THE RULES OF GETTING BACK WITH AN EX

WANT TO KNOW IF YOU SHOULD GET BACK WITH YOUR EX???

We all have a "relationship well". That's the group of people you've either dated, or gotten intimate with . . . but for one reason or another, things didn't work out.

Anyway, if you've been thinking about dipping into your well in hopes of reuniting with an ex . . . here are some general guidelines to let you know WHEN . . . or even IF . . . you should.

--SOMETIMES take the loser back if . . .

#1.) You broke up because the timing was off
#2.) You broke up because of distance

--MAYBE take the loser back if . . .

#1.) You broke up because of an addiction . . . and you truly believe your ex is committed to staying clean.
#2.) You broke up because your ex cheated. (--I know what you're going to say. "No way. Once a cheater, always a cheater." But a lot of people are able to make it work after infidelity occurs. Shades of gray, my friends.)

--But NEVER take the loser back if . . .

#1.) Your biological clock is ticking and you just want to have a baby with SOMEONE.
#2.) Your ex was violent and / or abusive during your relationship. (--Obviously, I'm just reinforcing what you already know with this one.) (CNN)

LEAVE YOUR WALET AT HOME TONIGHT

FIVE IDEAS FOR A FREE DATE:

#1.) ART GALLERY. Art gallery openings are often open to the public . . . and checking out big-ticket art won't FEEL free. The galleries usually serve free wine and snacks, and all the different art pieces will give you plenty to talk about afterwards.

#2.) WATCH AMATEUR SPORTS. Little leagues, local schools, and amateur sports leagues usually don't charge for spots in the bleachers. You can liven things up by making bets on little things like what the score will be by halftime, or which team will kick the first field goal.

#3.) HEAD OUTDOORS. Parks and other outdoor spots offer space to hang for free. So find out your date's favorite outdoor activity, whether it's hiking, frisbee, or just going for a stroll, and center your date around that.

#4.) COOKING COMPETITION. Restaurants can quickly cut into your paycheck, so try this cost-free alternative: both of you have to dig through the fridge and kitchen cabinets and concoct a meal based on whatever you find.

#5.) PLAY BOARD GAMES. With the right opponent, a few heated rounds of cards, chess, or Scrabble is more fun than going out. You can see whether your date has any brains, or show off your own, and get a sense of how the two of you handle competition. (Happen Magazine)

DIET TIPS

***FIVE DIET TIPS TO MAKE YOU LIVE LONGER***

A lot of things affect your health, but it all starts with your diet. Studies show that making a few small changes to the way you eat can add YEARS to your life. Here are five eating habits that will make you live longer . . .

#1.) A DAILY DOSE OF OMEGA-3. The recommended amount of omega-3, an unsaturated fatty acid, helps lower cholesterol and reduces your risk of cancer, stroke, and heart attack. Flaxseed, walnuts, and some leafy greens have it, but seafood is the best source.

#2.) EAT ANTIOXIDANTS EVERY 4 HOURS. They slow the aging process by protecting cells from harmful free radicals. But some antioxidants . . . like vitamin C . . . are water soluble, which means they only stay in your body for a few hours.

--Brightly colored fruits and vegetables are loaded with antioxidants. So try to have a different fruit or veggie with every meal.

#3.) DOUBLE YOUR FIBER. It helps prevent cancer, and it's good for your heart. In fact, every 10 grams of fiber that you eat each day reduces your risk of heart disease by 17 percent. Thirty grams per day is perfect, but most Americans eat half of that, or less.

#4.) STOP EATING WHEN YOU'RE 80% FULL. Researchers think that a low-calorie diet is the key component to long life. So stop eating when you're SATISFIED, not stuffed. And if you have to unzip anything after dinner . . . you’ve eaten too much.

#5.) EAT MORE PROTEIN. It helps repair the cells in your body, which is essential to your health . . . especially as you get older. Getting one-third of your calories from protein will help your body regenerate . . . and hopefully make you live longer. (Yahoo.com)

BRIT DID IT AGAIN

BRITNEY SPEARS HAS RELEASED THE VIDEO FOR HER "CONTROVERSIAL" SINGLE, "IF U SEEK AMY":

(--WARNING!!! Be very CAREFUL how you say "If U Seek Amy".)

BRITNEY SPEARS has released the video for her "scandalous" single, "If U Seek Amy" . . . (--which is a SEXUAL double-entendre that contains the F-word, spelled out.) The video addresses the public freak-out over the song's title. It starts with a news lady slowly speaking the song's "obscene" title. Then she comes back on at the end and says, quote, "Doesn't make any sense, does it?"

The video is pretty racy. You know, typical Britney. (--If you're not put off by the song . . . and / or sexually-suggestive content . . . you can check out the official video. . .)

JO BRO'S MAKE IT ON SOUTH PARK

THE JONAS BROTHERS HAVE ANNOUNCED A BIG SUMMER TOUR:

The JONAS BROTHERS have announced a massive world tour, which includes 44 dates in the U.S. and Canada. Not all the dates are announced yet, but they'll be going to Europe, Central and South America this spring . . . they'll be in the U.S. and Canada this summer . . . and in the fall, they'll go back to Europe, then hit up Australia and Asia.

--The North American leg will begin on June 20th in Dallas. ("American Idol" champ) JORDIN SPARKS and (the rock band) HONOR SOCIETY are opening for them. They hit Boston on July 17.

(--You can find all the dates that have been announced, here . . .) http://www.jonasbrothers.com/?content=tour

(--And here's an EXCITING video the boys made to hype the tour . . .)

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--IN OTHER JO BRO NEWS:

If you missed it, "South Park" took on the Jonas Brothers last night. (--The Brothers themselves did NOT participate in the episode, obviously. In the episode, Kenny took his new girlfriend to one of their concerts . . . hoping that it'd help him get to "second base". But the Jonas Brothers ruined his plan . . . when they gave Kenny and his girlfriend PURITY RINGS just like the ones they wear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smuFlNhGz18

(Please note: This clip may not be safe for kids.. Watch at your own risk)

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?

THERE'S A SIMPLE ONLINE QUIZ YOU CAN TAKE TO FIND OUT IF YOU HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM:

According to the National Institute of Health, nearly ONE in 20 Americans . . . are alcoholics. But that begs the question: Are you one of them?

--If you're not sure, there's a simple online quiz you can take to see how your drinking habits compare to those of your peers . . . in order to determine if you have a problem with alcohol. (ABC News)

(--You can take the quiz here . . .)
http://rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/IsYourDrinkingPatternRisky/WhatsYourPattern.asp

"FORBES'" LIST OF BILLIONAIRES

THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD IS (ONCE AGAIN) BILL GATES:

Yesterday, "Forbes" released its annual list of the World's Billionaires. Here's a look at the FIVE richest people in the world . . . along with their net worth.

#5.) Ingvar Kamprad and family (--Sweden; Dude owns IKEA!!!) ($22 BILLION)

#4.) Lawrence Ellison (--U.S.) ($22.5 BILLION)

#3.) Carlos Slim Helu and family (--Mexico) ($35 BILLION)

#2.) Warren Buffett ($37 BILLION)

#1.) Bill Gates ($40 BILLION) (--Last year, Buffett dethroned Gates as the world's richest man. But this year Gates is back on top . . . despite losing $18 BILLION.)

--OTHER STATS ABOUT THE WORLD'S BILLIONAIRES:

-- Last year, there were 1,125 billionaires in the world. But, this year, that number dropped by 30% . . . to 793 billionaires. The U.S. alone has 110 fewer billionaires than last year. The average net worth of the world's billionaires is $3 BILLION.--The collective net worth of the world's billionaires is $2.4 TRILLION . . . down from $4.4 TRILLION last year. --There are 55 billionaires in New York City alone. (Forbes / New York Times / Alter Net)(--You can check out the full list of billionaires here . . .) --> REMEMBER, THE WORLD NEED BILLIONAIRES TO INVEST IN DIFFERENT PROJECTS!

http://www.forbes.com/lists/2009/10/billionaires-2009-richest-people_The-Worlds-Billionaires_Rank.html

READ THIS BEFORE YOU RELOCATE

***FOUR THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU RELOCATE FOR WORK***

If you're having trouble finding a job, you might be thinking of relocating for work. But don't just pack up a duffel bag and set off into the great unknown. If you do, you'll fall flat on your face. Here are four things you should do before you relocate for work . . .
#1.) DON'T MOVE UNTIL YOU'VE FOUND A JOB. Jobs are scarce EVERYWHERE right now. If you relocate BEFORE you have a steady paycheck coming in, you'll probably end up moving back home with your tail between your legs.

#2.) RESEARCH TARGET LOCATIONS. Obviously, a small farming town isn't a good choice if you're a software engineer who's allergic to hay. And moving across the country is a bad idea if you know you'll be unhappy that far from the people you care about.

--So make sure you research climate, culture, and cost-of-living before you relocate. Because if you move to a place you HATE, you won't be happy.

#3.) LOOK FOR JOB OPPORTUNITIES. Once you've found some cities or towns you're interested in, find out if there's a job market that fits your skills. Look on job-search websites or call the city's chamber of commerce.

--Then be prepared to cross some cities off your list if there aren't any jobs that fit your criteria.

#4.) TAKE CARE OF THE DETAILS. If you take a job hundreds of miles away, make sure you have the have enough money to get there. A U-Haul from one coast to the other will cost a few thousand dollars, and employers WON'T necessarily pay for it.

--If you're looking for work overseas, you'll need to obtain work permits and visas before you start your new job. So take care of those details as soon as possible.
(AskMen.com)

911 MEATBALLS

YOU WON'T BELIEVE HOW OFTEN MORONS CALL 911 TO REPORT RIDICULOUS NON-EMERGENCIES:

I was under the impression that anyone with even an ounce of sense understands that 911 is only for real emergencies . . . like if someone's dying. That's why I'm amazed at the sheer number of MORONS who call 911 to report ridiculous non-emergencies . . . like to report that McDonald's has run out of McNuggets or to ask for details about traffic. (ABC News)

(--You can listen to a bunch of moronic 911 calls here. WARNING!!! Some of these calls contain unedited profanity . . .)

http://www.911callers.com/

PREGNANCY MYTH'S

***FOUR LIES WOMEN TELL EACH OTHER ABOUT PREGNANCY***

Are your friends with kids pressuring you to become a parent ASAP? Do they talk about how great motherhood is and how easy labor was? Well, if you're not sure what to believe, here are four lies women tell each other about pregnancy and parenthood . . .

#1.) YOU'LL EASILY LOSE BABY WEIGHT IF YOU BREASTFEED. It might help, but losing the weight is still a challenge. And even if you hit the gym every day . . . which you won't have time to do . . . your stomach will never look the same again.

#2.) YOU'RE PROGRAMMED TO FORGET THE PAIN OF LABOR. Actually, giving birth is pretty terrifying. Even if you're drugged up, you won't forget all the blood and bodily fluids, or the fact that perfect strangers were staring at your most-private parts.

#3.) YOU'LL GET USED TO SLEEPING LESS. Actually, once the baby is born, you'll probably go INSANE from lack of sleep. Even military men go nuts after a few sleepless nights in a P.O.W. camp . . . and YOU were not trained for it.

#4.) A BABY WILL BRING YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND CLOSER. Well, maybe at first . . . but you'll soon realize that you can't do fun things together like you used to. Plus, you'll be so exhausted that sex will be the LAST thing on your mind. (Yahoo.com)

CAN YOU SMELL A LIAR??

THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY WANTS TO KNOW IF IT'S POSSIBLE TO *SMELL* WHEN SOMEONE IS LYING:

If you thought the Department of Homeland Security was kind of creepy before, just listen to THIS . . .

On Friday, the Department of Homeland Security posted on its website that they'd be conducting a study to, "determine if human odor signatures can serve as an indicator of deception."

In other words, they want to know if you can SMELL when someone is lying. --The notice continues, quote, "[The study] will consist primarily of the analysis and study of the human odor samples collected to determine if a deception indicator can be found.

"This research has the potential for enhancing our ability to detect individuals with harmful intent. A positive result from this proof-of-principle study would provide evidence that human odor is a useful indicator for certain human behaviors." (UPI)

WHERE DOES BELLY-BUTTON LINT COME FROM?

AN AUSTRIAN CHEMIST SOLVED THE MYSTERY OF WHERE BELLY-BUTTON LINT COMES FROM:

And now, it's the moment you've all been waiting for: A chemist from Austria named Georg Steinhauser has finally solved the mystery . . . of where BELLY-BUTTON LINT comes from.

No, I'm not kidding. For some reason, Georg felt inspired to spend THREE YEARS collecting and studying 503 pieces of his own belly-button lint. So what did he learn?

According to Georg, the hairs around the belly button have a series of scales that act as barbed hooks which snag dead skin, fat, sweat, dust and clothing fibers . . . and pull them into the belly button.

Therefore, according to Georg, "navel lint seems to be a phenomenon that primarily affects male adults" . . . and men with hair on their abdomen probably have, "cleaner and more hygienic belly buttons than those who do not."

(--I know . . . this is groundbreaking stuff. But I think the question that's on all of our minds is . . . "IT TOOK THIS DUDE THREE YEARS TO FIGURE THAT OUT???") (Chicago Tribune)

NEVER TOO OLD TO BREAK THE LAW

A 78-YEAR-OLD ROBBED A BANK IN KENTUCKY:

Well, here it is: PROOF that you're never too old . . . to be a meatball. Last Friday, 78-year-old William Rucker of Bardstown, Kentucky pulled up to the drive-thru window at a local bank and told the teller he had a BOMB which he would detonate . . . unless she handed over the money. So the teller did as she was instructed and William made off with an unspecified amount of money. But there's a catch . . . When William robbed the bank, he used a car that he was test-driving from a local car dealership.

Anyway, once the cops put all the pieces together . . . they arrested William and charged him with robbery and theft. If he's convicted, he could get up to 40 years in prison . . . which, in William's case, is just as good as a life sentence. (WAVE News 3 - Louisville / WLKY News 32 - Louisville)

ZZZZZ ZZZZZ HELP

***SIX TIPS TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP***

A good night's sleep makes you smarter, happier, healthier, and slows down the aging process. But when you're stressed out because of work or problems at home, it's common to have problems falling asleep.

So here are six tips to help you get to sleep faster . . .

#1.) GET SOME EXERCISE. Exercise reduces stress and increases the amount of deep sleep you get. If you're tired all day, but you STILL can't fall asleep at night, the first thing you should try is some exercise, about 4 hours before bedtime.

#2.) DON'T DRINK BEFORE BED. A nightcap might help you FALL asleep, but sleeping under the influence affects the QUALITY of your sleep in major ways. In fact, even SMALL amounts of alcohol can interfere with sleep cycles and prevent dreaming.

#3.) CUT BACK ON CAFFEINE. It makes you more alert and increases your heart rate . . . the opposite of what should happen at bedtime. And caffeine can stay in your system for up to 14 hours. Which means a coffee at noon can keep you up at midnight.

#4.) OPEN A WINDOW. You should keep your bedroom COOL, but not COLD. Somewhere between 55 and 75 degrees is best. A cool room makes it easier for your body temperature to drop, which has to happen before you can enter a deep sleep.

#5.) DON'T HAVE A MIDNIGHT SNACK. The calories increase your body temperature and make it harder to fall asleep. Plus, if you have any digestive problems like heartburn, eating a meal before bedtime is asking for trouble.

#6.) USE YOUR ALARM . . . EVEN ON SUNDAY. If you see a sleep specialist, he'll probably insist on it. The reason is, it helps keep you on a schedule. And the more predictable your sleep is, the better your body works. (Yahoo.com)

CELEB NEWS

MILEY IS BUSTED!

MILEY CYRUS and her boyfriend, JUSTIN GASTON, hit up a place called Millions of Milkshakes for some dessert Sunday night. And Miley unrepentantly parked in a handicapped spot. Check out the video proof here . .

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JEFF PROBST *CAUGHT* A CAMERAWOMAN AS SHE FAINTED:

On Sunday night, "Survivor" host JEFF PROBST helped save a camerawoman . . . by CATCHING her as she fell unconscious, right in front of him. It happened on Sunday night at some sort of ceremony for the Academy of Magical Arts Awards.

Jeff was giving an interview, when the woman who was filming the interview suddenly collapsed into his arms. When she came to, she stood up and said she was OK. But then, she fell again. Jeff caught her, and gently lowered her to the ground. He stayed by her side until the paramedics arrived.

Jeff downplayed his heroics . . . saying, quote, "I think anybody would react to that. That's just another person in trouble. Anybody would do that. It's amazing how quickly you can get into trouble."

(--The woman is fine . . . thanks to Jeff. A Magical Arts Awards rep said that her blood pressure was low . . . and that she was probably dehydrated. The rep added that the woman could have hit her head on something if Jeff hadn't caught her.)

IDOL WEIGHT LOSS

MANDISA HAS DROPPED 75 POUNDS:

Remember MANDISA from the fifth season of "American Idol"??? Well, she's decided to cave in to society's inexplicable love for thin woman. . . by dropping 75 POUNDS.

Mandisa decided to lose weight after a trip to Mount Rushmore last summer. She had become so short of breath that she had trouble making it to the viewpoint. The trip was apparently related to her album, "Freedom", which drops on March 24th. She explains, "I thought I couldn't get up and sing about freedom when I had been chained for so long."

BREAK UP HELP

THERE'S A NEW WEBSITE THAT WILL COMPOSE A BREAKUP EMAIL FOR YOU:

If you're an insensitive jerk who thinks it's OK to break up with someone over email, then you'll be happy to hear there's a new website . . . called BreakUpEmail.com . . . that can help you compose your breakup email.

Here's how it works . . . Basically, the website asks you to answer a few questions . . . such as your name, the other person's name and the reasons you're breaking up with them. Then, once you click submit, the website composes a personalized breakup email which incorporates all the information you provided.

All in all, the process takes less than five minutes. (--You know, unless you're really thoughtful about it. But you're breaking up with this person over email . . . so how thoughtful can you be?)

(--You can compose a breakup email here . . .)http://www.breakupemail.com/(Reddit)

SNUGGLE PUB CRAWLS?

WHAT'S THE LATEST RANDOM FAD? SNUGGIE PUB CRAWLS:

Have you seen those commercials advertising the Snuggie? (--If you have no idea what I'm talking about, the Snuggie is basically just a regular blanket . . . only it has sleeves built-in. Check out the Snuggie ad and see what I mean here . . .)

--Well, a few weeks ago a group of guys from Cincinnati decided it would be fun to all put on their Snuggies . . . and hit up some bars. For reasons which I can't explain, the idea of the SNUGGIE PUB CRAWL caught on . . . and now these things have started popping up all over the country.

(--You can check if there's an upcoming Snuggie pub crawl in your area here . . .) http://www.snuggiepubcrawls.com/(San Diego Union-Tribune)