HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (04-08-11)
Tina Fey Decided to Get Pregnant at 40 Because She Figured the Work Offers Were Going to Dry Up Anyway: TINA FEY is pregnant with her second child at 40 . . . five years after giving birth to her first. And while she says she agonized over the decision, she finally decided to go for it because the work offers were going to dry up anyway. --In her new book, "Bossypants", she says, quote, "Science shows that fertility and movie offers drop off steeply for women after 40. --"What's so great about work anyway? Work won't visit you when you're old. Work won't drive you to get a mammogram and take you out after for soup. Hollywood be damned. I'll just be unemployable and labeled crazy in five years anyway." Is "Twilight" Minx Nikki Reed Dating Paul McDonald from "American Idol"? E! Online says that NIKKI REED . . . who plays Rosalie Hale in the "Twilight" movies . . . is dating "American Idol" contestant PAUL MCDONALD. He's the blonde-haired guy who has the scratchy, Rod Stewart-esque voice. --You may recall that the two met when the contestants attended the premiere of "Red Riding Hood". She even told him, quote, "You're amazing. I'm blushing, I should go." They've supposedly been keeping in touch via Skype. (--Here's video of their first meeting. Notice after they hug, Paul says, quote, "Is she a famous actress or something? I'd probably hang out with her.") Charlie Sheen Wants Mila Kunis to Be His Next Goddess: CHARLIE SHEEN wants to add MILA KUNIS to his stable of "goddesses". --During his show in Columbus, Ohio Wednesday night, Charlie said, quote, "Here's the good news: my goddesses have already (effing) approved her. She's pre-approved! --"I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila (effing) Kunis. If Mila Kunis is stealing your (crap), trust me, you're still (effing) winning; you're still winning at that moment." --Then Charlie outlined his strategy for reeling Mila in . . . quote, "I'm going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes . . . I'm going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. --"A super (effing) hot thief named Mila Kunis. Mila, please, we have a warehouse full of your favorite (crap) to steal." (--Charlie's tour hits New York's Radio City Music Hall tonight, then it's off to Wallingford, Connecticut tomorrow night . . . and back to Radio City on Sunday.) LeBron James' Mother Was Arrested After Allegedly Slapping a Valet: LEBRON JAMES' mother Gloria was arrested early yesterday morning for allegedly slapping a valet after a late night of partying in Miami Beach. --Gloria and some friends were enjoying adult beverages at a nightclub called LIV, which is in the Fontainebleau Hotel. They were having such a good time they didn't even leave until almost 5:00 A.M. --At that point, the valet got their car for them and drove it to the front of the hotel. But Gloria and a friend who was driving her just stood there talking to people for about 30 minutes. --So after waiting all that time for them to leave, the valet turned off the car and gave the keys to an attendant. When she noticed the car had been turned off, Gloria got in the valet's face, shouting, quote, "Where are my (effing) keys" and other profanities at him. --Then she SLAPPED him . . . allegedly . . . with an open hand, and proceeded to lose her balance and hit the pavement. It's not clear whether it was alcohol or the force of the blow that caused her to fall. --Police arrested Gloria and booked her on charges of simple battery and disorderly intoxication. --Police say Gloria was NOT cooperative. In fact, at the station, she told an officer, quote, "I'm trying to trust you but I don't trust your kind. I don't trust that officer who arrested me." (--It's not clear if that was a RACIAL statement, or if Gloria just has doesn't like cops. We don't know what color either of these officers is.) --She was eventually released to Steve Stowe . . . an executive with the Miami Heat . . . after promising to return for a hearing at a later date. --The valet did what most people do when they think they've hit the civil court jackpot. First he went to the hospital . . . (--Yes, for treatment of a SLAP) . . . then he got a lawyer. (--Here are pictures of LeBron's mom in police custody and the guy she allegedly slapped. If you'd like to read the actual police report, you'll find it here.) (--And here's video of the victim speaking to reporters. He says Gloria HUMILIATED him . . . and he NEEDS JUSTICE.) --This is the second alcohol-related arrest that we know of for Gloria. Back in 2006, she was collared for driving under the influence in Akron, Ohio. During her arrest she struggled with officers and even kicked and damaged a police car window. --She ended up pleading no contest to several charges. --Gloria . . . who's 42 years old . . . moved to Miami with LeBron when he left the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat last year. LeBron James Says His Mother's Arrest Is a "Sensitive Subject": LEBRON JAMES commented on his mother's arrest last night. He said, quote, "You have to move forward . . . It is my life and there's certain things you have to deal with. You try not to let it be a distraction. I have a job to do, still. --"It's very sensitive because it's your mother. Of course to have an incident, it's very sensitive. But the people around me are helping me." Ben Roethlisberger Won't Live With His Fiancée Before Marriage . . . Because It's Against His Religion: Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback BEN ROETHLISBERGER says he and his fiancée, Ashley Harlan, won't live together before they get married this July . . . because it's against their religious beliefs. --Now Ben's not the smartest guy who ever put on a football uniform. But he IS smart enough to know that a lot of people aren't buying that from him. --He says, quote, "People will always have opinions of everybody and me, and that's fine, they're entitled. --"But people who know [us] and can see and are around us and know me, know that it's something special when you find that person, and I'm extremely lucky." George Lucas Has a Daughter Who's an MMA Fighter . . . And She's Fighting Tomorrow Night: You may not know this, but GEORGE LUCAS has a 30-year-old daughter named Amanda . . . and she's an MMA fighter. Oh, and she's got a fight tomorrow night. --She'll be competing at 160 pounds at an event called Freestyle Cage Fighting 46 in Shawnee, Oklahoma. --Amanda has a 1-and-1 record, and her last fight was in November of 2009. She says, quote, "Although I didn't fight in 2010 I was actively training, competing in grappling tournaments and earning my purple belt in Brazillian jiu-jitsu. --"The main reasons I didn't fight was first, I got married and I assured everyone that I wouldn't walk down the aisle looking like a battered woman. Second, I wanted to focus on getting technically better in all areas of MMA." (--Here are some pictures of Amanda . . . including one of her in one of the "Star Wars" prequels. She had cameos in all three of them.) (--Here's the website of the event she's fighting in. There's not a heck of a lot of info there.) Donald Trump Now Has Investigators Looking Into President Obama's Birth: DONALD TRUMP'S presidential campaign is going to live or die on the issue of PRESIDENT OBAMA'S birthplace. He's really in this deep. --On the "Today" show yesterday, he revealed that he's got INVESTIGATORS in Hawaii trying to determine whether Obama was born there. --He said, quote, "I have people that have been studying it and they cannot believe what they're finding." --He added, quote, "He spent $2 million in legal fees trying to get away from this issue, and if he weren't lying, why wouldn't he just solve it? --"I wish he would because if he doesn't, it's one of the greatest scams in the history of politics and in the history, period. You are not allowed to be a president if you're not born in this country. Right now, I have some real doubts." --He also said the reason he hasn't declared his candidacy yet is because, quote, "You're not allowed to have a show on and be a declared candidate." (--Watch video here.) Naomi and Wynonna Judd Admit That They Were Sexually Abused Too . . . and They're Both Still Being Supportive of Ashley: NAOMI and WYNONNA JUDD are still giving love to ASHLEY . . . despite all the family dirt she digs up in her new book, "All That Is Bitter & Sweet". --In fact on yesterday's episode of "The View", both Naomi AND Wynonna freely admitted that they were sexually abused too. -Naomi said, quote, "My first memory is when I was three and a half, and a man was trying to sexually abuse me. That was my very first memory and I can remember everything about it. -"It happened twice more to me and I just kinda knocked him away and I've never said anything to anybody. [I] just kept it all to myself." --After Wynonna admitted to having been sexually abused too, she added, quote, "I haven't faced him yet, and I'm working on that." --BARBARA WALTERS also asked Naomi if she thought Ashley was neglected. She replied, quote, "In a way, I do, but the thing I want to acknowledge is, I adore my daughter. These two girls, and my husband, of course, Larry, are the joy of my life, and I support Ashley." --Wynonna added, quote, "People are trying to almost pit us against each other and I want to come out and say, 'Listen, we agree to disagree in our family, but we show up and support each other for who we are.'" NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND This Weekend's Movies Include Natalie Portman in a Thong, a Remake of "Arthur", and the Story of Shark Attack Victim Bethany Hamilton: #1.) "Arthur" (PG-13) The "Arthur" remake stars Russell Brand as an irresponsible, drunken playboy who's the sole heir to a billion dollar fortune. Helen Mirren is his life-long nanny Hobson. --Jennifer Garner is in it as the ambitious corporate executive he has to marry unless he wants to be cut off from his inheritance. But he's already in love with a working class girl, so he decides to give up the money and grow up. --Arthur was played by Dudley Moore in the 1981 original, with Sir John Gielgud as Hobson and Liza Minnelli as the working class girl. (Trailer) #2.) "Your Highness" (R) A medieval comedy starring James Franco and Danny McBride as two brothers on a quest to rescue Zooey Deschanel from an evil wizard. Natalie Portman is a sexy warrior chick who joins their quest. (Trailer) #3.) "Hanna" (PG-13) Saoirse Ronan from "The Lovely Bones" plays a teenager who's been trained by her ex-CIA father to be the perfect assassin. Eric Bana plays her dad and Cate Blanchett is the agent trying to get her before she kills her target. (Trailer) #4.) "Soul Surfer" (PG) AnnaSophia Robb plays surfer Bethany Hamilton, the chick who lost her left arm to a shark and then returned to competitive surfing. Helen Hunt and Dennis Quaid play her parents, Carrie Underwood plays her church youth group leader, and Jack Nicholson's daughter Lorraine Nicholson plays a surfer. (Trailer) The 29 Greatest Thong Scenes in the History of Movies: In honor of NATALIE PORTMAN'S delicious thong scene in the new comedy "Your Highness", a website called ScreenJunkies.com has put together a list of The 29 Greatest Thong Scenes in Cinema History. --The site did include, quote, "one-piece bathing suits that floss in the back." If you didn't understand that, give it a second . . . yup, you got it. --And by the way, Natalie Portman's thong scene from the 2004 movie "Closer" is on there. Here are a few more highlights from the list: --MELANIE GRIFFITH in "Fear City" (1984) --GOLDIE HAWN in "Overboard" (1987) --JAMIE LEE CURTIS in "True Lies" (1994) --DEMI MOORE in "Striptease" (1996) --DENISE RICHARDS in "Wild Things" (1998) --CARLA GUGINO in "Sin City" (2005) --MARISA TOMEI in "The Wrestler" (2008) (--Check out the list here. Most of the entries include either a video or a picture. ***WARNING***: There are scantily clad ladies at this link, and some of the videos are "not safe for work.") Goodbye, Pia Toscano . . . P.S., You're Hot: One of the downsides of the super-positive "American Idol" judging panel is: When left to their own devices, America does NOT know how to judge a singing competition. --Last night, PIA TOSCANO was eliminated, and everyone was SHOCKED. Or the judges were, at least. (--And so was I, but mostly because she's so hot.) --JENNIFER LOPEZ said, quote, "I have no idea what just happened here," and started to cry. RANDY JACKSON said, quote, "You're one of the best singers. This makes me mad." --So J-Lo was sad, Randy was mad, and STEVEN TYLER was . . . well, poetic. Steven said, quote, "A mistake is one thing, but a lack of passion is unforgivable." --Of course, the judges couldn't use their "judges' save" on Pia, because they already used it on the amazingly talented CASEY ABRAMS. (--See? The judges need to be a LITTLE more critical of the bad performances, and give a TINY bit of guidance . . . or they're going to need more "judges' saves". America has no idea what it's doing.) --STEFANO LANGONE and JACOB LUSK were also in the Bottom Three. Simon Cowell Is Considering Fergie As an "X Factor" Judge: Yesterday, SIMON COWELL revealed that FERGIE of the BLACK EYED PEAS COULD be joining his "X Factor" judging panel. But it's still up in the air. --Simon said, quote, "All I can tell you is that her name was put forward. But like a lot of other people we've spoken to, we have to check out everybody's availability. --"There's a lot of time you have to put into the show . . . it's not a 'two-day-a-week' [thing]. When you're in the live show, it's because you're mentoring the contestant. You're working five or six days a week." --Since the Black Eyed Peas are one of the biggest groups out there now, it's hard to believe Fergie would be able to commit to "X Factor" . . . even for one season. --Plus, you'd think that Simon would want to have some judges locked down for MULTIPLE seasons. (--And honestly, I don't understand why, of all people, he would bend over backward to land Fergie.) --The only official judges are Simon and former record label boss L.A. REID. --By the way, "X Factor" is expanding its auditions. --Recording studios in several cities have been reserved so that wannabe singers can audition REMOTELY. It seems simple: You tape an a cappella performance, and explain why you think you should win "X Factor". --Unfortunately, it's not a nation-wide thing . . . but here's the list of the locations where you can do it. The dates are when the auditions open at each location. You'll be able to hit them up through April 30th. --Today: Honolulu, Hawaii at the Pearlridge Center Uptown --Today: Phoenix, Arizona at Arizona Mills --Tomorrow: Nashville, Tennessee at the Coolsprings Galleria --Next Tuesday, April 12th: Anchorage, Alaska at the Dimond Center --Next Friday, April 15th: Kansas City, Kansas at the Oak Park Mall --Next Saturday, April 16th: Denver, Colorado at Colorado Mills (--For more info on those locations, here's the full press release. For the eligibility requirements and additional audition information, go to the show's site, here.) Alec Baldwin Now Says He Hopes "30 Rock" Continues On "As Long As Everyone Involved Desires": Earlier this week, ALEC BALDWIN suggested that the next season of "30 Rock" would probably be the LAST . . . because both he and TINA FEY are leaving. --Well, he's backing off that statement a little bit. But it sounds like HE'S still planning to leave. --He says, quote, "I want to take the opportunity to state that although my days on network TV may be numbered, I hope '30 Rock' goes on forever. Or at least as long as everyone involved desires." --He adds, quote, "Next year hopefully won't be the last . . . Here's to five more seasons." Snooki, J-Woww and Pauly D Are Getting "Jersey Shore" Spin-Offs: "Jersey Shore" morons SNOOKI, J-WOWW and PAULY D are getting their own spin-off shows. Snooki and J-Woww are actually doing a show together that'll deal with, quote, "life and love." --Pauly's show will be about his, quote, "jet-setting and often hilarious life on the road as one of the country's most in-demand DJs." --Both shows will debut sometime next year. There's no word on a title for either. Friday TV Reminders: --"The Masters" [2nd Round Play] . . . 3:00 to 7:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. --"Who Do You Think You Are?" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Ashley Judd traces her family lineage back to the Union Army and America's first settlers.) --"Shark Tank" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Jeff Foxworthy joins the sharks while "The Sopranos" star Vincent Pastore pitches his entrepreneur idea.) --"The Singing Bee" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CMT. (--Melissa Peterman . . . a.k.a. Barbara Jean on "Reba" . . . is your new host.) --"Fish Hooks" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on Disney Channel. (--Ozzy Osbourne guest voices as the magical mascot of Earth Day when he sings the praises of recycling.) --"CMT's Next Superstar" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CMT. The latest singing competition from "American Idol" producer Nigel Lythgoe searches for the next country music star. Kristen Chenoweth is the big name on tonight's first panel of judges. (--In this one, five men and five women live together in the heart of Nashville. The contestants are also judged on their songwriting, radio interviews and music videos. You can check them out here. I have to say, some of the girls are hot, but I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be sharing a house with some of these people.) --"Primetime: What Would You Do?" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--The scenarios include a proposal in a restaurant where the patrons know that one member in the relationship is being two-timed . . . and a manager of a health-food store who rejects an overweight job applicant in front of customers.) --"Merlin" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy. --"Rock Docs" . . . 10:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 and VH1 Classic. (--A look at the career of the Foo Fighters.) --"Bar Karma" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Current TV. (--"General Hospital's" Genie Francis stars as a waitress suffering with a multiple personality disorder.) Saturday TV Reminders: --"The Masters" [3rd Round Play] . . . 3:30 to 7:00 P.M. Eastern on CBS. --"Grand Ole Opry Live" . . . 7:00 to 9:00 P.M. on GAC. (--Doyle Lawson, Jimmy C. Newman, Stonewall Jackson and Mandy Barnett perform.) --"Prince William & Catherine: A Royal Love Story" [Part 1 of 2] . . . 8:00 to 9:30 P.M. on OWN. --"It's Me or the Dog" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Animal Planet. --"Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Spoon performs.) (REPEAT) --"Colin Quinn Long Story Short" . . . 10:00 to 11:30 P.M. on HBO. (--Colin Quinn performs stand-up from his one-man Broadway show directed by Jerry Seinfeld.) --"That Metal Show" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic. (--WWE wrestling champion Chris Jericho and composer Yngwie Malmsteen are guests.) --"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Helen Mirren guest hosts and Foo Fighters are the musical guest.) Sunday TV Reminders: --"The Masters" [Final Round Play] . . . 2:00 to 7:00 P.M. Eastern on CBS. --"Secret Millionaire" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. --"The Simpsons" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on Fox. (--Martin Landau guest voices as magician the Great Raymondo when he takes Lisa on as his apprentice. Magicians David Copperfield and Penn & Teller have cameos as themselves.) --"Family Guy" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox. (--"90210's" Jessica Stroup is the latest lady to turn down Brian's affections while Drew Barrymore returns as his ex.) --"The Comedy Awards" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central, Spike TV, VH1, CMT, TV Land, Logo & Nick at Nite. (--The nominees were selected by a board of directors that includes Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, Billy Crystal, Chris Rock, Ray Romano, Seth MacFarlane, and Conan O'Brien.) (--All the nominees are here. And if you can't wait, here are the winners.) --"The Judds" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on OWN. (--A six-part series that follows Naomi and Wynonna Judd on their 2010 reunion tour "The Judds: The Last Encore".) --"Khloe & Lamar" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on E! (--A new new reality series about Khloe Kardashian and her NBA husband Lamar Odom.) --"The Dance Scene" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on E! (--Hollywood choreographer Laurieann Gibson trains dancers to work with celebrities as she choreographs dance numbers for Katy Perry and Keri Hilson.) Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" Has Been Named the Most Inspirational Song for Young Gay People in the Last 10 Years: Suck on this, LADY GAGA: Stonewall . . . a British nonprofit that deals with gay, lesbian and bisexual issues . . . held a poll to determine the most empowering song of the last decade for young homosexual and bisexual people. --And "Born This Way" only came in THIRD. --The top spot went to CHRISTINA AGUILERA'S "Beautiful". --In second place is the Irish boy band BOYZONE with "Better". --Fourth place went to "Standing in the Way of Control" by THE GOSSIP . . . a band that's fronted by the openly-lesbian BETH DITTO. --Rounding out the Top 5 is KATY PERRY'S "Firework". FRIDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS ROBIN GIBB of the BEE GEES has been released from the hospital and is resting at home. His rep says it looks like he'll make a full recovery from whatever stomach ailment landed him in the hospital earlier this week. (Full Story) For all you royal wedding collectors: PRINCE WILLIAM and his fiancée KATE MIDDLETON are now available in PEZ DISPENSER FORM. (Full Story) DANNY MCBRIDE . . . who co-stars with NATALIE PORTMAN and JAMES FRANCO in the comedy "Your Highness" . . . is going to be a dad. His wife, Gia Ruiz, is about three or four months pregnant. The "National Enquirer" claims that ELIZABETH TAYLOR could have added 10 years to her life with heart surgery, but she didn't want to undergo another surgical procedure. (Full Story) Prospective jurors in DR. CONRAD MURRAY'S manslaughter case have to fill out a questionnaire that asks questions like whether they have positive or negative feelings about MICHAEL JACKSON, or whether they've ever taken propofol. (Full Story) "Girls Gone Wild" scumbag JOE FRANCIS was found not liable for the emotional distress of three women who appeared in one of his videos before they were legal. And here's the kicker: He was acquitted by an ALL-FEMALE JURY. (Full Story) MIKE TYSON and PAMELA ANDERSON have joined the cast of Argentina's version of "Dancing With the Stars". But perhaps more importantly, the show will also feature a GAY COUPLE. The "star" of that couple is some theater director whose name would mean nothing to you. (Full Story) DAVID ARQUETTE hit 100 days of sobriety yesterday. (Full Story) "Star Trek" legend GEORGE TAKEI did a bogus video where he's trying out for the lead in that "Spider-Man" musical on Broadway. (Video) "The Real Housewives of Washington D.C." has become the first show in the popular "Real Housewives" franchise to get the ax. (Full Story) NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF What are We Getting Drunk On? A New Harris Poll Ranks America's Favorite Types of Alcohol: A new Harris poll surveyed the country to rank America's most popular drinks. And the verdict is . . . BEER. 63% of us say we drink beer, quote, "at least several times a year." Here's the full list . . . #1.) Beer, 63% #2.) Domestic wine, 54% #3.) Vodka, 41% #4.) Rum, 34% #5.) Tequila, 28% #6.) Imported wine, 28% #7.) Foreign whiskey (Canadian, Irish), 20% #8.) Champagne, 17% #9.) Cordials and liqueurs, 17% #10.) Bourbon, 15% #11.) Gin, 14% #12.) Scotch, 11% #13.) Cognac, 8% #14.) Brandy/Armagnac, 7% #15.) Other, 6% --Here are a few more findings from the poll . . . --Men are most likely to drink beer. Women are most likely to drink domestic wine. --Three-quarters of men drink beer several times a year, versus half of women. --Two-thirds of women drink domestic wine several times a year, versus less than half of men. --Men are four times more likely to drink bourbon or scotch than women. --The most common drinking frequency in the country is at least once a week, at 29%. Next most is "I never drink" at 25%. At least once a month is third, at 20%. And . . . 6% of people say they drink EVERY SINGLE DAY. --Men are more likely to drink daily than women, 7% to 3%. (Harris Interactive) 23% of American Students Show Signs of Addiction Withdrawal When They Have To Go 24 Hours Without the Internet: According to a new study, Facebook is heroin, Twitter is cocaine, your email is Quaaludes, and the Internet itself is the drug dealer who's more than happy to give you access to all those things 24 hours a day. --Researchers at the University of Maryland took college students from 10 different countries, and monitored how they reacted when they had to go a full 24 hours without the Internet or a cell phone. No web, no email, no social media, no texting, nothing. --And they found a SHOCKING number of the students showed signs of addiction withdrawal . . . signs that you'd see in a heavy drug user after 24 hours. --23% of the students from the U.S. showed the signs . . . that's almost one in four. That was the highest of any of the countries in the study, just ahead of Chinese students . . . 22% of them showed signs of withdrawal. --The researchers say this is another sign that Internet addiction is a VERY REAL thing . . . even if it's not close to being recognized as a clinical disorder yet. (Ars Technica) Check Out These Maps To See What Single People In Your Area Are Thinking: A new website monitored 21 online dating sites to see what keywords different single people use in different parts of the country. For example, people in Houston want "rich entrepreneurs" . . . in Maine, they want "unmanly vampires." --The site's organization is pretty clunky, but it's still a pretty cool way to see the dating trends in your area and how they compare to the rest of the state and country. Check out the maps at http://perfect.lukedubois.com/. Only One Out of Four People is Willing To Say Love at First Sight Doesn't Exist: There's a reason that Hollywood keeps churning out horrible romantic comedies at a record-setting rate. And it's because, deep down, we're really a country of absolute SUCKERS for magical, nauseating romance. --A new nationwide survey found that only 27% of Americans, or about one out of four, are willing to say that they absolutely DON'T believe in love at first sight. --55% say they absolutely DO believe in love at first sight, and 18% still aren't sure. --Of the people who say they believe in love at first sight, 71% say they've experienced it. (PR Newswire) 56% of People Admit To Talking To You From the Toilet: When you're talking with someone on the phone, and suddenly it sounds a little more echo-y on their end, do you think . . . did they just go into the bathroom? Well . . . you should. --In a new survey, 56% of Americans admitted to using their cell phones in the bathroom. And we say "admitted" because we STRONGLY suspect there are some people who lied. --Of the people who take their phones to the can, 70% make calls, 62% text, 20% listen to music, 19% check Facebook and Twitter . . . and 7% actually pull up something on their phone to read. (AOL Small Business) "Forbes" Names Scrooge McDuck the World's Richest Fictional Character: "Forbes" just put out its annual list of the world's richest fictional characters, and there's a new number one this year. --Thanks to the 30% rise in gold prices, SCROOGE MCDUCK of "DuckTales" is this year's wealthiest character at $44.1 BILLION. If you don't know, Scrooge keeps his fortune entirely in gold coins in a vault. And he swims in them. --Last year's number one was CARLISLE CULLEN, the patriarch of the vampire family in "Twilight". He's dropped to number two this year, with $36.2 BILLION. (--The best part? I bet there are "Twilight" fans legitimately upset about that.) --Number three is Artemis Fowl the Second, of the series of "Artemis Fowl" books. Richie Rich is number four and Jed Clampett of the "Beverly Hillbillies" is number five. --Tony Stark from "Iron Man" is sixth . . . the dragon Smaug from "The Hobbit" is seventh . . . Bruce Wayne is eighth . . . Mr. Monopoly is ninth . . . and Arthur Bach of "Arthur" is tenth. --In a stunning coincidence that I'm sure no marketing department paid for, "Forbes" has an interview with RUSSELL BRAND in character as Arthur, since his remake of "Arthur" opens in theaters today. --The last four on the list are Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons" . . . Chuck Bass from "Gossip Girl" . . . Gordon Gekko from "Wall Street" . . . and Jeffrey Lebowski from "The Big Lebowski". (Forbes) The Top Five Cars Purchased By Men and Women Show That Men Want Looks . . . And Women Want Practicality: A website called TrueCar.com analyzed more than eight million car purchases in the U.S. last year, to try to figure out how men and women approach the car-buying process. And they found . . . nothing but an old stereotype coming true. --When it comes to car buying, men tend to favor cars that drive fast and look good . . . and women go for cars that cost less and are more practical. --The lists of the top 10 cars that had the highest percentages of male buyers and female buyers are pretty comical illustrations of the findings. --The top 10 cars brands that have the highest percentage of male buyers are: Ferrari, Maserati, Porsche, GMC, Jaguar, Dodge, Land Rover, Ford, Chevrolet, and Hummer. --The top 10 cars brands that have the highest percentage of female buyers are: Mini, Kia, Honda, Nissan, Subaru, Suzuki, Hyundai, Mercury, Mazda, and Mitsubishi. --The one model of car with the highest percentage of female buyers was the Volkswagen Beetle at 61%. For men, it was the Porsche 911 at 88%. (Reuters) Maine is America's Most Peaceful State . . . And Louisiana is America's Least Peaceful: In a new study, a think tank called the Institute for Economics and Peace ranked all 50 U.S. states based on how peaceful they are. Which is a good thing or a bad thing, I guess . . . depending on your feelings toward hippies. --The study was based on factors like homicide rates, the percentage of the population in jail, the availability of guns, the number of police officers, and the overall crime rate. --And the basic conclusion is . . . the Northeast is peaceful, and the South is gonna kill you. --Maine was named the most peaceful state in the country, and five of the top 10 most peaceful states are in New England. --The top 10 goes: Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Minnesota, North Dakota, Utah, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Iowa, and Washington. --Louisiana was named the least peaceful state, and it's joined in the bottom 10 by a LOT of other Southern states: At least six, and up to eight if you count Tennessee and Oklahoma as Southern states. --The bottom 10 goes: Louisiana, Tennessee, Nevada, Florida, Alabama, Texas, Arkansas, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Maryland. --The good news in all of this is that according to the study, the U.S. on the whole has become significantly more peaceful over the past 15 years . . . mostly thanks to a big decrease in homicides and violent crimes. (Vision Of Humanity) (--You can see the rankings for all 50 states here.) A Woman in Georgia Was Cleaning Out Her Purse and Found a Lottery Ticket Worth $189,000: Every time we see one of these stories about someone finding a winning lottery ticket just lying around, all we can think is . . . yeah, this will never happen to you. --Back on January 17th, 55-year-old Rhonda Williams of Fairburn, Georgia bought a five-number Quick Pick lottery ticket at a convenience store, and threw it in her purse. --And as it goes with women's purses, the ticket ended up lost in the abyss and she forgot about it. This week, she finally decided to clean out her purse. --She found the ticket and figured she'd check the numbers online. AND . . . it turns out she nailed all five and won a cool $189,302. --Rhonda says she's planning to pay off all her bills and take a vacation. (ABC 2 - Atlanta) A 17-Year-Old Says He Survived a Gator Attack Thanks To . . . His Sagging Pants: I take back everything I've ever said about sagging pants. Forget it all. Let them droop to the ground. We want to see your boxers. You totally look like a smart, well-rounded member of society. The lower, the better.--Because 17-year-old Kendrick Williams of St. Petersburg, Florida has CHANGED ME. On Monday, Kendrick survived an alligator attack . . . and he gives all the credit to his sagging, baggy pants. --Kendrick was walking home from work Monday night and took a shortcut past a pond near his family's apartment complex. He heard a hiss, looked down, and saw a six- or seven-foot alligator. --He started to RUN and the gator SNAPPED at him. It caught his pants in its mouth. --But, because Kendrick was wearing his pants so low, and because they were so baggy, the gator just bit off a large chunk of denim . . . not a large chunk of Kendrick's flesh. --Kendrick's mom is Tanita Murray. She says, quote, "That was the advantage of wearing baggy pants that day. It's dangerous. If a toddler had been standing there, it would have bit his neck or head." (ABC 28 - Tampa) MEATBALL CRIMINALS A Woman Crashes When She Decides To Brush Her Teeth . . . While Driving Over 60 Miles-Per-Hour: This woman is lucky her insane multitasking didn't KILL HER. --Last month, 65-year-old Cherie Davis of Blenheim, New Zealand was driving her car on a freeway and set her cruise control at 62 miles-per-hour. (--That's 100 kilometers-per-hour, if you're wondering why she picked a number like 62.) --She needed to set the cruise control so she could . . . brush her teeth. --As she drove and brushed her teeth, she lost control of the car . . . obviously . . . and crashed into some rocks on the side of the road. --Amazingly, she wasn't hurt . . . and no other cars were on the road. --When the police got there, she blew almost twice the legal limit on the breathalyzer. (--But imagine how well she must've scored on the FRESH-breathalyzer.) --She was charged with drunk driving and careless use. (News.com.au) RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS Archaeologists say they may have found evidence of the world's first gay caveman: He was buried the way women usually were, and surrounded by jars instead of weapons and tools. (Full Story) According to a new estimate by a researcher named Gary Gates . . . there are now four million gay adults in the U.S. (Full Story) A 10-year-old Pennsylvania kid took $8,500 out of his college savings so he could buy William "The Fridge" Perry's Super Bowl ring . . . and return it to him. (Full Story) And you wonder why the Chinese are kicking our ass. Students at MIT believe they may have set a new world record . . . by folding a 13,000-foot length of toilet paper in half, 13 times. (Full Story) According to a new study, the annual amount of business-related information processed by the world's computer servers produces enough information to make a 5.6 billion-mile high stack of books . . . which would reach from Earth to Neptune and back, 20 times a year. (Full Story) An inventor in France has come up with a portable, biodegradable, fold-up toilet for use in natural disasters. It's basically a piece of cardboard that folds into a box with a seat, with pads inside that soak up liquids. (Full Story) 64% of people say they would never shock another person in exchange for money . . . but when given the opportunity in an experiment, 96% actually administered the shock. (Full Story) NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY #1.) And Now . . . A Dog That Won't Let a Little Kid Drink From a Water Fountain: There's a new video on YouTube of a little kid trying to drink from a water fountain, but every time he leans in to take a sip, the dog standing next to him starts drinking. --Then when the dog finally goes away, the kid says, "That dog's mean" . . . and accidentally sprays himself in the face. (--Search for "Dog Won't Let Kid Drink From Fountain." He sprays himself in the face at 1:12) #2.) Police Sent a SWAT Robot Into a Suicidal Guy's House . . . And the Guy Walked Out of a Room Naked and Shot the Robot With an Assault Rifle: Some guy in West Melbourne, Florida called his family and said he was going to kill himself, and anyone who tried to stop him. So police sent in a robot, instead of risking an officer's life. --And that turned out to be a good idea . . . because when the robot got inside, the guy walked out of his room NAKED, then shot it four times with an assault rifle. --A video from the robot's point of view was posted online. The guy's junk is blurred out, but you see him walk out of the room with the gun and point it at the robot. Then the screen goes black. The guy eventually surrendered without incident. (--Search for "Naked Man with AK-47 Fires at SWAT Robot." The naked guy shows up at 1:14, but the video doesn't have sound, and it's from a SWAT robot that got plugged four times, so it's not as great as it could have been.) #3.) A Trailer For the New Beastie Boys Short Film Was Released on YouTube . . . And It Stars a Ton of Celebrities: The new BEASTIE BOYS album comes out next month, and they're releasing a 30-minute comedy film to go with it. A trailer for it hit YouTube yesterday, and there are a bunch of celebrities in it: --Seth Rogen, Danny McBride, and Elijah Wood play the YOUNG Beastie Boys . . . even though Elijah Wood is the only one who really LOOKS young. Will Ferrell, Jack Black, and John C. Reilly play the OLD Beastie Boys. --And there are also cameos by Rainn Wilson, Ted Danson, Stanley Tucci, Will Arnett, and Susan Sarandon. (--Search for "Fight For Your Right Revisited.") (--WARNING: This video includes a bunch of F-bombs and other profanity.) Five Stupid Things People Have Tried to Deduct on Their Taxes: You don't have to do your taxes until Monday, April 18th this year, because of a little-known holiday celebrated in Washington D.C. called Emancipation Day. So if you want to wait until the last minute and do your taxes next weekend, you can. --But if you're like a lot of people and you're planning to do them THIS weekend, make sure you don't do what any of THESE people did . . .Here's a list from CNNMoney.com of five stupid things people have tried to deduct on their taxes. #1.) Hookers. A lawyer in New York tried to deduct the $66,000 he spent on prostitutes as a medical expense, along with the $5,000 he spent on pornography and sex therapy books. --But obviously, if you pay for something that's ILLEGAL, you can't deduct it. And he couldn't deduct the money he spent on the books either, because a court ruled they were for his, quote, "general welfare", and not prescribed by a doctor. #2.) Candy and Flowers for Secretaries. A public defender in Santa Clara, California tried to deduct it on his taxes, but the IRS decided it was a personal expense that wasn't necessary for his business. #3.) Buffalo Meat. A professional bodybuilder in Wisconsin tried to deduct it, saying it has more protein than other meats. But a court decided that since plenty of normal people eat buffalo meat too, it wasn't deductable. --But the guy DID manage to deduct tanning products and "posing oil", which is the stuff bodybuilders rub all over themselves so they look shiny. #4.) An Aquarium. A guy in Rock Hill, South Carolina tried to deduct an eleven hundred dollar, 75-gallon saltwater aquarium, which would have been fine if he was in the exotic fish business. The problem was, he was a stockbroker. #5.) Underwear. One of the guys in ROD STEWART'S band once tried to deduct leather pants, hats, a vest, and silk boxers because he wore them on stage. --The IRS eventually let him deduct some of the flashier items, but not the boxers since no one could see them. (CNNMoney.com) Five Times When It's Okay To Skip the Foreplay: You always hear that when it comes to carnal relations, women want MORE foreplay. But apparently that's not always the case. According to Ask Men.com, there are five times when it's okay for you to skip the foreplay and get right down to business. #1.) Welcome-Home Sex. If one of you has been away on a trip, you'll probably both be eager to get after each other when you get home. The time you spent apart will already make things intense, so you don't have to do a whole lot of work. #2.) After a Night Out Dancing. If you've been grinding on the dance floor all night, chances are you're both going to be riled up and ready to rub genitalia as soon as you get home. #3.) After a Wedding. It's along the same lines of spending a night out on the town, but on a whole different level. Weddings do strange things to women . . . and it usually translates to more enthusiasm in the bedroom. #4.) In Public. Not everyone is into getting busy in public. But if one of you has an exhibitionist side, this kind of sex doesn't require foreplay . . . or even allow it. The chance of getting caught should be a big enough turn-on on its own. #5.) Quickies. Just like sex in public, if you've only got time for a quickie before work or during your lunch break, foreplay isn't really an option. -Quickies have a place in every relationship . . . just make sure they're the exception and not the rule. (Ask Men)
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