Thursday, May 12, 2011

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (05-12-11)

Katie Holmes Is Still Not Pregnant . . . At Least That's Her Story:

"OK!" magazine is running a big cover story this week about KATIE HOLMES that says, "It's Official: 'Yes, I'm Pregnant'." (--You can see the cover here.) (OK!) --There's only one problem with the story, and I'm betting you can guess what it is: Katie's NOT pregnant. Her rep even told "OK!" that when the magazine asked him to comment on the story. But they ran with it anyway.


Lindsay Lohan Pleaded No Contest:

As expected, LINDSAY LOHAN pleaded no contest to her misdemeanor theft charge yesterday. Actually, her attorney pleaded on her behalf. Lindsay wasn't at the hearing. --In pleading no contest, Lindsay didn't have to admit guilt . . . but it still counts as a conviction. --Lindsay will not receive any jail time beyond the 120 days she was already sentenced to for violating her 2007 DUI probation. --She's been ordered to begin serving that sentence by June 17th. She has applied for home detention . . . but there's no word yet if she'll get it. Even if she doesn't, she'll probably only end up serving about two weeks. --Lindsay won't know if she gets house arrest until she shows up at the jail to be booked. --If she IS under house arrest, Lindsay won't be allowed to knock any time off her 480 hours of community service while she's being detained. --The judge also ordered Lindsay to attend some kind of shoplifting program and undergo psychiatric counseling. She said, quote, "I don't think the root of her problem is substance abuse. She has other problems and I believe she self-medicates."


Lindsay Lohan's Post-Sentencing Statement:

Following her sentencing yesterday, LINDSAY LOHAN released the following statement . . . quote, "I am glad to be able to put this past me and move on with my life and my career. --"I support the judge's decision and hold myself accountable for being in this situation. --"I have already started my community service at the Downtown Women's Center and thank everyone there for their warm welcome. --"I hope to be able to fulfill my obligation without any press attention. I think the media spotlight should be on issues such as homelessness and domestic violence instead of on me."


The L.A. County Probation Department Thinks Lindsay Lohan is a Drug Addict:

The judge overseeing LINDSAY LOHAN'S theft case may not think Lindsay is a drug addict, but the L.A. County Probation Department does.--The department released a report yesterday saying, quote, "Substance abuse is the root of the defendant's problems." --The report also lists all the drugs Lindsay has been taking. They include Trazadone and Zoloft for depression . . . Nexium for heartburn . . . Zyrtec for allergies . . . two antibiotics . . . and the birth control medication Yaz. --The report also states that Lindsay failed an alcohol test on February 8th . . . a month after she left the Betty Ford Clinic. --And it claims that witnesses saw Lindsay drinking the night she and some of her fellow patients snuck out of Betty Ford. (--That's the night Lindsay got into a scuffle with an employee while trying to sneak back IN.) (--You can read the probation report here.)


Charlie Sheen's Replacement on "Two and a Half Men" Was Almost Hugh Grant:

CHARLIE SHEEN was almost replaced on "Two and a Half Men" by . . . HUGH GRANT. --Sources say the show was in SERIOUS talks with Hugh . . . and while negotiations ultimately stalled over "creative differences", there's still at least a remote possibility he could join the show. --There were some reports yesterday claiming Hugh was offered more than $1 million an episode to do the show . . . but a source says no one under consideration for the part would make anywhere near that. --Whoever they choose, they'll need to do it soon. CBS is presenting its fall lineup next Wednesday.


Denise Richards Won't Let Her Daughters Spend Weekends with Charlie Sheen:

DENISE RICHARDS has done a good job so far of keeping her daughters isolated from CHARLIE SHEEN'S insanity. And she's not giving up that fight. --Charlie dragged Denise to a law office earlier this week to ask if their daughters, 7-year-old Sam and 5-year-old Lola, can spend weekends with him. She told him NO. --A source says, quote, "Denise wants Charlie to be healthy. She wants the girls to see him, but certain behaviors need to be shut down." (--TMZ got video of Charlie and Denise leaving the office . . . separately, of course. Check it out here. WARNING!!! There's some bleeped profanity from Charlie.)


Bree Olson is Posing for "Playboy":

Since she was a PORNO STAR before she became one of CHARLIE SHEEN'S goddesses, it's probably not such big news that we're about to see BREE OLSON naked again. --But we will be seeing Bree . . . a.k.a. Rachel Oberlin . . . nude in the pages of "Playboy" soon. She reportedly shot a, quote, "classy" spread for an upcoming issue. There's no word when it'll run.


Bristol Palin Admits She Had Surgery On Her Face . . . But She Says It Was Corrective Surgery:

BRISTOL PALIN is admitting that she had work done on her face . . . but she says the surgery was CORRECTIVE, not cosmetic. --She says, quote, "Yes, it improved the way I look, but this surgery was necessary for medical reasons . . . so my jaw and teeth could properly realign. I don't obsess over my face." --But she adds, quote, "I'm absolutely thrilled with the results. I look older, more mature and don't have as much of a chubby little baby face." -She added that she wouldn't have elective plastic surgery unless, quote, "I got in an accident or something terrible got disfigured." --Bristol says she went under the knife last December, after she got the boot from "Dancing With the Stars".


Check Out Will Smith's $2 Million Movie Trailer:

WILL SMITH'S trailer on the set of "Men In Black 3" is nicer than most people's HOMES. --It's a $2 million, 1,150-square-foot rig with marble floors, a lounge and bar . . . a movie room with a 100-inch screen . . . an all-granite bathroom . . . a large bedroom . . . and offices for Will's assistants and writing staff. --It's 53 feet long, has 22 wheels and weighs about 30 tons. He's renting it for $9,000 a week. (--Check out some pictures of this beast here.) (Sources: People, New York Post) --Oh, and Will is also renting a 55-foot trailer with a full gym inside. --There was just one problem with the trailer: The movie is filming in Manhattan right now . . . and the locals hated it. --One resident said, quote, "The smell that comes along with it is disgusting. It's like living in a gas station." --Another one said, quote "How would Will Smith feel if I parked that thing out in front of his house? People forget this is a residential neighborhood, not a film lot." --Last night, the producers said the trailer had been moved to private property.


Donald Trump Finally Explains How He Does His Hair:

Give DONALD TRUMP credit: PRESIDENT OBAMA came forth with his birth certificate, and now Donald is clearing up the biggest mystery surrounding him . . . how he does his hair. --In an interview with "Rolling Stone", Donald says, quote, "Okay, what I do is, wash it with Head and Shoulders. I don't dry it, though. I let it dry by itself. It takes about an hour. --"Then I read paper and things . . . I also watch TV . . . the 'Today' show did a beautiful piece on me yesterday." --He adds, quote, "Okay, so I've done all that. I then comb my hair. Yes, I do use a comb." --Yes, the combing. This is where most people want the nitty-gritty on Donald's technique. He says, quote, "Do I comb it forward? No, I don't comb it forward. I actually don't have a bad hairline. --"When you think about it, it's not bad. I mean, I get a lot of credit for comb-overs. But it's not really a comb-over. It's sort of a little bit forward and back. I've combed it the same way for years. Same thing, every time." --Trump also reveals that he has only one real vice: Soda. He says, quote, "I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. I've never had a drink, never had a joint, never had any drugs, never even had a cup of coffee . . . --"I will say, though, that I like a little caffeine. People assume I'm a boiler ready to explode, but I actually have very low blood pressure, which is shocking to people. --"I'll drink water. Sometimes tomato juice, which I like. Sometimes orange juice, which I like. I'll drink different things. But the Coke or Pepsi boosts you up a little." --Here's something else Donald would like you to know about himself: He's nice. He says, quote, "I don't want to ruin my image by saying this, but I'm a much nicer person than people understand. --"I like to do the right thing and help people. But when people are disloyal to me . . . I hold a grudge. I have the longest memory. I always kick back. I believe in that." (--You can read the complete "Rolling Stone" interview here.)


The Sexy Plus-Size Model Who Romanced DJ Qualls in the Movie "Road Trip" Died . . . After Knee Surgery:

Tragic news to report this morning: MIA AMBER DAVIS . . . a plus-size model and actress . . . died Tuesday in Los Angeles. She was only 36. --Mia is probably best known as Rhonda, the candy-coated African American fox who seduces actor DJ QUALLS in the movie "Road Trip". (--Here's that classic scene. WARNING!!! There's some adult content in this clip.) --Qualls issued a statement saying, quote, "Mia Davis, the love interest in my first movie, 'Road Trip' has passed. I'm so sad. She will always be a meaningful person in my life path. RIP." --There's no word yet on the cause of death . . . but Mia had undergone what was supposed to be routine knee surgery the day before to correct an old college basketball injury. --Mia's husband, Michael Yard, was in New York when his wife died. He says he spoke with Mia Tuesday morning and she seemed fine. But hours later a cousin called and told him Mia was back in the hospital due to dizziness. --Soon after that, he got the call that she had died. He says, quote, "I want to know what happened to my wife." (--Check out some pictures of Mia here.) (Google Images)


NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND

For Friday the 13th It's the Vampire Movie "Priest" vs. the Wedding Comedy "Bridesmaids":

#1.) "Priest" (PG-13)

Paul Bettany plays a warrior priest trying to rescue his niece from an army of vampires. So the Friday the 13th release date should help. The niece is Phil Collins' daughter, Lily Collins, who you'd remember from "The Blind Side". --"Nikita" star Maggie Q fights by his side. And check out the vampire pedigree of the rest of the cast: "Twilight's" Cam Gigandet, "True Blood's" Stephen Moyer, and Christopher Plummer, who played Van Helsing in "Dracula 2000". --Not to mention the fact that Lily is dating "Twilight" werewolf Taylor Lautner. (Trailer)


#2.) "Bridesmaids" (R)

"SNL's" Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph star in the latest Judd Apatow-produced comedy. Maya's the bride. Kristen is her jealous maid of honor. She also co-wrote it. --Her character gets into ridiculous situations because she's worried about being replaced by a much hotter bridesmaid who's played by Rose Byrne. --You'll recognize Ellie Kemper from "The Office" among the other bridesmaids, but the REAL star of the show is succulent Melissa McCarthy from "Mike & Molly". (Trailer)


#3.) "Everything Must Go" (R) (Limited)

Will Ferrell's wife throws him out, but instead of leaving, he holds a massive yard sale with the help of a chubby neighborhood kid played by Christopher Jordan Wallace, better known as the 15-year-old son of the Notorious B.I.G. (--The hot brunette in the trailer is Rebecca Hall, the Vicky in "Vicky Christina Barcelona".)


#4.) "Hesher" (R) (Limited)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Hesher, a guy who moves into a family's garage without asking. Rainn Wilson's mourning the death of his wife, so he can't muster the energy to kick him out . . . and Hesher basically shocks the family into living again. --Natalie Portman produced it, and also stars in it as a nerdy supermarket cashier who befriends Rainn Wilson's son and defends him from a bully. (Trailer) (--Here's an UNCENSORED scene where Natalie Portman gets in a fender bender and Hesher comes to her rescue. Check out Hesher's sweet back tattoo.)


#5.) "The Big Bang" (R) (Limited)

Antonio Banderas plays a private detective hired to find a missing stripper in a case that somehow involves stolen diamonds, porn . . . and particle physics. --Snoop Dogg has a cameo as a porn director, and the missing stripper is played by "Resident Evil's" Sienna Guillory. (--That's Autumn Reeser, who plays Katie on "No Ordinary Family", enjoying a sex scene with Antonio Banderas in the trailer.)
David Hasselhoff Has Joined the Cast of "Piranha 3DD":

DAVID HASSELHOFF has joined the cast of "Piranha 3DD". --He joins Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd and Paul Scheer . . . who are all returning from "Piranha 3D" . . . as well as newcomer GARY BUSEY. The movie is scheduled to hit theaters in November.


Olivia Wilde Would Love to Be the New Lara Croft:

The "Tomb Raider" franchise is getting a reboot . . . but there's no word yet who'll replace ANGELINA JOLIE as Lara Croft. --A lot of people think it should be OLIVIA WILDE . . . and she's totally down with that idea. --She says, quote, "That would be so awesome. I love Lara Croft. As far as I know right now, I'm not playing [her]. But that's really cool that people think I should."


The Situation Has Been Hurt By His Dad's Anti-Situation Rants:

THE SITUATION is NOT happy that his dad, Frank Sorrentino, is ripping him on YouTube. --The Situation's rep says that he's, quote, "Extremely saddened by his estranged father's actions . . . [Frank] has unfortunately decided to go public . . . to garner himself media attention." --The rep adds that the rest of The Situation's family . . . including his mother . . . remain "united" with The Situation, quote, "under these hurtful circumstances." --By the way, Frank is NOT done. He's currently selling the rights to a tell-all book about The Situation. He explains, quote, "I think people should know what I know. Hard core partying, drugs, sex, crime elements, you name it, it's in there. . . --"I'm calling Mike on his [crap]. I covered up for Mike his entire life and when I needed his help he left me hanging." --One of Frank's "business associates" tells TMZ that Frank is upset because his son wouldn't help him pay his medical insurance. Supposedly, the Situation immediately responded with a 'no,' and added, quote, "Move to Florida and go on welfare." --all of Frank's classy, anti-Situation rants can be found on his website, TheConfrontationSite.com. (---***WARNING***: These videos are UNCENSORED, and contain quite a bit of profanity.)


The Daytime Emmy Nominees Have Been Announced:

The nominees for "The 38th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards" were announced yesterday . . . and for the second straight year, "General Hospital" received the most nominations, with 21. --And also for the second year in a row, "The Young and the Restless" came in second, with 20. The two soaps that ABC just canceled also fared well. "All My Children" had 13 nominations . . . and "One Life to Live" had 12. --That's a lot of love for what is apparently a dying genre. In fact, there was a rumor recently that ABC might scrap "General Hospital" as well, to make room for a KATIE COURIC talk show. (--ABC already said they're replacing "All My Children" and "One Life to Live" with two "View"-type panel talk shows, about food and healthy living.) --"The Ellen DeGeneres Show" led all talk shows with 12 nominations. "The View" and the "Today" show picked up six each . . . with the "The Oprah Winfrey Show" coming next with five. --JON STEWART and STEPHEN COLBERT'S hilarious "Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear" scored four nominations. --This year's "Daytime Emmys" will air live on June 19th on CBS. WAYNE BRADY is hosting. (--You can find a full list of the nominees at EmmyOnline.org.) (--At this link, you'll find a list of the most nominated shows and networks . . . and at this link, you'll find a complete breakdown of all the categories.)


Fox Has Axed "Breaking In" . . . Or, Christian Slater Is a Failure Again:

Fox announced a bunch of cancellations yesterday . . . so if you like random Fox shows that no one else is watching, prepare yourself for some bad news. --Fox has dumped: "Lie to Me", "Human Target", "Breaking In", "The Chicago Code" and "Traffic Light".
-"Breaking In" sticks out to me, not because it was good . . . I never watched it . . . but because it signals yet another TV failure for CHRISTIAN SLATER. This time, he lasted just six episodes. -In 2008, his NBC drama "My Own Worst Enemy" lasted nine episodes, and then his ABC mystery series "The Forgotten" lasted 17 episodes. (--Christian should do a CBS crime drama. If that doesn't work, then he just needs to stop.)
Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"NBA Playoffs: Hawks vs. Bulls" [Eastern Conference Semifinals Game 6] . . . 8:00 to 10:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The Atlanta Hawks host the Chicago Bulls.)

--"Music Builds: CMT Disaster Relief Concert" . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. Eastern on CMT. (--A concert to benefit flood, storm and tornado victims. Performers will include Alabama, Ronnie Dunn, Lady Antebellum, Tim McGraw, and Keith Urban.)

--"American Idol" [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Jordin Sparks performs and Steven Tyler premieres his solo video "(It) Feels So Good".)

--"The Vampire Diaries" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW.

--"Community" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on NBC.

--"The Office" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on NBC. (--Dwight becomes acting manager and implements some overly harsh methods.)

--"CSI" [11th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.

--"Nikita" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW.

--"Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV. (--Justin Bieber delivers the dance challenges to the five remaining crews.)

--"Outsourced" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.


George Michael Is Recording a New Album . . . with a "Gay Collective":

GEORGE MICHAEL has announced that he's recording a new album. (--And yeah, it DOES get more interesting than that.) --And George revealed that he'll be receiving some help from friends . . . GAY friends. Or as he's calling them, a "gay collective." --Sadly, there's no word on which artists he has on his gaydar for this. We also don't know if this "gay collective" will be specifically recognized on the album . . . or if they'll just be guest artists, who happen to be gay. --The album is being described as a "dance-influenced pop record," which is different than anything George has done in the past. --He pompously said, quote, "As an artist I'm at the stage where I'm not interested or excited by repeating former successes."


(NC-17) Steven Tyler Says Steven Adler Was "Dreaming" When He Complemented the Size of His Junk:

Earlier this week, STEVEN ADLER complemented the size of STEVEN TYLER'S manhood . . . saying, quote, "After seeing Steven Tyler's rig . . . with five different girls' hands wrapped around it . . . I'm lucky if I take my clothes off at all after that. --"I was devastated." (--Here's video.) --Well, Steven Tyler has NO IDEA how Steven Adler would know anything about his junk . . . and says that the guy must be "dreaming." --In a radio interview, Steven Tyler said, quote, "You know what?! That's terrible. First of all, I've never been with a guy when I've been with three or four women. --"I just don't swing that way . . . I'm sorry. Thank god I got sober. I might have wound up . . . who knows?! I wasn't that promiscuous, let's just say. --"[Steven Adler] was dreaming about my schlong." (--You can listen to these comments, here. The part about the junk starts at the 9:15 mark.) --By the way, Tyler says he's working on an album with Aerosmith this summer that comes out "the first of next year" . . . and they're touring in November and December.


1980s One-Hit Wonders: Where Are They Now?

The "New York Daily News" must be feeling a little nostalgic, because they put together a list called 1980s One-Hit Wonders: Where Are They Now --Over 30 acts made the list, but the "Daily News" doesn't really say where all of them are now. (--They may have just been thinking aloud when they wrote that part.)

--Some of the "one-hit wonders" are:

--Frankie Goes to Hollywood, "Relax"

--Dead or Alive, "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)"

--Tommy Tutone, "867-5309 / Jenny"

--Flock of Seagulls, "I Ran So Far Away"

--Soft Cell, "Tainted Love"

--A-Ha, "Take On Me"

--Culture Club, "Karma Chameleon"

(--You can find the whole list, and their occasionally informative "where are they now?" write-ups, here. Unfortunately, the list is in slideshow format.)


Beyoncé Is Calling Her Next Album "4" . . . As a Tribute to Her Fans, Herself, and / or Her Laziness:

BEYONCÉ has titled her next album "4" . . . yes, just the number 4. --As hard as it is to believe, "4" was actually an INSPIRED title. And Beyoncé is crediting her fans with dreaming it up. --She says, quote, "Everywhere I look, I see them calling it '4'. I had a whole other name and concept, but I keep seeing that the fans love the name '4' . . . and I thought it would be a really nice thing to let them name the record." --I'm not sure if Beyoncé realizes this . . . but her fans were just calling it "4" because it's her fourth album. It was just a placeholder until she came up with something more creative, and revealed it. --Regardless, "4" also works for Beyoncé, because it's somewhat of a lucky number. She explains, quote, "We all have special numbers in our lives, and 4 is that for me. --"It's the day I was born. My mother's birthday, and a lot of my friends' birthdays are on the fourth . . . April 4th (or 4/4) is my wedding date." (--Wow. How lucky that the fans picked that title out!) --And if all else fails to make any sense, it's still her fourth album. So that works . . . it's just a little lazy, right?


The Beastie Boys Had the Highest Debut of Eight New Albums in the Top Ten . . . But They Still Couldn't Touch Adele:

For just the third time in history, EIGHT new albums debuted in the Top Ten on the "Billboard" chart. But none of them could take down ADELE. She sold another 155,000 copies of "21" to hold onto the #1 spot for another week. --The BEASTIE BOYS had the week's highest debut. They hit second place with their new disc, "Hot Sauce Committee Part 2", which sold 128,000 copies to beat the latest "Now!" compilation and J-Lo's new album, among others.


Nicki Minaj Won't Change, Regardless of Whether She's Doing a Pop Tour or a Rap Tour:

NICKI MINAJ just toured with LIL WAYNE, and she's about to hit the road with BRITNEY SPEARS, who's obviously a completely different artist. But while Nicki does plan on "expanding" her show a little, she isn't changing her approach. --She says, quote, "People think Nicki's going to completely change . . . I think that's the biggest misconception. I think people don't understand that I remain myself, whether I'm on a hip-hop tour or a pop tour. --"The Wayne tour to me was a pop tour. Most people probably think that they're only gonna see black faces in the audience for him, but we see everyone in that audience. 80% of the crowd is everything but black. To me, hip-hop is pop. --"They've merged. Everyone listens to rap. I think it's all the same thing."


Taylor Swift Thinks Celebrities Who Complain About the Paparazzi Are "Obnoxious":

TAYLOR SWIFT totally gets that you give up your private life when you become a celebrity. She drove that point home yesterday during her appearance on "Ellen". --She said, quote, "I think it's just obnoxious if I complain about anything. I hear other people talk about, 'Oh, the intrusions on my privacy.' It's like there are a million other jobs you could have had. --"For me, I've just come to the acceptance of the fact that this is my life. For me it's just, live your life and if people take pictures . . . you laugh about it in the car afterwards."



THURSDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS

Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


Do we have to suffer through another Royal Wedding already? PRINCE HARRY has reportedly told his girlfriend that he wants to settle down. (Full Story)


Check out JENNIFER ANISTON in her bra and panties in the trailer for the upcoming dark comedy "Horrible Bosses". She looks FANTASTIC . . . the movie looks pretty funny . . . and COLIN FARRELL looks hilarious with a comb-over. (Trailer)



ANGELINA JOLIE has confirmed that her latest tattoo is the coordinates of BRAD PITT'S birthplace, Shawnee, Oklahoma. (Full Story)


On her website, GWYNETH PALTROW listed salvia . . . that stuff MILEY CYRUS got high off of . . . as one of several herbs growing in her garden. She didn't say, however, if she uses it for its hallucinogenic properties. (Website)


SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR thinks the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" movie they're making without her and creator JOSS WHEDON is, quote, "a horrible idea." (Full Story)


Here's a fake trailer that mixes "Watchmen" with "My Little Pony". (Video)


Last night on "Survivor", GRANT was voted out and sent to Redemption Island (Delicious Audio #1) . . . and RALPH was sent to the jury. (Delicious Audio #2)


DICK VAN DYKE and MARY TYLER MOORE will appear together on today's "Rachael Ray" show. (--Of course, they played a couple on "The Dick Van Dyke Show" back in the '60s.) (Full Story)


PINK FLOYD is rolling out an "extensive reissues campaign" called "Why Pink Floyd…?". As part of it, they'll be releasing re-mastered versions of their classic songs, and "new" old songs that have never seen the light of day. (Full Story)


GUCCI MANE'S rep says he'll be out of jail at the end of June. (Full Story)


Word has it that WILL and JADA PINKETT SMITH will be the guests on the final episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" on May 25th. (Full Story)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

BIN LADEN IS STILL DEAD

Need Another Reason To Hate Bin Laden? He Liked Girls Who Were "Young, Preferably Aged 16-to-18":

I know that other countries have different standards for when someone is and isn't underage. But that doesn't mean I'm going to support something like THIS. --Rashad Mohammed Saeed Ismael is a sheikh from Yemen who worked as OSAMA BIN LADEN'S matchmaker when bin Laden wanted a fifth wife in 1999. --And bin Laden said he was looking for someone, quote, "pious, dutiful, well-mannered, from a decent family . . . and young, preferably aged 16-to-18." --He also says bin Laden wanted someone who was, quote, "patient . . . she will have to endure my exceptional circumstances." --Ismael matched him up with a 17-year-old in Yemen named Amal Ahmed al-Sadah. --Bin Laden paid her family a bride price of $5,000, and she married him. Less than two years later she went into hiding with him after 9/11. --She was at bin Laden's compound when we raided it and is now being held by the Pakistani authorities. (The Guardian)


"Football-Sized" Cocoa Fruit Has Been Found In Ecuador:

(--Note: With chocolate, the word for the tree, the fruit, and the beans is "cacao," pronounced 'Ka-Kow.' The powder from the beans used to make chocolate is "cocoa," pronounced 'Co-Co.' But 'cocoa' can be used for all of them. Got it?) --Now even nature is joining the battle to keep us chubbier than ever . . . --Most of the chocolate we eat is a little bit of cocoa and a lot of chemicals, and there are a few different types of cocoa: White beans taste better and are rarer . . . while purple beans have more of a bitter aftertaste. --But the cocoa trees with the white beans seemed to go extinct because of disease . . . making purer chocolate incredibly hard to come by. --UNTIL NOW. An undiscovered forest of cocoa trees with white beans has just been found in the jungles of Ecuador. And they have cocoa fruit the size of FOOTBALLS. And supposedly they're going to completely change the entire chocolate industry. --Michelle Tampakis of the Institute of Culinary Education says this discovery would be like French winemakers finding a brand new, better tasting grape. It's that much of a game-changer. --Because of the beans, you could soon be seeing better quality, better tasting chocolate. But since they're pretty rare . . . you're probably going to have to pay more for it. (CBS News)


Forget Double Stuf Oreos! Get Ready For Triple-Double Oreos:

If you've ever been mowing through an entire package of Double Stuf Oreos and said to yourself, "These are good, but couldn't they go even bigger?" . . . your day has finally arrived. --Nabisco has announced that they're about to unveil a bigger, better Oreo . . . TRIPLE-DOUBLE OREOS. --What you get is an Oreo cookie . . . a layer of traditional Oreo filling . . . another cookie . . . a layer of Oreo chocolate cream filling . . . and finally, one more cookie. It's like the club sandwich of Oreos. --They're set to come out this summer. (Today) (--Here's a picture of the packaging, which shows off one of the Triple Double Oreos.)


Word of the Day: Chocolate Amendment:

chocolate amendment (noun) /chawk lut uh mend ment/ - an amendment to the "Five-Second Rule" that allows you a 30-second grace period to "safely" pick up something chocolate off the ground. Because it's just that good. --Example: I spilled all of my Raisinets on the floor of the movie theater and managed to pick up at least three-quarters of them in 30 seconds. And thanks to the chocolate amendment to the Five-Second Rule, I was clear to eat 'em all.
Check Out the iPhone App That Shows You What You'd Look Like With a Breast Enhancement:

Here's a great iPhone app for EVERY woman . . . whether you're considering a breast enhancement, or you just want to laugh at what it would look like with two watermelons on your chest. --A plastic surgeon in New Orleans created a free iPhone app called iAugment, which shows you what you'd look like with different sized implants. You just take a photo . . . it works best if you're in a bra or bathing suit . . . and the app inflates you. --The photos come out looking surprisingly good. You can test all different breast sizes, and even immediately post your photos to Facebook. (Stylelist) (--Check out some demo photos of how it works, here.)


(NC-17) A Study Finds That Love Toy Sales Will Match Smartphone Sales For the Next Decade:

People are addicted to their phones. We know this because people talk about it. People are a bit less loud about how much they're addicted to their VIBRATING and usually CHOCOLATE-COLORED love toys. But that addiction is JUST as real. --A new study by the Hewson Group in England found that even as smartphones become more and more popular over the next decade, sales of love toys are going to keep right up with them. --By 2021 there should be about 400 million smartphones sold worldwide . . . and the same amount of love toys. They project that the average woman who uses toys will be spending $300 per year on them in the next decade. (Xbiz)


Only One in Four High School Yearbooks Still Features "Most Likely To Succeed" . . . Because It Puts Too Much Pressure On the Winner:

We just LOVE coddling our kids today. God forbid we actually tell them we expect them to make something of themselves. --According to a recent study, only about one out of four high school yearbooks still features the classic "Most Likely To Succeed" award. --Twenty years ago, more than three in four yearbooks featured it. --And apparently the reason is that we're afraid to give a kid a label that will HAUNT them for the rest of their life: Always pushing them to be a success and making them feel like a failure if they're not an NFL star-turned-doctor-turned-senator. --A survey by the website MemoryLane.com also found that about one out of three people who were named "Most Likely To Succeed" back in high school say it was a, quote, "curse." Two in five say it was a, quote, "inspiration." --30-year-old Blake Atwood of Irving, Texas, is one of the people who said it was a curse. He was voted "Most Likely To Succeed" by his classmates back in 1998, and he works as a copywriter for a law firm now. --Quote, "Being noosed with 'most likely to succeed' is like lugging an albatross to every job interview, new relationship, or endeavor." (Wall Street Journal)


Two Middle School Students Were Suspended For Making 'Obscene Gestures' On the Bus . . . But it Was Flatulence?

Well, we've now reached the point where our kids can't even PASS GAS without the school freaking out. --Last Thursday, two 13-year-old boys were on the school bus, headed for Canal Winchester Middle School in central Ohio. Their names haven't been released. But on the bus, both of the boys let out some FLATULENCE. --As you'd expect, the kids on the bus didn't just sit there, stone-faced, staring straight ahead . . . they laughed and yelled and opened windows. --Apparently, this wasn't the first time these two boys had passed gas on the bus . . . they'd done it a few weeks earlier. The bus driver had warned them not to do it again. But they did. --So when they got to the school, the bus driver reported them to the vice principal. And he gave both boys mandatory ONE-DAY SUSPENSIONS from the bus for, quote, "obscene gestures in violation of the student code of conduct." --James Nichols is the father of one of the boys. He says the school, quote, "suggested [his] son should hold his gas on this hour-long bus ride if, in fact, he has gas." (Columbus Dispatch)


In Michigan, a Woman Loses an Uncontested School Board Election Because She Didn't Bother To Vote For Herself:

Ultimately, I think it's for the best that this woman lost this election. Because she's clearly apathetic toward politics and all about passing the buck. --Lisa Osborn was running UNCONTESTED for a seat on the Bentley, Michigan Board of Education on May 3rd. And she lost. Because she didn't get a single vote . . . not even her own. --Lisa was a write-in candidate for the school board seat. So she just needed one person to write her name down to win . . . but no one did. --As for why she didn't vote for herself, Lisa skipped voting to go to her son's baseball game at Flint Southwestern Academy. --She says, quote, "I [thought I] would have gotten a vote. I had plenty of people I know that would have gone up there and voted." --Toby Bauldry is the secretary of the Board and she says she's HAPPY that Lisa lost because, quote, "she couldn't find the time to go and vote for herself." --The Board will now take applications, conduct interviews, and appoint someone to the vacant seat. Lisa says she's going to apply and try to get the seat that way. (Flint Journal)
(NC-17) The Fire Department Had To Rescue an Elderly Man Whose Testes Got Caught in His Shower Chair:

Look, people joke about how old men's testes droop so much, you'd think they'd drag on the ground . . . but those things can be dangerous. Just look at this guy. --His name and age weren't given, we only know he's an elderly man in Tooting, England, in the south part of London. --Last week he was showering, and he uses one of those plastic shower chairs that have slats in the seat. Basically, they look like plastic lawn chairs. --Well . . . as the man showered, his man-sack slipped through one of the slats. And got TRAPPED.--The fire department had to come to his house and cut the chair to free his testes. There's no word on who called the fire department. --The man was briefly taken to the hospital to be checked out, but he was fine. (Wandsworth Guardian)


MEATBALL CRIMINALS

The Guy With the Sexual Fetish For Slashing Exercise Balls Has Been Arrested Yet Again:

33-year-old Christopher Neil Bjerkness of Duluth, Minnesota has one of the STRANGEST FETISHES I've ever heard of. And trust me, in this job, you hear about a LOT of fetishes. --Christopher gets sexually excited by slashing exercise balls with a knife. --Yep. For whatever reason, that turns him on. And it's gotten him in a lot of trouble in the past. So much trouble that he got his own police nickname . . . "The Duluth Ball Slasher." --In 2005, he was convicted of first-degree criminal damage for using a knife to slash exercise balls at the University of Minnesota's Sports and Health Center. --Then, in 2009, he was convicted of third-degree burglary for breaking into a physical therapy clinic in Duluth and slashing more exercise balls there. --And now, it's happened again. --On Sunday afternoon, Christopher was arrested for breaking into a school called Chester Creek Academy with the plan to . . . slash some exercise balls. --The police got there before he could knife any of the balls in the room. Christopher was arrested, with charges pending. (Duluth News Tribune)


A Man Was Arrested After Whole Foods Told Him To Stop Taking So Many Free Samples . . . And He Put an Employee In the Vulcan Death Grip:

Whole Foods is pretty good about putting out free samples. Because they know they're crack dealers . . . you taste one bite of a $20 wheel of Gouda and you're going to have to buy it. --But when you abuse their samples, they ALSO handle that like a crack dealer . . . and they ain't havin' it. --On Monday afternoon, at a Whole Foods in Hinsdale, Illinois, a 66-year-old man was just going to town on the free samples. And he wasn't doing it in a sanitary way . . . he had both hands going back and forth into the cheese bin. --A 29-year-old female employee came up and asked him to stop abusing the free samples. --And he responded by . . . putting her in the VULCAN DEATH GRIP. The man pinched the woman's shoulder and started squeezing. Then he started shaking her. --Other people broke up the fight and called the police. The man was arrested and charged with battery. (Chicago Tribune Local) (--Check out a sweet YouTube video of all the times Leonard Nimoy applied the Vulcan nerve pinch on the old "Star Trek", here.)


Police In Michigan Arrest a Grown Man Dressed as Batman Hanging From the Top of a Building:

Some people are just way cooler than you and me. --Yesterday, just before 1:00 A.M., the police in Petoskey, Michigan got a call that Batman was on the roof of a building. And he was. Sort of. --They spotted a man in a full Batman costume hanging off the ledge of a building. Considering how dangerous this was, it's fitting that he was hanging off Petoskey's Department of Public Safety. --The police pulled Batman back onto the roof and arrested him. Turns out his secret identity was 31-year-old Mark Williams. --And, on Mark's MySpace page, he describes himself as a, quote, "geek . . . into comics and action figures." (--It appears he's taken his page down.) --In addition to his Batman costume, he had a Batman baton, lead-lined gloves, and a canister of pepper spray. There's no word on what he was doing on the roof, whether it was 'fake-fighting' crime, or what. (The Smoking Gun)


Police Arrest a Cannibal Who Posted an Online Ad Looking For a Volunteer To Kill and Eat:

So . . . um . . . I guess CANNIBALS still exist in this world. So watch out for them on Craigslist. --In Kysak, Slovakia, a 43-year-old CANNIBAL . . . whose name hasn't been released . . . recently posted an Internet ad with a perfectly reasonable request. --He was looking for someone to come to his house . . . commit suicide . . . and then be eaten. --A man in Switzerland saw the ad and actually AGREED to do it. The plan was for him to go to the cannibal's house, they'd go out to the woods, the man would stab himself, and the cannibal would cut up the body and take it home in chunks to eat. --Before that could go down, the man in Switzerland changed his mind . . . and called the police. --Police in Kysak headed over to the cannibal's house to arrest him . . . but he wasn't going down without a fight. --The cannibal OPENED FIRE on the cops who went to his house, hitting one. That officer is still in serious condition. --The cannibal was also hit in the gun battle and has been hospitalized in critical condition. (--PLEASE keep him out of the morgue. Especially if he's got a hotplate in one hand and Chianti in the other.) (Washington Post)


Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

The TSA is working on a "trusted travelers" program, where people who qualify can leave their shoes on, leave their laptops in their bags, and not have to go through the body scanner / pat-down process. They'd use frequent-flier programs as a starting point, and throw in randomness and exceptions to throw off terrorists. (Full Story)


A kid in Connecticut asked a girl to prom by putting a big cardboard sign on the front wall of the school, using double-sided tape. She said yes . . . but the school suspended him and is preventing him from going to the prom. (Full Story)


X-ray of the Day: A guy in Vegas fell asleep at the wheel last November, hit a chain link fence, had a pole impaled through his head, and lived. (Full Story)


A company out of New York unveiled a portable eye scanner at a tech conference on Tuesday. It's called 'EyeLock,' and it's a USB drive that scans your iris and gives you access to all your online accounts without using a password. (Full Story)


Authorities say Facebook, Twitter, and social networking in general make it easier for criminals to target police, monitor police activity during crimes and hostage-takings . . . and may help them identify undercover cops. (Full Story)


Dog bite claims are up 5.3% since last year, and it's the biggest jump since 2007. The average cost per claim was $26,000, which is up from $24,840 in 2009. And one third of homeowners' liability claims come from dog bites. (Full Story)


A high-stakes blackjack player took Atlantic City's Tropicana Casino for $5.8 million last month, and single-handedly ruined their month. (Full Story)


An air conditioner repairman in Augusta, Georgia discovered a homeless guy living on the roof of a Waffle House. No one knows how long he was living there, but he was taken to a local hospital for dehydration. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A Guy Dressed as Batman Got Body Slammed and Punched in the Face by a Tourist in Las Vegas:

Sometimes street performers are so annoying that you want to punch them in the face. But some guy on the Las Vegas strip actually DID. --There's a video on Break.com of a tourist getting into it with a guy dressed as Batman. And after body slamming him, he punches Batman in the face five or six times. But the best part might be Batman's lame karate moves. (--Search for "Batman Beatdown on Vegas Strip." The karate moves start at :40, and Batman gets body slammed at 1:02.)


#2.) And Now . . . A Montage of Advice From Cinema's Greatest Dads:

Father's Day is still over a month away, but to promote a new book called "My Dad Is a Bro", the website BroBible.com posted a montage on YouTube called "Advice From Cinema's Greatest Dads". --It includes wise words from Marlon Brando in "The Godfather", Chevy Chase in "Vacation", Darth Vader in "The Empire Strikes Back" and over 20 other movie dads. (--WARNING: This video includes the F-word and the words "poontang", "masturbating" and "a**hole".)
#3.) An Irish PSA About Child Abuse Is So Violent, Some People Think It Goes Too Far:

The Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children has released a new PSA on YouTube that's so violent, some people think they went too far. --It shows a little boy talking about how he can't wait to grow up . . . while his father slaps him, punches him, throws him against the wall, and steps on his face. It's so realistic, it's hard to watch. (--Search for "ISPCC I Can't Wait Until I Grow Up.") (--WARNING: This video shows realistic footage of child abuse.)


Six Things Women Do to Look Hot . . . That Men Actually Hate:

Women do way more to look good for men than men do for women. But some of the stuff women do can actually be a turn-off. Here are six things women do to look hot . . . that men actually hate.

#1.) Too Much Foundation. When it's caked on it just makes you look fake. And guys assume that without makeup, your face is covered in scars and acne.

#2.) Neon Lipstick. It's becoming popular all of a sudden, and guys might eventually LEARN to like it. But so far, they don't. --And they also don't like it when women wear light red or pink lipstick, then trace around the edges with a dark lip liner.

#3.) Super-Thin Eyebrows. If you have a uni-brow, obviously a little plucking is a good idea. But guys don't like it when women pluck their eyebrows until they're a millimeter thick. --Or worse, until they're gone completely and you have to DRAW them on. Men tend to prefer a more natural look.

#4.) A Bump In Your Hair. Having a small bump in front is okay. But the bump Snooki used to sport was WAY too big. And it just looks silly to most guys.

#5.) Rosy Red Cheeks. Most men like make-up they don't notice. And in general, rouge is better on old ladies.

#6.) Glitter. A little bit in a few key areas can be good . . . like on your cleavage. But too much is just annoying because it tends to rub off on other people. And by the end of the night, EVERYONE'S wearing glitter. (Yahoo.com)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (05-11-11)

ARNOLD AND MARIA: THE AFTERMATH

Maria Shriver Has Wanted to Leave Arnold for Years:

We're learning more about the ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER / MARIA SHRIVER situation. Unfortunately, it's all from anonymous sources. Here's what they're saying: --Maria has apparently wanted out of this marriage for years now, due to Arnold's womanizing, inattentiveness and, quote, "out of control ego." (--In 2003, when allegations of sexual misconduct threatened to derail Arnold's political career, Maria publicly defended him.) --Also, ever since Arnold left the governor's mansion, he's become more erratic and unstable. Sources describe Maria as a "lost soul" and a "shell of a woman." And they say she's terrified of Arnold . . . but in, quote, "an emotional, not a physical way." --Maria stayed a lot longer than she wanted to because of her religious faith . . . not to mention several family tragedies. She lost both her mother and her uncle TED KENNEDY in 2009 . . . and her father died this past January. --Interestingly enough, it was Arnold and Maria's kids . . . who are 13, 17, 19 and 21 . . . who convinced their mom she should leave. But another source says Arnold has pulled a complete 180 since Maria left, and he's been doing everything he can to win her back. (--TMZ has some pictures of Arnold on Monday without his wedding ring . . . as well as a video Maria posted online back in March, in which she talks ambiguously about being in a "transitional" phase of her life.)


Is Miley Cyrus After Patrick Schwarzenegger?

In a recent interview with "Details" magazine, 17-year-old PATRICK SCHWARZENEGGER revealed that he had his eye on MILEY CYRUS. (--Patrick is the 17-year-old son of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver.) --And in doing so, he may have made his wish come true. The not-always-reliable "National Enquirer" says that Miley heard about that and went after him. They were set up by mutual friend SELENA GOMEZ, and they've been on several dates. --A source says, quote, "Miley is looking to rope Patrick into a full fledged romance." --But while Miley's parents think Patrick is the kind of stable guy she needs, Patrick's parents are worried that she might, quote, "lure Patrick into the Hollywood party scene."


Check Out Video of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Kissing:

If you value your 12-year-old daughter's sanity, you might not want her to see this: It's video of JUSTIN BIEBER planting one on SELENA GOMEZ'S lips. It happened during a recent press conference in Indonesia. (--Check it out here.) --Justin might have caught something from that kiss . . . because during a gig Monday night in the Philippines, Justin reportedly had to run backstage numerous times to VOMIT. --He was suffering from some kind of chest infection. Before the show, he even Tweeted, quote, "Sick as a dog ... But the show must go on."


Was Bristol Palin Unfairly Accused of Having Plastic Surgery?

A so-called "source" says BRISTOL PALIN did NOT have plastic surgery . . . and adds that those before-and-after photos everybody was using as supposed proof were unfair. --The source says, quote, "In one picture, Bristol's 18 years old and postpartum [she's now 20], and in the other she's lost 15 pounds and is wearing professional makeup that was airbrushed on. She also has extensions." (--For the record, the plastic surgery expert who examined the photos did note the different hairstyle and obvious weight loss . . . but still said he believes she's had work done.)


Is Paul McCartney Foregoing a Prenup Again?

PAUL MCCARTNEY didn't make HEATHER MILLS sign a prenuptial agreement and he paid for it. Literally. But sources say he's not going to make his next wife, Nancy Shevell, sign one, either. --All he did was have her sign a document promising that if they split up, she won't go after his kids' trust funds. A source says, quote, "Paul is insisting Nancy is no Heather. There's no need to make marriage a business arrangement." (--In Paul's defense, Nancy is already a successful businesswoman, and her dad is loaded. So she doesn't NEED his money. Which could be part of what attracted him to her.)
Betty White is the Most Appealing Celebrity . . . Spencer Pratt is the Least:

BETTY WHITE is the most appealing celebrity, and SPENCER PRATT is the least. That's according to the latest rundown by E-Poll Market Research. --That's the company that polls Americans every year to determine which celebrities are the most likeable and the most recognizable. --Then they give each celebrity a score that's supposed to help casting directors and the like decide who to hire for their commercials, movies, TV shows, etc. --Second to Betty White on the plus side was SANDRA BULLOCK . . . followed by WILL SMITH. --On the other end of the spectrum, Spencer beat out O.J. SIMPSON for the bottom spot. ROD BLAGOJEVICH finished third.

The 10 Most Appealing Celebrities:

#1.) Betty White
#2.) Sandra Bullock
#3.) Will Smith
#4.) Pauley Perrette (--She's the cute, pigtailed goth chick from "NCIS".)
#5.) Michael J. Fox
#6.) Morgan Freeman
#7.) Robin Williams
#8.) Tom Hanks
#9.) Clint Eastwood
#10.) Cote de Pablo (--She's also on "NCIS". She plays Special Agent Ziva David. Don't look at me. "NCIS" is a popular show.)


The 10 Least Appealing Celebrities:

#1.) Spencer Pratt
#2.) O.J. Simpson
#3.) Rod Blagojevich
#4.) Nadya "Octomom" Suleman
#5.) Jon Gosselin (--Kate also made the list, at #20.)
#6.) Heidi Montag
#7.) Perez Hilton
#8.) Eliot Spitzer
#9.) Howard Stern
#10.) Paris Hilton

(--You can see the Top 20 of both lists by scrolling down here. I'll let you guess which list Lindsay Lohan is on. You can also see lists detailing who's gained the most since last year's poll . . . and who has dropped the furthest.)


Watch Video of Mike Epps Being Served with a Lawsuit While Doing Standup:

MIKE EPPS was served with a lawsuit while onstage doing standup in Texas recently. (--Mike played Doug, the drug dealer who couldn't tell roofies from Ecstasy in "The Hangover".) --Right in the middle of his set, a woman walked up and threw the papers on the stage. And Mike let her have it. --He said, quote, "White [B-word] just threw some papers up on the mother[effing] stage . . . [B-word], [eff] you." --Then he added, quote, "This is from when I whooped that [N-word's] ass in Detroit." --Then he went back after the server, saying, quote, "[B-word], I don't give a [eff]" . . . then he invited her to provide him with some oral pleasure, if you know what I mean and I'm pretty sure you do. (--Here's video. WARNING!!! This thing is loaded with poorly bleeped profanity. Several B-words and at least one F-bomb were missed in the edit.) (--Epps is accused of attacking a photographer at a Detroit club last November. It happened during a party for Mike's wife . . . and Mike claimed the photographer was harassing them. Here's video of the brawl.)
A Radio Host Told Hilary Swank She's Not "The Pretty Girl":

HILARY SWANK is one of Hollywood's great actresses . . . but not everyone considers her one of Hollywood's great beauties. Still, is that something you should say to her face? --Some radio host . . . (--on KCRW out of Santa Monica) . . . did just that the other day. --They were talking about whether Hilary was having trouble finding good roles as she gets older. Hilary pointed out that MERYL STREEP still has a great career. --That's when the hostess said, quote, "But she's the exception . . . she's not like the pretty girl . . . and you're not either." --Believe it or not, Hilary wasn't bothered by this. At first she PRETENDED to be hurt, saying, quote, "Hey, what are you trying to say?" --Then she added, quote, "I completely know what you're saying. I mean, I play characters. I don't play a movie star-looking type of person, which I prefer. I mean, who walks around looking like that anyway?" (--You can listen to the audio here.)


Penelope Cruz Won't Work With [A-holes] Anymore:

PENELOPE CRUZ figures she's been in the business long enough to have earned a certain perk. That perk is . . . Not working with [A-holes] anymore. --She tells "GQ" magazine, quote, "When I started, when I was 16 or 17, I never even considered not doing a project. I just wanted to work. --"I knew who some of those I would work with would be pleasant, and others would be these huge [A-holes]. --"But now, if there's one thing I can afford to do, having worked so hard for all of these years, it's that if I go into a meeting with someone that is offering me a movie and I can clearly see they are going to be an [A-hole], I will not do the movie. --"No matter what it is."


Donald Trump's Poll Numbers Have Come Crashing Down:

It's probably too early to pronounce DONALD TRUMP'S presidential campaign over . . . but then again, I expect the long-form death certificate to pop up any day now. --At this time last month, the folks at Public Policy Polling had Trump leading all prospective Republican candidates with 26%. He was NINE POINTS ahead of his closest competitor. --Then PRESIDENT OBAMA released his birth certificate . . . roasted Trump at the White House Correspondents' Dinner . . . and sent OSAMA BIN LADEN to Hades. --And thanks to that little burst of activity, Trump has dropped all the way down to 8%. That ties him for FIFTH PLACE with RON PAUL . . . a man Donald has branded unelectable. --MIKE HUCKABEE is now the frontrunner with 19%, followed by MITT ROMNEY with 18%, Newt Gingrich with 13% and Sarah Palin with 12%. -Trump will announce his intentions sometime after the May 22nd finale of "Celebrity Apprentice". (--I'm calling it now: He's bowing out. He's too much of an egomaniac to run when there's even the slightest chance he'll lose. The only question is, who will he blame? Because he sure as hell won't blame himself.) (--My guess is that he'll whine about how the media destroyed him or some such garbage.)


Vin Diesel Says "Fast Five" Has a Shot at an Oscar?

"Fast Five" is doing great at the box office. But its success has given VIN DIESEL a slightly inflated opinion about just how good it is. --He says, quote, "I wouldn't be surprised if there is some Oscar talk around this . . . sooner or later, people are gonna say, 'Wait a minute, just because they are for the working class doesn't mean they're not great.'" (--Unfortunately, Vin did not elaborate on which category or categories he thinks "Fast Five" has a shot at.)


Check Out a Trailer for Hugh Jackman's "Real Steel":

The trailer for HUGH JACKMAN'S "Real Steel" hit the web yesterday. It's a boxing movie . . . but it takes place in the not-too-distant future, where the boxers are big robots that look kind of like Transformers. --Perhaps most importantly, it features the super-sexy EVANGELINE LILLY in her first role since "Lost". (--The movie hits theaters in October. You can watch the trailer here.)


Casting Quickies: "Gotti", "American Reunion", and "The Hunger Games":

#1.) AL PACINO has joined the cast of "Gotti: Three Generations". He'll play Gambino crime family underboss Neil Dellacroce. JOHN TRAVOLTA and KELLY PRESTON star as John Gotti Sr. and his wife. --JOE PESCI, LINDSAY LOHAN and the Travoltas' daughter Ella Bleu are also in the cast.


#2.) THOMAS IAN NICHOLAS has officially signed on to the "American Pie" sequel, "American Wedding". (--He plays Kevin Myers . . . who was Tara Reid's boyfriend in the original. But to me he'll always be the kid from "Rookie of the Year".) --According to the "Hollywood Reporter", just about everyone is on board now, including Tara Reid, Mena Suvari and Eddie Kaye Thomas. At this point, Shannon Elizabeth and Natasha Lyonne seem to be the only originals not coming back.

#3.) WOODY HARRELSON has joined the cast of "The Hunger Games". He'll play a character named Haymitch Abernathy. (--If you're a fan of the books, you don't need me to explain who that is. If you're not, you don't care.) (???)


The Situation's Dad Made A Couple Video Rants Blasting Him for Abandoning the Family After Getting Famous:

THE SITUATION is making a KILLING from his "Jersey Shore" fame. --The "Hollywood Reporter" estimated that he raked in $5 MILLION last year, and he received a huge pay raise since then that should bump his income this year. --But apparently, The Situation isn't sending any of that to his folks back home. --His father Frank Sorrentino lashed out at him in a couple profanity-laced rants . . . basically for abandoning the family after he got famous, and not appreciating the things he did to help him get his feet on the ground a few years back. (--Here's the first video, which is titled "[Eff] the Little [Eff]". In this one, Frank introduces himself and the "situation" with his son.) (--And in the second video, Frank says he got The Situation a construction job, but he ended up enjoying some ORAL FAVORS from a cougar co-worker. Then, The Situation went after the company for sexual harassment.) (--WARNING: The first video includes a lot of bleeped profanity. And obviously there's some sexual language in the second one. The naughty words are bleeped, but in some cases they're not bleeped very well.)


The Best Lines from The Situation's Dad's Rants:

Here are a few highlights from Frank Sorrentino's video rants. --"I was born in Staten Island, New York. At an early age, I got married. I had three kids. Life started early for me at 19. Didn't have no childhood. And as a young child, I had a bad childhood." --"I solved problems the way we learned to solve problems . . . I solved problems with my hands and with my friends. And that's who we are." --"One of my boys is Michael Sorrentino, also known as The Situation. He created more situations for me in my life, than the name he gave himself. He put me in more confrontations, than any boy I ever had. (--Careful!) --"I'm telling you you're full of [crap]. I know you. I stood up for you. I put my [effing] balls on the line for you a hundred [effing] times . . . a hundred [effing] times. When you couldn't. --"I ask you one [effing] favor, you tell me to go [effing] be like [an effing] Joe Blow and go on Welfare? No, my friend. I don't do that."


Warren Buffett, the Rich Guy, Will Be on the "Office" Season Finale:

WARREN BUFFETT . . . the third-wealthiest person in the world . . . will make a cameo on the season finale of "The Office". (--Seems random . . . but hey, in this economy, you don't turn down a job . . . no matter who you are.) --He'll play a guy who's interviewing for STEVE CARELL'S old job. --The season finale will also feature Will Ferrell, Ricky Gervais, Will Arnett, Jim Carrey, Ray Romano and James Spader. It airs on May 19th.


Check Out a New Original "Glee" Song, Which Will Air on the Finale:

A new, original "Glee" song called "Light Up the World" premiered on RYAN SEACREST'S radio show yesterday. (--You can check it out, here.) --The song will be featured on the season finale, which is set for May 24th.


Wednesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"NBA Playoffs: Heat vs. Celtics" [Eastern Conference Semifinals] . . . 7:00 to 9:30 P.M. Eastern on TNT. (--The Miami Heat host the Boston Celtics.)

--"NBA Playoffs: Thunder vs. Grizzlies" [Western Conference Semifinals] . . . 9:30 P.M. to Midnight Eastern on TNT. (--The Oklahoma City Thunder host the Memphis Grizzlies.)

--"American Idol" [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox. (--Lady Gaga serves as a mentor for the remaining four singers.)

--"Survivor: Redemption Island" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--There are four people on Redemption Island and the loser of the next duel will be the 4th member of the jury. Meanwhile, Boston Rob is still among the five people in the main tribe.)

--"Better With You" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.

--"Cougar Town" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Nia Vardalos guest stars as Andy's flirtatious sister-in-law.)

--"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--The kid who played the young Ben Linus on "Lost" guest stars as a teen psychopath.)

--"South Park" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--Thousands gather to see CANADA'S Royal Wedding.)


Kirk Hammett Isn't Gay . . . But He Is an "Experimental Kind of Guy":

There's been a lot of talk about METALLICA guitarist KIRK HAMMETT'S sexual orientation over the years . . . and now, rock biographer Mick Wall is insinuating . . . without really saying it outright . . . that Kirk is BISEXUAL. --In a radio interview . . . (--with Mattman from "The Rise Guys Show" out of South Carolina) . . . Wall said, quote, "I couldn't tell you definitively what the total culmination of Kirk's sexual experiences are, because he's an experimental kind of guy. --"I would say, predominantly, he likes the ladies. --"If you talk to psychologists, they'll tell you that sexuality is a spectrum, it's not just you're either this or you're that, you're somewhere on that radar . . . and where Kirk is, you could say he's more comfortable with his sexuality than a lot of guys." (--Sure, this is not coming from someone within the Metallica circle, per se . . . but Wall isn't just some random rock journalist. He wrote the new Metallica biography "Enter Night", which came out yesterday.) (--He's also written tons of other rock books, including authorized biographies of OZZY OSBOURNE and IRON MAIDEN.) (--For what it's worth, Kirk has been married twice . . . to WOMEN. He's been with his current wife Lani for 13 years. They have two young sons.)


Brian Wilson Is Retiring from Touring . . . Because of His Age, Stress, and Hallucinations:

68-year-old BRIAN WILSON . . . of the BEACH BOYS, kids . . . is thinking about retiring from performing live, because of his age, his anxiety and yes, his CRAZY. --When asked if he thought of packing it in, Brian told the "London Evening Standard", "Oh God yes. Another year, maybe. This could be the last time I play [in London]. I'm going to miss it but I'm getting a little bit old for touring." --He added, quote, "I'm always afraid just before I go on stage because I'm not sure how the concert's going to work. As I get older it gets harder for me. But when I'm sitting down at the keyboard and my band's behind me, I can do it." --Oh, and just in case you're wondering, Brian is STILL pretty crazy. He says he hallucinates . . . and "always" hears voices that say bad things like "You're going to die" and "You better watch out." (--Brian is touring the U.S. this summer . . . after hitting Canada, and before heading to Europe. His last scheduled show is September 26th in Norway.) (--Brian has struggled with various mental issues for the past 40 years. The voices in his head are caused by a condition called "schizoaffective disorder.")


Prescription Medication Took Away Eight Years of Stevie Nicks' Life:

STEVIE NICKS says prescription medication, quote, "ruined my life for eight years." --It began in 1986, when Stevie sought treatment for cocaine addiction . . . and was prescribed Klonopin, a seizure medication. --She says, quote, "That was just a stupid doctor making a groupie mistake and just wanting me to come in there, tell him about all my music friends and young Hollywood and that nearly ruined my life and nearly killed me."


Bruce Springsteen Appears on a Song About the War in Afghanistan:

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN appears on a song about the War in Afghanistan called "Summer Soldier (Holler If Ya Hear Me)" by musician Stewart Francke. (--You can listen to the song, here.) --The song is on Stewart's new album, "Heartless World", which comes out next Tuesday. (--Stewart is touring with BOB SEGER and EARTH WIND AND FIRE this summer.)

The Charges Have Been Dropped Against the Men Who Allegedly Shot Up Waka Flocka Flame's Tour Bus:

Prosecutors have dropped the charges against the six men who were arrested for opening fire on WAKA FLOCKA FLAME'S tour bus back in February. --The shooting happened during the day, outside a car stereo shop. --Supposedly, it was a botched robbery attempt, with the target being a $1.2 million necklace. But there wasn't enough evidence to back up the robbery theory, and none of the witnesses identified any of the defendants as the shooters. (--It's a little unclear if they really COULDN'T identify the men . . . or if they WOULDN'T identify them.) --Some of the defendants DID admit to being at the scene . . . but they insist they weren't there to cause any trouble. They just wanted to, quote, "chill [and] holler at" Waka Flocka. --But even though they were there for innocent reasons, they didn't have any information to share on the shooting . . . --Other than to say that if anyone in their crew DID fire a gun, it would've been in response to shots fired by one of Waka Flocka's guys. (--Sure.)



Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Check out some video of LINDSAY LOHAN'S recent vampire photo shoot. It kind of reminds you just how sexy this girl can be when she's not a total mess. (Video)


COURTNEY LOVE might be dating MICHAEL PITT . . . who played a fictionalized version of KURT COBAIN in the movie "Last Days". (Full Story)


FERGIE . . . the Duchess of York, not the chick from the BLACK EYED PEAS . . . says it was hurtful to not be invited to the Royal Wedding, but she understands the decision. (Full Story)


Here's the no-brainer of the day . . . if not the YEAR: NEIL PATRICK HARRIS will host this year's Tonys. It'll be his second time. He also did it in 2009. SEAN HAYES hosted last year. (Full Story)


Here's a movie premise so crazy it might just be brilliant: Aliens land on Earth with plans to take over, and engage in a life-or-death struggle with . . . DINOSAURS. (!!!) Yes, it's a prehistoric alien invasion flick. It's called "Dominion: Dinosaurs vs. Aliens". It's being developed by director Barry Sonnenfeld, who does the "Men In Black" movies. (Full Story)


KANYE WEST has released a free "mixtape" of his live performance at the Coachella music festival last month. It's his full set. (Download)


Former 2 LIVE CREW star LUTHER CAMPBELL has come up with a SWEET campaign slogan for his mayoral run in Miami. He told CNN, quote, "I'm dead serious. I mean, that's my campaign slogan." (Full Story)


DIDDY came down with a fever yesterday and had to cancel last night's show in Phoenix. He apologized on Twitter, and added, quote, "I guess I pushed it too far, because I literally can't get outta bed." (Full Story)


Fox News criticized the White House for inviting COMMON to a Poetry Night on Wednesday night . . . and described Common as a, quote, "vile rapper." But in 2009, Fox News described him as a "very positive . . . conscious rapper." (Full Story)


ROD STEWART is the latest artist to sign up for a long-term residency at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. Rod is locked in for two years . . . and will be performing, quote, "90% songs that people know." (--The other 10% will be deep cuts from PAT BENATAR'S catalogue. Just kidding.) (Full Story)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

The Average Person Breaks the Law 21 Times a Year, and Going Over the Speed Limit Is the Most Common Crime:

We've got a survey today that found the average person breaks the law 21 times a year. And I'm not sure what it says about me that my first thought was: Per year? I'm pretty sure I do that per week. --The survey came out of England, but we're thinking it probably applies over here too. It found that the average person breaks the law 21 times in the average year, or about once every two weeks. --The most common way we break the law is by speeding . . . 79% of people say they've broken the speed limit. --Eating or drinking while driving is second. Riding a bike illegally on the sidewalk is third, driving without a seatbelt is fourth, and downloading pirated music or files is fifth. --Believe it or not, sex in a public place came in sixth. --Driving through a red light was seventh, parking in an illegal place was eighth, texting while driving was ninth, and drugs were tenth. --The people who ran the survey believe that 21 times per year is LOW, and that people, quote, "are becoming so used to breaking the law on a daily basis that they aren't even fazed by their actions." (Daily Mail)


You Spend More Than Five Years of Your Life Hungover:

Hangovers are no joke, man. Except when you sneak up behind someone who's hungover and blast the REBECCA BLACK song "Friday" in their ear. But beyond that, hangovers are no joke. --And according to a new survey, if you're an average drinker, you're going to have to suffer through hangovers for FIVE YEARS of your life. --The survey found that if you're a social or heavy drinker, you spend an average of 22.8 days per year hungover between ages 21 and 60. --As you get older and get more responsible, you drink less . . . but the hangovers are worse and last longer, so it evens out. --The average person between 21 and 38 spends 60 days a year hungover . . . from ages 38 to 46, it's 45 days per year . . . and from ages 46 to 60, it's 23 days per year hungover. --Overall, that comes out to 1,926 days hungover . . . or five years, three months, and nine days. (Express.co.uk)


Your Co-Workers Would Much Rather You Take Credit For Their Work, Than Do a Bad Job On Your Own Work:

Doing projects around the office is just like doing projects in high school: Try to contribute when you can, offer up your best assistance . . . then step out of the way and let the nerds handle it. Everyone's happier that way. --In a new survey by Accountemps, people were way more annoyed by co-workers who do sloppy or mediocre work, than co-workers who take credit for other people's ideas. --41% said that a lack of attention to detail and poor work is the number one most annoying co-worker behavior. Only 5% said that presenting other people's ideas as their own is annoying. --The second-most annoying behavior is gossiping and office politics, at 23%. --Missing deadlines came in third, at 18%. --And being late came in fourth, at 12%. (PR Newswire)


There's a One-In-Five Chance Your Parents Regret Sticking You With That Horrible Name:

Last week, the Social Security Administration released its annual list of the most popular baby names. And they were REGRETTABLE. (--Here's our coverage.). --The top names for each gender were inspired by "Twilight" . . . Jacob and Isabella . . . and the fastest gaining names for each gender came from MTV's horrible show "Teen Mom" . . . Bentley and Maci. --So if you gave your kid one of those names, or any other tragic name on the books . . . yeah, there's a decent chance you're going to regret it down the line. --According to a survey, one out of every five parents say they regret the name they picked for their kid. The most common reasons are that they realized the name was too STRANGE, or they figured out a perfect name when it was too late. (Today)


17 Out of 20 New College Graduates Move Back In With Their Parents:

I think it's now OFFICIALLY a MYTH to say that you should go to college so you can get a good job. Yeah, college might lead to a job down the road . . . but right now, college seems like just a direct path back to your childhood bedroom. --A consulting firm called Twentysomething Inc. just finished a poll that found that 85% of recent college graduates . . . or 17 out of 20 . . . move back in with their parents after school, at least for a little while. --In today's job climate . . . where people with years and even decades of experience are desperate for any jobs, even entry-level ones . . . less than half of college graduates have a job when they finish school. (New York Post)


Website of the Day: What's Osama Bin Watchin'?
Here's a stupid new website you can use to bug your friends at work. It's called "What's Osama Bin Watchin'?" It's just a static image of OSAMA BIN LADEN sitting on the floor of his compound, watching a crappy little TV. --You know the photo: It's from one of the videos they found during the raid, and released to the media last weekend. --But on the website, you type in the URL of whatever YouTube video you want to appear on the little screen Osama's bin watchin', and it appears on his TV. Just Google "What's Osama Bin Watchin'" or go to tomscott.com/osama. (--For example, here's Osama watching the classic "Dramatic Chipmunk" video.)


There Are More Than Five Million Kids Under Age 10 Who Are Illegally on Facebook:

According to Facebook's policies, no one under age 13 is allowed on the site. But . . . um . . . EVERYONE under age 13 seems to be on the site. --A study by "Consumer Reports" has found that there are more than FIVE MILLION kids under age 10 who have Facebook pages. They've all just signed up with fake birthdays . . . which is Facebook's only method of verifying your age. --As for whether their parents know they're on the site and are actively monitoring them . . . it doesn't look like it. Only 18% of the kids under 10 on Facebook are friends with their parents. (Consumer Reports)


Stink Bombs Work Like Viagra?

I'm not sure if kids today still use STINK BOMBS . . . in our zero-tolerance world, if you dropped a stink bomb in a movie theater they'd probably call in a SWAT team and you'd be questioned by the feds. --So here's a different use for stink bombs, for adults. Use 'em to get yourself READY FOR RELATIONS. --Researchers at the University Hospital of Singapore have found that the gas that makes stink bombs stink could actually work just like Viagra. --Stink bombs use a mild amount of liquefied hydrogen sulfide, which smells like rotten eggs. But for whatever reason, when you smell it, it helps boost blood flow. And that increased blood flow can get things moving down below. --Of course, you don't want to light a stink bomb in the bedroom. So the researchers say the next step is to test ways to get hydrogen sulfide to men WITHOUT having to fill the room with the smell of rotten eggs. (Daily Mail)


MEATBALL CRIMINALS

Police Catch an Assault Suspect When His Finger Gets Severed During the Fight and He Leaves It Behind At the Scene:

I can't believe this actually worked. --In Manchester, New Hampshire, police were able to catch an assault suspect because his FINGER was CHOPPED OFF during the fight . . . he left it behind at the scene . . . and they were able to use it to get his fingerprints. --The suspect was 30-year-old Miguel Ramirez. He started a fight at a bar over a woman, naturally, when he hit a guy in the face with a beer bottle. --The fight spilled into the street, knives came out, and both Miguel and the other man were cut. --After his finger got chopped off, Miguel left the scene. Police were able to positively identify him and he was arrested for three felonies . . . two counts of second-degree assault and one count of first-degree assault. --The man he fought was 36-year-old Hector Reyes-Quintanillia. He was charged with felony criminal trespassing. (Officer.com)


A Bank Robber Is Foiled Because He Didn't Bring a Bag To Carry the Cash:

If you're not going to even TRY, why bother becoming a bank robber? On Friday, 61-year-old Joseph Price of Okeechobee, Florida tried to rob a PNC Bank branch and gave up because of some of the WEAKEST resistance possible. --Joseph handed the teller a note demanding a bag of cash. The teller told him she didn't have a bag. And . . . THAT was enough to make Joseph throw in the towel. --The police tracked him down about seven minutes later riding his bicycle home. He was arrested for attempted bank robbery. (UPI)


A Man Dials 911 Because He Needed Someone To Buy Him Beer . . . And Be His Friend:

I almost don't want to rip on this guy because I feel so bad for him. Almost. --On Sunday, 65-year-old Raymond Roberge of Bridgeport, Connecticut called 911 three times. Finally, the third time, the police showed up at his house, and Raymond explained why he'd called. --His emergency was that he wanted someone to drive to the store and BUY HIM BEER. And also . . . and this is the part where we feel bad for him . . . he was lonely and wanted someone to hang out with him. --Those three calls made it 79 times that Raymond's called 911 this year . . . and he's never had an emergency. He's been charged with misusing the 911 system. (Connecticut Post)
RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Stupid News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


A guy in Salt Lake City stole a pick-up truck from a Home Depot on Friday morning, but the company that owned the truck followed him, and shot out one of the tires. Police arrested the thief while he was trying to change the tire . . . and gave the shooter a summons for unlawful discharge of a handgun. (Full Story)


A newspaper in Pennsylvania was doing a story on Navy SEALs, looked into a local pastor who's been claiming for years that he was a SEAL in 'Nam . . . and found out that not only was he lying, but he took a lot of the details of his story from the movie "Under Siege". (Full Story)


A guy in Florida was busted making an illegal U-turn, booked for violation of probation, and got caught entering the jail with a marijuana pipe hidden up his no-go hole. (Full Story)


According to a new study by psychologists in the journal "Sex Roles", 30% of all young girls' clothing is sexualized. (Full Story)


Want to abandon your baby without the guilt? A community center in South Africa has installed a new 'Baby Safe.' If you don't want your baby, you can place it in the box, and an alarm is triggered to alert staff. It's basically a big movie rental return drawer, but with holes for the baby to breathe. (Full Story)


A recent study by Columbia University's School of Public Health has linked frequent business travel with poor health and obesity. People who travel two weeks or more every month for work report higher rates of obesity, higher blood pressure, and have a greater risk of cardiovascular disease. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A Crazy Guy on the New York Subway Took Off His Clothes, Yelled the N-Word, and Started Attacking Random People:

A lot of crazy things have happened on the New York City subway since it opened over 106 years ago . . . but this has to be one of the craziest: --A guy got naked, started shouting the N-word, and attacked random people. There are two great things about it: One, despite everything the guy did, probably the biggest reaction he got from the people around him was when he took off his boxers. --And two, a cop let him run around WAY too long before trying to subdue him. Then he had problems getting him to the ground, until a few bystanders chipped in. (--Search for "Berserk Naked Racist on NYC Subway." He takes his boxers off at :58, attacks people at 1:18, fights the cop at 1:45, and gets taken down at 1:58.) (--WARNING: This video includes full-frontal nudity, the N-word, the F-word, the S-word, and other profanity.)


#2.) A Soldier Danced 'The Carlton' . . . In Full-Gear, Standing on Top of a Tank, While Rockets Fired in the Background:

If you watched "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", then you know how Carlton used to show off his ridiculous dance moves to the Tom Jones song "It's Not Unusual". And so The Carlton' was born. --And there's a great new video on YouTube where a U.S. soldier in full gear does 'The Carlton' on top of a tank, with rockets firing in the background. (--Search for "Soldier Dancing Like Carlton." The first rocket is fired at :11, and the second one is at :16.)
The Four Biggest Myths About Your Health:

A lot of people think the placebo effect isn't a big deal, because it doesn't ACTUALLY make you better . . . it just makes you THINK you're better. --But in reality, placebos are surprisingly effective for people with Parkinson's, depression, intestinal issues, and a variety of other things.--And up to one-third of people who are in pain feel better after taking a placebo, because when your brain thinks you're taking a pain reliever, your body automatically releases compounds called opioids, which are kind of like morphine. --Here are four more big misconceptions that most people have about their health.

Myth #1.) "Overweight" Equals "Unhealthy." In one study, more than 25,000 men were tracked for over 23 years, and researchers kept tabs on their health. --In the end, men who were overweight or obese, but exercised regularly, tended to live longer than men who were thin but DIDN'T exercise. --In general, doctors worry more about your body mass index, which is supposed to be below 25. But if you have a lot of muscle, it can be much higher.

Myth #2.) If You Have Bad Genes, You're Destined to Die Early. Scientists keep finding new things in our DNA, like the breast cancer gene, which significantly increases your chances of developing breast cancer at some point in your life. --60 to 80 percent of women who have the gene will develop breast cancer compared to 13 percent of women who don't. But it's not the same with other diseases, and if someone in your family died early, it doesn't necessarily mean you will too. --In fact, scientists think the majority of cancers are caused by things you can avoid, like smoking, sun exposure, and a poor diet. --And if there was a pie chart showing all the things that affect how long you live, your genes would only take up about one-third of it. The other two-thirds are things you can control.

Myth #3.) Prescription Drugs Are Guaranteed to Be Safe. People think that if the FDA approves a new drug, it means it's been thoroughly tested for side effects. --But about 10 percent of the drugs that are approved by the FDA are later discovered to have MAJOR side effects that didn't show up in clinical trials. --That's why you should stick with a medication if it's working for you, and not switch to some new drug just because you saw an ad for it on TV.

Myth #4.) Hospitals Are Sterile. The reality is, hospitals . . . and doctors . . . are often covered in nasty drug-resistant germs that could make you sicker or even kill you. --According to the CDC, each year 1.7 million people in the U.S. develop infections while staying at the hospital, or immediately after they're discharged. And almost 100,000 of them die. (Reader's Digest)


Traveling With Fido And Fluffy

PetRelocation.com has announced the results of their second annual Summer Pet Travel Survey of more than 10,000 pet owners worldwide, finding that 60% traveled with pets during 2010. Summer pet travel trends remained steady from 2010’s survey, with 58% of people surveyed during the month of April indicating they planned to travel with their pets within the next three months, compared to 57% in 2010. The number of people who travel monthly fell from 38% in 2010 to 22% in 2011; 57% of respondents indicated they still travel at least once a year with pets. Other findings:


•48% of pet owners said they spend less than $500 annually on pet travel-related products and services; nearly 28% said they spend $1000 or more each year on products and services for pet travel.

•In 2010, 38% of respondents found airline pet travel fees to be prohibitively expensive. This year’s survey found only 18% view airline fees as too expensive. For 2011, the majority of respondents’ concerns (32%) cited an unsatisfactory selection of pet-friendly hotels.

•Those who chose to stay at hotels because they are pet-friendly jumped by 10% from 2010 to 2011, with 78% saying they had stayed at a hotel because it allowed pets or was considered to be “pet-friendly.”

•Pet-friendly airlines also grew in influence, with 58% of pet owners saying they had chosen to fly on an airline because it was “pet-friendly.”

•Dogs remained a popular pet travel companion, with 58% of respondents saying they travel with dogs; 22% will travel with cats, 8% with birds and 6% with horses.

•Safety remains the top priority for traveling pet owners, with 71% indicating their pet’s safety is the most important aspect when planning pet travel arrangements. Pricing and keeping costs down came in a distant second at 17%, followed by convenience to a pet owner’s own travel arrangements (12%).

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (05-10-11)

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver Are Separated:

I don't think anybody saw this one coming: After 25 years of marriage, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER and MARIA SHRIVER have SEPARATED. Maria reportedly moved out two weeks ago. --Obviously, they're not giving any details . . . but they did release the following statement . . . quote, "This has been a time of great personal and professional transition for each of us. --"After a great deal of thought, reflection, discussion and prayer, we came to this decision together. At this time, we are living apart while we work on the future of our relationship." --They added, quote, "We are continuing to parent our four children together. They are the light and the center of both of our lives. We consider this a private matter and neither we nor any of our friends or family will have further comment. --"We ask for compassion and respect from the media and the public." --Arnold and Maria met in 1977, when TOM BROKAW introduced them at a charity event . . . and they hit it off despite the fact that he's a Republican and she's a member of the staunchly Democratic KENNEDY clan --They got married in 1986.


Alicia Silverstone Gave Birth to a Baby Boy:

ALICIA SILVERSTONE'S vegetarian uterus shot out a baby boy on Friday. --She announced the birth yesterday on her blog. She said, quote, "I'm so grateful to this community for all the love, support, good wishes and happy vibes you've sent me during my pregnancy . . . it has been wonderful. Thank you all!" --This is the first child for Alicia and her husband, Chris Jarecki. Unfortunately for the child, they named him Bear Blu Jarecki. (???)


Sexy Pictures of Famous People: Usher, Russell Brand, Christina Aguilera and . . . A Congressman?

#1.) USHER brought out the GUNS during a gig in Atlantic City over the weekend. Who knew he was so jacked? (TMZ)

#2.) RUSSELL BRAND was spotted in nothing but a pair of tighty-whities while rehearsing for the upcoming movie version of "Rock of Ages" in Miami the other day. (Daily Mail)

#3.) CHRISTINA AGUILERA went out in New York City recently with boyfriend Matt Rutler . . . and very little makeup. Unfortunately, Christina is one of those celebrities who REALLY needs it. (--Not trying to be mean. I'm just sayin'.) (Daily Mail)

#4.) They say politics is showbiz for ugly people. That's not the case with AARON SCHOCK . . . a Republican representative from Illinois. This guy is HOT . . . and he's got MAJOR ABS. "Men's Health" magazine even put him on the cover of the latest issue. (Gawker)


Whitney Houston Is Being Treated for Drugs and Alcohol Again:

Anybody who saw WHITNEY HOUSTON on her recent comeback tour knows that she still has a problem with drugs and alcohol. But yesterday she announced she's taking steps to remedy that. --Her rep said, quote, "Whitney Houston is currently in an out-patient rehab program for drug and alcohol treatment. Whitney voluntarily entered the program to support her long-standing recovery process." --RadarOnline.com says Whitney is back on CRACK . . . which she once told us is WHACK. (--I guess she lied.) --TMZ says she entered the program about 10 days ago . . . and she's only allowed in public if she has someone there to monitor her. --According to MTV News, Whitney showed up at a PRINCE concert in Los Angeles last weekend, and sang onstage with CHAKA KHAN. (--Chaka Khan. You have to say it twice. It's the law.) --It's possible Whitney is trying to sober up for a movie gig. ANGELA BASSETT recently revealed that the sequel to "Waiting to Exhale" is being made into a movie. It's called "Getting to Happy". --The whole cast is expected back, including Angela, Whitney, LORETTA DIVINE and LELA ROCHON. --FOREST WHITAKER is returning to direct, and author TERRY MCMILLAN has once again written the screenplay based on her novel.


Double Entendre of the Day: Chaz Bono's Girlfriend Says It Was "Really Hard" When Chaz Became a Man:

If you were looking for double entendres yesterday, "Oprah" was the place to be. CHAZ BONO and his girlfriend Jennifer Elia were there to talk about Chaz's transition from female to male. --Asked how that transition went, Jennifer said, quote, "IT WAS REALLY HARD." --Of course, she wasn't really talking about, you know, THAT. She was talking about the new level of testosterone coursing through Chaz's finely chiseled, newly-male physique. --She said, quote, "Suddenly [things] didn't mean the same thing to her. And so we really had to, you know, adjust our . . . how we did things and relearn how to be together." --Chaz's heightened MALE SEX DRIVE was one of the many challenges they faced . . . and it prompted Jennifer to move into the guest bedroom for a while.
Lindsay Lohan Is Expected to Plead No Contest to Misdemeanor Theft Today:

LINDSAY LOHAN is expected to plead no contest today to misdemeanor theft. Technically, her lawyer will plead no contest. Lindsay probably won't be there in person. --And sources say that in return for her plea, she'll avoid any additional jail time. They'll just slap her with another year of probation. --Now, Lindsay is still facing a four-month sentence for violating her probation. But as we've already heard, there's a good chance she'll be allowed to serve that sentence AT HOME with an electronic ankle bracelet. --According to TMZ, Lindsay will be eligible for the same time off for good behavior and jail overcrowding as someone who actually serves their time behind bars. And if that's the case, her 120 days could be reduced to just 14. --So the end result of all this tough talk from judges and prosecutors is that Lindsay will skate away from what was originally a FELONY theft charge with two weeks at home wearing the ankle bracelet. --A source tells Radar Online, quote, "Lindsay knows she dodged a major bullet. She doesn't like the fact she'll be on probation for another year, but it beats being in state prison."


Charlie Sheen's "Winning" Song Is Now For Sale On iTunes:

"Winning" . . . the song CHARLIE SHEEN did with SNOOP DOGG . . . went on sale at midnight on iTunes . . . with proceeds going to Charlie's Torpedos Against Tornados charity. (--You can listen to a clip of it here.) --Meanwhile . . . Charlie seems to have a rather inflated view of how his live tour went. He says, quote, "Overall as a grade on this as a team I think we went 17 and 4." --"I know there's a couple in there that felt sorta phoned in but gave me the inspiration for the following night when it was all passion and lunacy. Um, yeah, I think 17 and 4 is fair." --But Charlie seems to have embraced reality when it comes to his future, or lack thereof, on "Two and a Half Men". He says, quote, "I don't know what they're planning. I'm just plodding along like it's over, like there's some closure. --"I have closure now because when Chuck [Lorre] . . . issues a statement talking about . . . writing shows without me . . . that feels like it is pretty final, you know? It's hard." --One last note: Charlie isn't searching for a new goddess to replace BREE OLSON. At least not yet. He says, quote, "Probably not today. That's all I know. Not going to happen today. I don't know. --"You know I was pursuing that with all the right intentions and what are you going to do? People bring variables. I mean, depends on who it is."


There's Another "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" Remake in the Works . . . This Time in 3D:

If you're a fan of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" . . . and I mean the original 1974 classic . . . then I'm guessing you thought the 2003 remake was bland and pointless. And its 2006 prequel was even more so. --With that in mind, this is either a chance to set things right, or a chance to tarnish the franchise's legacy even further . . . --There is yet another "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake in the works. And this one will be in 3D. That's all we know about it at this point.


Was the Elephant in "Water for Elephants" Abused When It Was Trained?

A group called Animal Defenders International claims that the elephant used in the movie "Water for Elephants" was ABUSED. --Not during the filming of the movie, but when it was trained years ago by a company called Have Trunk Will Travel . . . which rents elephants out to movie and TV productions. (--You can see video of the trainers allegedly abusing their animals here. WARNING!!! This video might be disturbing to some viewers.)


It's Official: Meredith Vieira Is Leaving the "Today" Show:

The rumors were true: MEREDITH VIEIRA is leaving the "Today" show. --After over a month of speculation, Meredith made it official on yesterday's episode, saying that she'd decided to leave in order to spend more time with her family. Her last day will be June 8th. (--Her contract wasn't up until September.) --She explained, quote, "It's a difficult day for me. I'm gonna try and hold myself together here, but after months of personal reflection and private conversations between my family and my friends, I have decided to leave 'Today' in June. --"Even as I say this . . . and I know it's the right thing . . . I'm really sad, because in the past . . . I like to say 10 years, but I know it's only five . . . this has been my second home. [I'm] just humbled at what a great experience this has been for me. --"I really hope to stay in the NBC family, that is my goal, it just won't be sitting at the couch every day." --Meredith added, quote, "Time is one of those weird things . . . you can never get enough of it, it just keeps ticking away, but I know I want to spend mine with my husband Richard and my kids." --Richard has had some health problems . . . he's been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and colon cancer . . . but Meredith is NOT quitting to be his caretaker. --She said, quote, "There's so much speculation in the press recently [about] 'poor Meredith with her invalid husband' and I want to set the record straight on that. My husband is in good health, and that's part of the reason I want to leave right now. --"I want to be there with him and I want to have fun and I want to appreciate our time together and not have to punch a clock so much. It diminished him, those articles, and it diminished me." --Meredith is 57. She and Richard have a daughter who's graduating high school . . . and two sons, who are college-age. (--And according to a biography of Meredith I found online, she also has a fear of BRIDGES . . . for what that's worth.) --"Today" co-host MATT LAUER told her, quote, "Suffice it to say that we all feel blessed to have had these last five or six years with you . . . [you] brought class, dignity, talent and a joy of life to the show . . . and we will miss you like crazy." (--Here's video of Meredith's emotional announcement on "Today".)


The Aftermath: Ann Curry and Natalie Morales Have Been Promoted:

After MEREDITH VIEIRA exits the "Today" show on June 8th, ANN CURRY will become MATT LAUER'S co-host. Ann has been the show's newsreader for the past 14 years. --NATALIE MORALES . . . who co-hosts the third hour of the "Today" show will take over for Ann . . . and MSNBC's SAVANNAH GUTHRIE will get Natalie's old job.


Matt Lauer Says He's *Not* Leaving "Today" . . . But Admits to Talking with Katie Couric About a New Talk Show:

Now that this MEREDITH VIEIRA chaos has been settled . . . what about the rumor that MATT LAUER will leave the "Today" show when his contract is up to join the talk show that KATIE COURIC is supposedly planning to do? --Well, Matt says he has talked with Katie . . . but nothing is in the works. --He explains, quote, "We certainly spoke about the possibility. But it turned into just talk, and that's where we left it. It's not going to happen. I'm going to be here for a long period of time and I think that's the best way to answer [that]." --Matt's current "Today" show contract isn't up until December of NEXT year, 2012.


Meredith Vieira's "Today" Show Highlight Reel:

The "Hollywood Reporter" put together a list of MEREDITH VIEIRA'S "five most memorable moments" on the "Today" show. --The list includes: Challenging then-senator HILLARY CLINTON on her vote in favor of the war in Iraq . . . falling on her backside while ice-skating with WILL FERRELL . . . and unleashing an S-word on the air. (--For the whole list . . . complete with videos . . . hit up this link. ***WARNING***: The S-word in the third video is UNCENSORED.)


Robin Roberts Is *Not* Leaving "Good Morning America":

Here's a word of caution for you, in the wake of this "Today" show insanity: Speculating about the impending departures of morning talk show anchors is a SLIPPERY SLOPE. So please, watch yourself. --TheDaily.com claims ROBIN ROBERTS is leaving "Good Morning America" at the end of the year . . . in part because she's so much taller than co-anchor George Stephanopoulos. (???) (--Robin is six feet tall, George is 5-foot-6.) --Well, "Good Morning America's" executive producer says that's not true. He tells the "Hollywood Reporter", quote, "[It's] total garbage. We told them that it was total garbage and they wouldn't listen. It remains total garbage."


"Jersey Shore's" Italian Adventure Has Been Delayed Yet Again:

Part of the fourth season of "Jersey Shore" is supposed to take place in Florence, Italy . . . but production has been delayed yet again. --This time, the mayor of Florence suspended the show's permits because the president of Italy was visiting the city . . . and apparently they didn't want "Jersey Shore" to get in the way. --MTV says it's no biggie . . . they say in the, quote, "spirit of cooperation" they've agreed to push back the start of filming until the president's visit is over. It sounds like they expect to be cleared to begin later this week . . . if they haven't already. (--"Jersey Shore" was supposed to begin filming in Italy last month, but it was previously held up because of contract negotiations and various permit issues.)


Bristol Palin Is Moving In with Kyle Massey . . . for a Reality Show:

BRISTOL PALIN is doing a reality show for the BIO channel, which will involve her moving in with 19-year-old Disney Channel star KYLE MASSEY. (???) Bristol and Kyle became friends while competing on "Dancing with the Stars" together.
--The show follows Bristol's move from Alaska to L.A., where she'll work "at a small charity." She's bringing her two-year-old son Tripp along. It's unclear what Kyle is going to be doing. There's no title yet, but it's expected to premiere later this year.
Tuesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"NBA Playoffs: Bulls vs. Hawks" [Eastern Conference Semifinals] . . . 8:00 to 10:30 P.M. Eastern on TNT. (--The Chicago Bulls host the Atlanta Hawks.)

--"The Voice" [Battle Round] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Reba, Sia, Monica, and producer Adam Blackstone serve as advisors to the coaches when they pit two of their own team members against each other in a duet competition.)

--"Dancing with the Stars" [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Adele and Michael Bolton perform.)

--"Raising Hope" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox. (--"My Name Is Earl" co-stars Jaime Pressly and Ethan Suplee guest star as a neighboring couple whose conversations are being transmitted through Hope's baby monitor.)

--"Becoming Chaz" . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on OWN. (--Cher and Sonny Bono's only daughter Chastity tells of her transformation from female to male in this candid documentary of the now Chaz Bono.)

--"After the Doc: With Rosie O'Donnell" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on OWN. (--Rosie O'Donnell speaks with Chaz Bono and his girlfriend Jennifer Elia regarding the documentary "Becoming Chaz".)

--"The Good Wife" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Sarah Silverman guest stars as the owner of an adultery website that's linked to a client's murder.)


TODAY'S NEW VIDEO GAMES

The LEGO "Pirates of the Caribbean" Game Hits Stores Today:

--"LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean" (E10+) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, Wii, DS, 3DS, and PSP. The latest LEGO adventure game is based on all four "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies, including the new one that comes out next week, "On Stranger Tides". This one also includes a split screen option that allows you to explore separately during co-op instead of being stuck on one screen while the other player is dragging their feet. I don't want anyone holding me back while I'm trying to swashbuckle. (Teaser) (Trailer)

--"Brink" (T) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and PC. A first-person shooter set on a futuristic floating city, after a global environmental crisis has cut it off from the rest of humanity. One key multiplayer feature in this game is each team's deployment area is protected by indestructible turrets, which is VERY appealing to anyone who's ever been spawn-killed. Another feature is the ability to disguise yourself as an enemy you've killed. Brink" also uses a movement system called SMART, Smooth Movement Across Random Terrain. Basically it helps you go over obstacles without having to push additional buttons to jump or climb over things. (Trailer)

--"The First Templar" (T) . . . on Xbox360 and PC. A young knight forms an alliance with a noblewoman to uncover a conspiracy in the Templar knights and solve the mystery of the Holy Grail. You can play it as local split-screen or online co-op. (Trailer)

--"MX vs ATV Alive" (E) . . . on Xbox360 and PS3. This is the fourth off-road racing game in the "MX vs ATV" series. This one actually sells at a reduced price, because they know they'll make up the difference in all the downloadable content. (Trailer)

--"Virtua Tennis 4" (E) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii. The latest "Virtua Tennis" game features 19 of the best players in the world including Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Maria Sharapova and Serena Williams. And supports motion-controller technology for the Kinect, Playstation Move, and Wii Motion+. (Trailer)

ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)

NEW ON VIDEO TODAY

--"Justin Bieber: Never Say Never" (G) (In stores Friday) A documentary about Justin Bieber's rise from being a normal Canadian teenager to becoming a DREAMY, GLOBAL sensation. You may also remember that "Never Say Never" is the name of that "Karate Kid" song he did with Jaden Smith. (Trailer)

--"No Strings Attached" (R) Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher enjoy carnal relations with each other under a strict "no strings attached" rule . . . until Ashton breaks the rule by falling in love. Their random group of friends includes Ludacris and "The Office's" Mindy Kaling. (Trailer)

--"Blue Valentine" (R) Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams play a married couple spending one night away from their daughter in order to try to save their failing marriage. Much of the story is told through flashbacks to happier times when they first started dating. (Trailer)

TV Series On DVD:

--"Home Improvement: 20th Anniversary Complete Collection" . . . a 25-disc DVD set. (--It ran for eight seasons.)

--"Webster: Season 2" . . . a four-disc DVD set. (--It ran for six seasons.)

NEW MUSIC OUT TODAY

--"Move Like This", The Cars (--This is their first album in nearly 24 years . . . since "Door to Door" came out in 1987. The album is streaming on RollingStone.com.) (--Unlike The New Cars, this reunion does feature singer Ric Ocasek. But a full reunion isn't possible because bassist Benjamin Orr . . . who sang several Cars songs, including "Drive" . . . died of pancreatic cancer in 2000.)

--"Matthew Morrison", Matthew Morrison (--He plays Mr. Scheuster on "Glee". This is his debut album. His guests include Gwyneth Paltrow and Elton John.)

--"Lovestrong", Christina Perri (--This is her debut album. Her song "Jar of Hearts" was featured on "So You Think You Can Dance" last year. You can check it out . . . along with some of her other stuff . . . at her MySpace page.)


Justin Bieber Didn't Appreciate Marg Helgenberger Calling Him a "Brat":

JUSTIN BIEBER did NOT appreciate MARG HELGENBERGER saying that he was, quote, "kind of a brat" on the set of "CSI" . . . and he criticized the media for making it "news." --Justin went on a little rant on Twitter . . . saying, quote, "It's kinda lame when someone you met briefly and never worked with comments on you. I will continue to wish them luck and be kind." --He added, quote, "Even last week [the media] had me [being] scolded on a plane in the news, because I wasn't in my seat fast enough. She was right . . . and I sat down. That's news? --"I know who I am and sometimes people are just going to say what they want. Keep your head up, and be the man your mama raised. #KillEmWithKindness. --"Rumors are just that . . . rumors. In the end, if you just be kind and be yourself people will know who you are. That goes for anyone I think." (--I still think that when Marg said Justin was a brat, she meant it more in the prankster sort of way, than the diva sort of way. I mean, she was talking about him locking a producer in a closet and punching a cake.) (--But regardless, Justin's point is noted. He's responding in a mature way to a problem that . . . as an international superstar . . . is NOT going away.)


Michael Stipe Tried to Save Kurt Cobain from Killing Himself . . . By Offering to Collaborate with Him?

R.E.M. singer MICHAEL STIPE sensed that KURT COBAIN was on the brink of destruction before he killed himself in April of 1994 . . . so he reached out to Kurt to try to save him. What did he do? --He offered to COLLABORATE with him. (???) --Michael tells "Interview" magazine, quote, "I knew him and his daughter. And Courtney [Love] came and stayed at my house. R.E.M. worked on two records in Seattle and Peter Buck lived next door to Kurt and Courtney. --"So we all knew each other. I reached out to him with [a] project as an attempt to prevent what was going to happen. I was doing that to try to save his life." But Kurt basically gave him the cold shoulder. --Michael said, quote, "I sent him a plane ticket and a driver, and he tacked the plane ticket to the wall in the bedroom and the driver sat outside the house for 10 hours. Kurt wouldn't come out and wouldn't answer the phone." (--He didn't elaborate on what the project was, but R.E.M. would've been recording "Monster" around that time.) (--So if Michael was offering Kurt an opportunity to appear on "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?", you could understand why he ignored him.)


Another New Lady Gaga Song Has Been Released:

LADY GAGA unleashed another song off "Born This Way" yesterday. This one's called "The Edge of Glory" . . . and it features CLARENCE CLEMONS of BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN'S E STREET BAND on saxophone. (--Listen to it, here.) --Gaga will release another "Born This Way" song next Monday. It's called "Hair".


T.I. Has Roughly 142 Days Left Before He's Released:

T.I. is scheduled to be a free man again on September 29th, which means he has roughly 142 days left to cross out on his cell wall. --At that time, T.I. would have served 11 months for violating his probation. He was arrested for drug possession in September of last year. (--T.I. was on probation for felony weapons charges. He'd previously served 10 months for that.)


Carrie Underwood Didn't Enjoy Kissing Mike Fisher While He Had His Playoff Beard . . . And There's a Photo of Carrie at Her High School Reunion:

CARRIE UNDERWOOD'S hockey-playing husband Mike Fisher is a total team player. Last month he had to drop the gloves and go after an opponent who landed a cheap shot on his teammate. --And he also joined his fellow Nashville Predators players to go UNSHAVEN during their Stanley Cup playoff run . . . which ended last night when they were eliminated by Vancouver in game six. --Problem is, the beard was a pain on Carrie's face. She says, quote, "We're almost at the point where we're having kissing refusal, because it hurts! It hurts my face." And it sounds like Mike wasn't getting much lovin' from Carrie. --She continues, quote, "He's not the nicest guy either. He's focused on game day, and then with the beard, I'm like, 'Baby, you look mean, so you need to work on being a little extra nice to make up for the beard.'" --Speaking of Carrie Underwood . . . she recently lived the ultimate high school reunion dream: She showed up as a superstar. Carrie actually went back to Oklahoma for her 10-year class reunion at Checotah High. --There's even a photo on Twitter of Carrie and her loser high school classmates. Just kidding about them being losers. But not about the photo. It's out there. (--Here's that photo.)


TUESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS

Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

There's a rumor going around that KATIE HOLMES is pregnant. She's not. (Full Story)


PAUL MCCARTNEY gave his fiancée a $650,000 rock. (Full Story)


DONALD TRUMP told Fox News that he's, quote, "the least racist person there is" . . . and pointed out that a black guy once won "The Apprentice". (Full Story)


STANLEY TUCCI will play talk show host Caesar Flickerman in "The Hunger Games". (Full Story)


TAYLOR MOMSEN and JESSICA SZOHR are no longer series regulars on "Gossip Girl". Their characters will only make guest appearances on the upcoming fifth season. (Full Story)


KID ROCK will be the subject of Comedy Central's next roast. There's no word yet who'll do the roasting. It's scheduled to tape on August 14th. (Full Story)


The early word from the first day of "X Factor" auditions is that L.A. REID is the "meanest judge." He told one contestant, quote, "When was the last time you performed? 18 years ago? Whatever made you stop then, you should've stuck with that decision." (Full Story)

NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

BIN LADEN IS STILL DEAD

Herbal Viagra Was Found In Bin Laden's Medicine Cabinet:

Yep, just like you would've expected, OSAMA BIN LADEN'S genitals didn't work. --According to NBC News, one of the medications found in bin Laden's medicine cabinet was HERBAL VIAGRA. Not real Viagra . . . the kind of stuff that probably doesn't work, and gets sold through spam emails and at Spencer's Gifts. --The bottle was of Avena syrup. Avena is a wild oat extract that's generally marketed as an over-the-counter engorgement aid. --Bin Laden's medicine cabinet also had drugs to treat high blood pressure, ulcers, shingles, and nerve pain. (Daily Mail)


In a House Fire, 53% of People Would Save Their Photos and Only 12% Would Save Their Electronics:

Remember this every time you hear that technology is stealing our souls. We're still a bunch of sentimental fools. We're just sentimental fools who also happen to have fantastic TVs and iPads. --In a new survey, Americans made it very clear that in a house fire, nostalgia and memories are more important than electronics.--The survey asked: In a house fire, after you knew your loved ones and pets were safe, what one item would you try to save from your home? And PHOTOS were by far the number one answer, getting 53% of the vote. --Electronics only got 12%. --A specific item of clothing came in third, at 10% . . . jewelry was fourth, at 9% . . . and a particular book was fifth, at 3%. --The rest of the people gave another miscellaneous answer. (PR Newswire)


Here's How Much It Screws Up Your Property Value To Live Near Power Plants, Foreclosed Homes, Sex Offenders, and More:

It's hard enough to sell a house for a reasonable price today WITHOUT living next to radiation, pedophiles, and jerk neighbors. So when they join in and pile on . . . man, does it screw you. --The website MainStreet.com studied how different external neighborhood factors can pulverize the value of your home. Here are some of the worst offenders, all of which are totally and completely out of your control.

--Power plants. Living within two miles of a nuclear plant knocks down your property value by 4% to 7%.

--Landfills. Living within two miles of a landfill knocks 6% to 10% off your home's value. If that landfill happens to handle hazardous waste, it goes up to 15%.

--Sex offenders. Having one of these a-holes within a tenth of a mile of your home knocks the value down by 9% . . . and makes selling your home take about 10% longer.

--Foreclosed homes. If people in your neighborhood are getting foreclosed on, it's REALLY bad for you. One foreclosed property within 250 feet hurts your value by an average of 27%.

--Bad landscaping. If your neighbors don't take care of their lawns, it can knock 5% to 10% off your price. But if YOU have an amazing lawn and landscaping, it can INCREASE your price by that same amount. (MainStreet)
McDonald's Is Spending $1 Billion To Redesign Its Restaurants . . . To Look More Like Starbucks:

Apparently, McDonald's is jealous that homeless people seem to feel more comfortable spending $1.50 on a coffee and hanging around Starbucks all day than at one of their restaurants. So they're making strong moves to fix that. --Yesterday, McDonald's announced that they'll be spending $1 BILLION to revamp the majority of their 14,000 U.S. locations . . . essentially, to make them look more like Starbucks and less like playgrounds. --They're getting rid of the bright red and yellow, the fiberglass tables, and the steel chairs. --Instead they'll use muted oranges and yellows, wooden tables, and faux leather chairs. There will be earth-toned facades instead of white walls and glass doors. They want you to come in, feel like an adult, and stay for a while. --It's all part of McDonald's plan to try to make dining more of an experience . . . and less of the get-in-get-out experience we're used to. Basically, they want to channel what companies like Starbucks and Apple have done to get people into their stores. --Max Carmona is McDonald's senior director of restaurant design. He says, quote, "We're not trying to be Apple. But we can be inspired by them. When you're inside an Apple Store, you almost feel like you're inside an iPad and you want to stay there. --"We want people to walk into McDonald's and have the same feeling." --This revamp is going to take until 2015. This year, they'll makeover about 800 locations. They've already started with a few in the Tampa area. (USA Today) (--Here's a photo of a revamped McDonald's in Tampa.)


The Most Common Worry Before Your First Kiss is . . . Should I Keep My Eyes Open?

By this point in your life, you probably have a fuzzy, idealized memory of your first kiss. Meaning you just remember the good parts and have completely blocked out all the awkwardness. --A new study out of Canada asked people to think back on their first kiss, and try to remember what their biggest WORRY was at that moment. Here are the top five responses . . .

#1.) 33% said it was "Should I keep my eyes open or should I close them?"

#2.) 15% said it was "Does my breath smell bad?"

#3.) 14% said "Should I French kiss?"

#4.) 9% said "Do I look attractive?"

#5.) And 7% said it was "Will my parents catch me?" (PR Newswire)


A Police Dispatcher Was Fired For Self-Fondling, and Asking Whether Co-Workers Had Their Naughty Parts Pierced. Oh, and She's a Woman:

In Cedar County, Iowa, a sheriff's department dispatcher was fired after repeatedly behaving in a sexual and inappropriate manner around the office. --That included constantly talking about sex . . . asking co-workers if their naughty parts were pierced . . . sending a text showing naked people painted like frogs (???) . . . and grabbing her own breasts and buttocks. --That's right, HER. --The employee here was a 29-year-old FEMALE named Amy Willey of Lowden, Iowa. She was let go from the sheriff's department last year, but the reason she was dismissed just came out. --Besides fondling herself in the office and asking an officer if his junk was pierced, she also discussed love toys, and told an officer that after he broke up with his girlfriend, he'd better make sure, quote, "his pipes don't get rusty." --The final straw came when she made suggestive comments to another officer on an office phone and the call was recorded. Both the officer and Amy were married. --All of this came out when the department denied Amy unemployment benefits. She went to an unemployment hearing . . . and the judge ruled that because of her behavior, she SHOULD be denied benefits. (Des Moines Register)


Here's How a Man Saved His Life By Finally Deciding To Shave His Forest Down Below:

For every man left out there who's fighting the modern trends and has never trimmed his GIANT FOREST down below . . . this just might be the final nudge you need to take an electric razor to your man stuff. --Back in February, a 32-year-old named Phil Stoker of Portsmouth, England was sitting at a bar with some friends, and talking about grooming 'down there.' One of Phil's friends said he'd just shaved himself bare and he loved it. --Phil laughed . . . but secretly got curious. So a few days later, he took his friend's advice and prepared to de-hair his entire package.--And that's when he found a lump. --He went to a doctor and was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Thanks to his adventure in shaving, he caught it VERY early, so after just one chemo session last week, it looks to be completely gone. (Daily Mirror)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS

Mugshot of the Day: A Man Whose Forehead Tattoo Preemptively Asks For Forgiveness:

Maybe this guy can see into THE FUTURE. On Saturday morning, 51-year-old Robert Norton Kennedy of Horry County, South Carolina was arrested for assault and battery. And his tattoo seems like he was already prepared for that. --Because Robert's mugshot shows his forehead tattoo, which says, quote, "With God, all things are possible. God loves you. Please forgive me if I say or do anything stupid. Thank you." (The Smoking Gun) (--Here's his mugshot.)


A Man Escapes From the Police . . . Then Gets Caught When He Goes To Home Depot To Find a Tool To Remove His Handcuffs:

On Sunday morning, the police in Pensacola, Florida arrested a man for battery after he got into a fight. He was taken to the hospital, handcuffed, and treated for injuries. --At the hospital, he managed to escape, even though he was still handcuffed. But then things started falling apart. --About an hour later, the police got a call from employees at a Home Depot near the hospital. They said there was a guy in there in handcuffs asking what he could buy at the Home Depot to REMOVE them. --The police came and arrested him. (Pensacola News Journal)


A Man Robbed 24 Banks To Pay Back a Loan From His Ex and Win Her Back . . . But She Turned Him In To the Cops Instead:

A few years back, 34-year-old Adam Lynch of Denver, Colorado was dumped by his girlfriend, a woman named Julia Lundstrom. Part of their fight centered around money . . . he owed her about $11,000. --And he came up with a strategy to win her back. He went on a two-year run of BANK ROBBERIES . . . where he successfully robbed 24 banks in Colorado, California, Wyoming, and Washington . . . to pay her back. --He finally got her to meet with him and paid her the money. He said he got it from some stock dividends, but that didn't ring true with her. She started checking up on him and finally got him to admit he'd gotten the money from bank robberies. --Instead of winning her back with the money and the honesty . . . she called the cops. He's facing up to 20 years in prison. (Denver Post)


A Couple Who Robbed a Bank To Pay For Their Wedding Are Going To Prison:

On January 8th of last year, 28-year-old Charles Koch and 27-year-old Cheri Harper of Stratford, New Jersey went into a branch of Newfield National Bank, claimed they had a bomb, and got the teller to give them some cash. Then they took off. --Turns out they wanted the money so they could afford a trip to Las Vegas from Jersey . . . so they could get MARRIED. --As romantic as that sounds, they were captured driving through Oklahoma five days later and were arrested for first-degree robbery. And now, they've both been sentenced to seven years in prison. (Gloucester County Times)


After a Knife Fight Between a Man and His Cat, the Man Has To Be Airlifted To the Hospital:

Details are still kinda sparse on this one, but it's so incomprehensibly INSANE that we're just going to lay out the facts . . . and all use our imaginations to fill in the details. --On Friday, a man in Cleveland, Texas got into a massive fight with his pet cat. --Like, a massive fight. The man ended up PULLING A KNIFE on the cat. --The cat suffered some injuries in the fight and eventually had to be put down. --The man didn't suffer mortal wounds but didn't exactly escape unscathed . . . the cat injured him so severely that he had to be AIRLIFTED to a hospital in Houston. --That's all we know for sure. We don't know how the man is doing . . . or what could possibly spark a fight-to-the-death between a man and his pet cat. (Cleveland Advocate)


RANDOM News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Police in Detroit are trying to crack a villainous crime ring that distracts and then robs innocent shoppers . . . and the thieves are all middle-aged women. (--Check out the awesome surveillance photos here.)



A 19-year-old member of Austria's national swim team got trapped in a hole on a private beach near Fort Lauderdale on Sunday . . . when he tried to bury himself in sand. He dug a hole seven-feet deep . . . it collapsed around him . . . and it took 60 rescuers two hours to get him out. (Full Story)



Three people suffered minor injuries in Washington, D.C. on Sunday night . . . when someone LITERALLY shouted "fire" in a crowded movie theater. It was a hoax, but the theater was evacuated, and both the police and the fire department had to respond. (Full Story)


STUPID VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) The First Full-Face Transplant Recipient in the U.S. Held a Press Conference . . . And He Looks Pretty Good:

Less than two months ago, a 26-year-old named Dallas Wiens underwent the first full-face transplant surgery in the United States. He held his first press conference yesterday, and he actually looks pretty good. --He's still blind, but he said his main goal was to be able to feel his 4-year-old daughter's kisses again. And doctors say he'll be able to soon. Dallas even said that when his daughter saw him for the first time, she said, "Daddy, you're so handsome". --In November 2008, Dallas was up in a cherry-picker helping to paint his church. His head grazed a high-voltage power line, and he basically lost his entire face to severe burns. But doctors used donor tissue to transplant a forehead, nose, lips, and muscles. --You can check out his press conference on CNN.com. (--Search for "Full-Face Transplant Recipient Speaks." The press conference video is halfway down the page.) (--WARNING: The before photo at the top of the page is pretty graphic.)


#2.) A Video of a Guy Teasing His 'Talking Dog' With Stories About Bacon, Steak and Cat Treats, Is a Hit on YouTube:

A guy made a video of his dog, then edited in voiceover to make it look they were having a conversation, and the dog could talk back. The YouTube video is called "Ultimate Dog Tease", and it's racked up over 10 million views in just over a week. --He basically teases the dog by talking about bacon and steak, and makes it look like the dog is reacting. It's pretty stupid, but it's funny and kind of believable in a weird way. In fact, some idiot on YouTube left a comment asking, "Is this real?"


#3.) And Now . . . A Dog Trying to Get a Statue to Play Fetch:

There's a new video on CollegeHumor.com that shows a dog trying to get a statue to play fetch. It's a metal statue sitting on a park bench, and the dog keeps barking at it and dropping a stick at its feet. Meanwhile, the guys taping it can't stop laughing. (--Search for "Dog Wants Statue to Play Fetch." It picks the stick up and puts it on the statue's lap at :32.)


#4.) If You're a Cat Person . . . Here's a Kitten Terrified of a Tennis Ball:

If dogs don't do it for you, there's a YouTube video called "Kitten vs. a Scary Thing" where a kitten is terrified . . . of a tennis ball sitting in the middle of a room. And the guy who did the video synched it up perfectly with dramatic music from the movie "Alien".


#5.) A Fake Look 'Behind the Scenes' . . . Of Michael Bolton's 1993 Music Video "Said I Loved You But I Lied":

There's a new video on FunnyOrDie.com where "Daily Show" alum ROB RIGGLE plays the producer of MICHAEL BOLTON'S 1993 music video for "Said I Loved You But I Lied". --And he claims Bolton got hopped up on peyote and absinthe during the shoot. He also talks about Bolton's brave decision to wear denim-on-denim. Bolton himself even does a short cameo at the end . . . but it's not that funny. (--Search for "Behind the Music Video with Michael Bolton & Rob Riggle.") (--WARNING: This video includes the F-word, the S-word, the B-word, and other graphic language.)
Three Things Companies Do While Hiring . . . That Should Be Illegal:

Fourteen million Americans are currently unemployed, and the things some companies do while hiring doesn't help. Here are three things companies do while hiring . . . that should be illegal according to WalletPop.com.

#1.) Discriminating Against the Unemployed. Companies are allowed to post job listings that say they're only interested in hiring people who currently have a job. And it tends to weed out the people who aren't really qualified. --But it also does nothing to help the national unemployment rate, which bounced back up to 9% last month. --And it discriminates against women who take time off to have a baby, then want to go back to work.

#2.) Employment-Based Credit Checks. If you apply for a job, the company is allowed to check your credit history to see how responsible you are with your finances . . . which makes sense if you're applying for a job as a banker. --For most jobs though, it's not really necessary. But according to the Society for Human Resource Management, 60% of all employers do credit checks on their employees. --And obviously, if you've been out of work for a while, your credit might be less-than-perfect.

#3.) Asking for Someone's Social Security Number Before They Have the Job. Obviously, you have to give it to them for tax reasons and to prove who you are. --But there's no good reason for a company to ask for it until they've offered you the job and you've accepted. Identity theft affects nearly 10 million people in the U.S. each year. --And if you have to send your social security number to ten or twenty different companies you're applying to, you're much more at risk. --Plus, if your identity is compromised, it can affect your credit . . . which we already know can prevent you from getting a job in the first place. (WalletPop.com)