SHOW ME THOSE JAZZY HANDS

***VIDEO OF THE DAY***

A weird fan at a Utah Jazz game dances along with the cheerleaders . . . but he does a much worse job at it.

http://thehoopdoctors.com/online2/2009/04/dancing-utah-jazz-fan-should-consider-dancing-with-the-stars/(Search Terms: Utah Jazz fan dancing video)

HOT DOG

MAJOR LEAGUE BALLPARKS WILL SERVE NEARLY 22 MILLION HOT DOGS THIS BASEBALL SEASON:

If you're a baseball fan . . . then I'm sure you're anxiously awaiting Opening Day. Anyway, to mark the occasion, the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (--yes, this is a real thing) has just released its annual survey . . . on ballpark hot dog consumption. According to the Council, nearly 22 MILLION hot dogs will be served at Major League ballparks this baseball season.

If you laid those dogs end-to-end, it would be enough to round the bases 30,186 times . . . or to stretch all the way from Philadelphia to Tampa Bay.

(--If, for some odd reason, you're really into hot dogs, you can check out the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council's official website here . . .)http://www.hot-dog.org/ (PR Newswire)

BLESS YOU

DOES YOUR DOG HAVE . . . ALLERGIES???

If you have allergies, then I don't have to tell you just how miserable this time of year can be. But it turns out humans are NOT the only ones who get allergies. In fact, according to veterinarians at Virginia Tech University . . . as many as ONE in TEN dogs have some sort of allergy, too.

I know what you're thinking . . . "Seriously? What could my dog possibly be allergic to?" Well, the most common dog allergy is to fleas . . . and just a single flea bite can cause an allergic dog to lose its fur. But a lot of dogs are allergic to pollens, molds and grasses . . . as well as certain types of foods . . . just like you and me.

So what can you do if your dog is always scratching itself or getting ear infections . . . which are the two most common signs of dog allergies?

#1.) Vacuum your house often.

#2.) Limit your dog's outdoor time in the morning and evening . . . when pollen counts are at their highest.

#3.) Bathe your dog frequently. (CNN)

TEEN SPEED DEMON

THERE'S A PRODUCT WHICH ALLOWS YOU TO MONITOR YOUR TEEN'S DRIVING SPEED . . . EVEN IF YOU AREN'T IN THE CAR WITH THEM:

Parents . . . do you ever get the feeling that your teen drives like a bat out of heck whenever you're not in the car with them? If so . . . you're going to want to pay attention.

There's a product on the market called the Speed Demon . . . which allows you to keep track of how fast your kid is driving in REAL TIME. And if your kid goes over the speed limit, the Speed Demon will send you a text message or an email to let you know.

So how does this baby work? --Basically, once installed, the Speed Demon gauges how fast your car is traveling. Then it compares that information against GPS coordinates and detailed street maps . . . to determine if your kid is breaking the speed limit. --The Speed Demon costs $250 . . . plus a monthly service fee of $15. (Boston Globe)

(--You can buy the Speed Demon here . . .) http://www.livefastdriveslow.com/

DATING ETIQUETTE

***NINE TIPS ON DATING ETIQUETTE***

Back in the day, guys were expected to hold doors and pull out chairs for their dates. But the roles for men and women aren't as clearly defined anymore. Here are ten dating etiquette tips to help men know what to do, and to help women know what to expect . . .

#1.) SHOULD HE OPEN DOORS? It's a nice touch, but it's not ALWAYS necessary, and it can come off as patronizing if a guy does it EVERY time. For guys, it's a good idea to say, "Let me get the door for you," because it gives her a chance to decline.

#2.) SHOULD HE PUSH IN HER CHAIR? Yes. Most women won't consider it rude if a guy DOESN'T do this . . . but it can't hurt. Guys shouldn't make it a big deal though. Simply touching the chair WHILE the woman pulls it in herself . . . is fine.

#3.) SHOULD HE FACE THE WALL AT A RESTAURANT? Yes. The woman should be treated as the guest of honor. If you're seated at a table and only one seat faces the dining area, the guy should offer it to his date.

#4.) SHOULD HE STAND WHEN SHE LEAVES THE TABLE? It's outdated and unnecessary, but it's a custom some women still might like, because it makes them feel special. If the guy does do it, he should save it for a nice restaurant . . . not Starbucks.

#5.) SHOULD HE TAKE OFF HIS HAT? If it's a first date . . . don't wear a hat in the first place. If it's a more formal date . . . same thing. But if a guy does wear a hat, he should always take it off when entering a building, restaurant, or someone's house.

#6.) SHOULD HE PAY? Actually, the person who asks for the date is supposed to pay. But most women don't know that. And it won't hurt a man's character to at least offer to pick up the check. Even on a FIRST date.

#7.) SHOULD HE OFFER HIS ARM? Anytime a guy's walking side-by-side with a date, it's a romantic gesture, and it's less intimate than holding hands. It's old-school . . . but it will usually put a smile on a woman's face.

#8.) SHOULD HE GIVE HER CABFARE? No. The guy should drive his date home himself, or share a cab that drops HER off first. Above all else, it's the guy's responsibility to make sure his date gets home safely.

#9.) SHOULD HE WALK ON THE CURB SIDE OF THE SIDEWALK? Yes. Before there were cars, horses kicked up mud and dirty water. So it was customary for a man to walk on the CURB SIDE of the sidewalk and shield the woman from the mess.

--It's not considered rude to skip it these days, but walking on the outside of her DOES demonstrate a certain level of class. (Asylum.com)

GET READY TO ANSWER THE PHONE

MTV & JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S NEW SHOW - SNEAK PEAK!

A while back, we heard that JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE was producing a reality series for MTV called "The Phone". On the show, random people would be invited on a mysterious "mission", after answering a strategically hidden cell phone.

If they complete the challenges asked of them, they could pocket a $50,000 cash prize. Anyway, MTV has announced that the show will premiere at 10:00 P.M. on April 21st.

(--It looks pretty INSANE. Check out the trailer, here . . .) http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20269313,00.html

NEW X-MEN MOVIE LEAKED ON-LINE

A FULL-LENGTH VERSION OF "X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE" HAS BEEN LEAKED ONLINE:

On Tuesday, a FULL-LENGTH version of the HUGH JACKMAN movie, "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", was somehow leaked online. (--It happened a full month before the theatrical release. "Wolverine" is scheduled to hit theaters on May 1st.)

It's a so-called "work-print copy" . . . meaning that it's nearly complete, except that some of the special effects are missing, and it contains temporary sound and music. It doesn't sound like anyone knows HOW it leaked yet . . . but you can bet that the studio, 20th Century Fox, is on the case.

In a statement, Fox said, "We forensically mark our content so we can identify sources that make it available or download it. The source of the initial leak and any subsequent postings will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."

Will the leak affect "Wolverine" at the box office??? It's hard to say. In 2003, a work-print of "The Hulk" leaked online two weeks before it was released. It still had a $62 million opening weekend, but then went on to be a box office disappointment.

(--If you don't want to risk having your own ILLEGAL "Wolverine" premiere in your bedroom . . . Hugh Jackman has announced a contest, where you can try to bring the OFFICIAL premiere to your town. Here's the announcement . . .)

A GIFT FROM THE PRESIDENT

BARACK OBAMA GAVE THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND . . . AN IPOD:

You might remember that last month, PRESIDENT OBAMA took some heat after he gave England's Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, a set of classic American movies on DVD . . . which weren't even compatible with British DVD players.

Well, yesterday, Obama reinforced his reputation as a sub-par gift-giver by giving England's QUEEN ELIZABETH a "rare" songbook signed by RICHARD RODGERS (--of RODGERS AND HAMMERSTEIN) . . . along with an iPod.

Of course, like everybody else in the free world, the Queen already has an iPod . . . which she bought back in 2005 at the suggestion of Prince Andrew. In return, the Queen gave Obama a silver-framed signed photo of herself and the Duke of Edinburgh . . . which is a weird gift in its own right . . . but, apparently, it's what the Queen gives all visiting dignitaries.

Then later in the day, MICHELLE OBAMA contributed to our national embarrassment by breaking royal protocol and putting her arm around the Queen . . . which we've been informed is a big-time no-no. (Daily Telegraph / BBC News / Time)

(--Check out a video of the Obamas in London here. Michelle Obama commits her faux pas at 1:15 . . .)http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7977950.stm

STRESS RELIEF FOODS

***FIVE FOODS THAT REDUCE STRESS***

There's a lot to be worried about these days, and even if you're great at dealing with stress, you'll hit your breaking point sooner or later. That's why it's important to find healthy ways to manage your stress level. Here are five foods that might do the trick . . .

#1.) ORANGES. A German study found that if vitamin C is consumed after a stressful situation, it helps return blood pressure and cortisol levels to normal. Plus, it boosts your immune system and keeps you from getting sick . . . which is stressful in and of itself.

#2.) BLUEBERRIES. They're high in vitamin C too, and they're also high in fiber, which helps regulate blood sugar levels. For a lot of people, fluctuating blood sugar levels are a MAJOR contributor to stress.

#3.) DRIED APRICOTS. Most people don't get enough magnesium in their diet, and that can lead to muscle cramps, fatigue, irritability, and insomnia. Dried apricots are filled with magnesium, which reduces stress levels AND is a natural muscle relaxant.

#4.) TURKEY. You've heard of tryptophan, right? The amino acid in turkey that everyone blames for making them sleepy on Thanksgiving? Well, tryptophan is in all the other meats too, at pretty much the same levels. And it triggers the release of serotonin in the brain, and serotonin makes you feel good.

#5.) SALMON. The omega-3 fatty acids found in fish are good for your heart, but they also help relieve stress. A recent study found that omega-3s actually control the cortisol and adrenaline levels in your body and keep them from peaking. (MarieClaire.com)

NEW WAY TO RAISE THE KIDS

THERE'S A NEW PARENTING STYLE . . . CALLED CONSENSUAL LIVING . . . WHICH GIVES KIDS AN EQUAL SAY IN HOW THEY'RE RAISED:

I'm all for "progressive" parenting techniques . . . I suppose. But I just heard about the weirdest parenting technique ever . . . called Consensual Living.

So what does Consensual Living involve? According to the movement's official website, Consensual Living is, "a process, a philosophy, a mindset by which we seek to live in harmony with our families and community. "It involves finding mutually agreed upon solutions, where the needs of both parties are not only considered but addressed. Everyone's wants and needs are equally valid, regardless of age."

In other words, Consensual Living is a parenting style which gives kids an equal say . . . in how they're raised.

The movement's core principles:

#1.) Everyone's wants and needs are equally valid, regardless of age.

#2.) Children can be trusted to know their own minds and bodies.

#3.) Punishments and rewards are tools of manipulation, and when family members work as a team . . . they're unneeded.

#4.) There's ALWAYS a creative solution that works for everyone.

#5.) Each family member has a positive intent and, ultimately, desires harmony.

#6.) When everyone is certain that their needs will be met, they're more likely to branch out and help others meet their needs. (Globe and Mail)

(--Check out the official Consensual Living website here . . .)http://consensual-living.com/

GET A JOB IN THIS ECONOMY

***THREE WAYS YOU CAN USE THE STIMULUS BILL TO FIND A JOB***

Some people support the $787 BILLION stimulus plan that Congress passed in February . . . and some people are still FUMING about it. But if you can't find a job, politics don't matter much. The good news is, some of the stimulus money is starting to be spent.

--So if you're looking for work, there might be new opportunities out there . . . as long as you know where to look. Here are three ways to take advantage of the stimulus bill and find a job . . .

#1.) VISIT A ONE-STOP CAREER CENTER. The stimulus bill provides $3.5 BILLION for job training and another $400 MILLION for employment services. So check out CareerOneStop.org.

--It offers information on 3,000 career centers around the country where you'll be most-likely to see the stimulus money at work.

#2.) APPLY FOR GOVERNMENT JOBS. They're always hiring at state and federal levels. A lot of the stimulus money will go to government agencies . . . from the State Department to the state parks, and everything in between.

--Go to this website address . . . It's JobSearch.USAjobs.gov. You can search different areas of interest and expertise. Plus, you can usually apply online.

#3.) FIND OUT WHO'S GETTING THE MOST MONEY. Officials estimate that 90 PERCENT of the jobs created by the stimulus plan will be in the private sector. Federal and state governments will PLAN projects, but they'll contract out the work.

--Here are some of the industries that will be getting a big chunk of the money:

--THE CONSTRUCTION AND ENGINEERING INDUSTRIES are getting billions of dollars to rebuild roads and bridges . . .

--About $50 billion is going toward NEW ENERGY INITIATIVES . . .

--Much of the $4 billion going to LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES will be used to hire more police officers . . .

--And $155 MILLION has been sent to the Department of Health and Human Services to open 100 NEW HEALTH CENTERS and create 5,500 jobs across the country. (AskMen.com)

STOP THAT BARSTOOL!

A GUY IN OHIO GOT A DUI WHILE DRIVING A MOTORIZED BARSTOOL:

About a month ago, 28-year-old Kile Wygle of Newark, Ohio pounded 15 beers before getting behind the wheel . . . and driving under the influence. Now, obviously, that sounds pretty bad. But there's a catch . . . See, the vehicle Kile was operating WASN'T a car. It was a MOTORIZED BARSTOOL that he'd tricked out with a 5-horsepower motorcycle engine.

According to Kile, the barstool has a top-speed of 38 miles per hour. Anyway, Kile was going about 20 miles per hour when he BIT IT and had to be taken to the hospital . . . where he was treated for minor injuries and . . . get this . . . . . . cited for DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE and driving on a suspended license.

Kile has pleaded not guilty to the charges. His court date hasn't been set yet.(Columbus Dispatch)

(check out a photo of Kile's sweet, souped-up barstool. . .)

APRIL FOOLS - INFO

MUSEUM CURATOR DISCUSSES WHAT MAKES PRANKS SUCCESSFUL

What does it take to trick people on April Fool's Day? The Museum of Hoaxes curator Alex Boese says it takes a lot of planning. Boese adds people are generally conditioned to believe something before they become skeptical about it. He says pulling a massively successful prank that tricks millions of people is more difficult now with the amount of information available on the Internet and with several cable news outlets. Boese says he does not believe the recession and economic crisis is causing people to lose their sense of humor and become more calloused, citing the "War of the Worlds" broadcast during the Great Depression. He says even though that wasn't an April Fool's Day prank, it is one of the greatest tricks ever played.

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APRIL FOOL'S DAY OFFICIALLY BEGAN IN FRANCE

Unlike most other holidays, just how April Fool's Day, which is also known as "All Fool's Day," began, is not clear. Some historians believe the tradition evolved simultaneously in several cultures at about the same time, linked to the celebrations celebrating the first day of spring. Ancient cultures, like those in Rome and India, celebrated New Year's Day on April 1st because it closely follows the vernal equinox.

France might be able to claim bragging rights to the holiday because the first recorded April Fool's Day was in France in 1582. Prior to that year, the new year was celebrated for eight days beginning on March 25th and ending April 1st. When the Gregorian calendar was introduced, New Year's Day was moved to January 1st. Since there was no way to inform people living away from cities that the calendar had been changed, for years afterwards, people continued to mark April 1st as the new year. These people were called "fools" and were subject to tricks and ridicule for their mistake. Today school children in France like to tape a picture of a fish on the back of their schoolmates and yell "April Fish" when the prank is discovered.

Over time the harassment evolved into a tradition of playing pranks or telling lies on the first day of April. This tradition was gradually carried over into England and Scotland in the eighteenth century. You can thank the Scots for originating the "kick me" sign. That prank had its roots in Scotland where April 1st was devoted to mischief involving the backside of the body. April Fool's Day traditions gradually came to the new world through the colonists who settled in America.

You don't have to worry about having an pranks played on you if you are south of the border on April 1st. In Mexico, they don't celebrate April Fool's Day then, but you might find a "kick me" sign on your back if you go there on December 28th. That's when they celebrate their version of April Fool's Day.

April Fool's Day pranks range from tying someone's shoe laces together, to setting a clock wrong and can even be a widespread prank like when the BBC ran an in-depth documentary about "spaghetti farmers" and how they harvest their crops from spaghetti trees. The best news about April Fool's Day could be though, that you don't have to buy a card or gift to remember someone to mark the occasion. So if someone pats you on the back today, it might be in your best interest to check yourself in a mirror.

ECONOMY-RELATED DEPRESSION HELP

THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAS SET UP A WEBSITE TO HELP YOU DEAL WITH YOUR ECONOMY-RELATED DEPRESSION:

If you're feeling depressed about the economy, then you might want to check out the new website from the Department of Health and Human Services.

--It's called "Getting Through Tough Economic Times" . . . and it's just LOADED with "useful" tips for dealing with economy-related depression. --For example, here are some warning signs . . . courtesy of the federal government . . . that you or a loved one might be considering suicide:

#1.) Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself.

#2.) Looking for ways to kill oneself

.#3.) Thinking or fantasying about suicide. (--Yes, it actually says fantasying, not fantasizing.)

#4.) Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life. (--In other words, it's a clear sign that you're thinking about committing suicide . . . if you're thinking about committing suicide. You can take a look at this website here . . .)http://www.samhsa.gov/economy/(Drudge Report)

ROCK ON METALLICA!!

METALLICA STILL RULEZ!!

If you haven't seen them yet, there are a couple amusing "Guitar Hero: Metallica" commercial on TV featuring legendary college basketball coaches Bobby Knight, Roy Williams, Rick Pitino, and Mike Krzyzewski.

Oh, and they include METALLICA too. (--It's more of those "Risky Business"-themed "Guitar Hero" ads. Check it out . . .)

NAZZY LOVES THE GADGETS

THE 2008 "GADGET OF THE YEAR" IS . . . THE IPHONE 3G:

Yesterday, the website Engadget released its annual list of the best electronic devices of the year. Here's a quick look at some of the "Engadget Award" winners for 2008 . . . (--So you know, Engadget breaks the awards down into TWO categories: One set of winners are chosen by the website's readers . . . and the other set are chosen by the website's editors.)

--Best Gadget of the Year: iPhone 3G (--both editors and readers)

--Worst Gadget of the Year: Blackberry Storm (--editors); Zune 3.0 MP3 player (--readers)

--Best Game Console of the Year: Xbox 360 (--editors); Nintendo Wii (--readers)

(--Check out the full list of winners here . . .)http://www.engadget.com/2009/03/30/the-winners-of-the-2008-engadget-awards/

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!

***FOUR THINGS SINGLE PEOPLE HATE TO HEAR***

A lot of single people yap about how hard it is to find someone. And we're all sick of hearing it, right? The problem is, most single people get the same old advice over and over again. And it doesn't help.

Here are the four things single people hate to hear . . .

#1.) IF YOU SAY . . . "GET BACK OUT THERE" . . . They think you just don't understand single life. Single people don't hide out in their apartments all day. They go out with friends, they hit bars, they meet people, they flirt.

--So single people are actually more active than couples. So telling them to "get back out there" probably won't do much. Instead, brainstorm and try to come up with new places to meet other singles. Remember, not that many lasting relationships start at the bar.

#2.) IF YOU SAY . . . "YOU'RE BEING TOO PICKY" . . . They think you're saying they should settle for the next idiot that shows the least bit of interest . . . regardless of looks or personality. Saying they're being too picky WON'T make them LESS picky.

--It'll just make them angry . . . and kill their self-confidence.

#3.) IF YOU SAY . . . "MAYBE YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH" . . . They'll resent you for it. Even if they're NOT trying as hard as they can, they probably THINK they are. So it's better to encourage them than to imply that they're lazy.

#4.) IF YOU SAY . . . "MAYBE YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD" . . . They'll just get frustrated. You're right that they can't FORCE a relationship to happen. But instead of telling them to stop trying, tell them to be patient. They'll find someone eventually. (Yahoo.com)

JYY HERO'S OF THE WEEK (3-31)

TWO MEN CAUGHT A TODDLER THAT FELL OUT OF A THIRD-STORY WINDOW:

Now it's time to recognize our "JYY Heroes of the Day" . . . On Sunday, 45-year-old Robert Lemire was talking on his cell phone outside a pizza place in Lawrence, Mass when he saw 18-month-old Caliah Clark dangling from a THIRD-STORY WINDOW across the street.

Robert says, he heard some commotion across the street and noticed some toys go out the window. A couple minutes later, he heard a baby cry and . . . looked across and there was a baby hanging from the window sill. Without thinking, Robert ran across the street . . . and nearly got hit by a car in the process. But it's a good thing, because just a few seconds later . . . Caliah FELL.

Fortunately, Robert and another man . . . 23-year-old Alex Day . . . managed to catch her before she hit the ground. Caliah was taken to the hospital . . . but she's going to be OK. According to a representative for the Lawrence police department, "[Robert and Alex] are heroes, no question about it." … For that, Robert Lemire & Alex Day.. We dub you, THE JYY HERO’S OF THE DAY!!

If you have a heroic story like that of Robert & Alex, send them to me!

Check out the WMUR news story here: http://www.wmur.com/video/19048854/

Check out the Local Paper's Story on the miracle: http://www.eagletribune.com/punews/local_story_089182120.html

EXTRA CRISPY POT HOLES?

KFC WANTS TO REPAIR YOUR CITY'S POTHOLES (BUT THERE'S A CATCH):

Last week, KFC started a new advertising campaign . . . called "Fresh Tastes Best" . . . which involves repairing potholes, on their dime, in cities around the country. The only catch? For their effort, any city that takes them up on their offer would have to allow KFC to leave behind a stenciled brand on the repaired patch of road . . . informing people the pothole was, "Re-Freshed by KFC".

So far, KFC's hometown of Louisville, Kentucky, is the only city to take the restaurant up on its offer. (Chicago Tribune)

THAT'S A BAD WORKOUT

***FOUR SIGNS YOUR WORKOUT ISN'T WORKING OUT***

If you've been working out for weeks but haven't shed a pound, then you might not be approaching exercise the right way. Are you unmotivated? Are you too tired to hit the gym every day?

Here are four signs your workout isn't working out . . .

#1.) YOU'RE MAKING EXCUSES. If you keep finding reasons to skip the gym, or if you're itching to leave as soon as you get there, then you're probably not emotionally invested in your workout routine. Do you have a specific goal in mind?

--If not, figure one out. It's hard to get a good workout if you aren't striving toward something concrete.

#2.) YOU FEEL SICK AFTER YOU EXERCISE. You're supposed to be a LITTLE worn down after a good workout, but if you're crippled by cramps, nausea, and headaches, or you can't seem to shake a cold, then you might be overtraining.

--Too much exercise can hurt your immune system. If you think you've been overtraining, take a few days off from exercise, take naps, relax, and drink plenty of water.

#3.) YOU'RE IN A LOT OF PAIN. You should be sore after a good workout . . . especially if you just started . . . but if you're in excruciating pain in your joints, you might be developing an exercise-related injury. Make sure you're using the correct posture when lifting weights.

--And see a doctor if the pain lasts more than a few days.

#4.) YOU'RE NOT SEEING ANY RESULTS. No exercise plan works overnight, but if you SHOULD be seeing results and aren't, you might need to switch things up. Go for a swim instead of a jog. Hit a Pilates class instead of doing your regular ab workout.

--And remember, you have to burn about 3,500 calories to lose just one pound of fat. So make sure you're on a healthy diet. If you're overeating, you're just making things harder on yourself. (SheKnows.com)

HOW BIZARRE NEWS (3/30/09)

SYNCHRONIZED OFFICE SWIMMING

A group of Russian women have become internet stars after performing a synchronised swimming routine - at their desks. The women, who work for an architects' firm, filmed their routine for an Olympics-themed competition. They beat hundreds of other entries to scoop the grand prize - and their video has attracted more than a million hits on YouTube.

The clip was filmed secretly during lunch breaks. Worker Mosha Dugina said: "We were all really energetic and enthusiastic to do it. "It was such a breath of fresh air to do something where we got the chance to show off a little and show people that we have beautiful long legs. "Most of the time we just sit by our desks and all everyone normally sees is our top halves."

Llya Korneev from competition organisers Affect.ru said: "The competition attracted hundreds of applications, but it was apparent from early on that there was going to be one clear winner. "We thought that was the finish, but the girls' success continued when the clip went on to Europe. The clip attracted over a million views in its first few weeks." Enjoy!

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A TURKEY VULTURE CRASHED THROUGH A GUY'S WINDSHIELD AS HE WAS DRIVING DOWN THE HIGHWAY:

On Friday, 35-year-old Jorge Hurtado of Hopatcong, New Jersey was driving his minivan down the highway when a turkey vulture swooped down and crashed through his windshield. Jorge says, quote, "I saw a truck slow down and saw the bird pop out from in front of the truck. As fast as I saw it, the bird flew in our direction. There was a big bang. When I opened my eyes the bird was through the windshield."

The vulture . . . which landed in the van's middle seat . . . continued to flop around for a few minutes while Jorge pulled over and called 911. Fortunately, no one was injured. (Daily Record)

(--Check out a picture of this massive turkey vulture and the damage it inflicted on Jorge's van here . . .)