HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (10-07-11)

You Can Tell Justin Bieber is Trying to Control Selena Gomez . . . Because He Walks in Front of Her:

The website HollywoodLife.com says that whenever you see JUSTIN BIEBER and SELENA GOMEZ walking together, he's always a step ahead of her. So they asked a body language expert what that means. --And she said, quote, "Walking ahead of her says 'power' and that he has to be in charge." --But Selena has her own hang-ups because she accepts it. The expert says, quote, "Selena is happily taking a subservient role in the relationship and it says she's insecure about the relationship too." --But since they're both on board, it's not totally a bad thing . . . quote, "It's good that they walk in step. It shows they are like-minded and both on the same page. --"There's also a lot of passion between them, but she just needs to step up and take charge in the relationship." (--Here are some pics of Justin and Selena walking together . . . with Justin in front. We've also thrown in some pics of Selena in Rio Wednesday night.) (--In the first two, they're in the backseat of a vehicle, and Selena is going in for a KISS. In the third pic, they're walking together . . . and guess who's in front?) (Hollywood Life, Daily Mail)


Vivid Entertainment Has Offered Amanda Knox a Job . . . But She Doesn't Have to Do Porno:

The smut company Vivid Entertainment has offered FORMER convicted murderer AMANDA KNOX a job. But she doesn't have to do any porno. They would just like her to rep them at trade shows and other events. --Of course, if she WANTED to do nudity or sex, the company would, quote, "welcome talking to her" about it. There's no word how much they're offering, or if Amanda has shown any interest. (--We're going to go ahead and assume NOT.)


Salma Hayek Can Take Care of Herself . . . But She Doesn't Mind Being Married to a Billionaire, Either:

SALMA HAYEK is proud that she can take care of herself . . . but at the same time, being married to a BILLIONAIRE is nice, too. --She says, quote, "I work hard, I make my own living and I love it. I like having financial independence. I don't ever want to have to depend on anyone completely. --"[But] when I have troubles sometimes, it's nice to have someone there to help." --Salma's husband is Francois-Henri Pinault . . . the 49-year-old CEO of his family's business, Pinault-Printemps-Redoute. --It's a French holding company whose subsidiaries include Gucci, Yves Saint Lauren, Balenciaga, Puma and Stella McCartney, just to name a few. The Pinault family is worth about $11.5 billion. --Selma and Francois have a 4-year-old daughter named Valentina. --And even though her husband's company is in charge of some of the most important fashion companies in the world, she maintains her own style. --She says, quote, "I'm still a Mexican. I like to play fashion with him, but I'm nobody's Barbie."


Demi Moore Says She Sent Ashton Kutcher an Orchid When He Took Over for Charlie Sheen on "Two and a Half Men":

DEMI MOORE was on "Good Morning America" yesterday along with JENNIFER ANISTON and ALICIA KEYS. They were promoting their upcoming breast cancer movie "Five", which will air on Lifetime. --And all references to ASHTON KUTCHER were POSITIVE. Demi didn't address his alleged cheating . . . but she revealed that the two of them recently exchanged flowers. --Demi said Ashton sent her a bouquet and a note that read, "I believe in you" to celebrate "Five" . . . and she sent him an orchid to mark his debut on "Two and a Half Men". (--Here's video.) (--By the way . . . Demi, Jennifer and Alicia aren't IN "Five". They each directed segments of it. It airs this coming Monday.)


Billy Bob Thornton's Daughter Was Sentenced to 20 Years in Prison for the Death of a Baby:

BILLY BOB THORNTON'S estranged daughter was sentenced to 20 years in prison yesterday, for the death of a 1-year-old child three years ago. --32-year-old Amanda Brumfield was initially charged with MURDER . . . but was found guilty of manslaughter back in June. -The victim was Brumfield's goddaughter, Olivia Madison Garcia. She died of a head injury during an overnight stay at Brumfield's house. --Brumfield had told authorities Olivia fell out of a playpen and hit her head, but prosecutors argued that her injuries were too severe to have been caused by a minor fall like that. --In addition to her prison sentence, Brumfield was ordered to pay $10,000 for investigative and prosecution costs. --Brumfield is the daughter of Billy Bob and his first wife, Melissa Gatlin. They've had very little contact since Billy Bob left her mom in 1980.


Tim Robbins and "Gossip Girl" Star Penn Badgley Were Among the "Occupy Wall Street" Protesters on Wednesday:

Those "Occupy Wall Street" protesters in New York City can't seem to figure out exactly what they're protesting . . . but that hasn't stopped Hollywood from taking up their cause. --On Wednesday, TIM ROBBINS and "Gossip Girl" star PENN BADGLEY were walking among them. --Robbins said, quote, "This is what an actual grassroots movement looks like. It's a bit sloppy and disorganized but full of passion." -And Badgley said, quote, "It's cheesy, but I want to do whatever I can. Let's be honest: I'm on [effing] 'Gossip Girl' . . . It's absurd that celebrity power is what it is, but, like, use any tool you have, you know?" --Other celebrities who've been spotted joining the cause include Susan Sarandon, Michael Moore, Russell Simmons and Mark Ruffalo.


Actor Charles Napier . . . the Leader of The Good Ole Boys in "The Blues Brothers" . . . Has Died:

One of Hollywood's greatest character actors, CHARLES NAPIER, died Wednesday after collapsing at his California home. He was 75 years old. There's no word on the cause of death, but last year, he was hospitalized for blood clots. --Napier is probably best known as Tucker McElroy, the leader of the country band The Good Ole Boys, in "The Blues Brothers". (--His classic line from that movie: "You're gonna look pretty funny trying to eat corn on the cob with no (effin') teeth.") --He also played one of the cops Hannibal Lecter kills when he escapes from his jail cell in "Silence of the Lambs". --Napier's other credits include "Rambo: First Blood Part 2", "Philadelphia", "Married to the Mob" and the trashtastic classic "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls". He's also done tons of TV guest spots over the years. --More recently, he was in the JEREMY PIVEN bomb "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard" . . . and he was brutally killed by RON JEREMY'S PENIS in the direct-to-video "horror" flick "One Eyed Monster".


Kristen Stewart Says All Her Teachers Failed Her:

For a while there, KRISTEN STEWART seemed happy. She was even SMILING a little, and posing for magazines in bikinis. --But TRUE Kristen Stewart fans will be happy to know that she's back to complaining and being sullen. Today, she's railing against her seventh grade teachers. All of them. --She says, quote, "School became genuinely uncomfortable. I was feeling a little self-conscious about the acting thing with my peers, but also my teachers became a problem. --"They didn't want to do the extra work or put packages together so I could keep up while away. --"They failed me. My teachers failed me. Not one, but all of them. I'm always slightly ashamed in a way, about what I do. --"I'm slightly embarrassed as I had such serious ambitions when I was younger, I just never imagined that I would ever have a reason not go to school. But then this happened."


Michael Jackson's Fingerprints Were Not Found on Any Propofol Bottles:

The big news yesterday in the manslaughter trial of DR. CONRAD MURRAY is that MICHAEL JACKSON'S fingerprints were NOT found on any of the bottles of propofol or other medical evidence collected from Michael's bedroom after his death. --But prosecutors noted that a print from one of Dr. Murray's index fingers was found on a vial of propofol next to Michael's bed. --Now the defense actually AGREES with prosecutors on that point. But that doesn't mean they're happy about it. --They claim Michael administered the deadly dose of propofol to HIMSELF . . . so obviously, this fingerprint evidence is something they're going to have to get around to make people believe them. --Also yesterday, Elissa Fleak . . . an investigator with the L.A. County Coroner's Office . . . admitted under cross-examination that mistakes were made in the evidence-collection phase of the investigation. --But when Dr. Murray's attorney asked her if a, quote, "substantial number of mistakes" were made, she said NO.


NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND

What Will You Go See This Weekend? Hugh Jackman's "Real Steel" or George Clooney's "The Ides of March":

#1.) "Real Steel" (PG-13)

This is like "Rocky" . . . but for robots. Hugh Jackman plays a former boxer who lost his shot at the title when human boxing died out and was replaced with robot fighters. Now he barely gets by, promoting underground fights with bots he's cobbled together. --But after his son convinces him to teach a sparring bot all his moves they get a real shot at a championship fight. "Lost's" Evangeline Lilly plays Jackman's ex-girlfriend. (Trailer)



#2.) "The Ides of March" (R)

Ryan Gosling plays a staffer on George Clooney's presidential campaign, whose loyalties are tested when he gets involved in some sort of scandal. The movie was directed by Clooney, and the rest of the cast includes Philip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei, Paul Giamatti, and Evan Rachel Wood. (Trailer)


Republicans Like "Narnia", Democrats Like "Madea" . . . And Other Results of a Poll on Politics and Box Office Choice:

The "Hollywood Reporter" just released the results of a poll on Democrats, Republicans and their box office choices. And here's a huge surprise: Republicans like family movies more than Democrats. --The poll found that of recent movies, Republicans were a lot more likely to prefer flicks like "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe", "Thor", "Soul Surfer", "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" and "Secretariat". --And Democrats preferred stuff that's a little edgier, like "Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family", "Bad Teacher", "Easy A", "The Social Network" and "Rise of the Planet of the Apes". --Meanwhile, movies like "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps", "Midnight in Paris", "The Lincoln Lawyer", "Rio", and "Limitless" crossed party lines. --52% of Republicans say they've avoided a movie because of the star's politics. 36% of Democrats have done the same. --62% of Democrats say Hollywood portrays America in a positive light. Not surprisingly, only 39% of Republicans agree. --Meanwhile, 44% of Republicans think Hollywood portrays the military in a negative light, and only 21% of Democrats agree. --The poll also figured out which stars are the MOST HATED by both sides . . . although the results were pretty obvious. Stars the Republicans Avoid: --60% of Republicans will reject basically anything MICHAEL MOORE is involved in. Although 21% of Democrats will, too. So not everybody on the left is spellbound by him. --48% of Republicans said they're likely to avoid a JANE FONDA flick . . . 47% aren't WHOOPI GOLDBERG fans . . . 46% of Republicans aren't into OPRAH WINFREY'S politics . . . and oddly, SEAN PENN only turns off 40% of Republicans. Stars Democrats Avoid: --MEL GIBSON tops this list. But his disapproval rating is only 36%. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER is frowned upon by 30% of Democrats. --I'm not sure I understand this one, but TOM CRUISE is next, with 27% of Dems saying they won't patronize his movies. (--Maybe it's his opposition to psychiatry and antidepressants? Or perhaps his disregard for living room furniture . . . ?) --14% would boycott the movies of KELSEY GRAMMER because of his right-leaning views. (--The other 86% boycott Kelsey's movies because THEY BLOW.) --And 13% are turned off by JON VOIGHT . . . who's a very vocal Republican.


The First Three "Twilight" Movies Will Hit Theaters Again for One Night Only in November:

To celebrate the release of "Breaking Dawn - Part 1", the first three "Twilight" movies are going to hit theaters again in November . . . but each one will play for just one night. And they're all playing on Tuesdays. --"Twilight" will play on November 1st . . . "New Moon" follows November 8th . . . and "Eclipse" opens November 15th. (--"Breaking Dawn - Part 1" opens three days later, on Friday, November 18th.) --Each showing will take place at 7:30 P.M., and will include cast introductions, interviews and behind-the-scenes content. (--For a list of participating theaters, check out FathomEvents.com.)


Check Out Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen in "Snow White":

Some new pictures from the LILY COLLINS "Snow White" movie have been released . . . and they include your first shots of JULIA ROBERTS as the Evil Queen. (--Check 'em out here.) (D-Listed) (--This one doesn't have an official title yet, but it's scheduled to come out in March. That OTHER "Snow White" movie, "Snow White and the Huntsman", will be out next June.) (--That one stars KRISTEN STEWART as Snow White and CHARLIZE THERON as the Evil Queen . . . not to mention Thor himself, CHRIS HEMSWORTH . . . as the VERY SEXY Huntsman.)


Check Out Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe in "My Week With Marilyn":

MICHELLE WILLIAMS plays MARILYN MONROE in "My Week With Marilyn" . . . which hits theaters on November 4th. It also stars Kenneth Branagh, Emma Watson and Judi Dench. (--Check out the trailer here. By the way, Emma Watson has a really hot younger brother who's a model. Check out some pics here.) (E! Online)




Will the New James Bond Movie Be Called "Skyfall"?

There's word that the next James Bond movie will be called "Skyfall". Apparently, somebody found out that Sony Pictures has secured several domain names including JamesBond-Skyfall.com and Skyfallthefilm.com.


"Friday Night Lights" Will Be a Movie . . . Again:

CONNIE BRITTON says there's a movie version in the works of "Friday Night Lights" . . . which is funny, because the TV series was based on a movie in the first place. (--You can read more about this here.)


Is "The Simpsons" on Its Way Out Even If the Actors Agree to a Pay Cut?

Earlier this week, the studio that produces "The Simpsons", 20th Century Fox, informed the cast that they'll be forced to cancel the show after this season if they don't accept a MASSIVE pay cut. --Well, now we're hearing that the show may be on its way out even if the cast agrees to the proposed 45% salary hit. --A so-called "executive close to the show" tells TheWrap.com that Fox is only interested in doing ONE more season after the current one . . . and they'll only do that season if everyone connected to "The Simpsons" takes a pay cut. --So far, the show's producers have agreed to reduce their salaries, but there's no update on what the cast is thinking. They're supposed to decide by today. --Here are some specific numbers from TheWrap.com --The six principal voice actors currently make $440,000 per episode. With over 20 episodes per season, they each rake in around $9 million a season. --The proposed pay cut would reduce their salaries to $250,000 per episode, which comes out to over $5 million a season. --The cast has counter-proposed a pay cut to $300,000 per episode . . . or over $6 million per season . . . but WITH a cut of the show's "back end," which is money from syndication, merchandising and DVD sales. --20th Century Fox has already declined that offer. --By the way, the cast commissioned a study into how much 20th Century Fox is making off the show . . . to see if the show is as unprofitable as they say it is. --Here's what they found: "The Simpsons" has earned $3.95 billion in revenue . . . including "network advertising, syndication payments, international airings, merchandising, and home video". . . and it has cost about $3.07 billion to produce. --So, "The Simpsons" has made nearly $1 billion in profits. The study also claims it stands to earn another $2 billion in profits AFTER they stop producing new episodes. (--This would suggest there IS money, but these numbers are unofficial.)


"Simpsons" Star Hank Azaria Has Lost His New Sitcom:

HANK AZARIA may be losing his longtime gig on "The Simpsons" . . . but he's already lost his new NBC sitcom, "Free Agents". --NBC canceled "Free Agents" because of low ratings. It premiered to 6.1 million viewers last month, but the following three episodes averaged just 3.4 million viewers. There are no plans yet to air the remaining episodes. --After the news broke, Hank Tweeted, quote, "Thanks to NBC for giving us a shot, thanks to all who watched 'Free Agents', and thanks to all who worked on the show. We had so much fun!!" (--Earlier in the week, Hank had urged his Twitter followers to watch "Free Agents", but it wasn't enough. This is the second new show to be canceled this season. NBC also dumped "The Playboy Club".)


Sharon Osbourne's Break from "The Talk" Was to Have Her Leaking Breast Implants Removed:

We'd heard that SHARON OSBOURNE was taking a break from "The Talk" to spend time with OZZY OSBOURNE . . . but on yesterday's show, she explained that she also used her time off to have her leaking breast implants removed. --She said, quote, "One of my boobies was kind of much longer than the other. I'm thinking, this isn't right." Sharon says that a doctor told her that one of her implants was leaking, and that it had, quote, "leaked into the wall of her stomach." (--You can find video on CBS.com.)
WEEKEND TV REMINDERS

Friday TV Reminders:


--"Phineas and Ferb" . . . 7:00 to 7:30 P.M. on Disney Channel. (--Michael Douglas, Michael J. Fox, Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer do guest voices when Candace believes she is becoming a vampire after being bitten by a bat.)


--"A Gifted Man" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--"Twilight's" Rachelle Lefevre (a.k.a. the first Victoria) joins the cast as a doctor running Anna's family-clinic.)


--"Say Yes To the Dress" [7th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on TLC. (--Kelly Ripa tries her hand at being a bridal-gown consultant for a day.)


--"Top Secret Recipe" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CMT. (--A look at the secret ingredients behind popular food, like Cinnabons and KFC chicken.)


--"Sanctuary" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.


--"Four Weddings" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.


Saturday TV Reminders:


--"Grand Ole Opry Live" . . . 7:00 to 9:00 P.M. on GAC. (--Rascal Flatts, Ronnie Dunn, Charley Pride and Craig Morgan perform.)


--"Rules of Engagement" [6th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on CBS.


--"Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Raphael Saadiq and Black Joe Lewis perform.)


--"The Adam Carolla Project" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on DIY. (--Adam Carolla buys his childhood home and asks his friends to help him with his plans to turn it into a million-dollar estate. Carolla is a former construction worker himself.)


--"That Metal Show" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic. (--Whitesnake guitarist John Sykes and Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy guest.)


--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Ben Stiller guest hosts and Foster the People is the musical guest.)



Sunday TV Reminders:


--"Sunday Night Football" . . . 8:20 to 11:20 P.M. Eastern on NBC. (--The Atlanta Falcons host the Green Bay Packers at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta.)


--"So Random!" . . . 7:30 to 8:00 P.M. on Disney. (--Iyaz performs "Pretty Girls".)


--"Keeping Up With the Kardashians: Kim's Fairytale Wedding" [Part 1 of 2] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on E! (--The Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries wedding.)


--"Desperate Housewives" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Mike begins to worry that Susan and Carlos are having an affair. Sarah Paulson guest stars as Lynette's sister, who stops by for a visit with her fiancé.)


--"The Good Wife" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. (--"House's" Lisa Edelstein begins a three-episode guest stint as Will's ex-wife, who's also an attorney.)


--"100 Moments That Changed TV" [Parts 3 of 5]. . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TV Guide. (--This episode covers the impact of "The Cosby Show", "M*A*S*H", and Bill Clinton's saxophone-playing appearance on "The Arsenio Hall Show".)


--"Day Jobs" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on GAC. (--Chris Young, Kimberly Schlapman and Craig Morgan are reunited with their pre-fame jobs.)


--"Breaking Bad" [4th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on AMC.


--"South Park: Six Days to Air" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--Series creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone give a behind the scenes look at how a "South Park" episode is created.)


--"The Real Housewives of New Jersey" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo.


--"How To Make It In America" . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on HBO. (--Gina Gershon guest stars as a well-connected fashion representative.)


Brian May Says Queen Would Like to Collaborate with Lady Gaga:

There are some reports going around online claiming that guitarist BRIAN MAY has asked LADY GAGA to become the permanent new singer for QUEEN. As much as Brian might dig that . . . he can't actually think that could happen. --Brian tells Britain's "Daily Express" tabloid, quote, "We talk about going out on the road all the time but there's a bit of a singer problem to put it mildly. --"We get a lot of offers to work with other people. I worked with Lady Gaga . . . and she's very creative and is someone we've talked about singing, fronting the band with." --Brian performed with Gaga at the "MTV Video Music Awards" in August. (--You can find video, here. Brian shows up at the 6:23 mark.) --Clearly, Brian seems to want to collaborate with Lady Gaga in the future, and she might be down for that. After all, the inspiration for the name "Lady Gaga" came from the Queen song "Radio Ga Ga". --Queen's original singer FREDDIE MERCURY died in 1991. They worked with singer PAUL RODGERS from BAD COMPANY and FREE from 2004 to 2009, but since then they haven't had a set singer. --And they might not be in the market for something permanent. --Brian says, quote, "We have talked about doing duets with other people . . . and I almost pressed the 'yes' button. We were debating the idea of a TV show where we have all these guest stars. We didn't press it today, but we are still looking at it."
The 10 Worst Songs of the '80s . . . According to "Rolling Stone" Readers:

"Rolling Stone" recently polled their readers to come up with a list of The Worst Songs of the '80s. They released the results yesterday. Here's the list:


1.) "We Built This City", Starship (1985)

2.) "The Final Countdown", Europe (1986)

3.) "Lady in Red", Chris de Burgh (1986)

4.) "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go", Wham! (1984)

5.) "The Safety Dance", Men Without Hats (1982)

6.) "Rock Me Amadeus", Falco (1986)

7.) "Don't Worry, Be Happy", Bobby McFerrin (1988)

8.) "Mickey", Toni Basil (1982)

9.) "Puttin' on the Ritz", Taco (1983)

10.) "Never Gonna Give You Up", Rick Astley (1987)

(--You can find audio and mini write-ups for each one at RollingStone.com.)


Lee DeWyze Has Lost His Record Deal:

Remember LEE DEWYZE? No? --He won the ninth season of "American Idol" by defeating his runner-up CRYSTAL BOWERSOX. (--That name isn't ringing a bell either, is it?) --Well . . . Lee has already been dropped from his label, RCA Records. His debut album, "Live It Up", has sold 168,000 copies since it came out last fall, but apparently that wasn't enough to hold RCA's interest. But don't worry about Lee. -His rep says he's, quote, "in a good place right now." (--I bet that's Grand Teton National Park. I hear it's absolutely beautiful in the fall!) (???)


Chris Martin Doesn't Force His Kids to Listen to Coldplay:

COLDPLAY singer CHRIS MARTIN says he doesn't FORCE his kids to listen to Coldplay . . . although he's writing music that he hopes they'll WANT to listen to at some point. (--He has a seven-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son.) --He explains, quote, "You don't want to spend months and months doing something and have it turn out terrible. You want your kids to be proud, basically. So it gives you extra drive . . . [but] I don't make them listen to it. No one in our family has to listen to it."
Top 15 Hip-Hop Songs That Name Check Steve Jobs:

In honor of Apple boss STEVE JOBS, who passed away on Wednesday . . . Billboard.com has put together a list of The Top 15 Hip-Hop Songs Referencing Steve Jobs or one of his inventions. Here's the list, which is in no particular order:


1.) Jay-Z, "The Prelude" . . . (CAREFUL) Quote, "Head and shoulders, my invisible neck / You see Hova, wasn't digital yet / Befo' Steve Jobs, made the iPod / Was getting head, jobs, we call that intimate."


2.) Diggy Simmons, "Made You Look" (Freestyle) . . . Quote, "I made you look / Y'all are slaves to a page in my MacBook / They didn't know I could rap / I had them all shook."


3.) Jamie Foxx featuring Kanye West and The-Dream, "Digital Girl" . . . Quote, "I want to see what's under there / There now put it in the air / Yeah load it on my MacBook Air / It's a new form of macking, don't be old fashioned."


4.) Rick Ross featuring Lil Wayne, "9 Piece" . . . Quote, "I'm smoking dope, I'm on my cell phone / I'm selling dope, straight off the iPhone."


5.) Fabolous featuring Paul Cain, "Steve Jobs" . . . Quote, "Getting mo' money it come with mo' problems, man/ I used to be Mac'ing but now I'm Steve Jobbin', man."


6.) Mindless Behavior featuring Diggy Simmons, "Mrs. Right" . . . Quote, "Let me kiss ya back / Open up your MacBook / Put me on your lap / Stay sending smiley faces on the chat."


7.) Common, "Southside" . . . Quote, "Back in '94 they call me Chi-town's Nas / Now them [N-words] know I'm one of Chi-town's gods / We eatin', yo, you still talking no carbs / A conscious [N-word] with mac like Steve Jobs."


8.) Chris Brown featuring Tyga and Kevin McCall, "Ballin'" . . . Quote, "Look, BBC hat clean diamond snap hook / Take a picture with it, like it's my last look / Gold MacBook, cost $100,000 Gs / I don't give a [eff] with rats, I throw away the cheese."


9.) Iyaz, "Replay" . . . Quote, "Shawty's like a melody in my head / That I can't keep out, got me singin' like / Na, na, na, na everyday / It's like my iPod's stuck on replay, replay."


10.) Kanye West featuring Swizz Beatz, Jay-Z, Pusha-T, CyHi The Prynce, RZA - "So Appalled" . . . CyHi raps, quote, "I am so outrageous / I wear my pride on my sleeve like a bracelet / If God had a iPod, I'd be on his playlist / My phrases amazing, the faces and places, the favorite."


11.) Shawn Chrystopher - "Ashes on My MacBook" . . . Quote, "Blunt ashes on my MacBook."


12.) Wiz Khalifa, "Ode to Naked Pop Stars" . . . Quote, "I don't know him, but whoever stole your Mac / When I see him, I'mma pat him on the back . . . Like a nerd with no MacBook, look how pretty that lil' cat look."


13.) Nicki Minaj featuring Lil Wayne, "I Get Crazy" . . . Quote, "I just came out of the mother[effin'] old school / Got my Mac notebook with the Pro tools."


14.) Swizz Beatz featuring Coldplay, "That Oprah" . . . Quote, "Bill Gates, Steve Jobs / iPhones, Microsoft / My paper is very long, your paper is very soft."


15.) B.o.B, "Don't Let Me Fall" . . . Quote, "Now I'm in your house / Now I'm in your stove / Now I'm everywhere that your iPod go / Everything I seen was a dream just a moment ago."

(--Find audio of each of these tracks at Billboard.com. WARNING: These versions are UNCENSORED.)


Hank Williams Jr. and "Monday Night Football" Have Quit Each Other:

It's over for HANK WILLIAMS JR. and "Monday Night Football". Both Hank AND ESPN "parted ways" via statements on their websites. We don't know who fired the first shot. --Here's the ESPN post, quote, "We have decided to part ways with Hank Williams Jr. We appreciate his contributions over the past years. The success of 'Monday Night Football' has always been about the games and that will continue." --And here's what Hank wrote, quote, "After reading hundreds of e-mails, I have made MY decision. By pulling my opening October 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It's been a great run." (--This is no surprise. The writing was on the wall when ESPN pulled the plug on Monday. And we'd run out of breath arguing who's right or wrong.)


FRIDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


ELISABETTA CANALIS went on a sexy, interracial date with MEHCAD BROOKS from "True Blood" the other night. (Video)


GEORGE CLOONEY says it's a tradition for people to skinny-dip at his villa in Lake Como, Italy. Those who've done it include Marisa Tomei, Evan Rachel Wood, Charlie Rose and . . . Walter Cronkite. (???) (Full Story)


Idiot blogger Perez Hilton claims LINDSAY LOHAN is cutting herself. Her rep says she's not. (Full Story)


PATRICIA ARQUETTE has deactivated her Facebook account because one of her friends was stalking her. (Full Story)


WOODY ALLEN would like to cast MICHELLE OBAMA in a movie. As far-fetched as that sounds, Woody's last movie, "Midnight In Paris", features a performance by French first lady CARLA BRUNI. (Full Story)


JOHNNY DEPP is producing . . . and will probably star in . . . a movie about DR. SEUSS. (Full Story) He's also going to star in a new movie version of the Dashiell Hammett novel "The Thin Man". (Full Story)


GREEN DAY singer BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG will guest star on an episode of Showtime's "Nurse Jackie". There aren't many details yet . . . all we know is that he isn't playing himself. (Full Story) (--The fourth season of "Nurse Jackie" premieres next spring.)


Despite being a "favorite," BOB DYLAN did not win a Nobel Prize in literature this year. Some Swedish poet did. (Full Story)


Is another "Bachelor" / "Bachelorette" relationship ending? Possibly. Their "pals" tell "Us" magazine, quote, "They bring out the worst in each other . . . she's miserable in the relationship and he is too." (Full Story)


In case you missed it, CONAN O'BRIEN returned to NBC on Wednesday, when he surprised JIMMY FALLON on "Late Night", which of course is his old show. He said he came back because he forgot Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. (Video)

On the same episode, EVAN RACHEL WOOD sang JUSTIN BIEBER'S hit, "Baby". She claims she's a big fan. (Video)


The CW has canceled "H8R". (Full Story)


STEVE JOBS

The Westboro Baptist Church Tweeted That They're Protesting Steve Jobs' Funeral . . . and the Tweet Came From an iPhone:

Normally we ignore the pigs at the Westboro Baptist Church, since their protests at funerals are just lame publicity stunts. But this time we can all laugh in their hypocritical faces. --After STEVE JOBS passed away on Wednesday, a tweet was posted by Margie Phelps, one of the leaders of the church. Her father is Fred Phelps, the group's leader. --Margie announced that, quote, "Westboro will picket [Steve Jobs'] funeral. He had a huge platform, gave God no glory and taught sin." --And now, for the irony . . . underneath her tweet, it shows that she posted it using TWITTER FOR iPHONE. --That's right. She's protesting Jobs' funeral even though she clearly uses his products. --Which just goes to show that these people don't REALLY care about anything other than getting attention. If they truly resented Jobs, they wouldn't buy Apple products. But they do. Because they're hypocrites . . . and morons. --After the Internet exploded yesterday, laughing at her, Margie tweeted that the iPhone wasn't created by Jobs . . . it was created by God. Which is a pretty stupid thing to say in its own right. (ABC News) (--Here's an image of her tweet.)


Steve Jobs' Signature Turtleneck Sees a Huge Boom in Sales . . . Does That Mean "Zombie Steve Jobs" is Going to be a Hot Halloween Costume?

St. Croix is the clothing company that makes the black turtlenecks that became part of STEVE JOBS' trademark look. And after he died on Wednesday . . . sales of them SKYROCKETED. --St. Croix says the sales went up almost 100% yesterday. The company says they're planning a memorial for Jobs, but haven't decided what they're going to do yet. --But when a prominent celebrity dies in October, shock-value Halloween costumes follow. So does the rush on Jobs' signature turtleneck mean we're going to see a ton of ZOMBIE STEVE JOBS costumes in a few weeks? --Answer: Almost definitely. (TMZ) (--Here's the St. Croix turtleneck, and Steve wearing it. You can pick one up for $175 here.)


The Publication Date for the Steve Jobs Biography Has Been Moved Up . . . and It's Selling Like Crazy:

STEVE JOBS' first authorized biography was set to be published on November 21st. But with his death on Wednesday, the demand for the biography has shot up . . . and the publisher, Simon & Schuster, has responded. --They've moved the publication date up to the 24th of this month. Ever since Jobs' death, the book, called "Steve Jobs", has been at or near the top of the sales charts on Amazon, BarnesAndNoble.com, and Apple's iBooks. (Entertainment Weekly)


RANDOM STUFF

If You're Sexist Against Women, You Got Those Feelings From Your Mom?

Here's an interesting study out of the University of the Basque Country in Spain: They found that people develop sexist beliefs because of the sexism they learn from a parent. --But it's not dad, ranting about how women are too emotional, illogical, bad at driving, bad at math, and generally the weaker sex. No . . . it's because of your MOM ranting about all that. --The researchers found that children had their sexist beliefs passed along by their MOMS more than their DADS. Moms statistically spend more time with kids at impressionable ages than dads do, so their beliefs pass on more strongly. --And any mom who's a little self-loathing, or who butts heads with other women, or just generally talks negatively about other women can plant sexist thoughts against women in her kids' minds . . . without even realizing it. (The Frisky)
Here are Your Instructions for Carving a Pumpkin to Look Like the Death Star From "Star Wars":

Want to GUARANTEE that your pumpkin is NERDIER than any other pumpkin on the block? We've got you covered. --We found a website that gives you full instructions on how to carve your pumpkin to look like the DEATH STAR from "Star Wars". It's complicated . . . but no one said being a RAGING NERD was easy, right? --Just go to fantasypumpkins.com, or search for "Carving the Death Star." (--Here's a photo.)


A Politician in Florida is Trying to Get the State's Dwarf Tossing Ban Repealed . . . To Create Jobs?

Well here's a first. In Florida, a politician is trying to stimulate the job market by . . . allowing people to LEGALLY THROW DWARFS. --Ritch Workman is a Republican representative in the Florida state legislature. And he's submitted a bill to repeal Florida's ban on DWARF TOSSING. --Back in the '80s, apparently tossing little people for sport was HUGE in Florida bars. But for some reason people found that offensive, so in 1989, the legislature banned it. Now, 22 years later, Workman thinks it's time to bring dwarf tossing back. --He says the ban serves no purpose other than, quote, "preventing some dwarfs from getting jobs they would be happy to get . . . in this economy, why would we want to prevent people from getting gainful employment?" --Now . . . Workman DID make it clear that he's not doing this just because he really wants to see people throwing little people around. He calls dwarf tossing, quote, "repulsive and stupid." --But he doesn't believe it's the state's job to tell dwarfs whether or not they can be tossed. --Workman didn't actually CONSULT with dwarfs before filing the bill, though. In fact, the Little People of America organization says they LOVE the ban. --Quote, "[Dwarf tossing] brings out the worst element in some people, and it's focused on people who are the most vulnerable. The people who were thrown [before] were alcoholics with low self-esteem." (Palm Beach Post)


Employers Say That Job Seekers Should Call Within Two Weeks After Sending Their Resume:

A recent rule of thumb for job seekers is that you shouldn't call a company after sending a resume. If they're interested, they'll call you. --That's changed. Now, job seekers are expected to follow up with a phone call soon after sending a resume. --A temp agency called Accountemps surveyed hiring managers, and only one in 100 said that you should never call to follow up. The rest thought it was a good idea. --Just over two in five managers said that a reasonable amount of time to wait before calling is one to two weeks. Slightly less than two in five said that you should follow up even sooner than that. --Employers place a value on initiative and enthusiasm, and taking the extra step of calling to touch base after sending a resume demonstrates that. --If you're old-school and still feel uncomfortable about calling, a follow-up email works just as well. In the email, you should quickly run through the reasons why you'd be great for the job. --But even though persistence is a valuable trait, you shouldn't follow up more than twice. (PR Newswire)


Three Out of Four New Doctors Got Over 50 Job Solicitations in Med School . . . and Half Got Over 100:

If you're unemployed and can't find work . . . don't look for any sympathy from your doctor. --Apparently, there's no unemployment problem in the field of medicine. Over the last 20 years, the general population has grown and gotten increasingly older, while the number of doctors has remained steady. --That means there's a shortage of doctors . . . and new doctors have their choice of job offers right out of medical school. --According to a study by physician search firm Merritt Hawkins, three out of four new doctors receive at least 50 job solicitations while still in training. --That doesn't mean they've gotten that many job offers. It refers to calls, e-mails, or letters from recruiters trying to find a pool of candidates to fill a job opening. --Almost half of new doctors had more than 100 solicitations by the time they finished their school and training. --Even though they have a strong job market, more than one in four new doctors say if they could do it over again, they'd choose a different field. That's a 10% increase from the last survey, three years ago. --One in three doctors want a job in a hospital. Only one in 100 say they'd want to operate their own practice. (Sacramento Bee)


A Couple Has Set the Guinness World Record for Most Marriage Vow Renewals . . . At 99:

I'm glad I'm not friends with this couple. Because I'd literally go broke buying stemware and toaster ovens off their registry. --60-year-old Lauren and 58-year-old David Blair of Henderson, Tennessee are the Guinness World Record holders for . . . most MARRIAGE VOW RENEWALS. --They got married in 1984 and have renewed their vows 99 TIMES . . . that's an average of almost four a year. So if you count their actual wedding, they've now gotten married 100 times. --They try to renew in a different place each time . . . earlier this week, they hit 99 when they renewed at a Hard Rock Café in Honolulu. --You might think that any couple that renews their vows that many times is insecure . . . and we're thinking that's accurate. --Lauren says, quote, "We were both in long-term relationships in the past that didn't work out. We knew we were meant for each other and wanted to continually share that vow experience." (Huffington Post)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS

A Cell Phone Thief Accidentally Posted His Photo on the Victim's Facebook Page:

It's always good to see a thief get exposed because he didn't understand the technology he was stealing. And that's exactly what happened in Henry, Georgia. --A few weeks ago, a man broke into a woman's car and stole her purse. Her cell phone was inside, and the thief took a self-portrait with it. But he didn't realize it was linked to AUTOMATICALLY post photos onto the victim's FACEBOOK. --She showed the cops . . . so now they have a perfect headshot of the thief. They've publicized it and say they're confident SOMEONE will recognize him and turn him in. (Atlanta Journal Constitution) (--Here's the photo.)


A Man is Facing Battery Charges for Attacking His Wife . . . Because She Didn't Click "Like" on His Facebook Status:

How many lives must Facebook ruin? There's blood on your hands, Zuckerberg. --On Monday, 36-year-old Benito Apolinar of Carlsbad, New Mexico posted a Facebook status update about the anniversary of his mother's death. And his wife, Dolores . . . who he just separated from after 15 years . . . didn't click "Like." --That sent Benito into a RAGE. He told his wife he couldn't believe so many other people "Liked" his status and she didn't. They argued, it escalated, and he ended up grabbing and pulling her hair. --She called the cops and he was arrested. He's now facing battery charges. (Carlsbad Current-Argus)


RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


Pumpkin Wars? There's a race on to be the first 'competitive grower' to create a one-ton pumpkin. The record is 1,810 pounds . . . a smart car weighs 1,600 pounds . . . and a ton is 2,000 pounds. One grower uses 80 sprinklers and 27,000 gallons a month to water his. (Full Story)


A 35-year-old in the Philippines got a bunch of plastic surgery to look like Superman, including a nose job, a chin augmentation, lip injections, and thigh implants. (Full Story)


This is how bad the economy sucks: Last month, thieves in a Pennsylvania town stole an entire 50-foot steel bridge to get the scrap metal. (Full Story)


A 32-year-old thief in Pennsylvania broke into a disabled woman's house and robbed her while she was in her wheelchair. When she started praying, he stopped, kneeled, prayed with her, didn't give back the money . . . and ran off. He was caught a short time later and arrested. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) The Weird German Guy Who Hates Daddy Long Legs Also Hates the Phrase "Shooting Fish in a Barrel":

Remember the weird German guy who posted a video rant about how much he hates daddy long legs? Well, he's back. And he hates the phrase, "shooting fish in a barrel" just as much. --He says it's not really that easy to do, because it's 2011, and first you have to FIND a barrel. Then he makes a not-so-brilliant cake analogy near the end. (--Search for "Shooting the Fish in the Barrel, Why Is That?" The cake comment is at 1:41.)


#2.) Tom Cruise Got Into a Dance Off at a Wedding . . . and Did 'The Worm':

In case you missed it, TMZ has footage of TOM CRUISE in a DANCE OFF at a wedding in Palm Springs over the weekend. --It wasn't nearly as good as his Les Grossman dance with J.Lo at last year's MTV Music Awards. But it wasn't bad either. First he did 'the worm,' then a split. Then he let the other guy go. --In case you're wondering, the wedding was for David Ellison, the son of Oracle CEO Larry Ellison . . . who's the third richest man in America. David is also the executive producer on the new "Mission: Impossible" movie. (--Search for "Tom Cruise Wedding Dance Battle.")


#3.) A Little Girl Found Out She Was Going to Disneyland, and Got So Overwhelmed She Started Sobbing:

Some things never change . . . like how much little kids LOVE Disneyland. There's a new video on YouTube called "Lily's Disneyland Surprise", and the first two minutes aren't anything special. It's just a little girl getting a few early birthday presents. --But then her mom springs the BIG surprise on her, and tells her they're going to Disneyland THAT NIGHT. And the girl is so overcome with emotion . . . she breaks down and starts SOBBING. (--She finds out at 1:57, and starts crying at 2:06.)


#4.) A Cop at the Occupy Wall Street Protests Was Caught on Camera Saying, "My Little Nightstick's Gonna Get a Workout Tonight . . . Hopefully":

There's a lot of controversy over how the NYPD is handling the Occupy Wall Street demonstrations. And this probably won't help their cause: --Way before things got out of hand on Wednesday night, a cop setting up barricades was caught on camera saying, quote, "My little nightstick's gonna get a workout tonight . . . hopefully." Then he smacked it against the ground for emphasis. (--Search for "My little nightstick's going to get a workout." He says it at :18.)



Three Online Dating Tips if You're Middle-Aged and Single:

Dating is even harder if you're middle aged . . . especially ONLINE dating. So here are three tips to help make sure your online dating profile paints you in the best light possible.

#1.) Choose a RECENT Photo. It sounds obvious, but a lot of people still use old pictures. It doesn't matter as much if you're 25 now, and 20 in the picture. --But aging becomes more noticeable as you get older. And if you're 45, you might look a lot different than when you were 40. The point is, you don't want the other person to be disappointed when you meet face-to-face. --So use a NEW photo, and follow these rules: Use one that shows you from the shoulders up, with a clear view of your face. And also upload at least one full-length photo that shows you doing something you enjoy, like cooking or walking your dog.


#2.) When You Describe Yourself, Don't Be Too Formal. Some people get way too poetic because they want to sound smart. But you're better off using your natural voice so it sounds like YOU. --The perfect description is relaxed, positive, and two or three paragraphs at the most. But "positive" is probably the most important one. Your online dating profile is not the place to complain about how bad your divorce was.


#3.) Be Clever with Your Headline. Don't be generic and say something like, "Looking for Love" or "Just Trying This Out." It's a waste of space. --Instead, use it to hint at what your personality is like. It could be a line from your favorite movie, or a few words that describe something you're passionate about. (LifeGoesStrong.com)

Here's What Your Drink Says About Your Personality:

The drink you order on a date supposedly reveals all kinds of stuff about your personality. So the website The Daily Meal came up with a list of drinks and what they say about you. Here you go . . .


--Martini. If you're a guy and you order a martini, you're trying to impress your date. If you're a girl drinking a DIRTY martini, you're a hot mess.

--Vodka on the Rocks. You're too self-conscious to actually order a martini.

--Bud Light. If you're a guy, you're laidback and probably most comfortable in a sports bar. If you're a girl, you know how to hang with the guys.

--Appletini or Cosmopolitan. You're using your drink as an accessory to your outfit.

--White Wine. You're definitely a woman, and possibly a little uptight.

--Whiskey, neat. You're hot . . . regardless of gender.

--Jager. You wish you were hanging out with your buddies instead of on a date.

--White Russian. You're a hipster who's obsessed with "The Big Lebowski".

--Old Fashioned. "Mad Men" is your favorite show and you either want to be Don Draper . . . or sleep with him.

--Vodka Gimlet. You're a nerd who's trying desperately to be cool.

--Margarita. It only works if you're actually at a Mexican restaurant. Otherwise you come off as dull, trying to live vicariously through your drink.

--Tequila Shots. You either want to get laid tonight, or forget this date ever happened.

--Long Island Iced Tea. You have a drinking problem. (The Daily Meal)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (10-06-11)

Did Ashton Kutcher Move Out on Demi Moore?

"Life & Style" magazine says that ASHTON KUTCHER has moved out on DEMI MOORE . . . but not because he wants to sample more YOUNG ACTION. It's because Demi has been on the sauce pretty hardcore these days. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "Demi had been sober for a long time . . . decades . . . but recently it's gotten bad. Ashton loves her, but he can't stick around and watch her do this to herself." --The source adds that Demi's daughters and her ex-husband BRUCE WILLIS are backing Ashton and trying to force Demi to get help. --As for Ashton's alleged fling with Sara Leal, the source says, quote, "He may have fooled around with this girl, but his wife is his priority. Ashton's trying to deal with Demi's problems." --Meanwhile . . . the "Star" tabloid has some pics of Ashton with Sara in the early morning hours of September 24th. That's when they allegedly slept together . . . and it was also Ashton and Demi's 6th wedding anniversary.


Kristen Stewart Basically Admitted She's Dating Robert Pattinson:

The secret that hasn't actually been a secret for years is finally not a secret anymore. (???) KRISTEN STEWART has basically admitted she's dating her "Twilight" costar ROBERT PATTINSON. Although she didn't mean to. --In an interview with the British edition of "GQ" magazine, Kristen said she wants to explore the UK while filming her "Snow White" movie because, quote, "my boyfriend is English." --Then she added, quote, "So much of my life is so easily Googled. I mean, it's like, 'Come on guys, it's so obvious!'" --Kristen said she and Rob keep their relationship on the DL because of the "Twilight" fans . . . quote, "I don't think you realize what a big deal it is for people. Well, it is a big deal. --"They would be 'Oh. My. God.' There would also be still a 50/50 split. Some people would still be, 'See, told you they're not together.'" --And also because she wants to keep SOME of her life private . . . quote, "I'm selfish. I'm like, 'That's mine!' And I like to keep whatever is mine remaining that way. --"It's a funny little game to play and it's a slippery slope. I always say to myself I'm never going to give anything away because there's never any point or benefit for me."


Jennifer Aniston Isn't in a Hurry to Have a Kid:

This doesn't make for good tabloid fodder, but JENNIFER ANISTON is NOT pregnant. And she's not desperate to get knocked up, either. --She tells "Elle" magazine, quote, "There's no desperation. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I'm at peace with whatever the plan is. But will you hate me if I say I don't want to talk about my relationship?"


Kim Kardashian Wants to Wait a Year Before Getting Pregnant:

KIM KARDASHIAN and KRIS HUMPHRIES don't plan on starting a family just yet. Kim tells E! News, quote, "I think we would wait like a year before we really start trying to have kids. --"I think we want to figure out where he is gonna play and figure out like his career and like if we have to pack up and move somewhere, like the Midwest. Who knows?" (--Kris is currently a free agent, so he may not end up back on the New Jersey Nets . . . assuming there's an NBA season this year.) --Kris adds that he and Kim plan to have, quote, "Lots of kids."


Has O.J. Simpson Put Together a Prison Football Team?

This is such a B.S., "Longest Yard" rip-off story that it CAN'T be legit. But still, I can't help WISHING it were true. --The "National Enquirer" claims that O.J. SIMPSON has organized a PRISON FOOTBALL TEAM . . . and he wants to start playing other prison teams on PAY-PER-VIEW to raise money for charity. --Oh, and he's not just overseeing the team. At 64 years old, he's actually on the roster. A source says, quote, "O.J. is absolutely serious about this. --"Initially, he was just going to coach the team, which he dubbed 'The Dream Machine' after his legal 'Dream Team' and the 'Mean Machine' from 'The Longest Yard'. --"But his ego wouldn't allow him to stand on the sidelines. He went from diagramming plays to actually running them during scrimmages. --"His legs may be a little creaky, but he's convinced he can show some of the younger prisoners a move or two!" --If O.J. ever succeeds in getting uniforms for the team, he'll be wearing number 32 . . . his old number from the Buffalo Bills.
Fox News Boss Roger Ailes Admits He Hired Sarah Palin Because "She Was Hot and Got Ratings":

Did Fox News hire SARAH PALIN for her intelligence and her astute political insight? Of course not. But we never expected to hear Fox admitting it. Until now. --In an interview to mark the network's 15th anniversary, Fox News boss ROGER AILES admits, quote, "I hired Sarah Palin because she was hot and got ratings."


Sarah Palin Will Not Run for President:

Comedians have lost another great potential source of inspiration in the upcoming presidential election. First DONALD TRUMP quit the race, and now SARAH PALIN has decided not to run. --She says, quote, "After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for President of the United States. --"In the coming weeks, I will help coordinate the strategies to assist in replacing the President, re-taking the Senate, and maintaining the House." (--You can read her full statement here.)


Tiger Woods Has Inked a Deal with Rolex:

When the TIGER WOODS sex scandal broke, the TAG Heuer watch company dropped him as a spokesman. But Tiger has the last laugh, because he just picked up an endorsement deal with Rolex. --There's no word how much it's worth . . . but it's said to be for more than five years.


Anna Faris and Her Husband Are Receiving Death Threats . . . Because They Gave Away Their Cat???

Cat lovers are FREAKING OUT over a decision by ANNA FARIS and her husband CHRIS PRATT to give away their cat because it was old and incontinent. --Pratt . . . who plays Andy Dwyer on NBC's "Parks and Recreation" . . . recently Tweeted that he and Anna wanted to find the cat a new home. Someone offered to take the cat, so they unloaded it. --And that's when people want NUTS on Pratt. There were even DEATH THREATS. --Pratt went to his blog to explain the situation and defend himself and his wife . . . but he kind of made things worse. --His explanation was decent enough . . . even though it probably won't totally appease animal lovers. He said he and Anna want to start a family, so they can't have a cat that relieves itself all over the house. --But then he added . . . (--CAREFUL!) . . . "Sorry. If you are a parent you will understand. And if not, that probably explains why you have such a hard on for cats. Just sayin'." --He also said, quote, "I found my aging cat a [G-D] loving home! Ease up with the death threats for heaven's sake!" . . . and, quote, "Not that this is any of your [effing] business, weirdos." --Interesting trivia: This is actually the cat that played Snowbell in "Stuart Little". She's about 19 years old, and Anna adopted her after she was retired from showbiz. --In one of his Tweets looking for a new home for the cat, Chris also noted, quote, "She is very sweet and needs a good home. We have pugs and she's too old to deal. She needs one on one attention." (--Here's Pratt's Twitter. And here's his blog. Unfortunately, when we checked it last night, the link to his full cat post didn't work.)


More Audio of a Supposedly Drugged Michael Jackson Slurring His Words Was Played Yesterday:

On the first day of DR. CONRAD MURRAY'S manslaughter trial, prosecutors played audio that Dr. Murray had recorded of a supposedly drugged MICHAEL JACKSON slurring his words . . . badly. --Yesterday, they played more of it. In the expanded clip, Michael talks about one of his favorite subjects . . . not having a childhood. --He says, quote, "My performances will be up there helping my children and always be my dream. I love them. I love them because I didn't have a childhood. I had no childhood. I feel their pain. I feel their hurt. I can deal with it. --"'Heal the World', 'We Are the World', 'Will You Be There' and 'The Lost Children'. These are the songs I've written because I hurt. You know, I hurt." --At the end of the recording, Dr. Murray asks, quote, "Are you okay?" And Michael responds, quote, "I am asleep." (--You can listen to it here.) --This audio was recorded about six weeks before Michael died. It was recovered when authorities seized Dr. Murray's cell phone. --Prosecutors also played a voicemail message from the phone. It was from Michael's manager, Frank DiLeo, who says, quote, "I'm sure you're aware Michael had an episode last night." --He adds, quote, "He's sick . . . I think you need to get a blood test on him. We gotta see what he's doing." Here, it sounds like DiLeo is suggesting Michael had a drug problem. --The message was recorded five days before Michael's death. (--Here's audio.)





The Black Eyed Peas Have Bowed Out of the Michael Jackson Tribute Show:

We were kind of expecting stuff like this to happen: THE BLACK EYED PEAS have bowed out of the MICHAEL JACKSON tribute show that's going down Saturday in Wales. Apparently, they had some issues with the promoter. --Still scheduled to perform are Cee-Lo Green, Christina Aguilera, Smokey Robinson, Alien Ant Farm, Jennifer Hudson, Gladys Knight and Beyoncé, who'll appear via satellite.


NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND

What Will You Go See This Weekend? Hugh Jackman's "Real Steel" or George Clooney's "The Ides of March":

#1.) "Real Steel" (PG-13)

This is like "Rocky" . . . but for robots. Hugh Jackman plays a former boxer who lost his shot at the title when human boxing died out and was replaced with robot fighters. Now he barely gets by, promoting underground fights with bots he's cobbled together. -But after his son convinces him to teach a sparring bot all his moves they get a real shot at a championship fight. "Lost's" Evangeline Lilly plays Jackman's ex-girlfriend. (Trailer) (--You probably remember a similar "Twilight Zone" episode called "Steel", where Lee Marvin's bot takes so much damage that Marvin disguises himself as the robot and fights in its place. You can stream that classic episode for FREE at Amazon.com.)


#2.) "The Ides of March" (R)

Ryan Gosling plays a staffer on George Clooney's presidential campaign, whose loyalties are tested when he gets involved in some sort of scandal. The movie was directed by Clooney, and the rest of the cast includes Philip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei, Paul Giamatti, and Evan Rachel Wood. (Trailer)


Clint Eastwood Will Act Again:

CLINT EASTWOOD said that "Gran Torino" would probably be his last acting gig. Turns out that wasn't true. --Clint will star in a movie called "Trouble With the Curve". It's about an aging baseball scout who goes on a road trip with his adult daughter. Eastwood will NOT direct it. --Clint was getting set to direct BEYONCÉ in a new version of "A Star Is Born" until she took another gig . . . as JAY-Z'S BABY-MAMA. Now that movie is on hold, and Clint has time for one more turn in front of the camera.


Robert Downey Jr. Will Star in a New Version of "Perry Mason":

ROBERT DOWNEY JR. will star in a movie based on author Erle Stanley Gardner's "Perry Mason" books. --The books, about a brilliant defense attorney named . . . well . . . Perry Mason, were turned into a popular TV series that ran in the 1950s and '60s starring RAYMOND BURR. --He brought the character back in a series of TV movies that aired from 1985 until Burr's death in 1993. -The Downey movie will be set in the 1930s.


Eddie Cibrian Was Injured on the Set of "The Playboy Club":

EDDIE CIBRIAN was "rushed" to the hospital on Tuesday night, after suffering a serious injury on the set of his canceled TV show "The Playboy Club". --According to reports, Eddie was running down an alley when his foot somehow got caught under a 200-pound steel door. That caused a "deep gash" on his lower leg and foot, and he needed to get stitches. --The good news is: Eddie's fine. His rep says, quote, "He is doing OK." --If you're wondering why they're still filming "The Playboy Club" when NBC canceled it, it's because they're hoping it'll get picked up by another network. --Speaking of that, HUGH HEFNER doesn't think the show should've been on NBC in the first place. He says, quote, "I'm sorry NBC's 'The Playboy Club' didn't find its audience. It should've been on cable, aimed at a more adult audience."


Eddie Murphy Is Not Coming Back to "SNL" . . . Yet:

There was a rumor going around that EDDIE MURPHY would have a cameo on "Saturday Night Live" this weekend. This would be a surprise because when Eddie left "SNL" in 1984 it was NOT on good terms. --But Eddie isn't coming back . . . at least not yet. His publicist says, quote, "Mr. Murphy is not planning on returning to 'Saturday Night Live' at this time."


Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)


--"The X Factor" [Boot Camp - Round 2] . . . 8:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox.


--"The Office" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on NBC. (--The warehouse employees win the lottery and all quit, leaving the office staff to hire some new warehouse employees.)


--"Grey's Anatomy" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--The ER is flooded with characters when there is a stampede at a comic book convention.)


--"George Harrison: Living In the Material World" [Part 2 of 2] . . . 9:00 to 10:35 P.M. on HBO.


--"American Underworld" [1st Season Finale]. . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery.


--"Angels Among Us" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CMT.


--"The Mentalist" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Kelli Williams guest stars as a former client of Jane's who asks him for help finding her kidnapped son.)


--"Gabriel Iglesias Presents Stand-Up Revolution" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--Comedians Alfred Robles and Rick Gutierrez perform. Music Guest: Ozomatli.)


--"The League" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on FX. (--Seth Rogen guest stars as Rafi's friend, Dirty Randy.)


Jani Lane Died from Alcohol Poisoning:

The L.A. Coroner's Office has wrapped up its investigation into the death of former WARRANT singer JANI LANE . . . and the conclusion, not surprisingly, is that he died from alcohol poisoning. --Jani struggled with substance abuse for years . . . and investigators reportedly found a half-empty bottle of vodka and prescription medication next to his body. Jani was found dead in an L.A. motel room back on August 11th.
Paul McCartney Believes The Beatles Would Have Reunited If John Lennon and George Harrison Were Still Around:

In an interview in Britain's "Daily Express" tabloid, PAUL MCCARTNEY says he believes THE BEATLES would have reunited if they'd all lived long enough to make it happen. --He explains, quote, "If JOHN [LENNON] and GEORGE [HARRISON] were still here, it's highly likely we would've had a Beatles reunion. I think we would've mellowed to the point where we would've said, 'Come on, let's do it.'" --That being said, Paul says he and John ALMOST reunited in 1976 . . . when "Saturday Night Live" boss LORNE MICHAELS offered to pay them to perform on "SNL". --Paul says, quote, "I was at John's place and 'Saturday Night Live' was on, and John said to me 'Have you seen this? . . . They're offering us money to get back together.' --"And John said, 'We should go down, just you and me. We'll show up. There's only two of us, [so] we'll take half the money.'" --So why didn't it happen? They got LAZY. Paul explains, quote, "For a second we were like, 'Shall we do it?' I don't know what stopped us. [But] it would've been work, and we were having a night off . . . so we elected not to go to work. --"It was a nice idea. We nearly did it." --One last thing: Paul would like to remind everyone that it was John's decision to break up the Beatles. Or John's decision . . . with maybe some nudging from YOKO ONO. Apparently, some people didn't realize that. --He says, quote, "I certainly had wanted us to keep going, but John certainly didn't. He'd found Yoko and they were into a new thing, which turned out to be a great thing for them. For the rest of us, it was [like], 'Hmm, what are we going to do now?' . . . --"People actually thought I was the one who'd broken the Beatles up when I was the one trying to keep it together . . . it would've been great to go on forever." --Obviously, stuff like that makes everyone think "WHAT IF?" And Paul understands. He says, quote, "I'm not a great believer in 'What If?' You can't do it . . . but I suppose it's nice to speculate."


Bob Dylan Is in the Running for a Nobel Prize for Literature:

BOB DYLAN is in the running to land a Nobel Prize for literature, and according to reports he's the, quote, "odds-on favorite" to get it. --He's up against Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami . . . Ian McEwan, who wrote "Atonement" . . . Michael Ondaatje, who wrote "The English Patient" . . . and a Syrian poet named Adonis, among others. --In addition to his music, Dylan has written a memoir called "Chronicles: Volume One", which was released in 2004. There are supposed to be two more volumes on the way, but that's the only one that's out so far. --He also wrote an "experimental novel" titled "Tarantula". It was first published in 1971, but Bob wrote it in the mid-'60s. --The winner will be announced sometime TODAY. (--So it's probably worth Googling to see if there's any news yet.)


Justin Bieber's Christmas Album Will Include a Duet with Mariah Carey:

JUSTIN BIEBER'S Christmas album "Under the Mistletoe" will include a duet with MARIAH CAREY. They're singing a new version of her holiday song, "All I Want for Christmas Is You". (--Did Mariah not have time to learn something new?) --Mariah made a video to "announce" that she's appearing on Justin's album, and posted it on Twitter.


President Obama Describes Meeting Lady Gaga As "Intimidating":

PRESIDENT OBAMA met LADY GAGA at an event in California last week. (--This was the meeting where Lady Gaga shared her concerns about bullying.) --Well, there are many adjectives the President could use to describe that moment: Strange, bizarre, weird, uncomfortable, sensationalized, over-hyped, pointless, "nice" and / or "interesting." --But he chose a different one. He went with, quote, "intimidating." --Fortunately, he was just kidding around. He said, quote, "She was wearing 16-inch heels. She was 8 feet tall. It was a little intimidating." --Obama was speaking at a Human Rights Campaign event, which included gay and lesbian advocates. Also referring to his chat with Lady Gaga, Obama joked, quote, "I held some productive bilateral talks with your leader."


Lady Gaga Wears a See-Through Top; Gets Her Own Lifetime Movie:

LADY GAGA was in London yesterday . . . wearing a see-through top out in public. She wasn't wearing a bra, but her naughty bits were covered by a non-see-through rose pattern. (--Here's a picture.) (Us Magazine) --By the way, Lifetime is developing a made-for-TV movie based on Lady Gaga's life. It's already got a super creative title . . . "Fame Monster: The Lady Gaga Story" . . . but that's all we have on it for now.
J. Cole Debuted at #1 on the "Billboard" Chart:

Six new albums landed in the "Billboard" Top 10 this week, but rapper J. COLE came out on top. His debut album, "Cole World: The Sideline Story", sold 218,000 copies in its first week of release to finish at #1. --He beat out BLINK-182 by over 60,000 copies. Blink is back after a nearly eight-year hiatus and their new album "Neighborhoods" took the runner-up slot with 151,000 copies sold. Here's this week's Top 10 . . .

1.) (NEW) "Cole World: The Sideline Story", J. Cole (218,000 copies)

2.) (NEW) "Neighborhoods", Blink-182 (151,000 copies)

3.) "21", Adele (118,000 copies)

4.) "Duets 2", Tony Bennett (91,000 copies)

5.) (NEW) "The Whole Love", Wilco (82,000 copies)

6.) "Own the Night", Lady Antebellum (75,000 copies)

7.) "Tha Carter IV", Lil Wayne (68,000 copies)

8.) (NEW) "Vice Verses", Switchfoot (45,000 copies)

9.) (NEW) "Chickenfoot 3", Chickenfoot (42,000 copies)

10.) (NEW) "The Hunter", Mastodon (39,000 copies)


Other Chart Randoms You May Or May Not Care About:

--Pink Floyd's reissue of "Dark Side of the Moon" sold 26,000 copies. (#12)

--The 20th anniversary reissue of Nirvana's "Nevermind" moved 25,000 copies. (#13)

--Jason Derulo's second album, "Future History", sold 13,000 copies. (#29)


Taylor Swift's Next Album Will Have "Sad" Songs . . . And the Dress She Wore In That Perfume Ad Is Flying Off The Shelves:

There's no doubt TAYLOR SWIFT is a talented songwriter. Which is good, because that's how she defines herself. She tells the "New Yorker", quote, "I write songs, and my voice is just a way to get those lyrics across." --Taylor knows she needs to grow as an artist if she wants to stay relevant. She says, quote, "Retrospect will tell a lot. Years from now, I'll look back and go, 'I didn't know anything then'. --"I had this song called 'Picture to Burn' that's talking about how 'I hate your truck' and 'I hate that you ignored me,' 'I hate you.' Now, the way that I would say that and the way that I would feel that kind of pain is a lot different." --The more mature Taylor is moving away from the "fluffy" writing. She's written 10 new songs, which she describes as, quote, "They're sad, if I'm being honest. (They're) about achieving contentment . . . you're not always going to be ridiculously happy." (--One more thing about Taylor. Her Wonderstruck fragrance campaign is selling more than perfume. It's making bank for fashion designer Christian Siriano, the dude who designed the dress Taylor wears in the ads.) (--His design team can barely make the gowns fast enough to keep up with demand. He says, quote, "I have orders all day long on that dress." Here's a video of Taylor pimping the perfume. And here's a photo of the dress.)
THURSDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


ZAC EFRON was partying at a club in Chicago, when the son of a Russian billionaire spotted him. He sent a $100,000 BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE to Zac's table. (Full Story)



Portland Trailblazers star MARCUS CAMBY will NOT be prosecuted for being caught with less than two ounces of pot in his car. Prosecutors said the evidence only implicated Camby's PASSENGER. (Full Story)



Ex-Dodger MILTON BRADLEY and his wife have both filed for divorce . . . after Milton was arrested last month for swinging a baseball bat at her. (Full Story)



CHUBBY CHECKER claims he's responsible for inspiring MUHAMMAD ALI'S now legendary trash-talking. (Full Story)



SEAN PENN was in Libya yesterday, where he praised the people for their efforts to remove MUAMMAR GADDAFI from power. (Full Story)


"Daily Show" host JON STEWART and "Family Guy" creator SETH MACFARLANE have been feuding for several years. (Full Story)



RIHANNA'S "We Found Love" has just entered the Top 10 on Billboard's Hot 100 chart. It's her 20th song to make it into the Top 10 . . . and she achieved that feat faster than any other solo artist. She did it in six years and four months, which beats MADONNA, who did it in six years and nine months. (Full Story)



KELLY CLARKSON has unleashed her new single, "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)". (Audio, from her official website) It'll be on her new album "Stronger", which comes out October 24th.



THE CRANBERRIES . . . you know, ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE! . . . have announced that they're releasing a new album on Valentine's Day. It's called "Roses". (--See what they did there?) (Full Story) (--It'll be their first new album in a decade. By the way, the track list for this album does NOT include "Zombie", which I think is a HUGE mistake.)



A.C. Nielsen Jr. . . . from Nielsen, the TV ratings company . . . died on Monday. He was 92. (Full Story)
STEVE JOBS (1955 - 2011)

Steve Jobs Lost His Battle With Pancreatic Cancer Yesterday and Died At Age 56:

STEVE JOBS lost his battle with cancer yesterday, and passed away at his home. He was 56. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2004, and resigned as CEO of Apple on August 24th, when his health problems kept him from running the company.

--When such a major public figure dies, it usually leads to a lot of exaggeration: People heap on lavish praise and compete to out-do each other. But the weird thing about Steve Jobs is, it's difficult to overstate his legacy.

--He was a genius and a visionary who revolutionized computers through Apple . . . movies through Pixar . . . music through the iPod and iTunes . . . and mobile communication with the iPhone and the iPad.

--He will also go down as the man who led the single greatest business turnaround of ALL TIME. He was forced out of Apple in 1985, and came back in 1996 when the company was about to be sold or go under.

--In the 15 years since then, he turned Apple into THE most valuable consumer brand in the world. And this year, Apple even briefly passed ExxonMobil as the most valuable company in the world.

--In a commencement speech at Stanford in 2005, he told the class, quote, "Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do."

--Jobs is survived by his wife, Laurene, who he's been with for 20 years, and four children.

(--Here's a retrospective of his life in pictures.)


A Timeline of Steve Jobs' Most Impressive Accomplishments:

--1955. STEVE JOBS is born in San Francisco to a Syrian Muslim grad student named Abdulfattah, and an American classmate. They put him up for adoption.


--1972. He drops out of his first semester of college in Portland, Oregon, earns money by returning Coke bottles, and scores free meals at the local Hare Krishna temple.


--1974 - 1975. He quits his first job at Atari to backpack across India, take psychedelic drugs, convert to Buddhism, and shave his head . . . experiences that he credits with shaping his creative vision.


--1976. STEVE JOBS and STEVE WOZNIAK form Apple Computers and build their first personal computer . . . in Jobs' parents' garage.


--1977. Apple releases the Apple Two, which becomes the first widely-used personal computer in the world.


--1980. Apple goes public. After one day of trading, Jobs is worth $239 MILLION. He's 25 years old.


--1983. Apple announces "Lisa," the first computer to be controlled using a MOUSE. It fails. The mouse will go on to become a vital part of basically every computer made in the next 28 years.


--1984. Apple launches the Macintosh, a desktop computer with the screen built in. One year later, Jobs would leave Apple.





--1986. Jobs buys Pixar Animation Studios for $10 MILLION. In 1995 they release "Toy Story", the first movie made entirely with computer animation. It changes animation forever. When Pixar goes public, Jobs becomes a billionaire.


--1996. With Apple dying and about to be sold or killed off, Jobs returns, and becomes CEO. He takes a salary of $1.


--1998. Apple releases the iMac. It becomes the fastest-selling personal computer ever. Apple immediately returns to being profitable and makes money for four quarters in a row.


--2001. Apple introduces their first retail store and releases the iPod. There are now 357 Apple Stores. The iPod would capture more than a 75% market share and turned out to be the device that finally led digital music past the CD era.


--2003. Apple launches the iTunes music store. This began the transition away from illegal digital music downloading and toward people LEGALLY listening to music again.


--2007. Apple introduces the iPhone, the first phone with a touchscreen and no keyboard. It revolutionized the cell phone industry.


--2010. Apple introduces the iPad . . . a device no one even knew they needed until they tried one. Apple now has at least an 80% share of the tablet market and they're used at 92% of Fortune 500 companies.


--2011. Apple . . . the company Jobs started in his parents' garage . . . is briefly the world's most valuable company. On August 9th, for a few hours, Apple's market cap hit $342 BILLION while ExxonMobil's was at $341 BILLION.


--That same summer, Apple lists more cash reserves than the U.S. Treasury.



Here's What People are Saying About Steve Jobs:


--Apple. "Steve's brilliance, passion and energy were the source of countless innovations that enrich and improve all of our lives. The world is immeasurably better because of Steve."


--New Apple CEO Tim Cook. "No words can adequately express our sadness at Steve's death or our gratitude for the opportunity to work with him. We will honor his memory by dedicating ourselves to continuing the work he loved so much."


--President Obama. "Michelle and I are saddened to learn of the passing of Steve Jobs. Steve was among the greatest of American innovators, brave enough to think differently, bold enough to believe he could change the world, and talented enough to do it."


--Bill Gates. "For those of us lucky enough to get to work with Steve, it's been an insanely great honor. I will miss Steve immensely."


--Google co-founder Sergey Brin. "From the earliest days of Google, whenever Larry and I sought inspiration for vision and leadership, we needed to look no farther than Cupertino. Steve, your passion for excellence is felt by anyone who has ever touched an Apple product."


--Mark Zuckerberg. "Steve, thank you for being a mentor and a friend. Thanks for showing that what you build can change the world. I will miss you."


--Steven Spielberg. "Steve Jobs was the greatest inventor since Thomas Edison. He put the world at our fingertips."


--George Lucas. "The magic of Steve was that while others simply accepted the status quo, he saw the true potential in everything he touched and never compromised on that vision."


--Arnold Schwarzenegger. "Steve lived the California Dream every day of his life and he changed the world and inspired all of us."


--Ellen DeGeneres. "He was an amazing man with an incredible vision. He changed the world."


--Jimmy Fallon. "Thank you, Steve Jobs, for all of the fun and amazing ways you made our lives better . . . Sent from my iPhone."


--Eli Roth. "You guys, I'm sad about Steve Jobs but SteveJobs2 comes out in like a month." (--I feel bad for laughing at that. There's always one guy who has to say something like this, right?)

(--Check out a ton of other 'celebrity' messages here and here, including visionaries like Ashton Kutcher, Kevin Smith, Alyssa Milano, Lavar Burton, Ricky Martin, Richard Simmons, Paris Hilton, and Ralph Macchio.)


RANDOM STUFFF

People Will Spend an Average of $280 on Their Halloween Parties This Year:

Even in a bad economy, people will be DAMNED if their Halloween parties don't have sweet decorations, tons of food, and copious amounts of alcohol. --According to a new survey, the average person throwing a Halloween party will spend at least $280. --Although that's less than people will spend on New Year's Eve and Christmas parties. The average person this year will spend $300 on a New Year's party and $480 on a Christmas or holiday party. --Party spending goes up by age. For Halloween, people 18-to-34 average $160 on their parties . . . people 35-to-54 average $320 . . . and people 55 and over will spend $450. --86% of people say they'll spend at least as much on this year's Halloween party as they did last year. 90% will spend as much on Christmas, and 91% will spend as much on New Year's. --Of those people, 45% plan to spend more this year than last year. --Overall, Americans will spend at least $3 BILLION on parties for those three holidays this year. (PR Newswire)


When Women and Men Eat Together, Women Order Less Food and Men Order More:

Sharing a meal with someone of the opposite sex affects how much we food we get . . . and it affects men and women in opposite ways. --Researchers from Indiana University of Pennsylvania and the University of Akron watched people in campus dining halls and kept track of how much food they ordered . . . and who they ate with. --They found that when men were eating with women, they ordered MORE food than they did when eating with other guys. --When women were eating with guys, they ordered LESS food than when they were eating with just the girls. --There's one major flaw: They only looked at how much food each person ORDERED . . . not whether they actually ATE it. So if a guy bought lunch for his girlfriend and brought it to her, he'd get credit for two meals, and she didn't get any credit. --The conclusion the researchers drew is that men don't want to come off as light eaters in front of women, because it would make them seem less manly. Women don't want to look like big eaters in front of guys. --Marcia Cottingham co-authored the study. She said, quote, "You're more aware of gender when you're with the opposite gender and may want to prove your gender more." (--Okay, got it . . . gender.) --Another theory suggested by the authors was that women focus on the social aspect of a meal when eating with the opposite sex . . . while guys just want to eat. (ABC News)
91% of Employers Now Check Out Potential Hires on Facebook . . . and 69% Have Rejected Someone Based on What They Found:

If you're in the process of applying for jobs, you should probably head to Facebook RIGHT NOW and untag all those photos that show you mostly naked, standing on a table, drinking a margarita out of a giant bucket. --At this point, almost EVERY company will check your Facebook when you apply for a job. --In a study by a company called Reppler that helps scrub embarrassing and damaging stuff from your social media sites, 91% of employers now screen Facebook and other social media sites. --And 69% say they've rejected someone based on what they found on those sites. --The main reason people get rejected is that their Facebook exposes a LIE on their resume about their qualifications. --Inappropriate photos, inappropriate comments, negative comments about old employers, and poor communication skills have also sunk people's job prospects. --BUT . . . all that being said, 68% of companies also say that what they saw on Facebook has helped them HIRE someone. --39% say that they got a positive impression of someone's personality and their fit into the company from Facebook or Twitter. 36% say that they hired someone because their profile showed they were creative. (Forbes)


Time to Debunk a Facebook Hoax . . . People are Not Putting Nails Inside of Cheese at Dog Parks:

In the past week, you may've seen some of your Facebook friends posting a photo of some cheese cubes with NAILS stuck in them. --The idea is that there's a NEW TREND in dog parks . . . where a-holes leave nail-filled cheese cubes around to hurt sweet, innocent dogs. --Well, good news. It's a HOAX. The photo comes from a report out of Buenos Aires, Argentina back in July . . . and there have been NO REPORTS of anyone doing this anywhere in the U.S. --And hopefully, all the sheeple reposting the photo of the nail-filled cheese cubes doesn't backfire . . . and give some horrible people the idea to actually go do this. (ZDNet) (--Here's a screen capture of the photo posted on Facebook.)


For the Fifth Year in a Row, the Dallas Cowboys are America's Favorite Football Team:

Even though they haven't won the Super Bowl since CLINTON'S first term, somehow America still can't get over the Dallas Cowboys --For the fifth year in a row, and the eighth time since 1998, the Dallas Cowboys placed number one in the annual Harris Poll of America's favorite NFL teams. --For the poll, the people at Harris ask for people's TWO favorite teams. So it seems like people usually vote for their longtime favorite team . . . and then a winning team where they've hopped on the bandwagon. --For example, after the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl, they jumped from the 24th most popular team in 2009 to the FIFTH most popular in 2010. Then, last year they got embarrassed in the playoffs, and now they're down to 11th. --After Dallas, the rest of the top five most popular NFL teams are the Pittsburgh Steelers, Green Bay Packers, New England Patriots, and Chicago Bears. --The Indianapolis Colts are sixth, but now that they're bad, expect them to plummet next year. --For the third year in a row, and the sixth time in seven years, the Jacksonville Jaguars were the least popular NFL team. They finished just below the Cincinnati Bengals, Kansas City Chiefs, Buffalo Bills, and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. --The survey also found that 55% of Americans follow professional football . . . which is a HUGE number. That includes 71% of men and 41% of women. (Harris Interactive) (--Check out all 32 team ranks here and call Harris at 212-539-9600.)


"Sporting News" Ranked the 271 Best Sports Cities in the U.S.:

The "Sporting News" just released their list of the BEST SPORTS CITIES in the U.S., ranking 271 cities from the summer of 2010 through this past summer in categories like number of teams, wins and losses, championships, and attendance. --And thanks mainly to the Dallas Mavericks winning the NBA championship for the first time, the Texas Rangers in the MLB playoffs, and America's never-ending love for the Cowboys . . . Dallas-Fort Worth ranked number one. -It beat out Boston, which came in second. The Boston Bruins won the Stanley Cup last year, and the Celtics, Red Sox, and Patriots all had strong years. --This survey didn't include what happened in September, so the epic Red Sox collapse that kept them out of this year's playoffs wasn't included. --Philadelphia came in third, on the strength of the Phillies and the Eagles . . . Chicago is fourth, thanks to the Bulls and Bears . . . and New York is fifth, because it has eight billion teams and some of them are always going to do pretty well. --On the other end of the list, the 271st and last-place city is . . . Lorman, in southwest Mississippi. That's a tiny community that's the home of Alcorn State University. Last year they finished 5-6 in football and 4-24 in basketball. (Sporting News) (--Check out the list of all 271 cities here.)


Police Let Drivers Off with a Warning Three Out of Five Times . . . but Six Out of Seven Drivers Admit They're Guilty:

One in six Americans has face-to-face contact with a police officer each year. --The Bureau of Justice Statistics does a survey every three years, and just released the data for 2008. About 40 million Americans had contact with a cop that year. --That was a drop of more than 20% from previous years. More than 45 million people had face time with a cop in both 2002 and 2005. --Most of the drop is due to fewer people meeting police officers when they report a crime. That's the second-most-common reason that people meet the police, and it fell from 12 million people in 2002 to 8 million in 2008.--The most COMMON reason to meet a cop, of course, is because you've just been pulled over. One in 12 drivers say they've been pulled over . . . which actually seems kinda low. --Surprisingly, five out of six drivers who were stopped now admit that the officer was justified in pulling them over. --Even though most drivers ADMIT they were doing something wrong, police only issued tickets to 55% of the people they stopped. They arrested another 3%. --That means that police let the driver off with a warning TWO out of every FIVE times they stopped someone.--About one out of every 70 people who encountered a police officer in 2008 say the cop either used force against them or threatened to. Three in four say the force was excessive. (PR Newswire)


Stupid Photo of the Day: Who Would Get in a Hot Tub Dangling From a Bridge, 500 Feet Above the Ground?

We've got a few photos of a group of people in Switzerland. And they are, officially, IDIOTS. They do something called "EXTREME JACUZZI." --In this case, they dangled a hot tub off the Gueuroz Bridge in Switzerland, 130 feet below the bridge and 500 feet above the ground . . . and then hung out in it. They all survived . . . but WHY DO THIS? (Daily Mail) (--Check out the photos here.)


That Rapture Guy is Back, and Has Officially Rescheduled the Apocalypse for October 21st:

Remember HAROLD CAMPING? He's the 90-year-old evangelist who predicted that the Rapture was going to come back on May 21st . . . and then was, quote, "flabbergasted" when it didn't? --Well, he's back. And he's officially rescheduled the end of the world for . . . October 21st. So use up all your gift cards in the next two weeks, ok? --After the May apocalypse prediction flopped, Camping explained that the Rapture DID start then . . . but very quietly. And now, six months later, the BIG event is going to happen and we're all going to be wiped out. --He DOES still have quite a bit of credibility, so please begin your preparations for the world to end two weeks from Friday accordingly. (Christian Post)


MEATBALL CRIMINALS

A Man Leaves His Armed Robbery Trial For Lunch . . . and Robs a Jewelry Store:

Last week, Mark Burgin of Franklin, Tennessee was on trial for robbing a man at KNIFEPOINT at a truck stop back in 2009. --On Thursday afternoon, the trial broke for lunch, and Mark left the courthouse to grab something to eat. --At least that's what he SAID he was doing. He actually went to a jewelry store down the street from the courthouse, and stole $45,000 worth of merchandise. Yes, he did that during his robbery trial's LUNCH BREAK. --This time, it wasn't armed robbery . . . he just grabbed a bunch of stuff and took off. --The cops quickly realized it was Mark, but didn't say anything about it to potentially taint the jury in his robbery case. --On Friday, he was found guilty of the truck stop robbery. And THEN, right after the verdict, he was arrested for the jewelry store robbery. --He's now facing theft charges. (The Tennessean)


NOT-SO-STUPID NEWS

Women are Six Times More Likely Than Men to Get Dumped After They're Diagnosed With Cancer:

--According to a new study by the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, a woman is SIX TIMES more likely than a man to get DUMPED after she's diagnosed with cancer --The same statistic applied to people who were diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Women were six times more likely than men to get dumped after the diagnosis. --Dr. Marc Chamberlain led the study. He says, quote, "We did find women who had abandoned male partners, but the differences were striking. There [were] a disproportionate number of partner abandonments in female patients." --He also says this study makes men look like, quote, "bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking creatures" . . . but he thinks it happens because, quote, "men are equipped to be primary providers but not primary caregivers. --"I think men are challenged in caring for someone who has disease- and treatment-related symptoms. Managing the stress, managing the logistics." --Also . . . he pointed out that although women are six times more likely to get dumped than men, the, quote, "vast majority" of men don't leave their wives after a cancer or MS diagnosis. (AOL)
They Finally Tested Texting and Driving in Actual Cars, and it Doubles the Length of Your Reaction Time . . . Even If You're Just Reading One:

The Texas Transportation Institute studied the reaction times of distracted drivers . . . and it was the first time that the effect of texting on reaction time has been measured in ACTUAL cars, instead of driving simulators. --Not surprisingly, they found that drivers who were texting took twice as long to hit the brakes. Nothing new there, right? But check this out: Just READING a text counts. --Drivers who weren't distracted by their phones took between one and two seconds to respond. People who were also texting took three or four --And it didn't matter whether drivers were typing a message or just reading one. It still took them twice as long to respond. -If you're driving 30 miles an hour, texting means it would take you an extra 110 feet to stop. At 60 miles per hour, it would take 220 extra feet. --Drivers who were busy texting were also 11 times more likely to completely miss the light signaling them to stop. (Washington Post)


RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


Remember that movie "Open Water"? Check this out . . . a tourism company in Florida accidentally DID leave two divers behind on a scuba trip. They were rescued a few hours later by a private yacht, clinging to a buoy in shark-infested waters. (Full Story)



Women read online reviews, men don't. Women are 36% more likely to check reviews before shopping online. Men are 22% more likely to think reviews are unimportant. (Full Story)



A Papa John's pizza delivery guy turned in a customer who was high on weed. (Full Story)



A mother called police after her 18-year-old son refused to clean his room and put his pants on . . . and they arrested him? (Full Story)



Two people broke into a guy's house and stole his child pornography stash, thinking they were blank CDs. When they tried to record on them and discovered the pornography, they turned themselves AND the guy into the police. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A Dog Looked at a Picture of Julia Roberts . . . and Ran Out of the Room:

JULIA ROBERTS has been at the top of "People" magazine's 'Most Beautiful' list four times in the last 20 years. --But apparently she's only attractive to humans, because there's a video on YouTube where a guy shows his DOG a magazine ad where Julia's face takes up the whole page . . . and the dog doesn't like it. --It actually happens twice: The first time, it just leaves the room. But then it comes back, looks at the picture again, and RUNS OFF. (--Search for "Dog Afraid of Julia Roberts." It happens at :09 and :27.)


#2.) And Now . . . Outtakes from the Hank Williams Jr. Apology Video:

There's a new HANK WILLIAMS JR. parody on FunnyOrDie.com. It's supposed to be outtakes of Hank apologizing for comparing Obama to Hitler. But he keeps trying to explain himself . . . and can't stop making more Hitler comments. (--Search for "FunnyOrDie.com Hank Williams Jr. Apologizes." WARNING: This video includes the S-word and the D-word.)
#3.) UPDATE: The Guy Who Smeared Dog Poop on an Inconsiderate Dog Owner Was Dressed Up Like a Superhero:

You know the video of the guy punishing a dog owner for not picking up after his dog . . . by SMEARING it on him? Well, it turns out there's more footage of it. And get this: The guy who did the smearing was dressed up like a SUPERHERO. --The first video was from a helmet-cam, but there's a second video on YouTube that shows it from about 25 feet away . . . and he's wearing a whole outfit, including a helmet, tights, and a CAPE. --It turns out he's some guy in the Czech Republic who has his own website for the character called SuperVaclav.cz. The website isn't in English, but here's the translation of what's on the homepage: --It says, quote, "I am Super Vaclav, and I decided to take action against the indifference and hypocrisy in society. I'm tired of just watching what is happening around us." (--Search for "Meet Super Vaclav part 1.")


#4.) A Kids Band Played Metallica's "Enter Sandman" at a Beer Festival . . . and ROCKED It:

I think we've officially found the coolest kids in the world: There's a new video online of a bunch of eight to ten-year-olds paying METALLICA'S "Enter Sandman" at a beer festival. And for kids, they can play. --They're called "The Mini Band," and the girl guitarist does a sweet solo about two-and-a-half minutes in. (--Search for "Enter Sandman Metallica by The Mini Band." The solo is at 2:34.)


Three Dating Clichés That Are Backed Up by Science:

Researchers spend a lot of time just trying to prove things we already know about ourselves. --For example, scientists have proven that men prefer younger women because they subconsciously seem more fertile. And women prefer older men because they usually have more money and status, which makes them seem like a safer bet. --And the stereotype might actually be good in ways. Because psychologists in Finland found that men who married women who were 14.6 years younger ended up having the highest number of healthy offspring. --Here's a list from Match.com of three more dating clichés that are backed up by science.


#1.) You Shouldn't Have Sex on the First Date. If you're looking for a long-term relationship, it's probably true.

--That's according to . . . well, your mom . . . but also a 2009 study done in London where researchers used a mathematical model to look at the "good" and "bad" characteristics of men in relationships. --And it's obvious, but men who were willing to wait for sex were usually more "reliable" in the long run. --That doesn't mean having sex on the first date MAKES a guy less reliable. A reliable guy just won't TRY to sex you up . . . at least not until date two.

#2.) Women Still Think the Guy Should Pay for Dinner. Obviously, times are changing and not everyone agrees on it anymore. But one study found that women who consider themselves ATTRACTIVE are more likely to EXPECT it. --And researchers at St. Andrews University in Scotland found that most men WANT to pay, because they subconsciously think it makes them look like a good provider.

#3.) Men Enjoy Casual Sex More Than Women. In at study at Durham University in England, 2,000 men and women talked about recent one-night stands. --And while 80% of the men had positive feelings about what happened, only 54% of the women did. Women were more likely to feel guilty and say things like, "I let myself down." (Match.com)