HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (08-26-11)

Will and Jada are Fine . . . So Says Alfonso Ribeiro:

WILL SMITH and JADA PINKETT are doing fine, and we have that on good authority. Who is that authority? CARLTON!!! --ALFONSO RIBEIRO . . . who played Will's cousin Carlton on "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" . . . tells TMZ, quote, "They're not getting a divorce. They're all good." (--Here's video.) --Meanwhile, TMZ claims to have spoken to multiple sources on the set of Jada's TV show "HawthoRNe", and they say there's no way Jada was hooking up with co-star MARC ANTHONY. --They also said that whenever Will visited the set, he and Jada looked very happy.


Selita Ebanks Says the Diamond-Studded Victoria's Secret Lingerie Scratched Her Lady Parts:

Every year, Victoria's Secret unveils a multimillion-dollar bra and panty set encrusted with diamonds and other jewels. And every year, they pick a model to wear it. --On the surface, it seems like it would be an honor to be chosen. But the truth is, the lady who gets that honor is in for a WORLD OF HURT. --In 2007, SELITA EBANKS was chosen to wear a $4.5 million bra and panties covered with diamonds, rubies, emeralds and yellow sapphires. And her MOST DELICATE LADY PART screamed in pain. --Selita says, quote, "I wasn't scared [about the value], it hurt. Yeah, diamonds hurt. I don't know about wearing diamonds on your crotch. It's like you're walking and scraping. --"This is not cohesive to get a man. No man wants a scratchy vagina. That's not sexy. Nobody wants bruises on their vagina."


Celebrity Cradle-Robbers: Larry David, Alec Baldwin and Sean Penn:

#1.) LARRY DAVID is reportedly nailing actress AMY LANDECKER. She played Jane, a BISEXUAL chick Larry went after on a recent episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm". Larry is 64 . . . Amy will be 42 next month. (--Here's a picture of Larry and Amy . . . but not together.) (Huffington Post) (--And here's the scene from "Curb" where Larry and ROSIE O'DONNELL realize they're fighting over Jane. WARNING!!! There's some FCC-Unfriendly language in it.)


#2.) 53-year-old ALEC BALDWIN has moved in with his girlfriend, a 27-year-old yoga instructor named Hilaria Thomas. A source says, quote, "He's really in love. He's even met her parents. He sees marriage in the near future." (--Here's a picture of them together.) (New York Post)


#3.) 51-year-old SEAN PENN is giving his business to a 26-year-old girl. Her name is Shannon Costello, and she's the former communications director of his J/P Haitian Relief Organization. --Sean's last girlfriend, SCARLETT JOHANSSON, is also 26. (--Here's a picture of Sean and Shannon together.) (People)


Check Out Some Kim Kardashian / Kris Humphries Honeymoon Pics:

KIM KARDASHIAN and KRIS HUMPHRIES didn't want E! cameras following them to Italy for their honeymoon. But they have no control over the paparazzi. --So somebody DID get pics of Kim and Kris kicking back . . . and not surprisingly, E! was among the websites that posted them. (--Check 'em out here.) (E! Online)


Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly Broke Up:

According to "People" magazine, DEREK JETER and MINKA KELLY have broken up, after three years together. --Her representative confirmed it, and another 'source' said, quote, "They care about each other and it was amicable. They're still friends." --That's really all we know for now. Jeter's 37, and Minka's 31. She's been in Miami shooting the new "Charlie's Angel's" for ABC, which premieres September 22nd.
Rose McGowan Grew Up in a Free-Love Cult:

Here's one more aspect of ROSE MCGOWAN'S bizarre upbringing. When she was born in Florence, Italy, her family was part of a CULT. --It was called the Children of God, and its followers believed in FREE LOVE and prepared for the second coming of Jesus. --Rose calls her early surroundings both "pastoral" and "idyllic". There was only one problem: Women were subservient to men . . . which Rose wasn't cool with even from an early age. --She says, quote, "I've always been who I am. I did not want to be like those women. They were basically there to serve the men sexually." --Women were actually being offered to men at a very young age, and Rose's dad eventually took his family and LEFT, because he was worried that Rose would be molested. --Rose says, quote, "My dad was strong enough to realize that this hippie love had gone south." --Rose was about 10 when her family moved from Italy to the U.S. And she recently revealed that at 13, she ran away and was raised by DRAG QUEENS. --She says, quote, "There are people who will read this story and think I had a strange existence. I think they've had a strange existence!"


Kate Winslet Returned to Richard Branson's Burned-Out Vacation Home . . . with Branson and His Mother:

KATE WINSLET returned to the charred remains of RICHARD BRANSON'S vacation home in the Caribbean. --She was with Branson and his 90-year-old mother Eve, whom Kate SAVED when a lightning strike caused a fire that burned the place to the ground earlier this week. (--Check out some pics here.) (Us Weekly) --You'll notice in the second photo that Branson is holding a tortoise. That's a family pet. His name is ET. He actually survived the fire, but reportedly suffered some shell-charring. --Branson says, quote, "None of us could understand how anything could have survived that inferno, and ET will have pride of place in the new Great House once it's built."
--Kate says, quote, "I'm just so glad that everyone is safe. And this very easily could not have been the case. --"I will never forget Richard placing his arms around both my children as we were watching the flames, and saying, 'At the end of the day, what you realize is that all that matters is the people that you love. Everything else is just stuff. And none of that stuff matters.'"


Chris Brown's Neighbors Say He Has Violated His Probation Numerous Times:

As far as the courts are concerned, CHRIS BROWN has been toeing the line ever since assaulting RIHANNA over two years ago. But his neighbors beg to differ. --One of the terms of Brown's probation in that case is that he can't break the law. But the homeowners' association at Brown's West Hollywood Condo plans to send a letter to his probation officer, saying he does so on a regular basis. --It sounds like mostly minor stuff. They say he blares music at all hours and vandalizes property. But their biggest complaint appears to be that he parks in handicapped spaces. He even racked up $15,000 in tickets for that. --But Brown's attorney says that was all a misunderstanding. He claims that Brown BOUGHT those spaces when he moved into the building . . . and they were MIS-MARKED as handicapped. --He added that the citations were all dismissed. --Either way, the judge has asked prosecutors to get more info on Brown's supposed probation violations.


If Britney Spears Weren't a Singer, She'd Be a Teacher:

You may not enjoy hearing BRITNEY SPEARS sing . . . but trust, me, it's for the best. --Because if she wasn't singing, Britney would be TEACHING OUR KIDS. She tells the website PopJustice.com that she probably would have gone into education if she hadn't become a star. --She says, quote, "I'd specialize in reading and history." And she says her favorite historical period is the 1920s. -She adds, quote, "I love kids, and even in what I do now one of my favorite parts of my day is getting to meet my fans before the show. Especially the little ones. They are always so cute." --Britney says that if either of her kids want to follow her into showbiz, she won't get in their way . . . quote, "I'd definitely keep an eye on them, but if that's what they wanted to do then I'd let them go after it. I'd just be very protective."


IT'S ON!!! Between Erik Estrada and George Lopez!

Today, there is no unity in the Latino community . . . because "CHiPs" stud ERIK ESTRADA is taking potshots at GEORGE LOPEZ over the cancellation of his talk show, "Lopez Tonight". --Erik says, quote, "His show was supposed to be canceled after the first season, but Conan wanted to keep it on. --"There's a lot of things people don't know about this guy . . . For me to talk about this guy, I'm wasting my time. The law of God, the law of Karma, is on him right now. He is doomed." --If all this has you shaking your head and saying, "Que?", you're not alone. I never knew there was heat between these guys. But apparently, there is. --"Latina" magazine says they've been feuding for years, because George likes to make fun of Erik's career in his standup act. --And Erik claims he once confronted George at a church carnival, but George was afraid to fight him.
SPORT SHORTS

"ESPN The Magazine" Ran a Picture of Michael Vick as a White Guy:

In the new issue of "ESPN The Magazine", there's an article titled "What If Michael Vick Were White?" --The whole point the author is trying to make in this piece is that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine Vick as a white guy. Flipping his race would change too many variables. He simply wouldn't be Michael Vick anymore. So the attempt itself is foolish. --So many people have tried to do it anyway . . . especially when Vick was arrested for dogfighting, and the question came up again and again: Would Vick have received such a harsh sentence if he were white? --Anyway . . . The MORONS at "ESPN the Magazine" obviously didn't get the point . . . because they ran a computer-generated image with the story of MICHAEL VICK AS A WHITE GUY. (--Check it out here.) (--You can also see the photo, along with the article, here.) --Not only does the photo run counter to the point of the article . . . it's also potentially OFFENSIVE. After some online outcry, ESPN took it off the web. But then they put it back up. --Even if they'd kept it off the web, the photo is already in the print edition, and it's too late to take it back.


NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND

This Week's New Movies Include: Zoe Saldana Kicking Ass . . . Paul Rudd Smoking Pot . . . and Katie Holmes Fighting Monsters:

#1.) "Colombiana" (PG-13)

Zoe Saldana plays an assassin who's looking for revenge on the mobster who ordered a hit on her parents when she was a little girl. And "Alias" stud Michael Vartan is the lucky guy who gets to sample her other talents. (Trailer) (Animated Teaser)


#2.) "Our Idiot Brother" (R)

Paul Rudd plays the pot-smoking brother of Elizabeth Banks, Emily Mortimer, and Zooey Deschanel. When his girlfriend kicks him out, they take turns letting him live with them. It also stars Rashida Jones as Zooey's lesbian life-partner. (--CAREFUL: There's a B-word at the 1:47 mark in the trailer.)


#3.) "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" (R)

Guillermo Del Toro directs this remake of a 1973 horror movie about a woman who inherits an old mansion, and accidentally releases creatures that whisper her name from the basement. In this one they're terrorizing a little girl. Her dad is played by "Memento's" Guy Pearce. And Katie Holmes plays his girlfriend. (Trailer) (Original)


Dan Aykroyd Says "Ghostbusters 3" Will Film Next Spring . . . With or Without Bill Murray:

The whole "Ghostbusters 3" will-it-or-won't-it-happen saga is getting a little tired. But this is worth noting: --DAN AYKROYD says the movie is filming next spring . . . WITH OR WITHOUT BILL MURRAY. --He says, quote, "What we have to remember is that 'Ghostbusters' is bigger than any one component, although Billy was absolutely the lead and contributive to it in a massive way, as was the director and Harold [Ramis], myself and Sigourney [Weaver]. --"The concept is much larger than any individual role and the promise of 'Ghostbusters 3' is that we get to hand the equipment and the franchise down to new blood." --But he added that they will "hopefully" have Murray onboard. (--There is an injustice here, and it has nothing to do with Bill Murray. It has to do with the fact that Dan noted the contributions of just about everyone else EXCEPT THE BLACK GHOSTBUSTER! -Did ERNIE HUDSON contribute NOTHING to the franchise??? ATTICA! NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE! Sit down right next to Rosa, Ernie, and don't give up that seat!!!
Johnny Depp Will Cameo as a Teacher in the "21 Jump Street" Movie:

"Life & Style" magazine claims to have the scoop on JOHNNY DEPP'S cameo in the "21 Jump Street" movie. --They say he'll play a TEACHER. --"Jump Street" was one of Johnny's earliest roles. He played a cop named Tom Hanson on the show from 1987 to 1990. --His character was part of a group of cops who masqueraded as teenagers in order to go undercover at high schools, colleges and other places were teens were causing trouble. --The movie stars JONAH HILL and CHANNING TATUM, and it's NOT a goof on the show. -While there's humor in it, Hill describes it as, quote, "An R-rated, insane, 'Bad Boys'-meets-John Hughes-type movie." It's due out next March.


The Latest "Dancing with the Stars" Rumor: David Arquette:

TMZ claims DAVID ARQUETTE will be on "Dancing with the Stars" this season . . . and that KYM JOHNSON is his partner. As usual, ABC won't comment. --David joins a long list of other rumored stars, including: Kim Kardashian's brother Rob, Christina Milian, Regis Philbin, Lindsay Lohan, Dina Lohan, Shaquille O'Neal, Nick Jonas, Donnie Wahlberg, Queen Latifah, Snooki . . . --Tiffani Thiessen, George Clooney's ex Elisabetta Canalis, Roseanne Barr and Chaz Bono. (--We still have our fingers crossed for Chaz! Some of these "stars" have denied that they're doing "Dancing" . . . but Chaz isn't one of them.) --The official cast will be revealed during Monday's episode of "Bachelor Pad". "Dancing with the Stars" premieres on September 19th.


You Can Watch 3,000 Hours of TV News from 9/11 Through One Site:

The 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks is coming up in a few weeks . . . and in tribute, a collection of 3,000 9/11-related videos from news stations all over the world has been archived online. --Technically, a version of this library has been online for a while, but it's just been organized and re-launched. You can check it out at http://www.archive.org/911.


WEEKEND TV REMINDERS

Friday TV Reminders:

--"Pre-Season Football" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on CBS. (--The Indianapolis Colts host the Green Bay Packers at Lucas Oil Stadium.)

--"LFL Presents: Friday Night Football" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 P.M. to Midnight Eastern on MTV2. (--The Lingerie Football League returns with Green Bay Chill hosting Minnesota Valkyrie.)

--"Karaoke Battle USA" [Performance Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.

--"Man vs. Wild" [7th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery.

--"Surviving the Cut" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Discovery.

Saturday TV Reminders:

--"Biography: Pink" . . . 7:00 to 8:00 A.M. on A&E.

--"NASCAR Sprint Cup Series" . . . 7:30 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on ABC.

--"Pre-Season Football" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on CBS. (--The Detroit Lions host the New England Patriots at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.)

--"Grand Ole Opry Live" . . . 7:00 to 9:00 P.M. on GAC. (--Clay Walker, Jimmy Wayne, Tommy Emmanuel and Sierra Hull perform.)


--"Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Cheap Trick performs.) (REPEAT)

--"William & Catherine: A Royal Romance" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on the Hallmark Channel. (--Victor Garber and Jean Smart star as Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles in this story of William and Kate's romance.)

--"Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic. (--KISS band member Paul Stanley is the guest teacher / mentor.)

--"24/7: Mayweather/Ortiz" [12th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on HBO. (--Boxers Floyd Mayweather and Victor Ortiz prepare for their welterweight-title fight in Las Vegas this September.)

--"Godfrey: Black by Accident" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Comedy Central. (--Comedian Godfrey performs in New York City at the Gramercy Theatre.)

--"That Metal Show" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic. (--Warrant's Jani Lane, Stryper's Michael Sweet and Faster Pussycat's Taime Downe were the guests in this repeat episode. RIP Jani Lane.)

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Paul Rudd guest hosts and Paul McCartney is the musical guest.) (REPEAT)

Sunday TV Reminders:

--"Pre-Season Football" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on NBC. (--The Oakland Raiders host the New Orleans Saints at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum.)

--"Madden NFL 12 Pigskin Pro-Am" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Celebrities and NFL stars face off in a flag-football game.)

--"Jerseylicious" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Style. (--Kelly Ripa guests.)


--"2011 MTV Video Music Awards" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV. (--Performers include Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Adele, Lil' Wayne, Bruno Mars, Chris Brown, Pitbull, and Young the Giant.) (--Here are this year's nominees.)

--"Leverage" [4th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TNT.

--"Drop Dead Diva" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Lifetime. (--Teri's high school nemesis, played by "Millionaire Matchmaker's" Patti Stanger, sues her for slander.)

--"Vegas Strip" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TruTV.

--"I Just Want My Pants Back" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on MTV. (--A sitcom about a guy who lets a hookup steal his skinny jeans.)


BIEBER FEVER

Justin Bieber Is Putting Out a Christmas Album for Charity:

JUSTIN BIEBER is recording a Christmas album . . . and at least some of the proceeds will be going to charity. There's no word on a specific charity yet. (--It sounds like ALL the proceeds will be donated, but that's not 100% clear.) --All we know about the album is that it'll feature, quote, "some classics and some originals." There's no title or release date yet.


Olivia Munn's Character Calls Justin Bieber a "Billion Dollar Mistake" in Her New Movie . . . and Here's Why:

In the upcoming movie "I Don't Know How She Does It", Olivia Munn's character jokes that Justin Bieber is a, quote, "billion dollar mistake." --Olivia explains the joke to "Access Hollywood" . . . saying, quote, "Look, Justin Bieber was a mistake. Teenagers don't get pregnant on purpose, OK? However, that mistake turned into a billion dollar idea! --"So, I think teenagers around the world, load it up! Let's make some Biebers! The economy needs a little boost. Let's make some Biebers!" (--You can find that clip from the interview, here.) --Just to be clear, though, Olivia IS a fan. She says, quote, "I'm a Belieber, 100%." (--"I Don't Know How She Does It" hits theaters on September 16th.)


Pitbull Didn't Mean to Dis Lindsay Lohan on "Give Me Everything", and He Wants Her to Come to the "VMAs" with Him:

PITBULL is confused. LINDSAY LOHAN recently SUED HIM because he name-checked her on "Give Me Everything" . . . where he raps, quote, "Hustlers move in silence, so I'm tiptoein', to keep blowin' / I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan." --Pitbull says he was "very surprised" when he heard about the lawsuit, because he wasn't trying to dis her, he was just trying to keep her relevant. (--Actually, THAT sounds like a dis, even though it's probably unintentional.) --He explains, quote, "I didn't look to [defame], degrade, or hurt someone's career. For me, mentioning it on a #1 record around the world, I thought it would be helping someone's career, and also keeping them relevant." --Pitbull also says a dis would be out of place . . . quote, "[It's] ironic, being that it's such a positive record . . . [I] support Lindsay's career, [I've] seen her go through everything she's gone through." --He says he doesn't know how the legal stuff will shake out . . . but he's willing to make amends on a personal level. He even invited Lindsay to come with him to the "MTV Video Music Awards" this Sunday. --There's no response from Lindsay, but that'd be interesting because Pitbull is PERFORMING "Give Me Everything" at the "VMAs". (--Here's video of Pitbull's comments.) (--Look . . . I'm no expert on Pitbull or anything, but he seems genuine to me. And let's be honest, the line about Lindsay was just wordplay. That's what rapping is all about. It wasn't a line that was meant to cut her down.) (--The lyric is about how he's got his rap game "locked down" . . . and he compares that to Lindsay being "locked up," which she WAS. That's a fact.) (--It's supposed to be fun, not slander . . . and it makes Lindsay look ridiculous for pretending that it's anything else. Lindsay is doing more harm to her image by trying to shake down Pitbull, than Pitbull did in name-checking her.) (--I hope Lindsay DOES take Pitbull up on his offer to go to the "VMAs", and maybe they even have some kind of onstage moment. That would surely end this frivolous lawsuit . . . not that it has any legs anyway.)


Kesha's Fans in Chicago Gave Her a Baby Tooth and Human Blood:

KESHA has it all: Top-shelf talent . . . a successful music career . . . an endearing personality . . . and a drop-dead gorgeous body. (???) So what do you give someone who has everything? --Weird stuff, obviously. --Some diehard Kesha fans in Chicago recently presented her with a beautiful necklace, which came with a BABY TOOTH AND A VIAL OF BLOOD. (--Here's a shot of Kesha wearing this thing.) --It's sorta messed up, but Kesha did request such a gift earlier this summer. Back in May, she was asking fans to send her their teeth . . . because she wanted to make a necklace out of them. --She Tweeted, quote, "Please send me your teeth. I'm dead serious. I need your teeth . . . I love my fans . . . Let me wear ur teeth." --And the vial of blood is actually sort of WEAK compared to some of Kesha's other necklaces. Like the one that includes remnants of her own placenta. --A while back, she explained, quote, "My favorite keepsake is my placenta. My mom found it in my basement, crushed it up, and made into a necklace that I wear every day to improve my psychic abilities." (???)


Video of Selena Gomez Busting Out a Nicki Minaj Rap:

SELENA GOMEZ recently showed off her RAP SKILLS. --During an interview with "Much Music", Selena launched into NICKI MINAJ'S "Super Bass" . . . and she wasn't bad. (--Here's video. Note: Selena tweaked some of the lyrics to make it more kid-friendly.)


Watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt Singing Nirvana's "Lithium":

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT hopped onstage at some concert event in Seattle earlier this week, and performed the NIRVANA song "Lithium". He really got into it . . . and it was awesome. --In the middle of the performance, Joseph stopped to say, quote, "It seems like every time people bring up Nirvana, they want to talk about how Mr. Cobain killed himself . . . and I gotta say, it doesn't matter to me. --"It doesn't matter that he's dead. It doesn't matter how he died . . . his songs are [effing] awesome! That's what matters." (--There's video, here. WARNING: There are multiple S-words and F-bombs.) (--By the way, JON STEWART from "The Daily Show" is hosting a chat with surviving Nirvana members DAVE GROHL and KRIST NOVOSELIC on SiriusXM. This is happening on September 24th . . . the 20th anniversary of the day Nirvana released "Nevermind".)
FRIDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


Inspired by JIM CARREY'S video declaration of love for EMMA STONE, KATHY GRIFFIN has recorded one for JUSTIN BIEBER. Hers is funnier, but only because she makes it pretty obvious that it's a joke. (Video)


The people who run the Hollywood Walk of Fame say they will NOT recognize reality TV stars. (Full Story)


Is ASHLEE SIMPSON drunk-dialing PETE WENTZ and begging him to take her back? (Full Story)


MARK and DONNIE WAHLBERG are partnering with their brother PAUL, who's a chef, to open a hamburger joint in Boston called Wahlburgers. But they had to actually buy the name from a restaurant owner in Rochester, New York named Tom Wahl. It wasn't the name of his restaurant, but he had it trademarked because he sold a sandwich called The Wahlburger. (Full Story)


DINA LOHAN is trying to produce a movie about a heroin addict, played by her son Michael Lohan Jr. According to a business plan she worked up to get financing, her casting wish list includes Dakota Fanning, Selena Gomez, Michael Cera, James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon, Tina Fey, Amanda Seyfried, Hayden Panettiere, Emma Stone and Mila Kunis. (Full Story)


On September 6th, iTunes will FINALLY get AEROSMITH'S old albums, including: their self-titled debut, "Get Your Wings", "Toys in the Attic", "Rocks", "Draw the Line", "Night in the Ruts" and "Rock in a Hard Place". (Full Story)


RANDOM STUFF

THE GOOD NEWS

The East Cost Earthquake Cured a 75-Year-Old Deaf Guy:

No one seems to know how this happened scientifically . . . so we're going to go ahead and call it DIVINE INTERVENTION. --75-year-old Robert Valderzak of Washington, D.C. lost his hearing when he fell on Father's Day this past June. --On Tuesday, he was at the Veteran's Affairs Hospital in D.C. when the earthquake hit. And somehow . . . it CURED HIS DEAFNESS. --The doctors at the hospital can't fully explain it. They say Robert's deafness was caused by problems with fluid or the bones in his ear, and somehow the earthquake shook things up and made them work again. --If that doesn't feel like a very medically-sound explanation, it shouldn't . . . basically, they don't know HOW the earthquake helped Robert hear again. --Robert says HE understands, though. Quote, "To me, it was a miracle, a blessing from God up above. Couldn't ask for a better day." (FOX 5 - Washington, D.C.)


A School Bus in Iowa Exploded On the First Day of School . . . But No One Was Hurt:

Now THIS is how you get a school year off to a memorable start. --On Tuesday afternoon, in Pleasant Hill, Iowa, 16 seventh and eighth graders were on a school bus, headed home from their first day of classes at Southeast Polk Junior High. --The driver was John Fothergill. He's been driving school busses for 10 years and knew something was wrong when he saw black smoke coming out of the hood. So he quickly shut off the bus. --When he did, FLAMES shot up from the engine compartment. He told the 16 kids onboard to evacuate . . . and they did quickly and calmly. John says, quote, "No pushing, no shoving, no screaming. They just did what they were told to do." --And that's a good thing. Because JUST as John and the kids got a safe distance away from the school bus . . . IT EXPLODED. --There were NO injuries. The fire department is examining how the fire happened. --The Southeast Polk school district practices school bus evacuation drills with students every year starting in kindergarten . . . and, clearly, THIS is why they do that. (CBS 8 - Des Moines)
People are Willing to Spend A Lot of Money on Love in This Economy . . . But Only During the First Three Months of a New Relationship:

Even in this economy, people are still willing to spend big money on falling in love. Once they've actually fallen in love, though . . . yeah, time to go back to putting that money toward paying the electric bill. --A new survey out of England has found that people are willing to extend themselves financially for the first three months of a new relationship. After that, though, they tighten up.

--In the first three months . . .

--75% are willing to spend big money on new clothes for a first date they're optimistic about.

--57% are willing to take the new person they're with out to an expensive meal.

--46% buy flowers.

--25% buy jewelry.

--And 20% pay for a romantic weekend away.

--Overall, 42% of people say they'd be willing to go INTO DEBT to impress someone new.

--But all of it comes with a warning: DON'T spend big early and then stop spending completely . . . 25% of people say they'd consider breaking things off with someone if they found out that person is extremely cheap. (PR Newswire)


The Ideal Woman is a Size 11 . . . with Black Hair and Blue Eyes:

We're basically trained from birth to believe there's NOTHING more attractive than a super-skinny blonde. According to a new survey from the social networking and dating site Badoo, that's ALL WRONG. --They surveyed men in the U.S., England, France, Spain, Italy, and Brazil, and asked their favorite woman's eye color, hair color, and body type. And both "skinny" and "blonde" came in THIRD. --The ideal woman has an "average" body type . . . size 10 to 12 . . . black hair, and blue eyes. --For body types, "average" came in first . . . curvy, size 12 to 16, came in second . . . skinny, size four to six, came in third . . . and full-figured, size 16 and up, came in fourth. --For eye color, blue dominated the list. Brown came in second, green is third, and hazel is fourth. --And for hair, black was first, brown was second, blonde was third, and red was a distant fourth. --Those results were the same in EVERY country with only a few exceptions. The French men are the only ones who picked "skinny" as their favorite body type . . . and British men preferred brown hair. Otherwise, it was the same across the board. (Daily Mail)


Women Have Shorter Commutes Than Men . . . But Commuting Bothers Them More:

This study was conducted in the U.K., but I'm SURE it would apply here in the U.S. as well. --Researchers from the University of Sheffield and the London School of Economics found that women have shorter commutes than men do . . . but they're more upset about it. --The average person's commute is 54 minutes a day, which is up six minutes from a decade ago. But women's average commute is four minutes shorter each way compared to men's. That means they get an extra 40 minutes a week at home. --Women also work only 29 hours a week, nine hours fewer than men. --But according to the study, long commutes stress women out more than men. The study said that women's, quote, "psychological health is adversely affected by commuting while men's, generally, is not." --The reason for that might be because women are usually the ones responsible for taking care of more of the chores at home . . . and time spent in the car was time they didn't have to cook, clean, or do laundry. --Women also usually combine their commute with other errands, like shopping for food or picking up kids from daycare, which makes a longer commute bother them even more. (WebMD)


One-Third of People Learned How to Drive From Their Fathers . . . But a Surprisingly High Number Taught Themselves:

A website called InsuranceQuotes.com asked drivers who taught them how to drive. And it turns out . . . at least when it comes to driving, a lot of people in this country are HOME-SCHOOLED.

--32% of men and 26% of women say they learned from their fathers, making that the most popular answer.

--20% of men and 28% of women learned from their mothers.

--25% of men and 23% of women learned to drive through driver's ed classes at their school.

--6% of men and 12% of women learned to drive from private driving instructors.

--And a SURPRISINGLY HIGH 13% of men and 5% of women TAUGHT THEMSELVES to drive. (--It didn't say how the remaining 4% of men and 6% of women learned to drive.) (InsuranceQuotes.com)


The Most Stolen Car Made in the Past Four Years is . . . the Cadillac Escalade:

The most commonly stolen cars are always like 1994 Honda Accords or Toyota Camrys . . . there are a ton of them on the road, they're easy to break into, and they're easy to hot-wire. And that's interesting and all. --But what about those of us who drive something that WASN'T manufactured 15 years ago? Now there's data on that too. --The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety just released data on insurance claims for 2008 to 2010 models. That includes car thefts and car break-ins. --And the most stolen vehicle is . . . the Cadillac Escalade. About 11 out of every 1,000 Escalade owners make an insurance claim on a theft or a break-in. And the average loss per claim is $10,555. --ALL of the 10 most stolen vehicles are big SUVs, cars, or pickups. After the Escalade is the Ford F-250 . . . the Chevy Silverado . . . the Ford F-450 . . . the GMC Sierra . . . the Chrysler 300 . . . the Ford F-350 . . . the Chevy Avalanche . . . the GMC Yukon . . . and the Chrysler 300 Hemi. --The Audi A6 and the Mercury Mariner SUV tied as the least-stolen cars . . . 0.5 claims per 1,000 vehicles. --The rest of the 10 least stolen are . . . The Chevy Equinox . . . the Volkswagen CC . . . the Chevy Equinox four-wheel drive . . . the Lexus RX 350 . . . the Saturn VUE . . . the Chevy Aveo . . . the BMW 5 Series . . . and the MINI Cooper Clubman. --Overall, for vehicles from the past three years, there's a theft claim on 1.7 out of every 1,000. The average claim is $6,767. (IIHS)


People in the South Are Most Likely to Get Divorced, and People in the Northeast are Least Likely:

The U.S. Census Bureau released a report on marital status, and found out that people in the South are the most likely to get divorced. --10 out of every 1,000 Southern men got divorced in 2009, and 11 out of every 1,000 women. By comparison, just over 7 out of 1,000 men and women in the Northeast got divorced. --The state where men were most likely to get divorced was Arkansas. Oklahoma, Alabama, and Kentucky were other Southern states in the top five. --On the other hand, the state where a man was least likely to get divorced was New Jersey. Washington, D.C., New York, and Connecticut were also in the top five. --Alaska had the highest divorce rate for women, but it was followed by Oklahoma, Alabama, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Mississippi. Women were least likely to divorce in New Jersey, followed by Massachusetts, New York, and Pennsylvania. --Some other interesting facts from the study: Three out of four children whose parents divorced in 2009 ended up living with their mother. --Kids whose parents divorced were 9% more likely to live in poverty and 17% more likely to live in a rented home. --The states where a husband was most likely to die and leave his wife a widow were Hawaii, Arkansas, and West Virginia. Wives were most likely to die in Wyoming, Delaware, and Alabama. (PR Newswire)


Someone Found a Way to Combine Beef Jerky and Potato Chips:

The word "genius" gets thrown around a lot these days . . . but in this case, it is ABSOLUTELY deserved. Because only a genius could find a way to combine two delicious snack foods as perfectly as this. --A company called Rowan Lane has invented CHERKEES . . . which are a hybrid of BEEF JERKY and POTATO CHIPS.--This isn't jerky-flavored potato chips, or thin crispy pieces of beef jerky. They've actually blended meat and potatoes and turned them into honest-to-god jerky potato chips. --Right now they've got two flavors: Cracked pepper and hot pepper. Teriyaki and barbecue are coming soon. --These things are actually healthier than regular potato chips . . . they're not deep fried, they're low fat, and they have 12 grams of protein per serving.--Unfortunately, as soon as these showed up online yesterday, people FLOODED the website to buy them at $5-a-bag, and Cherkees are temporarily sold out. --You can visit the website to be put on a mailing list that will let you know when more Cherkees are available. (Rowan Lane)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS

A Couple of Newlyweds in Pennsylvania are Arrested for Shoplifting $1,000 Worth of Groceries for Their Wedding Reception:

Last Thursday, 22-year-old Brittany Lurch and 32-year-old Arthur Phillips of Centre Hall, Pennsylvania got married. And they scheduled the reception for that Saturday afternoon. --And one of the first things that Brittany and Arthur did as husband and wife was . . . go to a Wegmans grocery store in State College, Pennsylvania and SHOPLIFT FOOD for their reception. --On Saturday, Brittany and Arthur were caught pushing two full shopping carts out of the store to their Hyundai, for their reception later that afternoon. They stole a total of $1,049.26 in merchandise. --That included a shrimp platter, two hams, a veggie tray, appetizer trays, eggs, a punch bowl, forks, spoons, soda, dinnerware for eight, toothbrushes, a polo shirt, and some Gillette Fusion razor blades. --They were both arrested and charged with misdemeanor theft and receiving stolen property. (Centre Daily Times / The Smoking Gun)


RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


According to a new study about why men don't talk about their feelings, it's NOT because they're worried about looking weak, or protecting their masculinity. It's because they consider conversation a useless way to solve problems. (Full Story)


Remember that giant Arizona wildfire that burned for six weeks straight this past spring? The one that JOHN MCCAIN suggested was caused by illegal immigrants? Federal authorities have determined that it was caused by . . . two white cousins in their 20s from southern Arizona, when they left their campfire unattended. (Full Story)


A sheriff's deputy in Arizona who grabbed a man's testicles to subdue him was using reasonable force, even though it was unorthodox . . . says an investigation by the sheriff. (Full Story)


According to scientists, modern humans improved their immune systems in important ways . . . by having sex with Neanderthals. (Full Story)


Gaddafi's a weird dude, no one doubts it. Any self-respecting crazed dictator has to be. So naturally, he had a special book of photos in his palace, dedicated to shots of . . . Condoleezza Rice? (Full Story)


The Associated Press looked at 325 of the 9/11 charities, to see what they've done with their money . . . and put some of them on a "shame list." One charity that raised $4 million can only account for $600,000, and uses the 'we're not crooks, just bad at managing money' defense. Another guy raised $700,000 for a memorial quilt . . . then paid himself a $175,000 salary. (Full Story)
NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) Check Out How Enormous Hurricane Irene Looks from the International Space Station:

The astronauts on the Space Station took a cool video of Hurricane Irene on Wednesday. It's up on YouTube. --There's no sound, and it's almost three minutes long. But at least watch the beginning of it, because the hurricane looks HUGE . . . which it is. It's about 500 miles across. --But it looks even bigger in the video, because you can see the curve of the Earth, and Irene STILL fills up the whole screen. (--Search for "HD Views of Hurricane Irene from the Space Station.")


#2.) A Little Kid Was So Tired, He Couldn't Stay Awake . . . but Refused to Stop Eating His Ice Cream Cone:

There's a video online of a kid trying to an eat ice cream cone WHILE he's falling asleep, and it's hilarious. Apparently it's been floating around for a while, but someone just found it, and now it's everywhere. --It's great because his eyes are shut, and he can't hold his head up. But he just keeps his tongue out and doesn't give up. (--Search for "Sleep Eating Ice Cream." It reminded us of this little girl who falls asleep with her face in a bowl of rice.)


#3.) And Now . . . a Dog Goes After a Cat and Regrets It:

If you had to put money on a fight between a cat and a dog, you'd almost always go with the dog, right? Well, there's a new video online of a cat and a dog in a stand-off. And it ends with the dog running away yelping . . . while the cat CHASES AFTER IT. --Granted, the dog is pretty small. But it's still a badass move by the cat. (--Search for "Cat vs. Dog Epic Standoff." Nothing much happens until 1:34.)


#4.) Some Idiot Ran in Front of a Train at the Last Minute . . . and Survived:

It's the very exciting "National Rail Safety Week" in South Australia, so the Department for Transport released footage from April showing a kid running in front of a train. --The closed circuit camera at the station shows him climbing onto the platform from the tracks RIGHT as the train almost takes off his legs. --And the camera on the train shows him running in front of the train right as it pulls into the station. It happened in a place called Mawson Lakes. The kid only suffered minor injuries, and was convicted of stopping and impeding the operation of a train. (--Search for "Boy Runs In Front Of Train At Mawson Lakes".)


The Five Most Important Things You Need to Survive a Hurricane:

Basically, the entire East Coast could get hit by Hurricane Irene. And you've probably heard this stuff before, but here's a recap on what you need to do to make sure you're ready. --It's supposed to be a category two when it hits, so it'll have winds between 96 and 110 miles an hour. That means some small trees might get knocked over, and you could lose power. --If it's a category three, that means winds between 111 and 130 miles an hour . . . damage to the exterior of buildings . . . big trees being uprooted . . . and power outages for days, or even weeks. --If it's a category FOUR, there could be STRUCTURAL damage to buildings . . . A LOT of trees being uprooted . . . and wind speeds between 131 and 155 miles an hour. --Experts don't think it'll reach category five status like Hurricane Katrina . . . which had winds up to 175 miles an hour. --Now, here are some of the most important things you should have on hand, according to the government's Ready.gov website:

#1.) Water. At least one gallon per person, per day. And you need enough for at least three days. So if you're a family of four, that's at least 12 gallons.

#2.) Food. Again, you need three days worth. And in case the power goes out, it should be stuff you don't have to keep in the fridge. --Also, make sure you have a can opener. And don't forget about your pets. They need extra food and water too.

#3.) A Pair of Pliers or a Wrench. It's in case you have to turn off a gas line or another utility.

#4.) A First-Aid Kit. Obviously, you need all the normal stuff, like band-aids and disinfectant. But if you take medication, or you need specific medical supplies for a condition, make sure you have enough.


#5.) A Flashlight. Your power will be the first thing to go, and you don't want to mess around with candles and open flames . . . then you could have a whole other mess on your hands. --So make sure you have at least one flashlight ready . . . WITH batteries.
(Reader's Digest)


Five Healthy Date Ideas:

You've only got a few weeks left to enjoy summer weather and skimpy clothing, so here's a list of five active, healthy dates you can do outside. Here we go . . .

#1.) Play a Sport. Play a game of tennis, volleyball, or mini-golf. It's active, it'll bring out your competitive side, and according to psychologists, when women win . . . they're more likely to hook up. It's science . . .


#2.) Walk for a Cause. If there's a cause that's important to you, like cancer or animal rights, see if there's a walk or run you can participate in together.


#3.) Visit a Vineyard. Go on a weekend trip to a vineyard, where you can take a walking tour and sample some red wine. Red wine has antioxidants which have been shown to protect your heart against disease.


#4.) Hit the Farmer's Market. Hit up your local farmer's market and buy some fresh vegetables. Then go make a healthy meal with what you bought.


#5.) Go Dancing. Dancing is a fun way to burn a TON of calories. If you're an awful dancer, take some lessons together. Then have a night out on the town. (Match.com)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (08-25-11)

Are Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds Engaged?

Ever since SANDRA BULLOCK and RYAN REYNOLDS both found themselves single earlier this year, the tabloids have been trying desperately to hook them up. --And now, the "Star" is going all the way . . . by claiming they're ENGAGED. They reportedly decided to get serious while hiking together in Wyoming earlier this month. --A source says, quote, "As the day went on, they started thinking about it, and soon the thought of spending their lives together didn't sound all that ridiculous. It sounded wonderful." --The source adds, quote, "Ryan is such a sweet-heart, everyone is giving them the stamp of approval. They have a great foundation for a long-term relationship." (--Sandra and Ryan have been friends since starring together in the 2009 romantic comedy "The Proposal".)


Check Out Jim Carrey's Bizarre Video Declaration of Love to Emma Stone:

JIM CARREY posted a bizarre video declaration of love for EMMA STONE on his website yesterday. --Obviously, we're assuming it's a joke. But he carries it off with such sincerity . . . and barely a hint of humor . . . that it's hard to be sure. --As far as we know, Jim and Emma aren't scheduled to work together, which would rule this out as an attempt at viral movie promotion. --In the video, Jim looks into the camera and says, quote, "I just wanted to let you know that I think you're all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but, you know, smart and kindhearted. --"And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you, and we would have chubby little freckled faced kids. We'd laugh all day long and go camping and play Yahtzee and tell ghost stories by the fire. And the sex?" --At that point he pauses quite deliberately, as if to say the sex would be AWESOME . . . before telling her, sadly, that he's too old for her. (--He's 49, she's 22.) He ends it by mouthing the words "I love you" before turning the camera off with a slightly quivering lip. (--Check out the video here. I say he's messing with us. What's your take?)


Will and Jada Hung Out Yesterday to Prove They're Still Together:

WILL SMITH and JADA PINKETT hung out together yesterday to prove that they're still a couple. They did brunch and shopping in Malibu, and witnesses seemed to agree that it didn't look like there were any problems. --At one point, a paparazzi scumbag asked Will to comment on the, quote, "ridiculous rumors". Will responded, quote, "You just did." (--Here's the video.)


Carrie Fisher Has Lost 50 Pounds . . . Did She Do Something to Her Face, Too?

Jenny Craig spokeswoman CARRIE FISHER unveiled her new figure on the "Today" show yesterday. She's lost 50 pounds, but there's something else about her that seems different besides her weight. --It looks like she might have had some work done on her face. (--Check out video of her "Today" appearance here.) --During the interview, host ANN CURRY brought up the Princess Leia metal bikini from "Return of the Jedi", and Carrie said, quote, "I want to get into the metal bikini and just walk around the house like an idiot. --"Answer the doorbell: 'What is it? This old thing?' . . . I'll come out with a line of metal bikinis for women over 40. If you want dignity, you wear metal bikinis over 40."


"People" Magazine Put Kim Kardashian On Its Cover . . . But Not Kris Humphries:

"People" magazine drops its big KIM KARDASHIAN wedding issue this week. They paid a reported $1.5 million for exclusive rights to the photos. --And the one they put on their cover features Kim and . . . NO KRIS HUMPHRIES. --A "People" editor explains, quote, "It's all about the bride. We wanted her. It's her day, we wanted her on the cover. She added that Kris is so much taller than Kim that it's, quote, "kind of tough to get them in the [same] shot." (--Check out the cover pic here.) (People) --Whatever their justification, this might not do Kris any favors in the New Jersey Nets locker room. --According to the "New York Post", his teammates are already calling him "Kate Middleton" because he, quote, "married into royalty." Being an afterthought to his own wedding isn't going to help. --This might help Kris' ego . . . Kim is reportedly in the process of changing her name to Kim Kardashian-Humphries. For legal purposes, anyway. Professionally, she'll still be known as Kim Kardashian.
Kim Kardashian's Wedding "Only" Cost About $6 Million:

Remember all that talk of KIM KARDASHIAN'S wedding costing between $20 million and $30 million? Turns out those numbers were seriously inflated. --An assistant editor of "People" magazine says the wedding cost about $6 million. Which is still HUGE, of course, but nowhere near what the media was speculating in the run-up to the ceremony. --Now, we should note that $6 million is the price NORMAL PEOPLE like you or I would pay for a wedding like Kim's. Kim and KRIS HUMPHRIES paid nowhere near that, because so much stuff was comped to them. --And of course, Kim and Kris are going to MAKE a ton of money off the wedding. From the "People" deal to the E! two-part TV special and beyond . . . some are estimating they'll bank somewhere in the $15 million to $20 million range. Just for getting married.


Kris Jenner Couldn't Get Christina Aguilera or Jennifer Lopez to Perform at Kim Kardashian's Wedding . . . Because They Cost Too Much:

KRIS JENNER reportedly wanted to get someone like CHRISTINA AGUILERA or JENNIFER LOPEZ to perform at KIM KARDASHIAN'S wedding. But they would have charged about a MILLION BUCKS . . . and Kim wasn't down with that. (--She ended up settling for Earth, Wind & Fire . . . and Robin Thicke.)


Did E! Producers Script a Tender Moment Between Kourtney and Scott?

By now, we all know that reality is one of the least common elements of reality TV. KIM KARDASHIAN'S wedding will be no exception. --When it airs as a two-part special on E! in October, there will be a tender moment between KOURTNEY and her boyfriend, SCOTT DISICK. --They'll have one of those cliched "couples at a wedding" moments where they get swept up in all the romance and decide to get hitched themselves. --And how do we know this? Because TMZ has audio of the producers talking to each other on walkie talkies, PLANNING IT right there on the spot. --One woman says, quote, "Hey, we need to do a thing of Kourtney and Scott, I feel like. Like 'love is in the air' and they talk about, 'ok fine, you know, we'll get married' or something." --Then several people are heard trying to orchestrate it. We don't actually hear audio of Kourtney and Scott's little moment . . . but there is audio from the very end of the night, where a woman is thanking everyone for their work that day. --And she says, quote, "We'll see you at Kourtney's wedding." (--Check it out here.)


The Best-Paid Actresses Make Crappy Movies:

It stands to reason that the highest-paid actresses should make the best movies, right? Not so. --It turns out that the highest-paid actresses in Hollywood . . . as rated by Forbes.com . . . actually don't have the best track records. --A showbiz columnist from the Fox News website took the five highest-paid actresses from the Forbes list and compared the critical reception of all their movies over the past 10 years. --He used the website RottenTomatoes.com, which tabulates ALL the reviews of a particular film that it can possibly find, then gives it a score based on the percentage of good reviews vs. bad.

--Here's how that shook down . . .

--ANGELINA JOLIE was named this year's highest-paid actress . . . with $30 million. But since 2001, reviews for her films have only been, on average, 47% positive.

--SARAH JESSICA PARKER . . . who also made about $30 million over the past year . . . did even worse. Her score was 36%.

--Hollywood's third-highest-paid actress over the past year was JENNIFER ANISTON, with $28 million. Her average fell in between Angelina's and Sarah's, at 42%.

--Then comes REESE WITHERSPOON, who also made around $28 million. Reviews for her movies over the past 10 years have been 53% positive.

--In fifth place on the highest-paid list is JULIA ROBERTS, with $20 million. But it turns out she's the MOST-LIKED. Her average is 55%.

(--So Reese and Julia have been the most-praised. Not surprisingly, both of them also have an Oscar. Julia won for "Erin Brockovich" and Reese got hers for "Walk the Line".) (--For more information . . . including a more detailed rundown of the movies that helped AND HURT these ladies' averages, click here.)
NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND

This Week's New Movies Include: Zoe Saldana Kicking Ass . . . Paul Rudd Smoking Pot . . . and Katie Holmes Fighting Monsters:

#1.) "Colombiana" (PG-13)

Zoe Saldana plays an assassin who's looking for revenge on the mobster who ordered a hit on her parents when she was a little girl. And "Alias" stud Michael Vartan is the lucky guy who gets to sample her other talents. (Trailer) (Animated Teaser)


#2.) "Our Idiot Brother" (R)

Paul Rudd plays the pot-smoking brother of Elizabeth Banks, Emily Mortimer, and Zooey Deschanel. When his girlfriend kicks him out, they take turns letting him live with them. It also stars Rashida Jones as Zooey's lesbian life-partner. (--CAREFUL: There's a B-word at the 1:47 mark in the trailer.)


#3.) "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" (R)

Guillermo Del Toro directs this remake of a 1973 horror movie about a woman who inherits an old mansion, and accidentally releases creatures that are whispering her name from the basement. In this one they're terrorizing a little girl. Her dad is played by "Memento's" Guy Pearce. And Katie Holmes plays his girlfriend. (Trailer) (Original)


Was "Toy Story" Almost Called "Bring Me the Arm of Buzz Lightyear"?

Did you know that "Toy Story" wasn't originally going to be called "Toy Story"? That was just the working title for the film. And before it was finished, Pixar put out a call to their employees, asking for suggestions for a final title. --That's according to Lee Unkrich, who edited the first film, then went on to co-direct the second and direct the third. --To show us why Pixar stuck with "Toy Story", Unkrich Tweeted several of those suggestions. Some of them are pretty crazy. Here they are . . .

--"The New Toy"

--"Made in Taiwan"

--"Moving Buddies"

--"To Infinity and Beyond"

--"Windup Heroes"

--"The Cowboy & the Spaceman"

--"Spurs & Rockets"

--"Bring Me the Arm of Buzz Lightyear"

--"Wind the Frog" . . . (--Actually, whoever came up with this one is BRILLIANT. "Wind the Frog" is my favorite line from the movie, and would make an AWESOME name for an indie band. You're welcome, hipsters.) (???)

--"Rex's First Movie"

--"For the Love of Bo Peep"

--"Toyz in the Hood"

--"Each Sold Separately"

--"Wings & Pullstrings"

--"Some Assembly Required"

--"The Favorite"


"Survivor" Is Bringing Back Ozzy Lusth and Coach Ben Wade:

Last season, "Survivor" brought back veterans RUSSELL HANTZ and "BOSTON ROB" MARIANO. This time, they're bringing back OZZY LUSTH and "COACH" BEN WADE. This is the third season for both of them. --Ozzy was on Season 13, "Survivor: Cook Islands", and Season 16, "Survivor: Micronesia: Fans Vs. Favorites". Coach was on Season 18, "Survivor: Tocantins", and Season 20, "Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains". (--Here's a preview video on the returning castaways. "Survivor: South Pacific" premieres on September 14th.)


"Bachelorette" Reject Ben Flajnik Is Your New "Bachelor" . . . Probably:

"Entertainment Weekly" says the next "Bachelor" is BEN FLAJNIK, who was rejected by ASHLEY HEBERT on "The Bachelorette" this summer. Ben made it to the finale, but Ashley went with J.P. ROSENBAUM instead. --ABC wouldn't confirm this. The official announcement will be made during the "Bachelor Pad" finale on September 12th. --Earlier this month, there was talk that Ben was hooking up with JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT, but J-Love denied it. She said they did meet up "by coincidence", but there was nothing between them.


Simon Cowell Expects "X Factor" to Attract at Least 20 Million Viewers:

What will it take for SIMON COWELL to consider "The X Factor" a success? Well, for starters, he's expecting it to average at least 20 million viewers. --He tells the "Hollywood Reporter" that any less than that would be, quote, "a disappointment." He adds, quote, "[I want] buzz. In England, you genuinely get the feeling the whole country is talking about the show. I hope for that." (--For what it's worth, "American Idol" averaged 25.9 million viewers for the performance episodes and 23.8 million viewers for the results shows.) (--The performance episode numbers were up over 2 million viewers from the year before . . . Simon's last season on "Idol" . . . and the results shows were UP just under 2 million viewers. That's significant.) (--Simon's incredible ego has been well documented. So forget 20 million, Simon won't be happy unless he beats "Idol". Actually, Scratch that. He won't be happy unless he SMOKES "Idol".)


"VMAs" Updates: There Will Be No Host, and Beyoncé Is Performing:

MTV has announced that NO ONE will this year's "MTV Video Music Awards". CHELSEA HANDLER hosted the show last year. --Also, BEYONCÉ has joined the list of performers, which already includes Adele, Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, Lady Gaga, Young the Giant, Bruno Mars, Pitbull and Ne-Yo. The show airs live this Sunday night.
Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"Pre-Season Football" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The Baltimore Ravens host the Washington Redskins at M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore, Maryland.)


--"Big Brother 13" [Eviction Night] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.


--"Rising: Rebuilding Ground Zero" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Discovery Channel. (--A documentary series that chronicles the construction of the new 16-acre complex at the site of the 9/11 terrorist attack in New York.)


--"Expedition Impossible" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.


--"The Green Room with Paul Provenza" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Showtime. (--Bill Burr, Russell Peters, Colin Quinn, Caroline Rhea and Lizz Winstead guest.)


Alice Cooper Put Kesha and Vince Gill On His New Album Because No One Expected It:

On September 13th, ALICE COOPER will put out his new album "Welcome 2 My Nightmare". (--It's a sequel to his classic 1975 album "Welcome to My Nightmare", which is why he used the number "2" instead of the word "to".) --It features some interesting guests: KESHA and country star VINCE GILL. --Alice explains, quote, "I met [Kesha] at the Grammys, and I immediately looked at her and went, 'This girl is not a pop diva. She's a rock singer.' She would much rather be the female Robert Plant than the next Britney Spears." (--He didn't clarify whether he meant the '70s version of Robert Plant or the current one . . . but let's assume he meant the old one. It's better that way . . . and so was Robert.) --Alice says he knows no one expected him to collaborate with Kesha and Vince, and that's part of the reason he wanted to do it. --He says, quote, "There's a little bit of defiance in me. Even when my fans think they know what I'm gonna do, I'm like, 'Whaddya mean I can't put Vince Gill on the album?' Nobody's going to expect Kesha on my album, so, great, let's do it. --"I like the idea you still can't put me in a corner and say, 'This is what you're gonna sound like.'" (--Vince has a guitar solo on a track called "A Runaway Train", and Kesha sings on "What Baby Wants". You can listen to a clip of it, here.)


THURSDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS

Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


Here's a fun photo gallery of celebrities when they were kids. (Gallery)



JASON BATEMAN and his wife Amanda are expecting their second child. It'll be a girl, according to Amanda's dad, SUPERSTAR SINGING SENSATION PAUL ANKA. Jason and Amanda already have a 4-year-old daughter named Francesca. (Full Story)



SARA GILBERT from "The Talk" has broken up with her partner of 10 years, Allison Adler. Sara and Allison have a 6-year-old son and a 4-year-old daughter. Allison carried the boy, and Sara gave birth to the girl. (Full Story)



CHRISTOPHER KNIGHT has officially filed for divorce from ADRIANNE CURRY. Their rep says, quote, "The couple is still friends and the process thus far is very amiable." (Full Story)



TONY HAWK messed up one of his front teeth in a skateboarding accident . . . and decided to just have it pulled. (pic before dentist) (pic after dentist)



LINDSAY LOHAN is comparing herself to MARILYN MONROE again. (Full Story)


And the name of KIMBERLY STEWART and BENICIO DEL TORO'S baby girl is . . . DELILAH. (Full Story)



The first clear pictures of HENRY CAVILL as Superman in the upcoming "Man of Steel" hit the web yesterday . . . and the costume does NOT have red underpants. Is that superhero HERESY? (Full Story)



Check out a preview of ROSIE O'DONNELL'S upcoming show on OWN. (Video)



According to the 911 call, the hotel employees who discovered JANI LANE'S body were afraid to go near him . . . even to check to see if he was still alive. At one point, the dispatcher says, quote, "It would be nice to know if we can help him." (Audio)



NOEL GALLAGHER has apologized to his brother LIAM for saying OASIS had to cancel a gig in 2009 because he was hungover. Noel says that Liam had laryngitis. (Full Story) (--Liam sued Noel for libel because of Noel's initial comment.)


RANDOM STUFF

NOT-SO-STUPID NEWS

Steve Jobs Has Resigned as CEO of Apple:

Yesterday, STEVE JOBS resigned as the CEO of Apple . . . ending his tenure as pretty much one of the greatest businessmen in history. In the past 14 years, he took Apple from near-dead to one of the top two most valuable companies in the world. --He's 56 years old, and has been battling serious medical issues for years, which almost certainly caused his resignation. He survived pancreatic cancer and has been on medical leave from Apple since January for an undisclosed condition. --The company basically knew the day was coming when Jobs would have to step down. He's been replaced at the top by TIM COOK, Apple's chief operating officer. --But Jobs resigning shouldn't derail Apple's upcoming projects: They'll probably announce a new iPhone in next month, and a new iPad should be out early next year. --In a letter, Jobs wrote, quote, "I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple's CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately that day has come." --Jobs co-founded Apple with STEVE WOZNIAK back in the late 1970s . . . starting in his parents' garage. In 1985 he left . . . then in 1997, with Apple on its death bed, he came back to try to save it. --Since then, he's transformed the company into the most valuable consumer brand in the world, and has traded back and forth this year with ExxonMobil as the most valuable company in the world. --Even though Jobs is out of the day-to-day operations, he'll still be the chairman of Apple's board of directors. (Reuters)
Hillary Clinton Comes in Second on the "Forbes" Most Powerful Women List . . . Lady Gaga is 11th:

"Forbes" just released their list of the 100 most powerful women in the world. And our country's Secretary of State managed to come in nine notches ahead of a psychotic 25-year-old who wears raw meat and popped out of an egg on MTV. --Secretary of State HILLARY CLINTON came in second on the list, only behind ANGELA MERKEL, the chancellor of Germany. LADY GAGA finished 11th, the highest of any entertainer on the list. --The women on the list are ranked by wealth, political and business power, and reach and influence . . . both in mainstream media and on social media like Twitter. --After Merkel and Clinton, third place was Brazil's president, Dilma Rousseff . . . fourth is Indra Nooyi, the CEO of PepsiCo . . . and fifth is Sheryl Sandberg, the chief operating officer of Facebook. --Some other notable names on the list: Michelle Obama is eighth . . . Oprah Winfrey is 14th, three spots behind Gaga . . . Beyoncé is 18th . . . Michele Bachmann is 22nd . . . Angelina Jolie is 29th . . . --Arianna Huffington is 31st . . . Sarah Palin is 34th . . . Queen Elizabeth the Second is 49th . . . Ellen DeGeneres is 55th . . . Gisele Bundchen is 60th . . . and J.K. Rowling is 61st. (Forbes) (--You can see the full top 100 here.)


A New Study Says That if Obama Loses in 2012, He'll Probably Be Ranked as the 22nd Best President Ever:

I always find presidential ranking lists interesting. It's like a combination of sports and politics. Plus it gives everyone a chance to rip on ANDREW JOHNSON and CHESTER A. ARTHUR. --A political science expert named Curt Nichols at Baylor University in Texas just finished up a study to determine where PRESIDENT OBAMA will rank against the other presidents in U.S. history. And here's what he found . . . --If Obama loses in 2012 and is a one-term president, he'll probably be ranked 22nd. That's an extremely "average" ranking, and would put him in the same vicinity as William Howard Taft, Martin Van Buren, and the first George Bush. --But if Obama wins in 2012 and has two terms, Nichols says he believes he'll be considered a "near great" and could end up as high as FOURTH . . . after only Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt, and George Washington. --Nichols says that rankings are usually based on factors like how many years a president serves, how they handle war, how they transform the country, and how they either push the country into crisis or bring the country out of one. (Eurekalert) (--You can see presidential rankings from several different polls here.)


The Restaurant Where Facebook Users Check-In the Most Is . . . Starbucks:

Last August, Facebook introduced their Places feature, which allows users to check-in at their favorite locations. --A year later, they released some of the data about where their users check-in the most. So far, they've only released the information for restaurants. --Based on number of check-ins, the favorite restaurant for Facebook users is . . . Starbucks. --It helps that Starbucks has about 17,000 locations, and wireless Internet. --Second on the list is Buffalo Wild Wings, a sports bar chain that only has about 700 locations. They finished three spots above McDonald's, which has 32,000 locations, most of which offer wireless. --Chili's and Applebee's also finished ahead of McDonald's. --In sixth and seventh place are IHOP and Denny's. --Olive Garden, T.G.I. Friday's, and The Cheesecake Factory round out the top ten. (Mashable)


Facebook Will Finally Let You Keep People From Tagging You in Photos:

There's nothing worse than finding out someone tagged you in a Facebook photo where you're doing something embarrassing, or you look GOD AWFUL. Or both. And you weren't able to untag yourself in time. --Well, finally . . . after FOUR DAMN YEARS of torturing people . . . Facebook has changed their rules. --Soon you'll be able to change the settings in your profile so that people can't tag you without your approval . . . after they tag you, you get a chance to review the tags and approve or deny them before they go live. --They haven't said exactly when this is going to roll out, just that it's coming very soon. (Facebook)


After a Disaster, One in Four Americans Say They'd Update Facebook to Let People Know They're Safe:

This is a pretty amazing look at just how much communication has changed in the past five years or so. According to a new survey by the Red Cross, after a disaster, ONE-FOURTH of this country would tell people they're okay by . . . Facebook.

--24% of people say they'd go on Facebook because it's the quickest, easiest, and most reliable way to let all their loved ones know they're safe. (PR Newswire) (--You can reach the Red Cross for more information at 202-303-5551.)
Stupid "Star Wars" Gimmick of the Day Part One: Ask Vader:

The three original "Star Wars" movies are coming out in a Blu-ray box set next month . . . along with the three beloved and cherished prequels. And in honor of the release, the official "Star Wars" website has put up a random new feature. --It's called "Ask Vader." You type in a question and Vader gives you a random response . . . sort of like Magic 8-Ball Vader. Some are lines from the movies, and some aren't. But it doesn't sound like it's James Earl Jones. --Anyway, if you've ever dreamed of being verbally dominated by Darth Vader, this is your chance. --Check it out at vader.starwars.com.


Stupid "Star Wars" Gimmick of the Day Part Two: Han Solo Ice Cube Trays:

Want to make ice cubes for your next party which will make sure you and your fellow nerds never get any action? Then this is exactly what you're looking for. --For $10, you can get an ice cube tray to make ice cubes that look like Han Solo when he's frozen in carbonite, from "The Empire Strikes Back". Great for "Star Wars" fans AND preventing premarital sex. (--Check out some photos of the tray and the ice. You can buy it here.)


After a Workout, One of the Best Recovery Drinks is . . . Beer?

We've got good news and bad news here. The good news: A new study has proven that after a workout, one of the best things you can drink to recover is BEER. The bad news? It's non-alcoholic beer. (--Cue the sad trombones.) --Researchers at the Technical University of Munich in Germany wanted to see if beer could be equal to, or even better than water and Gatorade. So they had some marathon runners recover after a race with those, and some recover with beer. --And they found that the runners who drank non-alcoholic beer recovered faster after the race. They also had fewer health issues, like upper respiratory infections and inflammation, compared to the other runners. --It only worked with non-alcoholic beer, though . . . alcoholic beer did NOT have the same effects. --Dr. Johannes Scherr led the study and his explanation for the power of non-alcoholic beer is . . . well, he has no clue. --He says it probably has to do with the chemical compounds found in non-alcoholic beer, but he's not positive. Alcoholic beer has the same compounds . . . but the negative impact of the alcohol offsets them. (New York Times)


The Post Office Has Found a Way to Cut $1.5 Billion From Their Budget . . . By Delivering Mail More Slowly:

Something tells me the Post Office doesn't understand why they've been losing money. --The U.S. Postal Service has lost billions of dollars over the last several years, as more and more people switch to email and paying bills online. --A recent Postal study thinks they've found the problem: They've been delivering the mail . . . TOO FAST. The Post Office can cut one-and-a-half BILLION dollars from their budget if they just make their delivery times a little LONGER. --Currently, they tell customers that first-class and Priority Mail should arrive in two or three days, although they don't guarantee it. --Keeping that schedule requires postal workers to put in overnight and weekend shifts. But if they took an extra day they could cut $336 million in overtime costs. --They could cut another $1.1 billion by sending more Priority packages by ground instead of air. --Obviously, customers who already prefer email are going to be even less likely to buy stamps if it takes longer, and the Post Office knows it: They expect the amount of First Class mail to drop from 78 billion letters a year to 50 billion. --But businesses who use the Post Office like the idea. The study said that they, quote, "value consistency over speed and would tolerate slightly slower service to save costs." --Post Office officials haven't decided to do it yet . . . but supposedly they're seriously considering the idea, and might announce a new schedule after Labor Day. (Washington Post)


MEATBALL CRIMINALS

Two Subway Employees Let a Robber Take $125 From the Register . . . but Protested When He Went for the Tip Jar:

On Monday, 47-year-old Robert Allen Walker used a knife to hold up a Subway in St. Petersburg, Florida. --He told the two employees that he had lung cancer and was trying to raise a child. Although police haven't verified any of that. --The employees let him clean out the register, which got Robert about $125 in cash. --But then Robert went for the tip jar . . . and when it came to THEIR money, suddenly the employees grew a spine. --They protested enough to convince Robert to put their tip money back . . . and just take the cash from the register. --A police spokesman said that they complained so much, Robert ended up apologizing to them. --The police caught Robert a few hours later, and he's in jail with $50,000 bail. (St. Petersburg Times)

RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


The city of Camden, New Jersey is paying kids $100 each not to skip school. (Full Story)


According to a writer for the "Marine Corps Times", Marines aren't allowed to pass gas loudly in Afghanistan anymore, because noisy farts offend Afghans. (Full Story)


This is awesome: A non-profit educational foundation . . . one that's basically just a front organization for a magician . . . is offering a $1 million prize for any celebrity psychic who can PROVE their powers on randomly selected strangers in a controlled environment. (Full Story)


Teenagers who use Facebook are more likely to smoke and drink. (Full Story)


Some people are complaining that the new Martin Luther King memorial in D.C. was made by a Chinese sculptor, from Chinese granite. And that MLK even looks a little Asian in the sculpture. And another blog pointed out that the monument kind of looks like Han Solo, frozen in carbonite.


NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) LeBron James Agreed to Jump Off a High Dive at a Pool in Barcelona . . . Then Froze When He Saw How High Up He Was:

LEBRON JAMES was at a pool in Barcelona the other day for some kind of Nike event. And he agreed to jump off the ten-meter high dive, which is about 33 feet. --But when LeBron got up there, he FROZE. He did eventually make the jump, but it took him about three minutes. And he made some other guy go first so he could see how to do it. --And to add to the pressure, the announcer got the crowd to start chanting the word "jump." And at one point yelled, quote, "C'mon, LeBron! Everybody wants to see [it]!" (--Search for "LeBron James High Dive Barcelona Video." The first guy goes at 2:23, and LeBron jumps at 2:47.)


#2.) 90-Year-Old Nancy Reagan Fell at an Event in California . . . but Freshman GOP Senator Marco Rubio and a Service Agent Saved Her:

NANCY REAGAN fell on Tuesday at an event in California. Freshman GOP Senator Marco Rubio and the 90-year-old former First Lady were walking through a roomful of people at the Reagan Library, and she lost her balance. --Luckily, Rubio caught her by the arm, and a Secret Service agent stopped her from falling, so she's okay. (--Search YouTube for "Nancy Reagan Marco Rubio Fall.")


#3.) Check Out What an Exploding Car Looks Like in Real Life:

If you think cars only explode in the movies, check this out: Last Friday, someone in Los Angeles got cell phone footage of firefighters dealing with a burning car that was parked on the street. --And while one of them was standing right next to it dousing it with water, something under the hood EXPLODED. --It was actually pretty intense . . . but the explosion was small enough that the badass firefighter just stepped away for a second, then turned his hose on again and kept working. (--Search for "Car Explosion in Los Angeles August 19th." It explodes at :15.)
Four Signs You're in at Least Decent Health:

The other day we gave you a list from Dr. Oz of "Three Weird Ways Your Body Can Tell You Something's Wrong." Now, here's something to put your mind at ease: It's a list of four signs you're in relatively GOOD health.


#1.) (--CAREFUL) When You Empty Your Bladder, It's Fairly Clear. It should be a pale yellow color, and you should be using the bathroom a few times a day. It's a sign that you're properly hydrated, and your kidneys are healthy. --If it's cloudy, dark, or BRIGHT yellow, it's a sign you're dehydrated. And if it's clear, it means you're TOO hydrated, which isn't a big deal. But when you are, your body doesn't absorb enough salts and electrolytes.


#2.) Your Cuts Heal Fairly Quickly. It means your blood is clotting normally, your white blood cells are carrying away bacteria like they should, and your blood vessels are healthy. --If you bruise easily or it takes weeks for a cut to heal, it could be a sign of liver disease, a bone marrow disorder, or hemophilia . . . which is when your blood doesn't clot right. --But don't freak out. Bruising easily can also be caused by medication, or just the fact that you're getting older. --Because as you age, the smallest type of blood vessels in your body . . . your capillaries . . . become more prone to rupture. And your skin also gets thinner, which doesn't help.

#3.) Healthy Hair and Nails. When you have a vitamin deficiency, your hair and fingernails are usually where it shows up first.

--For example, if your nails curve UP, it means you might not be getting enough iron or zinc. And if they curve DOWN, you might not be getting enough B-12. --If it's a SERIOUS vitamin deficiency, it can also make your hair start falling out in clumps. But if your hair is just frizzy, or you have split ends, don't worry.

#4.) You Sleep Through the Night. A lot of people don't get the recommended seven hours every night. But as long as you sleep SOUNDLY and don't wake up sweating or needing to use the bathroom twice a night, you're probably fine. --If you regularly sleep through the night, it means you're most likely hitting all the stages of sleep you need to in order to stay healthy. And OCCASIONAL insomnia is considered normal. --The one thing you DO still have to worry about is snoring, because it could be a sign of sleep apnea, which prevents your blood from getting enough oxygen. --If you get enough sleep, you SHOULD wake up feeling somewhat refreshed. But people with sleep apnea wake up feeling exhausted every morning. (DivineCaroline.com)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (08-24-11)

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Are Not Splitting Up:

By now you've heard the rumor that WILL SMITH and JADA PINKETT are splitting up. Well, they say there's no truth to it at all. --Here's their statement . . . quote, "Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together, and our marriage is intact." --Some websites were reporting that Jada hooked up with MARC ANTHONY . . . who's on her show "HawthoRNe". But Jada's rep said, quote, "Everything about the Marc Anthony story is completely false." --Will's eldest son Trey also Tweeted that the rumor was bogus. --Trey is Will's son from his first marriage. He's 18. Will and Jada have two kids together . . . 13-year-old Jaden and 10-year-old Willow. --Assuming they're telling the truth, Will and Jada will celebrate their 14th anniversary on December 31st.


Amy Winehouse Did NOT Have Illegal Drugs in Her System When She Died:

This is a little shocking: AMY WINEHOUSE had NO ILLEGAL DRUGS in her system when she died last month. --A spokesman for her family said yesterday, quote, "Toxicology results returned to the Winehouse family by authorities have confirmed that there were no illegal substances in Amy's system at the time of her death." --The spokesman admitted that there WAS alcohol in her system . . . but said it's too early to tell if it played a part in her death. He added, quote, "[The family awaits] the outcome of the inquest [into Amy's death] in October." --After Amy's death on July 23rd, her father MITCH said she'd been off drugs for THREE YEARS, and was working hard to overcome her alcohol addiction. --One thing the family spokesman did NOT say, however, is whether there were any LEGAL drugs in Amy's system.


Gavin DeGraw Explains What Happened the Night He Got Beat Up . . . And Says He's "Not Living in Fear":

Despite being attacked and seriously injured by several men in Manhattan a few weeks ago, GAVIN DEGRAW is trying to get back to business as usual. --He says, quote, "I'm not living in fear. It was a terrible night for me, but fortunately I got through it. I still look like my mother, and onward and upward." --Gavin gave "People" magazine an account of what happened that night . . . or at least what he can remember of it. --He says, quote, "I had a night off, and I met up with some friends at the bar I own with my brother. We had a few drinks. I put my friends in a cab and I walked home because I live pretty close. --"I remember maybe three guys said something to me and I didn't appreciate it, and I guess I let them know I didn't appreciate it. They weren't exactly on the debate team, so I ended up with a tube down my throat. --"I just literally remember an exchange of words that lasted a second and then being very bloody." --As for his condition when he left the bar, he says, quote, "I can't say I was drunk. I know I had a few drinks with friends." --Gavin is scheduled to resume touring with MAROON 5 and TRAIN tonight . . . which could be a challenge due to the injuries he suffered, like his broken nose. --He says, quote, "My breathing isn't exactly the same. I'm feeling out my breathing through my nose trying to see if the swelling's going down. The sensation is mildly different, so that makes me fearful about singing." --Gavin is also still feeling the effects of his concussion . . . quote, "My brain definitely got sloshed around in my skull during that walk home [afterwards]. I still get dizzy . . . particularly if I stand up from sitting down." --But at least he LOOKS presentable. He says, quote, "When I first saw my face, it looked like evil me. I had some fractures in my cheekbone and eye and nose. Everything was completely swollen." --"[Now] I have a little mark on my nose from stitches. If you saw me right now, you'd think I'd cut myself shaving on my nose. It literally looks like there's almost nothing visibly wrong anymore." --Police are still investigating the beating, and don't have any suspects. But Gavin isn't too worried about it. He says, quote, "There are many and much worse crimes happening than me getting beat up. --"I don't think that it's necessarily even fair that I got the attention I did."


Someone Sent a Suspicious White Powder to Craig Ferguson:

Somebody sent a suspicious white powder to "Late Late Show" host CRAIG FERGUSON at CBS Television City yesterday. It turned out to be harmless, but police are investigating. They think it was sent from somewhere in Europe. --Ferguson Tweeted, quote, "Ack! Someone mailed my show white powder & claimed it was anthrax. I'm not a big fan of that sort of thing. #thanks FBI & LAPD & LAFD & CBS security." --This happened just days after a supposed Muslim Extremist called for DAVID LETTERMAN'S death on a website frequented by members of al-Qaeda. (--"Letterman" is Ferguson's lead-in show.)


Check Out a Photo Gallery of Celebrity Defects:

Megan Fox has stubby thumbs . . . Ashton Kutcher has webbed toes . . . Kate Bosworth has two different-colored eyes . . . and Mark Wahlberg and Tilda Swinton each have three nipples. --Learn about these and more CELEBRITY DEFECTS in this amusing photo gallery.

Jane Lynch Was Once Addicted to Cough Syrup:

JANE LYNCH . . . "Glee's" TRUE sex symbol if you ask me . . . admits that she got hooked on COUGH SYRUP after she quit drinking in 1991. (--She was 31 at the time.) --In her upcoming autobiography "Happy Accidents", she says, quote, "I found myself eating about a gallon of chocolate ice cream daily to replace the copious amounts of sugar my body was used to from my daily beer intake. --"I did, however, continue my habit of taking NyQuil before bed. Though no longer drinking Miller Lite, I was in need of something to soothe me. --"The fact that NyQuil had alcohol in it was not something I acknowledged at all. I still considered myself on the wagon. I'd close the drapes, take a swig of NyQuil, toast with a simple 'bye bye' and go into a deep sleep." --Jane eventually got the NyQuil Monkey off her back with help from Alcoholics Anonymous.


Celebrities React to Yesterday's Earthquake:

Yesterday's 5.9 earthquake was felt up and down the East Coast . . . where several celebrities were able to experience AND TWEET about it. (--Lucky us!) Here's what they had to say . . .

--Elizabeth Banks: "um, earthquake in north carolina? it's nice to feel at home but please, don't go overboard."

--Carson Daly: "Things are rollin in NYC now huh? Welcome to cali."

--"Daily Show" correspondent John Hodgman: "This guy in the cafe and I agree that we liked the earthquake when it first started. But now it's like, the wrong people are into it."

--Patton Oswalt: "Not to panic anyone in NYC, but a screaming John Cusack just drove by in a limo that was missing a door."

--Marlee Matlin: "They felt the #Earthquake as far as Des Plaines, IL?! That's practically my home town!"

--Adam Levine from Maroon 5: "Happy to have been here for the most freakish earthquake Washington DC has ever seen," he later added. "Looks like we brought our California earthquake mojo to DC. Oops."

--Snooki, being a best-selling author and all, was prolific enough to produce TWO Tweets . . . "Omg earthquakeeeee" and "Waahhhhhhh".

--Ice-T: "As long as everyone's ok…… Keep it moovin. The EARTH is gonna do whatever the [eff] it wants to do."



Elijah Wood Says He Doesn't Smoke Pot . . . But He Thinks It Should Be Legalized:

ELIJAH WOOD says he does NOT smoke pot . . . but he totally supports the cause of legalization. He even talked to "High Times" magazine about it. --He said, quote, "It's gotten to the point where it just seems a natural part of people's lives. It's certainly not taboo; I know a number of people who have medical cards. People feel very free talking about it. --"It doesn't seem to be hidden or shoved under the carpet. It's part of people's lives in a very natural way." --"I think the whole notion that marijuana is illegal is past the point of ridiculousness." --As for why he (supposedly) doesn't partake, Elijah says, quote, "It never really sat well with me . . . I've always wished I could achieve that comfort and tolerance, but I have no tolerance for it whatsoever."


Anderson Cooper Says He's "Always Giggled Like a 13-Year-Old Girl":

Last week, ANDERSON COOPER broke out in a "giggle fit" on his CNN show while talking about GERARD DEPARDIEU peeing on the floor of an airplane. (--Here's that video again. Anderson begins to unravel at the 2:25 mark.) --If you've been wondering what the heck is up with that laugh, Anderson has an explanation for you. --He tells "Entertainment Weekly", quote, "I've always giggled like a 13-year-old girl at a Justin Bieber meet-and-greet. There's nothing I can do about it, but I've never not been able to stop. --"I'm a little stunned by how many people have seen that video. I went to bed telling myself, 'I doubt anyone will notice the giggle fit.' I woke up and in the elevator the first thing my building super said to me was, 'What's wrong with your laugh?' --"It could be worse: I could have a viral video in which I throw up on a guest or drunkenly eat a hamburger on a bathroom floor. Not that I've ever done either of those things. Not yet at least." (--There are several versions of the clip on YouTube, which total over a million views. But the real loser in this is Gerard Depardieu, who must be THRILLED that Anderson's "giggle fit" brought even more attention to his peeing incident.)
Simon Cowell Gets Hooked Up to an IV to Get His Weekly Vitamins:

How do you take your vitamins? If you're a normal person, you may pop a Centrum or a few supplements . . . but if you're SIMON COWELL, you have yourself hooked up to an IV once a week for a direct injection. (???) --This isn't a silly tabloid rumor. Simon explains the ridiculous process in a new interview with "GQ". He says he mainlines B12, magnesium, vitamin C and, quote, "something for your liver." --But he's a COWARD when it comes to needles . . . so he has his arm FROZEN with some kind of spray beforehand, and has an assistant help him with the IV. He's connected to it for about a half-hour. --If his treatment time happens to fall during a business meeting, he does it anyway . . . quote, "Even when I'm having a viewing session with producers . . . she just sticks a needle in me and we carry on doing whatever we're doing." --But he says it's worth it . . . quote, "When you have it done, it's an incredibly warm feeling. You feel all the vitamins going through you. It's indescribable but very calming, and then it gives you energy for a good few days afterwards. --"Everyone I've recommended it to, they've absolutely loved it. It sounds odd, but when you have it, it is fantastic. One girl came down and actually had two orgasms during the treatment." (--Uh, well I think that takes a special kind of girl.)


Uncle Frank from "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" Has Died:

UNCLE FRANK from "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" died yesterday morning. He was 77. Frank was Jimmy's real-life uncle, and Jimmy invited him to be a part of the show when it started back in 2003. He was Jimmy's "security guard" sidekick. --Frank was a veteran of the Korean War . . . and also served 20 years as a police officer in New York, and as a security guard at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. --Jimmy Tweeted, quote, "Thank you for your kind words about a very kind man, my Uncle Frank, who passed away this morning." (--Here's a video of Uncle Frank in a bit where he's the show's "chief meteorologist. And here's the "Hollywood Reporter's" list of Uncle Frank's "Five Funniest Moments".)


Lady Gaga Is Doing "The Simpsons" . . . and She Says It's "One of the Coolest Things She's Ever Done":

LADY GAGA is voicing a character on an upcoming episode of "The Simpsons". She's playing herself . . . and at some point, she kisses MARGE. Lady Gaga says, quote, "I play a little bit of a slut. The apple doesn't fall far from my artistic tree." --But Lady Gaga loved doing it. She explains, quote, "Their characters are so awesomely convincing and sincere and wild and funny, I had to remind myself constantly of the sincerity of the humor. --"I would say this is one of the coolest things I've ever done." (--Here's a picture of Lady Gaga recording her part.)


Wednesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"Buried Treasure" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--"Antiques Roadshow" identical-twin brothers Leigh and Leslie Keno appraise the worth of people's knickknacks as they stop by their homes on a cross-country road trip.)

--"Big Brother 13" [Power of Veto competition] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

--"America's Got Talent" [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.

--"Ghost Hunters" [7th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Syfy.

--"Man v. Food Nation" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Travel Channel.

--"Hot in Cleveland" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TV Land. (--Cedric the Entertainer guests as a reverend when Betty White plans her wedding.)

--"The Real World/Road Rules Challenge" [21st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV.

--"Confessions: Animal Hoarding" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Animal Planet.

--"Top Chef Just Desserts" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo. (--Gail Simmons hosts as 14 pastry making contestants compete.)


The Mystery of Jani Lane's Makeshift Dog Tag:

Former WARRANT singer JANI LANE had a mysterious note on him when he was found dead earlier this month at a Comfort Inn. (--Which is considered a "first class hotel" among some in the metal community, specifically SKID ROW.) --The note said, quote, "I am Jani Lane" . . . and included the phone number for "a person close" to him. It was in his pocket. Jani didn't write the note . . . a friend of his did . . . and that person had made similar notes in the past. --What's the deal? --Well, "law enforcement sources" tell TMZ that Jani didn't have a form of official identification on him on the day he died . . . and he hadn't had an ID for a while. So, maybe this "friend" put the note on Jani as a makeshift dog tag. --This is what Jani's family thinks . . . and they are reportedly FURIOUS about it, because it suggests that the person who wrote it knew that Jani had issues . . . --And was aware that Jani was in danger of either abusing drugs, harming himself, or that he was not in a mental state to take care of himself. (--After all, Jani was 47 years old . . . and not a kindergartner with a note safety-pinned to his shirt.) --There's no criminal investigation into Jani's death. For now, officials believe it was either accidental or due to natural causes . . . but the toxicology test results haven't come back yet.


Today in Gangsta Rap: Snoop Dogg Wants to Break a Twitter Record:

If TUPAC and BIGGIE were alive today, do you think they'd be on Twitter . . . challenging each other to digital beefs through horribly misspelled Internet lingo, and in 140-character bursts? --Well, even if they were . . . that would still be FAR more gangsta than SNOOP DOGG'S latest endeavor. Check this out: --Snoop has amassed over four million Twitter followers, and he's decided to take advantage of that by setting a Twitter record for most re-tweets in one day. --He explains, quote, "Hitting four million Twizzles is a big moment for me . . . and I want to show the world how powerful and influential social media and my fans are, [so] I'm attempting to set the world record for the most 're-tweets.'" --It's unclear what the previous mark was, but REVEREND RUN supposedly set it UNOFFICIALLY last year. We're assuming Snoop is going to make this one official, because he's name-dropping the "Guinness Book of World Records". --His effort started yesterday, with this marijuana-related Tweet: Quote, "Moment of silence 4 tha world's biggest chronic break. Need my twizzles 2 pass this cyber blunt #PuffPuffPassTuesdays RT" (--From the tag, it sounds like the world record chase will be a weekly thing . . . and that it'll regularly mention weed. As of late last night, there's no word how well Snoop did on his first day. Here's his Twitter feed.)


Here's The Real Reason *Behind* Taylor Swift's Accidental Concert Upskirt:

We finally know the answer to one of the most important questions of the new millennium. --That being . . . how did TAYLOR SWIFT . . . who stringently controls every facet of her stage show . . . NOT know there was a wind machine on full blast ready to blow up her skirt and reveal her industrial strength granny panties? --The answer is that the fan was NOT supposed to be on. That's what Taylor told RYAN SEACREST. She said, quote, "We have wind machines for a few songs in the show and they weren't supposed to be on during that song. --"I walked over thinking it wasn't on and it just kind of blew it up a little bit. I was just sort of like, 'Well, that's new' and just continued on with the show." (--We know Taylor is super nice to her employees . . . so I'd love to hear how she dealt with the person who screwed that up. Especially considering how hard she works to protect her "good girl" image.) --While we're on the subject . . . Taylor Swift recently dropped $2.5 million on a historic home in Nashville, Tennessee. It's a 4-bedroom, 4.5 bathroom 5,601 square foot house that was formerly owned by the U.S. ambassador to Denmark. (--You can see photos of it, here. The house even has its own website. Check that out, here.)


WEDNESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS

Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


Former "CSI" star WILLIAM PETERSEN and his wife Gina Cirone are the parents of twins. The baby boy and girl were born July 5th to a surrogate mother, but were premature. Petersen says they're "doing great and improving every day." (Full Story)


ANNE HATHAWAY says she was more nervous about doing a British accent than she was about getting naked in her new movie "One Day". (Full Story)


The "National Enquirer" claims that KATE MIDDLETON suffered a miscarriage. (Full Story)



About a month ago, OKSANA GRIGORIEVA'S 13-year-old son Sasha accidentally put his hand through a plate glass window. Oksana's hysterical 911 call hit the web yesterday. (Full Story)


MATT DAMON has heard that MICHAEL MOORE wants him to run for president. But he says, quote, "I think there are probably better choices out there." (Full Story)


Check out the trailer for "The Way" . . . starring MARTIN SHEEN and directed by, and co-starring, his son EMILIO ESTEVEZ. (Emilio Video) And here's a 15-second promo for Comedy Central's upcoming CHARLIE SHEEN roast. (Charlie Video)


A "source" tells "People" that MARIAH CAREY will definitely be a part of "X Factor". She won't be a judge. Instead, she's going to "tape something with SIMON COWELL." There's talk that she's going to be some sort of "mentor," but it's unclear what that entails. (Full Story) (--Obviously, her role will be detailed once it becomes official. But for now, it just sounds like another example of how Simon is trying to stack his team.)


"New York" magazine says the Oxygen network has no plans to do another season of PARIS HILTON'S reality show "The World According to Paris". (Full Story)


"Saturday Night Live" recently announced that JIMMY FALLON would host an episode in December. The strange thing is, in an "SNL" skit that aired in December of 1998, Jimmy told ALEC BALDWIN, quote, "Apparently I become a huge star in the future and I host the show in the year 2011." (Full Story)


Ross Barbour . . . the last original member of the '50s group the Four Freshmen . . . has died. He was 82. (Full Story)


DWAYNE JOHNSON . . . a.k.a. THE ROCK . . . is developing a wrestling drama for NBC. All we know is that the show will be set in the '80s. (Full Story)


"Entourage" star JEREMY PIVEN is developing a reality show about GLASSBLOWING. (???) It doesn't have a network yet. (Full Story) (--Stop it! Not EVERY occupation is exciting enough to have its own reality show.)


ISAIAH MUSTAFA . . . that sexy Old Spice guy your wife desires . . . will have a recurring role on the new "Charlie's Angels" show. (Full Story)

THE GOOD NEWS

A 12-Year-Old Boy Delivers His Own Brother:

(--We always hear about the nonsense, strife, struggles, horrors, chaos, calamity and stupidity in the world . . . now . . . here's "The Good News.") This is either going to make this kid want to become a doctor . . . or scare him away from procreation and childbirth for the rest of his life. Could REALLY go either way. --Early Saturday morning, in Campbell River, British Columbia, 12-year-old Gaelan Edwards was watching TV when he heard his 30-year-old mother, Danielle Edwards, calling for help. --Danielle was pregnant . . . and had just gone into LABOR. --She says, quote, "I didn't go through any of the preliminary labor pains, none of it." She just suddenly found herself in labor with the baby's head crowning and no time to get to the hospital. --So it was up to Gaelan to deliver HIS OWN BROTHER. --Danielle says, quote, "I said, 'Gaelan, when I push next, I need you to grab the baby by the shoulders and pull him out.' And he, just like by instinct, grabbed the baby by the shoulders . . . and eased him out." --Then Gaelan went to the kitchen . . . grabbed some scissors and one of those clips you use to seal potato chip bags . . . clamped the umbilical cord . . . cut it . . . and helped his mom push out the placenta. --At that point they finally arranged to go to the hospital. Danielle was fine . . . her new sun, Caynan, was fine . . . and Gaelan wasn't too shaken up either. He starts seventh grade next month. (Victoria Times Colonist)


An NFL Legend is Reunited With His Championship Ring . . . That was Stolen Over 30 Years Ago:

ART DONOVAN is an NFL hall-of-famer who played defensive tackle for the Baltimore Colts when they won back-to-back NFL World Championships . . . that was the era before the Super Bowl . . . in 1958 and 1959. --That 1958 game is sometimes called the "Greatest Game Ever Played" . . . the Colts beat the New York Giants in sudden death, 23-to-17, at Yankee Stadium. --Back in 1977, Donovan was on a trip to Japan and his championship ring from that 1958 game was STOLEN. In the past 34 years, Donovan basically conceded that the ring was gone for good. --Then, earlier this month, police in Baltimore got a tip that Donovan's ring had surfaced. It was clearly Donovan's because it had his name and his jersey number, 70, engraved on it. And it was being sold on Craigslist for $20,000. --The police posed as buyers. As soon as they had the ring in hand, they told the seller it was stolen. --He told them he'd purchased it from a memorabilia dealer several years ago and had no idea it was stolen . . . and agreed to give it back to Donovan. No criminal charges will be filed. --So now, at age 86, Art Donovan was reunited with his first championship ring. (Fox Sports)


A 92-Year-Old Woman Takes a Bullet for Her Hairdresser . . . Then Worries the Hospital Will Mess Up Her New Hairdo During Surgery:

If there are two things we know for sure about elderly women, it's that they can't stand disrespectful young punks . . . and that they take their trips to the hair salon VERY seriously. --On Friday in Newport, Wales, 92-year-old Connie Evans proved both of those things. And became a HERO at the same time. --Connie was at a salon called Carol Ann's, and had just gotten her hair done by her hairdresser, 37-year-old Rachel Williams. --Suddenly, Rachel's estranged husband, 45-year-old Darren Williams, busted through the door . . . holding a DOUBLE-BARREL SHOTGUN. And Connie wasn't going to let him use it on her hairdresser. --She kicked a table toward Darren . . . then JUMPED in between him and Rachel. But Darren fired both barrels anyway. He hit Rachel in the leg . . . and the other bullet hit Connie in the NECK. --Thankfully, neither shot was fatal . . . the bullet just grazed Connie. And as she was being taken to the hospital, her main concern was . . . that the doctors didn't SHAVE HER HEAD and mess up her gorgeous new hairdo. --Both she and Rachel were treated and released . . . no hairs were harmed. --As for Darren, police tracked him down in the woods a few hours later . . . he had shot and killed himself. (Daily Mail)


This Year's College Freshmen Don't Remember Jordan on the Bulls . . . Never Saw "Cheers" . . . and Have Never Lived Without MP3s:

Every year this list comes out and we all want to KILL OURSELVES because we're SO DAMN OLD. --Beloit College in Wisconsin just released its annual "Mindset List" for this year's crop of incoming college freshmen . . . the class of 2015. Most of them were born in 1993, so they shouldn't remember much before 1998 or 1999. --Here are 13 highlights from this year's list of things today's college freshmen do or don't know . . . which will once again make you wonder if it's time to join the AARP.

#1.) They have no memory of the GEORGE BUSH presidency . . . meaning George H. W. Bush. In fact, they only have memories of the tail end of the CLINTON presidency.


#2.) Ferris Bueller is old enough to be their father.


#3.) "Amazon" makes them think of the website first, the river second. (--And, I'm guessing, the gorgeously gigantic women third.)


#4.) JOHN WAYNE BOBBITT has always been reattached, and O.J. SIMPSON has always been searching for the real killers.


#5.) MP3s have always been available to download, whether legally or illegally.


#6.) They've never seen the gigantic Sears catalog.


#7.) They have no memory of MICHAEL JORDAN on the Bulls.


#8.) They never saw "Cheers" on NBC.


#9.) Major League Baseball has never had fewer than six divisions, and has always had the wild card.


#10.) Their parents have told them stories about how they fought to get them a Tickle Me Elmo . . . when they were three.


#11.) Women have never been too old to have children.


#12.) They never saw the Soviet Union . . . to them, Russia has never had an official communist party.


#13.) The phrase "Don't touch that dial" on TV doesn't mean anything to them . . . their TVs never had dials.

(Beloit College)

(--You can see the full list here. And you can reach the author of the list, Ron Nief of Beloit College, at 608-770-2625.)


Forget Two Months' Salary . . . in This Economy, Men are Barely Willing to Drop Three Weeks' Salary on an Engagement Ring:

Good news for all the cheap bastards out there who somehow found a woman willing to spend the rest of their life with them. You don't have to max out your credit cards to get her an engagement ring after all. --According to a new survey, in today's economy, engagement ring spending is way down across the board. And hopefully, your future fiancée's expectations are going down with it. --The old rule of thumb used to be two or three months' salary for a ring. Now, TWO-THIRDS of men are spending about THREE WEEKS' SALARY. --In other words . . . in the past, someone making $50,000-a-year would've been looking at a ring in the $8,000 to $12,000 range. Now he's looking in the $3,000 range. --Fortunately, more than half of the women surveyed didn't realize their future husband had cheaped out on them and overestimated the price of their ring. --The majority also said they hoped that their boyfriend would spend at least one month's salary. (Daily Mail)
One in Four Single Women Would Rather Have a Neighbor With Pets Than Live Next Door to a Single Guy:

If you're a single guy hoping a couple hot single chicks move in to the apartment next door, we have some bad news for you. --A survey from Rent.com found that most single women don't want to have a single guy as a neighbor. --While almost half of all single men said they'd like to live next to an available woman, only 17% of the women said they'd want a single guy next door. --One in four women would rather live next door to neighbors with pets than a guy looking for a date. --In fact, most women aren't thinking about single guys at all when they're looking for a place to live. 57% of them say they make a housing decision based on affordability. --And even if you do luck out and live next to an available lady, she probably isn't shacking up with a hot roommate. Only 9% of single women share their place with another female. --Rent.com also looked at which cities had the best combination of professional opportunities, social life, and hot guys. And the best city for single women is . . . Phoenix, Arizona. --The rest of the top five are Seattle, Austin, Denver, and Washington, D.C. (Yahoo.com)


Did the Earthquake Yesterday Make Obama Miss a Putt?

As you may've heard everyone screaming about on cable news, PRESIDENT OBAMA is on vacation in Martha's Vineyard. And as you may've heard everyone screaming about on Twitter yesterday, there was an earthquake on the East Coast. --Those two scream-worthy events collided yesterday, because Obama was GOLFING when the earthquake hit . . . and it may've cost him a PUTT. --According to a blogger who was part of the journalist pool near the golf course, when the quake was hitting, quote, "He missed the hole on his first putt but got it close. He then tried to tap it in, but missed again." --Of course, the quake wasn't very strong up in Massachusetts where he was golfing, so those missed putts COULD just be because he's not a great golfer. (The Telegraph)


A New Side Effect of Global Warming Could Be . . . It'll Make Aliens Attack Us?

This is obviously absurd and ridiculous . . . UNLESS IT'S NOT. --Some very smart dudes from NASA and Penn State University put together a study on the different scenarios that could come from humans and aliens making contact. They range from friendly and enlightening, to the death of us all. --But one scenario stood out the most. They say because of global warming, aliens could see that we're changing the chemical composition of the atmosphere . . . and consider us a THREAT to the Milky Way galaxy. --Aliens could feel they HAVE to intervene to save the galaxy . . . and by "intervene," we mean "destroy our civilization." That's right: The way we're treating the planet might lead to an alien invasion sooner rather than later. You're welcome. (Sync)


More Than One-Third of People Use Their iPad in the Bathroom:

Might want to run a quick sanitizing wipe over your friend's iPad next time you're at their house and want to mess around with it. --A new survey by Staples found that 35% of iPad owners use it when they're on the toilet. They didn't find out how many people sanitize it afterward . . . but I'm guessing that number is somewhere close to ZERO. --In less-interesting findings, the survey revealed that 78% of people take their iPad to bed, 60% take it on vacation, and 30% take it into restaurants. (Mashable)


A Mets-Phillies Game was Delayed Because a Mets Player was On the Toilet When He was Supposed to be Batting:

Angel Pagan is an outfielder on the New York Mets. And since he's not a particularly well-known player . . . this is now officially what he's going to be known for. --On Monday night, the Mets were playing the Phillies in Philadelphia. And as the Mets wrapped up the bottom of the fourth inning, Pagan felt something going on in his stomach and knew he needed to sit himself on the toilet . . . NOW. --There was only one problem. He was scheduled to be the third batter that inning. He told the trainer he had to hit the bathroom and he'd rush so he could be done in time to bat. --But he wasn't. --And when the two guys before him got out quickly, he realized he was going to be late to his at-bat. --The crowd started booing and he finally got out to the field after a short delay. He quickly grounded out to end the inning . . . and after that, the manager pulled him and put a different player in center field. --After the game, Pagan and the manager had a meeting and smoothed over the diarrhea incident. --The Mets ended up losing 10-to-nothing. (New York Daily News)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS

A Woman Went to Flip Another Driver the Bird, Lost Control of Her Car . . . and Flipped it into a Ditch:

Before you start road raging, it's always a good idea to make sure you're actually a better driver than the people around you. Otherwise something like this might happen. --A 23-year-old woman was driving a 2004 Ford Taurus on Monday in Tacoma, Washington, and she wanted to get in the right-hand lane. But a driver in a Subaru Outback was already there. --Since the Outback wouldn't make room for her, the woman responded by flipping off the driver. At least, that was the plan. --When she let go of the wheel, she lost control of the car, hit the back end of the Outback, which FLIPPED over into a ditch next to the road. The woman crashed into the ditch too. --She's has been charged with reckless driving, and was hospitalized with minor injuries, along with both people in the Outback. (KING 5)


A Guy Robs a Bank . . . Then Returns the Money When His Girlfriend Yells at Him:

Communication is key in a successful relationship. If you don't believe me, just ask this bank robber. --On Monday, 36-year-old Otto McNab Jr. decided to rob a bank in Sugarloaf, Pennsylvania (--about 40 miles southwest of Scranton). --He told the teller he had a bomb and would detonate it unless she gave him money. It worked, and he left the bank with $2,262 in cash. --Otto got into the car, where his girlfriend was waiting. (--She wasn't named.) --There was just one problem. He hadn't told her why he was going into the bank, and when she found out he'd robbed the place, she FREAKED OUT. --She yelled at him so much that Otto finally got out of the car, went back into the bank, and RETURNED the money. --He still got arrested, and is charged with robbery and terroristic threats. His girlfriend won't face charges. (Citizens Voice)


A Woman Robs a White Castle by Climbing in Through the Drive-Thru Window:

All in all, this turned out to be a pretty athletically-impressive robbery. But it didn't start out that way . . . --At around 3:00 A.M. on Monday, a 33-year-old woman . . . whose name wasn't released . . . pulled up to a drive-thru window at a White Castle in north St. Louis, Missouri. And she handed the employee a note. --The note demanded they hand over their money . . . and the woman pulled out a GUN. --The employees immediately ran into a back office, locked the door, and called the cops. --Meanwhile, the robber pulled off her first athletic move of the robbery . . . she climbed through the drive-thru window, stole the cash drawer from the register, crawled back out, and took off. --The police tracked her down at her home in Warren, Missouri, which is when she pulled off her second athletic move . . . she jumped THREE STORIES down to the ground to get away. --That stunt injured her, though. She was taken to the hospital with non-fatal injuries and is looking at armed robbery charges. Her gun turned out to be fake. (Riverfront Times)


RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


Yes, sadly it's true: The total number of people who are unemployed in the U.S. is now bigger than the population of all but four states. And bigger than the population of either Greece or Portugal. (Full Story)



A delightful new study on . . . bedwetting. If a kid wets bed twice a week or more, they'll probably continue until they're teenagers. If both parents wet the bed when they were younger, there's an 80% chance their kids will. If one parent did, there's a 50% chance. And if neither did, there's still a 15% chance. (Full Story)


An outfielder for the St. Louis Cardinals had to leave a game on Monday night against the Dodgers . . . after a moth got stuck in his ear. (Full Story)


Now it's time for 'Things Apple is Worth More Than': All the child support paid last year, times ten . . . every home in Atlanta . . . and ten years of silver production. (Full Story)


How often does this happen? Hopefully, not often. A 15-year-old girl in Colorado ran away, tried to hide the fact that she did it, and created a hoax to make it look like she'd been abducted by drug dealers. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) Here are the Best Videos of the East Coast Earthquake . . . Which Basically Just Show Hanging Plants and Lights Swaying:

As you probably heard, the East Coast got hit by a 5.8 earthquake yesterday. The epicenter was near Mineral, Virginia . . . about 50 miles northwest of Richmond. But millions of people felt it from Georgia to Canada. --Compared to earthquakes in other parts of the world, it was pretty small. For example, the 9.0 earthquake in Japan in March was over a thousand times stronger. --But yesterday's quake still shook a lot of people up, and it was the biggest in the region since 1944. The website Gizmodo.com has a list of the best videos so far . . . but they're pretty unspectacular. --One shows a car that got crushed by falling debris from a building, but it doesn't show it happen. Another one shows confused people at an office watching the lights on the ceiling swing around. And one shows a hanging plant swaying from side to side. --That's the best there is to offer right now, but they're still updating the list. Needless to say, no deaths have been reported. (--Search for "Gizmodo All the Videos of the East Coast Earthquake.")


#2.) The Band OK GO Did the New Version of the "Muppet Show" Theme . . . and the Video References the Band's Crazy Music Videos:

The new MUPPETS movie comes out November 23rd. And to go with it, they released an album of famous Muppet songs, performed by famous musicians. It's called "The Green Album", and the band OK GO covers "The Muppet Show" theme song. --You probably won't love it . . . unless you're a HUGE Ok Go fan. But the video isn't bad, and they reference the band's crazy music videos, including the treadmill video, the Rube-Goldberg video, and the one with all the dogs. (--"The Green Album" also features Weezer doing "Rainbow Connection", Alkaline Trio doing "Movin' Right Along", and The Fray doing the "Manah Manah" song. Search for "Ok Go Muppet Show Theme.")


#3.) A Guy Woke His Son Up by Recreating the Video Game "Doom" . . . and Shooting Him with a Water Gun:

The next time your kids stay up all night playing video games, here's how to get them up the next day: A guy held a water gun out in front of him while he walked around the house with a camera . . . so it looked like the video game "Doom". --And he started singing the original music from the game. Then he walked into his son's room and started shooting. The kid actually thought it was funny . . . and still didn't get up. (--Search for "Dad's First-Person Shooter Wake Up.")


Five Crazy Ways Your Brain Can Malfunction:

If you're not feeling on top of your game because it's humpday, just be thankful you don't have one of these crazy disorders. Here's a list from Cracked.com of five weird ways your brain can malfunction.

#1.) Fregoli Syndrome. People with severe cases think everyone they meet is the same person. And as you'd imagine, they're also usually paranoid, because they constantly think someone's stalking them or playing a trick. --Fregoli syndrome also pairs up with other disorders: For example, one woman who suffered from it also suffered from something called erotomania (--er-ah-tah-MAY-nia) . . . the belief that someone's in love with you when they aren't. --She thought Erik Estrada from "CHiPs" was madly in love with her . . . and communicated with her telepathically. And she thought EVERYONE was Erik Estrada.

#2.) Visual Agnosia. It's when the image-processing part of your brain shorts out, and you can't identify things for what they are anymore. So, you look at an orange . . . and think it's an elephant. --In one case, a man with visual agnosia sat down for an interview with a neurologist. And at the end of the interview, he thought his wife's head was his HAT and tried to put it on. --The neurologist ended up writing a book about him called "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat".
#3.) Mirrored-Self Misidentification. It's when there's a breakdown in the part of your brain that understands how reflections work. So when you look in the mirror, you think you're looking at a stranger in a window. --It's extremely rare, but it's most common in Alzheimer's patients.

#4.) Anosognosia. (--Ano-sog-NO-zee-uh) It's when someone who's paralyzed genuinely believes they're NOT. And they make up excuses for why they can't move. --It sounds crazy, but it's actually common in stroke patients. According to several studies, over half of people with stroke-induced paralysis on one side of their body suffer from at least a mild form of it while they're recovering. --And it's not because they're just stubborn and won't admit they're disabled. It's because the area of the brain that controls body perception is damaged.

#5.) Somatoparaphrenia. (--So-muh-tuh-pahr-uh-FREE-nee-uh) It's when there's damage to the part of your brain that knows the map of your body. So you think that one of your limbs . . . like an arm or a foot . . . is someone else's. --In one case, a man denied ownership of an arm AND a foot. He didn't know whose foot it was, but for some reason he thought the arm belonged to a woman he knew named Maria. --Some people who suffer from it even try to have their limbs REMOVED. (Cracked.com)