NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEO'S OF THE DAY (7/31/09)

JUST KIDDING!!

If you liked the wedding video that featured the wedding party dancing down the aisle, then you'll love this parody. Instead of a church, it's a courtroom, and instead of a wedding, it's divorce court.

(--Don't miss the bride throwing the bouquet at 2:50. The entire video is one continuous shot, which makes her dead-on throw even more impressive.) http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1918152 (Search Terms: unexpected divorce intro parody video)-

-Here's the original wedding dance video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0
(earch Terms: JK wedding entrance dance video)

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HEY KID, PULL OVER!

A 7-year-old Utah boy didn't want to go to church, so he stole his father's car, and led police on a low-speed chase. Eventually, the kid led the cops back to his parents' house, then jumped out of the car and made a run for it . . . just like the end of every other car chase you've seen. (--At :26, the boy stops the car, jumps out, and makes a run for it.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1h_krGmcAVk
(Search Terms: sheriff's office chase 7-year-old driver Plain City video)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

A GUY CRASHED INTO A CAR, A HOUSE AND A POOL AFTER TALKING ON ONE PHONE AND TEXTING ON ANOTHER . . . WHILE DRIVING:

You might think that with all the accidents that have been caused by texting while driving, people would get a clue and put down their phones and pay attention to the road. But it doesn't seem like that's happening any time soon.

Here's a case in point . . . -On Wednesday, 25-year-old Nicholas Sparks of Burt, New York was towing a car with his flatbed truck. But instead of focusing on the road, Nicholas was talking on one cell phone and sending a text message on another cell phone when he accidentally slammed into another car, then drove through a fence, sideswiped a house and crashed into a swimming pool.

Nicholas was charged with reckless driving, talking on a cell phone and following too closely. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured. (Yahoo News / WDTN News 2 - Dayton)

(--Check out a photo of Nicholas' truck crashed in the pool. . .)

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CHECK OUT THESE COOL PHOTOGRAPHS OF U.S. SOLDIERS STANDING TOGETHER TO FORM PATRIOTIC SYMBOLS LIKE THE STATUE OF LIBERTY:

At the end of World War One, a couple of photographers named Arthur Mole and John Thomas decided they wanted to take photos of soldiers returning home from the war.

So they traveled from military base to military base and photographed thousands of soldiers standing together in the shape of patriotic symbols like the Statue of Liberty. (Daily Telegraph

(--In know what you're thinking, this doesn't sound that interesting. But, actually, it's pretty cool to see 20,000 soldiers standing together to form these symbols. See for yourself here . . .)

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AND NOW . . . PHOTOS OF UNFORTUNATELY PAIRED BILLBOARDS:

Last night, I was surfing the Internet and came across a website featuring photos of unfortunately paired billboards that, on their own, aren't that funny. --But when you look at them side-by-side, well, put it this way: They really shouldn't have been place next to one another. (Buzzfeed)

(--You really have to see this to appreciate it. Take a look at this nonsense here . . .)http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/15-billboards-that-dont-belong-next-to-each-other/

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THE GOVERNMENT SUSPENDED THE CASH-FOR-CLUNKERS PROGRAM AFTER LESS THAN A WEEK . . . BECAUSE THE MONEY'S ALL GONE:

For weeks, we've heard all about the government's new Cash-for-Clunkers law, which offers rebates of up to $4,500 to anyone who turns in their old gas-guzzler for a new, fuel-efficient car. Well guess what?

Last night, the Department of Transportation officially suspended the Cash-for-Clunkers program less than a week after it started. So what happened? --Apparently, the government set aside about $1 BILLION for the program, which is enough to offer rebates on 250,000 new cars. But it seems that wasn't nearly enough.

According to a spokesman for the National Automobile Dealers Association, quote, "There's a significant backlog of 'Cash-for-Clunkers' deals that make us question how much funding is still available in the program."

In other words, there's a good chance that the Cash-for-Clunkers program is already BROKE. (Google News)

The Cash-for-Clunkers program was supposed to run through the beginning of November, but, it seems that's not happening now. And it's unclear whether more money will be set aside for the program, or whether it's gone for good.

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IT WOULD TAKE YOU 31,000 YEARS TO VISIT EVERY WEBSITE:

According to officials at Google and Microsoft, there are more than 1 TRILLION websites on the Internet. That's about 150 TIMES the number of people on the planet.

Or look at it this way . . . If you were to visit every website in existence, it would take you 31,000 YEARS. And that's if you NEVER took a break to eat or sleep. (!!!) (News.com.au)

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A LOST DOG WAS RETURNED TO ITS OWNER AFTER IT WAS FOUND 1,200 MILES FROM WHERE IT WENT MISSING . . . NINE YEARS AGO:

Nine years ago, Natalie Lampard of Brisbane, Australia (--in the eastern part of the country), gave her daughter, Chloe, a mixed breed dog named Muffy as a gift and, for a while, they were inseparable.

That is until Muffy went missing back in 2000. But get this . . . --Two weeks ago, officials with the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals were investigating an animal cruelty case in Melbourne, which is 1,200 miles from Brisbane, when they FOUND Muffy and identified her using a microchip in her neck.

Natalie says, "I rang my daughter and asked her if she was sitting down, then told her they'd found Muffy. She's over the moon and there'll be a few tears shed when they see each other again. -"But just how [Muffy] got down to Melbourne I guess is a mystery that will never be answered."

Muffy was moved to a shelter where she's being treated for an allergic reaction to fleas, and is expected to be returned to the Lampards on Tuesday. (Yahoo News)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (7-31-09)

TOP STORY!!! PANIC! AT THE DISCO HAVE BROUGHT THEIR EXCLAMATION POINT BACK!!!

If you thought PANIC! AT THE DISCO wouldn't be able to survive losing both a punctuation mark . . . AND two core members . . . you were right. Because the band has just announced that they are bringing their exclamation point BACK.

Panic dropped the exclamation point back in January of last year. The move immediately sent SHOCK WAVES through the rock community. At the time, guitarist RYAN ROSS said he found the exclamation point, quote, "annoying."

Well, he's not in the band anymore . . . so they decided to bring it back. (--Apparently to make the first part of their band name EXCITING again.)

Drummer SPENCER SMITH says there are TWO reasons the exclamation point is back in effect: (1) They want to revisit the, quote, "theatricality" of their earlier days . . . and (2) quote, "It just seemed like it would be a fun thing for our fans." -He adds, quote, "Hopefully, there's less of a big deal [made] about it coming back than there was about it going away. -"It seems like a new chapter, so having that as part of the band seemed like something we could bring back . . . to reinforce that Panic! at the Disco is not breaking up, it's still going."

(--Here's some audio of Spencer discussing punctuation . . .) http://www.mtv.com/videos/news/422845/spencer-smith-tells-story-behind-panic-exclamation-point.jhtml

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LOOK OUT BELOW!

ZAC EFRON went bungee jumping in Canada recently. And yes, it's news. (???) He does do a pretty sweet flip. Check out the video . . .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZR0m4veNLM

"The Fantastic Mr. Fox" . . . based on ROALD DAHL'S book of the same name . . . hits theaters in November. It features the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Owen Wilson, Willem Dafoe and Bill Murray, just to name a few.
(--Here's the trailer . . .) http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810028004/video/14824147

Here's a trailer for the latest COEN BROTHERS flick, "A Serious Man" . . . which hits theaters in October . . .http://www.apple.com/trailers/focus_features/aseriousman/

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***MICHAEL JACKSON MADNESS ***

KATHERINE JACKSON AND DEBBIE ROWE HAVE REACHED AN AGREEMENT:

KATHERINE JACKSON and DEBBIE ROWE have reached an agreement on the custody of MICHAEL JACKSON'S two oldest kids, 12-year-old Prince and 11-year-old Paris. --Katherine retains custody . . . which is what Michael asked for in his will.

Debbie did NOT give up her parental rights . . . and she WILL have some visitation with the kids. --A joint statement from both parties says that the, quote, "timing, frequency and manner of visits shall be implemented according to the best interests of the children."

(--Here's something that was NOT addressed in the statement: Will Debbie visit the kids as THEIR MOTHER . . . or as just a FAMILY FRIEND???) We've heard rumors over the years that the kids never knew Debbie was their mother . . . because Michael didn't want them to know. Do they know NOW??? And if not, are they going to be told??? We have no idea.

Katherine and Debbie will also jointly select and pay for a child psychologist for the kids. The agreement stipulates that Debbie has no parental rights regarding Michael's 7-year-old son Prince Michael the Second . . . a.k.a. "Blanket". Debbie was NOT his biological mother.

The statement very clearly noted that no money changed hands. (--All Debbie ever wanted was for her support to continue to be paid from Michael's estate . . . which is what she and Michael had agreed upon in their divorce.)

Attorneys for both sides also noted that the only consideration in these negotiations was the best interest of the children.

HERE'S WHAT THE COPS WERE LOOKING FOR . . . AND WHAT THEY FOUND . . . WHEN THEY RAIDED DR. MURRAY'S HOME AND OFFICE:

When police and DEA agents raided the home and office of DR. CONRAD MURRAY earlier this week, they were looking for evidence of the anesthetic Propofol . . . the drug believed to have killed MICHAEL JACKSON.

They were also looking for pretty much any documents, records or correspondence mentioning Michael or any of the 19 or so aliases he used to obtain prescriptions. --We don't know specifically what they found . . . but we do have info on some of the things they took with them.

From Dr. Murray's home, they confiscated data from a Dell computer hard drive, a Samsung cell phone, a BlackBerry and an iPhone. --From his office, they took hard drives from four desktop computers . . . data from a flash drive . . . a phone message book . . . binders containing medical supply records and invoices . . . and a CD marked "Omar Arnold" . . . which was one of Michael's drug aliases.

The "Los Angeles Times" claims that the CD contained records of an electrocardiogram Dr. Murray performed on Michael when he was living in Las Vegas a few years back.

HERE ARE THE RULES

FIVE TIPS FOR MAKING A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION:

#1.) EYE CONTACT. If you're trying to show someone you're interested, hold your eye contact a second or two longer than you would with anyone else. Or here's another move: Try making eye contact, looking away, and then looking back.

#2.) BODY LANGUAGE. Body language plays a big role in how others see you, especially in the first few seconds you meet someone. The key to looking approachable is simple: don't cross your arms, and make sure your shoulders are relaxed and back.

#3.) ATTITUDE. Adjust your attitude so that you have a positive mindset. If you're feeling negative, or thinking negative thoughts, that negativity will come out in one way or another in your body language, even if it's unconscious.

-Before you head into a new social situation, try to get into a good mood. Play upbeat music, or whatever you listen to that makes you happy, and tell yourself you're going to have a good time.

#4.) DON'T FIDGET. In general, people who appear calm, cool and collected are more likely to make a better first impression. Try to identify YOUR particular mannerisms . . . like twisting your hair or biting your nails . . . and keep them in check.

#5.) RECOVER. Despite our intentions, we all make mistakes sometimes. If you know you've made a bad first impression, you CAN undo the damage. Just show some self-awareness of what you did wrong during your first meeting.

--So if you were initially short or distracted with someone, explain why, and make an extra effort to listen and interact the second time around. (Happen Magazine)

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***FOUR PICKUP RULES WOMEN WANT MEN TO KNOW***

Some of you guys out there are better at picking up women than others. But I'm about to ruin your secret: It's NOT because you're better looking, smarter, or have more money. It's because you're CONFIDENT and PERSISTENT.

--Here are four other pickup rules women want men to know . . .

#1.) MAKE EYE CONTACT BEFORE YOU WALK OVER. It'll tell you if she's interested or not. If she doesn't look away . . . or if she smiles THEN looks away . . . you've got a shot. But if she avoids eye contact completely, your chances are slim.

#2.) DON'T HIT ON HER FRIENDS. Hitting on more than one woman at a time is usually a deal-breaker. To pick up any woman, you need to make her feel special. And that won't happen if you're slobbering over her friends at the same time.

#3.) DON'T USE PRE-PACKAGED PICKUP LINES. Using a cliché pickup line will do one of two things: It will either make you look like you're trying TOO HARD, or it will make you seem inexperienced . . . which is even worse.

--And there's the very real possibility that she'll assume you're a total jerk.

#4.) KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY. Watch her body language. Is she making eye contact? Does she seem bored by what you're saying? If you've given it your best shot and she's STILL not interested, just cut your losses and move on.

--And even if she DOES seem interested, you shouldn't overstay your welcome. If you leave the conversation on a high note, you'll leave her wanting more. (AskMen.com)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

IF YOU WANT YOUR KID TO RESEMBLE A FAMOUS PERSON, WHY NOT GET FETUSED BY A CELEBRITY LOOK-A-LIKE???

Would you like your kid to resemble a certain famous person like, say, BRAD PITT or KEANU REEVES? If so, you're in luck.

Why? -Because a sperm bank in Los Angeles called the California Cryobank has just announced a new feature on its website that allows clients to purchase sperm from the CELEBRITY LOOK-A-LIKE of their choosing.

The idea is that if you get sperm from someone who resembles a certain celebrity, your kid is more likely to resemble that celebrity as well.

-So which celebs does the California Cryobank offer in its look-a-like donor program?

--RAINN WILSON
--LIONEL RICHIE
--RICK MORANIS
--QUENTIN TARANTINO
--BILL GATES
--BOB SAGET
--CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER . . . and, literally, hundreds of others. (--And, yes, some of them are more attractive than the celebs listed above.)

--According to a company spokesman, quote, "The number one client question we get is: 'Who does this donor look like?' We decided this would be a great way to give thorough and consistent answers. Clients love it." (KTLA News 5 - Los Angeles)

(--You can reach the California Cryobank at 866-927-9622. And take a look at their website here . . .)http://www.cryobank.com/Donor-Search/Look-A-Likes/

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THE BEST CITY FOR SINGLES IS . . . NEW YORK CITY:

Let's face it . . . it's not always easy being SINGLE. But part of it depends on WHERE you live. --With that in mind, here's a list of the ten best cities for singles, based on culture, job growth, cost of living, online dating participation, nightlife, the ratio of singles to the entire population and "coolness". (???)

#10.) Philadelphia #9.) Milwaukee #8.) Los Angeles #7.) San Francisco #6.) Atlanta #5.) Washington, D.C. #4.) Seattle #3.) Chicago #2.) Boston #1.) New York City (Forbes)

(--Take a look at the full list here . . .)http://www.forbes.com/2009/07/27/best-cities-singles-lifestyle-singles-methodology.html

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A SORORITY IS SUING ITS NATIONAL PRESIDENT FOR STEALING $900,000 . . . TO HAVE A WAX SCULPTURE BUILT IN HER LIKENESS???

Last month, eight members of the Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority (--which is one of the oldest black sororities in the U.S.) filed a lawsuit against their national president, a lady named Barbara McKinzie.

The suit claims Barbara misappropriated millions of dollars in sorority funds, including $900,000 she spent to have a WAX SCULPTURE built in her likeness as part of an exhibit at the National Great Blacks in Wax Museum in Baltimore. (Chicago Sun-Times)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (7-30-09)

THE CAST OF "SAVED BY THE BELL" REUNITED . . . FOR THE NEW ISSUE OF "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE . . . BUT SCREECH IS MISSING:

The ALL-STAR cast of "Saved By the Bell" has reunited . . . in print, at least . . . for the new issue of "People" magazine. The cover picture features: Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack) . . . Mario Lopez (A.C. Slater) . . . Lark Voorhies (Lisa) . . . Elizabeth Berkley (Jessie) . . . and Tiffani Amber Thiessen (Kelly). But NOT Dustin Diamond, who played Screech.

The picture APPEARS to be new . . . but we don't know that for sure. The cover also features an inset picture of the cast from 1989 . . . which ALSO doesn't feature Screech. We did a little digging . . . and found out it DID when it was taken.

It's unclear WHY they dropped Screech from the cover. Maybe he wouldn't (or couldn't) take part in the accompanying "reunion" article . . . or maybe "People" purposely left him out.

The issue doesn't hit newsstands until tomorrow . . . so maybe he DID participate in the article inside, but . . . for whatever reason . . . just didn't make the cover.

For what it's worth, JIMMY FALLON has been trying to get the "Saved By the Bell" cast to reunite on "Late Night" . . . and Dustin IS one of the two main cast members yet to agree to the reunion. Tiffani is the other one.

--Coincidentally, Tiffani just shot a Funny Or Die video, where she facetiously explains that she is TOO BUSY to do the reunion. (--Check it out at the link below. ***WARNING***: The clip includes several UNCENSORED S-words.)http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d082b452ae/tiffani-thiessen-is-busy

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JESSICA SIMPSON IS GOING ON A REVENGE DIET:

I have a feeling that more than a few of you ladies can sympathize with this: After being dumped by TONY ROMO, JESSICA SIMPSON is going on a REVENGE DIET. A so-called "source" says, quote, "Right after Tony ended things, Jessica said, 'I want my old body back.' She went into her kitchen, got a trash bag and started to clear it out."

Jessica has also been seen hitting the gym pretty hard since the breakup. She was able to drop 10 pounds in just the first 10 days. Her friend says, quote, "Jess is serious about getting her body back into fighting shape. Working out is helping to give her focus and clear her head. It's better than sitting around moping or throwing pity parties with ice cream sundaes. "She doesn't want to give anyone more reason to not take her seriously. She's tired of weight being a talking point."

For what it's worth, the new issue of the "Star" wants you to believe Jessica made Tony mad by flirting with KENNY CHESNEY, right in front of his face, at a 4th of July party . . . just days before their July 9th breakup. (--Here's the cover pic . . .)

--Kenny says that's NOT true. He told "People" magazine, quote, "Tony's a friend, and I wouldn't flirt with a buddy's girlfriend. More importantly, Jessica was just being sweet and there was nothing else to it . . . I talked to a bunch of guests, hung out, had a good time."--Meanwhile, "Us Weekly" says that Tony is already semi-serious with another girl. Her name is Natalie Smith, and she's the daughter of John Smith, one of the athletic directors at Eastern Illinois University . . . where Tony went to school. --They've known each other for a while . . . and Tony even brought her to one of Jessica's shows back in February.

Tony and Natalie have supposedly been having a, quote, "emotional affair" for several months . . . and while they're not officially dating, they might be FORNICATING. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "They're having an intimate relationship. They've always flirted and texted each other. They had phone conversations one to two months before the breakup." --But we already have a denial for THIS relationship, too. John Smith has issued a statement denying that Tony is erotically pounding his daughter. He says, quote, "His breakup brought all these rumors and stories and it is not true. Natalie feels so bad."

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CHECK OUT A PICTURE OF A GIRL LUNGING AT JOHN MAYER'S CAR TO PUT HER NUMBER UNDER HIS WINDSHIELD WIPER:

Every woman I talk to tells me she thinks JOHN MAYER is a MAJOR KNUCKLEHEAD. So apparently, for every woman I talk to, there are 10 more out there who desperately want to hook up.

Check out this picture of a girl lunging at John's car so she can plant her digits under his windshield wiper . . .

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WE WON'T SEE ANY AUTOPSY RESULTS UNTIL *NEXT* WEEK:

The L.A. County Coroner's Office had been planning to release the results of MICHAEL JACKSON'S autopsy this week. But now they've pushed it back to NEXT week. --Officials wouldn't give a reason for the delay . . . but it could have something to do with the fact that the LAPD's investigation into Michael's death is still very much active.

Just yesterday, police raided the Beverly Hills offices of another doctor, Lawrence Koplin. --Michael's dermatologist, Dr. Arnold Klein, has reportedly performed procedures on Michael at Dr. Koplin's office.

TMZ claims the authorities were looking for the records of Koplin's nurse anesthetist, David Fournier. He's the one who knocked Michael out so Klein could work on him. (--Various sources over the past few weeks have painted Michael as an "anesthesia junkie", who demanded to be fully sedated for even the simplest procedures.)

TMZ also says that authorities are currently looking into the fraudulent prescription practices of more than a DOZEN doctors in connection with Michael's death . . . and, quote, "that number could easily double."

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RACHELLE LEFEVRE SAYS SHE WAS BASICALLY FORCED OUT OF THE "TWILIGHT" FRANCHISE: Not surprisingly, RACHELLE LEFEVRE has a much different take on the events that led to her departure from the "Twilight" franchise. Basically, she feels she was SQUEEZED OUT.

Rachelle played Victoria in the first flick and the upcoming sequel, "New Moon". But earlier this week, the producers announced that she had to bow out of the third movie, "Eclipse", due to a scheduling conflict.

They also announced that BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD would be taking her place. --Well, Rachelle says this "scheduling conflict" was BULL. --She issued a statement yesterday saying, quote, "I was stunned by Summit Entertainment's decision to recast the role of Victoria for 'Eclipse'. I was fully committed to the 'Twilight' saga, and to the portrayal of Victoria. -"I turned down several other film opportunities and, in accordance with my contractual rights, accepted only roles that would involve very short shooting schedules."

Rachelle said she's shooting a movie right now, but she's only scheduled for 10 days of filming. Meanwhile, the shooting schedule for "Eclipse" is over three months long. --But Summit basically told her that 10 days was too much of an overlap, and they recast the part . . . even though they'd already picked up her option for the third film.

Rachelle added, quote, "I am greatly saddened that I will not get to complete my portrayal of Victoria for the 'Twilight' audience. This is a story, a theatrical journey and a character that I truly love and about which I am very passionate.

"I will be forever grateful to the fan support and loyalty I've received since being cast for this role, and I am hurt deeply by Summit's surprising decision to move on without me. I wish the cast and crew of 'Eclipse' only the very best."

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KARA DIOGUARDI WILL BE BACK ON "AMERICAN IDOL":

E! Online says KARA DIOGUARDI WILL return to "American Idol" next season. They quote a fairly confident "source" who EMPHATICALLY says, quote, "Her deal is done. There are no ifs, ands or buts. Done. She will be back."

Obviously, this ISN'T good news if you HATED the four-judge format . . . OR if you're PAULA ABDUL. Speaking of Paula, there's STILL no update on her contract negotiations . . . but you have to think that she'll end up being back, too. (--Even if they don't give her what she wants, they'll be offering her a helluva lot more than anyone else probably would.)

YOUR CREDIT SCORE

***FOUR CREDIT SCORE MYTHS***

When it comes to your credit score, you probably understand the basics . . . If you pay bills on time, you'll have better credit. But it's more complicated than that, and not everything you've heard is true. Here are four credit score myths most people believe . . .

1.) CHECKING YOUR CREDIT SCORE WILL MAKE IT GO DOWN. There are two types of credit checks: soft and hard. A hard check is done by a potential creditor . . . like a bank, a credit card company, or a car dealership.

--A hard check DOES lower your credit. But a SOFT credit check . . . which is what you do on www.FreeCreditReport.com . . . doesn't.

2.) HAVING TOO MANY CREDIT CARDS WILL HURT YOUR CREDIT SCORE. It's not true. You just shouldn't APPLY for a new card too often, because each time a potential lender runs a hard credit inquiry, your score goes down.

--But HAVING a bunch of cards doesn't hurt your score at all. And consider this . . . when you CANCEL a card, your credit score can drop by as much as 150 points.

3.) YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR CARDS TO BUILD MORE CREDIT. At some point, you were probably told to use your credit card once a month, then pay it off immediately. But in reality, maintaining a ZERO balance is actually better.

4.) IF YOU PAY YOUR UTILITIES ON TIME, YOUR SCORE WILL GO UP. Sadly, utility bills can only make it go DOWN. Paying things like cable, phone, gas, and electric bills on time won't help your credit score. But LATE payments WILL hurt it. (AskMen.com)

DRIVIN' ME CRAZY

PEOPLE WHO TEXT WHILE DRIVING ARE 23 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO CRASH:

According to a new study from the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute, drivers who dial their cell phone while driving are SIX TIMES more likely to get into an accident. And drivers who send text messages while driving are 23 TIMES more likely to get into an accident. (WFTV News 9 - Orlando)

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A TEN-MILE-PER-HOUR INCREASE IN SPEED REDUCES YOUR GAS MILEAGE BY FOUR MILES PER GALLON:

If you're trying to save money on gas, there's a really simple thing you can do: Slow down.

At least that's according to a new study by General Motors, which found that for every TEN-mile-per-hour increase in speed, gas mileage is reduced by FOUR miles per gallon.

Overall, that's the equivalent of a 54-CENT increase in the price of gas per gallon. (--So if you're going 80 instead of 60, your gas mileage is reduced so much that it's as if you were paying $1.08 more per gallon.) (AOL Autos)

THIS IS GETTING KIND OF "CHEEKY"

A SWIMMER WON A RACE . . . EVEN THOUGH HIS SUIT HAD TORN OPEN AND EXPOSED HIS BACKSIDE:

On Sunday, American Ricky Berens was stretching before his leg in a freestyle relay race at the World Swimming Championships in Rome when the back of his swimsuit RIPPED open . . . exposing his backside for everyone to see.

But Ricky competed anyway, and his team went on to win the race. (--If Ricky's name sounds familiar, it's probably because he won a gold medal at the Beijing Olympics in the 4 by 200 meter freestyle relay, along with MICHAEL PHELPS.)

And guess what? The exact same thing that happened to Ricky on Sunday also happened to an Italian swimmer named Flavia Zoccari last month. Check out photos of both their wardrobe malfunctions below. . .)(Fan House)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (7-29-09)

HE INVENTED "MR. MICROPHONE"!

ASHLEY TISDALE says she's worthless in the kitchen. Which is bizarre, given her ancestry. Ashley admits that her grandfather is Arnold Morris . . . the man who developed Ginsu Knives . . . and her great-grandfather invented the plastic cheese grater.

And if that's not enough for you, RON POPEIL is her cousin. (--Ron Popeil is the KING of as-seen-on-TV merchandise. He invented and pitched so much AWESOME stuff . . . and not just for the kitchen, either. Anybody remember MR. MICROPHONE??? Yep, that was him!!!)

(--Check out a list of Ron Popeil's many VITAL inventions here . . .) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Popeil#Inventions

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COPS RAIDED DR. CONRAD MURRAY'S HOME AND OFFICE YESTERDAY:

DR. CONRAD MURRAY is looking more and more like a suspect in MICHAEL JACKSON'S death every day. Yesterday, police and Drug Enforcement Agency officials raided his home and office in Las Vegas. --No one would say specifically what they were looking for . . . aside from, quote, "documents".

Dr. Murray's attorney admitted that they were seeking files related to Michael Jackson and the many aliases he used to obtain prescription drugs. --The "Los Angeles Times" claims they were searching for medical records under 19 different names. --Those names included Josephine Baker . . . (--A legendary African-American entertainer and sex symbol who died in 1975) . . . Jackson employee Frank Tyson . . . and even Michael's own son Prince. --Michael also used the name of author Jack London . . . and one of his personal favorites, Omar Arnold. (--Police reportedly found medical records for this fictional Omar Arnold character in the offices of Michael's dermatologist, Arnold Klein.)

This is the second time in less than a week that cops have served warrants on Murray's property. Last week, they hit up his clinic in Houston, and a storage facility in that city. (--That's the same storage facility where two of Murray's employees allegedly removed boxes of files on the morning of Michael's death.)

Dr. Murray was home at the time of yesterday's raid, but he kept out of sight of neighbors . . . as well as the reporters who began swarming around his house. --The search lasted much of the day. Police arrived at Murray's home and office at 8:00 A.M. local time. They finished up at the house by around noon, but were still at his office several hours later. (--Here are some very uninteresting pics from the raid . . .) http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/conrad_murray_raid#48045

CHECK OUT SOME VIDEO OF MICHAEL JACKSON AND HIS KIDS:

Britain's "Sun" tabloid posted some video of MICHAEL JACKSON celebrating the early birthdays of his two oldest kids, Prince and Paris. --Michael seems to be a pretty good dad, except for the part where he laughs as Bubbles the Chimp crawls on Prince's face. (???) http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2560221/Stunning-footage-shows-Michael-Jackson-and-his-kids.html

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ROBERT PATTINSON DOESN'T KNOW WHY GIRLS LOVE HIS "TWILIGHT"

CHARACTER:

There's no doubt that chicks dig ROBERT PATTINSON'S vampire character from the "Twilight" movies, Edward Cullen. But he can't figure out why.

He said, quote, "Being a guy, you always just look at girls and think, 'why are you with that guy?' -"With virtually anyone the nice guys always seem to come last. You always get weirdos like Edward who seem to attract women for some reason.
-"If Edward wasn't a fictional character and you met him in reality he is like one of those guys who would probably be an axe murderer or something."

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THE HOGANS HAVE SETTLED THEIR DIVORCE:

Two years after the battle began, HULK and LINDA HOGAN finally reached a divorce settlement yesterday. The terms were not disclosed. But everyone appears to be happy. Hulk and Linda greeted each other in court with kisses on the cheek.

After the hearing, Linda told reporters, quote, "The war is over. I still love him. He's the father of my children." --Later, she released a statement saying, quote, "My husband took the big step of stopping this escalating war by making the decision to put this behind us. I am grateful to him for realizing that our family can be happier and stronger by working together.

"He and I both love our family dearly and look forward to working together to make it stronger than it has ever been. My family means the world to me."

(--That actually sounds like a little bit of a DIS, doesn't it??? Linda's basically saying that everything was Hulk's fault, and she's happy that he finally came to his senses.) --Hogan told reporters, quote, "I'm a free man."

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BRETT FAVRE IS STAYING RETIRED . . . FINALLY:

BRETT FAVRE has finally decided to call it a career. He phoned Minnesota Vikings head coach BRAD CHILDRESS yesterday to tell him he won't be joining the team.

Brett told ESPN, quote, "It was the hardest decision I've ever made. I didn't feel like physically I could play at a level that was acceptable. I would like to thank everyone, including the Packers, Jets and Vikings . . . but, most importantly, the fans."--Last year, Favre retired from the NFL after 17 seasons . . . 16 of them with the Green Bay Packers. (--Brett was drafted by the Atlanta Falcons and spent his first year on their roster.)

Then he did an about-face and decided to UN-RETIRE, after Green Bay had already moved on. After a protracted battle that alienated the team and a lot of Brett's fans, Green Bay allowed Brett to be traded to the New York Jets. --Then he retired AGAIN . . . and had surgery on a torn biceps tendon . . . before once again considering a return to the league.

If he'd signed with the Minnesota, he probably would have lost his last remaining fans in Wisconsin . . . since the Vikings are a direct rival of the Packers in the NFC North.

MEN BREAKING THE HABIT

***FIVE MANLY THINGS GUYS USED TO DO***

Guys, we've come a long way in the last 50 years, and we've broken a lot of bad habits. But maybe some of those habits SHOULDN'T have been broken. Here are five manly things guys USED to do, but don't do anymore . . .

1.) DRINKING LIKE A MAN. Men used to order things like single malt Scotch, Irish whisky, and bourbon. A guy knew his drink, and he got it with a splash of soda or a few cubes of ice. These days, men drink like cast members on "Sex and the City".

2.) GETTING A SHAVE. Guys, when was the last time you had someone ELSE shave your face? It used to be common. But now, every time an extra blade is added to the newest Gillette razor, getting a professional shave becomes less and less necessary.

3.) BEING A HANDYMAN. Years ago, it didn't matter what a guy's job was . . . on Sunday, he was a handyman . . . and he could fix almost anything. But for most men today, the first step for fixing a leaky faucet is to call a plumber.

4.) HAVING A *REAL* GUYS NIGHT OUT. Young guys think it means doing keg stands all night. But it used to be men of ANY age could make a reservation at the Chop House, have a classy dinner with the crew, then see where the night took them.

5.) FIGHTING FAIR. We're not endorsing fighting. But at least when men USED to fight, they fought fair. Two guys would square off in a parking lot, and they didn't have to worry about anyone else ganging up on them. -But today, if you shove a guy at a bar, you can count on a beat down from six or seven of his buddies. (AskMen.com)

WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS

THE TALLEST MOTORCYCLE IN THE WORLD IS OVER 11 FEET TALL:

Gregory Dunham is from Stockton, California. And yesterday he was out riding his motorcycle when it started leaking antifreeze, broke down and caused a traffic jam that backed up cars for miles.

Now, you might be wondering how a broken down motorcycle could cause such an intense traffic jam. Well, it's because Gregory's motorcycle, called The Monster, isn't just any old motorcycle.

In fact, at 11-feet three-inches tall . . . 20-feet four-inches long . . . and 6,500 pounds, The Monster, is the LARGEST RIDEABLE MOTORCYCLE in the world.

It took Gregory three and a half years to build The Monster and cost him more than $300,000. The Monster's tires alone are more than six-feet tall. (KCRA News 3 - Sacramento / KXTV News 10 - Sacramento)

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MOUSE TRAP - FOR HUMANS?

Remember the board game "Mouse Trap"? Check out this life-sized version someone built in their backyard.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1917900
(Search Terms: life-sized mouse trap video)

SILLY NEWS

BILL CLINTON ATE MASS QUANTITIES OF FAST FOOD . . . BEFORE SPEAKING AT AN OBESITY PREVENTION CONFERENCE:

Yesterday, BILL CLINTON spoke at the first annual "Weight of the Nation" conference in Washington, D.C., which is an OBESITY PREVENTION event hosted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Anyway, in preparation for his speaking engagement, Clinton hit up a fast food restaurant on Saturday night where he ordered a double burger, onion rings, French fries and an apple-pie milkshake. (--Yep, way to set a good example as always, Bill.) (ABC News)

(--It's rumored that Clinton charges up to $350,000 for speaking engagements . . .)

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APPLEBEE'S IS BEING SUED FOR LYING ABOUT THE FAT AND CALORIE CONTENT ON ITS WEIGHT WATCHERS MENU:

If you've ever gone on a diet, then you know just how difficult it can be to find something to eat when you go out to a restaurant . . . which is exactly why Applebee's and Weight Watchers decided to collaborate on a special low-calorie, low-fat menu.

Unfortunately, according to an independent study, certain items on Applebee's Weight Watchers Menu aren't nearly as healthy as they'd like you to think.

In fact, some of the dishes on the Weight Watchers Menu contain as much as TWO TIMES the number of calories advertised, and as much as EIGHT TIMES the fat.

Now, law firms in Kansas, Washington, New York and Illinois have filed a class-action lawsuit against Applebee's and Weight Watchers on behalf of the MILLIONS of people who've eaten off the Applebee's Weight Watchers Menu in the last four years.

For what it's worth, officials for Applebee's swear they've done nothing wrong, and say that it's impossible to always prepare every dish the exact same way, with the exact same amount of calories and fat. -And Weight Watchers has released a statement saying they're standing by Applebee's. The case is expected to go to trial sometime next year.

But, really, just how big of a deal is this? Well, think about it THIS way: --If you ordered the Weight Watchers Grilled Shrimp Skewer Salad, you might think you were only taking in 210 calories and TWO grams of fat. And that MIGHT be the case. -But, according to the study, there's also a chance you could be taking in as much as 420 calories and 16 grams of fat.

And if you ordered the Weight Watchers Italian Chicken and Portobello Sandwich, you might think you're only taking in 360 calories and SIX grams of fat. --But, according to the study, you could actually be taking in as much as 720 calories and 48 grams of fat. It's a big difference. (Scripps News / Wallet Pop / eHow)

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THERE'S A SUMMER CAMP FOR KIDS WITH TOURETTE SYNDROME CALLED . . . "CAMP TWITCH AND SHOUT"???

You know what Tourette syndrome is, right? It's a neurological disorder that causes people to make certain noises, tics and, sometimes, curse uncontrollably. --Anyway, it turns out there's a summer camp in Winder, Georgia that's just for kids with Tourette syndrome, and that's great.

But for some reason, they decided to call the camp . . . get this . . . Camp Twitch and Shout. 35-year-old Brad Cohen is the director of Camp Twitch and Shout, and a Tourette sufferer himself. He says, quote, "I remember eating lunch at school all by myself and the mean kids would parade around me and mock my noises. --"My teacher made me get up in front of the class and apologize to everybody for the noises I was making . . .

"When the [kids] have tough times and they think they can't find success, it's our goal that they will think back to their experience at Camp Twitch and Shout and say, 'You know what? I can do it. I can be successful because I did it at camp.'" (CNN)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (7-28-09)

JOE JONAS AND CAMILLA BELLE HAVE BROKEN UP:

JOE JONAS and CAMILLA BELLE have broken up. We don't have details yet, but Camilla's rep released a statement yesterday saying, quote, "Yes, it's true, they have broken up. There is no third party involved, and they care deeply about each other and will remain friends."

There's some real justice in all this for TAYLOR SWIFT. As you may recall, Joe dumped Taylor for Camilla, after Camilla starred in the Jonas Brothers' "Lovebug" video. Once Joe and Camilla started dating, Joe wrote the song "Much Better" . . . which is about a girlfriend who's MUCH BETTER than the previous girlfriend.

Fans who've seen the Jonas Brothers in concert recently say that Joe has been changing a line in "Much Better" from "Get a rep for breakin' hearts, now I'm done with superstars" . . . to "Get a rep for breakin' hearts, now I'm done with MOVIE stars." --On Sunday night, during the Jonas Brothers' gig in Detroit, Joe actually CRIED onstage. But oddly enough, it was during the song "I Gotta Find You" . . . not "Much Better".

(--Here's video. Note the screaming girls who almost seem EXCITED that Joe is crying . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOGEBvKMU6A

(--And here are some pictures . . .)

(--Here's video of "Much Better" from the same night. At this show, Joe did NOT change "superstars" to "movie stars" . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkwftX9gPrA

Camilla has been seen publicly in recent months with Spanish tennis player FERNANDO VERDASCO . . . but we don't know if there was ever anything going on there other than friendship.

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DAKOTA FANNING AND FREDDIE HIGHMORE WENT ON A DATE:

DAKOTA FANNING went on a date Saturday night with FREDDIE HIGHMORE . . . who played Charlie in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". They went to a restaurant called Il Cielo in Beverly Hills. Dakota is 15 . . . Freddie is 17. --This was seriously cute. Check out the pictures . . . http://x17online.com/celebrities/dakota_fanning/x17_xclusive_date_night_for_dakota-07262009.php

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AUTHORITIES SAY DR. CONRAD MURRAY *DID* GIVE MICHAEL JACKSON PROPOFOL:

The Associated Press reports that DR. CONRAD MURRAY was indeed giving MICHAEL JACKSON the potent anesthetic Propofol to help him sleep . . . including the dose that allegedly killed him.

The LAPD is investigating Michael's death as a possible MANSLAUGHTER . . . and Murray is the target. Dr. Murray's attorney continues to claim that Murray gave Michael nothing that could have killed him. But the attorney declined to comment on this latest allegation.

Meanwhile, TMZ is taking this even further. They say that when Dr. Murray spoke with police two days after Michael's death, he ADMITTED to them that he gave Michael an IV drip of Propofol hours before he died. --Supposedly, multiple "law enforcement sources" have told TMZ that they believe Murray set up the drip, and then failed to properly monitor Michael. --Supposedly, there's even talk that Murray FELL ASLEEP while Michael was under sedation . . . and when he woke up, Michael was dead. (!!!)

It's highly irregular to administer a drug like propofol without an EKG, which sounds an alarm when the patient's pulse gets too low. Investigators did not find an EKG when they searched the house.

These sources say that when the paramedics arrived at Michael's house, they found Michael with an IV in his arm, an IV stand nearby with an empty bag on it and an oxygen tank. --They also claim that Murray was acting strangely. A "source" says he was being difficult and, quote, "getting in the way" of the paramedics.

(--Do you think Michael Jackson deserves the Nobel Peace Prize??? His fans do. There are two separate online petitions trying to make it happen. Check 'em out . . .)
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/mjfornobelpeaceprize/
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/mjnobelpeaceprize/

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LOHAN DRAMA

This is getting really, REALLY pathetic: LINDSAY LOHAN sat on SAMANTHA RONSON'S front stoop for TWO HOURS the other day waiting for her. When Sam finally arrived at 5:00 A.M., Lindsay started fighting with her about where she'd been. (--Here's the video . . .) http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=c8539dcf-f4b2-4aef-af49-78ccb44aee6f

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BEYONCÉ IS THE TOP-EARNING MUSIC STAR UNDER 30:

"Forbes" has put together a list of The Top-Earning Young Musicians, which ranks "music artists" under the age of 30, based on how much money they earned in the past year.

BEYONCÉ topped this year's list . . . raking in an estimated $87 million in that period. (--The earnings numbers include income from album sales . . . touring . . . endorsement and licensing deals and acting gigs in movies or on TV.)

--Here's the Top 10 . . . along with their estimated earnings and their ages:
#1.) BEYONCÉ, $87 million (--She's 27.)
#2.) BRITNEY SPEARS, $35 million (--She's 27.)
(TIE) #3.) MILEY CYRUS, $25 million (--She's 16.)
(TIE) #3.) The JONAS BROTHERS, $25 million (--KEVIN is 21 years old . . . JOE is 19, but turns 20 next month . . . and NICK is 16 years old.)
#5.) JESSICA SIMPSON, $20 million (--She's 29 . . . and lonely.)
(TIE) #6.) LIL WAYNE, $18 million (--He's 26.)
(TIE) #6.) TAYLOR SWIFT, $18 million (--She's 19.)
(TIE) #8.) RIHANNA, $15 million (--She's 21.)
(TIE) #8.) T-PAIN, $15 million (--He's 25.)
#10.) CARRIE UNDERWOOD, $14 million (--She's 26.)

(--For more information, hit up the "Forbes" link below. If you click on the "In Pictures" link, you'll access a slideshow with their write-ups on each artist.) http://www.forbes.com/2009/07/24/beyonce-britney-spears-miley-cyrus-business-entertainment-young-musicians.html

(--"Forbes" is cranking these lists out at an INSANE clip these days. Perhaps tomorrow they'll post their "Top Earning Musicians who are Between the Ages of 31 and 38 . . . Left-Handed . . . and Have Never Cheated at Mini-Golf" list.)

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KELLY CLARKSON IS UPSET . . . BECAUSE THE CO-WRITER OF HER NEW SINGLE GAVE THE SAME BACKING TRACK TO BEYONCÉ:

KELLY CLARKSON is making waves with her record label again . . . this time because they released her song, "Already Gone", as a single WITHOUT her blessing.

Why did Kelly object? Because she just found out that parts of the song sound EXACTLY like BEYONCÉ'S single, "Halo" . . . and there's a good reason for that. --ONEREPUBLIC singer RYAN TEDDER co-wrote BOTH tracks . . . and Kelly says he gave both singers the same "backing track." (--Specifically, both songs use very similar piano and drum parts, with added hand-claps.)

In an interview, Kelly says she didn't know about the similarities between the songs until recently, when she heard both songs back-to-back. --But now that she has, she's FURIOUS. She says, quote, "No one's gonna be sittin' at home, thinkin' . . . 'Man, Ryan Tedder gave Beyoncé and Kelly the same track to write to.' No, they're just gonna be sayin' I ripped someone off.

"I called Ryan and said, 'I don't understand. Why would you do that?'" (--She didn't say how he responded. And he hasn't publicly commented on any of this yet.)

Kelly says she was trying to stop "Almost Gone" from being released as a single out of respect for Beyoncé . . . but the label went ahead with it anyway.

She adds, quote, "It sucks, but it's one of those things I have no control over. I already made my album. At this point, the record company can do whatever they want with it. It's kind of a (crappy) situation, but . . . you know, you learn."

The MOST frustrating thing for Kelly . . . is that she believes SHE should have had dibs on the track. She says her album, "All I Ever Wanted", was finished before Beyoncé's disc, "I Am . . . Sasha Fierce". But Beyoncé's album . . . and her "Halo" single . . . both dropped before Kelly's album, which makes it sound like SHE'S the copycat. (--Naturally, someone has already uploaded a YouTube video comparing the two songs. Here's the link . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImxR1K5-om4

ITCH ITCH ITCH

HERE ARE TEN HOUSEHOLD ITEMS THAT CAN BE USED TO SOOTHE MOSQUITO BITES AND SUNBURNS:

Well, it's the middle of summer, and that means you've probably spent the past month or two dealing with your fair share of SUNBURNS and MOSQUITO BITES.

--With that in mind, here are ten household items that can be applied to your skin to soothe sunburns:#1.) Cucumbers #2.) Oatmeal #3.) Fresh pickles (???) #4.) Dairy products such as milk and yogurt #5.) Green tea (--just make sure it's cooled down) #6.) Strawberries #7.) Potatoes #8.) Eggs #9.) Corn starch #10.) Lettuce

--And here are ten household items that can be applied to your skin to soothe mosquito bites:
#1.) Toothpaste #2.) Epsom salt #3.) Ice cubes #4.) Honey #5.) Lemons #6.) Ammonia #7.) Milk #8.) Baking soda #9.) Tea (--again, make sure it's cooled down) #10.) Garlic (AOL Health)

(--You can learn more about all of these household remedies here . . .)http://www.aolhealth.com/health/summer-health/how-to-soothe-a-sunburn

HOW BIZARRE NEWS (07/27/09)

NON-FAT CHOCOLATE

A bar of chocolate has been created that can be eaten while you diet. Its makers claim it has 90% fewer calories than a normal bar and doesn't melt as easy as every day chocolate.

Swiss chocolatier Barry Callebaut has named his secret ingredient "Vulcano" because it can withstand heat up to 130 degrees.

A spokesman claims: "Our engineers stumbled upon the technique by accident. "It's nice and chocolatey with a strong aroma. It does melt in the mouth but it is the enzymes in saliva rather than the heat that cause it to dissolve."

The company hope to sell Vulcano to Cadbury's and Nestle and It could be used in their bars within two years.

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GUYS ARE MORE AFRAID OF GETTING MARRIED THAN JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE???

Ladies . . . if you're wondering why your guy still hasn't popped the question, THIS might have something to do with it . . .

A new survey found that men are more afraid of PROPOSING MARRIAGE than they are of . . .

#1.) Going on an important job interview

#2.) Wearing the visiting team's jersey to a sports event

#3.) Or jumping out of an airplane

-In fact, the only thing guys find scarier than getting married is . . . SWIMMING WITH SHARKS. On the other hand, 56% of women say they'd be more than happy to propose to their boyfriend if he was too afraid to do it. (--So I suppose women are braver than men???)

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BEE MY WIFE

A Chinese couple have got married wearing clothes made of thousands of living bees. Li Wenhua and Yan Hongxia are both enthusiastic beekeepers and work for the Nanhu forestry commission at Ning’an city in northern China. And despite the fact that most of their pals kept their distance, the couple were still delighted with their new clothes.

Husband Li said: "I have been working with bees for two decades and it was the obvious choice for us for our big day. "I also wanted to set a world record for the biggest coat of bees - I put a queen bee on each of us but the only thing is it was impossible to count how many bees we had - I don't know if a guess is enough?"

His wife added: "It was an amazing feeling to have a carpet of living bees moving over my body. "I could feel them as they moved around - it was amazing. I have always loved bees but this was a totally new experience."

DATING MISTAKES MADE BY WOMAN

HERE ARE FIVE MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE ON THEIR ONLINE DATING PROFILE:

Ladies, if you're wondering why no one has responded to your online dating profile, even though you're a total catch, it might be because your profile kind of stinks.

With that in mind, here are five online dating profile mistakes to avoid.

#1.) You don't self-promote: A lot of women don't want to seem like they're bragging, so they leave out the fact that they speak four languages, or are a black belt in karate. But if you really want to get dates, you should highlight your strengths and cool experiences.

#2.) You come off as just another girl: You may be "smart, sweet and fun", but that's what every OTHER girl is saying too. Instead of using generic adjectives to describe your personality, tell a fun story that illustrates how you're adventurous or spontaneous. It'll make you seem interesting and set you apart from all the other duds.

#3.) You're too negative: Listing the types of people you DON'T want to date will make you come across as snobby and high-maintenance. And, in addition to the guys you DON'T want to date, it'll also chase off the guys you DO want to date.

#4.) You're too honest: The general rule is if you wouldn't say it on a first date, it shouldn't be on your dating profile. And you don't want to outright lie on your profile, but a little white lie here and there probably doesn't hurt.

#5.) You pick the wrong profile photo: Guys look at your picture first, and they don't like it when you only have one. So pick a few photos that show off your face AND your body. If you don't, guys will assume you're hiding your body for a reason.

Also, don't include pictures of you with your hot friends, or with ANY guy, even if he's a relative. Remember, this is a dating site, not Facebook. (Cosmopolitan)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (7-27-09)

"AMERICAN IDOL" WANNABE ALEXIS COHEN . . . A.K.A. "GLITTER GIRL" . . . DIED IN A HIT-AND-RUN ACCIDENT:

"American Idol" wannabe ALEXIS COHEN . . . a.k.a. "Glitter Girl" . . . was killed in a hit-and-run accident over the weekend in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. She was 25. --Alexis was one of the more memorable "bad auditions" on "Idol". She actually tried out for the show TWICE. First, during Season Seven, she sang "Somebody to Love" by JEFFERSON AIRPLANE.

(--Here's a clip from that audition . . .)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyimcFym6_I

--The judges really weren't that horrible to her, and she was pretty gracious when she got rejected. But after she left the audition room, she EXPLODED . . . mostly on Simon. She called him "egotistical" and a, quote, "big fat bad word." The tirade continued with bleeped-out curse words and lots of middle-finger action. Alexis also auditioned this past season . . . but she was rejected again.

There aren't a lot of details on the accident that caused Alexis' death. All we know is that two pedestrians called 911 after they found her lying in or near the street at 4:00 A.M. Saturday morning. --According to the autopsy, she sustained chest, head and abdominal injuries.

Alexis' car was found parked about 300 yards away from her body. The investigation is ongoing . . . and the authorities are treating her death as a homicide. --Alexis had apparently decided to try stand-up comedy.

Just last Friday . . . less than 24 hours before her death . . . Alexis posted a stand-up clip on her MySpace page. (--It was actually filmed a few months ago, with no audience.) (--And no, it's not funny. It's more like a spoken word performance. But it's kind of mesmerizing in a strange way. I think this could have actually blossomed into some kind of bizarre, absurd performance art-type thing if she'd lived.)

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OH MY GAWD!!! NEAR-JONAS BROTHERS TRAGEDY AVERTED!!!

A COLOSSAL JONAS BROTHERS tragedy almost happened at their show in Philadelphia on Friday night . . . but thankfully, everything is going to be OK. At one point during the show, NICK and JOE JONAS were attempting to play something on the drums . . . together. But as soon as they went at it, Joe accidentally SMASHED NICK'S HAND with a drumstick!!!

As Nick was writhing in pain, Joe offered to give Nick a, quote, "free shot" at him . . . but instead, Nick walked to the edge of the stage to have a roadie look at his hand. --After a few minutes Nick strapped on a guitar and continued the show . . . but he was still wincing a little as he started playing. Your teenage daughter can relax, though . . . as far as we know, he's perfectly fine.(--Here's a video of all this going down . . .)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqCNecP11MQ

--By the way, the Jonas Brothers are still wearing SILLY COSTUMES during their sound-checks. (--Here's an updated page featuring some of this G-RATED, MICKEY MOUSE-APPROVED HILARITY . . .)

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DID RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN MEET UP THIS WEEKEND IN NEW YORK CITY???

CHRIS BROWN'S YouTube apology may have worked. The "New York Post" claims that he and RIHANNA spent the weekend at a Manhattan hotel . . . secretly, of course. --They checked into separate rooms and made sure to come and go separately. They even used decoy vehicles to throw off the paparazzi.

As of yesterday, there were no reports of anyone seeing them together. --After he pleaded guilty to assaulting Rihanna, Chris was ordered to stay at least 50 yards from her. If he violates that order, he could end up blowing his plea deal. And the judge can throw the book at him, even if Chris has Rihanna's consent.

(--Rihanna didn't even want the restraining order in the first place.) --Chris' attorney refused to comment. All he'd say was, quote, "I don't want to be quoted on something hypothetical."

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SOME OLD "LOST" CHARACTERS WILL BE BACK THIS SEASON:

During a panel discussion . . . (--at Comic-Con this weekend) . . . "Lost" executive producer Damon Lindelof dropped a few hints about the show's FINAL season, which will premiere this winter. Here are a few highlights:

First off, "Lost" won't leave fans hanging when it comes to the show's big mysteries. Lindelof said, quote, "Everything that matters we're gonna answer." He also vaguely said that the last season will . . . in some ways . . . resemble the first season.

And some old characters will be back, too. Lindelof said, quote, "There's a good chance you'll be seeing many characters you haven't seen since the first season again." --He also said Juliet . . . (--who was played by ELIZABETH MITCHELL) . . . and Daniel . . . (--who was played by JEREMY DAVIES.) . . . will be back again. (--Both may have died last season . . . although you never know with "Lost".)

By the way, DOMINIC MONAGHAN . . . who played Charlie . . . doesn't know if he'll be back on "Lost". (--His character died at the end of the third season.) --He said, quote, "When people ask if me I'm coming back to 'Lost', that's the equivalent of asking Huckleberry Finn if he's coming back to Mark Twain. I'm a fictional character. I have no control over that."

Dominic will star in a new ABC show this fall called "Flash Forward". (--It's a sci-fi drama . . . which sounds a little like "Lost" . . . in which the entire population gets the chance to see their lives six months into the future.)

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MICHAEL JACKSON'S ESTATE WILL ACTUALLY HAVE SOME MONEY IN IT WHEN HIS DEBT IS PAID OFF:

We don't know how much yet, but MICHAEL JACKSON'S estate will probably have some money left in it when his estimated $400 million in debts is paid off. And Michael's mother, KATHERINE, and his three kids should start seeing some of it soon. --The executors of Michael's estate filed petitions the other day seeking monthly allowances for Katherine and the kids . . . who were named as heirs to Michael's fortune.

The executors also say they're putting the finishing touches on some deals that'll bring in TENS OF MILLIONS of dollars. (--One of those deals is obviously the movie that's being made from Michael's rehearsal footage.) --They also recently came into possession of $5.5 million in CASH that Michael had squirreled away.

The money was actually being held by one DR. TOHME TOHME. He was an adviser Michael hooked up with in the last years of his life. --Tohme came forward with the money recently, claiming Michael had given it to him to hold onto. He said Michael was planning to use it to buy a home in Las Vegas. Since that's obviously not happening anymore, he gave the money back to the estate.


THE LATEST ON THE MICHAEL JACKSON INVESTIGATION:

There wasn't much new information over the weekend concerning the LAPD's investigation into MICHAEL JACKSON'S death. TMZ is reporting that authorities found a SECRET STASH of drugs in the closet of the room in Michael's rented house where DR. CONRAD MURRAY was staying.

The thing is, it was actually Murray himself who told police about his hiding place. He reportedly did so when investigators interviewed him two days after Michael's death. --They did reportedly find Propofol . . . the drug that many believe KILLED Michael . . . in Murray's drug stash. But Murray still denies administering it.

And speaking of timing . . . TMZ has another interesting fact to report. The day Michael died, two employees of Dr. Murray in Houston removed files from his storage facility there. --The two women arrived to take 3 to 5 boxes of files . . . and the manager of the storage facility claims they became nervous when he began questioning them about what they were doing.

This was at 9:22 A.M. local time. That would have also been 9:22 Los Angeles time. --Murray called paramedics at 12:21 P.M. Los Angeles time . . . three hours later. --The question TMZ is posing here is . . . did Murray CALL those employees at 9:22 and tell them to remove the files??? And if so, WHY??? --In other words, they're "gently wondering", if you will, whether Michael was dead HOURS before the 911 call . . . and Murray was making sure that incriminating evidence was either hidden or destroyed before making that call. (--A search warrant filed last week identifies Dr. Conrad Murray as the target of a MANSLAUGHTER investigation by the LAPD.)

THE END MIGHT BE NEAR

***FIVE SIGNS YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET FIRED***

In June, 467,000 people lost their jobs. And just as many could lose their jobs THIS month. Should YOU be worried?

If you're wondering how secure YOUR job is, here are five signs you're about to get fired . . .

#1.) YOU'RE OUT OF THE LOOP. If your boss or coworkers have started acting weird, or you're suddenly the LAST person to hear about EVERYTHING, they might know something you don't.

#2.) YOU WERE TOLD TO TAKE A VACATION. Unless you just finished working a ton of overtime, being asked to take a vacation is a BAD sign. It either means you're expendable, or they need you out of the office so they can interview a replacement.

#3.) YOU MADE A MAJOR MISTAKE. Most employers know mistakes happen. But any time you make a BIG mistake, there's a chance you'll lose your job. Even if your boss is a good friend, someone higher up the ladder might be calling the shots.

#4.) MANAGEMENT IS RESTRUCTURING. When new blood takes over, they're expected to make big changes. So, if your boss or your boss's boss just got replaced, you might be next.

#5.) YOUR COMPANY IS ON CNBC. Under normal circumstances, it might be a GOOD thing. But in the wake of the financial meltdown, it seems like ALL news is BAD news. If your company is being profiled on TV, chances are, it's in trouble. (AskMen.com)