THAT'S A LOT OF INK

CHECK OUT THIS GUY'S INSANE "BEFORE AND AFTER" MUGSHOTS:

In 2003, a 33-year-old guy named Michael Campbell was arrested for theft in Jefferson County, Colorado. Michael got arrested again about six weeks ago . . . and it seems he became quite the tattoo fan in the past five years. Because now, Michael's face is literally COVERED in tattoos. (Smoking Gun)

RELATIONSHIP BUMPS

***FIVE FIGHTS EVERY COUPLE IS HAVING***

Making it through the next few months without getting into a fight with your significant other would truly be a holiday miracle. But chances are it'll happen. Here are five fights that every couple is having right now, and tips on how to get through them . . .

#1.) WHY'D YOU DITCH ME AT THAT PARTY? If one of you is more clingy than the other, this question is bound to be asked. Holiday parties don't always involve mutual friends, and if one of you runs off, the other person might feel abandoned.

--So, if you're at a party with just YOUR friends and family, make sure everyone's relaxed and having fun before you leave your date on their own . . . and even then, don't wander far.

#2.) WHY ARE YOU DIFFERENT AROUND YOUR FAMILY? If he's acting strange, he's probably not even aware of it. People often revert back to their childhood personalities when they're around family, so bring it up gently. And DON'T call him a "mama's boy".

#3.) WHY DO WE ALWAYS SPEND THE HOLIDAYS WITH YOUR FAMILY? If you've both ALWAYS spent the holidays at home, there's bound to be a fight. So make sure things even out. Decide which holidays are most important to each of you, and compromise.

--If you try to hog every holiday, he'll end up resenting you . . . and so will his family.

#4.) WHY DO I DO ALL THE SHOPPING? Guys often get to stay in kid mode during the holidays while women shoulder the burden. One reason . . . guys HATE to shop. But don't let him off the hook. Make a list and divvy stuff up, or spend a few hours shopping together online.

#5.) YOU NEVER GET ME THE GIFT I HINTED AT. Guys never know what women are thinking, so why would the holidays be any different? If you want something, don't drop hints. Just TELL him. Getting what you want is better than being surprised by something you hate. (Yahoo.com)

TASTE TEST

ARE YOU A "WHOPPER VIRGIN"???

This week, Burger King launched a new ad campaign . . . called the "Whopper Virgin" challenge . . . which involved traveling to rural locations in Romania, Thailand and Greenland, and asking villagers to compare the Whopper with a McDonald's Big Mac.

So what's the point? The idea is that people in remote foreign locations have never eaten a burger before . . . and according to Burger King, that makes the "Whopper Virgin" challenge, quote, "the world's purest taste test." (--I bet they pick the Whopper.) (Daily Telegraph)

(--Check out the "Whopper Virgins" website here . . .)http://www.whoppervirgins.com/

WHAT ONE ARE YOU?

WHICH OF THESE EIGHT OFFICE PERSONALITIES ARE YOU???

Recently, T-Mobile in the UK hired a psychologist to interview its employees . . . to better understand how workers interact with one another. The results determined that ALL workers take on one of EIGHT distinct office personalities:

#1.) The Mother Hen: Nurturing, warm, approachable. The Mother Hen is who everyone in the office goes to for advice . . . or for a shoulder to cry on after the boss tears you a new one.

#2.) The Joker: Sociable, carefree, witty. This person uses humor to get their point across and is well-liked. The Joker's main role is to lighten the mood and to lift team morale.

#3.) The Dude: Unfazed, calming, relaxed. Nothing bothers this person, and they never get flustered . . . even when everything is falling apart. The Dude doesn't transfer stress onto other co-workers and is seen as a calming presence in the office.

#4.) The Cheerleader: Enthusiastic, optimistic, motivating. The cheerleader is always encouraging and praising other team members . . . and always gives 100%.

#5.) The Realist: Down to earth, pragmatic, logical. This person sees through the spin and tells it like it is. The Realist is probably sarcastic and has a dry sense of humor.

#6.) The Link: Sociable, flighty, connected. This person knows everyone in the office, and their social connections are just as important as the actual work.

#7.) The Geek: Technically-minded, fastidious, quiet. This person pays exceptional attention to detail, and is the most likely to see a project through to completion.

#8.) The Innovator: Creative, idealistic, resourceful. This person is all about the big picture and finding new ways to do things. But they don't get bogged down in the details . . . or worry about how to make their ideas work from a practical standpoint. (New York Times)

-- I am a little bit of all! -- Nazzy

(--You can take a look at the full T-Mobile personality report here . . .)http://www.telegraphbusinessclub.co.uk/t-mobile/files/other/Motivation_Report.pdf

NOT SO CUTE ANYMORE

THE BERLIN ZOO IS GOING TO GET RID OF KNUT THE POLAR BEAR:

Remember Knut, the adorable polar bear cub that was born two years ago at the Berlin Zoo? (--If you don't remember, Knut became an international sensation and thousands of people flooded the Berlin Zoo to see him . . . because he was just that cute.)

Well, Knut has grown up . . . and he's not that cute anymore. And that means he's not drawing tourists anymore. Anyway, since the Berlin Zoo has been unable to raise funds for a new polar bear compound . . . and since Knut's no longer a big moneymaker . . . zoo officials are now trying to ship his ugly butt off to another zoo. (London Times)

(--Take a look at Knut when he used to be cute . . . and what he's become . . . )

WORLDS OLDEST TURTLE

THE OLDEST ANIMAL ON THE PLANET IS A 176-YEAR-OLD TORTOISE NAMED JONATHAN:

Now it's time for today's "Random Animal Fact". --There's a 176-year-old tortoise named Jonathan that lives on St. Helena Island (--which is in the South Atlantic Ocean, several hundred miles off Africa's western coast).

According to animal experts, that makes Jonathan the OLDEST known animal . . . in the world. (--Pretty cool, right? But get this . . . despite Jonathan's old age, locals say he still has enough energy to regularly flirt with three younger female tortoises. 'Atta boy, Jonathan!) (Daily Telegraph)

(--Check out some pictures of Jonathan, one from around 1900 and one from the present. . .)

POPULAR HOLIDAY GIFTS

HERE ARE THE TEN MOST POPULAR HOLIDAY GIFTS THIS SEASON . . . SO FAR:

We're officially one week into the holiday shopping season . . . so we figured we'd take a look at the TEN most popular holiday gifts so far.

#10.) Apple iPod Classic, 120 GB

#9.) Panasonic KXTG cordless phone with three handsets

#8.) Tomtom One automotive GPS unit with 3.5-inch LCD screen

#7.) Apple iPod Touch, 8 GB

#6.) Motorola H375 Bluetooth headset

#5.) Garmin Nuvi 255 GPS receiver

#4.) Apple iPod Nano, 8 GB

#3.) Apple iPod Touch, 16 GB

#2.) Nintendo Wii Fitness with balance board

#1.) Canon Digital Elph 8 mega pixel camera (PR Newswire)

DON'T BUY THESE THINGS FOR WOMAN!

***FIVE GIFTS YOU SHOULD NEVER GET A WOMAN***

It's now officially the holiday season, and men everywhere are stressing over what to buy their wives and girlfriends this year. If you listen to the hints she drops, you'll be fine. But here are five things you should NEVER buy her as a gift . . .

#1.) TICKETS TO A SPORTING EVENT. If she's a HUGE football fan, it's one thing, but if she has no interest in sports at all, then buying two tickets to the playoffs is not charming or thoughtful. It just means you went shopping for yourself this year.

#2.) A VACUUM CLEANER. Even if she's been bugging you for a new one, Christmas is NOT the time to buy it. A vacuum cleaner is the least romantic gift you can buy, and it's like telling her that her main purpose in life is to clean up your mess.

#3.) A SEXY COSTUME. Halloween is over, and buying her a sexy maid outfit for Christmas is NOT appropriate. Even if she DOES like it, she'll probably be disappointed. Remember, buy her something SHE wants . . . not something YOU want.

#4.) CLOTHING THAT'S THREE SIZES TOO BIG. Women love clothes, but if you don't know her size, DON'T guess. Raid her closet, check the tags on her favorite items and THEN go to the store. If she's a size 6 and you buy a 12, you're in trouble.

#5.) A KNIFE. She might love to cook, but buying her a meat cleaver is a BAD idea. Just like with the vacuum cleaner, there's something sad about opening a gift from a significant other and finding a giant knife. It just sends the wrong message. (Yahoo.com)

NOT TOO PRACTICAL HOLIDAY GIFTS

HERE'S A LIST OF THE TEN STUPIDEST HOLIDAY GIFTS . . . FROM A WEBSITE CALLED STUPID.COM:

Every year, countless people receive holiday gifts . . . that are just plain SILLY. Anyway, we stumbled across a list of the 9 STUPIDEST gifts for this year's holiday season . . . according to a website called Stupid.com.

#9.) 2009 Dog Doo Calendar: Need I say more? $13.95.

#8.) "How to Tie a Tie" Tie: This is a regular necktie . . . with instructions on how to tie a necktie on it. $14.99.

#7.) OBAMA "Yes We Can" Opener: I hate puns, but I love a good can opener . . . so I'm conflicted on this one. $5.99.

#6.) Men's Underwear Repair Kit: When the going gets tough . . . the tough fix up their dirty, old tighty-white-ies. $9.95. (I might buy this one)

#5.) Wasabi-Flavored Gumballs: Delicious, no? $3.99.

#4.) Potty Putter: Why read a book on the toilet . . . when you can practice your golf swing? $21.99.

#3.) Mini Guitar Hero: It's just like the real "Guitar Hero" video game, only smaller & less fun. $14.99.

#2.) Wealth Redistribution 2008 Holiday Ornament: This is a gag holiday ornament . . . for the Socialist in your life. $3.99.

#1.) Screaming Chicken: If you really, truly HATE someone, then THIS is definitely what you should give them . . $9.99. (Yahoo News)

(--Check out a video of this God-awful Screaming Chicken here . . .)

(--You can pick up all these toys by performing a simple search here . . .)http://www.stupid.com/

EXPENSIVE TREE

WANT TO SEE WHAT A $1.5 MILLION CHRISTMAS TREE LOOKS LIKE???

Right now, we're in the midst of a deep worldwide recession . . . but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the beauty of the world's most expensive Christmas tree, right? Good. The tree . . . which is on display in Osaka, Japan . . . is made of 24-karat gold and is decorated with more than 240 precious jewels. So how much is this stupid thing worth? --Nearly $1.5 MILLION. (Daily Telegraph)

(--Take a look at this waste of time, energy and money. . .)

NEWS BINGO?

YOU CAN PLAY HOLIDAY BINGO JUST BY WATCHING YOUR LOCAL NEWS:

Have you noticed that your local news station runs the same old stories EVERY holiday season? Like the one about the meanie who stole some family's presents on Christmas Eve . . . or how the airport is jam-packed with holiday travelers?

Well, we found a holiday-themed Bingo card . . . with a square for each one of those same old, tired holiday "news" stories. (Fark)

(--You can print out your own Holiday News Bingo card here . . .) http://newsbingo.mystarband.net/downloads/News-Bingo.pdf

PAY FOR GOOD GRADES

WOULD YOU PAY A STUDENT FOR EVERY "A" THEY GOT???

It used to be that students worked hard in school and tried to get good grades . . . because it was what they were SUPPOSED to do. (--Plus, there's always the possibility of locking down a college scholarship.)

But I guess times have changed quite a bit, because last month, someone started a new website called GradeFund.com . . . which allows students to find sponsors who will PAY THEM for each "A" they receive in school. Seriously.

According to the website, GradeFund.com is, "a community-based revolutionary approach to student education financing that encourages academic success . . . [by] rewarding students for performing well in school."

(--Here's my issue: If you're a good student who gets good grades for your own satisfaction . . . then why should I pay you for it? And if you're a bad student who can only be bothered to work hard when someone's paying you . . . NO WAY!)(Time)

(--You can sponsor a student here . . .) http://www.gradefund.com/

TIVO GUILT???

ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM . . . TIVO GUILT???

I have a problem I'd like to discuss with you this morning. It's called "TiVo Guilt", and here's how it works . . . Every time I sit down to watch TV, I turn on my TiVo . . . which is almost always filled to capacity.

Anyway, the problem is that I want to watch EVERY show I've taped . . . because by taping an episode, I've committed myself to watching it. But I just don't have the time. So when I look at my TiVo queue and notice that I still have six or seven unwatched episodes of "Family Guy or the Simpson's" . . . I feel guilty. But I can't just erase all those unwatched episodes, because if I do that . . . then why did I bother even taping the show in the first place?

In a nutshell, my filled-up TiVo box is making me feel stressed out and overwhelmed . . . and it makes watching TV a whole lot LESS FUN. (CNN)

(Is anyone else out there suffering from "TiVo Guilt" . . . or am I the only freak who takes my TV viewing this seriously? And if you actually ARE suffering from this problem . . . how do you handle YOUR TiVo Guilt?)

NEW KID LOVE

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JON KNIGHT!

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK celebrated JONATHAN KNIGHT'S 40th birthday . . . (--yes, 40th birthday!!!) . . . at a show in L.A. last week. --The crowd joined the group in singing "Happy Birthday" . . . Then Jonathan got some hugs from some random girls . . . and A KISS ON THE LIPS FROM DONNIE WAHLBERG. For real . . . and the crowd just LOVED it. (I know a Night-Time DJ here at JYY who wishes she could have given him a kiss too!!)

(--Here's a video . . .)

HOLIDAY HIJINX

THE ITEMS IN "THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS" WOULD COST $86,609:

Every year, a company called PNC Wealth Management releases a list which tallies the total cost of all the items mentioned in the classic Christmas carol "The Twelve Days of Christmas". Here's what they came up with . . .

--12 Drummers Drumming: $2,475.20

--11 Pipers Piping: $2,284.80

--TEN Lords-a-Leaping: $4,413.61

--NINE Ladies Dancing: $4,759.19

--EIGHT Maids-a-Milking: $52.40

--SEVEN Swans-a-Swimming: $5,600

--SIX Geese-a-Laying: $240

--FIVE Golden Rings: $349.95

--FOUR Calling Birds: $599.96

--THREE French Hens: $30

--TWO turtle doves: $55

--A Partridge in a Pear Tree: $219.99

So, if you add up the cost of all the items for each of the 12 days of Christmas . . . the total cost in the carol comes to $86,609. --Overall, that's an increase of $8,508 . . . or 10.9% . . . from last year. (--In other words, the total cost of the items last year was $78,101.) (Google News)

HOLIDAY TIPS

HERE ARE SOME GUIDELINES TO FOLLOW FOR GIVING HOLIDAY TIPS:

I don't know about you, but I NEVER know how much to tip. So, to help you seem smart and generous this year, we tracked down a list of guidelines to follow when giving out holiday tips.

--Au pair: One week's pay and a gift from your child.

--Regular babysitter: One night's pay and a small gift from your child.

--Housekeeper: Up to one week's pay and (slash) or a small gift.

--Barber: Cost of one haircut or a gift.

--Dog walker: Up to one week's pay or a gift.

--Personal trainer: Up to the cost of one session or a gift.

--Pool cleaner: The cost of one cleaning to be split among the crew.

--Newspaper delivery person: $10 to $30 or a small gift.

--Mail carrier: Small gift ONLY.

--Doorman: $15 to $80 or a gift.

--Yard worker: $20 to $50 each or a gift.

--Teacher: Small gift. NO CASH. (St. Petersburg Times)

(--You can check out the complete list of holiday tipping recommendations here . . .)http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/holiday_tipping.htm

HOLIDAY GERMS

***FIVE WAYS TO AVOID GERMS DURING YOUR HOLIDAY TRAVELS***

Flu season is officially here, along with the holidays, and your chances of getting sick are even higher when you're travelling. So here are five tips to help you stay healthy during your holiday travels . . .

#1.) SIT CLOSE TO THE FRONT OF THE PLANE. Germs spread easily on planes, since people are packed together like sardines. But the ventilation systems on most planes provide better air circulation in the front than in the back. Try to get a seat near the front. And obviously, if you can afford it, first class is even better, since you won't have to deal with someone on either side of you coughing in your face.

#2.) DON'T DRINK COFFEE OR TEA WHILE YOU'RE FLYING. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, water served on airplanes is NOT the cleanest. It's usually heated but NOT boiled, which means a lot of bacteria could be right in your cup.

#3.) SANITIZE YOUR HANDS AFTER USING AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM. It's one of the dirtiest places you'll be all day. With 50 people per toilet, there's A LOT to worry about. In fact, even the TAP WATER can be filled with bacteria.

Not everyone washes their hands either, so the bathroom door is probably a hot zone. To stay germ-free, wash up, and then use hand sanitizer when you get back to your seat.

#4.) WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER USING AN ESCALATOR. Again, it's a high-traffic area, and the handrails are completely COVERED in germs. Wash your hands or use hand sanitizer as soon as you can to reduce your risk of catching something.

#5.) WASH YOUR HANDS IF YOU USE THE ATM. You can't go without cash . . . but just like with escalators and airplane bathrooms, you should sanitize your hands ASAP if you use the ATM. Keeping your hands clean is crucial when you're traveling.

Remember, whether you're at the airport, in a taxi, or in mid-flight . . . when you travel, you spend all day in contact with things that have been touched by THOUSANDS of other people. (CNN.com)

CYBER MONDAY

IT'S CYBER MONDAY:

Here are a few great sites to check today.

http://www.pricespider.com/ -- This site will show you how much the item has been going for the past few weeks. It has a really cool chart that shows you the trend of the particular item.

http://www.pricegrabber.com/ - This is a great site that allows you to compare prices. (I use this all year)

http://www.priceprotectr.com/ - This site watches the price of an item you recently purchased. You will have to sign up for this site.

COLD REMEDIES

***FIVE NATURAL COLD REMEDIES***

Flu season runs from November to March, and all the hugs and hand-shaking during the holidays don't help. About 20% of the country gets the flu each winter, and most people get more than one cold. So here are five natural ways to help your body fight it off . . .

#1.) TAKE VITAMIN C TO PREVENT COLDS. It's not a myth. Vitamin C WILL help prevent a cold. So, get it the old fashioned way with a glass of orange juice each morning, or take a vitamin supplement. Either way, you'll do a lot less sniffling.

#2.) USE DRIED THYME FOR A COUGH. If you can't stand over-the-counter cough syrup, try going herbal. Mix three tablespoons of dried thyme, 16 ounces of boiling water, and a cup of honey. One tablespoon per hour should keep your cough at bay.

#3.) USE GARLIC FOR A RUNNY NOSE. The best way to get rid of a runny nose is to clear out your sinuses. And garlic does just that. When you're sick, add it to your meals. You'll start to feel better, AND it can help prevent you from getting sick again.

#4.) USE LEAFY GREENS FOR NOSEBLEEDS. Dry, indoor air coupled with a bad sneeze can bring on nosebleeds in no time. But a daily dose of leafy greens gives your body enough Vitamin K to strengthen capillaries and make your blood clot more quickly.

#5.) DRINK TEA FOR A SORE THROAT. This one's as old as time itself, but that doesn't mean it won't work. Add in honey and lemon juice for even more relief, or pick up some jujube tea (--pronounced Jew-jew-bee), which is loaded with Vitamin C. (Yahoo.com)

BEFORE & AFTER

CHECK OUT THIS "BEFORE AND AFTER" MAGAZINE COVER:

If you're frustrated that your lady doesn't look like one of those hot models you're always seeing in magazines, then you need to get your head straight by checking out this "before and after" picture of a magazine cover model who's been retouched. (Reddit)

TEEN TROUBLE

EARLY ONE IN FOUR TEENS HAVE STOLEN FROM THEIR PARENTS IN THE PAST YEAR:

Parents . . . you probably LIKE to think that your teenage kids are perfect little angels. But according to a new survey . . . there's a pretty good chance they're NOT.

Listen to this . . .

36% of teens admit they've used the Internet to plagiarize an assignment . . . And 64% admit they've cheated on a test in the past year.

30% of teens . . . or nearly ONE in THREE . . . admit they've shoplifted something from a store in the past year.

ONE in FIVE teens have stolen from a friend in the past year, and 23% . . . or nearly ONE in FOUR teens . . . have stolen from a parent or family member in the past year.

But even after hearing all this, 93% of the teens still say they're satisfied with their personal ethics and character . . . and 77% think that, "when it comes to doing what's right, I'm better than most people I know." (Yahoo News)

HOW BIZARRE NEWS (12/01/08)

WOULD YOU HANG AN ORNAMENT ON YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE THAT WAS MADE FROM . . . REINDEER DROPPINGS???

Let's be honest . . . a lot of Christmas ornaments are tacky pieces of crap. But visitors to the Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington, Illinois, can buy Christmas ornaments that are LITERALLY pieces of crap. That's because the gift shop at the Miller Park Zoo is selling Christmas ornaments . . . that are made out of DROPPINGS collected from the zoo's two reindeer. Seriously. According to zoo officials, the ornaments . . . which they call "Magical Reindeer Gem Ornaments" . . . are created from droppings that have been dried, clear-coated, and either painted or rolled in glitter.

The reindeer dropping ornaments cost $5 apiece. (Yahoo News)

====================================================================

THERE'S A GERMAN CANDY COMPANY THAT MAKES "CHOCOLATE JESUS" FIGURINES:

Recently, a 54-year-old German guy named Frank Oynhausen decided that Christmas had become too secular and commercial. So, in an attempt to restore some of the holiday's traditional religious values, Frank started the "Sweet Jesus" chocolate company, which specializes in making Jesus figurines . . . out of CHOCOLATE. (Yahoo News)

So I guess the question here is: Are these chocolate Jesus figurines sacrilegious . . . or sacri-delicious? HI-YO!!!)

(--If you speak German, you can order your own Chocolate Jesus here . . .) http://www.theobroma-cacao.de/shop/deutsch/original-goldjesus.html

====================================================================

THERE'S A NEW GENETIC TEST THAT CAN TELL WHICH SPORTS YOUR TODDLER WILL BE GOOD AT:

Parents . . . I understand that you want to give your kids every advantage in life. But THIS is just absurd . . . A company called Atlas Sports Genetics is offering a new genetic test that can tell which sports your TODDLER will be good at.

Now, I know what you're thinking . . . "How are they able to determine this?" It has something to do with a gene called ACTN3. Studies have shown that there's a link between ACTN3 and certain athletic abilities. By taking a simple DNA test, scientists can determine whether your toddler will be best at SPEED and POWER sports like sprinting or football, ENDURANCE sports like long-distance running or swimming . . . or some combination of the two. (International Herald Tribune)

(--You can buy an athletic talent test kit for $149 here . . .)http://atlasgene.com/index.php?main_page=products_all