November 18, 2009

SIX REASONS YOU'RE CHRONICALLY LATE TO WORK:

Are you running late to work today? Are you ALWAYS late to work? If you are, I don't mean to stress you out even more right now, but . . . being chronically late can make you look unprofessional, and it can even get you fired. Luckily, I've got six reasons why you're not getting to work on time, and what you can do about it . . .

#1.) YOU SLEEP IN. If you're so exhausted every morning that you sleep in until the last possible minute, obviously it's time to start going to bed earlier. When you're sleep-deprived your brain works slower, and it can even make you die younger. --If you're getting at least seven hours of sleep a night and you STILL feel exhausted, see your doctor. It could be a thyroid issue. It could also be stress, or your nightly routine before bed. It could be a lot of things. But there's usually something you can do about it.

#2.) YOU TRY TO GET ONE LAST THING DONE. People do this all the time. They try to send one last email, or put a load of laundry in, or finish watching a show. And they end up being five minutes late. --But it's almost always stuff they could do later. So prioritize. Getting to work on time should be at the top of your list. If the one last thing you're trying to accomplish could be done at work, then do it there. Or just wait until you get home.

#3.) YOU UNDERESTIMATE YOUR COMMUTE TIME. People who are chronically late tend to be VERY optimistic about their commute. Sure, if there's no traffic, you can get there in 20 minutes. But there's ALWAYS traffic. --So be realistic. If your commute usually takes a half hour, give yourself 40 minutes. Getting to work a few minutes early won't kill you.

#4.) YOU CAN'T FIND YOUR KEYS. Or your wallet, or your sunglasses. Whatever it is, get organized. There are some things that you always need before you walk out the door. So put them in the same spot every time you get home.

#5.) YOUR KIDS ARE DISORGANIZED. That almost goes without saying. But kids don't HAVE to be scatterbrained. Once you figure out where to keep YOUR stuff, teach them to do the same thing.

#6.) YOU HATE WORK SO MUCH, YOU POSTPONE SHOWING UP. If you hate your job so much that you can't stand being there an extra five or ten minutes a day, you should probably start looking for a new job. --Or figure out some way to make it more enjoyable. There's really no other solution. (Yahoo.com)

NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) During a routine traffic stop in Texas, a kitten wandered over and started climbing up the cop's leg. He tried pushing the kitten away with his foot, but it kept coming back and eventually climbed on top of his head. (--The cat starts climbing at :16 and climbs onto his head at 1:23.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_zRPWyATZw

(Search Terms: kitten climbs cop during traffic stop video)

#2.) This guy allegedly entered a beard competition and styled his beard into a bird cage that fits around his head . . . and it even has a working door. (--He walks out at :20.) http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924916

(Search Terms: beard cage with working beard door)

#3.) A new dominoes record was set in Holland last weekend. 4,491,863 dominoes were toppled . . . and it took an hour and a half! Here are some of the highlights. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul_FJl70s7Q

(Search Terms: domino world record 2009 video)

A COP IN ARKANSAS TASERED A 10-YEAR-OLD GIRL AFTER SHE KICKED HIM IN THE JUNK:

I think we can all agree that if you kick a cop in the GONADS, you're in store for a serious beat down. And you've earned it. But are there any exceptions?

For example, Dustin Bradshaw is a police officer in Ozark, Arkansas. Recently, he responded to a call from a woman named Kelly Hamlert who said her daughter, 10-year-old Kiara, was out of control. And when he showed up, Kiara was screaming and throwing a tantrum. --Dustin tried to calm Kiara down. At which point, she responded by kicking him in the JUNK. --So, as a last resort, Dustin pulled out his Taser and shocked Kiara.

It sounds bad, I know. But, for what it's worth, Dustin says he was all out of options . . . and it was actually Kelly who gave him the go-ahead to use the Taser on Kiara. --Either way, Kiara's father, a guy named Anthony Medlock, is NOT happy about what happened. He says, quote, "Ten years old and [they] shot electricity through her body, and I want to know how the heck in God's green earth can they get away with this . . .

"If you can't pick the kid up and take her to your car, [and] handcuff her, then I don't think you need to be an officer . . . I don't know what kind of policy it is. I don't think it's right." --Dustin's superiors say he won't be punished for Tasing Kiara. (KHBS News 40 - Fort Smith)

MORE THAN ONE IN FOUR AMERICANS SAY THEY'VE WORKED WITH SOMEONE WHO'S CAPABLE OF "MASS VIOLENCE":

According to a new Rasmussen poll, 26% of Americans say they've worked with someone they thought was capable of "mass violence."

And if you just count government employees, that figure skyrockets to 43%. (!!!) (Rasmussen Reports)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

RYAN SEACREST interviewed ROBERT PATTINSON at the "New Moon" premiere Monday night. But when he tried to ask a question about KRISTEN STEWART, one of Rob's handlers yanked him away.

Rob tried to be cool about it . . . but he still let himself be led away. (--Check out the video here . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEXMtBgI_U8

(--Speaking of Ryan . . . he was granted a permanent restraining order yesterday against Chidi Uzomah . . . the large, knife-wielding Army reservist who's been rather forcefully trying to meet him.)

"GQ" MAN OF THE YEAR CLINT EASTWOOD SAYS AMERICA IS BECOMING MORE JUVENILE:

CLINT EASTWOOD has been named one of "GQ" magazine's Men of the Year. Technically, he's their "Badass of the Year". And he's using the honor to complain about how all the young whippersnappers are ruining America. --He says, quote, "Everybody's so screwed up. It seems like our country's in kind of a morbid mood, because of the recession or whatever.

"We're becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War 2 and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." (--Just so you know, you can't question this and you can't argue with it, because Clint Eastwood said it. That's a law. It might even be in the Constitution.)

--The other Men of the Year of 2009 are:

--Barack Obama: Leader of the Year

--Chris Pine: Breakout of the Year

--Tom Brady: Comeback of the Year

--The stars of "The Hangover": Funny Men of the Year

DR. CONRAD MURRAY WANTS TO BE PAID BY AEG . . . FOR MEDICAL SERVICES RENDERED TO MICHAEL JACKSON . . . ???

If there's a Nobel Prize for GIANT GONADZ. . . then I nominate DR. CONRAD MURRAY for the honor. Check this out . . . --Murray is planning to sue AEG . . . the company that was producing MICHAEL JACKSON'S "This Is It" concerts.

He claims they still owe him $300,000. What for, you ask??? For the medical services he provided to Michael. (!!!!!!!!!!) --A publicist for Murray's attorney . . . (--That still cracks me up: The lawyer has a publicist. I'm surprised the publicist doesn't have a spokesman.) . . . says AEG hasn't paid Murray a dime yet.

RACHELLE LEFEVRE SKIPPED THE "NEW MOON" PREMIERE:

The Los Angeles premiere of "New Moon" went down Monday night, and all the stars were there. Except one of them. --RACHELLE LEFEVRE skipped the party . . . and with good reason.

Rachelle plays the vampire Victoria in "Twilight" and "New Moon". But back in July, she found out she was being REPLACED in the third flick, "Eclipse", by BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD. --It supposedly came down to a scheduling conflict . . . but Rachelle and the producers are each blaming each other for it.

Rachelle explained her absence on Twitter . . . blaming both the controversy and a SICK DOG. --She said, quote, "2 fans at the premiere: w/ Honey in hospital & being fired from 'Eclipse' tonight was just 2 emotional 4 me & I couldn't manage it. So sorry."

LADY GAGA'S NEW ALBUM IS STREAMING ONLINE:

LADY GAGA'S new disc, "The Fame Monster", doesn't come out until this coming MONDAY . . . but MTV is streaming it one week early. (--Here's the link . . .) http://www.mtv.com/music/the_leak/lady_gaga/the_fame_monster/


The Fame Monster" is a re-release of Gaga's debut album, "The Fame", with eight new songs. The new stuff will also be available on its own, as a separate EP.

--Also, the video for BEYONCÉ'S remixed version of "Video Phone" . . . which features Lady Gaga . . . has been released. (--You can check it out, here . . .) http://www.mtv.com/videos/beyonce/455581/video-phone-extended-remix.jhtml#id=1518071

IT'S ON!!! BETWEEN U2 AND IRELAND: (???)

For decades now, it has been common knowledge that Ireland loves U2 . . . and U2 loves Ireland. But it's been 30 years now, and BONO may be on Ireland's last nerve. --The Dublin City Council has fined the band and their concert promoter more than $55,000 . . . for exceeding the noise limit during three shows at an Irish park this year. --Supposedly, the fine was levied after local residents . . . other IRISH people . . . "complained" about the noise.

NOW YOU CAN BUY PERFUME THAT'S MADE FROM THE DNA OF DEAD CELEBRITIES:

Celebrity-branded fragrances are nothing new. BRITNEY SPEARS has her own perfume. So do LIZ TAYLOR and SARAH JESSICA PARKER, just to name a few.

But now, a company called Antiquity has taken celebrity-branded fragrances to a whole new level by releasing a line of colognes and perfumes that are made from DNA collected from the hair clippings of dead celebrities. (???)

--There's "Marilyn" created from the DNA of MARILYN MONROE.

--"Monarch" created from the DNA of KATHARINE HEPBURN.

--"Entrance" created from the DNA of JOAN CRAWFORD.

--"Blue Suede" created from the DNA of ELVIS PRESLEY.

--"IQ" created from the DNA of ALBERT EINSTEIN and . . .

--"M" created from the DNA of MICHAEL JACKSON.

(--You can buy this nonsense for $60 a bottle here . . .)

http://mydnafragrance.com/perfume/antiquity-by-my-dna-fragrance/

(Jezebel)

November 17, 2009

HERE ARE FIVE GIFTS TO *NOT* GIVE YOUR MAN THIS HOLIDAY SEASON:

Ladies . . . when you're doing your holiday shopping this year, you're going to have a lot of options. Which is why I'm begging you . . . on behalf of guys everywhere . . . to resist the urge to buy your man one of THESE five gifts . . .

#1.) Physique-enhancing shirts: In general, guys hate getting clothes as a gift. And the only thing worse is getting a shirt that's been designed to make him look like he's got six-pack abs. He'll never wear it. He's going to resent you. It'll be a total disaster. (--If you really want to let your guy down, you can get him one of these things here . . .)

http://international.equmen.com/index.htm

#2.) Bulge-enhancing underwear: I take that back. The only thing worse is getting him underwear that's designed to make his BULGE look bigger. You may as well just come out and tell the poor guy he's too small to ever satisfy you in bed. That's how he'll take it. (--And why would you give him bulge-enhancing underwear anyway? You're the only one that will see it, and you already know how small he is. Who are you trying to impress?)

(--You can pick up a pair of these things and ruin your man's Christmas, here . . .)

http://www.andrewchristianshop.com/

#3.) Self-help books: Are you trying to start an argument? Because if you get your man a self-help book, that's what you're going to end up with.

#4.) A sports-themed chip-and-dip bowl: A bowl that's shaped like a baseball mitt is a nice thing to have for when your guy invites his buddies over, right? Wrong. --Understand that if your guy uses this ridiculous thing in front of his friends, they'll never let him live it down.

#5.) Jewelry: The reason most guys don't wear jewelry is because they don't want to. But if you buy him something, he'll feel obligated to wear it. And so, I repeat: He doesn't want to wear jewelry. (Holidash)

(--I know what you're thinking . . . "If all those amazing gifts are off the table, what's left?" Well, ladies, I'm here to help you out with a few suggestions . . .)

(--Guys love tickets to sporting events and concerts. Why? Because they can get hammered and yell in public. That's part of the gift. But I don't mean one of those lame bands YOU like. I mean the sort of concert where he can get a T-shirt with a skull or a gun on it.)

(--Guys also love beer and red meat. I'm not sure what you can do with that, but I imagine you'll think of something.) (--Lastly . . . gadgets and technology. Your guy will never be disappointed if you get him something that enhances his TV-watching, music-listening, or pornography-downloading experience. Stereotypical? Yes. Untrue? No.)

THE AVERAGE FAMILY SPENDS NEARLY FOUR DAYS A YEAR ARGUING:

This study took place in the UK, but we see no reason why the results would be any different here . . . -According to a survey of 3,000 households, the average family fights three times a day, with the average fight lasting just over five minutes. That works out to roughly 91 hours of fighting every year . . . or nearly FOUR FULL DAYS. --So what is everybody fighting over?

#1.) Chores

#2.) Children treating the house like a hotel

#3.) Couples taking one another for granted and . . .

#4.) What to watch on TV (???)

--Overall, daughters are most likely to slam doors during a fight.

--Fathers are most likely to take a long drive to cool down.

--And mothers are most likely to shout and sulk. And listen to this . . .

--At the time of the survey, ONE in TEN families polled said they weren't currently on speaking terms with each other. (Daily Telegraph)

FOUR HINTS WOMEN DROP THAT MEN DON'T PICK UP ON:

You know how women tend to be more subtle? While most guys would rather be upfront and specific about things? Well, it pretty much explains how we've made it to the 21st century . . . and men and women STILL don't know how to communicate. --Just to prove my point, here are four subtle hints women drop, that guys don't pick up on.

#1.) LOOKING AT A GUY, THEN LOOKING AWAY. Women think it's a cute, subtle way of flirting. But guys tend to think it means the opposite. They think that if the woman was REALLY interested, she'd KEEP staring.

#2.) ACTING TIRED. This happens all the time. A couple is at a party, and the woman wants to leave. But instead of saying so, she starts acting tired. Then when the guy doesn't pick up on it, she gets angry or annoyed. --But as much as women hate it, guys are just clueless when it comes to stuff like this. And they're much more responsive if you say flat out, "I'm ready to go soon."

#3.) VARIOUS BREAK-UP LINGO. This one actually goes both ways. Men AND women have a tough time with subtle break-ups. So don't drop hints about it, just do it. Getting dumped hurts, but dragging out a relationship is worse.

#4.) FLIRTATIOUS TOUCHING. Touching a guy's arm or putting your hand on his back WILL let him know you're interested, but only if you keep doing it. Guys are more physical than women are on a daily basis, so touching him once won't do anything.

--But if you KEEP at it, he'll eventually realize what's up. (TheFrisky.com)

TWO ADULTS WERE HELD HOSTAGE IN THEIR APARTMENT BY AN OVERWEIGHT HOUSECAT:

I hate to come across as a mean-spirited jerk. But, really, how pathetic is THIS . . . --On Sunday, Animal Control officers in New York City came to the rescue of Rosa Davila and her son, 27-year-old Victor Marte, who were being held hostage in their apartment by a WILD ANIMAL. --And by "wild animal" I mean an overweight housecat named Carmen. Seriously.

According to Rosa, Carmen started acting strange a few months ago. And on Sunday, she finally snapped, jumping on Victor and clawing at his legs. --To escape Carmen's RAGE, Rosa and Victor holed up in a bedroom and called 911. A few minutes later, Animal Control showed up and corralled Carmen into a cage.

Rosa says, quote, "All of a sudden, Carmen got violent and started making strange noises . . . I yelled, 'Carmen! Calm down!' I wanted her to jump off, but then she started attacking my son. I was in shock. I was very scared for my son." (New York Post) (--Note to Rosa . . . you should be scared for your son. He's 27, he lives at home, and he can't defend himself against an obese housecat. Be VERY scared for Victor.)


HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

CHRIS BROWN SAYS HE HAS OPTIONS WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN . . . BECAUSE HE'S CHRIS BROWN:

CHRIS BROWN isn't really trying to get into another relationship at the moment . . . but he'd like you to know he COULD if he wanted to. --He told MTV News, quote, "My whole dating thing, I've been kinda chillin'. I mean, I'M CHRIS BROWN. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are gonna be around." --He adds, quote, "I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody. I've just kinda been working on me. Like I said, just really getting me straight."

(--Experience Chris Brown's humility for yourself at the following link . . .)

http://www.mtv.com/videos/news/456075/is-chris-brown-dating.jhtml

LEVI JOHNSTON IS *NOT* BE GOING THE FULL MONTY:

All this talk about LEVI JOHNSTON giving up the FULL MONTY in his Playgirl pictorial was CRAP. The spread is in the can, and Levi did NOT show us what he used to make SARAH PALIN a grandma. --A Playgirl rep says, quote, "He did not give 'full-frontal' as his manager Tank Jones reported he would. We're thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them.

"Although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity." (--There's no word when we'll get to see the pics.) --Meanwhile, Sarah's interview with OPRAH WINFREY aired yesterday . . . and Sarah said she finds Levi's foray into nude modeling, quote, "heartbreaking." (--She even referred to it as "PORN".) --Sarah also admitted that she didn't like the way the McCain campaign made her address her daughter BRISTOL'S pregnancy. She says, quote, "This is not to be glamorized. This is not to be emulated. --"I didn't want that message getting out there that we were giddy happy to become grandparents." (--Here's a clip from the interview . . .)

http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=9ee80b5d-a83d-4a9c-9a38-665f84f74325

RYAN O'NEAL GOT NOTHING IN FARRAH FAWCETT'S WILL:

RadarOnline claims to have gotten a hold of FARRAH FAWCETT'S will . . . and they say that Farrah left RYAN O'NEAL . . . NOTHING. --Farrah gave $4.5 million to their druggie son REDMOND, $500,000 to her father and another $500,000 to a nephew. She also gave $100,000 to a guy named Greg Lott. --You may have heard this guy's name before, because he's been blabbing to any media outlet that'll listen about being Farrah's SECRET LOVER.

Lott says he was in contact with Farrah ALMOST to the end. But O'Neal froze him out of her life last April . . . and banned him from her funeral. --The will also stated that Farrah wanted to die at home . . . saying that she, quote, "wishes to remain at home for as long as possible during any period of illness or incapacity and to die at home." --That didn't happen. Farrah died of the painful-sounding anal cancer at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica. (--As you probably recall, she died the same day as Michael Jackson . . . June 25th.)

WHEN SUSAN BOYLE WAS IN SCHOOL, SHE WAS BEATEN BY TEACHERS AND BULLIED BY CLASSMATES:

Everybody loves a good SUSAN BOYLE joke . . . but at some point, you have to feel a little bad for her. Especially when you hear what she went through in school. --Susan suffers from a mild learning disorder . . . and back when she was a kid, teachers didn't really know how to handle that. So they BEAT HER. --She says, quote, "You're looking at someone who would get the belt every day. 'Will you shut up, Susan!? . . . whack! --"I was often left behind at school because of one thing or another. I was a slow learner. I'm just a wee bit slower at picking things up than other people. So you get left behind in a system that just wants to rush on, you know?

--"There was discipline for the sake of discipline back then. But it's all very different now. I think teachers are taught to understand children with learning disabilities a lot better." --If that wasn't bad enough, Susan was also bullied by classmates. She says, quote, "There's nothing worse than another person having power over you by bullying you and you not knowing how to get rid of that thing."

"NEWSWEEK'S" 12 UNFUNNY COMICS:

"Newsweek" has put together a list of 12 Unfunny Comics. (--It's unclear whether or not the list is ranked. They are on numbered pages, but that may not mean anything. Anyway, we'll keep them in the order "Newsweek" has them.)

--Here's the list:

--LARRY THE CABLE GUY

--CARLOS MENCIA

--HOWIE MANDEL

--DANE COOK

--GALLAGHER

--ANDREW DICE CLAY

--EMO PHILLIPS

--JAY LENO

--Ventriloquist comedian JEFF DUNHAM

--PAULY SHORE

--CARROT TOP

--YAKOV SMIRNOFF

(--You can read their write-ups on each "comedian," here . . .)

http://www.newsweek.com/id/222503

(--On one hand, I agree with this list. Personally, I don't think any of these comedians can really make me laugh on a consistent basis.) (--That being said, did "Newsweek" put any real thought into this list???) (--Every comic on here is a "safe" pick . . . in that each of them gets called unfunny on at least a semi-regular basis. Where's the fun in that?)

SIMON COWELL HAS RESPONDED TO STING'S "X FACTOR" DIS:

If you haven't heard, STING recently dissed SIMON COWELL and his "American Idol"-type singing competition shows . . . specifically, Britain's "X Factor". --He said, quote, "['X Factor'] is a preposterous show . . . and you have judges who have no recognizable talent apart from self-promotion. Basically, [it's] televised karaoke where they conform to stereotypes.

"It is a soap opera which has nothing to do with music." --He added that he would be out of place on the show . . . because he's too unique. He said, quote, "I wouldn't get on 'X Factor' because I don't sound like anyone they're after. I sound like myself. --"I think they are basically aping pre-existing stereotypes of what singers should do and they're not being themselves."

Well, Simon responded on "X Factor" . . . saying, quote, "Talking about these contestants being a bunch of karaoke no-hopers . . . I thought it was pompous." --Later . . . at least partially joking . . . Simon invited Sting to come on the show as one of the celebrity "mentors", to get a first-hand look at the talent on the show.

November 16, 2009

FIVE WEIRD WAYS TO BEAT A COLD:

Everyone knows that if you're starting to feel sick, you should drink lots of liquids, overdose on vitamin C, and get plenty of rest. But there are also some WEIRDER ways to beat a cold. Here are five of them . . .

#1.) WALK FAST. New research shows that a brisk walk can help you beat a cold by boosting your immunity. But don't run. You'll get sick if you overexert yourself. And if you have anything more than a runny nose, it's best to just stay in bed.

#2.) BLOW YOUR NOSE THE RIGHT WAY. When you're stuffed up, blowing both nostrils at the same time can fill your sinuses with mucus and give you a sinus infection. So take a decongestant and only blow one nostril at a time. It'll keep your cold from getting worse.

#3.) USE A SAUNA. According to an Australian study, warm, moist air gives your body the same detoxifying benefits that drinking lots of liquids does. Researchers had one group of volunteers use saunas regularly for six months, while another group didn't use them at all. --And the people who DID use saunas got half as many colds as the people who didn't.

#4.) HAVE A HOT FRUIT DRINK. It might sound old-fashioned, but according to a 2008 study by a university in Britain, drinking a cup of hot apple cider or black currant juice can relieve a cough, sore throat, runny nose, and fatigue. --They're not sure yet if ANY hot drink works, but hot FRUITY drinks definitely do.

#5.) EAT PEPPERS. It's basically been proven that vitamin C reduces the length and severity of cold and flu symptoms. And pound for pound, red bell peppers have more vitamin C than most fruits and vegetables . . . including oranges. (Glamour Magazine)

TWO BURGLARS HEATED UP A BOTTLE FOR A CRYING BABY WHILE THEY WERE ROBBING A HOUSE:

And now, here it is . . . the most bizarre crime you'll hear about all week.

On Friday morning, two armed thieves forced their way into the home of 22-year-old Morgan Adams and his married friend, 43-year-old Ronnell Griffie of Indianapolis, Indiana. --Once they got inside, the robbers pistol-whipped Morgan, knocked him unconscious, and tied him up along with Ronnell, and Ronnell's 15-year-old son. But listen to this . . .

While the thieves were robbing the place, Ronnell's baby, Jaylin, started crying. So Ronnell asked the robbers if they would untie his teenage son, so that he could go feed the baby. --Not only did one of the thieves untie Ronnell's son, he actually stopped what he was doing to heat up Jaylin's bottle himself.

Ronnell says, quote, "First I thought we were dead. Then I thought, 'Okay, he's a nice guy, he even warms up a bottle for my child.' I don't know what to think of these gentlemen. I don't have the slightest clue what to think of them." --As of last night, the burglars still hadn't been arrested. (Indianapolis Star / WISH News 8 - Indianapolis)

NOW YOU CAN GO TO CHURCH OVER THE INTERNET:

If you're in need of spiritual fulfillment, but you're too sick or lazy to get off your butt and go to church in person, I've got good news for you .

--There's a website called LifeChurch.tv, which allows users to attend a VIRTUAL CHURCH SERVICE just by going online. --Now, obviously viewing a church service over the Internet isn't exactly the same as going to church in person, but it's pretty close. In fact, LifeChurch.tv allows visitors to actually take part in church services in three ways:

#1.) You can send in prayer requests over instant message.

#2.) You can share and discuss sermons in message board forums.

#3.) You can even click a link during worship to "raise your hand" and publicly commit to Christ (???)

--Craig Groeschel is the senior pastor at LifeChurch.tv. He says, quote, "We were blown away at how people could actually worship along.

--"The whole family will gather around the computer, and they'll sing and they'll worship together. Instead of trying to get people to come to a church, we feel like we can take a church to them." (CNN) (--You can link to the Life Church website here . . .)

http://www.lifechurch.tv/

HERE ARE SEVEN TRICKS TO HELP YOU GET THE TABLE YOU WANT AT ANY RESTAURANT:

How many times has this happened? You've got a big date and you want everything to be perfect. So you make a reservation at the best restaurant in town . . . only to be seated at the worst table in the whole place. --Now, you could make the best of the situation. But you don't have to. With that in mind, here are seven tricks from a website called TheFrisky.com that can help you get the table you want at just about any restaurant:

#1.) Be your own personal assistant: Instead of making the reservation for yourself, pretend you're your own personal assistant calling on behalf of "your boss." It'll make you seem important, which will cue the reservationist to give you a good table.

#2.) Be a regular: This isn't a "tip" so much as common sense. If you're a regular at a restaurant, your loyalty will probably be rewarded.

#3.) Bribe: If you've got some extra cash burning a hole in your pocket, it never hurts to slip the host a few bucks. But you should never attempt this move with less than $10, and you should never be obvious about what you're doing.

#4.) Be on time: Again, this one's a no-brainer. What you should really keep in mind is that if you're more than 15 minutes late at a really popular place, there's a good chance your reserved table will disappear.

#5.) Look sharp: Let's say there are two couples that both want a table at the front of the restaurant. One couple is dressed to the nines, while the other is wearing sweats. Which couple would you seat at the good table? I rest my case.

#6.) Say it's a special occasion: It's probably not the best idea to lie and say it's your birthday or anniversary if it's not. But it never hurts to tell the host it's a special night.

#7.) Send yourself champagne: Before you show up, call ahead and send your table a bottle of champagne or wine as if you're NOT one of the people actually attending the dinner. Why? --Because it will make you seem popular and influential, which restaurant managers love. The only catch is that when the bottle arrives, you have to act surprised . . . but not too surprised. Because, hey, this happens to you all the time, right? (CNN)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN HAVE NEW VIDEOS OUT:

RIHANNA has released the video for "Russian Roulette" . . . and it's dark. -There aren't any overt references to the CHRIS BROWN assault, but there are a few shots of a mysterious car . . . that at one point appears to run her over . . . and it's hard NOT to make a connection to what happened back in February. (--Watch it, here . . .) http://rihannanow.com/videos.htm

CHRIS BROWN has also released a video . . . it's for his song, "Crawl". It doesn't invite more references to RIHANNA than the lyrics already do, but it does co-star a woman with a Rihanna-like, partially shaved-head hairstyle.

(--You can check out Chris' video, here . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQvOp9H6wUA

-By the way, Chris also unleashed another song off his upcoming album, "Graffiti". It's called "Sing Like Me", and you can listen to it at his website. (--Here . . .) http://www.chrisbrownworld.com/news/%E2%80%9Csing-like-me%E2%80%9D

A FAN JUMPED ON STAGE DURING A JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT IN SPAIN:

Last week, the JONAS BROTHERS were performing a show in Madrid, when some nutcase ran up onstage. He jumped around . . . and then led the band's security team on a brief, yet AWESOMELY ZANY chase around the stage. --They eventually caught the guy and dragged him offstage. For the most part, the Jonas Brothers continued performing throughout all this. (--You can watch a fan-shot video at the link below. The dude comes onstage just after the 1:13 mark.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu8WLf4TM7s

(--This video's even funnier when you plug it into 'The Benny Hill-ifier,' and watch security chase this idiot while the Benny Hill music plays. Unfortunately, you can't fast forward to the chase scene, but it's still worth it. Check it out here . . .) http://james.nerdiphythesoul.com/bennyhillifier/?id=Iu8WLf4TM7s

DJ AM'S FAMILY NOW SAYS THE 2008 PLANE CRASH HE WAS INVOLVED IN CAUSED HIS DEATH:

We all know that ADAM GOLDSTEIN . . . the celebrity club jockey better known as DJ AM . . . died of an accidental drug overdose back in August. But now, his family says it's not his fault. -They're blaming several companies involved in the plane crash that almost killed Goldstein and BLINK-182 drummer TRAVIS BARKER back in September of 2008. --Those companies in question include Clay Lacy Aviation, Global Exec Aviation, Inter Travel and Services, Goodyear Tire and LearJet.

Before his death, Goldstein had sued all of them . . . as well as the estates of the two pilots . . . for negligence, among other things. --And now, his family has amended the lawsuit to include WRONGFUL DEATH. The suit now states that, quote, "The crash ultimately caused Adam Goldstein's death at a later date." --They say Goldstein was successfully recovering from drug addiction until the crash. Afterward, he was forced to start taking pills again to cope with the pain and anxiety.

OPPSS!!

On Friday night, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN and the E STREET BAND were performing in Detroit . . . but apparently, Bruce still thought they were in Ohio, where they had played earlier in the week. --Bruce mentioned Ohio three times . . . and on the last time, guitarist STEVE VAN ZANDT had to remind him they were actually in Michigan. (--Here's video of Bruce's last slip, where he immediately corrects himself . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW-x2kUSX00

UFC CHAMP BROCK LESNAR IS SERIOUSLY ILL:

UFC heavyweight champion . . . (--and former WWE superstar) . . . BROCK LESNAR has been hospitalized with some kind of serious illness. --Lesnar had already been forced to back out of a title fight this coming Saturday due to mono . . . but now UFC President DANA WHITE says that Lesnar has some other kind of problem on top of that, and it's really bad. --He says, quote, "He's in a hospital up in North Dakota somewhere right now. He went to Canada and some bad stuff happened to him, so we've got to figure it out.

"He doesn't want to talk about it publicly, but he's in bad shape. He's not well and he's not going to be getting well anytime soon." --White knows what the problem is, but he's not saying. But he did reveal that it's NOT cancer or AIDS . . . as some Internet rumors have suggested. --He said, quote, "I am worried about it. You know, I can't really talk about it right now, but he's in rough shape. He's in really bad shape . . . and we're going to have to do some stuff to take care of this guy. He is not well and he's not getting any better.

"We're going to have to send him to the Mayo Clinic or to Scripps, or one of those really good hospitals to figure out what's wrong with this guy." (--As for the heavyweight title, White says there'll have to be an interim title fight at some point.)

KEVIN FEDERLINE APPEARS IN THE NEW "AMERICAN PIE" MOVIE:

You probably had no idea, but they're still making those "American Pie" movies. And EUGENE LEVY is still shamelessly collecting paychecks for appearing in them. --But this time, some other recognizable names are shamelessly collecting paychecks, too . . . including KEVIN FEDERLINE.

He's among a group of so-called "stars" making cameos in "American Pie Presents: The Book Of Love" . . . which rockets straight to DVD on December 22nd. --Others include Poison singer Bret Michaels, Rosanna Arquette, Christopher "Peter Brady" Knight and C. Thomas Howell . . . --Plus DUSTIN "SCREECH" DIAMOND and CURTIS ARMSTRONG . . . who played Booger in the "Revenge of the Nerds" movies. (--Obviously, this movie's going to suck. But if you're interested, here's the trailer . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3fTa1A4JYY

JON GOSSELIN WILL APPEAR ON THE SERIES FINALE OF "JON AND KATE PLUS EIGHT" NEXT WEEK:

TLC will wrap up "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" next Monday night. --According to the "New York Post", the episode will feature JON and KATE GOSSELIN sitting down to discuss, quote, "what the future holds for them and their eight children." It's unclear when the footage featuring Jon was shot.

There will also be a montage . . . with clips pulled from the show's five-season run. --The "Post" also says TLC has scrapped plans for a spin-off called "Kate Plus Eight" . . . at least as a regular series. However, they may air "occasional specials" under that title at some point in the future. --Instead, they are working on a new show with Kate, but there aren't any details on what the show will be about . . . or if it'll feature her kids. --It's probably a good bet that TLC won't finalize any future plans with Kate . . . or any "Kate Plus Eight" specials . . . until their legal mess with Jon is sorted out.

The following Monday, November 30th, TLC will replace "Jon and Kate" with one of their other popular shows . . . "Cake Boss". (--That show's second season kicked off three weeks ago. It's been averaging 2 million viewers per episode.)

JON GOSSELIN HAS COUNTERSUED TLC FOR $5 MILLION:

JON GOSSELIN has filed a countersuit against TLC . . . for $5 million . . . on the grounds that the network still owes him money, and that they've tarnished his image. --Last month, TLC sued Jon for breach of contract . . . not for blocking production on "Jon and Kate Plus Eight", but for doing all kinds of TV interviews without their consent. TLC claims that this violates an exclusivity clause in their contract with Jon. --But Jon says that TLC breached their contract with him . . . and he claims they owe him $175,000.

In the lawsuit, Jon argues that TLC contacted networks that Jon was trying to work with . . . to persuade them not to do anything with him. --He also claims that he didn't have an attorney present when he signed his contract with TLC . . . and that the network has, quote, "harmed his reputation." --Part of the lawsuit reads, quote, "Because of the enormous Media interest . . . and public interest, it makes it impossible to carry on normal daily activities, let alone find, secure and maintain a job with an employer who is willing to be exposed to the daily media intrusions that has impeded my life." --A hearing in the case has been set for December 14th.