NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

A BRIDE IN CHINA SET A NEW WORLD RECORD BY WEARING A WEDDING DRESS WITH A 1.4-MILE LONG TRAIN:

Yesterday, 28-year-old Zhao Peng and 25-year-old Lin Rong got married in Beijing, China. But Zhao and Lin didn't want a "normal" wedding like everybody else.

No, they wanted to do something special (--and dare I say, asinine) to draw unnecessary attention to themselves . . . --Lin set a new world record by wearing a wedding dress with a train that was 1.4 MILES long. (!!!) (Yahoo News)

(--Check out some photos of Lin's ridiculous wedding dress here . . .)

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A GUY ON DIALYSIS WITH NO FUNCTIONING KIDNEYS JUST FINISHED A 4,600-MILE CROSS-COUNTRY BIKE RIDE:

When Shad Ireland was just ten years old, he was forced to start dialysis after both his kidneys failed . . . and by the time he was 20, doctors gave him only SIX MONTHS to live.

But last week, 37-year-old Shad did something that most of us with two functional kidneys could NEVER even dream of: He completed a 4,639-mile cross-country bike ride.

Shad says, quote, "For me to be on dialysis for 27 years, for me to do two triathlons, has really got the medical community scratching their heads. If you asked any doctor, if you told them about me, they would say it's impossible."

(--If you're wondering how Shad managed to ride his bike cross-country while on dialysis, it seems he took time off every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to undergo four-hour dialysis treatments. Is it just me, or is this guy a BEAST?) (ABC News)

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A NAKED GUY BROKE A BURGLAR'S JAW BY HITTING HIM WITH A BASEBALL BAT:

On Wednesday, 28-year-old Tim Maynard of Jackson, Michigan was woken up by his wife, Becky, who said she heard someone inside their house.

So, without even bothering to get dressed, Tim grabbed a baseball bat and went to go check while Becky called 911.

Anyway, Tim says he wasn't planning on hurting anyone, but when the burglar walked into the bedroom, Tim whacked him upside the head with the bat . . . and broke his jaw.

Tim says, quote, "At the beginning I was frightened. I didn't believe what was happening. Once I knew what he was doing, I knew I had to do everything to protect my family. "I wasn't like in a rage. I just wanted him out of my house and away from my family. Life is really fragile. Our safety is really fragile, and that is a sobering thought."

A few minutes later, the police showed up and arrested the thief in a neighbor's backyard. He was taken to the hospital for treatment. (Jackson Citizen Patriot)

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IT TURNS OUT EXERCISE PROBABLY *WON'T* HELP YOU LOSE WEIGHT:

Ask just about anyone for weight loss advice, and their answer will almost certainly include getting lots of EXERCISE. But it turns out exercise probably WON'T help you shed those extra pounds. In fact, it might actually make it harder to lose weight.

At least that's according to an exercise researcher at Louisiana State University named Eric Ravussin who says, quote, "In general, for weight loss, exercise is pretty USELESS."

That's right. Useless. So what's Eric's logic? --Basically, exercise burns calories and that's good. But burning calories makes you hungry, and after exercising, people tend to eat MORE calories than they actually burned off working out.

In other words, if you really want to lose weight, you might be better off just sitting on the couch all day and watching TV. (Time / Jezebel)

Of course, by that logic, I should be thin as a rail and that's just not the case. So what should you really take from this? It seems that if you want to lose weight, you need to focus on both diet AND exercise. And, of course, you need to learn a little self-discipline and restraint.

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WANT TO SEE HOW MUCH SMOKING HAS SHORTENED YOUR LIFESPAN???

Curious how much your lifespan has been shortened by your smoking habit? On the AOL Health website, there's an online calculator which determines just how much smoking has shortened your lifespan, based on the understanding that each cigarette you smoke shortens your life by an average of 11 minutes. (AOL Health)

(--You can calculate how much smoking has shortened your lifespan here . . .) http://www.aolhealth.com/tools/smokings-impact-on-life-span

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (8-07-09)

"BREAKFAST CLUB" DIRECTOR JOHN HUGHES HAS DIED:

The SUMMER OF DEATH took a short break, but it's back. Director JOHN HUGHES . . . the man who DEFINED what teen movies were in the 1980s . . . died suddenly and unexpectedly yesterday. He was 59.

Hughes suffered a heart attack while taking a morning walk during a trip to Manhattan to visit family. --Hughes only directed EIGHT movies, but they were almost all classics.

They were:
--"Sixteen Candles", 1984 --"The Breakfast Club", 1985 --"Weird Science", 1985 --"Ferris Bueller's Day Off", 1986 --"Planes, Trains and Automobiles", 1987 --"She's Having a Baby", 1988 --"Uncle Buck", 1989 --"Curly Sue", 1991

Hughes wrote or co-wrote all of those movies. He also wrote or co-wrote tons of other movies, including the "Home Alone" movies, "Pretty In Pink", "National Lampoon's Vacation", "Mr. Mom", "Some Kind of Wonderful", "Beethoven", "Maid in Manhattan" and, most recently, 2008's "Drillbit Taylor".

Whether you consider this a positive or not, John Hughes was responsible for launching the careers of most of the so-called "Brat Packers". That list includes Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez, Jon Cryer, Ally Sheedy and Jennifer Grey. (--Even John and Joan Cusack have miniscule parts in "Sixteen Candles". John plays one of Anthony Michael Hall's geeky friends. Joan plays the chick in the neck brace.)

Then, of course, there was MACAULAY CULKIN . . . who got his big break with "Uncle Buck", then became a SUPERSTAR thanks to "Home Alone". --Even 1991's "Curly Sue" . . . not one of Hughes' most well-regarded flicks . . . has the distinction of having been STEVE CARELL'S first movie.

(--Here's a pretty cool montage of scenes from John Hughes movies that somebody posted on YouTube . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOkNIUw0c2s

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STEVEN TYLER WAS AIRLIFTED TO THE HOSPITAL AFTER FALLING OFF A STAGE ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT:

Yet another member of AEROSMITH has gone down with an injury. --On Wednesday night, singer STEVEN TYLER fell off the stage about halfway through a gig at the annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in Rapid City, South Dakota. --He was airlifted to a local hospital, and treated for minor injuries to his head, neck and shoulder.

What happened was that the sound system failed during "Love in an Elevator" . . . so Steven started dancing on a catwalk to entertain the crowd He twirled around and stepped backward, inadvertently falling off the stage, and onto a couple fans.

(--There IS video of this. You can find it at this link . . .)http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=ed2c697f-01cd-42d3-9dc0-796b744973ab

(--And here's a picture of Steven after the fall, with a BLOODY shoulder . . .)

Soon afterward, guitarist JOE PERRY announced that the show was over. --There's been no official update from the band . . . but Joe's wife, BILLIE PERRY, is Twittering about it. And she says Steven BROKE HIS SHOULDER. --Quote, "He hit his head and back. No concussion, stitches in head and back near shoulder. Broken shoulder. Yes he is very sore. We were all worried.

"Steven will see his own doctor tonight or tomorrow. No word on when [the tour] will resume . . . should know more very soon regarding this." (--If you want to check for updates, or if you just want to start "following" Joe Perry's wife . . . ??? . . . here's the link to her Twitter feed . . .)http://twitter.com/BilliePerry

Aerosmith was supposed to begin a short Canadian tour TONIGHT . . . but that gig, which was set to go down in Winnipeg, has already been postponed. The next show is scheduled for Sunday. There's no word on that one yet.

Look, I don't want to say that Aerosmith should hang it up . . . but they aren't 30 years old anymore. And I'm becoming concerned about their safety.)

Here's an Aerosmith medical recap: In February, they cancelled a show because Steven had an infection . . . and in March he went down with pneumonia. Last month, the band postponed seven shows after he ripped his leg muscle onstage.

Then, bassist TOM HAMILTON sat out due to a vague "non-invasive surgery." And guitarist BRAD WHITFORD missed the first two months of the tour. He had to have head surgery after injuring himself while exiting his Ferrari.

In the past two years, Steven has had throat and foot surgeries . . . and guitarist Joe Perry has had several surgeries, including a knee replacement last year. Due to complications, he had ANOTHER knee surgery in January.

I feel they have already seccured a nice spot in Rock History.. They have nothing more to prove..

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WILL THERE BE A MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE ALBUM???

The not-always-reliable British tabloids say that some of the biggest names in music will contribute to a MICHAEL JACKSON tribute album . . . with proceeds going to charity.

Participants will supposedly include Madonna, Beyoncé, Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder, Lionel Richie, Whitney Houston and Usher. Mariah will sing "I'll Be There", obviously . . . while Madonna may do either "Beat It" or "Billie Jean". (--Since this comes from the British tabloids, it's highly suspect. We'll let you know if we hear anything more.)

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"AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY

THE LATEST PAULA ABDUL / "AMERICAN IDOL" UPDATES:

The PAULA ABDUL / "American Idol" fallout is NOT over yet. Here's the latest: Fox Entertainment boss Peter Rice was at some press conference yesterday . . . and naturally, he spent most of the time answering questions about Paula's decision to walk away from "Idol". Here are some of the highlights . . .

He said that "Idol" is planning on sticking with the wildly popular four-judge format . . . (--which means you'll continue to miss the last five minutes of every episode, unless you remember to screw around with the settings on your DVR.)

So, they ARE looking for a permanent replacement for Paula, but they don't expect anything to happen soon. For the audition phase . . . (--which actually begins today in Denver) . . . they'll bring in various celebrity guest judges to take Paula's seat. --Two of them have been revealed: VICTORIA "POSH SPICE" BECKHAM and KATY PERRY.

There's been a lot of talk about Paula possibly changing her mind . . . or reopening negotiations with "Idol". But it doesn't sound like Fox is anticipating that. --Rice said, quote, "The negotiations have concluded . . . I have no expectation that Paula's going to [re-open negotiations]. Paula chose not to return. Our understanding is [that she] will not be coming back."

For the record, he said Fox made a, quote, "very fair" offer to Paula. He didn't specify what that was . . . but we've heard it was a multi-year deal beginning at around $4 million per season. That would've reportedly given her a 30% raise. --But TMZ claims Paula would actually consider coming back . . . for $10 MILLION a year.

There's also speculation about Paula joining "So You Think You Can Dance". Executive producer NIGEL LYTHGOE . . . (--who's also a former "Idol" producer) . . . says he'd like to have her, but he isn't sure that she's a free agent yet. --He says, quote, "I still don't know that she's going to leave 'Idol'. Until 'Idol' goes on the air there's always the opportunity for negotiations."

Finally, the paparazzi caught up with Paula on Wednesday. She said she still talks with SIMON COWELL all the time, and, quote, "He misses me already." (--Here's the video . . .) http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=d5000de5-878e-45d0-a595-5b8abf2a86e8

BATHROOM ETIQUETTE

EIGHT BATHROOM ETIQUETTE TIPS

If you've ever shared a bathroom, you know it can be frustrating . . . or downright disgusting.

Even if you're just visiting a friend's place, here are eight bathroom etiquette rules that will keep you from embarrassing yourself . . .

1.) CLOSE THE DOOR. It might sound obvious, but not everyone does it. Whether you're in a public or private bathroom, make sure you close the door the entire way. Whatever you went in there for, no one else needs to see it . . . or hear it.

2.) REPLACE THE ROLL. There's nothing worse than NEEDING toilet paper and not having it next to you. So, whenever you notice the roll has less than five or six squares on it, throw it out and grab a new one.

3.) DON'T LINGER. Some people like to relax in the bathroom. Meanwhile, someone else is standing outside the door waiting. It's especially rude if you're using the bathroom at work.

--Just because you have a mandatory 15-minute break DOESN'T mean you should spend it all in one place.

4.) USE THE TOILET BRUSH. Most people either keep it under the sink, or right next to the toilet. If the toilet bowl looks anything less than PRISTINE when you're done, grab the brush. If YOU don't do it, someone ELSE will have to.

5.) LIGHT A MATCH. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't get RID of the smell . . . it just MASKS it. But it works. Air fresheners work too, but they tend to add a fruity accent to the existing smell. In extreme cases, you might want to use both.

--To look out for your fellow man, you should keep a book of matches in YOUR bathroom. And make sure they're in plain sight.

6.) USE THE COURTESY FLUSH. If you KNOW things won't end well, minimize the damage by flushing early. It might not be environmentally friendly, but sometimes it's necessary.

7.) CLEAN THE SEAT. Guys, that means you. If you miss the target, make sure you wipe down the seat for the next person. It's polite to do it in a public bathroom, but it's absolutely ESSENTIAL if you're at your girlfriend's place.

8.) PLUNGE, IF NECESSARY. People who don't are the WORST. It's easy to walk away, and forget it ever happened, but it's INFINITELY more disgusting to plunge for someone ELSE than it is to plunge for yourself.

--And if there isn't a plunger handy, just ask for one. It's okay. Everyone needs to use one every now and then. (AskMen.com)

NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEO'S OF THE DAY (8/06/09)

WATCH OUT!!

Three horses run down a highway in Israel, but instead of avoiding oncoming traffic, one of the horses jumps on top of a car and crushes the windshield.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v_8BZkOgMU
(Search Terms: horse Israeli highway windshield video)

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SAVE SOME WATER

This Brazilian TV commercial encourages people to save water . . . by peeing in the shower. It features cartoon versions of Gandhi, Frankenstein, Alfred Hitchcock, and Stephen Hawking peeing behind shower curtains. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ_DNc1zbxI (Search Terms: Brazil pee in the shower save water cartoon commercial)

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YES WE CAN!

This guy may be the best OBAMA impersonator we've seen yet . . His name is Jordan Peele. He is a former "Mad TV" cast member. Very funny! Check it out!
.http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5aa7aae6c6/obama-debunks-birther-conspiracy
(Search Terms: FunnyOrDie.com Obama debunks birther video)

PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE

A BUS DRIVER IN NEW YORK CITY FEEDS UP TO 140 HOMELESS PEOPLE OUT-OF-POCKET . . . EVERY DAY:

Now it's time to recognize our JYY Hero of the Day . . . 44-year-old Jorge Munoz of Queens, New York.

Five years ago, Jorge and his family decided they wanted to do something to help the less fortunate in their neighborhood, so they started passing out home-cooked meals to anyone who was hungry.

Over the years, the Munoz family's operation got bigger and bigger. Now, Jorge and his family feed up to 140 homeless people EVERY DAY. But it's not only WHAT Jorge does but HOW he does it.

See, Jorge works as a bus driver and he uses HALF of his $700 paycheck every week to cover the expenses of his unpaid "second job" preparing food for complete strangers.

So why does he do it? -Jorge says, quote, "I have a stable job, my mom, my family, a house. Everything I want, I have. And these guys [don't]. So I just think, 'OK, I have the food.' At least for today they're going to have a meal to eat."

Overall, Jorge estimates he's served around 70,000 meals. (!!!) (CNN / Wallet Pop)

(--You can donate to Jorge's charity, An Angel in Queens, here . . .)http://www.anangelinqueens.org/

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A 16-YEAR-OLD QUADRUPLE AMPUTEE IS GOING TO VISIT JUILLIARD FOR DANCING LESSONS:

When Kiera Brinkley of Portland, Oregon, was just two years old, she contracted a bacterial infection, which forced doctors to amputate her arms and legs. But Kiera, who's now 16, never gave up her dream of becoming a dancer . . . and of visiting the Juilliard School of Dance in New York City. Well, guess what? -An organization called Dream Factory heard Kiera's story, and they've arranged for her to visit Juilliard where she'll sit in on classes, and even perform for Juilliard students.

Kiera says, quote, "I'm in a wheelchair, but that doesn't stop me . . . Never stop, never think that the life you have now is all that you can have. Just go out and do what you love to do."

Kiera arrived at Juilliard on Tuesday, and she'll be there for the next week. (KATU News 2 - Portland / KGW News 8 - Portland)

(--You can check out a video of Kiera dancing here. There's a brief ad you have to watch first . . .)
http://www.katu.com/news/local/52476372.html?video=YHI&t=a

(--This should go without saying, but this girl is a hero for overcoming her handicap!)

NO ONE CAN FIRE YOU

EIGHT WAYS TO BE UNFIREABLE

In this economy, NO job is 100 percent secure. But there ARE things you can do to reduce your chances of getting fired.

Here are eight ways to make sure you're indispensable at work . . .

1.) SAVE YOUR COMPANY MONEY. If you have an idea for how your company can cut costs, tell someone. Even if they DON'T use your brilliant plan, they'll appreciate that you're worried about the company's bottom line.

2.) BE POSITIVE. Nobody likes negativity, especially in a recession. So instead of complaining about what's going WRONG, focus on what's going RIGHT. Share good news with coworkers, make jokes when they're appropriate, and remember to smile.

3.) WORK LONGER HOURS. Sticking around for an extra half-hour after work can make a difference. It'll help make sure you don't fall behind, and your boss WILL notice . . . sooner or later.

--If you CAN'T stay late, think about coming in early. Just getting there 15 minutes before everyone else will make you stand out.

4.) BE A LEADER. ALL companies need leaders, regardless of a recession. And if you have leadership skills you've been sitting on, now is the time to show them off. Just because you don't have a manager's JOB TITLE doesn't mean you can't act like you do.

5.) DON'T GOSSIP. You probably hear all sorts of gossip at work. But guess what . . . so does your boss. As tempting as it might be, don't get caught up in office gossip. If you get caught, you might make enemies, and you'll DEFINITELY look unprofessional.

6.) WATCH YOUR BACK. Do you really think your boss doesn't notice all those personal calls? Or how much time you spend on Twitter? People pay closer attention than you think. Don't give them a reason to fire you.

7.) DON'T TAKE TIME OFF. If you've got strep throat, or your sister is getting married, that's one thing. But if you're constantly taking "mental health days" or calling in sick because you're hung over, you'll look like you don't care about your job.

--So don't get drunk on work nights. You'll either end up calling in sick the next day, or you'll show up smelling like booze . . . which is even worse.

8.) BE VISIBLE. If you're working late, helping others, and coming up with great ideas, make sure someone knows about it. Try giving your manager regular updates on your progress. An email once a week is enough.

--Don't brag, just make sure your boss knows you're going the extra mile. Remember, if YOU don't toot your own horn, NO ONE will. (WomenCo.com)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (8-06-09)

MILEY CYRUS' 53-YEAR-OLD STALKER HAS BEEN ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO GET TO HER AGAIN:

Not surprisingly, MILEY CYRUS' 53-year-old stalker tried to get to her again on the set of her new movie in Tybee Island, Georgia. And he was arrested yet again. (--The movie is called "The Last Song". It's based on the novel of the same name by NICHOLAS SPARKS.)

Police say that arlier this week, Mark McLeod was knocking on the doors of beach houses near the set and asking for Miley. He even went up to a SECURITY GUARD and asked, "Is Miley around?"

One of the guards outside the set recognized McLeod, so he called police. A warrant was obtained, and McLeod was arrested at his home, about 180 miles from the set.

(--Here's his mugshot . . .)

McLeod was arrested back in June for lurking around the set of the movie. At the time, he was busted for making some inappropriate comments to young Miley Cyrus fans who were also hanging around the set. But once he was arrested, he told the cops he and Miley were meant to be together, and that she sent him secret messages through her TV show. McLeod was released, but told to stay away from Miley.

Meanwhile, Disney asked police in Los Angeles to be on alert for him. --Back in March, McLeod attended Miley's book signing in Manhattan . . . and told the "New York Daily News" that he was going to ask Miley to marry him.

YOU COULD BE MILEY CYRUS' ROADIE . . . FOR A PRICE:

MILEY CYRUS has set up an eBay auction, which will give the highest bidder the opportunity to be her "roadie" for a day. The winner and three friends will get a VIP ticket to one of her shows . . . and will be able to hang out with her backstage.

Proceeds from the auction will benefit the Pappy Cyrus Family Foundation. It's a charity that was started by her family . . . (--in honor of her grandpa) . . . to help kids in need. The auction starts today.

(--For more details, hit up this link . . .) http://stores.shop.ebay.com/Auction-Cause/Miley-Cyrus.html

STEVEN TYLER FALLS FROM STAGE IN S.D

Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler was reportedly taken to a hospital after falling from stage during a concert at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in western South Dakota. Tyler, 61, fell while entertaining the crowd by dancing around after the sound system failed during the song "Love In an Elevator," concertgoer Lance Yellow Robe told the Rapid City Journal.

Tyler was on the stage's catwalk when he tottered backward and fell, Yellow Robe said. Security rushed to help him and the crowd cheered when Tyler got back up.

Tyler was taken backstage and around 12:15 a.m., Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry came out to tell the audience Tyler was being taken to the hospital and that the show would not go on.

Rapid City Regional Hospital coordinator Rod Brandhagen initially told The Associated Press that Tyler was on his way there early Thursday. He later declined to give any additional details.

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"AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY

RYAN SEACREST SAYS IT WASN'T A PUBLICITY STUNT . . . PAULA ABDUL *DID* QUIT "AMERICAN IDOL:

If you thought PAULA ABDUL was DRUNK TWEETING . . . or having one of her endearing, "temporarily insane" moments . . . you can forget about it.

It sounds like she really IS leaving "American Idol". Here's the latest: --RYAN SEACREST addressed the situation on his radio show yesterday morning . . . and he insisted that Paula ISN'T playing games. She's done.

He said, quote, "Everyone that I've passed today here has asked 'Is it true? Is it a publicity stunt?' As far as I know, it's real. At this point she's decided to leave."--He added, quote, "I was shocked. I'm just bummed because we've worked together for so many years. You hate to see this happen. I'm sure she has her reasons. Everybody's sort of wondering what's happening, but [it's] not a publicity stunt."

For what it's worth, when his co-host asked if there was a chance she could still work something out . . . or return to "Idol" in the future . . . he said, quote, "I would love that. I think that would be fantastic for all of us. That would be great.

"This week RANDY [JACKSON], SIMON [COWELL], KARA [DIOGUARDI] and I are in Denver for auditions, and I'm sure I'll have more to tell you." --Simon and Kara have yet to comment on Paula's apparent departure . . . but Randy issued a brief statement saying, quote, "I am shocked. Paula is a dear friend and will be missed." (--Sure, that's a pretty lame statement . . . but you KNOW Randy is choked up when he says a complete thought without using: "Yo", "Dude", "Dawg" or "Check It".)

Obviously, Paula and "Idol" weren't seeing eye-to-eye on the terms of a new contract. --Here's the talk on that: TMZ claims that Paula was given two offers. She wasn't happy with either one . . . and she didn't even RESPOND to the second one. She just announced that she was leaving on Twitter and that was that.

The general consensus is that Paula was making between $2 million and $3 million last season . . . and she wanted a "substantial raise." "Idol" reportedly offered her a 30% raise in a "multi-year deal" worth over $10 million. --The "Hollywood Reporter" claims Paula wanted a deal worth $20 million, but it's unclear how many seasons that would include. And the "New York Daily News" says she was looking for around $12 million per season. (--That may sound outlandish . . . but remember: "Idol" just gave Seacrest a three-year, $45 million deal. That's $15 million per season.)

Not that anyone believes this or anything, but Britain's "Sun" tabloid claims that "Idol" is ALREADY in talks with VICTORIA "POSH SPICE" BECKHAM to become the new fourth judge.

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BEASTIE BOY ADAM "MCA" YAUCH IS "RAPIDLY RECOVERING" FROM CANCER SURGERY:

ADAM "MCA" YAUCH . . . of the BEASTIE BOYS . . . sent out an e-mail update on his cancer treatment and recovery. --MCA says he underwent surgery about two weeks ago to remove the tumor, which was located in his left salivary gland. (--The cancer had also spread to a nearby lymph node.)

He adds that he's quote, "rapidly recovering" from the surgery. --The next step in his treatment is seven weeks of radiation. That will begin in a few weeks. (--You can read the entire email, here . . .)http://view.email.topspin.net/?j=fe8d1d707061037971&m=ff011c70776507&ls=fdeb1770766c01757c137975&l=fe9f15737667047d73&s=fe1d12797161037e761079&jb=ffcf14&ju=

(--When MCA first announced that he'd been diagnosed with cancer, he said that it had been caught it early . . . that it had been confined to one area that did not affect his vocal cords . . . and that he expected to make a full recovery.)

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MICHAEL JACKSON RANDOMS:

#1.) "Entertainment Tonight" says that MICHAEL JACKSON will be buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery . . . where the family has been keeping his body since he died on June 25th.

#2.) The "New York Post" claims that KATHERINE JACKSON wants a THIRD autopsy . . . because she's convinced that Michael was MURDERED.

#3.) The sharks have begun circling Michael Jackson's corpse. A South Korean newspaper called the "Segye Times" is asking for $7.9 million from Michael's estate. --Back in the late 1980s, the paper paid the Jackson Family $5.5 million for a series of concerts that never happened. So they sued Michael, his parents, JOE and KATHERINE, and his brother JERMAINE.

Michael settled with the paper out of court . . . and in 1990, the paper won a judgment against the other three for $4 million. They want that, plus interest, from Michael's estate. (--It's not clear whether Michael's estate would even be liable for this. Katherine is the only one of the three who's a beneficiary.)

OUCH!! USE SUNBLOCK NEXT TIME!

AND NOW . . . PHOTOS OF KNUCKLEHEADS WITH BAD SUNBURNS:

Last night, I was online booking my end-of-summer vacation when I stumbled across a website that had a bunch of photos of knuckleheads sporting ridiculously bad SUNBURNS. (--Take a look at these sunburned bozos here . . .)http://www.kontraband.com/pics/18880/So-Much-For-The-Sun-Tan/(Kontraband)

(Here are just a few including Kim Kardashian)

POLITICAL NEWS

PRESIDENT OBAMA GETS 30 DEATH THREATS EVERY DAY:

Yesterday, a new book came out about the Secret Service. It's called "In the President's Secret Service" and it was written by a guy named Ronald Kessler.

Anyway, in the book, Kessler makes the claim that, according to members of the Secret Service, PRESIDENT OBAMA gets 30 death threats every day.

If it's true, that's up almost 400% from the 3,000 or so death threats PRESIDENT BUSH received last year.

I'd like to take this opportunity to remind all disgruntled, mentally unstable psychos out there that it's a felony to threaten the president's life, and it can even be considered TREASON, which is punishable by DEATH!

(--You can order a copy of "In the President's Secret Service" here . . .)http://www.amazon.com/dp/0307461351/ref=nosim/?=newsmaxcom08-20(Daily Telegraph)

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Yesterday was PRESIDENT OBAMA'S 48th birthday, but it was also White House correspondent Helen Thomas' 89th birthday. So Obama showed up to the White House Briefing Room with cupcakes and a candle while everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to her.

(--At :45, Helen Thomas blows out the candle, and at 1:14 Obama jokes that she wished for healthcare reform.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icagf7sCscs
(Search Terms: Obama happy birthday Helen Thomas video)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (8-05-09)

AH, THOSE JO BRO'S!

JOE JONAS gave a lucky fan a pretty wicked THRILL at the JONAS BROTHERS' show in Las Vegas on Saturday night. He saw a young girl in the front row . . . picked her up . . . and HELD HER while they were performing.(--Here's the video . . .)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXz36W-R_AI

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BEYONCÉ AND LADY GAGA ARE TIED FOR THE MOST VMA NOMINATIONS:

MTV announced the nominations for this year's Video Music Awards yesterday, and BEYONCÉ is tied with LADY GAGA for the most nominations, with NINE each. BRITNEY SPEARS came in second with seven nominations. All of Beyoncé's nominations were for her "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" video. Lady Gaga was recognized for her "Poker Face" and "Paparazzi" videos . . . and Britney was nominated for her "Womanizer" and "Circus" videos.

All three of them are up for the Video of the Year award . . . along with KANYE WEST for "Love Lockdown . . . and EMINEM for "We Made You". (--Kanye and Eminem were both nominated for four VMAs in the same four categories. In addition to Video of the Year, the other three are: Best Male Video, Best Hip-Hop Video, and Best Special Effects.)

In addition to all the usual categories this year, MTV is giving classic videos a chance to win a VMA "Moonman" award . . . in retrospect. There are 10 nominees for that, including the BEASTIE BOYS' awesome "Sabotage" video.

As previously announced, RUSSELL BRAND will host for the second straight year . . . and the confirmed performers are: GREEN DAY, PINK, TAYLOR SWIFT and MUSE. (--More performers will be announced in the coming weeks.)

This year's "MTV Video Music Awards" will air live on Sunday, September 13th. -Fan voting opened yesterday at VMA.MTV.com. You'll be able to vote for your favorites anytime up through August 21st. (--They actually have a cool site set up . . . where you can hit up each category and check out all the videos that have been nominated. Here's the link . . .) http://www.mtv.com/ontv/vma/2009/categories.jhtml

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HE IS STILL THE KING OF PARODY!

"WEIRD AL" YANKOVIC has released a new song and video. It's called "CNR" . . . and it's a WHITE STRIPES parody. Weird Al's version is all about the late CHARLES NELSON REILLY . . . who was a panelist on "Match Game".

The song basically celebrates Charles as some sort of CHUCK NORRIS SUPERHUMAN. (--The song and video are available now on iTunes . . . but Weird Al has also made it available for FREE on YouTube. Here's the link . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrGmD2wk8m4

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"SAVED BY THE BELL" RANDOMS:

#1.) LARK VOORHIES . . . who played Lisa Turtle on "Saved By the Bell" . . . is DENYING that the cast blocked DUSTIN DIAMOND from joining them on the cover of "People" magazine because of his upcoming TELL-ALL book.

She says, quote, "He's local. He's a big boy. If he wanted to be there, he could have been there. He was included." She also said she isn't worried about Dustin's book because, quote, "I have nothing to hide." (--Here's a video of her comments . . .)http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=196e71eb-bb09-4bd6-9346-798e17b7bf20

#2.) One person who definitely WASN'T invited to "People" magazine's "Saved By the Bell" reunion was DENNIS HASKINS, who played Mr. Belding. He tells "The Detroit News", quote, "I earned the right to be there. If anybody deserved to be on that cover, it was [me]. I want people to know it was not my choice not to be there, because I would have been there. It hurts my feelings, but I'll live."

#3.) So what HAS DUSTIN DIAMOND been up to? Well, last weekend he performed two nights of stand-up comedy at a Virginia pizza joint called Listrani's. TMZ says he pocketed $2,000 for the gig. (--Here's a bad picture of him there . . .)

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MICHAEL JACKSON MADNESS

JOE JACKSON SAYS HE WON'T BE INVOLVED IN RAISING HIS GRANDCHILDREN . . . BUT MICHAEL'S DERMATOLOGIST WANTS IN:

KATHERINE JACKSON officially got custody of all of MICHAEL JACKSON'S kids on Monday . . . and now JOE JACKSON is weighing in on what HIS role will be. (--Katherine became the legal guardian of Michael's two oldest children, 12-year-old Prince and 11-year-old Paris. Their mother, DEBBIE ROWE, didn't contest the issue. Custody of 7-year-old "Blanket" wasn't in question. Debbie isn't his mother.)

Joe filed a declaration with the court supporting Michael's decision to make Katherine the guardian, and made it clear that he won't be involved. --His declaration read, quote, "I have had a close family relationship with these grandchildren since their birth. I do visit the family residence from time to time and will continue to do so, however I will not be involved in raising the children.

-"I understand that all decision-making authority regarding the children will rest with Katherine Jackson. Katherine Jackson is a wonderful caretaker and guardian, and has done an excellent job raising our children and other grandchildren."

Joe's declaration is actually a little surprising since . . . with the exception of Debbie Row . . . everyone involved in Michael's life reacts to developments by creating MORE drama. And Joe's usually one of the worst. -But in this case, Joe accepted that he wasn't mentioned in the will . . . threw his support behind his estranged wife . . . and admitted that he only visits the family from time to time. (--He lives in Las Vegas, while Katherine lives in Encino, California.)

Refreshing, right? Hold on. Because while Joe is supporting the court's decision to let Katherine handle the kids, Michael's longtime dermatologist . . . Arnold Klein . . . DOES want a role. --His lawyers are planning to ask the court for some kind of influence in their upbringing.

According to a statement they released, quote, "Dr. Klein has been involved with the children in sharing holidays and other special events and wishes to have the ability to continue his involvement as a very close friend of their father and offers his guidance and protection forever." (--"Protection forever?" That just sounds spooky. Especially when you consider the rumors that Dr. Klein was the real biological father of the kids. Otherwise, why would he want to have such a special role in their lives? Could it be . . . CASH MONEY?)

SOME DETAILS ON THAT MICHAEL JACKSON CONCERT MOVIE:

According to new court documents, Columbia Pictures will create a movie from the footage of MICHAEL JACKSON rehearsing for the 50 London concerts that were supposed to be his comeback.

According to the deal, Columbia would buy the rights to the video footage from concert promoter AEG Live for $60 million. The Jackson estate would get 90% of that, and AEG would get the other 10%. --Columbia would then produce a PG-rated, feature-length film. According to AEG, more than 100 hours of footage exist.

The contract also dictates that the movie show Michael Jackson in a positive light. --A judge still needs to sign off on the transaction. That'll probably happen next week.

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BROOKE HOGAN IS *NOT* PLANNING A PRO-WRESTLING CAREER:

Sadly, BROOKE HOGAN is NOT planning a career in the one place where we all REALLY want to see her: the wrestling ring. --She's been approached by VINCE MCMAHON a bunch of times to join the WWE, but so far it's not going to happen. So far . . .

She said, quote, "The WWE have told me that if I ever want to become a wrestler, all I need to do is walk through the door and they'll give me a job straight away. --"They are always like, 'Hey Brooke when are you gonna put on some spandex and get in the ring?' But it's just not my interest. I'm more of a girly girl."

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PAULA ABDUL SAYS SHE *WON'T* BE RETURNING TO "AMERICAN IDOL" NEXT SEASON:

Last night, PAULA ABDUL announced on Twitter . . . that she will NOT be returning to "American Idol" next season.

Her message said, quote, "With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to 'Idol'. I'll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all being a part of a show that I helped from day [one] become an international phenomenon."

And then, she thanked her fans, writing, quote, "What I want to say most, is how much I appreciate the undying support and enormous love that you have showered upon me. -"It truly has been breathtaking, especially over the past month. I do without any doubt have the BEST fans in the entire world and I love you all."

Paula had been in contract negotiations with "Idol" throughout the summer . . . although a few weeks ago, her manager, David Sonenberg, claimed that the show had yet to make her a formal offer to return. However, from everything we've heard, it sounds like "Idol" would have LOVED to have her back . . . at a reasonable price. There's been a lot of speculation that Paula has been playing hardball to land a big pay raise.

And honestly, this "announcement" COULD be a bargaining tactic . . . one last ditch effort to try to squeeze a little more money out of the show. But if it is, it sounds like "Idol" is prepared to call her bluff and move on without her.

Fox HAS confirmed that Paula has told them she's leaving the show. In a joint statement with the producers of "Idol", Fox said, quote, "Paula Abdul has been an important part of the 'American Idol' family over the last eight seasons and we are saddened that she has decided not to return to the show. "While Paula will not be continuing with us, she's a tremendous talent and we wish her the best."

Later last night, RYAN SEACREST responded on his Twitter feed. He wrote, quote, "About to go to sleep when I started seeing my Blackberry blow up. I have read what u have read and I am shocked and saddened about Paula. -"'Idol' and the cast have grown with each other over the last 8 seasons. I can't imagine the panel without Paula. She's a star [and] a great friend." --He added, quote, "Spoke to Randy. Hope to speak with Paula privately overnight."

All this sort of comes at the last minute for the show. The judges are scheduled to begin their first day of filming for the upcoming season TOMORROW. (--According to "People" magazine, they'll be taping auditions in Denver.)

Paula was making at least $2.5 million per season on "Idol". It's unclear how much she was offered . . . or how much she wanted . . . but judging from the new contract Seacrest signed this summer, it could have been A LOT MORE. (--Ryan reportedly signed a three-year, $45 MILLION extension with "Idol". Obviously, that's $15 million per season. But before that, he was making just under $5 million a season. That's a GIGANTIC raise.)

Anyway, if Paula really IS gone, we're back to three judges next season. SIMON COWELL and RANDY JACKSON were already signed through 2010 . . . and KARA DIOGUARDI just agreed to a new deal with "Idol" last week.

HOW TO:

HERE ARE TEN TIPS TO HELP YOU BECOME HAPPIER:

If you could, wouldn't you like to be just a little bit HAPPIER? Of course you would. Who wouldn't? With that in mind, here are ten easy tips to help you become happier:

#1.) Take care of the basics: Before tackling your deepest insecurities, make sure you're taking care of the basics . . . like staying well-fed and getting enough sleep.

#2.) Don't vent: This is probably the opposite of everything you've been told. But venting every little annoyance doesn't make your anger go away . . . it just makes you feel worse.

#3.) Fake it: If your feelings are affected by your actions, then, by that logic, acting like you're happy will actually make you happier.

#4.) Try and fail: Look, nobody's perfect. But you'll be happier if you try new stuff and FAIL . . . versus never trying anything new.

#5.) Don't "treat" yourself: When people are upset, they try to "treat" themselves to small indulgences, like a new pair of jeans or a couple glasses of wine. And it actually works for a few minutes, until the guilt sets in.

#6.) Buy your happiness: On the other hand, money can help improve your happiness if you use it to improve your health, to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict or to stay in touch with family and friends.

#7.) Leave some wiggle room: There are two types of people in the world: Those who want things to be "perfect", and those who want things to be "good enough". --Guess what? People who are OK with "good enough" are happier than those who need perfection.

#8.) Exercise: Getting even a little exercise is just about the surest way to improve your mood.

#9.) Stop nagging: Nagging doesn't work. All it really does is make you and everyone around you much more aggravated and annoyed.

#10.) Take action: Some people assume that happiness is something you're born with. But that's not true. In fact, it's estimated that you can control about 40% of your own happiness level. (CNN)

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FOUR WAYS TO SURVIVE A JOB YOU HATE

Do you hate your job? Well, you're not alone. According to one poll, 77% of Americans do. So why not do something about it? Whether you've been there for ten months or ten years, here are four ways to survive a job you hate . . .

1.) MAKE FRIENDS. Just because you hate most of your coworkers doesn't mean you should ignore them ALL. Having a social life at work is important, because it makes the experience more tolerable.

--Plus, it's a clever way to network. Co-workers know people at other companies. So, if you're looking for another job, start there. Just don't ask your BOSS if he knows of job openings at his old company. Remember, the only thing worse than HAVING a bad job is LOSING a bad job.

2.) GET MORE INVOLVED. I know that sounds like the LAST thing you want to do, but some people hate their work because they don't take PRIDE in it. If you can create your own project at work, do it. At the very least, it'll keep you from getting bored.

3.) LOOK FOR OTHER JOBS INSIDE YOUR COMPANY. Maybe you don't hate your COMPANY, you just hate your JOB. Well, seven out of ten jobs go to people who know someone at the company. And at least you already know EVERYONE at your company.

--So see if another department has an opening you're interested in. If you keep searching for other jobs . . . inside AND outside your company . . . you'll realize that being miserable at your current job won't last forever.

4.) RELAX. You PHYSICALLY have to be at work, but that doesn't mean your MIND has to be on the job. Not 100 percent anyway. If you're allowed to use headphones, use them. Listen to music . . . or learn a language.

--Just do something that takes your mind off the work you're being FORCED to do . . . And ALWAYS take a full lunch break. (AskMen.com)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

AN 86-YEAR-OLD IN CHICAGO WAS ARRESTED FOR SHOPLIFTING . . . FOR THE 61ST TIME:

On Sunday, 86-year-old Ella Orko of Chicago, Illinois, was arrested after she got caught shoplifting from a local grocery store called Dominick's Finer Foods. But this isn't the first time Ella's been arrested. In fact, it's the 61st time she's been arrested.

According to police, Ella's first arrest was in 1956 for petty larceny and, overall, this is at least the 13th time Ella's been arrested for shoplifting.

Anyway, Ella's bond has been set at $10,000. Her next court appearance is scheduled for next week. (Chicago Sun-Times)

(--If you're wondering what Ella tried to shoplift, she got busted with five packs of salmon, 11 packs of AA batteries, four jars of instant coffee, two packs of anti-wrinkle cream and eight jars of face cream . . . all stuffed up her shirt.)

(--And take a look at Ella's mugshot here . . .)

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HERE ARE SEVEN WAYS FOR GUYS TO BE IRRESISTIBLE:

If you're a good-looking guy, you're going to get noticed. Luckily for the rest of us, looks aren't the only thing women care about. So pay attention, because whether you're handsome or homely, supposedly these are the seven traits that make a man irresistible . . .

1.) MASTER THE WINK. Some guys are REALLY good at it. But the wink can be tricky to pull off. There's a fine line between a CONFIDENT wink and a CREEPY wink. So practice in the mirror before you use it anywhere.

2.) KEEP YOUR COOL. People tend to worry about things they can't control. So when a guy has a calming presence, it can put women at ease. It's very sexy when a guy seems to glide through life without stressing over every little thing.

3.) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. This includes eating right, and staying physically fit. Guys, you don't have to hit the gym seven days a week, but staying in relatively good shape shows that you think about the future

--And the bottom line is, if a guy takes good care of himself, women assume he'll take good care of them too.

4.) HAVE STYLE. You can be clean-cut, punked-out, or anywhere in between. You just need to be CONSCIOUS of style. Men who throw on the same ratty clothes every day just aren't going to be considered sexy.

5.) SMELL GOOD. Okay, you can't control your natural scent. And our DNA dictates who smells good to us. But any man can improve his essence with a little bit of cologne. As long as it's not too much. A guy who smells good has something to work with.

6.) BE AFFECTIONATE. There are two types of guys: one guy will reach out and hold a girl's hand while he's driving. The other will keep his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel. Sorry, but women think the first guy is sexier.

7.) LAUGH LOUD, HARD, AND OFTEN. Women like funny guys. But there are different TYPES of humor. Women DON'T tend to like insecure comedy . . . the kind that's based on putting other people down.

--But fun-loving guys who can laugh at THEMSELVES can be irresistible. (YourTango.com)

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HERE'S HOW TO DRINK COFFEE AND STILL GET ENOUGH SLEEP:

Caffeine stays in your system for about 12 hours. And it's generally a good idea to stop drinking coffee at least six hours before bedtime. But we all know that's not always possible. So here are four ways to fall asleep after too much coffee . . .

1.) CREATE A RESTFUL ENVIRONMENT. The caffeine in coffee boosts your senses, so you need to get rid of all stimulation. Turn of the TV, and don't play on the Internet. Any lights you leave on should provide "mood lighting." Nothing too bright.

2.) GET SOME LIGHT EXERCISE. If you're tossing and turning in bed, try going for a walk around the block. A little exercise will release serotonin in your body, which helps promote sleep. Just don't do too much. -Because walking too fast will raise your body temperature, which INHIBITS sleep. Cold air can wake you up too. So, if it's cold outside, try doing a few push-ups or sit-ups instead.

3.) HAVE A GLASS OF WARM MILK. This actually does work. Here's why: Milk is a good source of TRYPTOPHAN . . . the same sleep-inducing stuff that's in turkey and other meats. And it doesn't really need to be warm. A COLD glass of milk is fine.

-If you need a late-night snack, the carbs in whole wheat bread will help your body absorb the tryptophan. Just stay away from sugary snacks, which will wake you up.

4.) REST YOUR MIND. Caffeine makes your mind race. And watching TV offers too much stimulation. But reading a BOOK is actually RELAXING for your brain. If you're not a reader, close your eyes and picture relaxing locations, like waterfalls or beaches. --Seriously. Concentrate on the sounds and the details, and pretty soon you'll be out cold. (AskMen.com)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (7-04-09)

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE HAVE WRITTEN AN ANTI-PARTY SONG . . . THAT YOU CAN PARTY TO:

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE is currently working on some new material . . . (--for their first album since 2006's "The Black Parade") . . . and it sounds like it's going pretty well. In fact, singer GERARD WAY thinks they may have a big HIT. It's a song called "Death Before Disco" . . . and he's pretty excited about it.

Gerard tells "Rolling Stone" magazine, quote, "It brings back, lyrically, some of that wonderful fiction from the first album. -"I think we wrote our 'Born to Run', and I'm so amped about that. It's a completely different sound for the band . . . it's like an anti-party song that you can party to. I can't wait for people to hear it. -"To me, it's the greatest song we've ever written . . . it's my favorite my Chemical Romance song."

--Now that Gerard has you expecting the emo "Hey Jude" or something . . . you probably want to hear this instant classic, right? Well fortunately, you can. They played "Death Before Disco" in L.A. on Friday night, and it made it to YouTube.

(--You can listen to it at the link below. In fairness to Gerard . . . consider that the audio quality on this video is extremely WEAK.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lewKKH9UzpI

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THE DEAL IS DONE: KATHERINE JACKSON GETS CUSTODY OF MICHAEL'S KIDS:

The custody agreement we heard about last week became a done deal yesterday. KATHERINE JACKSON is now the legal guardian of MICHAEL'S two oldest children, 12-year-old Prince and 11-year-old Paris.

Their mother, DEBBIE ROWE, was granted visitation rights . . . although no schedule has been set up yet. (--Custody of Michael's third child, 7-year-old "Blanket", was never in question. Debbie isn't his mother. In fact, his mother's identity has never been revealed . . . and nobody has come forward looking for a piece of the action. Yet.)

The kids and Katherine will receive a monthly allowance from Michael's estate. The sum was not disclosed. --Both Prince and Paris had signed consent forms indicating that they wanted to stay with Katherine.

Before the judge rendered his final decision, there was a bizarre objection to the custody agreement from DR. ARNOLD KLEIN. He was Michael's dermatologist, and there have been rumors since Michael died that he's the real biological father of Michael's kids. (--He was also Debbie Rowe's boss. That's how Michael met Debbie in the first place.)

Klein was apparently objecting to decisions concerning the kids' education and medical care . . . but the judge basically tossed it aside, since Klein has no legal standing when it comes to the kids.

Klein's attorney later said he was just being a, quote, "concerned friend." --The judge did say that Klein can file papers regarding his "concerns" . . . and Klein's lawyers say he'll do that on September 1st. --His attorneys later released a statement SORT OF clarifying what this is all about. They said, quote, "Dr. Klein has always had a special relationship with Paris Katherine and Prince Michael, loves and cares deeply for these children and is looking out for their best interest. -"Dr. Klein has been involved with the children in sharing holidays and other special events and wishes to have the ability to continue his involvement as a very close friend of their father and offers his guidance and protection forever."

Here's one more interesting note: We heard last week that Katherine and Debbie would be splitting the cost of a child psychologist. Well, E! Online says the psychologist's job will be to help the kids, quote, "deal with their birth mother reentering their life." --In other words, the kids either do know, or WILL know, that Debbie is their mom.

One issue that wasn't resolved at yesterday's hearing was the overall control of Michael's estate. --Katherine has recently put some legal feelers out to test whether or not she can object to the two men Michael named in his will as executors of the estate: Attorney John Branca and music executive John McClain. --That issue will be discussed further at a hearing NEXT Monday.

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SUPER SIZE IT!

For some reason, I found this video very amusing. It's BRAD PITT, ANGELINA JOLIE and the kids at a McDonald's drive-thru. Check it out . . . http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=da6d0a87-9c58-44ea-8154-343ea65c0c5a

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"American Idol" reject KIMBERLEY LOCKE . . . (--who came in third place on Season Two) . . . will host a new reality show called "Making the Curve". --The show is still in the development stages . . . and doesn't have a network yet.

It sounds AWESOME, though. According to the "New York Post", "Making the Curve" will follow, quote, "talented, plus-size women as they prove that they have what it takes to form a hit pop musical group." (!!!)

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MARIAH CAREY'S UPCOMING ALBUM WILL COME WITH A 34-PAGE BOOKLET . . . PACKED WITH ADS:

Island Def Jam has announced that the new MARIAH CAREY album, "Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel", will come with a 34-page booklet . . . PACKED WITH ADS. -The booklet is being described as a "mini-magazine". It'll have lyrics and liner notes like a typical CD booklet . . . but it will also feature a ton of additional material, which was created in conjunction with "Elle" magazine.

This will include stories about Mariah . . . with titles like "VIP Access to Her Sexy Love Life", "Amazing Closet" and "Recording Rituals." And the ads will be for things like Elizabeth Arden, Angel Champagne and the Bahamas Board of Tourism.

Island Def Jam boss L.A. REID explains, quote, "The idea was really simple thinking: 'We sell millions of records, so you should advertise with us.' --"My artists have substantial circulation . . . when you sell 2 million, 5 million, 8 million, that's a lot of eyeballs. Most magazines aren't as successful as those records."

Reid says that Mariah was, quote, "very open" to the idea . . . especially since the ads were for things that she was cool with being associated with. --Reid says that's what he was going for . . . quote, "I wouldn't want to do Mariah Carey and Comet abrasive cleaner. I wanted things that really reflected her taste."

Obviously, this new "business model" is an attempt to increase revenues . . . despite YEARS of plummeting album sales across the board. (--Just this year, album sales are down 13.9% . . . compared to the numbers at this time last year.)

If this is a success, Island Def Jam could produce similar booklets for upcoming albums by RIHANNA, KANYE WEST, BON JOVI and others. And there's a good chance that other labels will follow suit.

A shorter version of the booklet . . . minus the album-specific content . . . will appear in the October issue of "Elle" magazine, which hits newsstands in mid-September. (--"Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel" comes out on September 15th.)

A version of the booklet will also accompany digital albums purchased online. (--We assume it'll come as a PDF file, but it's unclear how that will work.)

SHOULD YOU LIE YOUR WAY TO THE TOP?

SHOULD YOU LIE TO GET A JOB?

If you ask any hiring manager, recruiter, or HR rep, they'll say you should NEVER lie in a job interview. But the reality is, most people have at least BENT the truth to get a job.

Here are five interview situations and how you should handle them . . .

1.) YOU'RE THREE CREDITS SHY OF GRADUATING. Tell the truth. Some employers ask to see your diploma, some don't. But it's not worth the risk. If you don't technically have a college degree, be honest. Some companies will help you pay for the classes you need to finish.

2.) YOU DON'T PLAN ON BEING THERE LONG-TERM. Keep it to yourself. If you come clean, there NO WAY you'll get the job. Plus, plenty of people have taken jobs they THOUGHT they'd only be in for a few months. But the JOB ended up becoming a CAREER.

3.) YOU WERE FIRED FROM YOUR LAST JOB. Don't worry. It doesn't have the same social stigma it used to. If the interviewer doesn't ask, you don't need to bring it up. But if he DOES, just explain your side of the story, and don't say more than you need to.

4.) YOU HAVE A RECORD. Most companies do background checks these days. So if you have a misdemeanor or a felony on your record, there's no use lying about it. You definitely shouldn't list it on your RESUME, but come clean if you're asked.

--If you just did something stupid in college, they'll probably understand.

5.) YOU KNOW YOUR FORMER BOSS WILL GIVE A BAD REFERENCE. First, see if there's a DIFFERENT reference you can use. Someone in your old HR department might be willing to do it. If not, prepare the interviewer for what he might hear.

--If you do, you'll have a better chance of actually landing the job. (CNN.com)

NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEO'S OF THE DAY

OPPPS!! A demolition job in Turkey went horribly wrong when the entire building tipped over and rolled onto its roof.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oyaz5_2cB2Y
(Search Terms: Turkey demolition goes wrong rolled roof video)

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TIMBER!!

A British bed company tried to set a world record for "mattress dominoes".

v=ndYxBQXhNjI">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndYxBQXhNjI
(Search Terms: mattress dominoes world record attempt video)

HOW BIZARRE NEWS (08/03/09)

THREE WOMEN SUPER-GLUED A GUY'S SCHMECKEL TO HIS STOMACH AFTER LEARNING HE WAS DATING ALL OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME:

Last week, Tracy Hood-Davis of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin learned that her husband was cheating on her with THREE other women. So to teach him a lesson, Tracy contacted the other ladies . . . 47-year-old Therese Ziemann, 44-year-old Wendy Sewell and 43-year-old Michelle Belliveau . . . and told them what her husband was up to.

On Thursday, Therese tricked the guy into meeting her at a local hotel, where she blindfolded him and tied him up. Then, all three girlfriends ambushed the guy and started asking him which of them he loved most.

And at some point, the ladies cut off the guy's underwear and SUPER-GLUED HIS SCHMECKEL TO HIS STOMACH. Then they stole his cell phone and wallet, and took off in his car.

The man was rushed to the hospital where he was treated for minor injuries and released. All four ladies have been arrested and charged with being a party to false imprisonment. If they're convicted, they could get up to SIX YEARS in prison.

And Therese was also charged with fourth-degree sexual assault and misdemeanor battery. If she's convicted, she could get up to SEVEN YEARS in prison. (Appleton Post-Crescent / ABC News)

(--Check out photos of Therese, Wendy and Michelle. . .)

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INTRODUCING T.W.I.T.s . . . TEENAGE WOMEN IN THEIR THIRTIES:

I just heard of a new term out there, and I have to share it with you. Ready? It's T-W-I-Ts. It refers to women who stay single and keep partying into their 30s, as in "Teenage Women In their Thirties". Get it?

TWITs are basically women who put off having babies and avoid getting into serious relationships, so that they can keep partying like they did when they were teenagers. And once they've spent their 20s single and partying . . . they keep on going.

I know what you're thinking. These are just older woman who can't meet a decent guy, and who can't take the hint that they're too old for the scene. Not so. And they're not "cougars", looking to make up for their baggage by preying on younger guys.

They're hot, confident, well-dressed, intelligent, and career-oriented. And they know it. Which is exactly why they stay single: so they can go out, have fun, and enjoy their freedom . . . instead of getting tied down like the rest of us married slobs. (News.com.au)

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A BANK TELLER WAS FIRED FROM HIS JOB FOR *PREVENTING* A BANK ROBBERY:

Here is even more proof that it just doesn't pay to do the right thing . . . On Tuesday, 30-year-old Jim Nicholson was working as a teller at a Key Bank branch in Seattle when an unidentified 29-year-old guy wearing a beanie and sunglasses passed him a backpack and told him to fill it with money.

But instead of doing what the robber said, Jim jumped over the counter and demanded to see the guy's weapon. Then, when the robber took off running, Jim chased him down and held him until the police showed up.

So how did the bank repay Jim for preventing the robbery? Get this . . . THEY FIRED HIM. Why? --Because bank tellers are trained to get burglars out the door as quickly as possible, NOT to be heroes. Since Jim disobeyed the bank's policy, he had to go.

Jim says, quote, "They tell us that we're just supposed to comply, but my instincts kicked in and I did what's best to stop the guy. I thought if I let him go he would rob more banks and cause more problems." -Officials for Key Bank have refused to discuss the situation. (Seattle Times)

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THERE'S A NEW BIKINI ON THE MARKET THAT DISSOLVES IN WATER:

Guys . . . if you want to get back at your ex-girlfriend for breaking up with you, there's a new product on the market from a German company called Cult Styles that you might want to check out.

It's called the Get Naked bikini, and it completely DISSOLVES after just three minutes in the water. So what's the point?

The idea is that you'd give your ex the Get Naked bikini as a show of goodwill. But once she wears it to the beach or pool, it'll fall apart and humiliate her in public. (--Fun, no?) (Sun)

(--You can buy the Get Naked bikini for about $15 here . . .)http://www.racheshop.de/product_info.php?products_id=12329

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A CHURCH IN TEXAS HELD A VIGIL TO PRAY FOR RAIN . . . AND IT ACTUALLY STARTED RAINING:

This summer has been extremely nasty in certain parts of Texas, with temperatures reaching triple-digits nearly every day and not even a drop of rain. Anyway, members of the Christ Our King Anglican Church in New Braunfels, Texas decided they were sick of the drought, so last Thursday, more than 200 people gathered in the town's square to pray for rain.

Well guess what? As they were praying, it actually started RAINING. (--To be fair, the rain only lasted a few minutes, and the rainfall only added up to a fraction (--0.03) of an inch. But, still, you have to admit that's pretty cool.) (Express-News)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (8-03-09)

MARK WAHLBERG FINALLY MARRIED HIS BABY-MAMA:

MARKY MARK WAHLBERG has finally married Rhea Durham, the woman who's been baring his kids for him for the past 5 years. Mark made the Big jump on Saturday at a Catholic Church in Beverly Hills, in front of just 20 guests.

Their 5-year-old daughter Ella was the flower girl. Mark and Rhea also have two sons: 3-year-old Michael and 10-month-old Brendan.

(--Mark is 38 . . . Rhea is 31. Here's a pictures from the wedding . . .)

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JESSICA SIMPSON IS BACK TO BEING AN AIR-HEAD AGAIN:

We haven't heard much idiocy from JESSICA SIMPSON for quite some time. But I am happy to report, IT HAS RETURNED. The other day on Twitter, Jessica said, quote, "[I] love it when the lyric of a song asks me a question."

-Then, her next post read, quote, "Is 'asks' even a word? If not, sorry 4 my layziness with grammar." (--Notice not only the fact that Jess isn't sure whether "asks" is a word . . . but also the spelling of "layziness".) Welcome back Jess!!

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DREW BARRYMORE loves dolphins so much, she's got images and statues of them all over her house. But she takes her love even further than that. According to the "National Enquirer", she actually thinks she used to BE one.

A so-called "friend" says that Drew once told her, quote, "They are just really special creatures and highly evolved. To tell you the truth, I'm convinced I was a dolphin in another life and that's why I'm so attracted to them."

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DUSTIN DIAMOND *DID* WRITE A "TELL-ALL" BOOK ON "SAVED BY THE BELL" . . . AND IT'S COMING OUT SOON:

DUSTIN DIAMOND . . . who, of course, played Screech on "Saved By the Bell" . . . HAS written a "tell-all" book about his time on the show. The book, which is titled "Behind the Bell", was first announced last summer . . . when it was said to include details on, quote, "sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying."

For what it's worth, the initial publisher, Gotham Books, dropped out of the project a few months ago . . . supposedly because Dustin's manuscript contained a lot of absurd claims that Gotham deemed "unverifiable."

Anyway, "Behind the Bell" has found a new publisher . . . (--Transit Publishing, which just released that "tell-all" MICHAEL JACKSON book, "Unmasked", by "journalist" Ian Halperin.) It's scheduled to come out on September 29th.

(--MARK-PAUL GOSSELAAR . . . (--a.k.a. Zack) . . . recently mocked the idea of Screech releasing a salacious "Saved By the Bell" exposé. He said, quote, "What is he going to say? We were banging groupies at 14?" --He added, quote, "I can't wait to read his book, because I don't have a memory of a lot of the shows. Maybe it was because I was doing lines off of the audience members' asses. I'm sure he's going to write something crazy like that."

By the way, it wasn't Dustin's decision not to take part in "People" magazine's new reunion issue . . . as it turns out, he was NEVER INVITED. A "People" spokeswoman tells RadarOnline, quote, "[The other] cast members were not comfortable with including him." (--RadarOnline says they were "uncomfortable" BECAUSE of Dustin's book.)

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KEVIN FEDERLINE IS FILMING HIS REALITY SHOW PILOT:

KEVIN FEDERLINE began filming the pilot of his new reality show last week. There's still no official line on the series . . . but it sounds like it'll be a VH1 show, which will also star his new girlfriend, VICTORIA PRINCE. (--It may also feature his two kids with BRITNEY SPEARS . . . three-year-old SEAN PRESTON and two year-old JAYDEN JAMES.)

K-Fed reportedly shot at least two scenes in Las Vegas . . . one at the Hard Rock Hotel's pool . . . and another at a Vegas club, where he and Victoria were partying. (--We'll let you know when we have something OFFICIAL on the show.)

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If you're thinking of dressing up as "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" KATE GOSSELIN for Halloween . . . (--in lieu of something original) . . . check this out:

--For just $14.99 you can buy a wig modeled after Kate's bizarre hairdo from the site BuyCostumes.com. (--Dozens of other companies will probably market similar wigs . . . and most likely, you'll be able to just buy one at your local Halloween shop. But if you'd like to order one from these people, here's the link . . .)

http://www.buycostumes.com/Eight-Is-Too-Much-Adult-Wig/65620/ProductDetail.aspx

ARE YOU MORE THAN FRIENDS?

***FOUR SIGNS YOU'RE MORE THAN FRIENDS***
In the movie "When Harry Met Sally", BILLY CRYSTAL says men and women can never be friends because sex always gets in the way. Whether you believe that or not, friendships DO often turn into budding relationships.

Here are four signs you and YOUR friend are about to become MORE than friends . . .

1.) OTHER FRIENDS START TEASING YOU. They'll probably notice that sparks are flying before YOU do. They'll tease you relentlessly even though you swear nothing is going on.

2.) YOU TALK ON THE PHONE BEFORE BED. You're not SLEEPING together, but you ARE having pillow talk. If you're on the phone every night but you're not dating, you might want to ask yourself why.

3.) YOU GAVE EACH OTHER PET NAMES. If you've been spending so much time together that you've somehow developed pet names for each other, you might as well move in together.

4.) YOU CAN'T STOP TOUCHING. If there's a physical attraction, you'll find any excuse to touch each other. You link fingers when you high-five . . . you lean on each other when you're standing in line . . . and you volunteer to share a seat in a packed car.

--In fact, here's a good rule of thumb . . . If one of you has volunteered to sit on the other's lap more than ONCE in the last month, somebody needs to make a move. (YourTango.com)