Friday, March 11, 2011



Police Raided Charlie Sheen's House Last Night Looking for Weapons:

Police raided CHARLIE SHEEN'S "Sober Valley Lodge" late last night . . . and they were supposedly looking for WEAPONS. --As per the restraining order obtained by BROOKE MUELLER, Charlie is not allowed to have firearms. Police were there to investigate a possible violation. --An LAPD spokeswoman says, quote, "His Temporary Restraining Order states that: Restrained person cannot own, possess, have, buy, or try to buy, receive or try to receive, or in any other way get guns, other firearms or ammunition. --"It came to the attention of the detectives that Mr. Sheen may have weapons in the home, and they are visiting him to make sure that he is abiding by the terms of his TRO." --TMZ claimed that police got a call earlier in the day from someone claiming Charlie had threatened to harm himself with a gun. But the police spokeswoman didn't comment on that. -It doesn't sound like there was a pressing emergency . . . and TMZ says that when police arrived, Charlie and other people in the house were at the dining room table eating hamburgers. --It's not clear whether police found anything.

Charlie Sheen Has Sued His Former Bosses for $100 Million:

CHARLIE SHEEN made good yesterday on his threat to sue his former bosses. He filed a lawsuit worth more than $100 million against Warner Brothers and "Two and a Half Men" producer CHUCK LORRE. --Charlie claims he's not just in it for himself, but he's also suing on behalf of the "Two and a Half Men" cast and crew, who lost a significant amount of cash when the remainder of the season was canceled. (--Warner Brothers is reportedly paying them for four of the eight episodes that were canned.) --The lawsuit says Charlie's firing had NOTHING to do with his behavior off-set. Instead, Lorre was RETALIATING against him for speaking out after Lorre refused to write scripts to complete the season. --The suit states, quote, "Warner Brothers capitulated to Lorre's egotistical desire to punish Mr. Sheen and to stop work on the Series for the rest of the season, and used its powerful public relations machine to create a myth to justify their conduct by wrongly blaming Mr. Sheen." --The lawsuit notes that nobody talked about firing Charlie when he went to rehab . . . when he trashed that hotel room last year . . . or when he faced a possible felony conviction for assaulting wife BROOKE MUELLER in December of 2009. --In fact, Charlie says he was told a guilty plea in that case would NOT affect his employment. --Charlie also says he put up with years of Lorre, quote, "humiliating, harassing and disparaging" him. And he notes that Lorre has had problems with several other stars, including ROSEANNE, CYBILL SHEPHERD and BRETT BUTLER. (--If you have a fetish for long, boring legal documents, you can read the entire lawsuit here.) --After filing the suit, Charlie Tweeted, quote, "Fastball, torpedo away . . . You corporate trolls were warned. And now you've been served!" --Meanwhile . . . Charlie's attorney, Marty Singer, was asked if anyone from the show's cast or crew asked him to sue on their behalf. He basically evaded the question. --He said, quote, "I'm not going to comment on what people said privately. But if the cast and crew did something on their own they would be blackballed. Once you file a lawsuit, you don't get paid and you don't get hired. --"Charlie is looking out for the people he's working with. Warner Brothers can try to cast this however they want but the complaint speaks for itself."

Chuck Lorre Responds to Charlie Sheen's Lawsuit:

CHUCK LORRE'S attorney issued the following statement in response to CHARLIE SHEEN'S lawsuit . . . -"The allegations in the complaint against Mr. Lorre are as recklessly false and unwarranted as Mr. Sheen's rantings in the media. The accusations are simply imaginary. --"This lawsuit is about a fantasy 'lottery' pay-day for Charlie Sheen. Chuck Lorre's concern has been and continues to be about Mr. Sheen's health."

Rob Lowe Can't Join "Two and a Half Men" Because He's Committed to "Parks and Recreation":

JOHN STAMOS, this is your lucky day: ROB LOWE can't join "Two and a Half Men" next season, because he's committed to NBC's "Parks and Recreation". --Michael Shur, one of the producers on "Parks and Rec", says Lowe has a multi-year contract, and there is, quote, "no truth" to the rumor that he's taking CHARLIE SHEEN'S old gig. (--Something tells me John Stamos gets a lot of gigs because Rob Lowe is "contractually obligated" elsewhere. I'm just sayin'.)
Jon Cryer Responds to Charlie Sheen Calling Him a Troll:

JON CRYER went on "Conan" last night to respond to CHARLIE SHEEN calling him a TROLL. And he KILLED IT. --He came out onstage and said, quote, "The fact is, I am a troll. It's not something I like to talk about. My parents don't even know that I'm a troll. Of course I guess they do now." --He added, quote, "The truth is that there's not a lot of tolerance for people like me, especially in Hollywood. --"To avoid ignorance and bullying, I've had to hide the fact that I'm a troll. You have no idea how much time and money I've spent on electrolysis and hair dye and reconstructive surgery." Then he showed a picture of himself as a Troll doll. --He went on to talk about Troll persecution and people's misconceptions about Trolls . . . not to mention other Hollywood stars who were born Trolls, including Paul Giamatti, Helen Mirren and Andy Richter. (--Watch the bit here.)

Charlie Sheen Really Is Doing a Live Show:

CHARLIE SHEEN really IS doing a live show. He's calling it "Violent Torpedo of Truth / Defeat is Not An Option Show". --So far, there are only two dates scheduled . . . April 2nd in Detroit and April 3rd in Chicago. Tickets go on sale TOMORROW via Ticketmaster. (--Here's where you can buy them.) --Here's what Charlie had to say about the shows . . . quote, "I'm going on the road. LIVE. Will there be surprises? Will there be guests? Will there be mayhem? --"Will you ask questions? Will you laugh? Will you scream? Will you know the truth? WILL THERE BE MORE?!?! --"This IS where you will hear the REAL story from the Warlock. Bring it. I dare you to keep up with me."

Is Charlie Sheen Faking His Insanity?

Is it possible that CHARLIE SHEEN has been faking us out with all his crazy talk? In an interview with the Australian news network Nova, he claimed that's exactly what he's been doing. --He compared what he's been doing to PERFORMANCE ART, saying, quote, "It wasn't like I was really believing that if you, it's a drug called Charlie Sheen, if you take it your face will melt off and [your children will] weep over your exploded body." --But he also added that he just likes coming up with unique ways of saying things . . . quote, "It's not about shock value . . . it's just about not having any interest in speaking like everybody else. It's just boring." --He also talked about ROB LOWE . . . even though it was pretty much confirmed yesterday that Rob will NOT be his replacement on "Two and a Half Men". --He said, quote, "Rob's an old friend and he's a dear man and he's kind of a handsome bastard and he's talented as all heck." --But Charlie thinks that whoever replaces him might be in for a rude awakening . . . quote, "I'm just dying for that first phone call from Dude, from whoever he is, whoever my replacement is, going 'Oh my God you weren't lying, man! This is toxic. I must run immediately.'" (--You can listen to clips from the interview here and here.)

Random Sheen-Anigans:

#1.) CHARLIE SHEEN'S "Funny Or Die" video went online yesterday. Frankly, it's not all that funny . . . especially if you're getting tired of Charlie's stupid catchphrases. (Video)

#2.) The porno industry is getting a little shot in the arm from Charlie . . . especially the mattress actresses who've been involved with him. (Full Story)

#3.) The consul general from El Salvador wants an apology from Charlie for saying he'd rather "move to El Salvador and sell shoes" than get into a custody fight with Brooke Mueller. (Full Story)

#4.) KELLY PRESTON . . . who was engaged to Charlie Sheen until he ACCIDENTALLY SHOT HER in 1990 . . . says he's, quote, "such a good person underneath it all." (Full Story)
Lindsay Lohan Has Two Weeks to Decide If She's Going to Jail or Court:

LINDSAY LOHAN was given two weeks to decide whether to make a deal in her felony theft case or fight the charge in court. --The judge yesterday set a hearing for March 25th, but he told Lindsay she only has to show up if she decides to plead guilty or no contest. If she refuses to take a deal, she can no-show, and her preliminary hearing will take place on April 22nd. --If Lindsay takes any kind of deal in this case, she gets locked up. The judge says he'll put her away for a minimum of 60 days . . . but probably no longer than 90. --But if she goes to trial and loses, she could get up to THREE YEARS. --Between now and March 25th, Lindsay's attorney will be working to secure a deal that includes NO jail time. But she's been unsuccessful in that regard so far. --Lindsay arrived in court 35 minutes late . . . and was accompanied by her mom and her sister ALI. She didn't wear anything too scandalous . . . just a mini-dress that was kind of snug and black leggings. (--Here are some pics. And here's courtroom video.)

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel Have Supposedly Broken Up:

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and JESSICA BIEL have reportedly broken up. The details, however, depend on who you ask. --E! Online says it was Justin's call, and Jessica is DEVASTATED. --But sources tell "People" magazine, quote, "It was completely mutual and they both decided it was time to move on."

Monica Lewinsky Is Still In Love with Bill Clinton:

Here's a '90s flashback for you: The "National Enquirer" says that MONICA LEWINSKY is still hopelessly in love with BILL CLINTON. In fact, it's why she hasn't gotten married or had kids yet. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "[She] would take him back in a second. Monica still carries a torch for him. --"She's dated some guys, off and on, since the whole White House mess. But she's never been able to get Bill out of her heart."

Miley Cyrus Went After Another Paparazzi Scumbag:

One day after MILEY CYRUS lit into a photographer for bumping into her mom, she lunged at ANOTHER photographer . . . this time because he got a little too close to her as she was leaving a gym in West Hollywood. (--We haven't seen video of this dust-up yet, but here are some pictures.)

Annette Funicello Was Hospitalized After Her House Caught Fire:

Actress ANNETTE FUNICELLO was rushed to the hospital for smoke inhalation yesterday, after her home in Encino caught fire. Her husband and another person were also hospitalized. All are said to be in good condition. --Annette was one of the original Mouseketeers on the "Mickey Mouse Club" in the 1950s. In the '60s, she starred in a series of beach movies with FRANKIE AVALON. --In the late '70s and early '80s, she did commercials for Skippy peanut butter. --Annette is 68 years old, and has been battling multiple sclerosis for almost 25 years. (--You can see pictures of the damage here.)

Quentin Tarantino is Suing Alan Ball . . . Over Exotic Birds:

Two Academy Award-winning screenwriters may be headed to court . . . over EXOTIC BIRDS. --QUENTIN TARANTINO is suing his neighbor, ALAN BALL, because the constant racket from Alan's birds makes it difficult to write in his own home. --He even describes the noise as, quote, "obnoxious pterodactyl-like screams." --Quentin says he tried to resolve the matter privately with Alan, but he didn't get anywhere. --Alan Ball won the Best Screenplay Oscar in 2000, for "American Beauty". He's also the creator of "True Blood" and "Six Feet Under". (--Not that it has anything to do with this particular story, but in the '90s, Alan also wrote for two shows created by Charlie Sheen's nemesis, Chuck Lorre: "Grace Under Fire" and "Cybill".) --Tarantino won Best Screenplay in 1995, for "Pulp Fiction".
Gallagher Collapsed Onstage Last Night:

64-year-old comedian GALLAGHER collapsed during a performance in Rochester, Minnesota, last night. He was "rushed" to the hospital by ambulance. --TMZ says that Gallagher was in the middle of his famous "sledge-o-matic" routine, in which he smashes fruits and vegetables with a giant sledgehammer, when he suddenly fell backwards. --Sources say "his eyes were closed, he was shaking" . . . and that it could have been a heart attack or a stroke. --There's nothing official on his condition, but he was responsive when the EMTs arrived. Coincidentally, Rochester is the home of Mayo Clinic, and is nicknamed "Med City." So, he should be getting state of the art medical attention. (--You can find some old footage of Gallagher's SLEDGE-O-MATIC, here. WARNING: There's some UNCENSORED profanity in this clip.)

Little Red Riding Hood Gets the Twilight Treatment . . . and Aliens Attack L.A.:

#1.) "Red Riding Hood" (PG-13)

Amanda Seyfried plays a not-so-little Red Riding Hood in a werewolf version of the classic fairytale. It's directed by Catherine Hardwicke, who did the first "Twilight". --Gary Oldman is a werewolf hunter who stirs up suspicion by telling the village that a wolf is living among them. And when he figures out that the wolf has some kind of connection to Amanda, he decides to sacrifice her as bait. (Trailer)

#2.) "Battle: Los Angeles" (PG-13)

Aaron Eckhart leads a group of Marines in a battle to retake Los Angeles after the rest of the world has fallen to alien invaders. Ne-Yo and Michelle Rodriguez are also in it. (Trailer) (--You might want to pay attention to the platoon leader. His name is Ramon Rodriguez and he's the lucky bastard they cast to play Bosley in the upcoming "Charlie's Angels" TV series. He was also Leo in the last "Transformers" movie.)

#3.) "Mars Needs Moms" (PG)

An animated Disney flick starring Seth Green as a nine-year-old who stows away on a spaceship to rescue his mom after she's kidnapped by Martians. Joan Cusack is his mom, and chubby comedian Dan Fogler is an earthman who helps him on Mars. (Trailer) (--Seth did all the motion-capture work for the character, but they used an actual kid for the voice, because Seth sounded too much like an adult.)

A Movie Starring Mickey Rourke, Bill Murray and Megan Fox Is Going Straight to DVD:

You would think a movie starring MICKEY ROURKE, BILL MURRAY and MEGAN FOX would be a pretty good bet as a theatrical release. But the studio behind "Passion Play" didn't think so. It's going straight to DVD on May 31st. --The movie stars Megan as an angel . . . or maybe just a woman who happens to have wings . . . who works in a circus. --Bill Murray is her gangster boyfriend, and Mickey Rourke plays a burned-out trumpet player who woos her away from him. (--Check out a clip here.)

"American Idol" Loses Ashthon Jones to Elimination . . .:

ASHTHON JONES was eliminated from "American Idol" last night, after her forgettable performance of Diana Ross' "When You Tell Me That You Love Me". -Ashthon was one of the judges' three "wild cards" that were added to the Top 10 that America picked last week. So in a way, America just voted out Ashthon for the second straight time. Ashthon: America wants nothing to do with you. --The others in the bottom three were HALEY REINHART and KAREN RODRIGUEZ. (--If you have no idea who these people are yet . . . put faces to names, here.) (--And you can put a FACE to TERRIBLE by watching the "Idol" contestants' MICHAEL JACKSON medley from last night, here.)

And "Idol" Loses Casey Abrams to the Hospital, Again:

CASEY ABRAMS . . . the bearded guy who could win "American Idol" if he can stay healthy . . . was hospitalized again yesterday, and missed last night's show. Like the first time, all we're hearing is that he has "severe stomach pains." --On the show, RYAN SEACREST said, quote, "You'll notice that Casey is missing from the group. He is unfortunately sick and in the hospital right now. We know you're watching buddy, feel better . . . get back here soon, okay?"

Snoop from "The Wire" Has Been Busted in a Drug Raid:

Felicia Pearson, who played Snoop on the awesome HBO show "The Wire", was one of over 60 people busted in a drug raid in Baltimore yesterday morning. She was allegedly part of a large-scale marijuana and heroin operation. --The authorities didn't say what charges she's facing. (--Here's a picture of Felicia being taken into custody by Baltimore DEA agents.) --You could call this "life imitating art" because Felicia's "Wire" character was a drug dealer and an assassin . . . but actually, it was sort of "art imitating life" first. --According to the "L.A. Times", Felicia "dealt drugs as a teen . . . and eventually wound up in prison for killing a woman in self-defense." She went in for second-degree murder, and did five years behind bars. She was 14 at the time.

Steve Carell's Final "Office" Episode Has an Airdate:

STEVE CARELL'S final episode of "The Office" . . . as a regular, at least . . . is scheduled to air on April 28th. --As expected, WILL FERRELL will also be on that episode. He'll appear in four episodes: April 14th, April 21st, Steve's final episode on the 28th, and the first one WITHOUT him, on May 5th. The season finale will air on May 19th.

Friday TV Reminders:

--"The Defenders" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

--"Primetime: What Would You Do?" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--The scenarios include confronting an obnoxious gym member and teen girls bullying another girl online.)

--"Phineas and Ferb" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Disney Channel. (--"30 Rock's" Tina Fey, "Glee's" Jane Lynch and "Mama's Family" star Vicki Lawrence guest.)

--"20/20" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Bret Michaels and "Celebrity Apprentice's" Richard Hatch are interviewed.)

--"Comedy Central Presents: Louis Katz" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--Comedian Louis Katz performs.)

--"Comedy Central Presents: Jay Larson" . . . 11:30 P.M. to Midnight on Comedy Central. (--Comedian Jay Larson performs.)

Saturday TV Reminders:

--"Rascal Flatts: Nothing Like This" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Rascal Flatts performs from the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota with guest appearances by Natasha Bedingfield and Justin Bieber.)

--"Battle of Los Angeles" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Syfy. (--A low-budget version of the "Battle: Los Angeles" flick that hits theaters today. It stars Nia Peeples and Kel Mitchell as two soldiers fighting an alien threat to humanity.)

--"Ron White's Celebrity Salute to the Troops" . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on CMT. (--Ron White hosts performances by Lewis Black, Vic Henley, Kathleen Madigan, Rascal Flatts, Margo Rey and Tim Wilson.)

--"Norm MacDonald: Me Doing Stand-Up" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Comedy Central. (--Comedian Norm MacDonald performs.)

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Zach Galifianakis guest hosts and Jessie J is the musical guest.)

Sunday TV Reminders:

--"The Simpsons" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on Fox. (--Cheech and Chong guest star as they launch a comedy reunion tour and perform in Springfield.)

--"Brick City" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Sundance.

--"Sister Wives" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.

--"The Cleveland Show" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--"The Office's" Craig Robinson lends his voice talents as Cleveland's dad.)


Bieber Fever Has Created A "Possible Riot Situation" in Liverpool:

If Bieber Fever hasn't drawn a strong enough parallel to Beatlemania before, it definitely did yesterday . . . when hundreds of rabid JUSTIN BIEBER fans kept him barricaded inside his hotel in Liverpool, England . . . the home of THE BEATLES.--Not only that, but it happened at the Hard Days Night Hotel, which obviously was inspired by the band. --Here's an idea of just how insane it was: --At least 500 fans gathered outside, chanting Justin's name, forcing police to close the surrounding streets. Police also told Justin to remain in the hotel and stay away from the balconies. --According to Justin's rep, the cops said that if he didn't stay inside, he and his people could be arrested for INCITING A RIOT. --On Twitter, Justin said, quote, "There are like thousands of people out there. Love everybody, but gonna try and get some sleep. Please don't scream. LOL." --He later added, quote, "THIS IS CRAZY! I'm trying to work it out so I can say 'Whatup' to my fans. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!" --Justin was eventually permitted to wave to the fans from his balcony. He Tweeted, quote, "That was great! Got to say hi to everyone. We are following the rules. LOL." --The police seemed to be under the assumption that if they allowed Justin to wave, everyone would go home. Of course, that didn't happen . . . it just kicked the hysteria up a notch. At least 25 officers were on the scene trying to control the crowd. --A police spokeswoman said they "recommended" that Justin stay in his room until things calmed down . . . but denied that they threatened Justin's camp with arrest . . . adding, quote, "I wouldn't say it's a riot situation, yet .
--"Officers are working with the management of the hotel and with Justin Bieber's security team to ensure his safety, the safety of other guests and of the crowd." --Justin is in Liverpool for a concert. He's performing there tonight. (--Here's video of this INSANITY . . . here's a video of the crowd chanting "We want Justin!" . . . and here are a few pictures, including the one of Justin waving to the fans from the balcony.) (--There have been countless Justin Bieber fan mobs, but arguably the most infamous one happened at a New York City mall in 2009. You can revisit the frightening video from that chaos, here.)

A Video for Michael Jackson's "Hollywood Tonight" Has Been Released:

A video for MICHAEL JACKSON'S "Hollywood Tonight" has been released. (--The song was on that "Michael" album that came out in December.) --It features a female dancer acting out Michael's lyrics about "going Hollywood." (--Maybe it's just me, but it does seem to have an '80s feel . . . as if it could've been one of Michael's earlier, dance-heavy videos.) (--And in a weird way, this dancer chick sorta has a resemblance to Michael, beyond the fact that she's doing some of his signature dance moves.) (--You can watch the video, here.) --Meanwhile, a website has been set up where YOU can submit footage of yourself for Michael's upcoming "Behind the Mask" video. You can be singing along to the song, trying your hand at some of Michael's moves, or just being in the background. --It's being billed as, quote, "the most epic, international, and crowd-sourced Michael Jackson video of all time." --For more information, hit up the site

The Five Wealthiest Hip-Hop Artists: has released a list of The Five Wealthiest Hip-Hop Artists . . . and DIDDY came out on top, with a fortune of $475 MILLION. --Obviously, Diddy didn't rake in $475 million in album sales. That total includes all income, which for Diddy includes his Sean Jean clothing line, his Bad Boy record label and his Ciroc vodka brand.

--Here's the list:

1.) Diddy, $475 million

2.) Jay-Z, $450 million

3.) Dr. Dre, $125 million

4.) Birdman, $100 million . . . in addition to being a rapper, he's the founder of Cash Money records, which represents Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj and Drake.

5.) 50 Cent, $100 million says RUSSELL SIMMONS would've made this list . . . but they wanted to keep it exclusive to performers. They also kept the list short, because of the lack of information available on those who made less than $100 million.

Eminem's Album "The Eminem Show" Has Sold Over 10 Million Copies:

The Recording Industry Association of America has certified EMINEM'S 2002 album "The Eminem Show" Diamond . . . or 10-times Platinum . . . which means that it's sold 10 MILLION copies. (--This is the album that has "Sing for the Moment" with STEVEN TYLER and JOE PERRY of AEROSMITH . . . "Business" with DR. DRE . . . "Superman" with DINA RAE . . . "Without Me" and "Cleanin' Out My Closet".) --Eminem's "The Marshall Mathers LP", which came out in 2000, has also sold over 10 million copies, but it has yet to officially get the Diamond distinction. (--This is only the THIRD rap album to be certified Diamond. The other two are: The NOTORIOUS B.I.G.'s "Life After Death" and MC HAMMER'S "Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em".)


SEAN PENN and SCARLETT JOHANSSON had dinner together Wednesday night at Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles. A witness says they, quote, "occasionally held hands on the table for brief moments." (Full Story)

Craig Owens, the guy ASHLEE SIMPSON is supposedly dating, is actually signed to PETE WENTZ'S record label. Some sources say they're just friends . . . and others say Pete is PISSED that he signed this guy, and now he's running around with Ashlee. (Full Story)

TONY DANZA and his wife of 24 years are getting divorced. It's not such a big deal, though, because they've been separated since 2006. (Full Story)

NICOLE RICHIE and JOEL MADDEN got into a playful little Twitter fight because she spent $3,000 on pillows. (Full Story)

There was a rumor going around that the original GUNS N' ROSES lineup would be reuniting at the Super Bowl next year. Well, that's not true. (Full Story)

(--The rumor should have been that the original Guns N' Roses lineup has been booked for the Super Bowl, and the reunion is expected to happen at 3:00 A.M. in front of an empty stadium.)

Can ERIC CLAPTON get any more awesome? In addition to doing his laundry at a public laundromat, Eric just sold more than 70 of his guitars, amps and other memorabilia to raise $2.15 million for the Crossroads Center. It's a rehab facility in Antigua that he co-founded in 1998. (Full Story)

The Annual "Forbes" Richest People In the World List Has a Record 1,210 Billionaires:

"Forbes" just released its 25th annual list of the world's richest people. And somehow, for the 25th year in a row, you didn't make it.

--Even with the global recession still going strong, this year had a record number of billionaires, at 1,210. And they combine for a record total net worth of $4.5 TRILLION.

--CARLOS "SLIM" HELU of Mexico was number one again. He's made his $71 BILLION by basically running all the telecommunications in the country.

--BILL GATES was second, with $56 BILLION and WARREN BUFFETT was third, with $50 BILLION. They could probably beat out Slim if they'd stop giving away so much damn money to charity.

--MARK ZUCKERBERG finished 52nd on the list, with a net worth now estimated at $13.5 BILLION. He beat out STEVE JOBS, who came in 110th with $8.3 BILLION.

--Facebook actually put six billionaires on the list. Besides Zuckerberg, his co-founder Dustin Moskovitz made the list . . . as did Eduardo Saverin, the guy who co-founded it then sued Zuckerberg.

--Sean Parker . . . the Napster guy played by JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE in the movie . . . is also on the list, with $1.6 BILLION. And two of Facebook's early investors, Peter Thiel and Yuri Milner, also made the list. (Forbes) (--Check out the full list here.)

One Out of Five People Have Participated In a March Madness Office Pool:

The March Madness tournament starts in less than a week. So, yeah . . . get ready for college basketball to be briefly relevant again. --According to an annual study by CareerBuilder, a full 20% of workers in the U.S. say they've participated in a March Madness office pool at some point in their careers. That's broken down to 28% of men and 11% of women. --People in the Midwest are most likely to have participated in a pool, at 27%. The Northeast is next at 20%, then the South at 17%, and the West at 16%. (PR Newswire)

Cap'n Crunch Isn't Going Anywhere After All:

Earlier this week, there were reports that CAP'N CRUNCH was getting killed off. --It looked like Quaker and their parent company PepsiCo were phasing out the Cap'n for two reasons. One, the connection between cartoon mascots, sugary cereals, and childhood obesity. And two, his cereal isn't selling that well any more. --Well . . . it's not true. After the backlash about killing off the Cap'n, Quaker just launched a new Twitter account, @RealCapnCrunch. And right now it's mostly the Cap'n replying to fans and telling them he's not going anywhere. (Twitter)

A Guy Is Training For the Los Angeles Marathon By Only Eating McDonald's:

This might be the best publicity McDonald's has EVER received. --36-year-old Joe D'Amico of Palatine, Illinois is a marathon runner who's training for the Los Angeles Marathon, on March 20th. And as part of his training, he's ONLY eating McDonald's for 30 days. Yes, it's like the exact opposite of "Super Size Me". --He eats three meals a day at McDonald's. Usually in the morning he goes for the hotcakes, an Egg McMuffin, and orange juice. For lunch he has a grilled chicken sandwich and a large Coke. For dinner, it's a hamburger, fries, and cookies. --Of course, he's also running an average of 14 miles EVERY DAY, which is why he can get away with eating so much fast food. --He says it's not all that different from other runners who eat pasta, bananas, and other foods to carbo-load. --Joe isn't connected to McDonald's in any way and they're not sponsoring him. He just says, quote, "I'm not trying to prove anyone wrong. I've been eating McDonald's since I was a kid." --Joe's best marathon time is two hours, 36 minutes . . . that's a six-minute mile pace. If he runs that in L.A. next weekend, he should finish in the top 50.
(Chicago Sun-Times)


Police Catch Two People Having Sex In a Parked Car . . . And The Woman Says She Was Rewarding the Man Because He Just Did Her Laundry:

On Wednesday morning, a woman was going to a public pool in Pompano Beach, Florida . . . glanced into a car in the parking lot . . . and saw a man and a woman GETTING-IT-ON. -That's great, right? Take a cell phone picture and go on with your day? Not this woman. She ratted them out to a lifeguard, and he called the police. --And when they got there, the couple was still in the car . . . and they caught 34-year-old Jennifer Bakely of Boca Raton performing her talents on 41-year-old Jeffrey Lebowitz of Oakland Park. --The couple had a very good excuse, though. Jennifer explained that Jeffrey had just DONE HER LAUNDRY, which is why she was rewarding him with a little 8:45 A.M. in-car hum-hum action.--Both of them were arrested and charged with lewd and lascivious behavior and unnatural and lascivious behavior. There was also some drug paraphernalia in the car, so that charge was tacked on too. (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)

A Woman Tries To Rob an Adult Bookstore . . . But Gets Stopped By Two Men Using the Private Booths In the Back:

Two men in Atlantic City, New Jersey are being called Good Samaritans today . . . but I really don't want to shake their hands. And here's why. --On Tuesday night, the two men were at an adult book shop called Atlantic City News and Bookstore. And both of them were in those private booths in the back of the store where you pay to watch a movie . . . and have your way with yourself. --While the two men were independently pounding on themselves, a woman came into the store, put a screwdriver against the clerk's back, and told her to empty the register. --The thief stole all of the large bills and ran off. As soon as she took the cash, the clerk started screaming. --Both of the men in the booths unhanded themselves and came out . . . no pun intended . . . to see what was going on. The clerk told them, and they took off down the street after the thief. --One of the guys flagged down a police officer, and the other one kept the thief from running away. The cops arrived, the men pointed out the thief, and she was arrested. --The thief's name wasn't released, and neither were the names of the two men . . . probably to keep their privacy. (Press of Atlantic City)

Remember the Burglar Who Called 911 On Himself Because He Was Scared of the Homeowner? Yeah, He Just Got Arrested Again:

On Wednesday, the world learned about 24-year-old idiot burglar Timothy Chapek of Portland, Oregon. --That's because on Monday night, Timothy broke into a house, got scared when the owner came home, locked himself in her bathroom, and called 911 ON HIMSELF. He said he was taking a shower and was afraid the owner had a gun. --He was arrested for trespassing, but that wasn't enough to hold him, so he was released. --And just after midnight on Wednesday, Timothy was arrested for the SECOND TIME this week. --The police in Chehalis, Washington got a call from the local Walmart that there was a theft in progress. --When they got there, Timothy was in the parking lot loading stolen items into the trunk of his car. --At least they thought it was his car. See, in between his arrest and release on Monday, and his arrest on Wednesday, Timothy had broken into a BMW dealership in Beaverton, Oregon and stolen a 5-series BMW. --He's been arrested again and charged with . . . well . . . everything. (ABC 2 - Portland)

In Indiana, A Man Beats Up His Mother-In-Law After She Complains About His Burping:

On Tuesday morning, 33-year-old Joseph Cunningham of Solsberry, Indiana was in the car with his wife and his 55-year-old mother-in-law. Joseph was in the backseat and the mother-in-law was driving. --And Joseph let out a BURP. Which, according to his mother-in-law was, quote, "a sour belch" with a foul odor. --She started complaining about the burp, they started arguing, and Joseph said he wanted to get out of the car. So his mother-in-law pulled over. --But before he got out, he reached into the driver's seat and started STRANGLING HER. She struggled to get free, and Joseph's wife tried to pull him off. --She finally got out of the car, and so did Joseph. That's when he allegedly PUNCHED HER in the face and said, quote, "I'll kill you, [effing] [witch]." --Joseph was arrested and charged with battery, intimidation, and strangulation. --His mother-in-law said her jaw was sore and had red marks on her neck but was OK otherwise. (Bloomington Herald Times)


A Dog In Oregon Saved Its Owner's Life By Sniffing Out His Heart Attack Hours Before It Happened:

Here's more proof that you SHOULD listen to your instincts and get a dog this weekend. Rescue one from a shelter. You DO have room in your life for one. --62-year-old Danny Fincher of North Portland, Oregon and his wife Gayle have a 15-year-old Labrador mix named Ceili. Usually she spends the day just lying around. --But one day, she started following Danny around obsessively. She'd try to block his path when he went into rooms. She kept licking his arms and legs and smelling his breath. When he tried to walk up stairs, she nipped at his feet. --It was like she sensed something was wrong and was trying to warn him. Because something WAS wrong. Right there, on the stairs, Danny had a HEART ATTACK. --Ceili tugged him down to safety, then ran to the room where Gayle was watching TV and started barking like crazy and running back and forth between that room and the stairs. --Gayle went to check on Danny, saw him on the ground, and took him to a hospital nearby. He was getting treatment within 20 minutes of the heart attack . . . and that quick treatment was a HUGE reason Danny pulled through. --Danny says, quote, "There's no question [Ceili] saved my life". --Dogs are so in tune with their owners that they use their heightened senses and attention to notice when something is off. They can sniff out infections, heart attacks, blood pressure changes, and even cancer. (The Oregonian) (--Here's a photo of Danny with Ceili.)


A blind man in the UK has a seeing-eye-dog that went blind. So he got a SECOND seeing-eye-dog to lead them both around. (Full Story)

How much cheaper is it to drink tap water instead of bottled water? On average, tap water costs less than a penny a gallon. Bottled water costs about $8 a gallon. (Full Story)

Only 1% of Americans are millionaires . . . but 60% of first-year Senators and 40% of first-year members of the House of Representatives are. The median wealth for a first-year member of the House is $570,000, and in the Senate it's $4 million. (Full Story)

A guy in Missouri shot his parents when they refused to believe he was Jesus. (Full Story)

A guy in the UK has made history . . . as the first person to be arrested for stalking someone on the internet. He created 35 different blogs to harass a woman he only dated for a month. (Full Story)


#1.) A Massive Earthquake Hit the Coast of Japan Last Night . . . and the Tsunami Footage is Pretty Insane:

An 8.9-magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of northern Japan last night . . . afternoon their time . . . and it triggered some insane tsunamis. --The news footage showed a HUGE wall of water filled with debris, mud, boats, and houses absolutely wrecking farms and properties near the coast. The epicenter was about 230 miles from Tokyo, so it doesn't look like any huge buildings toppled. (--Search for "BBC - JAPAN Tsunami")

#2.) Seedy Taco Joint Brawls Part One: A Guy Got Knocked Out By One Punch . . . So His Friend Tossed His Little Dog Aside and Joined In:

There's new footage online of five guys brawling this past January at a taco joint in Eastvale, California (--about 30 miles east of L.A.) A guy walked in and squared up with two guys already in the restaurant . . . which was a BAD idea. --He took a HUGE shot to the jaw with the first punch, fell to the ground, and couldn't get up. Then while he was on the ground, he got kicked in the head TWICE. You can see it from two different angles on --There's also a strange part you might miss if you're not paying attention: When the guy gets clocked, one of his friends is holding a small dog for some reason, and he just tosses it to the ground and joins in. Now THAT'S a friend. (--Search for "Taco Joint Brawl Taped From Two Angles." In both videos, the fight starts at :53. At 1:04, the guy gets punched, and the dog gets tossed. Then the guy gets kicked at 1:11 and 1:19.)
#3.) Seedy Taco Joint Brawls Part Two: Drag Queen Battle Royale!

If your appetite for taco joint brawls remains unfulfilled, you should also check out a new video on YouTube called "Taco Shop Drag Queen Tranny Brawl". The title pretty much says it all, but it's five drag queens brawling for a minute, and the wigs go flying. --You'll notice that one important aspect of fighting like a dude while dressed as a woman is HEELS. They just don't hold up on the greasy tile floor of a seedy taco joint. (--WARNING: This video includes the F-word and other profanity.)

#4.) A Woman Didn't Pick Up Her Dog's Poop, So an Old Man Threw It at Her:

There's a hilarious new video out of Poland, where an angry old man yells at a woman for not picking up her dog's poop. When she argues back, he picks it up and THROWS it at her . . . TWICE. Then . . . and this is the best part . . . she accidentally steps in it. (--Search YouTube for "Old Man Throws Dog Poop" He starts throwing it at :14, and she steps in her own dog's poop at :21.)

#5.) A Tortoise With Two Heads and Five Legs Will Soon Be Predicting the Outcomes of Ice Hockey Matches in Slovakia:

A tortoise born with two heads and five legs will soon be predicting the outcome of ice hockey matches in Slovakia. Her name is Magdelina, and you can see footage of her on YouTube. (--Search for "Tortoise Has Two Heads and Five Legs")

#6.) Two Asian Guys Passed Out While They Were Standing Up on the Subway . . . And Somehow They Didn't Fall Over:

There's a video on YouTube of two Asian guys passed out while they're standing up on a moving subway train. And somehow, they never fall over. (--Search for "Sleeping on the Chinese Subway")

The Five Best and Worst Professions to Look for in a Future Husband:

Ladies, if you're single and you're hoping to find Mr. Right this weekend, the website The Stir has a list of the best and worst professions to look for in a future husband. Here's their list. --We'll start with the BEST professions to look for in a husband:

#1.) An Engineer. He'll get paid well, and won't have to work as many hours as a doctor or a lawyer. And engineers are usually in pretty high demand.

#2.) A Teacher. He won't make much money, but he'll be good with kids, have decent hours, and get summers off.

#3.) A College Professor. He'll come with basically the same perks as a teacher, but with more money and usually more brains.

#4.) A Firefighter. Apparently the woman who wrote the article has a THING for firefighters. But with that said, a lot of firefighters make very decent money and get to retire early with a good pension.

#5.) A Plumber. According to, plumbers make between twenty and thirty dollars an hour. Plus, they can fix basically anything around the house.

--Now, here are the WORST professions to look for in a future spouse:

#1.) An Accountant. They work long hours, can't take time off during certain months of the year, and there's a solid chance he'll end up hating his job . . . or already does.

#2.) A Psychiatrist. They tend to psychoanalyze EVERYONE, including their spouses and their kids. So every single day of your life will feel like therapy.

#3.) A Surgeon. Because of malpractice insurance and student loans, they don't make as much as you think they do. And they're constantly on call.

#4.) A Lawyer. The money is good, but lawyers are constantly working, and they're constantly stressed out . . . which will eventually make YOU stressed out.

#5.) A Professional Athlete. Again, the money is good . . . but if you've paid attention to any pro athlete scandal EVER, you know that he'll almost definitely cheat on you. (The Stir)

Four Tips for Buying a Girl a Drink:

It's the most basic move in picking up women: buying her a drink. But it's also pretty easy to BLOW IT if you do it wrong. Today, from "Ask Men", we've got four guidelines you should always follow when trying to buy a girl a drink.

#1.) Ask Her What She's Drinking. Instead of coming right out and asking, "Can I buy you a drink?", ask her WHAT she's drinking. --She'll appreciate that you bothered to ask, and you'll avoid wasting money on something she doesn't like.

#2.) Don't Get Her Drunk. This should go without saying, but DON'T get her drunk. The point is to break the ice and make it easier to get to know each other, not get her so trashed she'd be willing to go home with any random stranger.

#3.) Pace *Yourself* Too. The more sober YOU are the better chance you have of making a good impression, getting her number, and seeing her again. As a general rule, keep it to about two or three drinks and you should be okay.

#4.) Run a Tab. If you keep a tab instead of paying for each drink as it comes, it shows you're invested in this girl and not just buying drinks for any random woman who will accept. (Ask Men)


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