there's a twist: The men who were fighting over the chips were actually GUARDS . . . and the guy who separated them was an INMATE. --The two guards are Lawrence Mule, who has been working there for 26 years, and James Conlin, who has 29 years of experience. --Apparently, the inmate who broke up the fight got between them because he likes both of them and didn't want them to get fired. There's no word on what the inmate is locked up for. --The inmate actually needed medical attention after breaking up the fight but he's going to be alright. --Both Lawrence and James were suspended without pay, and the Erie County Sheriff's Department called the fight, quote, "totally unacceptable" and "embarrassing." (CBS 4 - Buffalo)


Two Robbers Try To Steal a Man's Wallet . . . But Can't Get It Out of His Super Tight Pants:

I've ALWAYS advocated men wearing super tight pants. You look like a rock star, they accentuate your BULGE . . . and now, we've got ANOTHER item to add to the pro-tight pants list. They FIGHT CRIME. --Last week, a 24-year-old man was walking home in Hoboken, New Jersey when two punks tried to rob him at gunpoint. --They were able to steal his cell phone, but couldn't get his wallet . . . because his pants were SO TIGHT that they couldn't get it out. The police are still looking for the robbers. (Jersey Journal)

A Man Drunkenly Steals a Lawnmower From a School . . . Rides It Home . . . And Mows His Parents' Grass:

Last week, 22-year-old Nikolaus Trombley of East Lyme, Connecticut got drunk and broke into a trailer behind a high school around 2:00 A.M. to try to sleep it off. But when he got inside the trailer, he saw something that gave him a better idea. --Nikolaus spotted the school's riding lawnmower and its keys. He started it up and drove off. But this was NOT a typical joyride . . . --Nikolaus lives with his parents . . . so he drove the lawnmower to their house . . . and CUT THEIR GRASS. Afterward, he abandoned the mower in a random intersection. --Surveillance footage caught Nikolaus stealing the mower. He's facing charges of third-degree larceny and burglary. (--And one count of being a fantastic son.) (ABC 8 - New Haven) (--Here's grainy video of him stealing the mower.)

A Credit Card Thief Is Busted After He Calls Up the Companies To Make Sure the Cards Are Still Active:

37-year-old Angel Roman of Allentown, Pennsylvania is a credit card thief, so he knows how it works . . . when you steal a card you'd better use it quickly before your victim realizes it's gone and cancels it. --Angel stole several credit cards from his neighbor, Jessica Hernandez, and quickly made $7,400 worth of purchases . . . jewelry, TVs, cameras, video game systems, and more. --Then, he was worried that Jessica had canceled the cards. --So Angel actually called up the credit card companies and asked if the cards were still active. --When the police were investigating the theft, they found out about those calls, and matched the number to Angel's cell phone. -Angel was arrested and charged with burglary, criminal trespassing, theft by deception, receiving stolen property, forgery, and access device fraud. (Allentown Morning Call)


Stupid News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Are female dogs smarter than males? Scientists did an experiment by rolling a ball behind a screen, then rolling out a much bigger ball. The females noticed the size difference, and the males didn't. But they aren't sure if the males really didn't know . . . or just didn't care about size. (Full Story)

19% of smartphone users don't use it to access Internet. And 32% don't have any apps on it. (Full Story)

A bike messenger in New York started a blog to out the people who give him crappy tips. (Full Story)

Forget about the raid on Osama bin Laden . . . a year-long undercover Federal sting operation has busted an Amish ring selling unpasteurized milk. (Full Story)

Photo of the Day: A guy in China climbed out a window without his clothes when cops raided the brothel he was visiting . . . ran across a rooftop . . . climbed down a telephone pole . . . and was photographed. (Full Story)


#1.) A Fake Trailer for "The King's Speech" . . . About Obama Losing His Teleprompter:

The White House Correspondents' dinner on Saturday night featured a parody of "The King's Speech" about PRESIDENT OBAMA losing his teleprompter and turning to JOE BIDEN to help him speak off-the-cuff. You can check it out on YouTube. (--Search for "The President's Speech Trailer.")

#2.) Someone Put Special Shoes on Their Dog . . . And When It Tried to Run, It Looked Ridiculous:

You know those special shoes you can buy to protect your dog's feet in the snow? Well, most dogs absolutely hate them. --And someone uploaded a video to YouTube that shows their dog Ellie trying to run down a hallway in them, and it looks absolutely ridiculous. It's like the dog is trying to run and kick the shoes off at the same time. (--Search for "Ellie's Dancing Shoes.")
Do These Five Natural Remedies Really Work?

According to a 2009 study, 61% of people use the Internet for medical advice when something's wrong. But obviously, some of the advice they get is BAD --So ran an article about popular natural remedies that DO work, and some that don't. A lot of them are only relevant for women, but here are the top five.

#1.) Steam Can Stop Sinus Headaches: True. Inhaling steam flushes out your sinuses and relieves the pressure. And if you add mint or eucalyptus oil to the water, it works even better.

#2.) Holding a Damp Bag of Black Tea on a Cold Sore Will Make It Go Away: False. If you try this method, expect your cold sore to go away in two or three weeks . . . which is also what'll happen if you do NOTHING. --Over-the-counter treatments like Abreva and Valtrex can get rid of cold sores in a few days.

#3.) Eating Yogurt to Cure a Yeast Infection: False. Yeast infections are caused by a fungus called candida (--pronounced CAN-duh-duh). --And some websites claim that since yogurt promotes the growth of healthy bacteria in your stomach, it can do the same below the belt. --But no studies have proven that eating yogurt helps cure yeast infections. And applying it DIRECTLY to the troubled area is even worse. This is crazy, but some sites suggest dipping a tampon in yogurt, freezing it, and . . . well, you get the idea. --But doing that could actually make a yeast infection worse because the sugar in the yogurt can help the fungus grow. So stick with over-the-counter medication instead.

#4.) Black Cohosh Can Help With Symptoms of Menopause: True. If you've never heard of it before, black cohosh is a type of plant native to North America that's been used by Native Americans for centuries. --And studies have shown that it can reduce hot flashes and other symptoms of menopause. --If you want to try it, talk to your doctor to figure out the right dosage. And make sure you get BLACK cohosh, not BLUE cohosh, which could potentially be harmful.

#5.) Calcium Can Lessen the Severity of PMS Cramps: True. Research has shown that taking 600 milligrams of calcium twice a day can reduce PMS symptoms. --And a recent study at the University of Massachusetts found that women who had four servings of skim or low-fat milk per day were 46% less likely to have PMS symptoms AT ALL. (


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