MORE "AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY (5/29/09)

KRIS ALLEN AND ADAM LAMBERT AREN'T INTERESTED IN THE "POWER-TEXTING" CONSPIRACY THEORIES:

For whatever reason, some "American Idol" obsessives are STILL freaking out over that supposed AT&T texting conspiracy theory. But KRIS ALLEN and ADAM LAMBERT don't want any part of it.

Both of them appeared on the "Today" show yesterday . . . and they both denied that the so-called scandal had anything to do with the results.

(--Earlier this week, AT&T admitted that a few rogue employees went to Kris Allen support parties on voting night . . . and handed out cell phones with free text message capabilities, so that people could vote for Kris.)

(--The "New York Times" reported that the workers taught the super fans how to "power-text" . . . which allowed them to send 10 text votes simultaneously. AT&T stopped short of copping to this, and Fox insinuated that stunts like that would have been caught by the company that monitors the voting. But even if they didn't, "Idol" producers said that it wouldn't have impacted the results.)

When asked about the controversy, Kris said, "People are going to criticize you no matter what, and I had nothing to do with this. I just got up there and sang. I didn't call up AT&T and say, 'Hey, I need some more votes.'"

Adam added, "I think people are just looking for something to be dramatic about. I really think people need to relax and just accept that this is the way the vote went. Move forward. We get to make albums now; we get to tour all summer.

"There's not a conspiracy, people. Relax." He also said, "The bottom line is that we're such different artists that there's really no way to directly compete. It was up to America, and I'm really happy Kris won. He's super talented."

Whether you want to believe it or not, the results probably WERE an accurate representation of their popularity. And here's the latest evidence of that: Kris' version of KARA DIOGUARDI'S , "No Boundaries", is cleaning house on the "Billboard" Hot 100 Chart. It debuted at #11, with 134,000 downloads . . . while Adam's version lagged behind at #72, with only 36,000.

It was Kris' highest charting song . . . although he has five songs, overall, on the Hot 100. Adam has four songs on the chart. And not surprisingly, his top song is his version of "Mad World", which came in at #19 with 115,000 downloads.

====================================================================

CHECK OUT SOME RIDICULOUS VIDEOS OF "AMERICAN IDOL" NUTS REACTING TO KRIS ALLEN BEING NAMED THE WINNER:

There are probably MILLIONS of YouTube videos documenting how various insane "American Idol" fans reacted to KRIS ALLEN'S victory. If you're interested in that sort of thing, here's a site that has collected a few of them . .

http://blogs.trb.com/entertainment/technology/watchthis/2009/05/top_5_insane_american_idol_fan.html

SUSAN WANTS OUT OF BRITAIN

IS SUSAN BOYLE READY TO QUIT "BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT"???

When SUSAN BOYLE became a GLOBAL SUPERSTAR on "Britain's Got Talent", everyone thought she'd written her own ticket. Unfortunately, it was a TICKET TO HELL.

Sources say that Susan is having a hard time adjusting to her instant fame. And earlier this week, Britain's "Sun" tabloid reported that she launched a foul-mouthed tirade against a pair of morons who were apparently trying to get under her skin outside of the hotel where she and the other contestants are staying.

Some cops who happened to be nearby ended up having to calm her down. Yesterday, judge PIERS MORGAN went on "The Early Show" on CBS and said that Susan has even threatened to QUIT THE SHOW. (--The finale airs tomorrow night.)

He said, "From what I hear, she's been in tears the last two days. She even threatened to leave the show yesterday at one stage, because of the sheer amount of pressure on her. "And you have to remember with Susan, she's a 48-year-old lady from a tiny village in Scotland who has never been exposed to anything like this kind of attention. And I think she's really feeling the heat."

He added, "I feel very, very sorry for her. At the same time, I've tried to explain to her, 'Look, you know, this is still a wonderful opportunity for you. And most people out there still have great affection for you, and are really willing you to victory. "'So try to keep calm, don't read the newspapers, don't watch television, keep yourself very cool and composed, and just focus on [tomorrow night's] performance.'"

GUITAR HERO 5

NEW DETAILS ON "GUITAR HERO 5":

Activision has announced that "Guitar Hero 5" will be arriving a little earlier than expected. It's scheduled to be released on September 1st. (--No one is saying this, but it seems obvious that Activision wanted to get "Guitar Hero 5" out before THE BEATLES' "Rock Band" game drops on September 9th.)

"Guitar Hero 5" will include 85 new master recordings. The full band lineup hasn't been released yet . . . but "Rolling Stone" has "confirmed" a few names.

They say it'll feature tracks from: Kings of Leon, Weezer, Bon Jovi, Billy Idol, (the late) Elliott Smith, Santana, Sonic Youth, A Perfect Circle, the Bronx, and Queen & David Bowie . . . (--which will probably be "Under Pressure".)

There's no word on which specific songs will be included. In addition, CNET.com is reporting that "Guitar Hero 5" will feature: --The Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil", Bob Dylan's "All Along the Watchtower", The White Stripes' "Blue Orchid", Tom Petty's "Runnin' Down a Dream", Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire", and Kings of Leon's "Sex on Fire".

The best part is that "Guitar Hero 5" will also be compatible with any content you downloaded for the last game, "Guitar Hero: World Tour".

REPORTER REMOVED

A REPORTER WAS FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE PRESS AREA NEAR AIR FORCE ONE . . . DURING OBAMA'S TRIP TO LOS ANGELES:

You might know that, yesterday, PRESIDENT OBAMA was in Los Angeles . . . after attending a Democratic National Committee fundraiser in Beverly Hills the night before.

But what you might NOT know is that just ten minutes before Obama arrived at Los Angeles International Airport to board Air Force One, a reporter named Brenda Lee was dragged away from the press area . . . kicking and screaming . . . even though she had White House press credentials.

So why was Brenda forcibly removed from the press area? Apparently, Brenda . . . who writes for a small, monthly newspaper called the "Georgia Informer" . . . wanted to give Obama a letter urging him to, quote, "take a stand for traditional marriage."

But after a member of the Secret Service refused to give the letter to Obama, and Brenda refused to give the letter to anyone but Obama himself . . . she started causing a scene and was dragged away by airport security. (NBC Los Angeles)

(--Check out a photo of Brenda being hauled off . . .)

FREE GOAT WITH YOUR PURCHASE

MITSUBISHI DEALERS IN NEW ZEALAND ARE OFFERING A FREE GOAT . . . WITH EVERY NEW CAR PURCHASE:

Here in America, we're trying to "fix" the economy by throwing billions of taxpayer dollars into failing corporations, which . . . you could make the case . . . isn't the smartest move. So you have to appreciate THIS . . .

This week, Mitsubishi Motors New Zealand announced that . . . in an effort to jump-start the failing economy . . . they'll be throwing in a FREE GOAT with every Mitsubishi Triton pickup truck purchased before August 1st. No, you heard correctly. Mitsubishi New Zealand is giving away free GOATS.

According to a spokesman for Mitsubishi Motors New Zealand, "We are aware that three years of drought has severely depleted sheep and beef populations, so what better time to float the goat?"

And get this . . . --If you don't want the goat, Mitsubishi is also offering a "no-goat" package which includes an extended warranty package, $500 worth of free accessories . . . and free roadside assistance for five years. (Brisbane Times)

(--Wait, am I missing something? How is free roadside assistance, an extended warranty and all that other stuff the monetary equivalent of . . . a GOAT? I mean, unless the goat's made of solid gold . . . I'm a little confused.)

LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

SIX TIPS FOR MAKING YOUR LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK:

#1.) SET A TIME TO TALK. Create a schedule for talking on the phone. Spontaneous contact is still a good idea, but setting a time will give you both a sense of security in the relationship.

Talk to each other about your friends and the things you're doing while you're apart. Sharing mundane details will make you feel like you're a part of each other's lives, regardless of how far away from each other you live.

#2.) VISIT OFTEN. Try to visit each other as much as possible. You can even try meeting at a halfway point. That way, neither of you feels put out, and the place you visit can always be "your spot."

Always having an in-person meeting scheduled gives you something to look forward to during the long times in between visits.

#3.) MAKE USE OF TECHNOLOGY. Keep your eye out for tech devices that will help keep you connected. A digital camera is great for showing off a new haircut, and you can IM someone in another state faster than you can walk to your coworker's cubicle.

#4.) DATE OUTSIDE THE BOX. Creativity will help keep your relationship alive. While same-city couples can easily wind up watching "Friends" reruns together, you need to maximize the time you have together, so plan a few fun dates in advance. Or try going on a "virtual date" where you each visit an ice cream shop in your respective cities, talking on your cell phone the whole time.

#5.) FIGHT FAIR . . . AND FAST. A disagreement that might usually be resolved with a quick hug or a sincere "sorry" can be intensified by distance. It's easy to misunderstand emails when you can't hear someone's voice or read their body language.

To resolve things quickly and calmly, explain why you're upset during your next regular phone call. Calling immediately can make your partner feel ambushed, and emailing can create more misunderstandings.

If things do escalate, stick to a rule: When it comes to telephone conversations, it's okay to take a break and arrange to call back later, but NEVER hang up on someone.

#6.) PLAN FOR THE FUTURE. Every once in a while, have one of those annoying "define the relationship" talks, so you're on the same page. For example, it's important to know if neither of you plans to move for the other, so you can evaluate your future.

Schedule talks when you can take stock of what's working, what's not, and what you both want to happen next. It might be uncomfortable . . . but people who live a few minutes apart have to do it too. (Happen Magazine)

MORE "AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY

"AMERICAN IDOL" CONTROVERSY: DID AT&T WORKERS CHEAT TO SWAY THE FINAL "IDOL" VOTE IN KRIS ALLEN'S FAVOR???

This one's for all the "American Idol" conspiracy theorists out there: A HUGE, EARTH-SHATTERING new "Idol" voting "controversy" sprang up yesterday . . . and this one actually has nothing to do with ADAM LAMBERT'S sexuality.

The "New York Times" has published a SHOCKING EXPOSÉ, claming that employees of AT&T . . . one of "Idol's" biggest corporate sponsors . . . cheated to sway the final "Idol" vote in favor of KRIS ALLEN.

Here are the details:

On the night of the last performance show, AT&T workers showed up at two large Kris Allen support parties, in his home state of Arkansas. They passed out free phones, with free text messaging capabilities . . . so that everyone could vote, non-stop, for Kris. But that's not all: The "Times" claims the AT&T employees taught the fans how to do something called "power texting" . . . which allows you to send 10 or more simultaneous texts, at the push of a single button. That would be against "Idol" rules.

After every episode, "Idol" flashes a disclaimer in super-small print saying that blocks of votes using "technical enhancements" are forbidden and will be thrown out. (--It's unclear how obvious "power texts" would be to the "Idol" vote monitors.) AT&T IS owning up to all this . . . except they don't specifically address the "power texting" accusation. Regardless, though, they don't think it impacted the final vote.

The company has released this statement: "In Arkansas, a few local AT&T employees were invited to attend two local watch parties organized by the community. "Caught up in the enthusiasm of rooting for their hometown contestant, they brought a small number of demo phones with them and provided texting tutorials to those who were interested. (--Yeah, "texting tutorials" doesn't sound shady at all.) "Going forward, we will make sure our employees understand our sponsorship celebrates the competition, not individual contestants. That said, it's quite a leap to suggest that a few individuals could have impacted the final results."

Fox and the producers of "American Idol" also released a statement, backing up the claim that the final outcome wasn't affected: Quote, "[We] are absolutely certain that the results of this competition are fair, accurate and verified. Kris Allen is, without a doubt, the American Idol." --"We have an independent third-party monitoring procedure in place to ensure the integrity of the voting process. In no way did any individuals unfairly influence the outcome of the competition."

Now, to be straight with you: There was some unfairness going on here. In addition to the "technically enhanced" texting rules, "Idol" clearly states that, "standard rates apply" . . . so it isn't cool that these people got to vote using FREE texts. And then there's the fact that AT&T . . . due to their sponsorship . . . is the only service that can send text message votes to "Idol". (--But that's only relevant if the entire COMPANY was backing Kris. And that doesn't appear to be the case.)

BUT . . . it sounds like this scandal would have to be much, MUCH bigger than it appears now in order for it to seriously affect the overall voting. Here's some analysis, courtesy of the "Hollywood Reporter" . . . quote, "Based on the available information, the math supports the network and phone company . . ." "The 'Arkansas Post-Democrat' said the phone company provided about 50 units at one event, 30 at another. Other sources put the number of phones as considerably lower. Let's say there were indeed 80 free power-text phones in play. "And suppose each was used to vote once per minute by Allen partygoers while they watched the two-hour telecast. That's 9,600 text messages. And suppose each voter sent 10 votes for Allen each time. That would give Allen 96,000 votes. "And this assumes that the 1,200 votes per phone wasn't flagged. 'Idol' votes are not blindly collected; there's a monitoring system in place to catch irregularities.

"Network sources say more than 100 million votes were cast in the contest . . . the most votes ever for an 'Idol' finale . . . [according to] RYAN SEACREST. Fox reps have previously told reporters that Allen won by a large margin. "All of which suggests a vote gap that no amount of Arkansas viewing party voting could have overcome to give Lambert the win." (--OK, you know what? Kris won "American Idol". It's over . . They're both going to release albums, they've both already received an "Idol" platform . . . so who freakin' cares??? It's up to them what they do from here.)

WILL FERRELL NEWS

WILL FERRELL HELPS OUT!

WILL FERRELL has his own line of sunscreens now. The proceeds go to a charity called Cancer for College. It's a charity that helps pay for college for cancer survivors and amputees. (--The charity was started by a fraternity brother of Will's . . . who's a two-time cancer survivor and double amputee. You can check the sunscreens out here . . .) http://www.cancerforcollege.org/

In other WILL FERRELL news, Will himself claims there's a really good chance that "Anchorman 2" will happen. He's going to meet soon with co-stars Paul Rudd, Steve Carell and David Koechner . . . as well as producer Judd Apatow . . . to discuss it.

But he adds, "Because especially with Steve Carell and Paul Rudd, they're in different places with their careers, it's a lot harder to get us all together. And believe me, I'm not taking a paycut."

KIND HEARTED CLERK

A CONVENIENCE STORE CLERK GAVE A ROBBER MONEY OUT OF HIS OWN POCKET . . . SO THE GUY COULD BUY INSULIN:

I don't know about you, but if I was an E-Z Mart clerk and somebody tried to rob the store . . . I'd empty the register without a second thought. Which is why I find THIS so unusual . . .

On Monday, an unidentified clerk was working at the E-Z Mart convenience store in Fort Smith, Arkansas when a guy walked in, showed the clerk a gun . . . and told him he needed $40 from the register.

But instead of handing over the money, the clerk told the guy that the money in the register wasn't his to give. So the thief reasoned with the clerk and told him the reason he needed the money . . . was so he could buy INSULIN.

Get this . . . The clerk told the thief he didn't want him to go to jail for robbery. So instead of emptying the register . . . he took $40 OUT OF HIS OWN POCKET and gave it to the robber. Then the thief shook the clerk's hand . . . and left. Police still haven't caught the guy. (Times Record)

FUNNY VIDEO'S OF THE DAY (5/28/09)

HILLARY'S WIFE??

About 44 seconds into this video, BILL CLINTON tells a story about how his friend's 5-year-old kid described him as, quote, "HILLARY'S wife."

http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=344503
(Search Terms: Bill Clinton at Cannes "That's Hillary's wife" video)

===================================================================

BIG CHEEKS!!

A hamster tries to ram an entire pencil into its mouth.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1911881
(Search Terms: hamster eats pencil video)

BATHROOM BREAK

THE AVERAGE AMERICAN SPENDS A TOTAL OF EIGHT DAYS A YEAR . . . IN THE BATHROOM:

When I'm in need of a little peace and quiet, I find there's no better place to get it . . . than the BATHROOM. And, apparently, a lot of you feel the same way.

Listen to this . . . According to a new survey, the average American spends about 30 minutes a day . . . in the bathroom. And . . . contrary to popular belief . . . men spend nearly as much time in the bathroom as women.

ONE in TEN Americans spend an average of 60 minutes a day in the bathroom. Roughly ONE in FOUR Americans . . . (--26% for women and 24% for men) . . . say they generally make up an excuse for why they're going to the bathroom. And nearly TWO in FIVE Americans say they're eating more comfort food, junk food and fast food now . . . because they're stressed out about the economy. Overall, the average American spends EIGHT DAYS a year . . . in the bathroom. (PR Newswire)

FATHER SON CHAT

HERE'S A LIST OF STUFF YOUR DAD SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU:

Let's face it . . . some of the advice your dad gave you growing up was probably pretty GOOD. And some of it, I imagine, was pretty BAD.

But whether your dad was the king of good advice . . . or he ignored you altogether . . . here are ten things the old man probably should have told you.

#1.) How to properly bait a fishing line
#2.) How to fix a car
#3.) That you need to get a haircut
#4.) That it's not enough to just be well-rounded . . . you need to be really good at something too
#5.) You need to learn to drive LEFT when playing basketball (???)
#6.) How to LOVE working out
#7.) Don't just party in college . . . try to do something MORE to really take advantage of your time, because you'll never get to do it again
#8.) You can't win without a good quarterback (???)
#9.) Use sunscreen
#10.) NEVER underestimate your fertility

For the sake of being thorough, here's a list of stuff OUR dads told us when we were young, which . . . for one reason or another . . . stuck with us.

--You shouldn't fight . . . but at some point, you'll probably have to.
--No one cares about you as much as you do. If someone says they're helping you, they're getting something out of it.

--Always find a way to turn a negative into a positive . . . even if it's just as a "learning experience".

--Get as much education as you can so you don't get stuck in a dead-end job.

--Always leave a place in better condition than you found it.

--If your shoes aren't shined, you're only half dressed.

--If you want to know whether a hot chick will become a chubby, look at her mom.

--Read this sex book. If you have any questions, I'll be in the garage. (Asylum)

JO-BRO'S IN BRAZIL

CHECK OUT THE VIDEO OF THE NEW JONAS BROTHER'S SONG "PARANOID"..

The JONAS BROTHERS have unveiled the video for their new song "Paranoid".

(--You can check it out at their MySpace page, here . . .)http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=57667771

IDOL NEWS (5-27)

KRIS ALLEN AND ADAM LAMBERT ARE TALKING ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT THEIR UPCOMING ALBUMS TO SOUND LIKE:

Now that "American Idol" is over, KRIS ALLEN and runner-up ADAM LAMBERT are talking about what kind of music they want to make. And as you might expect, they want to do stuff similar to what they did on the show.

Kris says, "'Ain't No Sunshine' . . . that's the kind of stuff I want to do, stuff that has that feel, that kind of moves people." Kris adds that he'd like the opportunity to include some of his own compositions on his album. He says, "I'm not a man of many words. I'm not very expressive or emotional but it comes out in my music. It's the way I express how I feel." (--Kris will release an album through "Idol's" 19 Entertainment. It'll be THEIR call on whether the disc includes any of his original songs.)

Meanwhile, Adam is going for something a little FLASHIER. He says, "I think [my album] can be a collection of different styles with me at the center [as] the common thread. I don't want to do one specific genre. I'm more about fusion." "There are a lot of pop artists that are using the 'glam' kind of vibe in their music currently so I think I'm actually part of a wave. There just happens to not be many guys doing it right now."

Adam doesn't have a record deal lined up yet, but he says "Idol's" 19 Entertainment is interested in working with him . . . and giving him some control. --He says, quote, "In my talks with 19, the label and management company, we've discussed it and I've expressed my desire to have a lot of involvement in the process. I plan on being present and involved. And they are totally supportive of that."

By the way, KANYE WEST HAS heard Kris' version of "Heartless" . . . and it sounds like he digs it. He sent a message to "Extra", saying, "Yo, Kris. Congratulations. Get ready for the big leagues." Kris later responded, "Thank you for liking the song, Kanye. Thank you for writing the song. The whole CD ['808s and Heartbreak'] is amazing. Hopefully we can work together. That'd be great. Thanks for the congrats. I appreciate it."

(--Not that this is going to happen, but I'd DEFINITELY be interested in hearing a Kris / Kanye collaboration.)

I WANTED A CAR & THEY BOUGHT ME A COMPUTER!

ENJOY A DAY OFF HERE!

Any "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" fans out there looking for a new home??? Well, Cameron's house is for sale. You remember the house, right??? It's the house that had that glass-walled garage that the Ferrari busted through when Cameron kicked it.

Yea, that's a real house. It's in Highland Park, Illinois . . . and it can be yours for a mere $2.3 million.

(--Check out the real estate listing here . . .)http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/370-Beech-Street_Highland-Park_IL_60035_1109385563

MIND BLOWING

CHECK OUT THESE COOL, REALISTIC-LOOKING 3D MURALS PAINTED ON THE SIDES OF BUILDINGS:

Let's face it . . . the average wall mural painted on the side of a building isn't all that impressive. -But there's an artist named John Pugh who specializes in large, realistic-looking 3D murals and . . . I have to say . . . his work is extremely cool. (Daily Mail)

(--Check out some of John's murals. . .)

EWW!!

A FOURTH-GRADE TEACHER ATE 16 WORMS YESTERDAY . . . ONE FOR EACH STUDENT WHO PASSED A STANDARDIZED STATE TEST:

Earlier this year, Alison Gros of New Orleans made a deal with her fourth-grade students at Andrew Jackson Elementary School. For each student that passed the state's standardized LEAP test . . . she'd eat ONE WORM. And if anyone's LEAP test score was considered "advanced" . . . meaning they did exceptionally well . . . she'd eat FIVE WORMS.

Well, the LEAP test came and went, and yesterday Alison and her entire class headed over to New Orleans' Audubon Insectarium . . . where Alison choked down a grand total of 16 WORMS.

So how did the worms taste? --Alison says, "It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm glad they weren't the slimy, fishy kind. They were good." (WWL News 4 - New Orleans)

LOOKING AHEAD TO TOMORROW

***THE MOST-IMPORTANT INVENTIONS OF THE NEXT TEN YEARS ***

Things have looked bleak on the economic front for a while. So if necessity is the mother of invention . . . we should have a lot to look forward to!

According to "Business Week" magazine, here are eight of the most-important inventions you can expect to see in the next 10 years . . .

#1.) OCEAN-DRIVEN HYDROPOWER. Dams use the power of rivers to generate electricity. But within the next few years, off-shore turbines will be using the same principle to harness the power of the ocean currents.

#2.) MINIATURE MEDICAL EQUIPMENT. Researchers in the Netherlands say they've developed a pill that can be loaded with medicine and programmed to unload at a specific part of the body. And a pen-sized device is being developed at the University of Texas that can detect skin cancer without the need for a biopsy.

#3.) NEW BIO-FUELS. The first round of bio-fuels were made from edible material, which caused a spike in global food prices. But now scientists are starting to create fuel using things like corn stalks, woodchips, and tropical grass.

#4.) TRULY ON-DEMAND ENTERTAINMENT. In the next ten years, cable television and the Internet will merge. And as they do, you'll be able to watch, listen to, or read anything you want, whenever you want. (You can do this now at www.wjyy.com)

#5.) SUPER-HIGH-SPEED INTERNET. The Internet is actually SLOWER in the United States than it is in parts of Asia and Europe, but within the next ten years, that's going to change. Soon, high-speed wireless Internet will be available nearly everywhere.

#6.) TINY COMPUTERS. Nanotechnology is allowing scientists to dramatically shrink the size of electronics. And researchers in Chicago recently came up with a new material that can store the equivalent of 250 DVDs on the space of a quarter.

#7.) SUPERCHARGED BATTERIES. Millions of dollars are being poured into research to develop longer-lasting batteries, which we'll need if we plan to end our dependency on oil.

#8.) A CURE FOR CANCER. Nanotechnology is also allowing doctors to make huge strides in cancer, AIDS, and Alzheimer's research. And some scientists think we're less than a decade away from curing those diseases. (BusinessWeek.com)

AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY (5/26/09)

ADAM LAMBERT HAS NOT BEEN OFFERED A JOB SINGING FOR QUEEN . . . BUT THE BAND *IS* INTERESTED IN TALKING TO HIM:

Ever since ADAM LAMBERT performed with QUEEN on the "American Idol" finale, there have been rumors that the band has asked Adam to be their new singer. But guitarist BRIAN MAY says that he hasn't even talked to Adam about it . . . yet. (--As you may know, Queen just parted ways with their latest singer, PAUL RODGERS, who had been with the band since 2004. Of course, Queen's LEGENDARY original singer FREDDIE MERCURY died of AIDS in 1991.)

Brian tells "Rolling Stone", "Amongst all that furor, there wasn't really a quiet moment to talk. But [drummer ROGER TAYLOR] and I are definitely hoping to have a meaningful conversation with him at some point. "It's not like we, as Queen, would rush into coalescing with another singer just like that. It isn't that easy. But I'd certainly like to work with Adam. That is one amazing instrument he has there." (--He's talking about his VOICE . . . obviously.)

So does that mean Brian thinks "Idol" could be a forum to develop legitimate new rock singers? Well . . . possibly. He says, "You'd have to define 'legitimate' first. The long-term answer has to be that, if you have enough talent and enough will to succeed, you will get there by whatever route presents itself." -"Once you have scaled the castle walls, with the sword in your hand, it matters little how you got there. I've not always been positive about shows like this, but there is no doubt that it offers a door to some real genuine talent along the way."

He adds, quote, "Both [Adam and KRIS ALLEN] are well worthy of big success. So it's pointless for someone like me to stand on the sidelines jeering. I'm confident Adam will make great use of this wonderful opportunity. I hope I'm there to see it."

===================================================================

GENE SIMMONS SAYS ADAM LAMBERT IS NO ROCK SINGER:

(--Regardless of what BRIAN MAY of QUEEN may think . . .) GENE SIMMONS doesn't think ADAM LAMBERT has a future as a rock singer. (--KISS, like Queen, performed with Adam on last week's finale.)

Gene says, quote, "Respectfully, I don't think Adam is a rock singer. He sounds much more convincing singing ballads and Broadway shows. His voice doesn't seem to have a 'rock quality.' But, I'm sure he's going to do just fine."

(--However, he did add that he believes Adam will have a more successful career than KRIS ALLEN, who came out on top after all the "Idol" votes were counted.)

====================================================================

BIKINI GIRL" THINKS KARA DIOGUARDI "MADE HERSELF LOOK STUPID" BY JOINING HER ONSTAGE ON LAST WEEK'S FINALE:

In a new interview, KATRINA DARRELL . . . (--a.k.a. "Bikini Girl") . . . says that ("American Idol" judge) KARA DIOGUARDI was the one who came off looking "stupid" when the two shared the stage during the "Idol" finale last week. (--If you somehow missed it, Kara interrupted Katrina's encore performance of MARIAH CAREY'S "Vision of Love", by walking out onstage to join her for an impromptu sing-off. Later, Kara even flashed her OWN bikini body.)

Now, Katrina tells RadarOnline.com, "I don't think she got the reaction she was hoping for. I think she probably thought I would cry or get mad, and I didn't . . . I played it off. Looking back at the tape, she just made herself look stupid. "She didn't make me look stupid. I knew there were 100 million viewers, so I couldn't cry. I couldn't get mad. I just had to smile and deal with it." For the record, Katrina DID seem pretty PISSED the entire time that Kara was onstage with her. But Katrina explains, "I think [the 'Idol' producers] tested me. I think I did really well considering all that I went through."

(--For more, you can find a short video of Katrina's Kara-bashing interview, here . . .) http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/05/exclusive-interview-bikini-girl-slams-kara-dioguardi

STOP THAT CHEESE!

HEY, STOP THAT CHEESE!!

These Brits chase cheese down a hill as part of an annual tradition. Seriously. Just check it out . .

(Check out another video of the Cheese Chasing here....

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid18731164001?bctid=24205777001) (Search Terms: chase cheese down hill mirror)

HOW BIZARRE NEWS (05/26/09)

WEARING SUPER-TIGHT JEANS CAN CAUSE A MEDICAL CONDITION . . . CALLED "TINGLING THIGH SYNDROME":

You know those super-tight skinny jeans that all the ladies . . . and all the "cool" GUYS . . . are wearing? Well, it turns out they could actually be bad for your health. How? Apparently, the constant pressure from the denim can actually cut off a nerve in your pelvis . . . called the lateral femoral cutaneous nerve . . . and cause a medical condition known as "tingling thigh syndrome".

So what are the symptoms of "tingling thigh syndrome"? Generally, sufferers feel numbness, tingling or a burning sensation along their thigh . . . and it can even make you feel like you're floating when you walk. And wearing high heels can increase your risk of getting "tingling thigh syndrome" because the shoes tilt your pelvis forward . . . which increases the pressure on the nerve.

Fortunately, "tingling thigh syndrome" isn't usually permanent . . . and things generally go back to normal after the pressure is removed. (MSNBC)

====================================================================

THIS YEAR'S TRYOUTS FOR THE DALLAS COWBOYS CHEERLEADERS INCLUDES A QUIZ . . . ON CURRENT EVENTS AND GEOGRAPHY???

Let's be honest . . . the reason we all know about the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders isn't because they're SMART.

So I was surprised to learn that this year's tryouts for the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad includes a QUIZ covering the Cowboys football team, the cheerleaders' history, the National Football League . . . and current events.

I know what you're thinking. Why would a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader need to be up on current events? Well, according to the director of the Cowboys cheerleaders, "We're obviously looking for dynamic performers, but there's so much involved in this job that has nothing to do with dance. That's why we have to take a more wide-ranging approach in the audition."

So what kinds of questions are on the quiz?

#1.) Name the Cowboys legend who served as head coach for the team's first 29 years. (--Answer: Tom Landry)

#2.) What was the Cowboys' first season in the NFL? (--Answer: 1960)

#3.) Who is commissioner of the NFL? (--Answer: Roger Goodell)

#4.) Name one country that borders Iraq. (--Answer: Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, Turkey or Iran) (Dallas Morning News)

====================================================================

A GUY SUCKED RATTLESNAKE VENOM OUT OF HIS DOG'S NOSE TO SAVE ITS LIFE . . . AND IT ALMOST KILLED HIM:

We've all heard that the correct way to treat a poisonous snake bite is to SUCK the venom out of the bite . . . right? Well, it turns out that's not actually true. Observe . . . Two Fridays ago, 50-year-old Bobby Jenkins of Hawk Springs, Wyoming was out with his three dogs when one of them . . . a chocolate Lab named Tank . . . was bitten on the nose by a rattlesnake.

So Bobby grabbed a shovel and killed the snake. Then, in order to save Tank's life, Bobby started to suck the venom out of Tank's nose. But the venom made Bobby so sick that while Tank was being treated by the veterinarian . . . Bobby had to go to the emergency room and shell out $14,000 for anti-venom to save his own life.

Bobby says, quote, "It was 20 minutes to town and I knew [Tank] wouldn't make it. So I grabbed his nose and started sucking the rattlesnake poison out of the top of his nose and spit it on the ground. It was just instinct. I saved the dog and I saved myself." (Casper Star-Tribune)

(--Check out a photo of Bobby and Tank. . .)

====================================================================

A THIEF ROBBED THE SAME GAS STATION TWICE IN TEN DAYS . . . AND APOLOGIZED TO THE CLERK:

On May 5th, an unidentified guy walked into a Shell gas station in Spanaway, Washington. First he asked for a pack of cigarettes. Then he told the clerk he had a gun . . . and that he'd use it unless the clerk handed over all the money.

The police were called . . . but the thief was never caught. But get this . . . Ten days later, the EXACT same thief walked into the EXACT same gas station . . . and robbed it in the exact same way. But this time, the clerk recognized him, and while he was handing over the money . . . the clerk started MOCKING the thief. And before leaving, the thief said "goodbye" . . . and actually apologized to the clerk.

(--Just so you have it in front of you, here's a transcript of the conversation between the clerk and the robber . . .)

--Thief: "Yeah. Uh, sorry to do this to you buddy but I got a gun, give me all your cash now."
--Clerk: "Weren't you just here last week?"
--Thief: "No, I wasn't. Come on, give me . . ."
--Clerk: "Cause my brother was here."

--Thief: "I wasn't here. Give me the money now, buddy. I've got an (effing) .38 in my pocket."

--Clerk: "I just thought you were happy to see me. You do know you were on TV last week."

--Thief: "Yeah right, whatever. Come on, come on."

--Clerk: "Cause they're probably going to . . ."

--Thief: "Give it to me, all of it. Come on, come on. Hurry."

--Clerk: "Whatever, dude."

--Thief: "And the cigarettes, give me the cigarettes."

--Clerk: "Oh, you want the cigarettes, too?"

--Thief: "Thank you, bye-bye. I'm sorry, I'm broke, I'm out of work."

--Clerk: "Well, if you keep coming back here, they're going to wait for you, dumbass." (KVAL News 13 - Eugene)

(You can check out surveillance camera footage of the second robbery here . . .)http://www.kval.com/news/45772242.html

NOW THAT'S A BIG MUSTACHE

THE WORLD BEARD AND MUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIPS TOOK PLACE OVER THE WEEKEND (AND WE'VE GOT PICTURES):

I'm a big fan of abnormal facial hair. If you are too, you'll be happy to hear that on Saturday, the World Beard and Mustache Championships took place in Anchorage, Alaska. (--The winner was an Anchorage native . . . named David Traver . . . who sported a beard he'd woven to resemble an Alaskan snowshoe. Pretty cool..)

(--You can get more info on the World Beard and Mustache Championships here . . .)http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/(Daily Mail)

END THE CYCLE

***THREE WAYS TO END THE BREAK-UP CYCLE***

On-again, off-again couples are caught between wanting freedom, and worrying they won't find something better. Here's how to decide whether to sign on for the long haul or get out for good . . .

#1.) EXPECT THE WORST-CASE-SCENARIO. Some people keep returning to a struggling relationship because they think they can change the other person. But that's wishful thinking. Instead, assume that the bad behavior will only get WORSE.

Then do some serious thinking. If the bad behavior doesn't improve, would you still want to be with the person?

#2.) GET ADVICE FROM SOMEONE YOU TRUST. Therapists fill this role perfectly, but trusted family and friends can be just as helpful. They can give you an unbiased opinion about whether or not your relationship has a future.

Just remember, the person HAS to be unbiased. If your mom already hates or loves your significant other, then she's probably not the right person to turn to for advice.

#3.) TAKE A TIME-OUT. In an on-again, off-again relationship, taking a break is par for the course. But resolve to make the next break different. Use the emotional distance to think clearly about what you want from a long-term relationship.

Make a list if it helps you organize your thoughts. If your partner doesn't measure up, make the temporary break-up a permanent one. And remember, missing the other person is NOT a good enough reason to get back together. (Psychology Today Magazine)