NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEO'S OF THE DAY

DOWN THEY GO!

Just as this wedding is getting under way, the best man's pants fall down, then the priest cracks a joke about it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfJnzNrTUIs
(Search Terms: best man blooper pants fall down video)

MUFFIN TOP!

This parody of the KEVIN RUDOLF and LIL WAYNE song "Let It Rock" is about girls with huge bellies that spill out over the waistline of their jeans. The song is called "Muffin Top".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptdYnqV286o
(Search Terms: "Muffin Top" Jeff Walker and The Wackjobs)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

A CAMEL THAT PREDICTS THE OUTCOME OF FOOTBALL GAMES IS BOYCOTTING THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES BECAUSE OF MICHAEL VICK:

This is going to sound bizarre, but there's a CAMEL named Princess at the Popcorn Park Zoo in New Jersey that predicts the winners of football games.

So how does she do it? --Princess' trainer, John Bergmann, writes the name of one team on each hand, then picks up two graham crackers. Whichever hand Princess eats from is her "pick."

Anyway, Princess is going to continue picking football games this year. But zoo officials say she'll be boycotting all Philadelphia Eagles games in protest of MICHAEL VICK. Overall, Princess picked the correct winner in 17 out of 21 games last year, and she even picked the Pittsburgh Steelers to win the Super Bowl. (Yahoo News)

THAT SOUTH AFRICAN SPRINTER WHO WON GOLD AT THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS LAST MONTH IS A HERMAPHRODITE:

Last month, an 18-year-old South African named Caster Semenya won gold in the women's 800-meter dash at the World Championships in Germany. But Caster did so well in the race that some people started to question whether SHE was actually a HE.

So, to put all the speculation to rest, Caster underwent a gender verification test. Well, the results are in, and Caster is NOT a man. But she's NOT a woman, either. She's a HERMAPHRODITE.

Apparently, Caster has lady parts outside. But inside, she's got no womb or ovaries. Instead, she's got two INTERNAL GONADS. According to an official with Athletics South Africa, quote, "We are ignoring these claims. We cannot comment on them as we know nothing about them. --"The authorities have made a statement to say we will be informed about the results, and we await that development. We cannot get involved in gossip of this sort."

It's been rumored that the International Association of Athletics Federations will strip Caster of her medal, but officials with the IAAF have refused to comment on their plans. (Sun)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (9-11-09)

PAULA ABDUL THINKS ELLEN DEGENERES WILL BE A GREAT "AMERICAN IDOL" JUDGE:

PAULA ABDUL is cool . . . or at least she SAYS she's cool . . . with ELLEN DEGENERES permanently replacing her on "American Idol" next season.

On Twitter, she said, quote, "I think Ellen will be a great judge on 'Idol'."--And in a formal statement, she also praised the show. She said, quote, "'American Idol' is a fantastic show that offers an invaluable platform to young talent. Ellen DeGeneres is wildly funny and talented in her own right.

"I wish her and the show only the best of luck."

It's a pretty simple response . . . yet positive nonetheless. But that won't stop anonymous sources from saying Paula is in the brink of completely IMPLODING.

For example, a so-called "source" tells RadarOnline, quote, "Privately, Paula is very upset. She's never going to admit it publicly but this stung. Paula likes Ellen and she doesn't want to say a negative word about her and she won't." (--You gotta love "sources" who say things like "she's never going to admit this publicly." That really improves your chances of not being discredited, right???)

Earlier in the day, Ellen went on RYAN SEACREST'S radio show to talk about her new gig. At the time, Paula had yet to comment on the announcement, so Ellen expressed some concern over how she might be taking it. --She said, quote, "I hope Paula is OK with it. I don't want anybody to think that I took Paula's job away. They didn't even ask me to be a guest judge. It just went straight to 'Would you like to be [our fourth judge on "Idol" this season].' --"I was like, 'Are you kidding me? I love that show. I absolutely would give anything to be a part of that.'"

Ellen also said she was surprised when Paula announced that she was leaving "Idol" last month. She said, quote, "I was shocked, I think, like everybody else. Paula was a huge part of the show. --"I think that she's kind of part of the 'American Idol' family, that's how I felt. --"I don't really know what happened, and I was sad and thought there's a hole that needs to be filled by someone who's going to contribute in a totally different way . . . I didn't think for a second that would be me."

She also talked about what she plans to bring to the show . . . and what she'll get out of it. She said, quote, "It's going to be stimulating. I think it'll add a whole lot of content to my show and I think I'll bring something to that show."-She added, quote, "The one thing you know about me is I'm very honest. But I think you can be honest in a pretty kind way. I hope to be that compassionate person, 'cause that's the one thing Paula did bring is that compassion and that empathy."

If you hit up the various "Idol" blogs and fan sites, the main criticism on Ellen is that she has nothing to do with the music industry, so she's not QUALIFIED to judge singers

But Ellen said she's bringing a NEW perspective . . . quote, "Ultimately, it doesn't come down to some expert in the music industry, it comes down to the person at home that says, 'That's the person I relate to and whose records I'm going to buy.' --"I hope to be that voice. I'm just a fan like everybody else."(--You can find AUDIO of Ellen's full interview here . . .)http://ryan.kiisfm.com/main.html

By the way, RANDY JACKSON is excited about Ellen joining the show . . . and is echoing Ellen's statements about bringing a music outsider's opinion to the table. --Yesterday, he told "People", quote, "There's so much music industry insider talk . . . with me and SIMON [COWELL] and KARA [DIOGUARDI] . . . that I didn't think we needed any more of that. --"Ellen hit it right on the head. I think she could be the voice of the people. It's like somebody in the home audience watching and going, 'What would I say [about this contestant]?' Ellen's going to be saying it for [them]."

And in a separate interview, Kara said, quote, "[I'm] thrilled. I'm a huge Ellen DeGeneres fan. I think she's going to bring so much to the show. She's somebody who loves music. She's positive. She loves kids." (--Is Kara just rattling off things she learned from Ellen's MySpace page???) --She added, quote, "I want to get her email to say congratulations. I'm so excited to hang out with her . . . I would say this is great, and let her know I am completely ecstatic." (--I don't think Kara should sit next to Ellen.)

(--Simon has yet to comment . . . but you'd think the producers would probably ask for his input before pulling the trigger on Ellen, right???) --For what it's worth, "TV Guide" conducted an online poll, asking fans if they were happy with Fox's decision to bring Ellen aboard as the new judge.--As of last night, more than 4,700 people have voted . . . and the results are SPLIT. --44% think she'll make a good judge, 43% don't, and 13% still want Paula back. Technically, you could probably add the latter two, to say that 56% of the people in this poll aren't thrilled about the Ellen addition.

Meanwhile, several major record companies are SUING "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" for the unlicensed use of more than 1,000 songs. These are the songs that Ellen's DJ plays during the "dancing" segments of her show. --The labels say they asked why they weren't licensing the songs, and the show's reps told them that they didn't, quote, "roll that way." (???) Ellen's production company is currently working with the labels to resolve the situation."

MICHAEL JACKSON MADNESS

MARY J. BLIGE WILL *NOT* PERFORM AT THE MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE SHOW:

MARY J. BLIGE is officially OUT of the MICHAEL JACKSON tribute show in Vienna later this month, due to a prior commitment in Milan, Italy. But she says she would have loved to have been there.

She told MTV News, quote, "There's a lot going on at the time. I'm really, really sorry that I'm not gonna be able to be there. 'Cause why wouldn't I want to do a tribute to Michael Jackson?" --Meanwhile, yet another participant announced by JERMAINE JACKSON might be out. NATALIE COLE says she's in discussions to be there . . . but she's not 100%, because there may be a scheduling conflict.

And we STILL don't know what's going on with CHRIS BROWN. The last word from Jermaine is that Chris is trying to work it out. But that may not be the case. --Because of his recent guilty plea to assault charges, Chris would need the court's permission to leave the country for the gig.

But according to MTV News, Chris has not asked the court for permission . . . and a so-called "source" close to him claims that no such request will be made. --At least SISTER SLEDGE and ANGELA BASSETT haven't bailed yet.

STEVIE WONDER, R. KELLY and MAROON 5 are also being mentioned. But there's nothing official on them, either. --It sounds like the show's organizers have already admitted to themselves that they BLEW IT as far as big-name talent goes. Because they're trying to shift the focus of the show AWAY from the performers.

Producer Georg Kindel says, quote, "The star is Michael Jackson. It's not about name-dropping and who else will be there." One thing they DID get was a new pledge of support from Michael's mother, KATHERINE. She made a VIDEO Wednesday night, in which she said, quote, "I am looking forward to being there. I am sure it is going to be a great show." (--You can check out the video here . . . but notice she gives the wrong date. She says the show is going down on September 29th . . . but it's actually happening on the 26th . . .) http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=523b0a55-4e7f-4f13-a492-b3f746c9b06b

The show goes down outside a palace in Vienna, Austria on Saturday, September 26th. Tickets range from $92 to $755. A crowd of up to 65,000 is expected, and negotiations are underway to broadcast it worldwide.

THE COMMERCIALIZATION OF NEVERLAND HAS BEGUN: The first step toward the commercialization of MICHAEL JACKSON'S Neverland Ranch has been taken.

The Sycamore Valley Ranch Company . . . which owns the property . . . has filed for trademarks on four names: Neverland Ranch, Neverland Valley, Neverland Valley Ranch and just plain Neverland.

They're seeking trademarks to use these names for a Michael Jackson museum and theme park on the property . . . as well as on clothing, games, toys, souvenir items and printed materials like postcards and books. --The Jackson family has NOT signed off on this yet, and apparently, they have to. Michael's dad, JOE JACKSON, says, quote, "They cannot do this without our permission."

Not surprisingly, though, there's talk that JERMAINE JACKSON is heavily involved in planning all of this. (--Neverland neighbors are vehemently opposed to turning the ranch into a tourist attraction. They even have their own website. Check it out . . .) http://nevereverland.org/

THE BRIGHTEST TEEN STARS

MILEY CYRUS IS "ACCESS HOLLYWOOD'S" BRIGHTEST TEEN STAR:
"Access Hollywood" has ranked the 10 Brightest Teen Stars . . . and not surprisingly, MILEY CYRUS tops the list. Here's the rundown . . .

#1.) MILEY CYRUS, 16 (--She'll be 17 in November.)
#2.) TAYLOR SWIFT, 19 (--She turns 20 in December.)
#3.) TAYLOR LAUTNER, 17 (--He plays the werewolf, Jacob Black, in the "Twilight" movies. He has a much bigger role in the upcoming sequel, "New Moon" . .)
#4.) EMMA WATSON, 19
#5.) KRISTEN STEWART, 19
#6.) SELENA GOMEZ, 17
#7.) DAKOTA FANNING, 15
#8.) THE JONAS BROTHERS . . . Technically only one of them is still a teenager. Nick will be 17 next Wednesday. Joe just turned 20. Kevin will be 22 in November.
#9.) DEMI LOVATO, She just turned 17 last month.
#10.) TAYLOR MOMSEN, She turned 16 in July. (--She plays Jenny Humphrey on "Gossip Girl".)

(--Check out a photo gallery, plus a rundown on why each teen made the list . . . here . . .)http://www.accesshollywood.com/top-ten-brightest-teen-stars_gallery_2147?__source=omg


THE "MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS" WILL FEATURE A TRAILER FOR THE MICHAEL JACKSON DOCUMENTARY, "THIS IS IT":

The trailer for the MICHAEL JACKSON documentary, "This Is It", will premiere on the "MTV Video Music Awards" this Sunday night. --"This Is It!" follows the last three months of Michael's life, when he was rehearsing for his 50-date London concert series. It'll hit theaters on October 28th . . . and for now, it's only scheduled to have a limited, two-week run.

This is fitting . . . because the "VMAs" are doing all kinds of things to celebrate Michael this year. Perhaps most notably, JANET JACKSON will be performing some kind of "musical tribute" to him.

MTV has also released a new promo for the show, in which Michael's sequined white gloves begin raining from the sky . . . like that frog scene in "Magnolia". (--It's kind of cool. You can check it out at this link . . .) http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/435229/mj-vma-tribute-promo.jhtml --

By the way, MTV has also added JAY-Z to the list of "VMA" performers. He and ALICIA KEYS will do "Empire State of Mind" off his new disc, "Blueprint 3".

READ THIS BEFORE YOU RE-LOCATE FOR LOVE

FIVE QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE RELOCATING FOR LOVE:

Is your boyfriend or girlfriend thinking about relocating to find work? A lot of people are doing it right now, but before you move across the country for someone else, make sure you ask these five questions . . .

#1.) HOW LONG WILL IT LAST? Knowing what you're up against is the first step. Three months in a new city isn't that big a deal. It can even be romantic. But if you're relocating INDEFINITELY, make sure your relationship is serious.

#2.) WHAT WILL YOU DO THERE? Make sure YOU have a new job lined up too. If the other person says they'll support you, great. But it's a big risk. If you break up, you'll be alone in a strange place . . . and jobless.

#3.) DO YOU KNOW ANYONE THERE? Moving to a new city is a lot easier if you know even just one or two people there. Having a support system is important. Remember, making friends as an ADULT is a lot harder than when you were in college.

#4.) DO YOU HAVE AN EXIT STRATEGY? What if the new job stinks? What if nine months go by and you still don't have any friends? What if your relationship doesn't work out? Think about some worst-case scenarios and how you'll deal with them.

#5.) IS IT WORTH IT? Instead of uprooting your entire life, why not try a long-distance relationship for a while? If your relationship is important enough for you to THINK about moving, then it should be able to survive a few months apart. (YourTango.com)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

A GIRL WITH NO ARMS OR LEGS JUST MOVED AWAY FROM HOME TO START SCHOOL AT TULANE UNIVERSITY:

You can make all the excuses you like about why you never got to go to college, but you really have no one to blame but yourself. If you don't believe me, just look at 18-year-old Kari Elizabeth Heideman of Franklington, Louisiana. Kari Elizabeth was born with NO ARMS and undeveloped legs, and two years ago, her father passed away.

But Kari Elizabeth worked hard and stayed focused. In high school, she got a 4.5 GPA in her advanced placement classes. She can type with her toes faster than most people can with their hands. And she even taught herself to paint, draw and use a camera with her feet.

Long story short, earlier this month, Kari Elizabeth and her service dog, Jade, moved away from home so she could start attending classes at Tulane University. --Kari Elizabeth says, quote, "I was really dedicated to getting good grades because I kind of felt that that was the only thing I could offer to college, because I'm not an athlete or anything. But it paid off. I got into my dream school and I am just so excited." (WWL-TV News 4 - New Orleans)

THE FOURTH ANNUAL "REDHEAD DAY" TOOK PLACE LAST WEEKEND IN THE NETHERLANDS:

Last weekend, thousands of GINGERS flocked to Breda, in the Netherlands, for the fourth annual Redhead Day celebration to take part in photo shoots, workshops and attend lectures about all things REDHEAD. (Jezebel)

(--This is really just an excuse to show you more redheads than you've ever seen gathered together in one place at the same time. Enjoy some photos taken at Redhead Day here . . .)http://www.flickr.com/photos/annemiekvanderkuil/sets/72157607186584137/


A 90-YEAR-OLD GUY WAS GRANTED HIS DYING WISH . . . TO BE BURIED IN HIS '73 PONTIAC CATALINA NEXT TO ALL HIS GUNS:

I'd never say that one person's dying wish is better than another person's dying wish. So let's just say that THIS is a dying wish that I can really get on board with . . . -Earlier this month, 90-year-old Lonnie Holloway died of prostate cancer at his home in Saluda, South Carolina (--about 45 miles west of Columbia). --Anyway, Lonnie's funeral was held on Tuesday. And, in order to make right on his final wish, Lonnie was buried INSIDE his 1973 Pontiac Catalina, while buckled into the driver's seat with his hand placed on the steering wheel. --And on the passenger's seat next to Lonnie were his rifle and six handguns. (!!!)

(--Check out a video of Lonnie's funeral here . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D6AXWVOWW4(Augusta Chronicle)

THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS . . . SLEEPING IN SEPARATE BEDS???

If you're worried that your marriage is in trouble, it turns out there's a simple thing you can do to improve your relationship: Start sleeping in separate beds. --At least that's according to a sleep consultant at Surrey University in the UK named Dr. Neil Stanley.

He says, quote, "Poor sleep is bad for your physical, mental and emotional health. There is no good thing about poor sleep. If you sleep perfectly well together, then don't change. But don't be afraid to relocate.

"Sleep is the most selfish thing we can do. People say they like the feeling of having their partner next to them when they are asleep. But you have to be awake to feel that . . . At some point you have to say, 'I'm going to go to sleep now.'

"Intimacy is important for emotional health. But good sleep is important for physical, emotional and mental health. Getting a good night's sleep is something we should all aspire to." --

INTERESTING FACTOID: In the Victorian Era, it was common for couples to have separate beds, and even separate bedrooms. --But in the late 1700s, at the start of the Industrial Revolution, people flocked to the cities and suddenly found themselves living in small apartments. So, to save space, couples started sharing a bed. (Daily Mail)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (9-10-09)

"AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY

ELLEN DEGENERES WILL BE PAULA ABDUL'S SUCCESSOR ON "AMERICAN IDOL":

ELLEN DEGENERES has announced that she will be replacing PAULA ABDUL as the fourth judge on "American Idol" this season. And just to be clear, this isn't a one-time appearance . . . Ellen will be Paula's SUCCESSOR.

Ellen dropped the bomb herself yesterday, during a taping of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" . . . amazingly, before the Internet even had a chance to SPECULATE about it.

She said, quote, "I have a big announcement to make . . . and no one knows this . . . I just finally got the OK, just moments ago, to announce this to you today: I am going to be the new judge on 'American Idol'."

She then joked, quote, "I'm not leaving here, don't worry about that, I'm going to have a day job and a night job. That's the times were living in. We're all doing that." --As far as we know, Ellen has never been a singer or worked in the music industry . . . but she's bringing a CONSUMER'S voice to the judges' table.

She says, quote, "Hopefully I'm the people's point of view, because I'm just like you. I sit at home and I watch it. --"I'm not looking at it in a critical way, from the music producer's mind. I'm looking at it as a person who's going to buy the music, and who's going to relate to that person. So I'm hopefully going to be the voice of what we're all doing at home."

(--You can watch Ellen's full announcement, here . . .)http://ellen.warnerbros.com/videos/?autoplay=true&mediaKey=9c645e4d-d1ba-43cf-b604-9e75af7e045f

Ellen will join the other judges . . . SIMON COWELL, KARA DIOGUARDI and RANDY JACKSON . . . immediately AFTER the auditions. As you probably know, "Idol" had various celebrities serving as "guest judges" for that round.

"Idol" executive producer Cecile Frot-Coutaz says, quote, "We're all delighted to have Ellen . . . beyond her incredible sense of humor and love of music, she brings with her an immense warmth and compassion that is almost palpable."

There's no word yet on how much they're PAYING Ellen to provide all that "warmth and compassion" . . . which was essentially Paula's role. --By the way, IF Paula WAS still playing hardball with the producers . . . banking on the fact that they'd eventually cave and pay her to return to "Idol" . . . I guess you can now consider that bluff CALLED.

Paula hasn't released a statement. She hasn't even said anything about it on Twitter, which was her go-to forum when she announced she was leaving "Idol". --However, Paula DID Tweet about her "VH1 Divas" hosting gig . . . linking to a new commercial for the concert. (--It's actually pretty funny. Here it is . . .) http://blog.vh1.com/2009-09-09/paula-abdul-got-her-vh1-divas-hosting-gig-at-an-employment-agency/

(--Paula has said her decision to leave "Idol" had nothing to do with "money" . . . it had to do with "principle." Of course, she could have meant that it was over the PRINCIPLE that everyone else was getting more MONEY than her.)

ARE MILEY CYRUS AND LIZA MINNELLI JOINING THE CAST OF THE "SEX AND THE CITY" SEQUEL???

"Life & Style" magazine claims that LIZA MINNELLI and MILEY CYRUS have joined the cast of the "Sex and the City" sequel. Liza will play HERSELF, performing at a gay wedding. And the producers are still trying to figure out where to put Miley.

(--A while back, Miley admitted that she watched the sanitized "Sex and the City" reruns on TBS. Still, I have a feeling this won't actually happen.)

LISTEN UP LADIES

FOUR THINGS WOMEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FOOTBALL:

College football started last weekend, and the NFL season starts tonight, when the Tennessee Titans take on the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Ladies, if you're tired of your guy rolling his eyes every time you ask a football question, "Marie Claire" has put together a list of things you should know before football season starts . . .

#1.) SCORING. A touchdown is worth SIX points, not seven. But after a team scores a touchdown, they can kick for one extra point. They COULD also run a play to get two more points, it's called a two-point-conversion. But they pretty much always kick.

A field goal is when they kick it through the uprights. It's worth three points. A safety is worth two points. That's when a player with the ball gets tackled in his own end zone.

#2.) THE THIN YELLOW LINE. It indicates how far the team has to go to get a first down. And it only works through the magic of television . . . the players can't see it.

#3.) WHAT "FIRST AND TEN" MEANS. It means it's "first down," and the team with the ball has to go ten yards to get another first down. So, if it's "second and six," that means it's second down and the team has six yards to go for a first down.

"Fourth and inches" means they literally only have to move the ball a few inches to get a first down. But sometimes the team with the ball will punt on the fourth down because if they DON'T get a first down, the other team gets the ball right then and there.

#4.) PENALTIES. When a referee throws a yellow flag, it means one of the players committed a penalty. There are a bunch of different penalties in football, but here are the four most common ones:

Offsides. It means one of the players on defense was on the wrong side of the ball when the play started. It's usually happens when a player is trying to get a good "jump" . . . just like in track when a sprinter starts running before the gun goes off.--False Start. It means one of the players on OFFENSE moved too soon. The big offensive linemen aren't allowed to move once they lean down and get into position, because it can trick a defensive player into jumping offsides.

Holding. Players are allowed to block each other, but if a player gets past a blocker, and that blocker hangs onto him, it's holding.--Pass Interference. If the quarterback throws a pass, the defense is allowed to knock the BALL down, but they can't knock the RECEIVER down. SOME physical contact is tolerated, but for the most part, it's not.

--In the NFL, the ball is placed where the pass interference penalty happened, which can be 30 or 40 yards up the field. And it's an automatic first down.

--In COLLEGE football, it's pretty much the same thing, but there's a 15-yard limit. So, even if it was a 30-yard pass, the offense gets the ball 15 yards up the field. (Marie Claire)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

A GUY IS TRYING TO GET OUT OF PAYING 37 SPEEDING TICKETS TAKEN BY TRAFFIC CAMERAS . . . BY WEARING A MONKEY MASK WHEN HE DRIVES:

Last year, officials in Arizona installed dozens of photo-enforcement traffic cameras around the state as part of a project aimed at getting speeders to slow down.

In that time, a guy from Phoenix named Dave Vontesmar has accumulated 37 speeding tickets to the tune of more than $6,500 in fines. But Dave says he doesn't have to pay. Why?

Because in order to make him pay, state officials have to prove that Dave was the person driving his car when the photo-ticket was issued. The problem is that in all 37 of the photos, Dave . . . or someone else . . . is wearing a MONKEY MASK, which makes it impossible to ID the driver. (!!!)

Dave says, quote, "They're required by law to ID the driver of the vehicle. If they can't identify the driver by the picture, what are they doing to identify the driver? --"Not one of them there is a picture where you can identify the driver of the car . . . I sent back all the [tickets] I got with a copy of my driver's license and said, 'It's not me. I'm not paying.'"

It's unclear whether Dave will be forced to pay the speeding fines. Overall, the photo-enforcement program has helped the state earn about $20 MILLION. (Arizona Republic)

A BURGLAR WAS ARRESTED WHEN HE RETURNED TO THE HOUSE HE JUST ROBBED . . . TO ASK THE OWNER OUT ON A DATE:

Now it's time to Salute our Meatball Criminal of the Day . . . 20-year-old Stephfon Bennett of Columbus, Ohio. On Sunday, Stephfon and two other men broke into a house and robbed it.

But less than TWO HOURS after the robbery, Stephfon returned to the house to ask the owner out on a date.

According to a police spokesman, quote, "We're not exactly sure what he was thinking at the time. [The homeowner] recognized him right away when he returned, and was able to have her cousin call 911."

Stephfon was arrested and charged with aggravated robbery. If he's convicted, he could get up to TEN YEARS in prison. --Stephfon's two accomplices haven't been caught yet. (WBNS News 10 - Central Ohio)

HERE ARE FIVE TIPS YOU CAN USE TO GET YOUR GUY TO ACTUALLY LISTEN WHEN YOU TALK:

Ladies . . . do you ever get the feeling that your guy tunes you out when you're trying to talk to him? Of course you do, because that's just what guys do. --With that in mind, here are five tips you can use to grab your man's attention so he'll pay attention when you talk:

#1.) Avoid eye contact: It sounds counterintuitive, but if you're trying to work out a problem, eye contact can actually make things worse. How?--Looking a guy directly in the eye can make him feel threatened, which will instinctively trigger a fight-or-flight reaction. If that happens, your conversation is over.

#2.) Get to the point: A recent study found that the male brain interprets the sound of male voices as SPEECH, and the sound of female voices as MUSIC. So what am I getting at? If you really want your guy to pay attention, you need to cut to the chase.

#3.) Stroke his ego: Like women, men are most susceptible to manipulation when it comes with a healthy dose of flattery. So it stands to reason that if you really want your man to listen, you should try buttering him up with a few kind words.

#4.) Let him know you need to vent: When a man is faced with a problem, he immediately starts searching for a SOLUTION. But sometimes you just want to vent, and all you really want is for your guy to listen. By telling your guy ahead of time that all you want from him is to lend an ear, he'll be better able to ignore his problem-solving instincts.

#5.) Talk to him between 4:00 P.M. and 6:00 P.M.: Why? Because the average guy experiences a testosterone dip between those hours, and a man listens best when his testosterone levels are at their lowest. (Women's Health)

80% OF OUR CONVERSATIONS ARE DEVOTED TO GOSSIP:

Admit it . . . you're constantly gossiping about other people. It's okay, most of us are right there with you. --At least that's according to a new study from the University of Surrey in the UK, which found that 80% of all conversations are devoted to gossiping about others.

But even though most of our conversations involve gossip, the study found that only about 5% of it is actually malicious. (--Which begs the question: If it's not malicious, what's the point? But I digress . . .)

And, contrary to popular belief, men are about TWICE as likely to gossip about another person's appearance as women. (Daily Telegraph / Daily Mail)


HERE ARE FIVE SURPRISING REASONS YOU'RE EXHAUSTED:

If you don't get about seven hours of sleep each night, you'll probably be yawning all day. But that's not the ONLY thing that can make you tired. If you're getting enough sleep and you STILL feel exhausted every day, here are five possible reasons . . .

#1.) YOUR DIET. Losing weight is a good thing, but not if you're on some crazy diet that only lets you eat soup. More calories equals more energy. It's that simple.

#2.) TOO MUCH CAFFEINE. Coffee DOES wake you up. But some experts say TOO MUCH coffee can backfire. It's best to have small doses of caffeine. So instead of ordering one huge coffee in the morning, drink three smaller cups throughout the day.

#3.) FOOD ALLERGIES. They usually start when you're a kid, but they can develop at any age. That means, even if you ate shellfish when you were young, you might be allergic to it by the time you're 30. And food allergies can cause fatigue.

#4.) A URINARY TRACT INFECTION. Women get them all the time, and they're pretty easy to get rid of. Fatigue is one of the symptoms, and if you have pain and burning when you pee, see your doctor.

#5.) UNDETECTED THYROID PROBLEMS. Fatigue can be a symptom of hypo-thyroidism. It's very common . . . especially in women . . . and it's easily treatable. Usually, you just have to take a pill each day. (Yahoo.com)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (9-09-09)

BOB BARKER - COME ON DOWN!

BOB BARKER is NOT dead. One of those pointless celebrity death hoaxes was making the rounds online this week. Usually, you can just ignore stuff like that . . . but since this is The Summer of Death, you need to look into EVERYTHING.

Actually, Bob just guest-hosted this week's edition of the WWE's "Monday Night RAW" . . . and he was pretty hilarious.

(--If you missed it, here's a clip . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kEQQshxZOk

HAIR TODAY

Yesterday was the BIG DAY for TYRA BANKS to reveal her REAL hair on the season premiere of her show. And if you were praying that it would live up to all the hype . . . . . . you came away very disappointed.

There was nothing crazy or embarrassing about Tyra's real hair . . . in fact, you couldn't even really SEE IT at first because it was dripping wet and slicked back behind her head.

(--Here's some video of this life-changing moment . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pisyysp24rw

THE NEXT GREAT SUPERGROUP FEATURES ROCKSTAR SUPERNOVA *SENSATION* LUKAS ROSSI:

ROCKSTAR SUPERNOVA singer LUKAS ROSSI has a NEW band . . . and it already has one thing going for it: It isn't named Rockstar Supernova. --This one is called DAYLIGHT DIVISION. It's actually a "supergroup", I guess, which features P.O.D. guitarist MARCOS CURIEL . . . former CHEVELLE bassist JOE LOEFFLER . . . and former PAPA ROACH drummer DAVE BUCKNER.

The band formed earlier this year. Lukas was the last addition . . . and this time around, he didn't have to win an 11-week-long reality show to land the gig. (--Lukas won the second season of "Rock Star" back in 2006. He, Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, former Metallica bassist Jason Newsted, and former Guns N' Roses guitarist Gilby Clarke released an album together as Rockstar Supernova.)

The disc TANKED . . . at least partially because it was ALSO called "Rockstar Supernova" . . . and the band has basically been defunct ever since. Daylight Division is currently writing and recording its first album . . . and they've already posted two songs on MySpace. You can check them out at this link . . . http://www.myspace.com/daylightdivision


NAMES HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCED FOR THE MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE SHOW IN VIENNA . . . BUT NOBODY KNOWS IF THESE PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY BOOKED:

Some names were announced yesterday for that MICHAEL JACKSON tribute concert that JERMAINE JACKSON is throwing in Vienna later this month. --Those names are: Chris Brown, Mary J. Blige, Akon, Natalie Cole and Sister Sledge.

The problem is, nobody knows if these people are actually going to be there or not. Even though the show's organizers floated these names, none of them are actually confirmed. --And shortly after the announcement was made, Chris Brown's rep said, quote, "Chris is not confirmed to perform or participate in any capacity for this show."

One performer who IS confirmed is Jermaine himself. He'll be doing a VIRTUAL DUET with Michael. (--We don't know if Michael will appear on a screen, or if they'll go all-out and bring in the HOLOGRAM technology.)

However they choose to bring this performance off, organizers promise that it will be, quote, "a magic moment for all who loved his music.") --Organizers also announced yesterday that Michael's kids and their grandmother, KATHERINE JACKSON, would be there. But that's debatable.

Ever since this show was announced, there's been talk that Jermaine Jackson put this whole thing together to increase HIS OWN profile, and that no one else in the family supports it. And that talk continues to increase.

A so-called "source" says that the other Jackson siblings are refusing to attend, and they've been referring to the event as "The Jermaine Jackson Show". --You may recall that Katherine actually released a statement supporting the gig not too long ago. Well, this "source" says Jermaine BADGERED her until she did so . . . because he was getting so much negative press over it.

Even if Katherine doesn't attend, she'll still be represented . . . in the form of ANGELA BASSETT. Angela played Katherine in a TV movie called "The Jacksons: An American Dream". --And she's going to be on hand to, quote, "impersonate one part of Michael Jackson's life." Whether anyone but Jermaine wants it to or not, the show takes place on Saturday, September 26th outside a 17-century palace in Vienna, Austria.

JANET JACKSON will perform a tribute to MICHAEL at the MTV Video Music Awards . . . which air live this Sunday night at 9:00 P.M. Eastern. --It better be good . . . a source says she's been rehearsing up to 15 hours a day on this thing, and when it's over, quote, "there won't be a dry eye in the house."

WILL RAMBO FIGHT SOME KIND OF MONSTER IN HIS NEXT MOVIE???
As you've probably already heard, nobody could convince SYLVESTER STALLONE not to do "Rambo 5". It's happening. --But it looks like this won't be another cookie-cutter, Third World shoot-em-up. There's a fax going around the World Wide Web of Movie Gossip that supposedly contains the legit plot synopsis for "Rambo 5" . . . which is subtitled "The Savage Hunt".

And if it's real, they're taking the franchise into a completely new direction. --According to the synopsis, Rambo will be leading a team of Special Ops in a hunt for some kind of creature, which is described as, quote, "a half-human abomination created by a renegade agency through a series of outlawed genetic experiments.

"It has man's cunning, a predator's savageness and a prehistoric power that has transcended the ages."(--I'm surprised they had the guts to use the word "predator" . . . since this thing sounds a lot like a certain Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. But hey, even if it's not original, at least it's something different from the usual "Rambo" plot.)

BAD BREAKFAST

FOUR WAYS TO AVOID A BAD BREAKFAST:

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But if you don't do it right, it can be the most UNHEALTHY meal of the day. Oatmeal and fruit would be a GREAT breakfast, but if that's too drastic for you, here are four easy ways to avoid a BAD breakfast . . .

#1.) BEWARE OF LIQUID CALORIES. Some people avoid greasy breakfast foods but forget that fancy coffee drinks are LOADED with calories. A medium vanilla latte at Starbucks tacks on about 250 calories. Add sugar or whole milk, and it's even more.

#2.) DON'T EAT BREADS THAT HAVE CHEESE BAKED INTO THEM. A regular bagel has about 150 calories. An ASIAGO CHEESE bagel has 340 calories. And you can barely taste the cheese anyway.

--If you're going to have cheese, put it ON the sandwich, not IN the sandwich. Whenever cheese is baked into something, it loses some of its taste.

#3.) HOLD THE SAUSAGE. Not literally. Just avoid ordering it. Because unless it's TURKEY sausage, it's guaranteed to be the fattiest thing you eat all day. An Egg McMuffin from McDonalds has 300 calories and 12 grams of fat.

--If you add sausage, it skyrockets to 450 calories and 27 grams of fat.

#4.) SKIP THE BUTTER. It's okay to put a little bit on your toast, but when it comes to things like breakfast sandwiches, skip it. One tablespoon . . . which is about what you use on one piece of toast . . . adds 100 calories and 12 grams of fat. (Glamour.com)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

A DRUNK DRIVER CRASHED THROUGH THE *SECOND* STORY OF A HOUSE ON LONG ISLAND:

Yesterday was Labor Day, and I'm sure you enjoyed your long weekend. But if you had a few drinks, I hope you didn't act like a bonehead and drive drunk like THIS knucklehead. . . Over the weekend, 20-year-old Adam Clark decided to get hammered and take his car out for a drive in East Moriches, New York.

But as he was driving, Adam lost control of the SUV, ran a stop sign and hit a mound of dirt, which LAUNCHED his car into the SECOND STORY of a house. That's right. The second story.

Adam was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated, reckless endangerment and criminal mischief.

Fortunately, no one was seriously injured.

(--Check out some photos of the damage here . . .)

(--And you can watch a news story about the accident here . . .)http://wcbstv.com/topstories/airborne.car.house.2.1166367.html(WCBS News 2 - New York)

A HIKER FELL AND LANDED ON A ROCK JUST MOMENTS AFTER ACCEPTING A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL:

And now it's time for our Bad Omen of the Day . . . --On Sunday, an unidentified couple was hiking along the Potomac River in Cabin John, Maryland. Anyway, at some point, the man pulled out an engagement ring and surprised his girlfriend. And she said YES.

But just moments after accepting the proposal, the woman slipped and landed on a large, jagged rock, injuring herself. --Rescue workers airlifted the woman to the hospital where she was treated and released. --There's no word on whether the couple has set a wedding date. (--You can link to a news video about this story here . . .)http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0909/656914.html (WJLA News 7 - Washington, D.C.)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (9-08-09)

SHE OUGHTA KNOW BETTER

The typical BRITNEY SPEARS concert features Britney lip-synching her own songs. But now she's trying something new: Not lip-synching OTHER people's songs.

On Saturday night, Britney performed a cover of the ALANIS MORISSETTE hit, "You Oughta Know", at a show in Greensboro, North Carolina. And she was actually singing it LIVE.

(--The audio is bad, but you can sort of hear it in this video . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtmYrh3KX_A

NFL STAR SHAWNE MERRIMAN WAS ARRESTED FOR ALLEGEDLY ASSAULTING TILA TEQUILA . . . BUT HE DENIES IT:

San Diego Chargers linebacker SHAWNE MERRIMAN was arrested early Sunday morning for allegedly assaulting TILA NGUYEN . . . a.k.a. TILA TEQUILA. If you somehow don't know, shestarred in that bisexual MTV reality dating show, "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila". Everyone is saying Shawne and Tila are (or were) DATING . . . although this is the first time we've heard that.

Here's what we know: At around 3:45 A.M. on Sunday morning, Tila called the police and told them that Shawne had, quote, "choked and physically restrained" her when she tried to leave his home. (--In the San Diego area.)

A spokesman for the San Diego County Sheriff's Department says Tila made a "citizen's arrest" . . . (???) . . . and based on that, they took Shawne to jail on suspicion of battery and false imprisonment. He was later released on $58,000 bail. --Tila went to the hospital, and has since been released. There's no word on her condition . . . or what injuries, if any, she suffered in the altercation.

Shawne says Tila's allegations are BOGUS, and that he was trying to HELP her. --His attorney released a statement saying: Quote, "During the evening, Ms. Tequila was extremely intoxicated, inebriated and Mr. Merriman did everything he could to assist her in arranging for transportation to leave his home. -"At no time did Mr. Merriman assault her . . . at no time did Mr. Merriman keep her against her will. His intentions were nothing but good."

And yesterday, Shawne elaborated on that in his own statement. He said, quote, "At the time, I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in . . . and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided. --"We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety. I in no way caused any harm to [her], however, paramedics were called and she was examined but no injuries were reported. -"There have been no charges filed against me." -"I will continue to cooperate fully with the [authorities], and I look forward to clearing my name regarding these false allegations. I want to put this behind me so I can continue to focus on a successful season for the San Diego Chargers."

Chargers General Manager A.J. SMITH released a statement, saying: Quote, "It's disappointing to hear about the issue involving Shawne Merriman. We'll continue to monitor the situation and let the legal process run its course." --Tila has yet to make a formal statement, but she took to Twitter to deny that she was hammered. She wrote, quote, "I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila "Tequila" cuz the irony. I can't drink."

For the record, a police spokesman reportedly said that deputies DID confirm that Tila had been drinking . . . but there aren't any further details on that. (--Not to make any presumptions here, but remember: Tila signed a citizen's arrest warrant. So if she's stretching the truth at all, she could be in some trouble. Perhaps she's paving the way for an "allergic reaction" defense . . . ???)

The authorities are still investigating this mess. At some point, the evidence will be handed over to the District Attorney, who will decided whether to press charges.

KEVIN JONAS IS ASKING *BOTH* OF HIS BROTHERS TO BE THE "BEST MAN" AT HIS WEDDING:

Ever since KEVIN JONAS announced he was marrying his longtime girlfriend, Danielle Deleasa, people have been asking the all-important question: Which Jonas Brother will be the Best Man? NICK or JOE?

Now we finally know the answer: They BOTH will. --In an interview with a Canadian radio station, Kevin said, quote, "They both are [my best man]. It works out really well because there are two maids of honor and two best men."

In an earlier interview, Joe Jonas made it seem like it was going to be him . . . and that each brother would then ask the next youngest brother to be their Best Man. --He said, quote, "I want it. I'll be the best Best Man ever. Eventually if I get married, [the best man is] gonna be Nick, and when it's Nick, [the best man is] gonna be Frankie." (--Frankie is the littlest Jonas brother, a.k.a., the "Bonus Jonas." He's the voice of the little boy in that new movie "Ponyo". Your kids have probably also seen him on the Jonas Brothers TV show, "JONAS".)


THE JACKSONS SAY THE MEDIA DISRUPTED MICHAEL'S BURIAL SERVICE:

MICHAEL JACKSON was finally laid to rest last Thursday . . . in the Grand Mausoleum at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California, with a service attended by 200 family members and close friends . . . but the controversy continues. --Michael's youngest brother, RANDY JACKSON, released a statement the next day, about how the family was disappointed by the intrusive media presence.

It read, quote, "I was dismayed last night and again today at the coverage I saw on television of our ceremony for Michael. We had asked the media to respect the privacy and the sanctity of this event; to give us one moment of privacy to mourn as a family out of the public spotlight. --"Unfortunately, despite a no-fly zone around Forest Lawn, many media organizations decided to ignore our wishes. They employed helicopters that not only surreptitiously recorded our private family ceremony, but also severely disrupted it.

"I therefore ask today that media organizations airing helicopter footage of the ceremony we held for my brother immediately pull that footage from their air and refrain from airing it in the future."

Of course, in addition to the approved footage of the drive to the cemetery, the Jacksons themselves had both the service AND the reception afterwards filmed . . . for an upcoming A&E special, and a later DVD release. (???)

AL SHARPTON TWITTERED THROUGHOUT MICHAEL JACKSON'S BURIAL SERVICE:

Probably my favorite part about the media coverage of MICHAEL JACKSON'S burial service . . . was that AL SHARPTON twittered during the entire thing. --The Jackson family is complaining that the media violated the privacy of the event . . . even though they were filming the whole thing themselves. But Reverend Al takes the cake in terms of tastelessness. --He tweeted, quote, "I am sitting at the burial services of michael jackson. I am talking to actress lisaraye mc coy . . . and tom mesereau . . . Tom represented MJ in the molestation case. (???)

"We are all discussing his battles. What MJ went through was so unfair, yet he succeeded. In the end, he was the biggest artist ever. He faced the headwinds but he made it." --Then, quote, "I just spoke at the conclusion of tributes. Gladys Knight sang her heart out. Now we prepare to lay him to rest." --And finally, quote, "MICHAEL JACKSON HAS BEEN LAID TO REST." (--All caps! How appropriate!)


THE JERRY LEWIS TELETHON PRODUCED OVER $60 MILLION . . . AND SOME AWKWARD MOMENTS:

You'll be happy to know that even in this bad economy, the 44th annual JERRY LEWIS Labor Day telethon for the Muscular Dystrophy Association raised about $61 million yesterday. --You'll also be happy to know that it produced some truly awful moments of entertainment. Highlights included CHARO butchering "Please Don't Stop The Music" by RIHANNA, and then giving Jerry a lapdance . . .http://perezhilton.com/2009-09-07-charo-does-rihanna

And Jerry dissing the casino that sponsored the event . . . because their, quote "goddamn advertisement" was in the way of the donation board, and he couldn't see it. http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=7b2f2b98-5a56-449e-95f5-9d83d3bc1267

LIFESTYLE NONSENSE

FIVE SIGNS YOU'LL LIVE TO BE 100:

Not everyone lives to be 100 years old, but more people are making it to the century mark today than ever before. Think you've got a shot? Here are five signs you might live to be 100 . . .

#1.) YOU DON'T SNORE. Snoring's a sign of sleep apnea, which means you stop breathing because your throat tissue collapses and blocks your airway. Sleep apnea can cause high blood pressure, memory problems, weight gain, and depression. -And an 18-year study found that people who DON'T have sleep apnea live longer.

#2.) YOU'RE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. According to a Swedish study of 500 men and women, outgoing people are 50 percent LESS likely to develop dementia. And outgoing people also tended to describe themselves as "not easily stressed."

#3.) YOU RUN FOR 40 MINUTES A DAY. Researchers at Stanford University tracked runners and non-runners for 21 years and found that middle-aged people who run for a total of five hours a week live longer and function better physically as they age.

#4.) YOU FEEL YOUNG. People who live to be 100 years old tend to FEEL younger than they ARE. According to experts, feeling YOUTHFUL makes you more optimistic, more motivated, and more able to overcome challenges. --All those things reduce stress, boost your immune system, and lower your risk of disease.

#5.) YOU USE TECHNOLOGY. According to an annual poll of people over the age of 100, many of the oldest people in America send e-mail, Google old friends, and even DATE online. And research shows that using technology keeps you mentally sharp and socially engaged. (AOL.com)