HOW TO DEAL WITH DRAMA

FOUR WAYS TO DEAL WITH THE DRAMA IN YOUR MARRIAGE:

The TV show "Jon & Kate Plus 8" was supposed to be about the unusually large family of JON and KATE GOSSELIN. But it's their marital problems have made them household names.

Here are four things that cause massive amounts of stress for MOST marriages . . . along with advice on how to deal with them . . .

#1.) A GROWING FAMILY. Bringing home a new baby requires A LOT of adjustment. New parents are usually short on time, sleep-deprived, and undersexed . . . all of which can trigger depression and anxiety, which is why couples need to work together.

-Adjust your sleep schedules so one person sleeps while the other stays up with the baby, and ask your family and friends for as much help as they're willing to give.

-Also, make sure that exercising and socializing remain a part of your life. Couples who neglect their PRE-BABY existence tend to have a harder time adjusting to their POST-BABY lifestyle.

#2.) INTRUSIVE IN-LAWS. Most couples don't have extended family announcing their disapproval on national television, like on "Jon & Kate Plus 8". But nosy in-laws are common for almost every married couple.

-But just because family members always have their OWN ideas about how to run your life . . . it doesn't mean they GET TO. Listen to their advice, but in the end, decide what's in your best interest as a family. And you might need to present a united front to your family to let them know that you and your spouse stand together.

#3.) CRITICIZING EACH OTHER. Kate has famously criticized Jon for BREATHING TOO LOUDLY, and he always seems irritated by her compulsive neatness. When couples start arguing over small things, it usually means they haven't resolved a more important problem.

Sometimes, the person being overly critical doesn't even KNOW they're doing it. So, it's a good idea to sit your spouse down and talk it out. It might take some time to figure out the root of the problem, but in the end, it can prevent unnecessary and unproductive fights.

#4.) INFIDELITY. Both Jon and Kate deny rumors that they've been cheating, but it raises a common question for many couples . . . what constitutes an inappropriate relationship?

-The best thing to do is avoid putting yourself in ANY situation that you wouldn't be comfortable telling your spouse about . . . even if it doesn't TECHNICALLY involve cheating. But every couple has to develop its own definition of what IS appropriate and what's NOT.

Maybe you're comfortable with your partner going out for lunch with someone of the opposite sex . . . just not for happy hour. Whatever your views on infidelity are, it's important to sit down and talk about them.

-If someone DOES cheat, you need to decide together whether your marriage is worth saving. If you both think you can work things out, seeing a marriage counselor can be a MAJOR help.

And unlike Jon and Kate, if you decide to go your separate ways, at least America won't be watching as your marriage disintegrates on national television. (Health.com)

TOWEL PLEASE

THIS REPORTER GETS "WET & WILD" ON LIVE TV..

While a TV reporter is live on the air, a sprinkler next to him turns on and drenches him . . . but he finishes his report anyway.

(--The sprinkler turns on at :49.) http://vimeo.com/4965587
(Search Terms: wet KOMU 8 live shot Brandon Lewis sprinkler video)

MORE JO-BRO TROUBLE

A NEW JONAS BROTHERS SONG CALLED "MUCH BETTER" MAY BE ABOUT JOE JONAS' BREAKUP WITH TAYLOR SWIFT:

A while back, NICK JONAS denied that there were any songs on the upcoming JONAS BROTHERS album, "Lines, Vines and Trying Times", about their girlfriends . . . or exes. He was shooting down rumors that two songs, "Paranoid" and "Poison Ivy", included shots at ex-girlfriends.

Well, now there's talk that the lyrics of another song on the album, "Much Better", were written about JOE JONAS' sort of rough break-up with TAYLOR SWIFT. The lyrics, which Joe sings, reportedly include the lines: "I get a rep for breakin' hearts / Now I'm done with superstars / And all the tears on her guitar / I'm not bitter." "But now I see / Everything I'd ever need / Is the girl in front of me / She's much better." (--Joe is now dating actress Camilla Belle.)

And now, for some analysis: The "tears on her guitar" could be a reference to Taylor's track "Forever and Always", which she admits is about her split with Joe.

And here's more "proof": If you didn't know, Taylor also has a single CALLED "Teardrops on My Guitar". But that song wasn't about Joe . . . (--it was released in early 2007, way before her life was LIKE, TOTALLY RUINED by Joe.)

PUCKER UP BIG BOY

FIVE SIGNS SHE WANTS TO KISS YOU:

#1.) SHE MAKES EXCUSES TO TOUCH YOU. If she touches your arm, puts her hand on your leg, or rubs your shoulders, she's probably looking for a kiss. An even better signal is if she's touched your face or brushed your hair back.

#2.) SHE MAKES EYE CONTACT. Some women won't get touchy-feely, but nearly all use eye contact as a way to let men know they're ready for a kiss. If she's holding your glance for more than a couple seconds, it's a good sign.

#3.) HER POSTURE INVITES YOU CLOSER. If you're sitting next to each other, look at which way her legs are tilting and where her hands are. The more "open" her posture is, the better your odds.

If her legs are close to yours, and her hands aren't tightly locked up, she may be sending you the sign that she's ready to get closer. And watch her feet too . . . if she's letting her heel dangle out of her shoe, she's probably flirting.

#4.) SHE POPS A MINT. Test her by quickly excusing yourself to the restroom. If you come back and she's popped a mint, or she's chewing gum, there's a great chance that she's preparing for a kiss.

#5.) SHE WETS HER LIPS. This is a subconscious way of preparing for a kiss. She probably won't even realize she's doing it . . . so you have to watch carefully. Biting her lips or running her finger across them is another dead giveaway. (Happen Magazine)

BAD HABITS AT WORK

HERE ARE THE TEN *WORST* WORK HABITS:

#1.) PROCRASTINATING: If you work best under pressure, that's one thing. But a LOT of people say that. And here's what they REALLY mean: "I can't be bothered to actually do anything unless my job depends on it." That attitude stinks.

- If you put everything off until the last minute, people notice, and it gets old FAST . . . even if the end result looks good. And eventually, you'll miss a deadline.

#2.) SLOPPY EMAILS: Now that email is one of the main ways people communicate at work, using small caps, a casual tone, or lame acronyms isn't "cute" . . . it's just plain sloppy. You should run a quick spell-check too . . . most email programs have the feature built-in.

-And I can't say this enough: ALWAYS double-check the recipients. One little click can mean the wrong people getting a message you didn't want them to see . . . so only use "Reply All" if you REALLY want everyone in the office to know that "Brenda's rear looks good today."

#3.) DISSING THE BOSS: These days, bosses aren't cigar-chomping fat-cats who bark your last name when they want something. They might be younger, dressed down, and even part of the group when you grab drinks with your co-workers.

-But they're still the boss. Obviously, being on a first name basis is fine . . . if that's the rule in your office . . . but don't get TOO casual. Always remember to show respect for authority when that respect is due. 'Nuff said.

#4.) BEING TOO INFORMAL: At work, you're expected to take care of things without someone breathing down your neck . . . like showing up on time, working a full day, and dressing appropriately. Fudging things might not get you fired . . . but it DOES get noticed.

- And SMOKERS, I'm putting you on blast: If you think being a smoker gives you the right to take four or five SMOKE BREAKS a day, you are SO wrong. That's like an extra lunch break. That's not fair to eveyone else.

#5.) BEING A LONER: We all know it can be bad news to mix work and play too much. But if you're ALWAYS the guy who won't hang out at a work gathering? That's just weird.

-Hanging out helps build office camaraderie. Whatever you might think, it shows that you give a crap.

#6. ) RUNNING LATE: I don't think this one needs any explanation. Look, we ALL run late SOMETIMES. But if you do it all the time, you'll just look lazy . . . even if you're a rock-star WHILE you're at work. It's just one of those things.

#7. ) SAYING "THAT'S NOT MY JOB": Really? Because I'm pretty sure your JOB is to do WHATEVER THE HECK your boss ASKS you to do. Got that? If you don't think of it that way . . . then START thinking of it that way right now.

-Look, you might TECHNICALLY be right, but chances are, if someone's asking you to do something you don't USUALLY do, it means they really need your help. So, help. And you'll reap the rewards of being a clutch player sometime down the road.

#8.) ACTING LIKE YOU'RE SMARTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE: It's one thing to share your great ideas when they ARE great. But if you're always shooting other people down, you look like a jerk. So stop it. Swallow your pride, and be a team player.

#9.) TALKING SMACK: We've all heard the stories: Someone blogs about wanting to quit their job, or posts something negative about their dumb boss on Facebook . . . and it comes back to haunt them at work.

-Obviously, you're going to vent. But you have to do it in the right environment, with the right people. Here's a good rule: If you wouldn't tell EVERYONE in the office how much you hate your job . . . don't do it on the Internet either.

#10.) GETTING INVOLVED IN OFFICE POLITICS: Drama at the office is unavoidable. I have one thing to say about that: STAY OUT OF IT. You might get sucked in anyway, but play it cool. Office politics ruin people's trust, and it'll keep you from getting work done.(CNN / CareerBuilder.com)

I TOLD YA SO

EMINEM IS FINALLY TALKING ABOUT BEING STINK-FACED BY SACHA BARON COHEN AT THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS:

Yesterday, EMINEM finally opened up about being STINK-FACED by "Bruno" . . . a.k.a. SACHA BARON COHEN . . . at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday night.

In an interview with RapRadar.com, Em admits that he WAS in on it and he absolutely LOVED the results.

He explains, "Sacha called me when we were in Europe and [said] he had an idea to do something outrageous at the Movie Awards. I'm a big fan of his work . . . so I agreed to get involved with the gag. "I'm thrilled that we pulled this off better than we rehearsed it. It had so many people going 'nuts' so to speak. Everyone was blowing me up about it." - There has been speculation that Eminem was in on the stunt . . . but didn't know just how BARE Bruno's buttocks were going to be.

Eminem didn't elaborate on how much of it he knew about in advance . . . but either way, he sounds cool with it all. He adds, "After the ceremony I went back to my hotel and laughed uncontrollably for about 3 hours. Especially after I saw it on air." - Told ya! Good for Em for having a sense of humor!

OH, THOSE JO BRO'S

THE JONAS BROTHERS' MOM WILL BE OKAY IF HER SONS HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE:

Most of America seems concerned about whether or not the JONAS BROTHERS will have sex before they're married. But ironically, one person's who's NOT all that worried about it is their MOM, DENISE JONAS. She tells "Good Housekeeping" magazine, "They are men. They have desires. They have testosterone. If they make a mistake, I'm not going to hate them. "I don't think they are above or below being seduced. I would be foolish if I thought that. They are tested and tested, like every one of us. I pray for them."

As for those so-called "purity rings" her sons wear, Denise says, "They've been criticized for proclaiming things they never proclaimed. And what's the criticism? They don't want to go out there giving everyone an STD? What's so terrible about that?"

Denise says she tries to GUIDE her sons in their relationship choices . . . but she doesn't make their choices for them . . . "They have been hurt in relationships by girls. But it's just about growing up and learning what it means to be in a relationship."

Speaking of the Jonas Brothers and sex, check out this mildly erotic video of JOE JONAS copying BEYONCÉ'S "Single Ladies" video . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP-KFnYg6Hw

--It's kind of funny, but he's a little late to the party on this one, for anyone who saw JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and ANDY SAMBERG do it on "Saturday Night Live" back in November.

(--You can watch that here . . .)http://www.imeem.com/iunique/video/Q5D9vjFM/beyonce-justin-timberlake-single-ladies-parody-live-satu/

JON & KATE SCANDAL

IT'S GETTING A BIT OUT OF CONTROL NOW..

The "Jon & Kate Plus 8" scandal is totally ROCKIN' the tabloids and celebrity gossip magazines. If you've been to the newsstands recently, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you haven't, here's a sample of THIS WEEK'S hysteria . . .

(--Think about it: Just two months ago, none of us had ANY CLUE WHO THESE PEOPLE WERE, and now they're the second coming of BRAD and ANGELINA.)

GET THEM OUT OF THERE (6/4/09)

SPENCER AND HEIDI PRATT *DO* WANT TO REJOIN "I'M A CELEBRITY . . . GET ME OUT OF HERE!":

Not surprisingly, "Hills" knuckleheads SPENCER and HEIDI PRATT have had a change of heart . . . and would like to rejoin "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here!"

Heidi blamed their decision to quit the show on . . . (--wait for it) . . . Satan. She said, "We realized that we made a big mistake . . . and that the devil got to us and said, 'Get out of the jungle.' We realized it's not even about us, it's about the charities and it's about the experience here and we really took it for granted."

Spencer, who'd TRASHED everyone else on the show on their way off the set, has also had an epiphany. He said, "I love all of those people and I think that they are amazing and I can't wait to learn from their experiences . . . ". . . 'cause they all have such unique backgrounds. I just looked at the whole experience the wrong way. I looked at it selfishly."

But even though NBC clearly NEEDS them back . . . (--their on-again off-again status on the show is the ONLY THING GOING ON) . . . the producers are putting their fate in the hands of the rest of the non-celebrities on the show. And since this show has all the time in the world . . . it's essentially running NON-STOP over the next few weeks . . . the final verdict was delayed until tonight's show.

(--If you really care, in order to come back . . . the producers say Spencer and Heidi have to spend a night in the "Lost Chamber", which is filled with bugs, spiders and other rodents. And even then, the cast still has to vote them back onto the show.)

On last night's episode, only JANICE DICKINSON and JOHN SALLEY seemed inclined to give them another shot. Everyone else looked very disinterested. It's unclear how Spencer and Heidi's impending return would affect the viewers' voting to boot someone from the show. Since they had left the set on Tuesday night . . . they were not among the options to be eliminated this week.

Oh, by the way . . . a NEW "celebrity" was ADDED to the cast last night. DANIEL BALDWIN . . . is now onboard, joining his brother, STEPHEN BALDWIN .

There's some talk online about how all this Spencer and Heidi crap could have been STAGED . . . and how the producers may be orchestrating all of this chaos.

SILLY SITES

SILLY WEBSITES OF THE DAY:

#1.) There's a magazine that comes out four times a month in Austin, Texas, and it features all the best mugshots of people who've been arrested. --It only costs a dollar . . . but it's worth every penny. Or, just get it for free online at BustedInAustin.com. (--You can check out some of these mugs, here . . .)http://www.bustedinaustin.com/

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#2.) I've said it before, and I'll say it again: There's comedy gold to be found at AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com. If you haven't visited yet, you NEED to now. I guarantee it'll be the best 15 minutes of your day . . . or however much time you decide to waste on the site. http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

HELP AROUND THE HOUSE

***FOUR WAYS TO MAKE MEN HELP AROUND THE HOUSE***

According to the book "Will Marry For Food, Sex, And Laundry", men's brains just aren't wired for some chores. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't be expected to lend a hand.

Here are four ways to make a guy REALLY help out around the house . . .

#1.) HAVE HIM DO "MAN CHORES." This includes anything that's DANGEROUS, like climbing a ladder to clean the gutters. It also includes anything requiring TOOLS, like pruning the bushes.

Men also like to do things that show obvious results. Putting up shelves is a good example. Plus, he gets to use a power drill.


#2.) TRICK HIM INTO DOING HOUSEWORK. Ask him to clean the bathroom so you don't have to be around the, "dangerous chemicals." Or let him pick out a new vacuum cleaner . . . one with three speeds and detachable parts should spark his interest.

If you can turn regular housework into "man chores," he'll be more likely to do them.

#3.) DO CHORES TOGETHER. If you do chores WITH him, you can watch over his shoulder and make sure you WON'T have to do them again. Yard work is good to do together, and men are better at working outdoors.

#4.) GO ON STRIKE. It's best used as a last resort, but if he doesn't appreciate what you do around the house, then show him what it's like if you DON'T do the cleaning. Just make sure you can stomach stacks of dishes and piles of laundry for a while. (YourTango.com)

TIME TO BURN SOME CALORIES

HERE'S HOW LONG YOU'D HAVE TO EXERCISE TO BURN OFF CERTAIN KINDS OF JUNK FOOD:

It's a pain to keep track of all the things in food that can kill you. That's why it's so great that nutritionists have finally figured out what we REALLY need to know: EXACTLY how many minutes of EXERCISE it takes to burn off JUNK FOOD.

But let me explain something first: The exercise times I'm about to tell you are based on a person who weighs 155 pounds, exercising at an average rate.

But the good news is that if you ARE heavier . . . and let's face it, if you're eating a lot of junk food, you probably are . . . then you'll actually burn off the calories FASTER . . . because the exercise is HARDER for you. Got it?

Here we go:

-- To burn off a DUNKIN' DONUTS Chocolate Frosted Donut . . . that's 230 calories . . . you would need to WALK for 59 minutes.

--For a McDonald's Egg McMuffin . . . which is 300 calories . . . you're looking at 32 minutes of RUNNING.

--One Chocolate Chip Cookie from Panera Bread . . . 440 calories (!!!) . . . 62 minutes of BIKING.

--A slice of Pizza Hut Cheese Pizza . . . 320 calories . . . 39 minutes of SWIMMING.

--A Cinnamon Roll from Starbucks . . . 500 calories . . . 85 minutes of DANCING.

--A Burger King Whopper with cheese . . . 770 calories . . . 94 minutes of SWIMMING.

--A Brownie from Au Bon Pain . . . 380 calories . . . 129 minutes of YOGA.

--Wendy's Large Fries . . . 540 calories . . . 77 minutes of BIKING.

--Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Ice Cream Cone . . . 270 calories . . . 29 minutes of RUNNING.

--Taco Bell Beef Burrito Supreme . . . 410 calories . . . 70 minutes of DANCING. (Yahoo! Food)

(--The Whopper and the fries . . . man that's heart-breaking. By the time you're done working off lunch, it's time for DINNER.)

The Burrito Supreme and the Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream sounds more do-able. Or switch from the Egg McMuffin to a donut, and save 70 CALORIES at breakfast!!!

GET THEM OUT OF THERE

SPENCER AND HEIDI PRATT MAY *NOT* HAVE LEFT "I'M A CELEBRITY . . . GET ME OUT OF HERE!" AFTER ALL:

On Monday night's premiere of "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here!", "Hills" knuckleheads SPENCER and HEIDI PRATT threatened to QUIT the show. Regardless of how "real" any of it was, they eventually backed down and decided to stay.

Then on last night's episode, they actually DID leave . . . but according to several sources online, they could very well be back once again. (--This show is essentially being filmed LIVE . . . so unfortunately, we can't tell you now what the outcome is.)

If you actually watched this insanity, their "departure" was pretty ridiculous. STEPHEN BALDWIN . . . (--the born-again Baldwin) . . . offered to conduct a farewell BAPTISM for Spencer and Heidi. And they were all about it. (--They refer to themselves as Christians, if you didn't know. At one point in the episode, Heidi . . . with a straight-face . . . said, quote, "My goal is to be a true disciple of Jesus . . . a Mother Teresa helping the poor and the hungry.")

Anyway, they actually left the set not long after that . . . but E! Online is reporting that they cancelled plans to fly back to L.A., and are planning some sort of "dramatic return" on tonight's episode.

If you care, TMZ is reporting that so-called "production sources" tell them that Spencer and Heidi DO want to come back . . . but NBC hasn't agreed to let them return yet. (--It's unclear why not . . . this stupidity is the ONLY plot on the show.)

Seriously. Aside from PATTI BLAGOJEVICH'S teary monologue about how her family's lives have been torn apart by "the system" . . . Spencer and Heidi's status on the show is the ONLY THING GOING ON. And really, who cares???

You really have to wonder what NBC was thinking here. Did they sketch this show out AT ALL . . . or were they just hoping something interesting would happen??? A lot of reality shows are completely pointless, but this one is breaking new ground!

WHO IS THE MOST HANDSOME MAN IN THE WORLD?

"VANITY FAIR" WANTS TO KNOW: WHO IS THE MOST HANDSOME MAN IN THE WORLD???

"Vanity Fair" is conducting an online poll to determine the Most Handsome Man in the World. (--In March, they conducted a similar poll to find the Most Beautiful Woman in the World. ANGELINA JOLIE was the predictable winner in that one.)

--"Vanity Fair's" candidates for Most Handsome Man are . . .

--DAVID BECKHAM
--JOHNNY DEPP
--GEORGE CLOONEY
--BRAD PITT
--ROBERT PATTINSON
--JAVIER BARDEM . . . (--Despite a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for "No Country for Old Men", his biggest career achievement HAS to be nailing Penelope Cruz.)
--GAEL GARCIA BERNAL . . . He played Che Guevara in "The Motorcycle Diaries". (--He was also in "Babel" and "Y Tu Mama Tambien".)
--TOM BRADY
--DANIEL CRAIG
--LEONARDO DICAPRIO
--JAKOB DYLAN--Argentine polo player NACHO FIGUERAS
--JAMES FRANCO--"Mad Men" star JON HAMM
--HUGH JACKMAN
--CLIVE OWEN--DENZEL WASHINGTON

(--You can vote here . . .)http://www.vanityfair.com/online/style/2009/06/who-is-the-most-handsome-man-in-the-world.html

(--And are some picture of the candidates . . .)

HOW TO MAKE IT

HERE ARE NINE RELATIONSHIP TIPS FROM A COUPLE WHO'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 80 YEARS:

There's a couple named Bill and Marie DeCaro who live in Springfield, Pennsylvania and they've been married for 80 years. That makes them the world's SECOND-LONGEST MARRIED COUPLE. (--The longest-married couple lives in India, and has been married for 85 years.)

Marie is 99 years old, Bill turned 100 in March, and their 80th wedding anniversary is June 20th.

They got married in Philadelphia in 1929 . . . lost their money in the Great Depression . . . travelled the Vaudeville circuit . . . and danced in theaters during the silent movie era.

Here are NINE tips from the DeCaros about how to make your relationship last:

#1.) FORGIVENESS: Bill says the relationship has lasted so long because Marie, "never gets mad at anything. If we have a little dispute . . . which we have . . . in about 5 minutes she'll come over, or I'll do the same thing to her. Forget the disputes!"

#2.) CUDDLE: Bill says that when Marie can't get to sleep, "I turn around, put my hands on her stomach, and she falls asleep."

#3.) BE INDEPENDENT: Marie says she likes a man who's an independent thinker . . . so according to her, "Don't just gobble everything that I say . . . you got a head of your own . . . use your own head."

#4.) DON'T OVER-SPEND: Marie says: "Where do couples go wrong? They spend too much money."

#5.) TALK A LOT

#6.) LOVE A LOT

#7.) LAUGH A LOT

#8.) EXCERCISE A LITTLE

#9.) HAVE A LITTLE FUN (ABC)

ALL ABOARD THE TWILIGHT CRUISE

WOULD YOU GO ON A "TWILIGHT" FAN CRUISE???

If your love of "Twilight" reaches, like, the upper levels of fandom, then you might want to book yourself on the "Twilight" FAN CRUISE. It's a week-long cruise from Seattle up to Alaska and back. It sets sail in August of 2010, and tickets START at just over a grand.

On the upside, ASHLEY GREENE and KELLAN LUTZ . . . a.k.a. Alice and Emmett Cullen . . . will be there with you.

(--Check out all the info here . . .) http://www.twilightfanscruise.com/

BRTNEY'S LOOKING GOOD

DID BRITNEY SPEARS SPEND $350,000 TO GET HER BODY BACK INTO SHAPE???

There's no question that BRITNEY SPEARS has her SWEET physique back. But it didn't come cheap. The "National Enquirer" claims Britney paid 350-GRAND to get her figure back.

Obviously, for that kind of money, not all of her methods were NATURAL. A so-called "source" says Britney had a mini-tummy tuck, a breast lift and, "numerous peels and facials for her acne-prone complexion."

She also received injections of a soybean-based medication . . . which supposedly dissolves fat cells in the buttocks and thighs. Perhaps most importantly, she threw down $250,000 on a state-of-the-art home gym, and hired a personal trainer for $6,000 a month. Plus, she cut sugar out of her diet, and she's eating mostly fresh fruit and vegetables, and baked chicken.

A so-called "source" says, "Her body looks hard and her stomach is flat, and she doesn't care how much it cost her to get there. She's proud of her body again"

(--Check out Britney's new body . . .)

MUSIC NEWS

EMINEM HAS SOLD MORE ALBUMS THIS DECADE THAN ANY OTHER ARTIST:

EMINEM has sold more albums so far this decade . . . than any other artist in any genre. Since the first week of January 2000, Em has sold 31,127,000 albums. (--At least, according to a new report on Yahoo.com.)

Interestingly enough, THE BEATLES are in second with 27,591,000 in sales. (--Eminem's new album, "Relapse", just sold 608,000 copies in its debut week in stores. Those numbers are included in his total.)

You know someone's going to release a FINAL "decade" sales list at the end of the year . . . but until then, here's the current Top 20 Album Sellers of the 2000s:

#1.) EMINEM, 31,127,000 albums

#2.) THE BEATLES, 27,591,000 albums

#3.) TIM MCGRAW, 24,295,000 albums

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ADAM LAMBERT DOESN'T KNOW WHAT QUEEN WANTS WITH HIM . . . BUT HE DOESN'T SEE HIMSELF JOINING THE BAND:

ADAM LAMBERT still doesn't know what QUEEN wants with him . . . but he's downplaying all the speculation about the band hiring him as their new lead singer. (--Last week, Queen guitarist BRIAN MAY had said, quote, "[We] are definitely hoping to have a meaningful conversation with him at some point. I'd certainly like to work with Adam. That is one amazing instrument he has there.")

Adam tells the "New York Daily News", "They've never actually offered me anything. They expressed interest in working together, but just said they'd like to have a meaningful conversation, and that's it. "It could have meant they wanted me to come to dinner with them, it could have meant they wanted to talk about the meaning of life. --"I don't know if joining the band permanently is in the cards for me right now. They're legends; I'm just the new kid on the block."

Here's something to chew on: *IF* Queen did offer him the gig . . . would Adam be better off taking it . . . or turning it down??? Remember when CHRIS DAUGHTRY turned down an offer to join FUEL??? I think we can all agree that was the right choice.

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YOU CAN BUY A RYAN CABRERA CONCERT AT SAM'S CLUB:

RYAN CABRERA . . . (--who you may know from the tunes "On the Way Down", "True" and "40 Kinds of Sadness") . . . is for sale at Sam's Club. For real.

SamsClub.com is selling a, "Personal Concert by Ryan Cabrera" for just $24,500. And best of all: Shipping is INCLUDED. For that price, Ryan will perform for an hour, and hang out with you (and your friends) for another hour. He's willing to perform for "a birthday party, an office / school event or just a gathering of friends or family." And there's even a WARRANTY. The website says, quote, "This product is covered by the Sam's Club Member Satisfaction Guarantee."

If you're interested in purchasing a Ryan Cabrera concert for your home or office . . . or if you just want to soak in the details, hit up this link . . . http://www.samsclub.com/shopping/navigate.do?dest=5&item=355121

WANNA GET A GOVERNMENT JOB?

HERE ARE FIVE TIPS ON HOW TO LAND A GOVERNMENT JOB:

OBAMA talked-up job creation big-time to sell his economic-stimulus package. So where are all the jobs? According to Kiplinger.com . . . they're in GOVERNMENT. But you don't have to move to D.C. to get one, because 85% of them are somewhere else. Here's how to land one:

#1.) HIT THE WEBSITES: First, go to usajobs.gov. It lists over 45,000 openings, and has a link for positions created by the stimulus package. That's kind of overwhelming, so try hitting up the individual websites of federal agencies that interest you.

The big ones are all at dcjobsource.com/fed.html. They might have positions listed only on their sites, and you'll be competing with fewer people. If you're a student, try to land a Federal internship. There are about 200 internship programs at makingthedifference.org.

#2.) GO TO A JOB FAIR: The State Department, the FBI, the Treasury Department, and the EPA often fill UNADVERTISED positions at job fairs.

Here are a couple websites that list the job fairs:

www.govcentral.com/careers/articles/1871

www.fedjobs.com/chat/jobfairs.html

#3.) FIND A GOOD FIT: The most Federal jobs will be in areas the Obama administration listed as priorities: renewable energy, the environment, infrastructure, health care, and education.

Some of the positions they're looking for include: contracts and grants managers, procurement officers, financial managers and auditors, IT specialists, intelligence experts . . . and people with knowledge of the cultures and languages of the Middle East. (--Know any?)

#4.) BE PATIENT: Applying for a government job can be a long and tedious process. But that's actually a GOOD thing. Because other people are going to get impatient and mess up the application process.

So don't get frustrated, pay attention to the details, and keep your eyes on that prize: great job security, great benefits, easy hours, and lots of vacation time. Thanks big government!

#5.) TELL PAR STORIES: If and when you DO get an interview . . . do the same stuff you'd do for any job: research the position before, contact the hiring manager to introduce yourself, write a solid resume and cover letter, and follow up. And also . . . tell PAR stories. That means a story that demonstrates a PROBLEM you faced . . . how you APPROACHED it . . . and its positive RESOLUTION. Government is about solving problems so concentrate on your Problem Approach Resolution stories and you're set. (Kiplinger / Yahoo Finance)

AMAZING

YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!!

This guitar player plays 100 guitar riffs back to back . . . in one take.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNq94ZaZ0Yk
(Search Terms: 100 famous rock guitar riffs on take video)

DOGS CAN STOP THE BED BUGS

DOGS HAVE A 98% ACCURACY RATE AT DETECTING . . . BEDBUGS ???

Dogs are famous for using their noses to detect bombs, drugs, money, bodies . . . even melanoma. But did you know they can also be trained to detect . . . bedbugs?

An experiment at the University of Florida found that dogs were 98% accurate in locating bedbugs in hotel rooms. And other research showed that a dog-handler team is faster and more effective at detecting bedbugs than people alone.

I'm telling you about these AWESOME BEDBUG DOGS because we only THOUGHT we eradicated bedbugs: There's been a 500% increase in bedbugs in the past few years. It's mainly because of international travel, and because we banned effective-but-toxic sprays like DDT. Bedbugs can live in mattresses, sofas, books, or cracks in the floor for more than a YEAR without feeding. When they do feed . . . they suck your blood. People think they're too small too see, but they're about the size of an apple seed. And their eggs are the size of two grains of salt. (--Trust me, these things are nasty. I had a friend in New York who got a bed bug infestation. She basically had to move out . . . ditch all her stuff . . . and have a pest company fumigate the place for days. It cost a fortune.)

Bedbugs are small and hard to kill . . . that's where the dogs come in. They have amazingly powerful noses, but their work ethic and their basic desire to please people make them good at pinpointing EXACTLY where the actual, live bugs are. That's important, because when you know which rooms need attention, you can target those rooms, and those rooms only, using pesticides. It's cheaper than a mass fumigation, which costs thousands of dollars.

A guy named Pepe Peruyero trains dogs to find bedbugs at the J&K Canine Academy in High Springs, Florida. When the dogs find a bug, they're taught to "give the paw" or gesture with their nose. Pepe says he can train dogs to distinguish between bedbugs and their eggs . . . and the stuff that doesn't matter, like dead bugs, old skins, hatched eggs, or fecal matter. The dogs end up getting rented out at about $325 an hour. Which is expensive, but still cheaper in the long run. (The Atlantic)

(--Check out a photo of Nudie in action, he's a Chinese Crested-Terrier mix who's trained to find bedbugs . . .)

(--Check out a nasty video about bedbugs from "National Geographic", here . . . the bedbug starts drilling for blood at 1:20.)www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfKCcSPCOQo

HE'S STILL GOT 8 LIVES LEFT

A CAT FELL 26 STORIES . . . AND LIVED???

Have you ever heard of HIGH-RISE SYNDROME? Veterinarians created the term to refer to cats . . . who FALL OUT of open SKYSCRAPER WINDOWS during warm weather. Unlike tree bark and wallpaper . . . cat claws can't get a grip on window ledges, or brick or concrete walls . . . and during the summer, some big-city veterinary hospitals see THREE TO FIVE CASES A WEEK.

Here's one with a happy ending. Last month in New York City, Keri Hostetler left her apartment window open about 6 inches. Just enough room for her cat . . . who's named LUCKY . . . to squeeze out.

Lucky climbed out onto the ledge, lost his grip . . . FELL . . . and a neighbor's balcony broke his fall . . . 26 STORIES BELOW. Amazingly, Lucky only suffered MINOR INJURIES . . . and has already made a FULL RECOVERY.

According to the vet who treated Lucky, it's because when cats fall a really long distance, they reach terminal velocity, their body relaxes, and they becomes less likely to break bones. (WABC)

Even more amazingly, a crew of window washers was working across the street, and they managed to take pictures of Lucky on the ledge . . . falling . . . and landing. Check them out . . .

AVOID MEDICAL NEGLIGENCE

***THREE WAYS TO AVOID MEDICAL NEGLIGENCE***

Each year, 1.5 million Americans get sick . . . or even die . . . because they get the wrong prescription. And up to 98,000 people die in hospitals because of medical errors. So here are three things you can do to avoid being the victim of medical negligence . . .

#1.) CHECK YOUR PRESCRIPTIONS. Researchers reviewed 4,000 prescriptions and found that over 12 percent of them had been filled incorrectly! And one of the main reasons . . . is that doctors have HORRENDOUS handwriting.

--So ask your doctor to CLEARLY write the name of your medication, the dosage, and the frequency on a separate piece of paper. Then when you get the prescription filled, compare that information to the info on the label.

#2.) FIND HOSPITAL WORKERS THAT GET ENOUGH SLEEP. A recent medical study found that you're more likely to get an infection at a hospital if the employees work more than eight hours and 45 minutes a day.

--So before scheduling a procedure or an operation, call the directors of nursing at a few hospitals in your area, and find out how long the nurses are allowed to work each day. It's not the ONLY thing to think about when choosing a hospital, but it's one of them.

#3.) GET PERSONAL. Scientists found that when doctors reviewed CT scans from files that included a PHOTO OF THE PATIENT, they wrote more detailed notes about the case.

--Snapshots may help doctors feel a connection to you, so personalize YOUR file by providing a photo they'll see every time they open it up. (WomensHealthMag.com)

EAT! EAT! EAT!

THE COMPETITIVE EATERS FROM THAT FOURTH OF JULY HOT DOG CONTEST WARMED UP . . . BY EATING PIZZA???

Every year, competitive eaters JOEY CHESTNUT and KOBAYASHI compete in the Coney Island HOT DOG EATING CONTEST on July 4th. -Kobayashi (--who is from Japan) is the SIX-TIME CHAMPION . . . but Joey (--from San Jose, California) has WON THE LAST TWO competitions.

You may not have known it, but there's actually a COMPETITIVE EATING TOUR . . . and the two titans of eating met in Los Angeles on Saturday . . . for a PIZZA EATING CONTEST. They actually ate something called P-Zones which is a foot-long calzone produced by Pizza Hut, who sponsored the contest.

Both men ate NEARLY SIX FEET OF P-ZONE . . . in SIX MINUTES. But Kobayashi was the WINNER, with five-and-three-quarters P-Zones to Chestnut's five-and-a-half. b (Associated Press)

(--Kobayashi ate 6.4 pounds of P-Zone, which comes to 7,245 calories, 264 grams of fat, more than 17,000 mg of sodium, and 885 grams of carbs. Enjoy your reasonable meals today.)

(--Check out a photo of Kobayashi being declared the winner. . .)

HOW BIZARRE NEWS (06/01/09)

A CONTORTIONIST SET A WORLD RECORD . . . FOR BALANCING ON HER MOUTH???

A 28-year old British woman has set a world record for endurance . . . by supporting her entire body weight using just her mouth. Iona Luvsandorj held herself for over 30 seconds in something called the MARINELLI BEND . . . which is apparently one of the basic skills for a contortionist.

Iona bit down on a mouth piece while lying face down, then bent herself backward until her LEGS were resting on the BACK OF HER HEAD. She then held herself in that position for 33 SECONDS . . . which was 11 SECONDS LONGER than the previous record. (Telegraph)

(--Check out photos of Iona's record-breaking bend . . . and some other highlights of her career as a contortionist... Ouch!! )

=====================================================================

A WOMAN HAS SMOKED 171,500 CIGARETTES . . . AND JUST TURNED 101???

Five million people die each year from the effects of smoking. But a Canadian woman named Winnie Langley is not one of them . . . and she's been smoking since 1914. Winnie began smoking at age SEVEN . . . a few days after the start of WORLD WAR ONE.

She just turned 101 years old . . . and claims to smoke after EVERY MEAL. That works out to more than 171,500 cigarettes. According to Winnie, "You gotta have some vice. Some drink until it's coming out of their ears. Me, I smoke."

Winnie also calls smoking a ''bad habit'' and doesn't recommend starting. Not because of the health risk, but because, ''It's a waste of money.'' (Edmonton Sun)

(--Check out photos of Winnie using her birthday candles to light a cigarette from last year's 100th birthday. . .)

===================================================================

A SQUIRREL IS STEALING FLAGS FROM DEAD WAR VETS . . . TO BUILD ITS NEST???

You know those little American flags that cemeteries place next to the graves of war veterans every Memorial Day? Apparently, they're also really useful . . . for SQUIRRELS. Listen to this. -Mount Hope Cemetery in Port Huron, Michigan placed flags on 965 graves last Monday. But by Tuesday morning, many were gone.

Cemetery superintendent Ron Ceglarek tracked down the thief who was desecrating the graves, and discovered that it was . . . a small SQUIRREL, who was using the flags to LINE HIS NEST.

The squirrel tears the cloth flags off their little wooden flagpole . . . ROLLS THEM UP . . . and carries them to the top of a 45-FOOT-TALL SPRUCE TREE . . . where his mate weaves them into the nest.

The squirrel has taken more than a dozen flags . . . and the cemetery is considering removing the rest of the flags before the squirrel can take them. (Times Herald)

(--Check out photos of the grave-desecrating squirrels and their patriotic nest . . .)

EVERY PARENT SHOULD READ THIS

***SIX FIRST-AID TIPS THAT PARENTS NEED TO KNOW***

Summer is right around the corner, and that means kids will be out of school, outdoors, and . . . most likely . . . finding new ways to injure themselves. If you're a parent, or you'll be around kids this summer, here are six first-aid tips you HAVE to know . . .

#1.) NOSEBLEEDS. They're caused by dry air, allergies, and soccer balls to the face. Tilt the child's head FORWARD, not back, and apply pressure to the space above the upper lip, right below the nose. If the bleeding doesn't stop in 20 minutes, go to the ER.

Most people think you're supposed to tilt your head BACK if you get a nosebleed, but if you do, blood can run down your esophagus or into your lungs, causing vomiting or choking.

#2.) KNOCKED OUT TEETH. If it's a baby tooth, put it under a pillow and make an appointment for your child to see the dentist. Losing a baby tooth doesn't matter, but you'll want to make sure the fall didn't affect how the PERMANENT teeth will grow in.

If it's a permanent tooth, rinse it and store it in milk, then go to the dentist as soon as possible. DON'T put it in water, DON'T handle it too much, and DON'T brush it. All three things can make the tooth unsalvageable.

#3.) DISLOCATED JOINTS. Call 911 or go to the hospital. Whatever you do, DON'T try to pop it back into place. You'll almost certainly screw it up, and if you do, you can damage the bone, the surrounding muscles and nearby nerves.

#4.) ACCIDENTAL POISONING. If a child starts complaining about a stomach ache and says his "juice" tasted funny, don't be surprised if that "juice" was actually engine coolant or medication. If you think your child ate or drank something toxic, stay calm.

If the child seems drowsy, cranky, or suddenly congested, call 911 or poison control. But DON'T induce vomiting unless a 911 operator or a poison control expert tells you to.

#5.) BURNS. Don't use ice, butter or oil on burns. First-degree burns should be soaked in cold water, then treated with first-air cream. If the burn looks bad or covers a large area of skin, see a doctor. Electrical burns and chemical burns require immediate care.

Electrical burns aren't always visible on the skin, but they can cause internal injuries, so make sure the child sees a doctor. For a chemical burn, remove any clothing that might have been in contact with the chemical, and wash the burned area with A LOT of water.

Don't use any creams or ointments on a chemical burn since they can cause a chemical reaction and make the burn even worse.

#6.) PUNCTURE WOUNDS. If your child steps on a nail or a large piece of glass, don't hesitate to call 911. Bandage the area, and leave the object in place if it's still there. But if your child already pulled it out, apply pressure to control the bleeding.

Just make sure you wash your hands before handling ANY open wound. And when in doubt, call the doctor immediately. (AskMen.com)

SUSAN STILL HAS TALENT

SUSAN BOYLE DID *NOT* WIN "BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT":

May was a good month for talent show upsets. First, ADAM LAMBERT didn't win "American Idol", and then, on Saturday night, the very talented SUSAN BOYLE failed to win "Britain's Got Talent".

She was beaten out by a dance team called DIVERSITY. Susan was VERY gracious in defeat. As she waited for the announcement, she looked like she was about to pass out . . . but once it was over, it seemed like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

She said, "The best people won. They are very entertaining lads. I wish you all the best." As for what's in her future, she said, "I hope to get an album out. Who knows? I will just play it by ear." (--Here's the big announcement . . . notice that Susan mugs for the camera, and even shows a little leg . . .)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6d6OqqjeX8

(--Here's Susan's final performance Saturday night . . .)

http://talent.itv.com/videos/video/item_200287.htm

(--And here's the final performance of the winners, Diversity . . .)http://talent.itv.com/videos/video/item_200288.htm

Meanwhile, the not-always-reliable British tabloids say that Susan was rushed to some kind of private clinic called Priory following Saturday's finale, because she was suffering from exhaustion. A so-called "source" said, "When the paramedics and police arrived she agreed to go voluntarily. She didn't make a fuss. The paramedics calmly took her out through the main lobby and into the waiting ambulance. "It was all done very calmly. They didn't want to stress or upset her. She didn't look well . . .she looked lost, not all there."

A rep for "Britain's Got Talent" said, "Following Saturday's show, Susan is exhausted and emotionally drained. "She has been seen by her private physician, who supports her decision to take a few days out for rest and recovery. We offer her our ongoing support and wish her a speedy recovery."

***THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS ***

DID EMINEM ALLOW HIMSELF TO BE STINK-FACED AT THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS???

The MTV Movie Awards went down last night . . . and this morning, there's really only one thing anyone is talking about: EMINEM getting STINK-FACED by SACHA BARON COHEN. For those of you who missed it, here's what happened:

Sacha was making an entrance as Bruno . . . the gay fashion reporter he plays in his upcoming flick, "Bruno" . . . (--which premieres July 10th.) He was flying over the audience suspended on a wire, and wearing white wings and a jockstrap-type bottom that left his backside almost completely exposed.

But there was a phony "malfunction" in Bruno's harness, and he ended up hanging head first above the crowd. He asked to be let down, and they lowered him right on top of Eminem's seat. He ended up in a rather awkward . . . but HILARIOUS . . . position, with his bare backside directly in Eminem's face.

Eminem seemed INCREDIBLY ticked off. He said, "Are you serious? Are you effin' serious? Get this mother(effer) off me." Eminem's bodyguards jumped up and lifted Bruno off of Eminem . . . and then Eminem and his mini-posse stormed out of the theater. During all the chaos, most of the sound was cut out . . . presumably due to a barrage of obscenities on Eminem's part. http://gawker.com/5273616/bruno-gets-up-close-and-personal-with-eminem??31

THE BIG QUESTION this morning is, obviously: Was Eminem in on the joke??? It's obvious that Bruno was supposed to land on Eminem. The camera even zoomed in on Eminem looking up at him as Bruno was about to be lowered down. But were MTV and Sacha Baron Cohen messing with Eminem . . . or was he a willing participant???

At this point, it's all speculation. My guess is that he WAS in on it. Because something tells me that if he wasn't, his reaction . . . and that of his bodyguards . . . would have been WAY more extreme. I would have expected PUNCHES to be thrown at the very least. And they probably would have dragged him down to the floor and beat him down.

On the other hand, a lot of people think Eminem takes himself way too seriously to have ever agreed to something like this. Does anybody remember how he started a FEUD WITH A PUPPET back in 2002??? It was at the MTV Video Music Awards . . . and Eminem got mad during an interview with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

But if Eminem really DID participate in last night's sphincter-related chaos, it would prove that he really has come a long way . . . and that maybe he CAN take it as well as he can dish it out.

Not that anybody cares about the actual winners, but it was all about "Twilight" last night. The movie grabbed five trophies, including Best Movie. HEATH LEDGER grabbed the Best Villain award.

THE MTV MOVIE AWARD WINNERS:

- Best Movie: "Twilight"Best Male Performance: Zac Efron, "High School Musical 3: Senior Year"

- Best Female Performance: Kristen Stewart, "Twilight"

- Best Kiss: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, "Twilight"

- Breakthrough Performance Female: Ashley Tisdale, "High School Musical 3: Senior Year"

- Best Breakthrough Performance Male: Robert Pattinson, "Twilight"

- Best Song From A Movie: "The Climb", by Miley Cyrus, "Hannah Montana: The Movie"

- Best Villian: Heath Ledger, "The Dark Knight"

- Best Fight: Robert Pattinson vs. Cam Gigandet, "Twilight"

- Best Comedic Performance: Jim Carrey, "Yes Man"

- Best WTF Moment: Amy Poehler, "Baby Mama": Peeing in the sink

YOU THINK YOUR 1ST JOB WAS BAD

GWEN STEFANI ONCE MOPPED FLOORS AT A DAIRY QUEEN . . . AND OTHER BAD EARLY JOBS OF THE STARS:

We all love to hear about the horrible jobs celebrities had before they were stars. Well, here's a collection of them we found online. You may have heard some of these already, but most of them were new to me . . . so here we go . . .

--ORLANDO BLOOM worked as a clay pigeon trapper at a skeet shooting range when he was 13.
--BEYONCÉ swept up hair at her mother's beauty salon.
--MICK JAGGER sold ice cream as a teenager . . . then later worked as a porter at a mental hospital.
--COLIN POWELL worked in a baby furniture store in the Bronx.
--WARREN BUFFETT . . . one of the richest men in the world . . . worked at his grandfather's grocery store.
--AMY ADAMS . . . who plays a Amelia Earhart in "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian" . . . was a HOOTERS GIRL for two months.
--OZZY OSBOURNE worked in a slaughterhouse. (That explains a lot!)
--MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY spent a year in Australia when he was younger, and worked a variety of jobs. One of them involved shoveling chicken manure.
--CLINT BLACK sold newspaper subscriptions door-to-door.
--GWEN STEFANI mopped floors at a Dairy Queen.
--ROD STEWART was a gravedigger.
--JIMMY STEWART once painted lines on roads.
--JAMES BROWN racked balls at a pool hall.
--CHUBBY CHECKER plucked chickens. (--It was actually his boss who realized what a talented singer he was, and set him up with a recording session with DICK CLARK.)
--BILL COSBY sold produce, worked as a stock boy at a supermarket AND shined shoes.
--TOM CRUISE had the CLASSIC early job: He was a paperboy.
--ED MCMAHON worked as a carnival barker and a bingo caller . . . then sold vegetable slicers on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City.
--BILL MURRAY sold chestnuts outside of a grocery store.
--BRAD PITT once wore a chicken suit to advertise an El Pollo Loco restaurant.
--CHRISTOPHER WALKEN did some LION TAMING for a circus. (???) But he later claimed the lion was old, and was really, quote, "more like a dog."

TWILIGHT - NEW MOON - TRAILER

TWILIGHT TRAILER

If you're a huge "Twilight" fan but you didn't watch last night's "Twilight" love fest . . . (--Otherwise known as the MTV Movie Awards) . . . here's the trailer they showed for the upcoming sequel, "New Moon" . .

http://www.mtv.com/videos/movie-trailers/395235/trailer-premiere-new-moon.jhtml#id=1612947