DON'T HAVE A COW MAN

"THE SIMPSONS" STAMPS HAVE BEEN UNVEILED:

The U.S. Postal Service has unveiled their line of FIVE "Simpsons"-themed stamps, which will be available beginning on May 7th. Since the postage rates are increasing . . . AGAIN . . . on May 11th, the stamps will run you 44 cents each.

( Take a look at them, here . . .) http://www.usps.com/promotions/simpsons.htm

WORKING TOO HARD IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH?

GETTING PROMOTED AT WORK COULD BE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH:

If you've been killing yourself trying to get promoted at work . . . you might want to think about slowing down.

Here's why . . . --Researchers at the University of Warwick in the UK have found that when people get promoted at work . . . they suffer about 10% MORE mental strain.

And too much stress raises your risk of getting all kinds of diseases . . . from the common cold to CANCER. Plus, people who get promoted are 20% LESS likely to go see the doctor.

A guy named Chris Boyce led the study. He says, quote, "Getting a promotion isn't as great as people think. Our research finds that the mental health of managers typically deteriorates after a job promotion, and in a way that goes beyond merely short-term change. "There are no indications of any health improvements for promoted people other than reduced doctors visits, which may itself be something to worry about rather than celebrate." (Yahoo News)

(--So what can you take from this? If you want to LIVE . . . you need to totally SLACK OFF at work. Think you can handle that?)

EASTER IS ON THE WAY

***FIVE FUN FACTS ABOUT EASTER***

This weekend, some people will be going to church for Easter services, and some will just be eating WAY too much candy.

Whatever you're doing this holiday weekend, here are five Easter facts that most people don't know . . .

#1.) 16 BILLION JELLY BEANS ARE MADE EACH YEAR. So many, in fact, that if you strung them together, they'd wrap around the Earth almost three times. 90 million chocolate bunnies and 5 million marshmallow Peeps are also made each year for Easter.

#2.) PRETZELS WERE ORIGINALLY ASSOCIATED WITH EASTER. In Europe, pretzels used to be handed out to the poor on the days during Lent, and they were supposed to represent two arms crossed in prayer.

#3.) THE POLITICALLY CORRECT NAME FOR EASTER IS "SPRING HOLIDAY". Instead of "Merry Christmas," we're supposed to say "Happy Holidays," and ever since a 1999 court case in Indiana, we're supposed to say "Spring Holiday" too. But don't worry. The PC term is mostly used by government institutions.

#4.) THE LARGEST EASTER EGG IN HISTORY WAS 48 FEET TALL. The record was set in Portugal last year. The largest CHOCOLATE egg ever made stood 25 feet tall, weighed 8,968 pounds, and was so big, it needed a steel frame to help support it.

#5.) WHY IS IT THE EASTER *BUNNY*? The rabbit has been a symbol of fertility for many religions, and it's association with Easter started in Germany in the 16th century. Then, when Germans settled in Pennsylvania, they brought the Easter Bunny with them. In fact, the Germans first called it the "EASTER HARE". But by the 19th century, the Easter HARE was gone, and the Easter BUNNY had taken over. (The Complete Sheet)

FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS ABOUT THE ECONOMY

NEARLY HALF OF ALL WORKERS LAID-OFF IN THE PAST THREE MONTHS . . . HAVE ALREADY FOUND NEW JOBS:

In the past several months, hundreds of thousands of Americans have been laid-off from work. Now, obviously . . . that's bad news.

But there's a silver lining . . . According to a recent survey, 41% of workers who were laid-off in the last three months . . . have already found a new, full-time job. And another 8% have already found a part-time job. 59% of laid-off MEN have been able to find another job . . . as have 49% of laid-off women.

Meanwhile, 68% of workers in the 35 to 44-year-old age range have found a new job. And listen to this . . . 15% of laid-off workers say they're making MORE MONEY at their new job than they were at their old one . . . while ONE in FIVE say their new job requires them to work fewer hours.

Overall, ONE in FOUR laid-off workers who still haven't found another job . . . say they're seriously considering starting their own company. (PR Newswire)

KEEP IT CLEAN

***FIVE PLACES GERMS ARE HIDING***

Germs are everywhere. They're at home, in the office, and even in your car. About 99 percent of them are harmless, but that other one percent is downright scary.

Here are five surprising spots where germs like to linger, along with tips on how to get rid of them . . .

#1.) THE KITCHEN FAUCET. The metal screen at the end of the faucet reduces water flow, which is good for the environment. But it's bad for your health. Running water keeps the screen moist, so it's an ideal spot for bacteria to grow.

--TO KEEP IT CLEAN . . . Remove the screen once a week and soak it in diluted bleach. Most faucets simply unscrew, and the screen should pop right out. Once you replace it, let the water run for a few minutes before using it again.

#2.) YOUR VACUUM CLEANER. A recent study found that 13 percent of vacuum cleaners test positive for E. coli bacteria, which means you could be spreading it around your house every time you clean up.

--TO KEEP IT CLEAN . . . Change your vacuum bag frequently. You can even buy bags with antibacterial linings. And clean all the attachments with antibacterial soap and hot water every now and then.

#3.) YOUR CAR'S DASHBOARD. In tests of 100 cars across the country, the dashboard was found to be the second-most-common spot for bacteria and mold to gather. Food spills were number one. --Air from your vents carries mold spores and bacteria, and it often flows over the dashboard. Since that spot receives the most sun, it's a perfect place for bacteria to grow.

--TO KEEP IT CLEAN . . . Regularly clean your dashboard with disinfecting wipes.

#4.) SOAP DISPENSERS. A recent study found that 25 percent of liquid soap dispensers in public restrooms are contaminated with FECAL BACTERIA. It's because most of those dispensers are never cleaned. --And since a constant stream of people touch them right after they use the bathroom, they can get really gross.

--TO STAY CLEAN . . . You should still use the soap. But be sure to scrub your hands thoroughly for at least 15 to 20 seconds. And use hot water.

#5.) RESTAURANT KETCHUP BOTTLES. Most people don't wash their hands before eating, so even though you do, the guy who picked up the ketchup bottle before you could have contaminated it with who-knows-what.

--TO STAY CLEAN . . . Carry hand sanitizer with you. Squirt some on your hands and then rub down the bottle. Holding a bottle with a napkin won't do any good. Since the napkin is porous, microorganisms can pass right through.(Prevention Magazine)

TEXT MESSAGE PROBLEM

A FAMILY IN COLORADO GOT A $4,700 PHONE BILL AFTER THEIR DAUGHTER SENT 10,000 TEXTS . . . WITHOUT A TEXTING PLAN:

Last month, Gregg and Jaylene Christoffersen of Cheyenne, Colorado opened their phone bill . . . to find they owed Verizon $4,756.25 for one month of service.

Why was their bill so expensive? According to the Christoffersens, it's because their daughter . . . 13-year-old Dena . . . had sent more than 10,000 text messages, and had received another 10,000 . . . all without a texting plan.

Overall, Dena sent an average of more than 300 text messages a day . . . while at school. So Gregg did what any sane person in his position would do . . . and smashed Dena's cell phone into a million little pieces with a hammer. (--Strong move, Gregg.) (KUSA News 9 – Denver)

FUNNY VIDEO OF THE DAY

***IT'S THE SOUND OF MUSIC IN BELGIUM***

During an otherwise normal day at Antwerp's Central Station in Belgium, the song "Do-Re-Mi" from "The Sound Of Music" started playing over the loud speaker, and hundreds of people started doing a choreographed dance routine.

--The first person starts dancing at :44, and at 1:40, dozens of little kids run down the stairs and join in.)
(Search Terms: Do-Re-Mi "Sound Of Music" dance Central Station video)

WE MADE YOU

EMINEM'S NEW VIDEO SPOOFS CELEBRITIES:

The video for EMINEM'S new track, "We Made You", dropped yesterday . . . and if you haven't had a chance to check it out, you should. It's pretty wild. Throughout the entire video . . . (--and song) . . . Em relentlessly spoofs a TON of celebrities.

The list of targets includes . . . (--in alphabetical order) . . . Jessica Alba, Jennifer Aniston, Ellen DeGeneres, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, John Mayer, Bret Michaels, Sarah Palin, Tony Romo, Samantha Ronson .
. . . . . Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, "Star Trek" (in general), and Amy Winehouse . . . (--and her on-again, off-again husband Blake Civil-Fielder.)

(--You can check out the video, here . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIkzQYns61Q

By the way, Kim Kardashian has seen the video . . . and she LIKES IT. (--Kim doesn't take as much heat as some of the other "celebrities" do. Em pokes fun at her for her HUGE backside . ) -On her blog, Kim wrote, "I just saw Eminem's new video for 'We Made You' and he totally spoofs me!! It was a total surprise to me because I had no idea he was going to talk about me in the song. "I think this video is so funny! I am a huge Eminem fan and find it flattering that he would rap about me. He's a bit harsh about some other celebrities, but you just have to let it go and have a sense of humor."

TWITTER CALABO

NEIL DIAMOND AND LIMP BIZKIT MAY RECORD TOGETHER . . . THANKS TO TWITTER!!!

It's just now coming to our attention that (LIMP BIZKIT singer) FRED DURST and NEIL DIAMOND have been Twittering back and forth recently . . . and during the exchange, they agreed to meet up to discuss a COLLABORATION.

They first connected two weeks ago . . . when Fred tweeted Neil and said, "I am a huge fan of yours. We should do a collaboration . . . Neil Diamond meets my band Limp Bizkit. Sounds fresh."

Neil responded, "I'd love to, where and when?" And then Fred FREAKED . . . tweeting back, "FANTASTIC!!!!! Incredible!! What a dream come true thanks to Twitter!! I'm in LA. Follow me and we can 'direct message'."

Both of their Twitter feeds appear to be LEGIT . . . but of course, that doesn't mean that both of them were being 100% genuine. (--Although we hope they are.)

If you want to keep tabs on these guys and await any updates, here are their Twitter links . . .http://twitter.com/freddurst

http://twitter.com/NeilDiamond

HOW TO BE A BILLIONAIRE

HERE ARE SOME TIPS TO HELP YOU BECOME A BILLIONAIRE:

We all want to be billionaires, right? Of course we do. Why wouldn't we?

With that in mind, here are some tips to help you become a billionaire . . . based on an unscientific study of the world's 657 billionaires conducted by "Forbes".

#1.) Have parents with a math-related career: A significant percentage of the world's billionaires come from parents who had math-related jobs, like an engineer, an accountant, or a small-business owner.

#2.) Be born in September . . . but NOT December: More American billionaires were born in the fall than any other season . . . and the MOST were born in the month of September. Meanwhile, relatively few billionaires were born in December.

#3.) Get a graduate degree: More than 55% of American billionaires hold a graduate degree. And NINE in TEN who got their MBA attended either Harvard, Columbia or the University of Pennsylvania.

#4.) Or don't go to college at all: More than ONE in FIVE self-made American billionaires never went to college . . . or dropped out early (--including BILL GATES, STEVE JOBS and MICHAEL DELL).

#5.) Join the secret society Skull and Bones: A bunch of billionaires were members of the secret society at Yale called Skull and Bones . . . before going on to earn their fortunes.

#6.) Work at Goldman Sachs: At least 11 current or recent billionaires worked for Goldman Sachs early in their careers.

#7.) Suffer a bitter professional setback: Why? Because it will heighten your fear of failure . . . just like it did for so many of the world's billionaires. (Yahoo Finance)

KISS IN MANCHESTER??

KISS WILL LET THE FANS PICK WHERE THEY PLAY ON THEIR NEXT TOUR:

KISS are planning on touring North America this fall . . . and they're going to let US determine where they play. They're calling it the, "first-ever fan-routed tour" . . . and they're asking their fans to go to their website and vote for where they want them to play.

Naturally, the locations with the most votes will earn spots on the tour. But it isn't just the final tally . . . they're making it possible for smaller cities to compete with large metropolitan areas by taking population size into consideration, along with the number of votes. (--Technically, we could have KISS in NH.. You need to make it happen!!!)

If you DO vote, you will later have the opportunity to purchase pre-sale tickets . . . once the shows are actually announced.

(--To vote for your city . . . or to monitor which cities are picking up the most love . . . hit up this link . . .)http://www.eventful.com/KISS

(Enjoy this little clip of KISS on Family Guy)

EVERYBODY LOVES NEW ENGLAND

THE MOST "LIVABLE" CITY IN THE U.S. IS . . . PORTLAND, MAINE:

Recently, "Forbes" released a list of the most "livable" cities in the U.S. . . . based on income growth per household, cost of living, crime rates and the rate of unemployment. Here's a look at the ten MOST LIVABLE cities in America . . .

#10.) Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

#9.) Worcester, Massachusetts

#8.) Baltimore, Maryland

#7.) Cambridge, Massachusetts

#6.) Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

#5.) Tulsa, Oklahoma

#4.) Stamford, Connecticut

#3.) Des Moines, Iowa

#2.) Bethesda, Maryland

#1.) Portland, Maine (Forbes)

(--Check out the full list here . . .)

http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/01/cities-city-ten-lifestyle-real-estate-livable-cities_slide_2.html

THE MOST STRESSFUL TIME OF THE WEEK IS TUESDAY AT 11:45 A.M.:

Well, it's Tuesday morning, and apparently . . . that's bad news for you. Allow me to explain . . . A recent survey has found that the MOST STRESSFUL time of the week . . . is Tuesday morning at 11:45 A.M. Why?

Basically, we all waste our Mondays catching up on weekend gossip . . . and dodging work. But by Tuesday, reality sets in and it all comes to a head . . . trying to catch up on the work we've avoided and planning out the rest of the week . . . just before noon.

Overall, nearly ONE in FIVE employees are forced to work late on Tuesday . . . because of all the time wasted on Monday. (Daily Telegraph)

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NINE IN TEN AMERICANS CONSUME CAFFEINE EVERY DAY:

We hear an awful lot about the dangers of alcohol, tobacco and drug addiction. And that's good . . . because those things are dangerous.

But we hardly ever hear about the dangers of caffeine addiction . . . which is interesting considering that, according to recent estimates, as many as NINE in TEN Americans have at least some caffeine every day.

And HALF of those people will experience headaches and other symptoms of caffeine withdrawal . . . if they go just one day without it. (CNN)

GET LOW!

THIS KID HAS ALL THE RIGHT DANCE MOVES

And now . . . little kids dancing to "Low" by FLO RIDA. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. But watch . . . and realize that they probably have better moves than ME!!

(Search Terms: Dance moves that rock!)

STRESS RELIEF IS ON THE WAY

***SIX EASY WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS***

Did you know that 90 PERCENT of doctor visits are due to stress-related problems? It's true. Anxiety affects almost every aspect of your health. Trying to make huge life changes can be stressful itself, so here are five of the easiest ways to relieve anxiety . . .

#1.) FIND A RYTHYM. According to researchers at Stanford University, listening to music that has a steady beat can cause your brain waves to function rhythmically and relax you. Try loading your iTunes with a list of songs that get your foot tapping.

#2.) PHONE A FRIEND. Pouring your heart out can help you cope with stress AND it helps you come up with new ways to solve problems. Just don't forget to return the favor. Offering support can make you feel needed, which also reduces anxiety.

#3.) CHANGE YOUR LIGHT BULBS. Outfit your desk lamp with an old-fashioned incandescent bulb . . . especially if you're surrounded by fluorescent lights. Combining the two types of light can trick your body into thinking it's actually sunshine.
-And sunshine . . . or the perception of it . . . regulates your body's biorhythms. If you don't have enough, your immune system can get weak and mood swings can get worse.

#4.) DINE BY CANDLELIGHT. Low levels of light tell your brain to release melatonin, which gives you a better night's rest. Making sure you get enough sleep is the best way to keep your stress level down and your immune system up.

#5.) ANTICIPATE SOMETHING FUN. It doesn't have to be something HUGE. It just has to be something you look forward to each day. Maybe that's your mid-morning coffee break or the vacation you're taking in a few months. Whatever it is, focus on something fun, and it will keep your mind from drifting to all the things that COULD go wrong each day.

#6.) COMPLIMENT SOMEONE. When someone deserves a compliment, give them one. Research shows that the more personal connections you make, the better you body is at dealing with all kinds of stress.--Plus, making someone else feel good will make you feel good too. (SELF.com)

BARACK THE BARBARIAN

THERE'S A NEW COMIC BOOK CALLED "BARACK THE BARBARIAN":

There's a comic book about PRESIDENT OBAMA coming out in June . . . called "Barack the Barbarian". It's from a company called Devil's Due, and the first issue is called "The Righteous Retribution of Barack the Barbarian".

It'll be about how Obama is, quote, "destined to save the great republic of America and dethrone the overpaid despots." It sounds like the comic will depict both Republicans AND Democrats.

BUSH and CHENEY are characters from the Elephant Kingdom called "Overlord Boosh" and "Chainknee." But there are also enemies like "Sorceress Hilaria" and "her demigod trickster husband, Biil." That's because there's a major partisan gap in whether people approve of Obama or not. In fact, it's the biggest gap in history: There's a 61 percentage point difference between Democrats and Republicans about whether they approve of the president.

Check out some pictures from "The Righteous Retribution of Barack the Barbarian" here . . . featuring Obama with a loin-cloth and battle-axe . . . and SARAH PALIN as a hot barbarian in a bikini and wolf cape. - Hubba Hubba!) (Yahoo / AFP / Pew Research)

THE OBAMA'S IN FRANCE

OBAMA GREETED FRANCE'S FIRST LADY, CARLA BRUNI, WITH A FIRM HANDSHAKE INSTEAD OF A KISS:

When it comes to greetings, I'm a big fan of the handshake. Then again, if I'm being greeted by a hot lady, I'm definitely OK with a hug or even a double-cheek-kiss . . . because why wouldn't I be?

So what am I getting at? Over the weekend, PRESIDENT OBAMA was in Strasbourg, France to attend a NATO summit with foreign leaders from all over the globe. Anyway, when the president and MICHELLE OBAMA arrived in France, a huge crowd of people were there to greet them . . . including France's president, NICOLAS SARKOZY, and his hot wife, CARLA BRUNI. But instead of seizing the opportunity to kiss Bruni . . . Obama shook her hand.

Then, to confuse matters even more, Obama allowed some random lady in the crowd to kiss-greet him just a few minutes later . . . although, admittedly, it was kind of awkward and Obama didn't seem all that comfortable with it. (Yahoo News)

(--Check out a video of Obama and Carla Bruni's awkward greeting. . .)

(--Here is the video of Obama kiss-greeting some random lady in the crowd . . .)

FEAR OF MATH & HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR MATH SKILLS

THREE IN FIVE COLLEGE KIDS HAVE A FEAR OF . . . MATH???

According to a new study from the University of Granada in Spain, THREE in FIVE college kids have a fear . . . of MATH.

That's right. College kids have it SO GOOD that the only thing they have to worry about . . . is doing a couple math problems. (UPI)

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COULD CHOCOLATE IMPROVE YOUR . . . MATH SKILLS???

If you love chocolate and stink at math . . . then I'm about to make your day. Listen to this . . .

Recently, researchers from Northumbria University in the UK gave test subjects mass amounts of chocolate . . . the equivalent of FIVE candy bars . . . before asking them to count backwards BY THREE from a randomly chosen number between 800 and 999. (--So, if the number was 897 . . . the series would go, 894, 891, 888, 885, 882, 879, 876, 873, 870, 867, 864, 861, 858, 855, 852, 849, 846, 843, 840, 837 . . . and so on.)

So what was the point? Apparently, chocolate contains certain compounds called Flavanols, which are thought to improve blood flow to the brain. The questions was: Would improved blood flow to the brain translate into higher math scores? And guess what? --It worked. Test subjects actually scored better AFTER eating the chocolate.

But before you run out and gorge yourself on Hershey's to prep for your math final, you should know that when test subjects were asked to count backwards by SEVEN . . . the chocolate DIDN'T help at all. (Live Science)

(--So, chocolate either DOES or DOESN'T improve math skills. Good to know???)

(--By the way, if you want to conduct this test on your own, here's a series of numbers counting backwards by SEVEN . . . from 942: 935, 928, 921, 914, 907, 900, 893, 886, 879, 872, 865, 858, 851, 844, 837, 830, 823, 816, 809, 802, 795, 788, 781, 774, 767, 760, 753, 746.)

SOUTH PAW ROURKE

MICKEY ROURKE PUNCHED OUT CHRIS JERICHO AT "WRESTLEMANIA":

"Wrestlemania 25" is in the books. Don't bother looking for the results in the sports pages. I've got what you wanted to know right here:--MICKEY ROURKE did appear at ringside during CHRIS JERICHO'S match. And after the match was over, Rourke jumped into the ring and delivered a knockout punch to Jericho.

Jericho had defeated his opponents . . . old-school legends RODDY PIPER, JIMMY "SUPERFLY" SNUKA and RICKY STEAMBOAT. Then he beat down their corner man, RIC FLAIR . . . and started taunting Mickey. So Mickey hopped into the ring and put him down.

At a pre-"Wrestlemania" press conference, Mickey explained why plans for an actual match with Jericho fizzled out. --He said, quote, "My agents said it would be detrimental to my career. [Also], I'm doing 'Iron Man 2' now, and the insurance company said under no circumstances could I get into the ring."

DON'T MESS WITH TOM & GISELE

TOM BRADY AND GISELE BUNDCHEN GOT MARRIED . . . AGAIN:

As expected, TOM BRADY and GISELE BUNDCHEN had another wedding ceremony over the weekend . . . at Gisele's digs in Costa Rica.

Check out how HARDCORE the security was: A local paparazzi photographer showed up to get some pics, and he was approached by some hired goons who demanded he turn over his film. When he refused, they SHOT AT HIM . . . and blew out the back window of his SUV.

(--Check out this picture . . .)