HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (03-15-11)
Is There An Usher Sex Tape?
Ladies, this one's for you: There might be an USHER sex tape floating around. --Supposedly, someone is shopping a tape featuring Usher and his ex-wife TAMEKA FOSTER. It was shot in happier times, of course. They split up in 2009. --TMZ claims to have seen the tape, and they say it's definitely Usher and Tameka. So far, no one has posted pictures or video from it. --Usher has yet to comment, but Tameka discussed it with her Twitter followers for a while yesterday. And she didn't deny such a tape might exist. In fact, she seemed to CONFIRM it. --First, she said, quote, "NEWSFLASH!! BREAKING NEWS! GUESS WHAT??!! I have copulated w/my husband! O_O. Why is this news again?? #ConfusedTweet. End of discussion." --Later on, she added, quote, "Yes, I can't stress over what I can't change. Hey I was married, happily. So there's a chance that we might . . . It's silly 'news' 2 me." --Then she released a formal statement. Once again, there's no denial. She said, quote, "Yes, I have had sex with my [ex] husband. Multiple times. Would I sanction a sex tape being out? Absolutely not. --"I am a mother and entrepreneur. Sex tapes or pornography would not be my lane. I have no desire to be seen in that way."
Did Ryan Phillippe Accidentally Make a Baby?
RYAN PHILLIPPE'S ex-girlfriend is pregnant . . . and she thinks the baby might be his. Her name is Alexis Knapp. She's 26 years old, and she dated Ryan last year. --She had a minor role in "Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief", and she'll be in MILEY CYRUS' upcoming movie, "So Undercover". --Alexis is due to have a baby in June . . . meaning she was probably fertilized sometime last September. A source says, quote, "She has told friends that the child is Ryan's." --The source adds, quote, "Ryan is aware of the situation and totally prepared to take responsibility should the child be his." There's been no word from either of their reps. (--Here's a picture of Alexis with fetus.) --Ryan may or may not be dating AMANDA SEYFRIED. They're one of those couples the gossip blogs like to break up and put back together on a daily basis.
Random Sheen-Anigans:
#1.) CHARLIE SHEEN and his parasites made a stupid "short film". (Video)
#2.) PETE WENTZ spoke about his divorce from ASHLEE SIMPSON on RYAN SEACREST'S radio show yesterday. Speaking about how grateful he is not to be the big story in showbiz these days, he said, quote, "It's like the one time on Earth I'm like, 'Thank God Charlie Sheen exists.'" (Audio)
#3.) "Goddess" BREE OLSON has lined up her first non-porno flick. She'll appear in a movie called "Mancation", playing the wife of 'N SYNC stud JOEY FATONE. All we know about her part is that Joey comes home and finds her cheating on him . . . with a woman. (Full Story)
Gilbert Gottfried Got Fired As the Voice of the Aflac Duck . . . Because He Tweeted Insensitive Tsunami Jokes:
As the voice of the Aflac insurance duck, GILBERT GOTTFRIED had one of the sweetest gigs in showbiz. --All he had to do was show up to a recording studio every once in a while and shout "Aflac!" into a microphone a few times. And it probably paid him more money than any job he ever had. (--With the possible exception of playing the parrot in "Aladdin".) --But he BLEW IT. He posted a bunch of insensitive tsunami jokes, and Aflac FIRED HIM. --It seems that Aflac does a lot of business in Japan. Not that they wouldn't have canned him anyway. --The company released the following statement . . . quote, "Gilbert's recent comments about the crisis in Japan were lacking in humor and certainly do not represent the thoughts and feelings of anyone at Aflac. --"There is no place for anything but compassion and concern during these difficult times." --There's going to be a nationwide search for the new voice of the Aflac duck. --Here are the insensitive Tweets that got Gilbert fired. (CAREFUL!) There are a dozen of them total . . . --"Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them." --"What do the japanese have in common with @howardstern? They're both radio active." --"Japan had put out this urgent plea...." PLEASE SEND US A FEW BILLION RUBBER DUCKIES!!!!!" --"Japan called me. They said "maybe those jokes are a hit in the US, but over here, they're all sinking." --"I (effed) a girl in Japan. She screamed "I feel the earth move and I'm getting wet." --"My book #rubberBallsAndLiquor was released in Japan. It's making quite a splash." --"What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights." --"I asked a girl in Japan to have sex with me. She said 'okay, but you'll have to sleep in the wet spot.'" --"What do Japanese Jews like to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami." --"I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said 'is there a school in this area.' She said 'not now, but just wait.'" --"My Japanese doctor advised me to stay healthy I need 50 million gallons of water a day." --"I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, 'They'll be another one floating by any minute now.'" (--Gilbert ended up removing the Tweets from his page, but we got some screen shots. Check 'em out here.)
Lindsay Lohan Has Quit Smoking:
Sources tell TMZ that LINDSAY LOHAN has QUIT SMOKING. She reportedly quit cold turkey a week ago, and now she works out with a personal trainer every morning. (--There aren't a lot of times when you can defend smoking, but this might be one of them. I would recommend that Lindsay keep on smoking as much as she wants to.) (--It's probably the best way to ensure that she doesn't fall back into other vices.) (--When someone is giving up several other addictions and making massive life changes, that's often not the time to do battle with nicotine . . . which most people will tell you is the most addictive substance of them all.)
Will Donald Trump Pay Off Richard Hatch's Tax Bill?
Yesterday, RICHARD HATCH began serving a NINE-MONTH prison sentence over his continuing battle with the IRS. And DONALD TRUMP . . . his "boss" on "Celebrity Apprentice" . . . is trying to figure out a way to help. --He says, quote, "It sounds like a very tough predicament. I may ask him if there's anything I can do . . . I may get involved and ask him what the hell is going on." --Trump says that helping Richard pay off his debt would be, quote, "something I'd think about." He adds, quote, "He's been a great character on the show." --Trump won't say how far Hatch gets in the competition. He says, quote, "If he makes it to the finals . . . and I'm not saying he is . . . I'm sure we can get him time off for good behavior." (--If Trump is able to get Richard Hatch out of prison just because he wants him to appear on his TV show, that would send the message that people with money are somehow above the law.) (--And we all know that's not true, don't we?)
Snooki Has a Match at "Wrestlemania" . . . ?
SNOOKI will appear at "Wrestlemania 27" on April 3rd on pay-per-view. And she's not just going to be a lame, token celebrity guest star. SHE HAS A MATCH. --For real: Snooki will team up with women's rasslin' legend TRISH STRATUS and a hot dude named JOHN MORRISON. --Their opponents will be VICKIE GUERRERO, the team of "Laycool" . . . which is made up of two chicks named MICHELLE MCCOOL and LAYLA . . . and DOLPH ZIGGLER. (--Yeah, it's 4-on-3, but don't worry. It's all scripted.) --They set the whole thing up last night on "Monday Night Raw". Snooki was at ringside to watch a match between Stratus and Guerrero. --But when Laycool and Ziggler interfered on Guerrero's behalf, Morrison and Snooki came to Trish's rescue. And Snooki got right into the action. --First, she pulled McCool's foot and made her smack her face on the ring apron . . . then she got into the ring, took down Layla and started banging her head against the mat. (--It was pretty bad-ass. I definitely give Snooki props for going for it. You can watch video here.) --FYWI: For Your Wrestling Information: Vickie Guerrero is the widow of the late, great EDDIE GUERRERO. Eddie died of heart failure in 2005, at the age of 38. It was most likely brought on by years of substance abuse. --Michelle McCool is the wife of THE UNDERTAKER. They got married last June. (--Incidentally, J-WOWW has made appearances for the WWE's weak-sauce competitor, TNA. And former "Jersey Shore" skank Angelina Pivarnick is actually going to start rasslin' for them.)
Matt Damon's "Hereafter" Has Been Pulled From Theaters in Japan . . . Because It Includes a Tsunami:
The MATT DAMON movie "Hereafter" . . . which was directed by CLINT EASTWOOD . . . has been removed from theaters in Japan, because it includes a recreation of the 2004 tsunami in the Indian Ocean. --Obviously, that's not what the Japanese people want to see right now. Coincidentally, the DVD hits the U.S. today. (--You can see the trailer here.)
Check Out a Phony Trailer for "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" That Makes It Look Like One of Those Little Indie Flicks:
Somebody made a fake trailer for "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" that makes it look like one of those little indie flicks that SOFIA COPPOLA or WES ANDERSON would make. (--Check it out here.)
Will Larry King Join "The Daily Show" As a Contributor?
There's some talk online about LARRY KING joining "The Daily Show" as a correspondent . . . but nothing is imminent yet. --Comedy Central "insiders" tell the "Hollywood Reporter" that "the possibility has been discussed" . . . but that "Daily Show" reps have only had ONE conversation with Larry at this point. --If it does end up happening, Larry probably wouldn't be a regular contributor like SAMANTHA BEE or JOHN OLIVER . . . instead he'd have a recurring segment like the ones that LEWIS BLACK and JOHN HODGMAN do. --There's been no official comment from either Larry or Comedy Central.
Tuesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)
--"Glee" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Kathy Griffin and Loretta Devine guest star as Regional competition judges.)
--"Onion SportsDome" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--The 2011 OSNY Awards wraps up the coverage of the first season.)
--"The Biggest Loser" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. (--The remaining chubbies are challenged to make a delicious low-calorie meal, which will be judged by chefs Curtis Stone and Lorena Garcia.)
--"V" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Diana uses Lisa to overthrow Anna as queen. Original "V" star Marc Singer has a cameo.)
--"Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on WE.
--"Detroit 1-8-7" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Michael Imperioli's real son Vadim plays his character's son, when his ex-wife brings him to Detroit for a visit.)
--"The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump" . . . 10:30 P.M. to Midnight on Comedy Central. (--Seth MacFarlane is the emcee and the celebrities who will participate in the roast include Larry King, Snoop Dogg, The Situation, Marlee Matlin, Lisa Lampanelli, Whitney Cummings and Jeffrey Ross.)
--"Four of A Kind" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Lifetime. (--A reality show about four identical sisters in high school.) (Official Site)
NEW ON VIDEO TODAY
--"The Fighter" - Mark Wahlberg plays a guy trying to save a failing boxing career, and Christian Bale plays his brother . . . a former boxer who went the distance against Sugar Ray Leonard before throwing his career away on drugs. It's based on the early years of boxer Mickey Ward, who overcame a broken hand to go 38-13 in his career. Marky Mark does his own boxing in the movie, and also had to learn to fight right-handed, because Ward is a righty but Wahlberg's a lefty.
--"Hereafter" - Matt Damon is a reluctant psychic trying to lead a normal life, despite being able to talk to the dead. Comedian Jay Mohr plays his older brother and Bryce Dallas Howard plays a woman that Matt Damon is dating. The movie's directed by Clint Eastwood and some of it is a little more poignant in the aftermath of what happened to Japan because one of the other main characters is a French chick who survives a tsunami.
--"The Switch" - Jennifer Aniston gets a handsome stud to be a sperm donor so she can have a baby. But then her best friend, Jason Bateman, accidentally spills the goods . . . and replaces the lost man-juice with his own.
--"Spooner" - Matthew Lillard plays a socially awkward guy who needs to learn to grow up after his parents threaten to throw him out by his 30th birthday.
--"BMX Bandits" - a 1983 Australian kids movie starring a 16-year-old Nicole Kidman. She and her two friends find some police-band walkie talkies that were to be used some bank robbers for a heist. Teenage chaos ensues. (Trailer) (Video)
And for the kids. . .
--"Barbie: A Fairy Secret" - A direct-to-video DVD that has nothing to do with the previous "Fairytopia" movies. In this one, Barbie is a movie star who goes on an adventure to rescue Ken after they discover that fairies are living among us. (--Her two best friends turn out to be secret "fashion fairies". One of them draws magical strength from shoes, and the other is a purse fairy. If your kids are of an age where that makes sense, then visit the site for more info.)
TV Series On DVD:
--"Who Do You Think You Are? - Season 1" . . . a two-disc DVD set. The first season included the genealogy of Sarah Jessica Parker, Lisa Kudrow, Brooke Shields, Matthew Broderick, Susan Surandon, Emmitt Smith, and Spike Lee.
--"Coach: Season 4" . . . a three-disc DVD set. (--It ran for nine seasons.)
--"The Virginian: Season 3" . . . a ten-disc DVD set. (--It ran for nine seasons and was the third longest-running western, behind "Gunsmoke" and "Bonanza", which is interesting given that you never learn the main character's name. He only goes by "The Virginian". You can watch the title sequence here.)
NEW MUSIC OUT TODAY
This Week's CD Releases:
--"American Idol: 10th Anniversary: The Hits Volume 1" (--Songs from the nine winners, plus Clay Aiken (who lost to Ruben Studdard in Season 2), Daughtry (Chris was Season 5's shocking elimination), and Adam Lambert (who lost to Kris Allen in Season 8). (--You can see the full track list here.)
--"Give the Drummer Some", Travis Barker (--A ton of rappers appear on this disc, including: Lil Wayne, Rick Ross, Game, Pharrell Williams, Lupe Fiasco, Slaughterhouse, Yelawolf, Kid Cudi and Cypress Hill.)
--"High Maintenance", Miranda Cosgrove (--A five-song EP, paired with a DVD of Miranda in the recording studio and rehearsing for her tour.) (--Miranda turns 18 in May and I guess we're supposed to start taking her a little more seriously now. One of her songs was co-written by Avril Lavigne, and Rivers Cuomo from Weezer wrote the title track.)
--"10", Toby Keith (--A DVD collection of his ten biggest videos.)
TODAY'S NEW VIDEO GAMES
Game Releases . . . Korea Invades The U.S. in "Homefront":
--"Homefront" (M) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and PC. A first person shooter in which you play a member of the American resistance two years after the United States has been invaded and occupied by Korea forces. It's set in the year 2027 and the campaign was written by guy who wrote "Red Dawn" and co-wrote "Apocopate Now". (Launch Trailer)
Multiplayer has 32 players on large maps with drivable tanks and choppers. You can also control a tiny UAV helicopter just like in "Bad Company 2", or a small R/C car like in "Call of Duty: Black Ops". Multiplayer also uses a battle points system, similar to "Black Ops" currency system, which you can then spend on killstreaks and vehicles.
(Multiplayer Trailer)
--"Yakuza 4" (M) . . . on PS3. More hand to hand combat with Japanese mobsters, along with a variety of mini games like pachinko, and karaoke. (Story Trailer) (Careful, it includes the S-Word.) Plus, the game rewards you with a little cleavage once you start beating your female opponent during a naughty table tennis match. (Table Tennis)
--"Top Spin 4" (E) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii. Play tennis against pros like Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Andy Roddick and Serena Williams, as well as legends like Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi and Björn Borg. The game also supports motion control for the PS3-Move and Wii. (Trailer)
--"Fit in Six" (E) . . . on PS3 and Wii. A motion controlled workout, broke down into six main groups: core body, upper body, lower body, cardio, balance and flexibility. Workouts can also be supplemented with additional downloadable routines. (Trailer)
--"Total War: Shogun 2" (T) . . . on PC. The latest "Total War" installment returns to 16th century feudal Japan as you fight to gain control of the country. It uses a combination of real time and turn based strategy to control nine different Japanese clans. And the game AI uses the principles of Sun Tzu's "The Art of War". (Trailer)
ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)
BIEBER FEVER - 1 of 2
Two Teenage Girls Broke Into Justin Bieber's Hotel Room:
Britain's not-always-reliable "Mirror" tabloid says two teenage girls, ages 16 and 18, broke into JUSTIN BIEBER'S hotel room in Liverpool last week. (--This is the same hotel where Justin's fans created a mob scene in the streets.) --The "Mirror" claims the girls got into the room by posing as HOUSEKEEPERS. Justin wasn't there at the time, so the girls occupied themselves by taking pictures of his, quote, "highly personal items." (--We're not sure what that means.) --The girls were eventually discovered when Justin's security walked in on them crawling into his bed. Obviously, they were kicked out . . . and after being told about the situation, Justin opted to sleep in his tour bus that night. --A "source" says that Justin was, quote, "furious." --It doesn't sound like the girls will be punished for the break-in, criminally at least. However, they'll have to live with knowing that they pissed Justin off, which would be a heavy burden for any Justin Bieber fan to bear. (--Not that they're, like, TRUE fans, anyway. REAL fans don't hurt Justin!) (???) --Neither Justin nor his people have confirmed this story.
Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never" Is Now the Second Highest-Grossing Concert Film of All-Time:
JUSTIN BIEBER'S "Never Say Never" movie raked in another $1.4 million last weekend, which brings its five-week box office total to just under $71 million. --That's enough to make it the second-highest-grossing concert film of all time, behind MICHAEL JACKSON'S "This Is It" . . . which made $72.1 million. --For you non-math majors, Justin only needs another $1.1 million to surpass Michael and take over the #1 spot. --"Never Say Never" passed MILEY CYRUS' "Hannah Montana: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour" two weeks ago. She's now in third place with $65.3 million.
Justin Bieber Has Released His "That Should Be Me" Video:
JUSTIN BIEBER has released his "That Should Be Me" video. The video, like the song, features RASCAL FLATTS. (--You can check it out, here.)
Former Social Distortion Drummer Casey Royer Was Arrested for OD'ing in Front of His 12-Year-Old Son:
CASEY ROYER . . . who was SOCIAL DISTORTION'S original drummer . . . has become a STRONG candidate for Worst Dad of the Year. --Yesterday, Casey was charged with child endangerment after allegedly OD'ing on heroin in front of his 12-year-old son. -According to TMZ, Casey and son were watching TV together. But that wasn't something Casey could enjoy sober, so he did some heroin . . . A LOT of heroin. He overdosed, and his son ran to a neighbor to get help. --The cops were called, and Casey was hospitalized. He survived . . . and as of last night, he was still locked up on $120,000 bail. --Oh, and let's hope someone with a head on their shoulders rescued his kid . . . because the police say Casey's house was "littered" with garbage, as well as needles and other drug paraphernalia. (--Casey was only a member of Social D for a year or so, back in the late '70s. Since then, he's played with the punk bands D.I., ADZ and THE ADOLESCENTS. Here's Casey's booking photo.)
Blink-182 Is Auctioning Off Memorabilia to Benefit Victims of the Tsunami in Japan:
BLINK-182 bassist MARK HOPPUS is selling all kinds of personal memorabilia to raise money for the victims of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. --The items include: The orange shirt he wore in their "Dammit" video . . . old backstage passes . . . and Blink-182's dressing room sign from the "MTV VMAs". There's also some original, handwritten lyric sheets. --100% of the proceeds will go to the American Red Cross' disaster relief efforts in Japan. As of last night, the six items Mark posted had bids totaling over $30,000 . . . and all the auctions have at least three more days to go. (--You can browse all the items here.)
Video of Lady Gaga Joining a Lady Gaga Impersonator Onstage:
LADY GAGA performed in Louisville, Kentucky TWICE on Saturday night. The first show was her scheduled arena gig . . . the second one was at a local gay bar, where a Lady Gaga IMPERSONATOR was performing. --The real Lady Gaga joined the impersonator in the middle of "Born This Way". --She came onstage just in time for the "Don't be a drag, just be a queen" chant from the song, which was appropriate since the impersonator WAS a drag queen himself. (--Herself?) --And the real Lady Gaga did not hold back. She did a stage dive, gyrated with her impersonator, and spent a good three minutes performing for the crowd before walking off stage. It's unclear how much of this, if any of it, was planned ahead of time. (--You can find video, here. Note: The audio is VERY ROUGH, so you might want to turn your volume down a little before playing this.) (--Lady Gaga is the one on the left at the beginning of the video . . . although there's no doubt which one is the real Lady Gaga once it shifts to the close-up.)
Jon Bon Jovi Says Steve Jobs and iTunes Have Killed the Music Business:
JON BON JOVI enjoyed discovering and experiencing new albums when he was younger, but he says that adventure is dead to kids today, thanks to iTunes. --Jon explains, quote, "Kids today have missed the whole experience of putting the headphones on, turning it up to 10, holding the jacket, closing their eyes and getting lost in an album . . . --"And the beauty of taking your allowance money [to the record store] and making a decision based on the jacket . . . not knowing what the record sounded like, and looking at a couple of still pictures and imagining it." --He adds, quote, "God, it was a magical, magical time. I hate to sound like an old man now, but I am, and you mark my words, in a generation from now people are going to say: 'What happened?'. --"[Apple CEO] Steve Jobs is personally responsible for killing the music business." (--Well, I'm not sure about that. The digital evolution was going to happen with or without iTunes and the iPod, because it was already happening. And besides, the current model has a lot of pluses for consumers.) (--For instance, it was fantastic when you took a chance on an album based on the artwork, and it turned out to be AWESOME. But when the album SUCKED . . . well, you were out your $7.99, and there was nothing you could do about it.) (--Now, you can listen to a whole album before deciding whether to buy it. Of course, that doesn't give an album a chance to grow on you . . . and a lot of my favorite albums when I was younger had to do just that.) (--But in this economy, I'll err on the side of NOT WASTING MY MONEY ON CRAP . . . especially since the music industry is turning out so damn much of it these days.)
The Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block Are Releasing a *Joint* Greatest Hits Album . . . With Some NEW Music:
The BACKSTREET BOYS and NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK have toured together . . . and now, they're taking their newfound man-love for each other to the next level. --They're doing a JOINT greatest hits album called "NKOTBSB", which of course is a blend of both groups' initials. There will also be a few NEW songs, which they will do together . . . as one single boy band juggernaut. --One of those songs "Don't Turn Out the Lights" will be the first single. --The disc will feature five classic singles by each group. And they're letting FANS decide which tracks make the cut through an online poll at NKOTBSBvote.com. Voting is open from now through NEXT Thursday. (--You can also pre-order the album through that site. If you do it by March 24th, they'll include your name somewhere in the album's packaging.) (--You'll also get an exclusive tour poster and photos, which the 11-year-old version of yourself would have considered SOOOO RADICAL!) --The album comes out on May 24th.
TUESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS
Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond, Dr. John, Tom Waits, Leon Russell and others were officially inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night. The ceremony will air Sunday night on Fuse. (Full Story)
ELLEN DEGENERES' stalker was sentenced to three years' probation, and ordered to stay away from, quote, "both Mrs. DeGeneres'." (Full Story)
A Polish man broke into MADONNA'S London mansion over the weekend by breaking a window. Madonna and her kids were in Michigan at the time, for the funeral of Madonna's grandmother. (Full Story)
RUSSELL BRAND used to smash dead animals onstage and throw them into the audience. (Full Story)
You may not have known this, but TYRA BANKS attends Harvard Business School. (Full Story)
If you had young children, would your conscience allow you to go to an amusement park without them . . . but with your sexy girlfriend instead? ALEX RODRIGUEZ took CAMERON DIAZ to Busch Gardens in Tampa. (Full Story)
Disney has kicked the computer-animated remake of the BEATLES' "Yellow Submarine" to the curb. Director ROBERT ZEMECKIS is free to take the project to another studio . . . but there's no word if he's going to. (Full Story)
We'd heard that TRENT REZNOR had signed on to score AND appear in the movie "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", but apparently it wasn't a done deal yet . . . and now, it's not happening after all. (Full Story)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
March Madness Pools are Only the Second-Most Popular Type of Office Pool:
The NCAA tournament starts on Thursday, so if your office is going to be doing a March Madness pool . . . and you're cool enough to be included . . . the brackets are probably circulating. --A staffing company called Spherion just released the results of a nationwide survey of workers to find out which types of office gambling are the most popular. And even though March Madness gets the most press . . . it only came in SECOND. --Turns out Super Bowl office pools are actually more common. 63% of the people who've participated in an office pool say it was related to the Super Bowl, versus 55% who've done one for the NCAA tournament. --Pooling money together for lottery tickets was the third-most popular type of office gambling. --It's followed by fantasy football . . . World Series pools . . . baby-related pools . . . Kentucky Derby pools . . . award show pools . . . Stanley Cup pools . . . and finally, reality TV show pools. --Overall, 46% of people said they'd participated in a pool. --Of the group that had never participated, the majority said it's because they've never been invited. 13% didn't do it because they felt it was violating company policy . . . and 4% didn't do it because of religious reasons. (PR Newswire)
Al-Qaeda Has Launched a Women's Magazine?
Everything about this story feels like it's one of those fake-news articles from "The Onion". But it's not. --Al-Qaeda has launched a brand new magazine for women, and to sum it up, it's like "Cosmo" for the lady jihadist. --The magazine is called "Al-Shamikha", which translates to "The Majestic Woman". Here's some of the content from the debut issue . . . and again, THIS IS REAL. --A glossy cover featuring purple and pink colors . . . and a machine gun. --Exclusive interviews with the wives of martyrs who gush about their husbands' decision to become suicide bombers. --An advice column for single ladies on "how to marry a mujahideen." That's a Muslim who fights as part of a jihad. --A health column that recommends women don't towel themselves off too forcefully. --And a beauty column that tells women the best way to keep a clear complexion is to STAY INDOORS with their faces covered. --The magazine also says the next issue will contain more tips on skin care . . . plus tips on how to pull off an electronic jihad. (Daily Mail) (--Here's the magazine cover.)
The Average Woman Has 17 Pairs of Shoes . . . And 24% Have Fallen Because of High Heels:
"ShopSmart" magazine just released the results of a survey on women and shoes, and here's the short version: Online shoe buying is in, stripper heels are out, and shoe-related injuries are a very real thing. Now here's the long version . . . --The average woman now owns 17 pairs of shoes, which is down from 19 pairs four years ago. --Of those 17 pairs of shoes, the average woman only regularly wears three of them. --The average woman purchases three pairs a year and spends $49 on each pair. --29% of women shop for shoes online. Four years ago, only 14% of women shopped for shoes on the Internet. --Also, 14% of women have lied to their husband about at least one shoe purchase. --The most popular heel height is . . . no height. 39% of women say their favorite type of shoes are flats. Only 8% of women wear heels that are over two-and-a-half inches. --48% of women have had a shoe-related injury . . . everything from a blister to a break to a sprain. And 24% have actually fallen because of their high heels. (USA Today)
Check Out the 10 Most Counterfeited Products In the U.S.:
If you're wearing a Molex watch right now, wearing Reebuck shoes, and can't wait to get home to watch TV on your brand new high definition Sorny . . . then you're part of this problem. --According to Homeland Security's Customs and Border Protection, hundreds of millions of dollars of counterfeit goods are sold in this country every year . . . some of which fund criminal activities and organized crime. --Here's their list of the top 10 product categories that are counterfeited the most in the U.S.
#1.) Footwear
#2.) Consumer electronics
#3.) Handbags, wallets, and backpacks
#4.) Apparel
#5.) Watches
#6.) Computers and hardware
#7.) Media like DVDs and CDs
#8.) Pharmaceuticals
#9.) Jewelry
#10.) Toys and video games
(Daily Finance)
42% of American Millionaires Say They Don't Feel Rich . . . You Need $7.5 Million To Be Rich:
You know who I feel sorry for today? No, not the Japanese. MILLIONAIRES. Apparently THEY'RE the real victims right now. --According to a survey by Fidelity Investments of more than 1,000 millionaires, 42% of them, or more than two out of five, say they DON'T FEEL RICH. --When the survey asked how much it would take to feel rich, the average came out to $7.5 MILLION. So if you've only got $7 MILLION, you might as well start eating ramen noodles and driving around looking for used furniture. --The average person in the survey was 56 years old and had an average of $3.5 MILLION. --For the survey, people's wealth was based on their investable assets, not counting any real estate or retirement accounts. --Sanjib Mirchandani is the president of National Financial, which is a unit of Fidelity. He says, quote, "Every person in the survey is wealthy. But they are still worried about outliving their assets." (Reuters)
And Now, Three New Things To Worry About:
#1.) Men with Postpartum Depression: Postpartum depression ain't just for the ladies anymore. A study from the University of Michigan found that 7% of new fathers go through a major period of depression after their baby is born. And it gets worse. --Men who suffer from postpartum depression are FOUR TIMES more likely to SPANK their kids . . . and half as likely to read them a story. The researchers say to curb this trend, more men should be screened for postpartum depression. (AOL)
#2.) Your Kids Can Sleep Through the Smoke Alarm: The good news is, your kid's probably a strong sleeper. The bad news is . . . that means he can power right through an emergency. --In a study in Melbourne, Australia, researchers found that 87% of kids ages five to 10 could sleep through a smoke alarm that was under 30 seconds long, as could 56% of kids 11 through 15. (Epoch Times)
#3.) Your Kid's Addicted to the Internet: If you think your kid is too young to discover the Internet . . . he's not. Kids are going straight from the womb to the computer now. --A new report finds that almost 80%, or four out of five, children ages zero to five now use the Internet at least once a week. (Mashable)
In Russia, the Anti-Terrorist Bomb Squad is Called In To Defuse a Ticking . . . Love Toy:
There was a big scare in northwestern Russia yesterday. An anti-terrorism bomb squad was called into a post office when a worker found a package that was TICKING. (--This all went down in a city called Petrozavodsk.) --Russia has been on edge after three different terrorist bombings in the past year. --Thank goodness, this was not a repeat. After the post office was evacuated, the bomb squad investigated the package, and it turns out the bomb was actually . . . a VIBRATING LOVE TOY. (AFP)
50% of Adults Believe the Mind-Erasing Devices from "Men In Black" Are Real . . . And 20% Believe That Light Sabers are Real:
This is a survey out of the U.K., but we get the feeling like it applies pretty well over here too. The bottom line: When it comes to technology from movies, a LOT of people have problems separating the science from the fiction. Check this out: --Almost 50% of adults believe the mind erasing device from "Men In Black" exists. --More than 40% believe hoverboards exist, like the one in "Back To the Future Part Two". Almost 25% believe that teleportation is possible right now. --Almost 20% think you can SEE gravity. And more than 20% believe that light sabers exist. (AOL News)
A Bus in New York Crashed On the Way Back From a Casino, Killing 15 People . . . But Two Survivors Quickly Boarded Another Bus To Go Back and Gamble:
There was a tragic bus crash in New York City on Saturday morning: A group of people were heading home from the Mohegan Sun casino in Connecticut when the bus went off the road and hit a pole that sliced through the top of the bus. --Fifteen of the passengers died, at least one was decapitated, and several people had their arms ripped off. Another seventeen passengers survived the tragedy . . . including two men who are tragic in a WHOLE different way. --Within hours of surviving the crash and watching more than a dozen people die in front of their eyes. . . including friends . . . both of them were on ANOTHER bus BACK to the casino to get in some more gambling. --50-year-old Bernardo Garcia of Brooklyn was one of the survivors. His longtime friend and gambling buddy, Miguel Aquino, died in the crash. Bernardo was treated for minor injuries then headed straight for another bus. --55-year-old Theodore Radulescu from the Bronx was another survivor. He was briefly hospitalized, then ran out of the hospital still in his gown and bloody socks and bought some new clothes on the way back to the bus depot. --Theodore's reasoning for getting right back on a bus? Quote, "When a bomb goes off, it doesn't go off again in the same spot." --Theodore ended up losing $65 that night on video poker. There's no word on how Bernardo did. (New York Post)
An Elementary School Principal Tries To Stop Graffiti . . . By Removing the Bathroom Stall Doors:
I understand what this principal was trying to do. I really do. But in today's climate, you just CAN'T do things like this without the WRATH OF HELL raining down upon you. --Justin Barnes is the principal at Marion Elementary School in Marion, Montana. He was having problems with students vandalizing the bathroom stalls by carving graffiti into them. --So he announced that if the vandalism didn't stop, he was going to REMOVE the doors from the bathroom stalls. He figured that would stop the kids, but it didn't . . . they kept on carving. --So Barnes followed through . . . and removed all of the stall doors in both of the girls' and boys' bathrooms. He did leave one stall door up in each bathroom. --Two weeks went by and Barnes's move worked . . . the graffiti stopped. --But THEN, the parents found out about what was going on. And of course, they flipped out. --At a school board meeting, one parent said it was, quote, "a gross infringement of children's rights. [The Montana Constitution says] the right of individual privacy is essential to the well-being of a free society." --So, after two graffiti-free weeks, the doors went back up. Barnes says that if the graffiti comes back, he'll take the doors down again . . . and deal with the wrath that follows. (Daily Interlake)
Here's the Virgin Mary and Jesus On a Cooking Tray . . . And This One's Actually Pretty Good:
The VIRGIN MARY and JESUS have taken a brief hiatus from showing up in water stains, tree trunks, and pieces of toast to make their first-ever appearance in a new place. --In Mansfield, Massachusetts, burn marks that kinda sorta look like Mary and Jesus showed up on . . . a COOKING TRAY. It came out of an old brick pizza oven owned by Josh Mather, and he says the sight of it changed his life. --He found it last Tuesday and, quote, "I wasn't really a believer [but] I saw this, went on Ash Wednesday and got my ashes. It was the first time in 20 years I walked into church on my own." (NBC 7 - Boston) (--Here's a photo of the cooking tray. Normally we shrug off random holy sightings, but this image is pretty strong.)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS
A Female Cop Pulls Over a Moped Driver and Somehow Manages To Reject His Bribe Offer of $5 . . . a Kiss . . . and Sex:
On Sunday night, a 31-year-old police officer named Christina Rudell from the Indianapolis Metropolitan PD pulled over a man who was driving erratically . . . on a MOPED. --The driver was 22-year-old Adam Yarbrough of Indianapolis. Christina ran his license and found that it was suspended, so she started to write Adam a citation. And that's when he turned on his CHARM. --Adam told Christina she should stop writing the ticket. Quote, "How about we call it even and I give you $5 and you just get rid of this ticket and let me go?" --Christina turned down the bribe, so Adam upped the stakes. Quote, "OK, if you won't take the money, how about I give you a kiss?" --Again, she turned him down. So Adam pulled out the biggest card in his hand. Quote, "I haven't had sex in a while, so how about we do that?" --That DID get Christina to stop writing the ticket . . . so she could arrest Adam for FELONY BRIBERY. --After she did that, he kept making sexual remarks and screaming curse words, so disorderly conduct charges were added on, too. (The Smoking Gun)
A 14-Year-Old Boy Steals a Church Van and Drives It To . . . School?
THIS, my friends, is a perfect example of how much DUMBER today's kids are than we were. Because when we acted like punks and committed crimes, at least we had some kind of genius endgame in mind. --Last Friday, a 14-year-old boy in Gary, Indiana, stole a church van and used it to drive to . . . SCHOOL. Not to a strip club. Not across the state line to Chicago, "Ferris Bueller"-style. Not to Vegas. School. --A police officer was driving behind the van after the kid stole it, but didn't realize there was a 14-year-old behind the wheel until someone pointed it out to him. --The officer followed the van to the West Side Leadership Academy, watched the kid drive the van in a few circles around the parking lot, and then park. --He arrested the boy, who told him he stole the van because he, quote, "didn't want to walk from his home," which was nearby. --The boy's mother said her son must've stolen the keys while he was at choir practice at the church earlier in the week. --The charges against him are still pending. (Northwest Indiana Times)
RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS
Because of the disaster in Japan, Time Warner Cable announced yesterday that all calls to Japan placed by residential Digital Phone and Business Class Phone customers will be free through April 15th. And it applies to all calls placed since March 11th. (Full Story)
A fraternity pledge at the University of Virginia was hospitalized for chugging an entire bottle . . . of soy sauce. He had a seizure and was hospitalized for four days to treat an electrolyte imbalance caused by consuming large amounts of sodium. (Full Story)
The new CEO of Burger King got his business degree in England back in the day . . . and he recently told a group of American students, quote, "The food is terrible and the women are not very attractive." He's since had to apologize. (Full Story)
A three-year-old in the UK has become the youngest person ever to be treated for alcoholism. (Full Story)
A guy in Florida pranked 911 by reporting that he'd OD'd on Viagra, and that his wife was trying to help 'alleviate' the problem. He's now facing charges for misusing the 911 system, and making an obscene or harassing phone call. (Full Story)
A guy in a Missouri gun safety class shot himself in the chest and died. He was right-handed, and was practicing drawing a semi-automatic 9 mm handgun with his left hand, taking the safety off, and shooting . . . a skill that's not required in the classes where you obtain a concealed weapons permit. (Full Story)
According to a new study, most Americans would rather die at home than in a hospital. One in four people died at home in 2007, compared to one in six in 1989. Overall, 40% of people die at hospitals, and 28% of people over 65 die in nursing homes. Happy Tuesday? (Full Story)
NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A Chubby Kid Was Being Bullied by a Skinny Kid . . . So He Picked the Bully Up and Slammed Him to the Ground:
Everyone from Lady Gaga to President Obama has been talking about bullying recently . . . about how it's bad, how it's wrong whether the victim is straight or gay, and how it needs to stop. And they're right. --But there's one anti-bullying measure that no one's really mentioned yet: The Body Slam. There's a video making the rounds online, where a short skinny kid picks on a taller chubby kid, and asks him if he's been quote, "talking [smack]." --Then the bully winds up and CLOCKS the chubby kid right in the face. Probably to impress the two girls behind him. It doesn't seem to have much effect on the chubby guy though. But it does explain what happens next . . . --The kid takes another swing . . . the chubby kid puts him in a headlock . . . lifts him up in the air . . . and SLAMS him to the ground. HARD. And when the skinny kids gets up, he can barely walk. (--Search for "Bullied Kid Snaps." The skinny kid punches him at :04, and gets body slammed at :24.) (--WARNING: This video includes the F-word and S-word.)
Seven Weird Signs You Might Be Stressed Out:
According to the magazine "Prevention", you might be more stressed out than you think. Here are seven random signs you're dealing with too much stress.
#1.) Weekend Headaches. According to the director of the Washington University Headache Center, a sudden DROP in stress can cause migraines. --So if you have bad headaches during the weekend when you're relaxing, it might be because you're NOT stressed out.
#2.) Bad Cramps. A Harvard study found that women are more than twice as likely to have extremely painful cramps when they're stressed out. --Researchers say that exercise is the best remedy, because it helps relieve stress AND menstrual cramps.
#3.) A Sore Jaw. It could be a sign you're grinding your teeth at night, which is often brought on by stress. --If you DO grind your teeth, ask your dentist about trying a nighttime mouth guard. It might make you look like an extra from "Revenge of the Nerds" . . . but mouth guards reduce grinding, or stop it completely, in 70% of patients who use them.
#4.) Bleeding Gums When You Brush Your Teeth. Brazilian researchers analyzed 14 studies, and found that stressed-out people have a higher risk of developing gum disease. --They think that the hormone cortisol . . . which your body produces when you're feeling stressed . . . might impair your immune system and allow bacteria to invade your gums.
#5.) Itchy Skin. A recent Japanese study of more than 2,000 people found that the ones with chronic itch were twice as likely to be stressed out. --Obviously the itching itself caused some of the stress, but the researchers think that feeling anxious also aggravates conditions like dermatitis, eczema, and psoriasis.
#6.) Bad Allergies. Some researchers think that stress hormones stimulate the production of a certain blood protein that causes allergic reactions. --And a 2008 study at Ohio State University found that allergy sufferers had more symptoms after they took a test that was designed to stress them out.
#7.) Stomach Aches. In a study of over 1,900 men and women, the ones with the highest stress levels were more than three times as likely to have abdominal pain. --Doctors aren't sure why, but one theory is that the intestines and the brain share nerve pathways, and when your brain reacts to stress, your intestines follow. --But if you have CHRONIC stomach aches, see your doctor to rule everything else out. You might have an ulcer, food allergies, or irritable bowel syndrome. Or you might be lactose intolerant. (Prevention.com)
Ladies, this one's for you: There might be an USHER sex tape floating around. --Supposedly, someone is shopping a tape featuring Usher and his ex-wife TAMEKA FOSTER. It was shot in happier times, of course. They split up in 2009. --TMZ claims to have seen the tape, and they say it's definitely Usher and Tameka. So far, no one has posted pictures or video from it. --Usher has yet to comment, but Tameka discussed it with her Twitter followers for a while yesterday. And she didn't deny such a tape might exist. In fact, she seemed to CONFIRM it. --First, she said, quote, "NEWSFLASH!! BREAKING NEWS! GUESS WHAT??!! I have copulated w/my husband! O_O. Why is this news again?? #ConfusedTweet. End of discussion." --Later on, she added, quote, "Yes, I can't stress over what I can't change. Hey I was married, happily. So there's a chance that we might . . . It's silly 'news' 2 me." --Then she released a formal statement. Once again, there's no denial. She said, quote, "Yes, I have had sex with my [ex] husband. Multiple times. Would I sanction a sex tape being out? Absolutely not. --"I am a mother and entrepreneur. Sex tapes or pornography would not be my lane. I have no desire to be seen in that way."
Did Ryan Phillippe Accidentally Make a Baby?
RYAN PHILLIPPE'S ex-girlfriend is pregnant . . . and she thinks the baby might be his. Her name is Alexis Knapp. She's 26 years old, and she dated Ryan last year. --She had a minor role in "Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief", and she'll be in MILEY CYRUS' upcoming movie, "So Undercover". --Alexis is due to have a baby in June . . . meaning she was probably fertilized sometime last September. A source says, quote, "She has told friends that the child is Ryan's." --The source adds, quote, "Ryan is aware of the situation and totally prepared to take responsibility should the child be his." There's been no word from either of their reps. (--Here's a picture of Alexis with fetus.) --Ryan may or may not be dating AMANDA SEYFRIED. They're one of those couples the gossip blogs like to break up and put back together on a daily basis.
Random Sheen-Anigans:
#1.) CHARLIE SHEEN and his parasites made a stupid "short film". (Video)
#2.) PETE WENTZ spoke about his divorce from ASHLEE SIMPSON on RYAN SEACREST'S radio show yesterday. Speaking about how grateful he is not to be the big story in showbiz these days, he said, quote, "It's like the one time on Earth I'm like, 'Thank God Charlie Sheen exists.'" (Audio)
#3.) "Goddess" BREE OLSON has lined up her first non-porno flick. She'll appear in a movie called "Mancation", playing the wife of 'N SYNC stud JOEY FATONE. All we know about her part is that Joey comes home and finds her cheating on him . . . with a woman. (Full Story)
Gilbert Gottfried Got Fired As the Voice of the Aflac Duck . . . Because He Tweeted Insensitive Tsunami Jokes:
As the voice of the Aflac insurance duck, GILBERT GOTTFRIED had one of the sweetest gigs in showbiz. --All he had to do was show up to a recording studio every once in a while and shout "Aflac!" into a microphone a few times. And it probably paid him more money than any job he ever had. (--With the possible exception of playing the parrot in "Aladdin".) --But he BLEW IT. He posted a bunch of insensitive tsunami jokes, and Aflac FIRED HIM. --It seems that Aflac does a lot of business in Japan. Not that they wouldn't have canned him anyway. --The company released the following statement . . . quote, "Gilbert's recent comments about the crisis in Japan were lacking in humor and certainly do not represent the thoughts and feelings of anyone at Aflac. --"There is no place for anything but compassion and concern during these difficult times." --There's going to be a nationwide search for the new voice of the Aflac duck. --Here are the insensitive Tweets that got Gilbert fired. (CAREFUL!) There are a dozen of them total . . . --"Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them." --"What do the japanese have in common with @howardstern? They're both radio active." --"Japan had put out this urgent plea...." PLEASE SEND US A FEW BILLION RUBBER DUCKIES!!!!!" --"Japan called me. They said "maybe those jokes are a hit in the US, but over here, they're all sinking." --"I (effed) a girl in Japan. She screamed "I feel the earth move and I'm getting wet." --"My book #rubberBallsAndLiquor was released in Japan. It's making quite a splash." --"What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights." --"I asked a girl in Japan to have sex with me. She said 'okay, but you'll have to sleep in the wet spot.'" --"What do Japanese Jews like to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami." --"I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said 'is there a school in this area.' She said 'not now, but just wait.'" --"My Japanese doctor advised me to stay healthy I need 50 million gallons of water a day." --"I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, 'They'll be another one floating by any minute now.'" (--Gilbert ended up removing the Tweets from his page, but we got some screen shots. Check 'em out here.)
Lindsay Lohan Has Quit Smoking:
Sources tell TMZ that LINDSAY LOHAN has QUIT SMOKING. She reportedly quit cold turkey a week ago, and now she works out with a personal trainer every morning. (--There aren't a lot of times when you can defend smoking, but this might be one of them. I would recommend that Lindsay keep on smoking as much as she wants to.) (--It's probably the best way to ensure that she doesn't fall back into other vices.) (--When someone is giving up several other addictions and making massive life changes, that's often not the time to do battle with nicotine . . . which most people will tell you is the most addictive substance of them all.)
Will Donald Trump Pay Off Richard Hatch's Tax Bill?
Yesterday, RICHARD HATCH began serving a NINE-MONTH prison sentence over his continuing battle with the IRS. And DONALD TRUMP . . . his "boss" on "Celebrity Apprentice" . . . is trying to figure out a way to help. --He says, quote, "It sounds like a very tough predicament. I may ask him if there's anything I can do . . . I may get involved and ask him what the hell is going on." --Trump says that helping Richard pay off his debt would be, quote, "something I'd think about." He adds, quote, "He's been a great character on the show." --Trump won't say how far Hatch gets in the competition. He says, quote, "If he makes it to the finals . . . and I'm not saying he is . . . I'm sure we can get him time off for good behavior." (--If Trump is able to get Richard Hatch out of prison just because he wants him to appear on his TV show, that would send the message that people with money are somehow above the law.) (--And we all know that's not true, don't we?)
Snooki Has a Match at "Wrestlemania" . . . ?
SNOOKI will appear at "Wrestlemania 27" on April 3rd on pay-per-view. And she's not just going to be a lame, token celebrity guest star. SHE HAS A MATCH. --For real: Snooki will team up with women's rasslin' legend TRISH STRATUS and a hot dude named JOHN MORRISON. --Their opponents will be VICKIE GUERRERO, the team of "Laycool" . . . which is made up of two chicks named MICHELLE MCCOOL and LAYLA . . . and DOLPH ZIGGLER. (--Yeah, it's 4-on-3, but don't worry. It's all scripted.) --They set the whole thing up last night on "Monday Night Raw". Snooki was at ringside to watch a match between Stratus and Guerrero. --But when Laycool and Ziggler interfered on Guerrero's behalf, Morrison and Snooki came to Trish's rescue. And Snooki got right into the action. --First, she pulled McCool's foot and made her smack her face on the ring apron . . . then she got into the ring, took down Layla and started banging her head against the mat. (--It was pretty bad-ass. I definitely give Snooki props for going for it. You can watch video here.) --FYWI: For Your Wrestling Information: Vickie Guerrero is the widow of the late, great EDDIE GUERRERO. Eddie died of heart failure in 2005, at the age of 38. It was most likely brought on by years of substance abuse. --Michelle McCool is the wife of THE UNDERTAKER. They got married last June. (--Incidentally, J-WOWW has made appearances for the WWE's weak-sauce competitor, TNA. And former "Jersey Shore" skank Angelina Pivarnick is actually going to start rasslin' for them.)
Matt Damon's "Hereafter" Has Been Pulled From Theaters in Japan . . . Because It Includes a Tsunami:
The MATT DAMON movie "Hereafter" . . . which was directed by CLINT EASTWOOD . . . has been removed from theaters in Japan, because it includes a recreation of the 2004 tsunami in the Indian Ocean. --Obviously, that's not what the Japanese people want to see right now. Coincidentally, the DVD hits the U.S. today. (--You can see the trailer here.)
Check Out a Phony Trailer for "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" That Makes It Look Like One of Those Little Indie Flicks:
Somebody made a fake trailer for "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" that makes it look like one of those little indie flicks that SOFIA COPPOLA or WES ANDERSON would make. (--Check it out here.)
Will Larry King Join "The Daily Show" As a Contributor?
There's some talk online about LARRY KING joining "The Daily Show" as a correspondent . . . but nothing is imminent yet. --Comedy Central "insiders" tell the "Hollywood Reporter" that "the possibility has been discussed" . . . but that "Daily Show" reps have only had ONE conversation with Larry at this point. --If it does end up happening, Larry probably wouldn't be a regular contributor like SAMANTHA BEE or JOHN OLIVER . . . instead he'd have a recurring segment like the ones that LEWIS BLACK and JOHN HODGMAN do. --There's been no official comment from either Larry or Comedy Central.
Tuesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)
--"Glee" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Kathy Griffin and Loretta Devine guest star as Regional competition judges.)
--"Onion SportsDome" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--The 2011 OSNY Awards wraps up the coverage of the first season.)
--"The Biggest Loser" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. (--The remaining chubbies are challenged to make a delicious low-calorie meal, which will be judged by chefs Curtis Stone and Lorena Garcia.)
--"V" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Diana uses Lisa to overthrow Anna as queen. Original "V" star Marc Singer has a cameo.)
--"Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on WE.
--"Detroit 1-8-7" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Michael Imperioli's real son Vadim plays his character's son, when his ex-wife brings him to Detroit for a visit.)
--"The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump" . . . 10:30 P.M. to Midnight on Comedy Central. (--Seth MacFarlane is the emcee and the celebrities who will participate in the roast include Larry King, Snoop Dogg, The Situation, Marlee Matlin, Lisa Lampanelli, Whitney Cummings and Jeffrey Ross.)
--"Four of A Kind" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Lifetime. (--A reality show about four identical sisters in high school.) (Official Site)
NEW ON VIDEO TODAY
--"The Fighter" - Mark Wahlberg plays a guy trying to save a failing boxing career, and Christian Bale plays his brother . . . a former boxer who went the distance against Sugar Ray Leonard before throwing his career away on drugs. It's based on the early years of boxer Mickey Ward, who overcame a broken hand to go 38-13 in his career. Marky Mark does his own boxing in the movie, and also had to learn to fight right-handed, because Ward is a righty but Wahlberg's a lefty.
--"Hereafter" - Matt Damon is a reluctant psychic trying to lead a normal life, despite being able to talk to the dead. Comedian Jay Mohr plays his older brother and Bryce Dallas Howard plays a woman that Matt Damon is dating. The movie's directed by Clint Eastwood and some of it is a little more poignant in the aftermath of what happened to Japan because one of the other main characters is a French chick who survives a tsunami.
--"The Switch" - Jennifer Aniston gets a handsome stud to be a sperm donor so she can have a baby. But then her best friend, Jason Bateman, accidentally spills the goods . . . and replaces the lost man-juice with his own.
--"Spooner" - Matthew Lillard plays a socially awkward guy who needs to learn to grow up after his parents threaten to throw him out by his 30th birthday.
--"BMX Bandits" - a 1983 Australian kids movie starring a 16-year-old Nicole Kidman. She and her two friends find some police-band walkie talkies that were to be used some bank robbers for a heist. Teenage chaos ensues. (Trailer) (Video)
And for the kids. . .
--"Barbie: A Fairy Secret" - A direct-to-video DVD that has nothing to do with the previous "Fairytopia" movies. In this one, Barbie is a movie star who goes on an adventure to rescue Ken after they discover that fairies are living among us. (--Her two best friends turn out to be secret "fashion fairies". One of them draws magical strength from shoes, and the other is a purse fairy. If your kids are of an age where that makes sense, then visit the site for more info.)
TV Series On DVD:
--"Who Do You Think You Are? - Season 1" . . . a two-disc DVD set. The first season included the genealogy of Sarah Jessica Parker, Lisa Kudrow, Brooke Shields, Matthew Broderick, Susan Surandon, Emmitt Smith, and Spike Lee.
--"Coach: Season 4" . . . a three-disc DVD set. (--It ran for nine seasons.)
--"The Virginian: Season 3" . . . a ten-disc DVD set. (--It ran for nine seasons and was the third longest-running western, behind "Gunsmoke" and "Bonanza", which is interesting given that you never learn the main character's name. He only goes by "The Virginian". You can watch the title sequence here.)
NEW MUSIC OUT TODAY
This Week's CD Releases:
--"American Idol: 10th Anniversary: The Hits Volume 1" (--Songs from the nine winners, plus Clay Aiken (who lost to Ruben Studdard in Season 2), Daughtry (Chris was Season 5's shocking elimination), and Adam Lambert (who lost to Kris Allen in Season 8). (--You can see the full track list here.)
--"Give the Drummer Some", Travis Barker (--A ton of rappers appear on this disc, including: Lil Wayne, Rick Ross, Game, Pharrell Williams, Lupe Fiasco, Slaughterhouse, Yelawolf, Kid Cudi and Cypress Hill.)
--"High Maintenance", Miranda Cosgrove (--A five-song EP, paired with a DVD of Miranda in the recording studio and rehearsing for her tour.) (--Miranda turns 18 in May and I guess we're supposed to start taking her a little more seriously now. One of her songs was co-written by Avril Lavigne, and Rivers Cuomo from Weezer wrote the title track.)
--"10", Toby Keith (--A DVD collection of his ten biggest videos.)
TODAY'S NEW VIDEO GAMES
Game Releases . . . Korea Invades The U.S. in "Homefront":
--"Homefront" (M) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and PC. A first person shooter in which you play a member of the American resistance two years after the United States has been invaded and occupied by Korea forces. It's set in the year 2027 and the campaign was written by guy who wrote "Red Dawn" and co-wrote "Apocopate Now". (Launch Trailer)
Multiplayer has 32 players on large maps with drivable tanks and choppers. You can also control a tiny UAV helicopter just like in "Bad Company 2", or a small R/C car like in "Call of Duty: Black Ops". Multiplayer also uses a battle points system, similar to "Black Ops" currency system, which you can then spend on killstreaks and vehicles.
(Multiplayer Trailer)
--"Yakuza 4" (M) . . . on PS3. More hand to hand combat with Japanese mobsters, along with a variety of mini games like pachinko, and karaoke. (Story Trailer) (Careful, it includes the S-Word.) Plus, the game rewards you with a little cleavage once you start beating your female opponent during a naughty table tennis match. (Table Tennis)
--"Top Spin 4" (E) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii. Play tennis against pros like Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Andy Roddick and Serena Williams, as well as legends like Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi and Björn Borg. The game also supports motion control for the PS3-Move and Wii. (Trailer)
--"Fit in Six" (E) . . . on PS3 and Wii. A motion controlled workout, broke down into six main groups: core body, upper body, lower body, cardio, balance and flexibility. Workouts can also be supplemented with additional downloadable routines. (Trailer)
--"Total War: Shogun 2" (T) . . . on PC. The latest "Total War" installment returns to 16th century feudal Japan as you fight to gain control of the country. It uses a combination of real time and turn based strategy to control nine different Japanese clans. And the game AI uses the principles of Sun Tzu's "The Art of War". (Trailer)
ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)
BIEBER FEVER - 1 of 2
Two Teenage Girls Broke Into Justin Bieber's Hotel Room:
Britain's not-always-reliable "Mirror" tabloid says two teenage girls, ages 16 and 18, broke into JUSTIN BIEBER'S hotel room in Liverpool last week. (--This is the same hotel where Justin's fans created a mob scene in the streets.) --The "Mirror" claims the girls got into the room by posing as HOUSEKEEPERS. Justin wasn't there at the time, so the girls occupied themselves by taking pictures of his, quote, "highly personal items." (--We're not sure what that means.) --The girls were eventually discovered when Justin's security walked in on them crawling into his bed. Obviously, they were kicked out . . . and after being told about the situation, Justin opted to sleep in his tour bus that night. --A "source" says that Justin was, quote, "furious." --It doesn't sound like the girls will be punished for the break-in, criminally at least. However, they'll have to live with knowing that they pissed Justin off, which would be a heavy burden for any Justin Bieber fan to bear. (--Not that they're, like, TRUE fans, anyway. REAL fans don't hurt Justin!) (???) --Neither Justin nor his people have confirmed this story.
Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never" Is Now the Second Highest-Grossing Concert Film of All-Time:
JUSTIN BIEBER'S "Never Say Never" movie raked in another $1.4 million last weekend, which brings its five-week box office total to just under $71 million. --That's enough to make it the second-highest-grossing concert film of all time, behind MICHAEL JACKSON'S "This Is It" . . . which made $72.1 million. --For you non-math majors, Justin only needs another $1.1 million to surpass Michael and take over the #1 spot. --"Never Say Never" passed MILEY CYRUS' "Hannah Montana: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour" two weeks ago. She's now in third place with $65.3 million.
Justin Bieber Has Released His "That Should Be Me" Video:
JUSTIN BIEBER has released his "That Should Be Me" video. The video, like the song, features RASCAL FLATTS. (--You can check it out, here.)
Former Social Distortion Drummer Casey Royer Was Arrested for OD'ing in Front of His 12-Year-Old Son:
CASEY ROYER . . . who was SOCIAL DISTORTION'S original drummer . . . has become a STRONG candidate for Worst Dad of the Year. --Yesterday, Casey was charged with child endangerment after allegedly OD'ing on heroin in front of his 12-year-old son. -According to TMZ, Casey and son were watching TV together. But that wasn't something Casey could enjoy sober, so he did some heroin . . . A LOT of heroin. He overdosed, and his son ran to a neighbor to get help. --The cops were called, and Casey was hospitalized. He survived . . . and as of last night, he was still locked up on $120,000 bail. --Oh, and let's hope someone with a head on their shoulders rescued his kid . . . because the police say Casey's house was "littered" with garbage, as well as needles and other drug paraphernalia. (--Casey was only a member of Social D for a year or so, back in the late '70s. Since then, he's played with the punk bands D.I., ADZ and THE ADOLESCENTS. Here's Casey's booking photo.)
Blink-182 Is Auctioning Off Memorabilia to Benefit Victims of the Tsunami in Japan:
BLINK-182 bassist MARK HOPPUS is selling all kinds of personal memorabilia to raise money for the victims of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. --The items include: The orange shirt he wore in their "Dammit" video . . . old backstage passes . . . and Blink-182's dressing room sign from the "MTV VMAs". There's also some original, handwritten lyric sheets. --100% of the proceeds will go to the American Red Cross' disaster relief efforts in Japan. As of last night, the six items Mark posted had bids totaling over $30,000 . . . and all the auctions have at least three more days to go. (--You can browse all the items here.)
Video of Lady Gaga Joining a Lady Gaga Impersonator Onstage:
LADY GAGA performed in Louisville, Kentucky TWICE on Saturday night. The first show was her scheduled arena gig . . . the second one was at a local gay bar, where a Lady Gaga IMPERSONATOR was performing. --The real Lady Gaga joined the impersonator in the middle of "Born This Way". --She came onstage just in time for the "Don't be a drag, just be a queen" chant from the song, which was appropriate since the impersonator WAS a drag queen himself. (--Herself?) --And the real Lady Gaga did not hold back. She did a stage dive, gyrated with her impersonator, and spent a good three minutes performing for the crowd before walking off stage. It's unclear how much of this, if any of it, was planned ahead of time. (--You can find video, here. Note: The audio is VERY ROUGH, so you might want to turn your volume down a little before playing this.) (--Lady Gaga is the one on the left at the beginning of the video . . . although there's no doubt which one is the real Lady Gaga once it shifts to the close-up.)
Jon Bon Jovi Says Steve Jobs and iTunes Have Killed the Music Business:
JON BON JOVI enjoyed discovering and experiencing new albums when he was younger, but he says that adventure is dead to kids today, thanks to iTunes. --Jon explains, quote, "Kids today have missed the whole experience of putting the headphones on, turning it up to 10, holding the jacket, closing their eyes and getting lost in an album . . . --"And the beauty of taking your allowance money [to the record store] and making a decision based on the jacket . . . not knowing what the record sounded like, and looking at a couple of still pictures and imagining it." --He adds, quote, "God, it was a magical, magical time. I hate to sound like an old man now, but I am, and you mark my words, in a generation from now people are going to say: 'What happened?'. --"[Apple CEO] Steve Jobs is personally responsible for killing the music business." (--Well, I'm not sure about that. The digital evolution was going to happen with or without iTunes and the iPod, because it was already happening. And besides, the current model has a lot of pluses for consumers.) (--For instance, it was fantastic when you took a chance on an album based on the artwork, and it turned out to be AWESOME. But when the album SUCKED . . . well, you were out your $7.99, and there was nothing you could do about it.) (--Now, you can listen to a whole album before deciding whether to buy it. Of course, that doesn't give an album a chance to grow on you . . . and a lot of my favorite albums when I was younger had to do just that.) (--But in this economy, I'll err on the side of NOT WASTING MY MONEY ON CRAP . . . especially since the music industry is turning out so damn much of it these days.)
The Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block Are Releasing a *Joint* Greatest Hits Album . . . With Some NEW Music:
The BACKSTREET BOYS and NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK have toured together . . . and now, they're taking their newfound man-love for each other to the next level. --They're doing a JOINT greatest hits album called "NKOTBSB", which of course is a blend of both groups' initials. There will also be a few NEW songs, which they will do together . . . as one single boy band juggernaut. --One of those songs "Don't Turn Out the Lights" will be the first single. --The disc will feature five classic singles by each group. And they're letting FANS decide which tracks make the cut through an online poll at NKOTBSBvote.com. Voting is open from now through NEXT Thursday. (--You can also pre-order the album through that site. If you do it by March 24th, they'll include your name somewhere in the album's packaging.) (--You'll also get an exclusive tour poster and photos, which the 11-year-old version of yourself would have considered SOOOO RADICAL!) --The album comes out on May 24th.
TUESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS
Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond, Dr. John, Tom Waits, Leon Russell and others were officially inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night. The ceremony will air Sunday night on Fuse. (Full Story)
ELLEN DEGENERES' stalker was sentenced to three years' probation, and ordered to stay away from, quote, "both Mrs. DeGeneres'." (Full Story)
A Polish man broke into MADONNA'S London mansion over the weekend by breaking a window. Madonna and her kids were in Michigan at the time, for the funeral of Madonna's grandmother. (Full Story)
RUSSELL BRAND used to smash dead animals onstage and throw them into the audience. (Full Story)
You may not have known this, but TYRA BANKS attends Harvard Business School. (Full Story)
If you had young children, would your conscience allow you to go to an amusement park without them . . . but with your sexy girlfriend instead? ALEX RODRIGUEZ took CAMERON DIAZ to Busch Gardens in Tampa. (Full Story)
Disney has kicked the computer-animated remake of the BEATLES' "Yellow Submarine" to the curb. Director ROBERT ZEMECKIS is free to take the project to another studio . . . but there's no word if he's going to. (Full Story)
We'd heard that TRENT REZNOR had signed on to score AND appear in the movie "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", but apparently it wasn't a done deal yet . . . and now, it's not happening after all. (Full Story)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
March Madness Pools are Only the Second-Most Popular Type of Office Pool:
The NCAA tournament starts on Thursday, so if your office is going to be doing a March Madness pool . . . and you're cool enough to be included . . . the brackets are probably circulating. --A staffing company called Spherion just released the results of a nationwide survey of workers to find out which types of office gambling are the most popular. And even though March Madness gets the most press . . . it only came in SECOND. --Turns out Super Bowl office pools are actually more common. 63% of the people who've participated in an office pool say it was related to the Super Bowl, versus 55% who've done one for the NCAA tournament. --Pooling money together for lottery tickets was the third-most popular type of office gambling. --It's followed by fantasy football . . . World Series pools . . . baby-related pools . . . Kentucky Derby pools . . . award show pools . . . Stanley Cup pools . . . and finally, reality TV show pools. --Overall, 46% of people said they'd participated in a pool. --Of the group that had never participated, the majority said it's because they've never been invited. 13% didn't do it because they felt it was violating company policy . . . and 4% didn't do it because of religious reasons. (PR Newswire)
Al-Qaeda Has Launched a Women's Magazine?
Everything about this story feels like it's one of those fake-news articles from "The Onion". But it's not. --Al-Qaeda has launched a brand new magazine for women, and to sum it up, it's like "Cosmo" for the lady jihadist. --The magazine is called "Al-Shamikha", which translates to "The Majestic Woman". Here's some of the content from the debut issue . . . and again, THIS IS REAL. --A glossy cover featuring purple and pink colors . . . and a machine gun. --Exclusive interviews with the wives of martyrs who gush about their husbands' decision to become suicide bombers. --An advice column for single ladies on "how to marry a mujahideen." That's a Muslim who fights as part of a jihad. --A health column that recommends women don't towel themselves off too forcefully. --And a beauty column that tells women the best way to keep a clear complexion is to STAY INDOORS with their faces covered. --The magazine also says the next issue will contain more tips on skin care . . . plus tips on how to pull off an electronic jihad. (Daily Mail) (--Here's the magazine cover.)
The Average Woman Has 17 Pairs of Shoes . . . And 24% Have Fallen Because of High Heels:
"ShopSmart" magazine just released the results of a survey on women and shoes, and here's the short version: Online shoe buying is in, stripper heels are out, and shoe-related injuries are a very real thing. Now here's the long version . . . --The average woman now owns 17 pairs of shoes, which is down from 19 pairs four years ago. --Of those 17 pairs of shoes, the average woman only regularly wears three of them. --The average woman purchases three pairs a year and spends $49 on each pair. --29% of women shop for shoes online. Four years ago, only 14% of women shopped for shoes on the Internet. --Also, 14% of women have lied to their husband about at least one shoe purchase. --The most popular heel height is . . . no height. 39% of women say their favorite type of shoes are flats. Only 8% of women wear heels that are over two-and-a-half inches. --48% of women have had a shoe-related injury . . . everything from a blister to a break to a sprain. And 24% have actually fallen because of their high heels. (USA Today)
Check Out the 10 Most Counterfeited Products In the U.S.:
If you're wearing a Molex watch right now, wearing Reebuck shoes, and can't wait to get home to watch TV on your brand new high definition Sorny . . . then you're part of this problem. --According to Homeland Security's Customs and Border Protection, hundreds of millions of dollars of counterfeit goods are sold in this country every year . . . some of which fund criminal activities and organized crime. --Here's their list of the top 10 product categories that are counterfeited the most in the U.S.
#1.) Footwear
#2.) Consumer electronics
#3.) Handbags, wallets, and backpacks
#4.) Apparel
#5.) Watches
#6.) Computers and hardware
#7.) Media like DVDs and CDs
#8.) Pharmaceuticals
#9.) Jewelry
#10.) Toys and video games
(Daily Finance)
42% of American Millionaires Say They Don't Feel Rich . . . You Need $7.5 Million To Be Rich:
You know who I feel sorry for today? No, not the Japanese. MILLIONAIRES. Apparently THEY'RE the real victims right now. --According to a survey by Fidelity Investments of more than 1,000 millionaires, 42% of them, or more than two out of five, say they DON'T FEEL RICH. --When the survey asked how much it would take to feel rich, the average came out to $7.5 MILLION. So if you've only got $7 MILLION, you might as well start eating ramen noodles and driving around looking for used furniture. --The average person in the survey was 56 years old and had an average of $3.5 MILLION. --For the survey, people's wealth was based on their investable assets, not counting any real estate or retirement accounts. --Sanjib Mirchandani is the president of National Financial, which is a unit of Fidelity. He says, quote, "Every person in the survey is wealthy. But they are still worried about outliving their assets." (Reuters)
And Now, Three New Things To Worry About:
#1.) Men with Postpartum Depression: Postpartum depression ain't just for the ladies anymore. A study from the University of Michigan found that 7% of new fathers go through a major period of depression after their baby is born. And it gets worse. --Men who suffer from postpartum depression are FOUR TIMES more likely to SPANK their kids . . . and half as likely to read them a story. The researchers say to curb this trend, more men should be screened for postpartum depression. (AOL)
#2.) Your Kids Can Sleep Through the Smoke Alarm: The good news is, your kid's probably a strong sleeper. The bad news is . . . that means he can power right through an emergency. --In a study in Melbourne, Australia, researchers found that 87% of kids ages five to 10 could sleep through a smoke alarm that was under 30 seconds long, as could 56% of kids 11 through 15. (Epoch Times)
#3.) Your Kid's Addicted to the Internet: If you think your kid is too young to discover the Internet . . . he's not. Kids are going straight from the womb to the computer now. --A new report finds that almost 80%, or four out of five, children ages zero to five now use the Internet at least once a week. (Mashable)
In Russia, the Anti-Terrorist Bomb Squad is Called In To Defuse a Ticking . . . Love Toy:
There was a big scare in northwestern Russia yesterday. An anti-terrorism bomb squad was called into a post office when a worker found a package that was TICKING. (--This all went down in a city called Petrozavodsk.) --Russia has been on edge after three different terrorist bombings in the past year. --Thank goodness, this was not a repeat. After the post office was evacuated, the bomb squad investigated the package, and it turns out the bomb was actually . . . a VIBRATING LOVE TOY. (AFP)
50% of Adults Believe the Mind-Erasing Devices from "Men In Black" Are Real . . . And 20% Believe That Light Sabers are Real:
This is a survey out of the U.K., but we get the feeling like it applies pretty well over here too. The bottom line: When it comes to technology from movies, a LOT of people have problems separating the science from the fiction. Check this out: --Almost 50% of adults believe the mind erasing device from "Men In Black" exists. --More than 40% believe hoverboards exist, like the one in "Back To the Future Part Two". Almost 25% believe that teleportation is possible right now. --Almost 20% think you can SEE gravity. And more than 20% believe that light sabers exist. (AOL News)
A Bus in New York Crashed On the Way Back From a Casino, Killing 15 People . . . But Two Survivors Quickly Boarded Another Bus To Go Back and Gamble:
There was a tragic bus crash in New York City on Saturday morning: A group of people were heading home from the Mohegan Sun casino in Connecticut when the bus went off the road and hit a pole that sliced through the top of the bus. --Fifteen of the passengers died, at least one was decapitated, and several people had their arms ripped off. Another seventeen passengers survived the tragedy . . . including two men who are tragic in a WHOLE different way. --Within hours of surviving the crash and watching more than a dozen people die in front of their eyes. . . including friends . . . both of them were on ANOTHER bus BACK to the casino to get in some more gambling. --50-year-old Bernardo Garcia of Brooklyn was one of the survivors. His longtime friend and gambling buddy, Miguel Aquino, died in the crash. Bernardo was treated for minor injuries then headed straight for another bus. --55-year-old Theodore Radulescu from the Bronx was another survivor. He was briefly hospitalized, then ran out of the hospital still in his gown and bloody socks and bought some new clothes on the way back to the bus depot. --Theodore's reasoning for getting right back on a bus? Quote, "When a bomb goes off, it doesn't go off again in the same spot." --Theodore ended up losing $65 that night on video poker. There's no word on how Bernardo did. (New York Post)
An Elementary School Principal Tries To Stop Graffiti . . . By Removing the Bathroom Stall Doors:
I understand what this principal was trying to do. I really do. But in today's climate, you just CAN'T do things like this without the WRATH OF HELL raining down upon you. --Justin Barnes is the principal at Marion Elementary School in Marion, Montana. He was having problems with students vandalizing the bathroom stalls by carving graffiti into them. --So he announced that if the vandalism didn't stop, he was going to REMOVE the doors from the bathroom stalls. He figured that would stop the kids, but it didn't . . . they kept on carving. --So Barnes followed through . . . and removed all of the stall doors in both of the girls' and boys' bathrooms. He did leave one stall door up in each bathroom. --Two weeks went by and Barnes's move worked . . . the graffiti stopped. --But THEN, the parents found out about what was going on. And of course, they flipped out. --At a school board meeting, one parent said it was, quote, "a gross infringement of children's rights. [The Montana Constitution says] the right of individual privacy is essential to the well-being of a free society." --So, after two graffiti-free weeks, the doors went back up. Barnes says that if the graffiti comes back, he'll take the doors down again . . . and deal with the wrath that follows. (Daily Interlake)
Here's the Virgin Mary and Jesus On a Cooking Tray . . . And This One's Actually Pretty Good:
The VIRGIN MARY and JESUS have taken a brief hiatus from showing up in water stains, tree trunks, and pieces of toast to make their first-ever appearance in a new place. --In Mansfield, Massachusetts, burn marks that kinda sorta look like Mary and Jesus showed up on . . . a COOKING TRAY. It came out of an old brick pizza oven owned by Josh Mather, and he says the sight of it changed his life. --He found it last Tuesday and, quote, "I wasn't really a believer [but] I saw this, went on Ash Wednesday and got my ashes. It was the first time in 20 years I walked into church on my own." (NBC 7 - Boston) (--Here's a photo of the cooking tray. Normally we shrug off random holy sightings, but this image is pretty strong.)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS
A Female Cop Pulls Over a Moped Driver and Somehow Manages To Reject His Bribe Offer of $5 . . . a Kiss . . . and Sex:
On Sunday night, a 31-year-old police officer named Christina Rudell from the Indianapolis Metropolitan PD pulled over a man who was driving erratically . . . on a MOPED. --The driver was 22-year-old Adam Yarbrough of Indianapolis. Christina ran his license and found that it was suspended, so she started to write Adam a citation. And that's when he turned on his CHARM. --Adam told Christina she should stop writing the ticket. Quote, "How about we call it even and I give you $5 and you just get rid of this ticket and let me go?" --Christina turned down the bribe, so Adam upped the stakes. Quote, "OK, if you won't take the money, how about I give you a kiss?" --Again, she turned him down. So Adam pulled out the biggest card in his hand. Quote, "I haven't had sex in a while, so how about we do that?" --That DID get Christina to stop writing the ticket . . . so she could arrest Adam for FELONY BRIBERY. --After she did that, he kept making sexual remarks and screaming curse words, so disorderly conduct charges were added on, too. (The Smoking Gun)
A 14-Year-Old Boy Steals a Church Van and Drives It To . . . School?
THIS, my friends, is a perfect example of how much DUMBER today's kids are than we were. Because when we acted like punks and committed crimes, at least we had some kind of genius endgame in mind. --Last Friday, a 14-year-old boy in Gary, Indiana, stole a church van and used it to drive to . . . SCHOOL. Not to a strip club. Not across the state line to Chicago, "Ferris Bueller"-style. Not to Vegas. School. --A police officer was driving behind the van after the kid stole it, but didn't realize there was a 14-year-old behind the wheel until someone pointed it out to him. --The officer followed the van to the West Side Leadership Academy, watched the kid drive the van in a few circles around the parking lot, and then park. --He arrested the boy, who told him he stole the van because he, quote, "didn't want to walk from his home," which was nearby. --The boy's mother said her son must've stolen the keys while he was at choir practice at the church earlier in the week. --The charges against him are still pending. (Northwest Indiana Times)
RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS
Because of the disaster in Japan, Time Warner Cable announced yesterday that all calls to Japan placed by residential Digital Phone and Business Class Phone customers will be free through April 15th. And it applies to all calls placed since March 11th. (Full Story)
A fraternity pledge at the University of Virginia was hospitalized for chugging an entire bottle . . . of soy sauce. He had a seizure and was hospitalized for four days to treat an electrolyte imbalance caused by consuming large amounts of sodium. (Full Story)
The new CEO of Burger King got his business degree in England back in the day . . . and he recently told a group of American students, quote, "The food is terrible and the women are not very attractive." He's since had to apologize. (Full Story)
A three-year-old in the UK has become the youngest person ever to be treated for alcoholism. (Full Story)
A guy in Florida pranked 911 by reporting that he'd OD'd on Viagra, and that his wife was trying to help 'alleviate' the problem. He's now facing charges for misusing the 911 system, and making an obscene or harassing phone call. (Full Story)
A guy in a Missouri gun safety class shot himself in the chest and died. He was right-handed, and was practicing drawing a semi-automatic 9 mm handgun with his left hand, taking the safety off, and shooting . . . a skill that's not required in the classes where you obtain a concealed weapons permit. (Full Story)
According to a new study, most Americans would rather die at home than in a hospital. One in four people died at home in 2007, compared to one in six in 1989. Overall, 40% of people die at hospitals, and 28% of people over 65 die in nursing homes. Happy Tuesday? (Full Story)
NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A Chubby Kid Was Being Bullied by a Skinny Kid . . . So He Picked the Bully Up and Slammed Him to the Ground:
Everyone from Lady Gaga to President Obama has been talking about bullying recently . . . about how it's bad, how it's wrong whether the victim is straight or gay, and how it needs to stop. And they're right. --But there's one anti-bullying measure that no one's really mentioned yet: The Body Slam. There's a video making the rounds online, where a short skinny kid picks on a taller chubby kid, and asks him if he's been quote, "talking [smack]." --Then the bully winds up and CLOCKS the chubby kid right in the face. Probably to impress the two girls behind him. It doesn't seem to have much effect on the chubby guy though. But it does explain what happens next . . . --The kid takes another swing . . . the chubby kid puts him in a headlock . . . lifts him up in the air . . . and SLAMS him to the ground. HARD. And when the skinny kids gets up, he can barely walk. (--Search for "Bullied Kid Snaps." The skinny kid punches him at :04, and gets body slammed at :24.) (--WARNING: This video includes the F-word and S-word.)
Seven Weird Signs You Might Be Stressed Out:
According to the magazine "Prevention", you might be more stressed out than you think. Here are seven random signs you're dealing with too much stress.
#1.) Weekend Headaches. According to the director of the Washington University Headache Center, a sudden DROP in stress can cause migraines. --So if you have bad headaches during the weekend when you're relaxing, it might be because you're NOT stressed out.
#2.) Bad Cramps. A Harvard study found that women are more than twice as likely to have extremely painful cramps when they're stressed out. --Researchers say that exercise is the best remedy, because it helps relieve stress AND menstrual cramps.
#3.) A Sore Jaw. It could be a sign you're grinding your teeth at night, which is often brought on by stress. --If you DO grind your teeth, ask your dentist about trying a nighttime mouth guard. It might make you look like an extra from "Revenge of the Nerds" . . . but mouth guards reduce grinding, or stop it completely, in 70% of patients who use them.
#4.) Bleeding Gums When You Brush Your Teeth. Brazilian researchers analyzed 14 studies, and found that stressed-out people have a higher risk of developing gum disease. --They think that the hormone cortisol . . . which your body produces when you're feeling stressed . . . might impair your immune system and allow bacteria to invade your gums.
#5.) Itchy Skin. A recent Japanese study of more than 2,000 people found that the ones with chronic itch were twice as likely to be stressed out. --Obviously the itching itself caused some of the stress, but the researchers think that feeling anxious also aggravates conditions like dermatitis, eczema, and psoriasis.
#6.) Bad Allergies. Some researchers think that stress hormones stimulate the production of a certain blood protein that causes allergic reactions. --And a 2008 study at Ohio State University found that allergy sufferers had more symptoms after they took a test that was designed to stress them out.
#7.) Stomach Aches. In a study of over 1,900 men and women, the ones with the highest stress levels were more than three times as likely to have abdominal pain. --Doctors aren't sure why, but one theory is that the intestines and the brain share nerve pathways, and when your brain reacts to stress, your intestines follow. --But if you have CHRONIC stomach aches, see your doctor to rule everything else out. You might have an ulcer, food allergies, or irritable bowel syndrome. Or you might be lactose intolerant. (Prevention.com)
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