HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (03-24-11)

SHOWBIZ TRAGEDY

Elizabeth Taylor Has Died:

ELIZABETH TAYLOR died yesterday morning of congestive heart failure. She was 79. --Her rep said, quote, "She was surrounded by her children: Michael Wilding, Christopher Wilding, Liza Todd and Maria Burton." (--Liz is also survived by 10 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.) --"Though she had recently suffered a number of complications, her condition had stabilized and it was hoped that she would be able to return home. Sadly, this was not to be." --Elizabeth Taylor got her start in showbiz as a child. She starred in two of the Lassie movies, 1943's "Lassie Come Home" and "Courage of Lassie" in 1946. But her big break came at the age of 12, when she starred in the 1944 movie "National Velvet". --She went on to receive five Oscar nominations for Best Actress. She won two of them: For "Butterfield 8" in 1961 and "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" in 1967. --Before those two wins, she had three other nominations in the 1950s for "Raintree County", "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" and "Suddenly, Last Summer". --She also received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award at the 1993 Oscars for her charitable works. --Her other films include the 1949 version of "Little Women", "A Place in the Sun" and "The Taming of the Shrew". She was also the bride in the original 1950 version of "Father of the Bride". SPENCER TRACY played her dad. --1963 saw Liz in her most iconic role, as the lead in "Cleopatra". It was the highest-grossing movie of that year . . . but since it cost so much to make, it actually LOST money, and it failed with critics as well. --But it made Liz the first Hollywood star to make $1 million for a movie. --Liz's acting career tapered off in the 1980s. Although she famously appeared as the voice of Maggie on a 1992 episode of "The Simpsons" in which Maggie spoke her first word. (--Trivia: It was "Daddy".)


SEX SYMBOL:

--Liz Taylor will probably always be considered one of the most beautiful actresses of all time . . . so not surprisingly, there was never any shortage of MALE ACTION in her life. (--Just how gorgeous was Liz Taylor back in the day? Check out these pics.) --Liz was married EIGHT times to SEVEN different men. She and RICHARD BURTON made The Big Mistake twice . . . once in the '60s and then again in the '70s. --Her last marriage, to some no-name construction worker named Larry Fortensky, ended in 1996 . . . after which she obviously learned her lesson. --Her first husband, Conrad "Nicky" Hilton, was PARIS HILTON'S grand-uncle. -She was also the ANGELINA JOLIE of her day . . . after she stole EDDIE FISHER from his wife, DEBBIE REYNOLDS. -Eddie and Debbie were one of America's most beloved celebrity couples. Their marriage even resulted in the creation of the future Princess Leia, CARRIE FISHER. --But then, sometime in the late 1950s, Liz decided that SHE wanted Eddie. Long story short, Liz and Eddie were married in 1959. (--They divorced five years later, when she left him for her "Cleopatra" co-star, RICHARD BURTON.) --Debbie doesn't hold a grudge anymore. Or, if she does, she's really good at hiding it. She issued a statement yesterday, saying, quote, "It was a long productive career, and she was the most glamorous and sexual star of our generation. --"No one else could equal Elizabeth's beauty and sexuality. Women liked her and men adored her, and her love for her children is enduring. She was a symbol of stardom. Her legacy will last." (--Eddie Fisher died last September.)

ACTIVISM AND CAPITALISM:

--In the 1980s, Liz pretty much abandoned her acting career in favor of activism . . . becoming a huge supporter of AIDS charities and eventually establishing the Elizabeth Taylor Aids Foundation. --She also launched her own line of jewelry and perfumes. Her fragrances . . . "Passion", "White Diamonds" and "Black Pearls", have earned an estimated $200 million.

Elizabeth Taylor: The Tributes:

Just about any celebrity you can name has issued a statement or Tweeted something about ELIZABETH TAYLOR'S death. Here are some of the tributes:

--ELTON JOHN: "We have just lost a Hollywood giant. More importantly, we have lost an incredible human being."

--BARBRA STREISAND: "It's the end of an era. It wasn't just her beauty or her stardom. It was her humanitarianism. She put a face on HIV/AIDS. She was funny. She was generous. She made her life count."

--CARRIE FISHER: "If my father had to divorce my mother for anyone, I'm so grateful that it was Elizabeth. This was a remarkable woman who led her life to the fullest rather than complacently following one around."

--JOAN COLLINS: "She was the last of the true Hollywood icons, a great beauty, a great actress and continually fascinating to the world throughout her tumultuous life and career."

--BARRY MANILOW: "What I'll always remember about Elizabeth was her laugh. She would walk into a room looking like a princess and suddenly there would be this cackle that filled the room that would crack us all up."

--LIZA MINNELLI: "She was a true star, because she not only had beauty and notoriety; Elizabeth Taylor had talent. As a friend she was always, always there for me. I'll miss her for the rest of my life, but I was so lucky to have known her."

--LARRY KING: "Elizabeth Taylor was a great friend, a great star and one gutsy woman. She was so special. You won't see the likes of her again."

--MICKEY ROONEY: "Our loss in the motion picture business with Elizabeth Taylor's passing is momentous. She was a lady who gave of herself to everyone. I know I consider it a great personal loss." (--Mickey was her costar in "National Velvet".)

--Both TITO and LA TOYA JACKSON also had fond words for Liz, on behalf of their brother. And there are TONS more. Although frankly, the others don't really matter. Unless you care how Liz Taylor's death has affected Kathy Griffin, Dita Von Teese and the Kardashian sisters. (--You can read a huge selection of them here.)

--But there is one we just have to share. It's from ADRIANNE CURRY. Say what you want about her, but whether she's exposing her body or her lack of intelligence, she has an uncanny knack of making people take notice. --Here's her "tribute" to Elizabeth Taylor . . . quote, "Goodbye, Liz Taylor . . . one of the most beautiful faces to have ever lived . . . and one of the most symmetrical." (???)


Those Pigs from the Westboro Baptist Church Are Going to Protest Elizabeth Taylor's Funeral:

The disgusting pigs from the Westboro Baptist "Church" have sent word that they're going to protest ELIZABETH TAYLOR'S funeral . . . because she's a gay-friendly AIDS activist. --Remember, these are the soulless degenerates who show up at the funerals of U.S. soldiers . . . and anyone else they please . . . with signs that say "God Hates Gays". Although they don't usually use terms as neutral as "gays". --Obviously, they probably still consider AIDS some kind of plague straight from God against gay people. So anyone who tries to cure it is EVIL. --In announcing the protest, they also noted that Elizabeth is most likely, quote, "in hell and getting mad as a wet hen."


Elizabeth Taylor: A History of Health Problems:

When ELIZABETH TAYLOR was 12 years old and filming her breakout role in "National Velvet", she fell from a horse and suffered what would become a chronic injury. And that was just the start of a long line of health problems. They include:

--An emergency tracheotomy in 1961.

--Severe respiratory problems in 1990.

--Double hip replacement surgery in 1995.

--An irregular heartbeat in 1996.

--A benign brain tumor in 1997.

--A broken back in 1998.

--A SECOND broken back in 1999.

--Pneumonia in 2000.

--Skin cancer in 2002.

--A broken foot in 2003.

--Heart surgery in 2009.
--Not to mention the congestive heart failure she'd been suffering from for the last decade, which ultimately led to her death.
Liz Taylor-Related Randoms:

#1.) Some time ago, the "New York Times" worked up an obituary for ELIZABETH TAYLOR, just so they'd have it ready. Well, Liz ended up outliving the guy who wrote it. His name was Mel Gussow, and he died in 2005. (Full Story)

#2.) Here's that CLASSIC video from a few years ago of Elizabeth Taylor's reaction when she was asked if she'd get married again. (Full Story)

#3.) Late last year, Elizabeth did one of those 25 Things You Don't Know About Me for "Us Weekly". One of them, ironically, was, quote, "I am sincerely not worried about getting old." (Full Story)

#4.) Turner Classic Movies is doing a 24-hour Elizabeth Taylor marathon, beginning Sunday, April 10th at 6:00 A.M. (Full Story)


Did Tiger Woods' Girlfriend Used to Make Crayon Drawings for Him?

I don't know whether to laugh or be totally creeped out about TIGER WOODS dating a 22-year-old girl who'd been his neighbor since she was SEVEN YEARS OLD. --But I have to admit, this one made me laugh: --"Us Weekly" says that when Alyse Lahti Johnston was a kid, she used to make CRAYON DRAWINGS for her future boyfriend. -A source says, quote, "[She would] draw good luck pictures for Tiger before his tournaments." (--Alyse is 22 . . . Tiger is 35. Her stepfather is one of the big shots at Tiger's sports management agency. They've been neighbors for about 15 years.)


Mark Zuckerberg Is Now Officially "In a Relationship":

Facebook founder MARK ZUCKERBERG has been dating his girlfriend Priscilla Chan for years. But he JUST got around to updating his relationship status on his own website. --This past Sunday, he finally admitted that he's "In a Relationship." (--Here's the screen shot.)



Is Ashley Greene dating the New Captain America"?

ASHLEY GREENE is fresh off her breakup with JOE JONAS . . . and already moving on to the next guy. --She was seen flirting with the new "Captain America", CHRIS EVANS, at a Hollywood club the other night. A witness says, quote, "Ashley was all over [Chris], and he certainly didn't mind. --"They were dancing together very closely. It looked like they had a lot of sexual chemistry." (--Ashley has also been linked to Jared Followill from Kings of Leon since she and Joe broke up.)


Jessica Biel . . . Is Gerard Butler datin' That?

Now that JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE is out of the picture, JESSICA BIEL is free to engage in sexual congress with her male co-stars like a good actress should. --And the games may have already begun. Jessica is in Louisiana, shooting a movie called "Playing the Field". Her co-star is GERARD BUTLER. And they might just be co-stars WITH BENEFITS. --Sources say they've spent four nights together over the past week or so. And while they were sometimes accompanied by other crewmembers, they definitely looked like they were enjoying each other's company. --One night, a whole group from the movie went out to celebrate a guy's birthday. A source says, quote, "When Gerard got there, he made a beeline for Jessica. He was really flirting with her."


Check Out Ellen Page As a Kind Of Sexy Superhero:

Most people don't think of "Juno" star ELLEN PAGE as the kind of girl who could pull off the whole "sexy superhero" thing. --But she puts on the tights in a new movie called "Super", co-starring RAINN WILSON from "The Office". And she looks pretty good. (--Check her out here. The movie hits theaters April 1st.)
LINDSAY LOHAN LUNACY

Lindsay Lohan Has Rejected a Plea Deal . . . She's Going to Try Her Luck in Front of a Jury:

LINDSAY LOHAN has officially informed prosecutors in Los Angeles that they can take their plea deal and STICK IT. -Okay, that's probably not how she said it. But she did reject the deal, because it would have resulted in guaranteed jail time. Instead, she's going to plead her case in front of a jury. --She's now due back in court April 22nd for a preliminary hearing. That's where a judge will decide whether or not Lindsay's felony theft case even goes to trial in the first place. --The judge will also decide whether the alleged theft of a necklace violates Lindsay's DUI probation.


"Good Morning America" Would Like Chris Brown to Come Back:

Despite his window-breaking incident the other day, "Good Morning America" host ROBIN ROBERTS says she'd like CHRIS BROWN back on the show. --She says, quote, "We extended the invitation to him and we sure hope he takes us up on it, because we'd love to have another chat with him." --Robin also insists that she talked to Chris before the interview about what questions she was going to ask him . . . --Quote: "Anytime we have a guest here on the program, we let them know ahead of time the subject matter, the topics that we're going to discuss . . . Even right before the interview, I said that to Chris and I was shocked like everybody else was." --Meanwhile, sources at ABC told TMZ that they're NOT going to file a police report . . . meaning that Chris is indeed off the hook. --By the way . . . at this time next week, Chris might be celebrating his first #1 album. "F.A.M.E." is on course to sell more than 250,000 copies in its first week. It came out on Tuesday.


Donald Trump Wants President Obama to Show Us His Birth Certificate:

DONALD TRUMP hit "The View" yesterday . . . and continued his little charade of gently questioning whether PRESIDENT OBAMA was born in the United States. --While he conceded that Obama was PROBABLY born in the U.S., Trump kept harping on the point, saying, quote, "Why doesn't he [show his birth certificate]?" --Obviously, all the yentas except ELISABETH HASSELBECK jumped all over Trump. -WHOOPI GOLDBERG called it, quote, "the biggest pile of dog mess I've heard in ages." -She added, quote, "No one has ever asked GEORGE BUSH [for his birth certificate]. I'm sorry, is Hawaii . . . (--where Obama was born) . . . not part of the United States?" (--Check out video here.)


25 Things You Don't Know About Britney Spears:

BRITNEY SPEARS did one of those 25 Things You Don't Know About Me for "Us Weekly". Here are the highlights . . .

--"I take two baths a day." (--Could've fooled me.)

--"I make a mean fake dinosaur when playing with the two loves of my life, Sean, 5, and Jayden, 4."

--"I can eat chocolate morning, noon and night."

--"I collect dolls."

--"I really want to learn another language."

--"I played basketball . . . guard . . . in high school."

--"I don't own a cellphone."

--"I make my own bed every morning." (--Check out the full list here.)
Michael Douglas and Matt Damon Will Kiss More Than Once in the Liberace Movie:

Fans of man-on-man kissing . . . (--No, I'm not talking to you, Victoria Jackson.) . . . will be happy to hear that there's going to be plenty of it in the LIBERACE movie. --As you may recall, MICHAEL DOUGLAS is portraying the flamboyantly gay piano-playing genius . . . and MATT DAMON is his lover. --Damon says, quote, "It's scripted that there's more than one [kiss]. I never thought I would get to kiss Michael Douglas."


Check Out the "Captain America" Trailer:

"Captain America" hits theaters on July 22nd. The trailer hit the web yesterday. (--Check it out here.) (--The best part of the trailer is seeing how they used digital technology to make CHRIS EVANS into a scrawny little nerd before he's transformed into Captain America.) (--The worst part is the TIMING. Unveiling this trailer where they inject a little dude with some kind of drug that results in instant muscles at the same time the BARRY BONDS trial is going on? Not really ideal.)


"AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY

Randy Jackson Loved Jacob Lusk's Performance Last Night, and *May* Have Called It the Best Performance in "Idol" History:

The judges absolutely loved JACOB LUSK'S performance of MARVIN GAYE'S "You're All I Need to Get By" on "American Idol" last night. --As soon as he was finished, STEVEN TYLER immediately walked up on stage to hug him . . . JENNIFER LOPEZ gave him a standing ovation . . . --And in the heat of the moment, RANDY JACKSON may have called it the best performance in the HISTORY OF "IDOL". Or maybe not. --He gets tripped up, but it sounds like he's saying, quote, "Jacob, listen, this is YOUR best performance on this entire stage in this entire history of this show." --So take that for what it's worth (--You can check out the video, here. What do you think he's saying? If he IS saying it's the best performance in "Idol" history, do you agree?)


Is Glenn Beck Thinking of Launching His Own Cable Channel?

Fox News curmudgeon GLENN BECK is reportedly "mulling" the possibility of launching his own cable news network. This comes on the heels of talk that Fox News is "mulling" the idea of not renewing his contract, which expires in December. --But for now, that's just a lot of speculative "mulling," and nothing more. --The "New York Times" has reported that the Fox News Channel may dump Beck because of declining ratings. That's the word from "anonymous sources." --Those sources now say Beck has been considering a, quote, "partial or wholesale takeover of a cable channel" for over a year now. That, or he could expand his online subscription video service. --Fox News executives haven't commented on the report . . . and Beck is merely saying that he's happy where he is. --His statement says, quote, "[Fox News] has built the most important voice in America today . . . and it is an honor to do my show there every night. I have no intention whatsoever of doing the show I am doing now anywhere else."


Ed Harris Will Play John McCain to Julianne Moore's Sarah Palin:

ED HARRIS will play JOHN MCCAIN in "Game Change" . . . the upcoming HBO movie about McCain's 2008 presidential campaign. This is the same project that has JULIANNE MOORE playing SARAH PALIN. --There's still no word on when it might premiere. --Ed hasn't done a lot of high-profile stuff recently, but you'll remember him as the government agent in "A Beautiful Mind", the TV producer in "The Truman Show", the renegade Marine in "The Rock", and one of the NASA guys in "Apollo 13". (--Here are some pictures of Ed Harris. He could definitely pull off McCain.)


TV REMINDERS

--"American Idol" [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Sugarland and Jennifer Hudson perform. Jennifer was a finalist on Season 3, and she's promoting this week's release of her second album, "I Remember Me".)

--"The Office" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on NBC. (--Michael finally asks Holly the big question . . . and the branch holds a garage sale in the warehouse.)

--"Grey's Anatomy" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Mark and Arizona plan a baby shower for Callie, while Richard tries to get Adele into the Alzheimer's trial.)

--"Man vs. Wild" [6th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery Channel.

--"Jersey Shore" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV.

--"Fairly Legal" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on USA.

--"Private Practice" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Sheldon falls for a woman who criticizes Violet's book at the launch party, played by "ER's" Alex Kingston.)

--"Archer" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on FX. (--"Glee's" Darren Criss guest stars when Archer discovers that the chemotherapy drugs he's been taking are phony.)

--"The Hard Times of RJ Berger" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on MTV.

--"John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . Midnight to 1:00 A.M. on Comedy Central. (--Comedians Kyle Kinane, Glenn Wool, Rory Scovel and Pete Holmes perform.)


BIEBER FEVER

And Now . . . You Can Pay Money to Have Your Picture Taken with Strands of Justin Bieber's Hair!!!

Bieber Fever makes people do strange things. Which is why this is probably going to be a huge hit . . . --If you're in Miami Beach next week, you . . . or your daughter . . . will have the opportunity to pay money to have your picture taken with JUSTIN BIEBER'S hair. A few strands of it, which are no longer connected to Justin. No joke. --Earlier this month, Justin gave ELLEN DEGENERES some of his shorn hair in a clear box, which she auctioned off for charity. The online casino GoldenPalace.com bought it for $40,668, and they said they'd use it to raise more money for charity. --The hair will be out "on loan" at Miami's Lucky Strikes Lanes and Lounge next Tuesday . . . where they'll allow people to take pictures with it, in exchange for a "suggested donation." The proceeds will go to the relief efforts in Japan. (--It's unclear if the "suggested donation" will be up to your discretion . . . or if they'll be providing the amount for you.) --The first 50 fans who make a donation will score a Justin Bieber poster.


Lady Gaga Thinks Rebecca Black Is a "Genius", But She Hasn't Seen Her "Friday" Video:

LADY GAGA spoke at a Google event on Tuesday, and someone asked her for her thoughts on "Friday" superstar REBECCA BLACK. And get this: She IS a fan. But not because of Rebecca's "talent." --Lady Gaga said, quote, "I say, Rebecca Black is a genius . . . and anyone who's telling her she's cheesy is full of (crap)." --That being said, she did note that she hasn't even seen the "Friday" video. She seemed to be speaking generally against making fun of young people who are trying to follow their dreams. (--Which of course, IS a valid point.) --Lady Gaga said she thought it was "fantastic" that young artists have things like YouTube to use as platforms to share their talents, and gain exposure . . . and that she's also a, quote, "child of the dot-com era." --She added, quote, "We experience music through the Internet. It has really great effects, and also has really negative effects. The negative effect is that you put your songs and your soul into a computer . . . and [it] spits out sharks." (--She seemed to be talking more about wanting people to experience music personally, outside of other people's comments on message boards and stuff. But I think the point extends to situations like Rebecca Black.)
Other Highlights from Lady Gaga: Censorship, Tattoos and Reality TV:

LADY GAGA shared her thoughts on Malaysian radio stations censoring the gay-friendly lyrics from her single, "Born This Way". --She said, quote, "Well, obviously I disagree with it, otherwise I wouldn't have specifically put those words in a song that I knew would be put on Top 40 radio. --"What I would say for all the young people in Malaysia that want those words to be played on the radio: It is your job and your duty as young people to have your voices heard. You must do everything you can if you want to be liberated by your society." --Lady Gaga also talked about her tattoos, and explained that she's intentionally keeping them all on the left side of her body. --She said, quote, "It was actually per my father's request. He asked that I remain, on one side, slightly normal. So I only have my tattoos on my left side. I think he sees this as my Marilyn Monroe side and he sees this as my Iggy Pop side." (--Here are a few pictures of Lady Gaga's tattoos.) --When asked for something she WON'T do, Lady Gaga said, quote, "You will never see me do reality television. Don't even ask. It will never happen. It's just, I'm not that kind of person. My whole life is a performance piece. --"So I don't need to get my picture taken to feel like I'm in a moment of art." --Gaga also described her upcoming album "Born This Way" as, quote, "avant-garde techno rock." She added, quote, "There's a lot of rock influences on the album, but not in a 'This is a rock music record' kind of way . . . --"I have sort of created a genre of metal dance techno pop music with a lot of rock anthemic choruses, because that is the music that I love." --And then she showed some BIG love for . . . BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. --She said, quote, "I'm actually really obsessed with Bruce Springsteen. My father used to play a lot of [his] records when I was a kid, and he was blue collar America. --"And in a way, I related to Bruce because I watched my father, a blue collar American citizen, relate to Bruce and I think that in a social way, my fans feel blue collar. They feel like they're the underdogs that will someday be the winners." (--You can find video of the full interview, here. ***WARNING***: It contains UNCENSORED PROFANITY . . . and it's an hour and 11 minutes long.)


Gwen Stefani Has Donated $1 Million to Japan:

NO DOUBT singer GWEN STEFANI has donated $1 MILLION to the relief efforts in Japan. Specifically, she gave it to Save the Children's Japan Earthquake-Tsunami Children in Emergency Fund. (--SANDRA BULLOCK already gave $1 million to the Red Cross.) --Gwen said, quote, "I've been inspired by Japan for many years . . . the disaster in Japan is beyond heartbreaking and I want to do anything I can to help." --She's also making a limited edition "Harajuku Lovers" shirt available on NoDoubt.com, beginning next week. All the proceeds will go to Japan. And she's also organizing a charity auction, in which fans can bid on the chance to meet her. (--Gwen had a dance troupe called the Harajuku Girls, which were inspired by Japanese fashion and culture.) (--It drew some criticism, specifically from Korean-American comedienne MARGARET CHO, for reinforcing negative stereotypes of Asian women.) (--Here are some pictures of Gwen and the Harajuku Girls.)


Michael Stipe Writes His Songs on His iPhone:

R.E.M. has a new album out called 'Collapse Into Now', and MICHAEL STIPE says he writes his lyrics on his iPhone now. -He explains, quote, "My notepad is my iPhone . . . and in fact, I recorded and wrote this entire record on my phone. I love technology for that, it's so much easier than having scraps of paper everywhere." --It's unclear what he means by "recording" music on his phone. (--Maybe he's referring to the old-school meaning of "recording" . . . as in "documenting." Considering he's talking about new technology, that would be a little ironic.) (--By the way, Michael uses his phone for MORE than just writing lyrics and actually making calls . . . presumably.) (--A couple of years ago, some pictures of Michael, his boyfriend and a few young houseguests popped up online. They'd taken pictures of themselves . . . with their phones . . . in a BATHROOM.) (--You can revisit the pictures, here. ***WARNING***: They are NOT clothed all that well, on purpose, and one of the guys is showing off his naked backside. Michael is in the top picture, and his boyfriend is in the next one down.)


Travis Barker Only Sold 28,000 Copies of His Hip-Hop Album:

BLINK-182 drummer TRAVIS BARKER released a hip-hop collaboration disc called "Give the Drummer Some" last week, but it tanked pretty hard. The disc made it into the Top 10 at #9 with just 28,000 copies. --The band RISE AGAINST had the week's highest debut, coming in at #2 with 85,000 copies of their new album, "Endgame".

50 Cent Loves Making Fun of Ja Rule:

When JA RULE pleaded guilty to attempted criminal possession of a weapon in December, 50 CENT mocked him on Twitter. --Among other things, he said, quote, "Ja [Rule] came out the courtroom yelling who the (eff) canceled Christmas. LOL. Come on it's only 721 days, stop crying. It's only 104 weeks. Wipe ya nose sucka. Be a man!!!!! LOL." --Well, yesterday Ja Rule pleaded guilty to three counts of tax evasion, which could add YEARS to his impeding two-year prison sentence. And again, 50 Cent laughed at him on Twitter. --This time, he Tweeted, quote, "Damn you don't want to pay taxes fool. Take three more years hahaha. Oh (crap), I'm crying LMAO." --He also re-Tweeted someone who said, quote, "Ja Rule pleads guilty to tax evasion . . . aww this is the biggest headline for Ja since @50cent destroyed his career." --And he re-Tweeted someone else who said, quote, "I know @50cent is laughing his (butt) off at Jeffrey." (--Jeffrey is Ja Rule's real first name.
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THURSDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS

PAZ DE LA HUERTA . . . who plays STEVE BUSCEMI'S girlfriend on "Boardwalk Empire" . . . was arrested Tuesday night . . . because she punched another woman in the face and threw a glass at her at a New York City bar this past Sunday. They were fighting over a guy. LINDSAY LOHAN was there, and she helped the other girl pick shards of glass out of her leg. (Full Story)


ROB KARDASHIAN . . . the younger brother of KIM, KOURTNEY and KHLOE . . . had an emergency appendectomy on Tuesday. (Full Story)


BILLY RAY CYRUS says he could have been a better dad, instead of being a friend to his kids. (Full Story)


PIERS MORGAN is ticked off because Delta caused him to miss out on some "America's Got Talent" auditions. (Full Story)


A new book claims that old school actors DONALD SUTHERLAND and JULIE CHRISTIE really had sex while filming their love scene in the 1973 thriller "Don't Look Now". (Full Story)


NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

Want Your Kids To Eat Vegetables? Just Pretend That You Don't Hate Eating Them:

Here's a new strategy to get your kids to start eating vegetables . . . without having to drown them in cheese or deep fry them. --According to a new study, children will eat vegetables if they see their parents eating them . . . AND enjoying them. --If a child sees you eating vegetables with a smile on your face, they'll be more likely to want to eat them. But if it looks like you're choking them down, they'll have even less interest in eating them. (MSNBC)


A Dallas Cowboys Receiver Got In Trouble With the Police Because He Wore Saggy Jeans At a Shopping Mall:

We LOVE bans on SAGGY PANTS. And here's proof that those bans WILL stop you . . . it doesn't matter if you're a punk kid, or a famous professional athlete. --DEZ BRYANT is a wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys. Last year was his rookie season. And earlier this week, he was at the NorthPark Center Mall in Dallas doing some shopping. --Even though he's a multimillionaire, Bryant is still only 22 . . . and apparently not mature enough to wear his pants like an adult. So, as he walked around the mall, his pants were sagging low and showing his underwear. --The NorthPark Center has a policy banning saggy pants. So when some security guards saw Bryant, they asked him to pull up his pants. He refused. And then . . . he started making a scene. --Some off-duty cops came over. Bryant told them, quote, "Why the [eff] are you stopping me like I stole something? I'm not leaving until my attorney and my representative get here." --The officers hit Bryant with a criminal trespass warning. Now he can't go back to the mall for 90 days or he'll be arrested. (NBC Sports)
When an NFL Team Loses In an Upset, Domestic Violence Goes Up 10% In the Home City:

Well, this is definitely a reason why an NFL lockout might be a good thing. Sure, we'll all be bored to death on Sundays . . . but a LOT of a-holes might stop hitting their wives. --According to a new study by the U.S. National Institute of Health, when NFL teams lose games they were supposed to win . . . it leads to domestic violence. --The researchers studied the results of 900 NFL regular season games for six teams . . . Carolina, Detroit, New England, Denver, Kansas City, and Tennessee . . . and the domestic violence reports in their respective cities on game day. --And they found that after a team lost in an UPSET, domestic violence rose a full 10% in its city within the three hours after the game. --Like, if the Patriots lost a game they were supposed to win, the domestic violence rate in Boston jumped 10%. If the Patriots won their game, or lost a game where they weren't favored, domestic violence rates didn't jump at all. --It was even worse when a team was upset by a RIVAL. In those cases, the domestic violence rates jumped 20%. --David Card co-authored the study. He says, quote, "This isn't limited to football. Someone who gets a speeding ticket on the way home might also be more likely to act out in a way he would later regret." (BusinessWeek) (--It's worth noting, though, that the whole thing about domestic violence increasing on Super Bowl Sunday is an URBAN LEGEND. Which makes sense. Because unless you're gambling, who cares who wins?)


A Former Beauty Pageant Queen Shoots and Kills a Home Invader . . . Using Her Pink Handgun:

Only a former beauty pageant queen could fatally shoot a man while looking like a "My First Self-Defense Barbie." --25-year-old Meghan Brown of Tierra Verde, Florida won the 2009 Miss Tierra Verde pageant. Now she lives with her 42-year-old fiancé. And back on March 12th, around 3:00 A.M., a man named Albert Hill broke into their house. --The guy grabbed Meghan and dragged her upstairs. But she managed to scramble away and grab her gun. And it's not just any gun . . . it's a PINK .38-caliber handgun. --She fired four shots at Hill and hit him in the chest, groin, thigh, and back. He was pronounced dead on the scene. --Meghan won't face any charges, because in Florida you're allowed to shoot to kill if someone is in your house. (--Or, you know, if someone looks cross-eyed at you.) --And now, let's let 25-year-old Meghan's 42-year-old fiancé, Robert Planthaber, ruin the story by bragging about his money. --He told reporters that Hill was their PIZZA GUY. Quote, "We live in a very prominent area and my fiancée wears a $60,000 engagement ring. The pizza man knew we had money because sometimes we need change for a $100 bill." (FOX News)


There's a New Study About Why You Shouldn't Give Money To Panhandlers:

Here's a new excuse the next time a homeless guy asks you for change. Don't go through that ridiculous act where you pat your pockets and say, "Uh, sorry, I don't have any." Just say, "A study told me not to." --According to a report in "The Atlantic", the Department of Housing and Urban Development says that if you REALLY want to help the homeless, you should give money to charitable organizations that help them, NOT to the people themselves. --First off, the old line that "he's probably just going to use the money to buy alcohol or drugs" is kinda true . . . more than three out of five homeless people in the study were addicted to one or both. --But beyond that, the problem is that homeless people don't have a way to SAVE money. --A full-time panhandler will generally make between $600 and $1,500 every month. And because they don't have a bank account . . . or even a safe place to store the money . . . they usually try to spend it as quickly as they get it. --While that gives them short-term help, like a meal, it doesn't help any long-term goal like, you know, not being homeless anymore. --The study found that giving money to organizations that work to get the homeless off the street and into jobs are much, much better long-term ways to help the homeless than tossing some change or a dollar into a cup. (The Atlantic)


A Guy Selling Magazines Door-To-Door Started a Fight with a Man That Wouldn't Buy Anything . . . Who Turned Out To Be a Federal Officer:

This story should warm your heart if you've ever felt like a door-to-door magazine salesman has held you HOSTAGE . . . until you finally caved and bought three subscriptions to "Juggs". --26-year-old Peter Trees is a door-to-door magazine salesman, and a REALLY obnoxious one. Last week he was walking around Gainesville, Florida, knocking on doors and pushing subscriptions. --On Friday night, he knocked on Miguel Roman's door. Miguel opened the door, listened to Peter's pitch, and told him he wasn't interested. But Peter refused to leave and kept pushing. So Miguel told him to leave his property --That sent Peter into a rage . . . and he actually PUNCHED Miguel in the face. Then, he walked into Miguel's house. --There was only one thing Peter didn't realize. Miguel was an off-duty FEDERAL AGENT. --So, Miguel pulled his FIREARM on Peter and held him there until the police arrived. Peter was arrested and charged with battery and burglary. (Gainesville Sun) (--Here's Peter's mugshot.)
Website of the Day: MyBadParent.com:

I LOVE those pictures that float around online where a woman is taking a skanky picture of herself in the mirror . . . not realizing that her young kid is in the background. Now, there's a blog dedicated to those photos, and others just like 'em. --It's called MyBadParent.com and features a seemingly endless supply of bad parenting moves caught in the act. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll demand mandatory sterilizations . . . http://MyBadParent.com


MEATBALL CRIMINALS

A Computer Nerd Gets Revenge On a Laptop Thief By Remotely Accessing the Computer, Finding a Video of the Guy Dancing, and Posting It Online:

18-year-old Mark Bao is a student and self-professed computer nerd at Bentley University in Waltham, Massachusetts. Two months ago, someone stole his computer. And last week, Mark realized he could have his revenge. --Mark remembered he'd set up his computer to back itself up online. And he could remotely access those backups. So he was actually able to log in and see what the thief had been doing with his computer. --One thing he found? The thief had made a video of himself dancing in front of the computer's webcam to the song "Make It Rain" by TYGA. --Another thing he found? The computer's web history . . . and thanks to the Facebook history, Mark learned the thief's name. --First, he called the police to report who'd stolen his computer. Then he got his ultimate revenge by taking the video of the thief dancing to "Make It Rain" . . . and posting it on YouTube. --The thief returned the laptop to the police . . . and BEGGED Mark to take down the video. Quote, "I know I am in no position for asking you for favors . . . but I do have two jobs that, if something like that leaks, I can get in more trouble." --And Mark's response was . . . hell, no. The video is still up on YouTube and has more than half a million views. (BetaBeat) (--Here's the video. WARNING: The song has several curse words.)


Three Idiots Recorded Themselves On the Way To a Burglary and Discussed All the Details of Their Plan:

Here's more proof that kids today aren't just dumber than they used to be . . . they're also far more likely to record their dumb decisions on video. --In Holiday Heights, Florida, three guys . . . ages 18, 20, and 21 . . . broke into a guy's house to rob it. And on the way to the house, they used a Kodak EasyShare pocket camera to share EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of their break-in plan. --When the cops caught them in the act, they found the camera in one of the guy's pockets. And they were happy to see that the guys narrated their entire crime in advance. --In the videos they say they hope the guy, quote, "didn't have an alarm system" . . . they talk about their plan to take the door off its hinges . . . and even though they're all white kids, they drop a million N-bombs. --They also stop so two of them can empty their bladders in someone else's backyard . . . they talk about how two of them are dipping while one eats oranges . . . and when they hear sirens, they say the old cliché, quote, "[Eff] the police." --The video ends as they're standing at their victim's back door, about to break into his house. --18-year-old Joshua VanSlyke, 21-year-old Anthony VanSlyke, and 20-year-old Gregory Williams were all arrested on felony burglary charges. (The Smoking Gun) (--You can see their video here. WARNING: LOTS of swearing and N-words.)


A Man Burns Down His Wife's Business . . . And Used the Divorce Papers She Served Him To Start the Fire:

Arson is a horrible crime, so we can't possibly sympathize with this guy. But at the same time, you can definitely UNDERSTAND his thought process. --33-year-old Shawn Gawronski of Frenchtown, Missouri has been having problems with his estranged wife, Jennifer Warner. --She has a restraining order against him, and she filed for divorce. Shawn was served with the divorce papers, and Jennifer had set Monday as the day Shawn had to respond to them. --And he responded. Oh, he responded. --Early Monday morning, Shawn went to the beauty salon that Jennifer owns . . . and BURNED IT DOWN. --And to set it on fire, he doused the building in gasoline, and then ignited it by setting fire to the DIVORCE PAPERS. --He was arrested and charged with arson, violation of a protection order, and criminal mischief. --He's looking at up to 20 years in prison. (The Missoulian)
A Couple Gets Into a Fight Over Who's Less Drunk and Better Able To Drive . . . And Both End Up Arrested For DUIs:

On Monday night, 40-year-old Brandi Fein of North Stonington, Connecticut was driving through Vermont with her boyfriend, 58-year-old David Abbot of Ledyard, Connecticut. And they were both drunk. --That was a problem for them . . . since they couldn't decide who was LESS DRUNK and should be driving. --First, Brandi was driving. Eventually, she pulled into the parking lot of an inn, and angrily got out from the driver's side. Witnesses heard her yell, quote, "If you can drive better, let's see it!" --So David got behind the wheel, Brandi got in the passenger seat, and they drove off. --Witnesses called the police, and cops caught up with the couple down the road and gave them breathalyzer tests. --Both of them blew more than double the legal limit of .08 . . . and since both of them had driven the car, BOTH of them were hit with DUIs. --The police didn't release which one blew a higher number on the breathalyzer, so we can't definitively answer their argument of who was less drunk. (Burlington Free Press)


RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

A 14-year-old in Salt Lake City told cops he was shot . . . so he wouldn't get in trouble for falling and ripping the knee of his brand new pants. (Full Story)


The Japanese government is estimating the damage caused by the recent earthquake and tsunami at $309 billion . . . roughly the equivalent of Four Katrinas. (Full Story)


A guy was pulled over for driving his pregnant wife over 100 miles an hour to a hospital in Denver. The police called an ambulance for her, but cited the husband for speeding and reckless driving, and arrested him. The wife gave birth in the ambulance in front of the hospital. It was the couple's eighth child. (Full Story)


According to Facebook, they kick off 20,000 underage users from the site every single day. (Full Story)


A survey of home buyers found that honesty and integrity were the most important characteristics for realtors to have. People skills, knowledge of the area, and skills with technology were the three least important skills. (Full Story)


A doctor in Australia has admitted that he didn't read a patient's chart. Otherwise he would have known her gallbladder had been removed 10 years earlier, and he wouldn't have cut her open to remove it again. She died three days later. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) Check Out Some of Elizabeth Taylor's Most Memorable Cameos:

ELIZABETH TAYLOR will be remembered for movies like "Cleopatra" and "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf", but MovieLine.com put together a video list of her eight most memorable CAMEOS. --Over the years, Taylor appeared on "General Hospital", "All My Children", "The Nanny", and may have done her BEST work playing Fred's mother-in-law in the 1994 "Flintstones" movie. --She even provided the voice for Maggie when she said her first word on "The Simpsons". Here only line was the word "Daddy". (--Search for "The Eight Most Memorable Elizabeth Taylor Cameos.")


#2.) Two Female PETA Members Showered Naked on a Street Corner in Hollywood . . . And Caused a Fender Bender:

Two female PETA members showered naked behind a curtain on a busy street corner in Hollywood on Tuesday. They were trying to raise awareness for World Water Day, and inform people that going vegan helps conserve water. --But in doing so, they also caused a small fender bender when a distracted driver rammed the car in front of him at a red light. A local news station happened to be there when it happened, and you can see the footage on CBSLocal.com. (--Search for "PETA Models Shower Nude in Hollywood.")
#3.) A Website Has Ranked the 25 Most Seductive Water-Related Scenes in Movies:

If you watch the PETA video and your appetite for half-naked women in water still isn't satisfied, the website Complex.com has come up with a definitive list of the "25 Most Seductive Water Scenes in Movies". --The top nod went to the PHOEBE CATES bikini scene from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", followed by URSULA ANDRESS walking out of the ocean in a white bikini in the 1962 James Bond movie "Dr. No". --Third on the list is the scene where a topless NEVE CAMPBELL and DENISE RICHARDS make out in a swimming pool in the 1998 movie "Wild Things". (--WARNING: The "Wild Things" video includes nudity.)


Five Foods and How to Make Them Last Longer in the Fridge:

According to the magazine "Prevention", the average family throws away 122 pounds of food per month and wastes $590 a year on stuff that eventually goes bad. So here are five perishables, and how you can make them last longer in the fridge.

#1.) Eggs. Most new refrigerators have a special spot on the door for eggs. But you shouldn't store them there because it makes them vulnerable to fluctuations in temperature. --If you keep them in their original cardboard container and store them INSIDE the refrigerator, they'll last 3 to 4 weeks past their expiration date.

#2.) Milk. The same rule applies. Milk should be stored in the back of the fridge, where the air stays coldest. And when you're at the store, you should buy milk last so you minimize the amount of time it goes unrefrigerated.

#3.) Lunchmeat. Just make sure you store it in the meat drawer, which is specially designed to keep cold air in. As long as you don't forget to reseal the bag every time you use some, lunchmeat should last 3 to 5 days past its expiration date.

#4.) Tomatoes. Cherry tomatoes should always be in the fridge, but large varieties should stay at room temperature until they're bright red. Putting them in the refrigerator too early prevents them from ripening. --And don't put ripe tomatoes near other vegetables in the fridge because they give off ethylene, which can make green veggies go bad. The same rule applies with apples, which also give off ethylene.

#5.) Hard Cheese. If you wrap it in plastic or aluminum foil and keep it refrigerated, it should last 2 to 4 months past the sell-by date. --And if there's a little mold, you don't have to throw the whole thing away. Just do what your grandparents did and cut the mold off, plus an extra half-inch of cheese below it. --Other things, like bread, don't work the same way. And if one piece is moldy, you have to throw out the whole loaf. (Prevention.com)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (03-23-11)

CELEBRITIES BEHAVING BADLY

Chris Brown Had a Tantrum After His "Good Morning America" Interview . . . Because They Asked Him About Rihanna:

CHRIS BROWN had a temper tantrum after his appearance on "Good Morning America" yesterday, because interviewer ROBIN ROBERTS asked him about his assault of RIHANNA back in February of 2009. --After the interview, Brown performed one song . . . (--He was scheduled to do two) . . . then stormed back to his dressing room, grabbed a chair and smashed a window with it, sending shattered glass to the sidewalk below. --Sources say Chris went pretty ballistic . . . to the point where his yelling and screaming even frightened some staffers, who called security. He also got in a producer's face, but other people stepped in and kept them from throwing down. --By the time security arrived, Brown had already stormed out of the building. Shirtless. In 40-degree weather. (--Here are some pictures of Chris shirtless, along with a shot of the window he broke.) --Later that morning, Chris was all smiles at a nearby art gallery. (--You can see video here.) --Brown went to "GMA" to talk about his new album, "F.A.M.E.", but Roberts kept trying to steer the conversation toward Rihanna. --Chris told her, quote, "It's not really a big deal to me now, as far as that situation. I think I'm past that in my life. Today's the album day, so that's what I'm focused on." --When she pushed him further, he said, quote, "I've been focusing on this album. I think this album is what I want people to hear and want people to really get into. -"Definitely this album is what I want to talk about and not what happened two years ago." --An ABC source claims that before the interview, Chris gave Roberts the green light to ask him about Rihanna. --But another source says he expected to be asked ONE QUESTION about the incident, and not be pressed the way he was. (--Check out the interview here. You can tell he gets a little annoyed, but he doesn't seem THAT annoyed.) --After the whole thing went down, Chris hit up Twitter and said, quote, "I'm so over people bringing up the past (crap) up!!! Yet we praise Charlie Sheen and other celebs for their bull(crap)." --But then he deleted that post, and added two more. First he said, quote, "Thank you to everyone who supports my music!!! Key Word (music)!!! Love y'all." --Then he added, quote, "All my fans!!! This album is for you and only you!!! I'm so tired of everyone else!! I love team breezy!!" --ABC issued a brief statement saying, quote, "As always, we ask questions that are relevant and newsworthy, and that's what we did in this interview with Mr. Brown."


Is Chris Brown in Any Legal Trouble?

CHRIS BROWN was sentenced to FIVE YEARS' probation for his assault of Rihanna in February of 2009. For you non-math majors, that means he's still got more than three years to go. (--He didn't accept the plea deal until June.) --That also means that if he gets into any legal trouble before those three years are up, they could haul him in on a probation violation. Which would lead to further punishment . . . possibly even jail time. --But it doesn't look like that'll happen. The official line from the NYPD is that they weren't called, so they're not getting involved in Chris's "Good Morning America" window-breaking outburst. --And if they don't get involved, it's not likely that court officials in California will do anything about it, either. --However . . . he could lose another ABC gig . . . and this one would put him in front of a lot more viewers than "Good Morning America". --Chris is scheduled to perform on "Dancing With the Stars" next Tuesday night. But fans are lighting up the message boards at ABC.com, asking them to cancel his appearance. --There's no word yet if they're going to listen.


Check Out Chris Brown's New Video:

After the chaos that went down behind the scenes at "Good Morning America", CHRIS BROWN canceled an appearance on MTV to debut his new video, "Beautiful People". But they debuted the clip anyway. (--You can watch it here.)


Ellen DeGeneres Confronted Selena Gomez, Because Selena Lied Last Year and Told Ellen That Justin Bieber Was Like a Little Brother to Her:

When SELENA GOMEZ was on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" last September, Ellen tried to press her about her relationship with JUSTIN BIEBER. And Selena told her, quote, "He's little. He's like my little brother. That's weird to me." --Well, Selena can't deny the relationship anymore. So when she returned to "Ellen" yesterday, Ellen put her on the spot . . . and even played the clip where Selena makes sort of a disgusted face at the end of her denial. --She said, quote, "He's like your little brother? . . . What do you have to say now?" --When Ellen joked that Selena made a fool of her, Selena said, quote, "No, I really didn't . . . I promise you, I didn't. He's just sweet." --Ellen replied, quote, "He is. He's sweet as can be. But he's not like your little brother, is he?" --Selena told Ellen, quote, "I didn't lie to you. I didn't, though. I'll say that." --To which Ellen replied, quote, "No, you didn't BLATANTLY lie. But a little brother is not someone you want to date." --And Selena said, quote, "Well, no. That would be weird." (--Check out the amusing video here.)


Did Paris Hilton Go Out With Vin Diesel . . . Then Drop Him When She Realized He Was Part Black?

PARIS HILTON has often been rumored to be a RACIST . . . and she's even been caught on camera using the N-WORD. --Well, now there's a new book that supposedly backs that up. It's called "Everyone Loves You When You're Dead". It's a Hollywood tell-all by an author (slash) journalist named Neil Strauss . . . who spent a lot of time partying with celebrities back in the day. --Strauss claims that he partied with Paris when she was 18 . . . which would have been about 12 years ago . . . and she told him that she has a ONE PERCENT RULE. In other words, if a guy is even one percent black, she won't date him. --She also told him about how she'd gone out with one of the guys from "Saving Private Ryan" the previous night. -She said, quote, "We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw he was black and made an excuse and left. --"I can't stand black guys. I would never touch one. It's gross. Does that guy look black to you?" --Strauss didn't reveal who she was talking about, but it's got to be VIN DIESEL . . . who's half-black, half-Italian . . . and has pretty light skin.


Charlie Sheen is Clean:

Remember the drug tests CHARLIE SHEEN and BROOKE MUELLER took back on March 11th? Well, they both tested CLEAN. --This should help Charlie get visits with his 2-year-old twin sons. But RadarOnline.com is reporting that he still has to undergo a mental health evaluation. --A source says, quote, "Charlie won't see the boys until he sees a psychiatrist, that is someone neutral, that hasn't previously treated him." --Although one so-called "insider" wonders why there's so much urgency on Charlie's part to be with the boys. --This person says, quote, "The fact is though that before Charlie's problems began in the last several months, he had had little or no contact with Bob and Max in the previous 16 months." (--Hey, defeat is not an option, right? That means that if somebody takes something from you . . . even if you didn't really want it in the first place . . . you go get it back.)


Did Jimmy Kimmel Cut a Sarah Silverman Diss from Charlie Sheen's Appearance the Other Night?

JIMMY KIMMEL may not have shown us everything from CHARLIE SHEEN'S surprise appearance on his show Monday night. Rumor has it he cut one thing from the segment. --Supposedly, Charlie slammed a toothbrush on Jimmy's desk and said, quote, "That whore SARAH SILVERMAN left this at my house." --Charlie probably thought Jimmy would get a kick out of that, since Sarah is Jimmy's ex. But Jimmy decided it was too insulting, so he cut it.


Lawrence Taylor is Now a Registered Sex Offender:

Legendary New York Giants linebacker LAWRENCE TAYLOR will avoid jail time for that hotel room debacle last year involving an underage prostitute. --The incident in an upstate New York hotel room last May initially resulted in charges of third-degree rape, human trafficking and endangering the welfare of a child. --But LT struck a deal earlier this year that allowed him to plead guilty to lesser misdemeanor charges of sexual misconduct and soliciting a prostitute. He was officially sentenced yesterday to six years of probation. --HOWEVER . . . he also has to register as a SEX OFFENDER. And that's for life . . . just like herpes. --Plus, for the duration of his probation, he has to meet with a drug and alcohol counselor and be in his home every night from 1:00 A.M. to 5:00 A.M. And he can't visit any porno shops or strip clubs. But he CAN pick his kids up from school. -As you may recall, the girl in question was 16 years old at the time of the incident. But when he asked her how old she was, she reportedly said 19. --She wasn't really a prostitute, either. She was a runaway. But some scumbag predator wannabe pimp sold her to Taylor for $300. She allegedly had a black eye, too, because the guy had punched her.


Gloria Allred is Repping the Girl in the Lawrence Taylor Case . . . and We Can Probably Expect a Civil Lawsuit:

Man-hating attorney GLORIA ALLRED showed up at LAWRENCE TAYLOR'S sentencing yesterday with the girl he paid $300 to have sex with last year. --They were hoping the girl could make a victim impact statement before the sentencing. But the judge didn't allow it, because Taylor had pleaded it down to a misdemeanor case instead of a felony. --Gloria was pretty upset about that. And of course she gathered all the news cameras she could find to record her rage. --She reiterated that her client was a VICTIM, and not a prostitute. She also said, quote, "We believe [Taylor] had many clues that his victim was under 18." --The girl . . . who was not identified by name . . . also spoke to reporters. She said, quote, "I am very upset about what Mr. Taylor did to me. I never wanted to go to his hotel room. --"Rasheed ordered me to go to there and have sex for money. When I refused, Rasheed beat me." (--She's referring to Rasheed Davis . . . the PIG who was pimping her out. He's facing charges of endangering the welfare of a minor, assault and unlawful imprisonment. --She added, quote, "My life has changed because of him. He took something precious from me. I do not think the sentence given to Mr. Taylor today was fair. I think he should have been sent to jail for what he did to me." --Meanwhile, Taylor's attorney ripped into Gloria Allred for EXPLOITING the victim . . . especially after everyone took pains to maintain her anonymity. And he expects Allred to file a civil suit against Taylor. --He added that the woman herself already admitted that she LIED to Taylor about her age, telling him she was 19. (--Yes, she was probably coerced by her pimp to do that, but still, it makes it more likely that Taylor did NOT know he was with an underage girl.) (--That doesn't make him INNOCENT, but in some respects, it makes him a little less guilty. At least that's Taylor's attorney's stance. You don't have to agree with it.) --She also told police after the incident that Taylor was, quote, "not aggressive, nor was he forceful in his conduct. And he was respectful at all times." (--You can watch a news report here.)


Barry Bonds Didn't Know He Was Taking Steroids . . . He Thought It Was Flax Seed Oil and Arthritis Cream:

The perjury trial of former San Francisco Giants slugger BARRY BONDS got underway yesterday. --Bonds is accused of lying to a grand jury in 2003, when he told them he never knowingly took steroids. --And his attorney laid out Barry's defense in his opening statements. He said Barry didn't know he was taking steroids, because his trainer LIED TO HIM. --The guy supposedly told Barry he was giving him flax seed oil and arthritis cream. Barry's attorney said, quote, "I know that doesn't make a great story. But that's what happened." --In other words, Barry may have taken steroids, but he didn't take them KNOWINGLY. Thus, he didn't lie to the grand jury. --The prosecutor called that alibi, quote, "ridiculous and unbelievable."


Aflac Is Running One of their Older Commercials . . . Because It's SILENT:

Aflac is rerunning an old commercial that's patterned after a SILENT movie . . . which is an interesting way to get around having to pay GILBERT GOTTFRIED any cash. --The soundtrack is just piano music, and all dialogue is written on the screen . . . including when the duck shouts "Aflac!" --The plot is also lifted from silent movies. There's a woman tied to railroad tracks, and the duck saves her. However . . . the ad ends with the duck being HIT BY A TRAIN. (--Don't worry, PETA sympathizers: The duck doesn't die. They show him riding on the train's cow-catcher, very much alive.) --They added something new to the end of the ad . . . a plug for the nationwide search to find the new voice of the Aflac Duck. (--Check out the ad here.)


14 Million People Watched the "Bachelor" Finale:

The overhyped "Bachelor" season finale came in third in the ratings. It attracted about 14 million viewers, coming in just behind the "After the Final Rose" special. (--Unfortunately, there's a rumor that Brad Womack might get a THIRD shot at being "The Bachelor" if his latest relationship fails. Read more on that here.) --As usual, the two "American Idol" broadcasts were last week's top shows, with 22.6 million people tuning in on Wednesday and 19.6 million on Thursday.


Will Brad Womack Return to "The Bachelor" for a Third Season?

BRAD WOMACK and EMILY MAYNARD have admitted that their "Bachelor" engagement hasn't been smooth sailing so far, but they insist that their relationship is still ON . . . at least publicly. But there's still talk that it's doomed. (--Proof beyond the fact that 90% "Bachelor" romances are inherently doomed, I mean.) --If that's the case, PopEater.com claims ABC is already considering the possibility of bringing Brad back for a THIRD "Bachelor" run. --A so-called "ABC insider" says, quote, "No one ever thought Brad would be invited back for a second time after he rejected both women the first time he appeared. --"So it's not totally out of the question that Brad could return again if he and Emily stop trying to make this relationship work." --Supposedly, ABC isn't concerned with the success or failure of Brad's love life . . . shocking, I know . . . they're just trying to figure out if another season with Brad would be good or bad, ratings-wise. --The insider adds, quote, "After America saw him try so hard to make his relationship work with Emily, they like him again. Everyone thinks Emily tricked him . . . they feel sorry for him." (--Do we really?)


The Premiere Date for Chaz Bono's Documentary Has Been Revealed:

"Becoming Chaz" . . . the documentary that follows CHAZ BONO morphing from woman to VERY SEXY man . . . will premiere on OPRAH WINFREY'S OWN network on May 10th at 8:00 P.M. (--Here's the trailer.) --After the movie, there will be a one-hour special hosted by ROSIE O'DONNELL, in which Chaz and his girlfriend will talk about their experiences.
Wednesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"American Idol" [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"Survivor: Redemption Island" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Matt and Krista duel in Matt's fourth Redemption Island battle. First he took out Francesca and since then he's held off Russell and Kristina for the right to stay in the game.)

--"America's Next Top Model" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW. (--Rachel Zoe, from Bravo's "Rachel Zoe Project", is tonight's guest judge. And the contestants model her new faux-fur clothing line at the Los Angeles Zoo.)

--"Dog the Bounty Hunter" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E. (--Dog helps a friend and fellow bondsmen hunt down four fugitives on the run in Montrose, Colorado.)

--"Mr. Sunshine" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Ben and Alonzo play against "Wonder Years" superstar Fred Savage and tennis legend Jimmy Connors in a celebrity tennis tournament. Ben is Matthew Perry's character.)

--"Are We There Yet?" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on TBS. (--Tsunami-tsurviving tsupermodel Paulina Porizkova guest stars when Suzanne grows tired of being the family's "bad cop" to Nick's "good cop".)

--"Law & Order: SVU" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Benson and Stabler go undercover at a swinger's club. Rose McGowan guests as one of the swingers.)

--"Hot in Cleveland" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TV Land. (--Sherri Shepherd returns as Judge Lesser when Elka's case finally goes to trial. And Amy Sedaris guest stars as the First Lady of Ohio.)

--"Fact or Faked" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.

--"Retired At 35" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on TV Land.


Rebecca Black Is Making a Lot of Money Off "Friday" . . . But Not as Much as Some People Are Saying:

YouTube luminary REBECCA BLACK is STILL a sensation. The official video for "Friday" has now eclipsed 36 MILLION VIEWS. --To put that in perspective, LADY GAGA'S super-hyped "Born This Way" video has "only" been viewed 23.5 million times. (--Although the official audio-only YouTube video of "Born This Way" has been played over 37.9 million times.) --And with "Friday" still at #33 on the iTunes Top 100 chart, it's clear that Rebecca IS raking in some serious coin. But it's not as much money as one online report claimed yesterday. --Forbes.com said Rebecca was approaching the $1 million threshold, but that seems to be based on faulty calculations. They erroneously reported that "Friday" had been downloaded 2 million times from iTunes. --So what's the real number? Billboard.com did some complicated math, and estimates that Rebecca is pulling down about $24,900 a week . . . with track-sales in the neighborhood of 40,000 the first week, and "probably more" this week. --The details are both gnarly and vague . . . but basically, since Rebecca doesn't have a label, it seems like she owns the publishing rights to "Friday". --And Ark Music Factory, the company Rebecca and her mom paid to produce the song and video, is believed to hold the song-writing credit. So they get a cut for that. --Since Rebecca is 13, this money could be a nice college fund, although some of the money could go to her furthering her "music career." (--For what it's worth, that's not the option I'm hoping for.) --Rebecca WILL release another song though. On Twitter, she said, quote, "We're currently writing another song. It does not have to do with weekdays, or months, or numbers or colors. Throwin' that out there." (--It's unclear if she's still working with Ark Music Factory, but you have to give Rebecca some credit for having a good sense of humor about her "fame.") (--Not to mention the fact that she's still standing despite all the negative comments . . . including DEATH WISHES . . . that have come her way since she blew up.)(--I mean, let's get real here, people. This is a 13-year-old girl. You don't have to like the song, but could you please lay off the child? Imagine how YOU would have handled all this ridicule and hatred when you were 13.) (--By the way, if you missed "Conan" on Monday night, he did an amusing "Friday" parody called . . . "Thursday"! You can watch it, here.)
Disco Singer and Marky Mark Collaborator Loleatta Holloway Is Dead:

Disco singer LOLEATTA HOLLOWAY died of heart failure yesterday. She was 64. Her manager said she'd been battling a brief illness at the time of her death . . . but he didn't elaborate. --BOY GEORGE paid tribute to her on Twitter . . . saying, quote, "God rest your soul Loleatta Holloway, you were the greatest voice and I loved you! R.I.P." --Loleatta is best known for 1980 hit "Love Sensation", but people with high-end musical tastes have probably only heard the part of it that's used in the MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH classic, "Good Vibrations". --Loleatta sings the part that goes, "It's such a good vibration / It's such a sweet sensation." She also appears in the video. She also got a vocal credit and some of the royalties. --The European electronic group BLACK BOX sampled "Love Sensation" on their single "Ride on Time" . . . but they did it WITHOUT Loleatta's blessing and without crediting her. She went after them, and eventually got some money out of it. (--Here's Marky Mark's "Good Vibrations" video. Loleatta sings for the first time at the :33 mark. You can find Black Box's "Ride on Time", here. And you can listen to Loleatta's original version, here.)


How Would You Like To Play Tupac in a Movie?

There's a movie in development called "Tupac", which is about TUPAC'S life . . . specifically the latter part of it, up until his murder. But enough of the morbid stuff. --If you think YOU could play Tupac, well you're in luck: Because the production company has opened up an online casting call, asking for actors to send in audition reels. And you don't have to look EXACTLY like Tupac. --One of the producers says, quote, "We're looking for someone with the right mix of raw charm and charisma for the role. --"At this point, we're more concerned about finding someone with the ability to give their entire heart into the performance than just looks and personality." (--That being said, if you're a little white kid, don't bother. Unless you're JUSTIN BIEBER. Then they'd probably love to have you.) --The site is InSearchOfTupac.com. --You'll need to send them your performance of a scene that they provide . . . and perform a Tupac rap. They're accepting submissions up through April 30th.


WEDNESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS - 1 of 2

I don't know why there's been such a glut of bikini pictures of 42-year-old former supermodel STEPHANIE SEYMOUR lately, but a few more popped up yesterday. And they include TOPLESS shots. (Full Story)


BILL MAHER is a notorious lover of the NUBIAN LADIES. But for the past two years, he's actually been dating a white girl. That ended recently, though. (Full Story)


You can now vote for the NOMINEES for the 2011 MTV Movie Awards. The voting runs through April 5th, then the nominees will be announced. And you'll be able to vote for the WINNERS beginning May 3rd. The show airs June 5th. (Full Story)


A Pixar employee posted a video called "One Man Disney Movie". It's a medley of various songs from Disney cartoons . . . but he does all the singing. He even does the female parts . . . and he does them frighteningly well. It's pretty cool. (Video)


For no reason, here's a list of 50 celebrities who went to college. (Full Story)


Looking for a cause you can get behind, but not completely sold on what saving the whales can do for you? Well, ELLEN DEGENERES has shot a mock PSA for a good one: "No More Reality Shows That Are Two Hours Long." (Video)


HELEN MIRREN . . . inarguably the HOTTEST 65-year-old on the planet . . . has signed on to host "Saturday Night Live" on April 9th. The FOO FIGHTERS are the musical guest. (Full Story)


ELIZABETH BERKLEY says she'd take part in the "Saved By the Bell" reunion that JIMMY FALLON is organizing. The remaining holdouts are Kelly and Screech, who were played by TIFFANI THIESSEN and DUSTIN DIAMOND. (Full Story)


EDDIE MURPHY will be honored with the "Comedy Icon" distinction at the very first Comedy Awards ceremony. The show will air April 10th on several cable networks, including Comedy Central and TV Land. (Full Story)


Just in case you actually believed it . . . SIMON COWELL has shot down a rumor claiming that he was considering 17-year-old TAYLOR MOMSEN as an "X Factor" judge. He says he doesn't even know who she is. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

You Have a 270% Higher Chance of a Heart Attack When You're Having Sex:

The Liberal Media is going to spin this story with sensationalist headlines like "SEX CAN KILL YOU." I don't see it like that. To me, this story means: If you're in bad shape, make sure you're usually the lazy one on the bottom during sex. --According to a new study out of Tufts Medical Center in Boston, if you're in bad shape, your chance of having a heart attack significantly goes up during relations. --During sex or right after, when your heart rate is all elevated, you have a 270% higher chance of a heart attack than normal. Of course, that assumes you're really being ACTIVE during sex . . . if you just kinda lay there, it's not quite so high. --The study also found that you're 350% more likely to have a heart attack when you're exercising versus when you're not. --Of course, even with those increased percentages, your chance of a heart attack still isn't that great. For every 10,000 people, sex or exercise MIGHT trigger one to two heart attacks per year. --The message here is that it's better for you to be in shape than be out of shape . . . because if you're out of shape, even sex can put your heart at risk. (Reuters)


A Man is Suing Four Loko Because He Says it Gave Him Permanent Heart Damage:

It's been several months since Four Loko was banned, after the FDA decided an energy drink combined with malt liquor was TOO DANGEROUS for us to drink. And now . . . here come the lawsuits. --22-year-old Michael Mustica of Knowlton Township, New Jersey is SUING Phusion Projects, the makers of Four Loko. He says drinking Four Loko gave him permanent heart damage. --In October, Michael was on vacation in Atlantic City and drank two-and-a-half cans of Four Loko. His heart started racing and his breathing was off. He went to the hospital and was diagnosed with a heart arrhythmia. --In his lawsuit, he's accusing Four Loko of being, quote, "deceitfully packaged" . . . all of the bright colors and crazy typefaces disguise how potent it really is. --Every can of Four Loko used to be 23.5 ounces and 12% alcohol. That's about the same as six beers. They also had 135 milligrams of caffeine, which is about two cups of coffee. Michael had two-and-a-half cans. --The FDA banned that version of Four Loko in November. A non-caffeinated version came out in December. --There's no word on how much Michael is seeking in the suit. Phusion Projects didn't have a comment on it. (Newark Star-Ledger)


What's the Biggest Regret of Your Life? For Women, It's Something Romantic . . . For Men, It's Something About Work:

According to a new study, almost half of women still have deep, deep regrets about the One Who Got Away. The study also found that men regret the one that got away . . . but their "one" is a high-paying job. --The study was done at Northwestern University. Researchers surveyed 370 adults, ranging from 20 years old to 80, and asked them to list their biggest regrets. --The number one answer for women was ROMANCE. 44% of them said the biggest regret of their life was, quote, "the one who got away, a missed opportunity, or someone you knew [once] with whom it didn't quite work out." --That was more than double the amount of men who had a romantic regret . . . only 19% gave that as their number one answer. --Men were FAR more likely to regret something in their career. 35% of men said something work-related was their biggest regret, making it the number one answer. Less than a quarter of the women surveyed said that. --Family issues were the second-biggest regret for both genders. --The main family regrets were generally from people who were estranged from a family member . . . and in some cases didn't get to apologize before that person passed away. --They haven't released the specific order of the other regrets that got big chunks of votes, but they said those include not going to college, not getting divorced sooner, or choosing money over passion. (Chicago Sun-Times)
The More Attractive You Are, The Less Likely You Are To Think You Should Pay On a Date:

As one of the most attractive people in the world, I have to admit that this story really hit home with me. My beauty SHOULD make other people treat me right. --A study out of the University of St. Andrews in Scotland found that the more attractive someone is, the less likely they are to think they should PAY for a meal on a date. And that goes for both men and women. --Michael Stirrat is a psychologist who led the study. He says, quote, "You'd expect people to have a knowledge about how good looking they were, so they [feel] they need to make less effort to meet people or get a chance to impress people. --"So it does make sense that more attractive people would be less willing to pay. They are going to have more opportunity so they can be more choosy." (Ipswich Advertiser)


A Church In Ohio Wants To Boost Its Attendance On Easter By Giving Away $1,000 At the Service:

Well, it's finally happened. Saving your immortal soul wasn't enough to get you to church. Nope. You needed more. And the Lindenwald Baptist Church in Hamilton, Ohio has caved. They are going to PAY YOU to pray. --On Easter Sunday, Lindenwald will be holding a $1,000 drawing at their service. Every congregant who shows up is eligible . . . but you have to be present to win. --Randy Moore is the pastor at Lindenwald. He says they tried it last year and got 1,140 people to the service. In the years before that, their Easter service drew about 500 people. He's hoping for even more this year. (Hamilton Journal-News)


Pole Dancing For Jesus . . . Would You Like to Know More?

There may be a good Christian message buried somewhere in here . . . but still, on the list of ways to pay homage to our good friend JESUS, this CAN'T be very high. --There's an aerobics studio in Houston, Texas called Best Shape of Your Life Studios, and they're offering a class called POLE DANCING FOR JESUS. --It's every other Sunday . . . for women only . . . and you have to bring a church program to get in. The women in the class are fully-clothed and pole dance to Christian rock music. --The studio says they're trying to take the whole "pole dancing is for strippers" stigma away . . . it's actually a good way to get in shape, build self-esteem, and, yep, celebrate the body that God gave you. (Huffington Post)


The President of Guatemala Divorced His Wife . . . Because It Was the Only Way She Could Run For President When His Term Ended:

In Guatemala, the constitution makes it illegal for close relatives and spouses of government officials to succeed them. So, for example, if the CLINTONS were in Guatemala, Bill would've had to divorce Hillary before she could run for president. (--By the way, that loud noise you just heard was Bill Clinton dropping everything to run to a computer to look for real estate in Guatemala.) --Right now, a man named Alvaro Colom is the president of Guatemala. When his term ends next year, his wife Sandra Torres de Colom, wants to run for president. Only she can't under constitutional law. --So . . . the Coloms came up with a solution. --Alvaro DIVORCED her, which will make her eligible to be president. They filed for divorce back on the 11th. Because they said the divorce is "mutual," they didn't need to cite a reason for the divorce on the form. --Her potential opponent in the race is named Otto Perez Molina, and naturally, he's calling shenanigans on all this. --The Guatemalan Constitutional Court is going to review the case and determine whether Sandra should be allowed to run. (CNN)


Stressed Out Students at Yale Can Now Rent a Dog To Pet For Half an Hour:

College kids today are so pampered, man. Back in the '60s, if school was stressing you out, you just sucked it up . . . dropped out . . . and took enough acid to make you think you were a glass of orange juice for three days. --Fast forward to today. Yale Law School is worried about its students' stress levels, so their library is offering a new service: RENT-A-DOG. --Tons of studies have shown that petting a dog relieves stress. So at Yale, you'll now be able to check a dog out of the library for 30 minutes . . . pet him . . . calm down . . . and then go back to work. The dog rentals begin on Monday. (New York Times)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS

A 92-Year-Old Woman is Arrested For Firing Four Shots Into Her 53-Year-Old Neighbor's House . . . After He Refused To Give Her a Kiss:

Let's hear it for ULTRA-RANDY senior citizens who know what they want . . . and know what it takes to get it. Even if, ya know, they're dangerous like this woman and end up in jail. --On Monday, 92-year-old Helen Staudinger of Fort McCoy, Florida visited her next door neighbor, 53-year-old Dwight Bettner. And she had a very specific goal in mind: Eff the 39-year age difference, she wanted to GET-IT-ON with him. --Only Dwight wasn't into Helen. And when she said she wouldn't leave unless they MADE OUT, he slammed the door on her. --So 92-year-old Helen responded by going home, grabbing her .380 semi-automatic handgun . . . and firing FOUR SHOTS into Dwight's house. Dwight was hit by some debris but wasn't seriously injured. Then he called the cops. --When they got there, Helen told them she was shooting at, quote, "his car that he loved so much." She was arrested for two felonies: Aggravated assault and firing into an occupied dwelling. She's still locked up today. -Dwight told the cops that he's had issues with Helen trying to get all up on him before. Quote, "I feel she is enamored with [me]." He says he even tried to introduce Helen to his girlfriend once . . . after which she threatened to shoot him. (The Smoking Gun)


A Man Shows Up To His DWI Hearing Drunk . . . and Carrying a Bag of Beer:

I'm just speculating here, but I THINK that 49-year-old Keith Gruber of Swan Lake, New York has a drinking problem. And no, the problem isn't that people keep getting in the way of his drinking. --Back on December 27th, Keith was arrested for driving while intoxicated. He also has prior DWI convictions. And on Monday, he was due in Sullivan County Court for a hearing on his new DWI charge. --His pretrial hearing was scheduled for 10:30 A.M. And he showed up at noon, an hour and a half late . . . and DRUNK. --When he got to the courthouse, he was visibly drunk and had an open can of Busch beer in his hand. --He was also carrying a bag . . . and when security guards checked it, they found out it was full of four MORE cans of Busch. --That FINALLY got a judge to stop messing around . . . he threw Keith in jail and revoked his bail. (Middletown Times Herald-Record)


A Man is Arrested For Driving While Drunk . . . While Sexting:

Drunk driving is horribly dangerous. Drunk SEXTING is dangerous too, in a whole different potentially-destructive way. --And when you bring 'em both together like 29-year-old Phernando Cuello of Tampa, Florida . . . well, you belong in jail for the sake of public safety. --Around 3:00 A.M. on Sunday, police in New Port Richey, Florida pulled over Phernando after he caused a minor accident. --He told them that someone had cut him off, so he swerved and caused the crash. But after they noticed his GLASSY EYES and smelled the alcohol on his breath, he told the truth. --Phernando was DRUNK . . . and he'd been SEXTING with his girlfriend while he drove. --Between the drunkenness and the sexting, he wasn't even CLOSE to focused on the road . . . and he hit another driver. --He was charged with DUI.
(St. Petersburg Times)


A Man Calls 911 To Tell Them He's Drunk and a Felon, So He Doesn't Want To Have To Watch His Girlfriend's Baby:

Stories like this are almost comforting in a way. Sure, they remind you that there are horrible people out there. But they also remind you that generally those people are SO STUPID that eventually they get themselves locked up. --On Monday around 8:50 P.M., 911 operators in Fargo, North Dakota got a call from a 33-year-old man whose name hasn't been released. --And he had an emergency. See, his girlfriend had left him home to babysit her one-year-old son. And he told the 911 operator that he was DRUNK . . . a FELON . . . and didn't want to be watching the baby since he's not even the dad. --While he was on the phone, he also threw his 22-year-old girlfriend under the bus . . . and told the operator that the reason she'd left him alone with the kid was because she was also drunk and high on drugs. --Police reported to the house immediately. --Thankfully, the boy was OK and was placed with a relative. --The mother was arrested and charged with child neglect. Charges are still pending against the guy who made the call. (Fargo-Moorhead InForum)
A Bride In Arizona Starts a Massive Brawl At Her Own Wedding Reception:

Hey, I'm totally on this woman's side. Just because your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life doesn't mean you should shrug it off if someone acts the fool. --On Saturday night, 28-year-old Angela Davito of Gilbert, Arizona got married. The reception was in the backyard of a family member's house. --Anyway, SOMETHING went down at the reception. The police aren't saying what it was, but it made Angela go CRAZY and she TACKLED and BEAT UP one of her wedding guests. --A riot broke out. By the time the cops got there, someone out front told them that the people at the reception were, quote, "killing each other." --They ended up having to PEPPER SPRAY the entire group to get them to stop fighting. (--And possibly, because wedding chicken is always so dry, to give the food some flavor.) --Angela was arrested on suspicion of assault and obstructing governmental operation. --There's no word if there were any other arrests. The fire department ended up having to treat several of the guests for pepper spray exposure. (Arizona Republic)


STUPID VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) Guess How Many Bones Steven Seagal Has Broken in Bad Action Movies?

If you're a fan of STEVEN SEAGAL'S bone-breaking ability in bad action movies, you're in luck. Someone posted a montage on YouTube of every bone he's ever broken. --Since starring in the classic "Hard to Kill" in 1990, Seagal has broken 101 arms, legs, wrists, and necks. (--Search for "Every Bone Steven Seagal Has Ever Broken." The bone-breaking begins at :29.) (--WARNING: This video includes graphic content and two F-bombs.)


#2.) And Now . . . A Dog Riding a Tricycle While Leading Six Other Dogs in a Conga Line:

It's the little things in life that matter . . . like a dog riding a tricycle while leading six other dogs in a conga line. And there's a new video of exactly that on YouTube. (--Search for "Doggy Conga Line.")


#3.) Three New York Subway Riders Have Brought the Crazy on YouTube This Past Week:

Apparently the New York City subway system has been filled with even more aggressive nutters than usual this past week, because three different videos of crazy passengers are gaining popularity on YouTube. --First, someone posted a video of two women fighting because one of them was eating spaghetti on a train. --Another person posted a video of a guy yelling at another passenger over and over to respect his name, which is "Bloody Loco". But the other guy just reads his book, nods, and refuses to engage him . . . which just makes Bloody Loco even angrier. --And in the most recent video, a young guy and an old guy wrestle on one of the trains, and the old guy DOMINATES. --He puts the young guy in what most closely resembles a figure-four leg lock, and all the young guy can manage to land are a few punches to the old dude's backside. (--Search for "Old Guy Beats Up Young Buck." WARNING: The first two videos both include the F-word and other profanity.)


#4.) In Case You Missed It, Check Out Princeton's Basketball Coach Choking Up After Losing to Kentucky:

Maybe this is why the crybabies in the Ivy League get no respect: In case you missed it, Princeton took on Kentucky in the NCAA tournament last week, and lost 59 to 57 with two seconds left in the game. --And afterward, Princeton coach SYDNEY JOHNSON had to fight back tears while explaining to the press that he told his players he expected greatness. (--Search for "Princeton Coach Crying." He starts getting emotional at :31.)
Five Scientifically Proven Reasons That Having Kids Sucks:

If you're in your 30's and you haven't had kids yet, consider yourself lucky. Here are five scientifically proven reasons that having kids sucks.

#1.) You Have Fewer Friends. According to a new study in the U.K., the more kids you have, the fewer friends you have. -It's not much, but in the study, couples with NO children had an average of 4.7 close friends, while parents with more than two children had an average of 3.5 close friends.

#2.) It Makes You Dumber. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University tested the IQ levels of 173 married couples before and after they had kids. And the IQ of EVERY SINGLE PARENT dropped by at least 12 points. Most dropped by more than 20 points.

#3.) It Might Make You Depressed. Postpartum depression affects about 10% of new mothers. --But fatherhood can be depressing too, and according to an in-depth study funded by the Medical Research Council, 21% of fathers deal with at least one bout of depression by the time their first child turns 12 years old.

#4.) It's Bad for the Environment. According to a study done at Oregon State University, having two children increases your carbon footprint by 40 TIMES. That sounds crazy, but if you think about it, it makes sense: -If you DON'T have kids, you stop using energy and polluting the environment as soon as you die. But if you DO have kids, they'll still be driving, flying, and sucking up electricity long after you're gone.

#5.) It Might Turn You Into an Alcoholic. About one in eleven kids has some form of ADHD, and several studies have shown that if your child has it, you're much more likely to develop a drinking problem. (WeirdWorm.com)