NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF (12-04-09)

THREE SECRET SERVICE AGENTS WERE PUT ON LEAVE FOR THE WHITE HOUSE GATE-CRASHING INCIDENT:

Last week, a couple of attention-seeking meatballs named Tareq and Michaele Salahi crashed a White House State Dinner in honor of India's Prime Minister. Now, three Secret Service agents have been put on leave for allowing it to happen.

According to the head of the Secret Service . . . a guy named Mark Sullivan . . . the security breach was caused by, quote, "human error" alone. And if the agents had carried out the proper security protocols, quote, "we would not run into this situation." --Sullivan then pointed out that, contrary to popular belief, PRESIDENT OBAMA has NOT received an extraordinary number of threats against his life.

In fact, he's received no more death threats than either PRESIDENT BUSH or PRESIDENT CLINTON had at this point in their presidencies. (My Way News)


AN ARMED ROBBER APOLOGIZED AND REPAID A CONVENIENCE STORE OWNER WHO GAVE HIM $40 AND A LOAF OF BREAD LAST MAY:

Last May, a man carrying a baseball bat walked into the Shirley Express deli on Long Island, New York, and told the owner, 47-year-old Mohammad Sohail, to empty the cash register. --Instead, Mohammad pulled out a gun and made the robber get on his knees.

But the robber begged Mohammad not to kill him, and explained that he was broke, and needed the money to feed his family. So Mohammad, in a moment of pure selflessness, gave the guy $40 and a loaf of bread. Then he sent him on his way.

Fast forward to last week when Mohammad received a letter in the mail, containing a $50 bill. --The letter read, quote, "First of all, I would like to say I am sorry. At the time I had [no] money, no food on the table, no job and nothing for my family . . . When you had that gun to my head, I was 100% [sure] that I was going to die . . .

"Now I have a new child and good job. Make good money, staying out of trouble and taking care of my family. You gave me forty dollars. Thank you for sparing my life. Because of that you change my life."--The robber also told Mohammad he's converted to Islam, and the letter was signed "Your Muslim Brother."

How did Mohammad respond to the letter? He says, quote, "I really feel great. Thank God he's doing good. When you do good things for somebody, it comes back to you. I gave him $40 and he sent me back $50. It was a good investment." (New York Post)


WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR CAT HOME ALONE, IT SPENDS 22% OF ITS TIME STARING OUT THE WINDOW:

Have you ever wondered how your cat spends its time when you leave it home alone? Of course you have, because you love your cat. Well, lucky for you, you're about to find out. -Recently, an animal behavioral scientist named Jill Villarreal outfitted 50 housecats with "collar cameras" that took a photo every 15 minutes.

From the photos, Jill was able to determine that when you leave your cat home alone, it spends 22% of its time staring out the window . . . --12% of its time playing with your other pets . . .--8% of its time climbing on furniture . . .--6% of its time sleeping . . . another 6% watching TV or your computer screen . . . and another 6% is spent hiding under tables.--It also spends 5% of its time playing with toys. --And 4% of its time is spent eating or looking at food.--It's still unclear exactly how your cat spends the other 31% of its time. (Yahoo News)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (12-04-09)

THE TIGER WOODS INCIDENT

RACHEL UCHITEL CALLED OFF HER PRESS CONFERENCE YESTERDAY . . . DID TIGER WOODS PAY HER TO DO IT???

RACHEL UCHITEL and her attorney, GLORIA ALLRED, called off their press conference yesterday. And rumor has it that a $1 million offer from TIGER WOODS might have something to do with her silence.

Tiger's people and Rachel's people reportedly spent several hours negotiating by phone Wednesday night before striking a deal. The press conference was called off yesterday morning.

There was also . . . (--allegedly) . . . communication between the two sides last week, before Tiger's now-infamous vehicular malfunction. At the time, they hatched the plan for Rachel to DENY the affair.

(--A lot of people think she was going to ditch that plan and come clean about the affair at yesterday's press conference.)

The word is that Rachel has her own collection of texts and voicemails from Tiger . . . And she's looking to score a big payday by selling them to the media. --Unless, of course, Tiger can outbid them.

The official reason for ditching the press conference was, quote, "unforeseen circumstances." Asked about a financial settlement, Allred refused to comment.

MORE DETAILS ON THE PRENUP:

We have more details . . . or should I say ALLEGED details??? . . . on the state of TIGER WOODS and ELIN NORDEGREN'S prenuptial agreement.

What we heard yesterday was that the existing agreement gives Elin $20 million if she and Tiger stay together for 10 years. But the new agreement would give Elin MORE money and allow her to leave sooner.

What we're hearing now is that Elin only has to stay SEVEN years from the original date of the prenup, in order to collect her $20 million. --That means she can ditch him two years from right now and bank that cash. Then, in addition to being hot AND Swedish, she'll also be insanely wealthy.

But there's even more money in it for her if she stays longer. The amount goes up incrementally, to the point where if she stays with Tiger for another SEVEN years from now, she can pocket $75 MILLION.

Oh, and we're also hearing that the big, seven-figure lump sum Tiger dumped into Elin's bank account earlier this week was $5 million.


CHRIS BROWN IS DEVASTATED THAT WE'RE NOT TAKING HIS APOLOGIES SERIOUSLY:

CHRIS BROWN'S interview with ABC's ROBIN ROBERTS airs tonight on "20/20". But we've got a preview of it right here . . . --The first thing you should probably know is that Chris is DEVASTATED that we're not taking his many apologies seriously. Even though he KIND OF understands why.

He says, quote, "I think what it is when people see me smiling and kind of nonchalantly giving answers or saying things, it's I'm human. Really, I'm like really hurting inside and it really kind of is like devastating to me." --Not surprisingly, Chris apologized AGAIN for assaulting RIHANNA. He said, quote, "I was wrong for what I did. It's not something I look over. I'm really sorry for what went down and what happened."

And, once again, he stressed that the attack was completely out of character for him . . . quote, "I never ever had problems with anger. No, no domestic violence with any of my past girlfriends. I never was that kind of person. --"I look at it, and it's really, like really difficult. It's like, 'How could I be that person?'"

(--Check out a clip from the interview here . . .)http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b156259_chris_brown_really_kind_of_like.html


CHECK OUT "ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY'S" BEST OF THE DECADE LISTS:

"Entertainment Weekly" has dropped all of its "Best of the Decade" lists. Below you'll find the #1 pick in each category, followed by a link to the full list . . .

MOVIES:

The "Lord of the Rings" trilogy

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20321301_20324027,00.html

ALBUMS: "The College Dropout", Kanye West

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20321301_20324189,00.html

TV SHOWS: "The Sopranos"

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20321301_20324062,00.html

BOOKS: "The Road", Cormac McCarthy (--Viggo Mortensen and Charlize Theron star in the movie adaptation, which just hits theaters in limited release.)http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20324272,00.html

CELEBRITY SCANDALS OF THE DECADE:

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20321301_20320484,00.html

ENTERTAINERS OF THE DECADE:

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20321301_20324236,00.html

HOTTIES OF THE DECADE:

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20321301_20320312,00.html

COMEBACKS AND CAREER COLLAPSES OF THE DECADE:

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20321301_20320164,00.html


STEVEN SEAGAL IS A CABLE SENSATION!!!

STEVEN SEAGAL is back . . . and as usual, it's with a vengeance!!! --The series premiere of his new A&E show, "Steven Seagal: Lawman", set a new ratings record for the network. An average of 3.5 million people tuned in for the first two episodes, which aired back-to-back beginning at 10:00 P.M. on Wednesday night. --That was enough to make it the most-watched original series debut on A&E.

If you don't know, the show features Seagal as Deputy Sheriff in Louisiana. In addition to his work in the field, he also trains his fellow officers in martial arts . . . naturally . . . the proper use of weapons . . . and hand-to-hand combat. (--Hell yeah!)

(--You can watch clips and ENTIRE episodes at A&E's website, here . . .)http://www.aetv.com/steven-seagal-lawman/

"Lawman" is actually billed as a NON-FICTION reality show . . . although it's hard to say whether that makes the concept more or less awesome. --According to A&E, Seagal has been working as "a fully commissioned deputy with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office" for almost 20 years. (--We heard that when the show was first announced, but it still amazing to consider . . . as is Seagal himself!!!)


THE 10 MOST-WATCHED TV EPISODES OF THE DECADE:

The "Hollywood Reporter" has put together a list of Top 10 Most-Watched TV Episodes of the Decade. (--The list doesn't include "duplicate titles" . . . meaning that it only features one episode, the highest-rated one, from each series.)

--Here's the list . . . along with the number of viewers and the airdate:
#1.) "Friends", 52.5 million (Series finale, May 6th, 2004)#2.) "Survivor: Borneo", 51.7 million (First season finale, August 23rd, 2000)#3.) "Joe Millionaire", 40 million (First season finale, February 17th, 2004) (--Really, America???)#4.) "ER", 39.4 million (February 17th, 2000) (--Noah Wyle and Kellie Martin's characters were both on the brink of death after being stabbed by a psycho patient. Noah's character survived. Kellie's did not.)#5.) "American Idol", 38.1 million (Sixth season premiere, January 16th, 2007)#6.) "Grey's Anatomy", 38 million (Post-Super Bowl episode, February 5th, 2006)#7.) "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire", 36 million (May 3rd, 2000)#8.) "Frasier", 33.7 million (Seventh season finale, May 18th, 2000)#9.) "Everybody Loves Raymond", 32.9 million (Series finale, May 16th, 2005)#10.) "Spin City", 32.8 million (Michael J. Fox's final episode, May 24th, 2000)(--You can find brief write-ups and, in some cases, videos from the episodes, here . . .)
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3i70088a26615e879a5897d303a348a7ec?pn=1


OPPSS!!

On "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" yesterday, JENNIFER LOPEZ explained the spill she took onstage while performing at the "American Music Awards". (--The fall was edited out of the West Coast feed. Here's the video . . .)http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/22/jlo-falls-video-amas_n_367094.html

She said, quote, "I have a bruised bone. One of the dancers' backs was slippery from sweat and lights and everything. When I stepped on their backs my feet got wet. So when I landed, it just slipped from under me."

NAZZY'S RELATIONSHIP ADIVCE

THE SIX WORST WAYS TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE:

Breaking up with someone is never easy. But some methods are worse than others. A website called YourTango.com came up with a list of the six worst ways to break up with someone. And you've probably done at least one of them . . .

#1.) OVER FACEBOOK. Yes, this really happens. Instead of breaking up face-to-face or picking up the phone, people just change their relationship status on Facebook. But what they don't realize is, sometimes a little confrontation is necessary.

#2.) IN PUBLIC. Have you ever broken up with someone at a restaurant? People do it because they think the other person won't make a scene in a public place. But that's NOT usually what happens . . . and when the person DOES start freaking out, you'll regret it.

#3.) IN A POST-IT NOTE. Writing something THAT important on a Post-It note or a piece of scrap paper is completely unacceptable. If you're a "Sex and the City" fan, then you might remember when Berger did it to Carrie . . . and it wasn't good.

#4.) EVAPORATING. Guys tend to do this more than women. They figure that if they cut off all contact and stop answering the phone, the problem will go away on its own. But even writing it on a Post-It note is more considerate.

#5.) MAKING THE OTHER PERSON MISERABLE. Some people get so nervous about breaking up, they don't do it at all. Instead, they complain, neglect, and cheat until the other person does it for them. -The sad thing is, it usually works. But a lot of pain and stress goes with it.

#6.) HAVING SOMEONE ELSE DO IT FOR YOU. Once you've graduated from middle school, you need to start dealing with your own problems. (YourTango.com)

SIX TIPS FOR GUYS WHO COME ON TOO STRONG:

If you're consistently being rejected by women, it may be your approach . . . not you . . . that's the problem. Here are six tips to help you fine-tune your pickup technique:

#1.) PAY ATTENTION TO HER SIGNALS. Look for signals . . . like short, curt responses, arms crossed, lack of eye contact . . . to let you know whether she's interested. If she makes it clear she's NOT interested, no amount of attention will make her change her mind.

#2.) BOUNCE THE SITUATION OFF FRIENDS. The people who know you best will be the first to notice when you're sliding off the rails, and will have no problem being brutally honest with you. So if you're on the fence about whether a woman is into you, ask your friends.

#3.) BE PATIENT. Slow, gentle persistence over a matter of months . . . like sending a casual but funny email or text every couple of weeks . . . is always better than bombarding her with attention.

#4.) KEEP IT SIMPLE. If you must be persistent, do it in a tasteful, understated way . . . think a small bouquet of flowers rather than a shout-out on the Jumbotron at a game.

#5.) ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU'RE REALLY AFTER. Are you pursuing her because you feel like you guys might have some genuine chemistry, or are you just piqued because she's playing hard-to-get?

#6.) BE PREPARED TO MOVE ON. If she's not feeling you . . . even after you've been out a few times . . . it's best to just cut your losses and move on. (Happen Magazine)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF (12-03-09)

THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE HAS ADDED PETA TO ITS LIST OF TERRORIST ORGANIZATIONS:

PETA is one of the most controversial activist groups out there, and they're always pulling attention-grabbing stunts. But are they a TERRORIST GROUP? Probably not.

Just don't tell that to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, which has added PETA to its list of terrorist organizations.

Recently, the USDA released a new security form, which it distributed to animal experimentation facilities all across the country. --One of the questions on the form is, quote, "What terrorist activities have occurred in or around your building (slash) facility in the past five years?"

Then it gives two possible options:

#1.) Attack from international terrorists, and . . .

#2.) Attack from domestic special interest terrorists --Under the heading of "domestic special interest terrorists," the form lists off the names of several groups . . . including PETA.-In other words, in the eyes of the federal government, PETA is a terrorist organization. (Tree Hugger)


NOW YOU CAN RENT A CHRISTMAS TREE FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON:

You've replaced all your old light bulbs with the energy-efficient kind, you drive a hybrid and, of course, you recycle. But if you buy a new Christmas tree every year, you're still not doing enough to save the planet.

Fortunately, now there are companies that actually allow customers to RENT Christmas trees for the holiday season. --All you have to do is order your tree online, and it'll be delivered to your home. Then, once Christmas is over, the tree will be picked up and replanted in either the woods or in a nursery where it will be cared for until next Christmas.

And if you really like your particular Christmas tree, one company in Canada called Evergrow Christmas Trees will even allow you to rent the same tree year after year. --And you get all of this for just a $100 rental fee. (--You can learn more about Christmas tree rentals and . . . if you live in the correct region . . . you can even rent one, here . . .)
http://www.carbonsync.ca/

http://evergrowchristmastrees.ca/

http://www.livingchristmastrees.org/(Yahoo News)


SILLY VIDEO OF THE DAY

Before being pronounced "man and wife," this bride and groom stopped the wedding to update their relationship status on Facebook.

(--He pulls out his cell phone at :16.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSkT5XykJzo(Search Terms: wedding Twittering Facebooking at the altar video)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (12-03-09)

THE TIGER WOODS INCIDENT

AND NOW . . . AUDIO OF THE TEXT THAT MAY HAVE STARTED IT ALL:

Rachel Uchitel is old news. It's sounding more and more like JAIMEE GRUBBS is the woman at the bottom of all TIGER WOODS' Thanksgiving weekend woes.

Jaimee is the one Tiger left a voicemail for just two days before Thanksgiving . . . saying that his wife, ELIN NORDEGREN, may have found out about them. --And now, we have the actual audio of that voicemail message.

In it, Tiger says, quote, "Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. --"So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye."

(--Here's the audio . . .) http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/1202_tiger.mp3

The obvious question now is . . . Did Elin call Jaimee's phone??? We don't have a clear answer to that one yet. --TMZ claims she did. They say Jaimee had been bragging to her co-workers . . . (--At a place called the Stone Rose Lounge in West Hollywood) . . . about the voicemail, and even played it for them.

She also supposedly told them she received a call from a blocked number. When she asked who the caller was, a woman's voice said, quote, "You know who this is because you're (effing) my husband."

But Jaimee herself says that never happened. She tells "Us Weekly", quote, "Elin has never called me as far as I know. I did get a call from an unknown number last Tuesday, the same day as Tiger left me a message, but I never picked up." --She also says she hasn't heard from Tiger or anyone in his camp since the story broke last weekend. (--In case you care, E! Online says that in addition to waitressing, Jaimee also works at a medicinal marijuana dispensary.)

TIGER WOODS HAS NOW APOLOGIZED FOR HIS "TRANSGRESSIONS":

TIGER WOODS issued another statement yesterday . . . and this time, he came a little closer to admitting that he's been cheeting.

He didn't cop to anything specifically, but he did refer to his, quote, "transgressions" and his "personal failings" --He said, quote, "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect.

"I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone." --Then he went off on the tabloids for harassing him and his family . . . and for making stuff up.

And, once again, he bent over backwards to shower praise on his wife, ELIN NORDEGREN. He said, quote, "Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect."

Don't expect Tiger to make a MEDIA APOLOGY TOUR. He made it pretty clear in his statement that he's said all he intends to say about this chaos. --He said, quote, "The virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one's own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions."

He finished things off with a promise to do better, and one last apology . . . quote, "I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology." (--You can read the whole thing here . . . )http://web.tigerwoods.com/news/article/200912027740572/news/

TIGER WOODS HAS ALREADY PAID HIS FINE:

TIGER WOODS will not be fighting his $164 careless driving ticket. In fact, he paid it Tuesday . . . the same day it was issued. So we assume he'll be getting four points on his license. --Meanwhile, the Florida Highway Patrol issued an official report on the crash yesterday, detailing all the damages Tiger racked up by "carelessly driving" early last Friday morning.

For starters, Tiger did $8,000 worth of damage to his Escalade. Damage to the fire hydrant he ran down came to $3,000. But he only took a $200 chunk out of the tree he smashed into. --He also did $100 damage to some shrubbery.


INTRODUCING: AFFAIR #3:

There's now a THIRD woman who allegedly had an affair with TIGER WOODS. --Our new contestant is KALIKA MOQUIN. She's a marketing manager for a Las Vegas nightclub called The Bank.

"Life & Style Weekly" says she's known Tiger for a few years, but has only hooked up with him a few times. The last time was the weekend of October 23rd, at his hotel room in Vegas. --Kalika herself isn't copping to it. When reached for comment she said, quote, "It's not appropriate for me to comment one way or the other. At this time, I'm just choosing to focus on my job." --But a so-called "source" says, quote, "They've hooked up a bunch of times. Tiger told Kalika that married life isn't all it's built up to be. He said he wasn't happy in his marriage or his home life and that there was just so much pressure on him."


CHECK OUT MOVIECLIPS.COM!!!

This is seriously cool: There's a new site called MovieClips.com . . . and it's pretty much what it sounds like: A place where you can watch two-minute clips from various movies. And when I say "various" movies, I mean more than 12,000. So far. The site has agreements with SIX of the major studios: Fox, MGM, Paramount, Sony, Universal and Warner Brothers . . . so a lot of ground is covered here.

It's all free . . . (--Ad supported, of course) . . . and you can search for clips by title, genre, actor and dialogue. (--Check it out, but be warned: You WILL get sucked into this chaos and end up spending way more time with it than you should . . .) http://movieclips.com/


AND NOW . . . ABC HAS CANCELLED ADAM LAMBERT'S PLANNED PERFORMANCE ON "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!":

It sure seems like ABC may be holding a grudge against ADAM LAMBERT for putting them on the spot with his risqué performance at the "American Music Awards". --Last week, they dropped him from "Good Morning America" . . . and now they've cancelled Adam's planned outdoor performance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!". He was supposed to appear on the December 17th episode.

Officially, ABC isn't giving a reason for axing Adam . . . a network spokesman merely said, quote, "We decided not to move forward with the booking at this time." But it's not hard to put two-and-two together here. --Adam's rep tells "Entertainment Weekly", that he will be performing on "The Jay Leno Show" instead, on December 21st. (--NBC has not confirmed that yet.)


LADY GAGA DOESN'T WANT SEXY PICTURES OF HERSELF ON HER ALBUM COVERS:

Whether you're buying into it or not, LADY GAGA is all about "performance art" . . . so it's not surprising that her album covers feature bizarre pictures of herself. But one thing she doesn't want those pictures to be is SEXY.

And that's gotten her in trouble with her label, Interscope. --She says, quote, "My album covers are not sexual at all, which was an issue at my record label. I fought for months, and I cried at meetings. They didn't think the photos were commercial enough.

"The last thing a young woman needs is another picture of a sexy pop star writhing in sand, covered in grease, touching herself." (--You can criticize her "act" all you want, but that's a pretty awesome stance to take. Props, definitely.)

WORK FRIENDS

THE FIVE FRIENDS YOU NEED TO HAVE AT WORK:

You spend most of your time at work, so you should start making friends there, if you haven't already. Research shows that having friends at work boosts your morale by 50%. You don't have to be friends with EVERYONE, but here are the five friends you NEED to have.

#1.) THE I.T. MANAGER. When your computer freezes up or your emails disappear, the IT guy is the only person you can turn to. So even if you wouldn't hang out with him on the weekends, make sure you're buddies from 9 to 5.

#2.) THE VETERAN. Chances are there's someone at work who's been there longer than you. They know all the right people, and can help you climb the ladder. --Just be careful which "Veteran" you pick. Not all of them are willing to help you out. So buddy up to the one who's been the nicest to you so far.

#3.) SOMEONE IN A DIFFERENT DEPARTMENT. At some point, everyone needs to vent about their job. But it's better if you complain to someone you DON'T work with all day. That way, there's less chance your boss will find out.

#4.) THE OFFICE MANAGER. Someone has to stock the stock room and plan company outings. But most people don't talk to the office manager until they need something. Which is why YOU should. That way, when you DO need something, you'll probably get it.

#5.) A REAL FRIEND. You need someone who's willing to cover for you when you show up late. And the best person for the job is someone you really ARE friends with. And unlike your other office 'friends,' this is someone you'll probably want to hang with outside of work.

Having a genuine friend in the office can come in handy, but it can also reduce stress and make the grind a little more bearable. (Yahoo.com)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF (12-02-09)

FUNNY VIDEO'S

Here's a funny music video called "Man vs. Toddler." Not surprisingly, "Man" wins at everything.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ5DfWN3fWU(Search Terms: Man vs. Toddler baratsandbereta.com)

2009 VIDEO REMIX

A DJ edited the year's top news stories into this music video. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xbch0s_that-really-happened-2009-dj-steve_fun(Search Terms: That Really Happened 2009 DJ Steve Porter Remix)


A GUY IN TEXAS ASSAULTED HIS SISTER WITH A HOT PECAN PIE DURING THANKSGIVING DINNER:

You might think your Thanksgiving dinner was a miserable disaster. But there's a woman in Texas who would like you your wrong!!! That's because on Thanksgiving, an unidentified 23-year-old woman got into an argument with her 26-year-old brother while they were at their parents' house in Algoa, Texas.

It's unclear what the argument was about, or why it escalated so quickly. --But what we do know is that the brother got so upset with his sister that he took a piece of PECAN PIE that had just been microwaved, and shoved it in her face.

The pie was so hot that it caused his sister to suffer first- and second-degree burns to her face and neck. --Long story short, the brother has been charged with assault. And even though the sister has asked that the case be dropped, Texas law requires prosecution in cases of family violence. (KPRC News 2 - Houston)


SOME MORON TRIED TO ROB A WENDY'S RESTAURANT WHILE HIS MOM WAS WORKING THERE:

Now it's time to recognize our Meatball Criminals of the Day . . . 27-year-old Jason Zacchi and 22-year-old Amanda Yost of Dearborn Heights, Michigan. On Saturday, Jason and Amanda were at the drive-thru window of a local Wendy's restaurant when Jason pulled out a sawed-off shotgun and told the cashier to hand over the money. There was just one problem . . . --Jason's mother is a manager at the Wendy's he was attempting to rob. And she was actually working at the time of the robbery.

Apparently, Jason thought he could disguise his identity by covering his face with a bandana. But his mother recognized him anyway and turned him in to the police.

Jason and Amanda were arraigned on Monday. Amanda's bond was set at $50,000, and Jason's was set at $100,000.(WDIV News 4 - Detroit)


AN ITALIAN POLICE OFFICER TOTALED A $250,000 LAMBORGHINI PATROL CAR:

Recently, police officers in Bologna, Italy, were given two Lamborghinis worth $250,000 each. The cars were meant to help them keep up with people who speed while driving sports cars.

Well, last week an officer was driving one of the Lamborghinis when another car suddenly pulled out in front of him. The officer swerved to avoid a collision, and instead plowed into a row of parked cars TOTALING the Lamborghini. (Daily Mail)


IS IT BETTER TO CUT YOUR SANDWICH INTO RECTANGLES OR TRIANGLES?

Right now, the U.S. is mired in a two-front war, nearly ONE in TEN Americans are unemployed, and even though they have an overwhelming advantage in Congress, those useless Democrats still can't get anything done.

Fortunately, the people over at NPR refuse to be swayed from asking the tough questions impacting all of our lives . . . like whether it's better to cut your sandwich into rectangles or triangles.

No, I'm not joking. And, according to an informal survey of so-called experts, the "best" way to cut your sandwich is DIAGONALLY. Why?

#1.) A diagonal cut exposes more of the sandwich's insides, which makes your first bite more delicious.

#2.) A three-sided shape is more aesthetically pleasing than a four-sided shape. And if you prop one half of your triangle sandwich up against the other, it gives the plate a vertical dimension that a rectangle sandwich just can't compete with.

#3.) The narrow corner of a triangle sandwich makes it slightly easier to eat.#4.) And a diagonal cut creates a long, crustless side for each half, which increases the total crust-free surface area of your sandwich. (NPR)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (12-02-09)

J-LO'S EX-HUSBAND DOESN'T HAVE A SEX VIDEO OF HER:

Just to make this clear once and for all: J-LO'S first ex-husband, OJANI NOA, does NOT have any video of her having sex.

We all know by now that Noa is trying to make a mockumentary film about his life with Jennifer Lopez. And he has 11-plus hours of home movie footage he was hoping to incorporate into it . . . including HONEYMOON footage.

Noa has hinted that some of the footage might be a little racy . . . and there's been a lot of speculation as to the SEXUAL nature of it. But Noa himself has said there's NO SEX in the footage.

Yesterday, Noa and J-Lo's attorneys attended a court hearing, at which a judge upheld an earlier ruling that Noa CAN'T use that footage. --Outside the courthouse, one of J-Lo's lawyers reiterated that Noa's footage is clean. He said, quote, "There wasn't anything close to sex in it. We never alleged that. But it's still private and personal to my client."

He added, quote, "[The tapes are] innocent and they have been misrepresented . . . to increase value and media attention."

Meanwhile, Noa told reporters, quote, "They're trying to stop me from making my documentary and I'm fighting for my rights. They're not being fair." --Noa says he'll take the matter to trial.

Then there's also the matter of a $10 million breach of contract suit J-Lo filed against him. --Noa signed a confidentiality agreement back in 2002 barring him from blabbing about their relationship. But he claims that since the movie is a PARODY, it's not covered by the agreement.


TIGER WOODS IS GETTING A TICKET FOR CARELESS DRIVING:

After all the insanity, TIGER WOODS is getting a ticket for careless driving . . . which carries a possible $164 fine and four points on his license. (--That's if he doesn't fight it and just pays the ticket . . . or if he DOES fight it and is found guilty.)

And that's the end of things. Legally, anyway. --During a brief press conference yesterday, a spokeswoman for the Florida Highway Patrol said that Tiger was at fault for crashing into a fire hydrant and a tree early Friday morning . . . because he didn't drive in a, quote, "careful and prudent manner."

There will be no criminal charges for either Tiger or his wife, ELIN NORDEGREN, and the case is officially CLOSED.

As for the domestic violence allegations stemming from the rumor that Elin scratched up Tiger's face, the spokeswoman said, quote, "There was insufficient evidence available to issue a subpoena for additional medical information that may exist."

Tiger was never required to talk to police. All he had to do was give them his license, registration and proof of insurance . . . which he did this past Sunday.(--You can watch the FHP spokeswoman's press conference here . . .)http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b155904_tiger_out_of_woods_crash_gets_wrist.html


CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO SIMULATION OF TIGER WOODS GETTING SLAPPED BY HIS WIFE:

We'll never really know what went on between TIGER WOODS and ELIN NORDEGREN right before Tiger crashed his car last Friday morning. But that didn't stop some Chinese news organization from MAKING IT UP.

Check out this Chinese news report . . . featuring a computer-generated recreation of the events . . . including Tiger being SLAPPED by Elin . . .and Elin chasing down his SUV with a golf club.

(--Despite the domestic abuse subtext, it's actually quite hilarious . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i5FlC1MpkE

TWILIGHT NEWS

"Variety" and E! Online are both reporting that "Breaking Dawn" . . . the fourth and final installment in the "Twilight" series . . . will be split into TWO movies. --"Breaking Dawn" is tentatively schedules for a 2011 release. The third installment, "Eclipse", hits theaters next June.


RAMBO IS BACK!

We heard recently that in the fifth "Rambo" flick, SYLVESTER STALLONE would be fighting ALIENS. Now there's word that Stallone has ditched that idea, and he's going with a more standard, Rambo-like plot.

The new plan is for Rambo to tackle, quote, "the brutality [faced by] women and children caught in the drug wars in Mexico."


BARBARA WALTERS FINDS KATE GOSSELIN FASCINATING:

We know two more people that will be featured on BARBARA WALTERS' annual "10 Most Fascinating People of 2009" special next Wednesday.

They are: KATE GOSSELIN, who can't quit talking about how she's sad that "Jon & Kate Plus Eight" had to end . . . and BRETT FAVRE, who can't quit the NFL.

The previously revealed "fascinating people" are: Adam Lambert, Lady GaGa, Sarah Palin, Tyler Perry, Glenn Beck, and Jenny Sanford, the estranged wife of adulterous South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford.


ADAM LAMBERT USED TO WEIGH 250 POUNDS:

In a recent interview ADAM LAMBERT said that he suffered from a, quote, "ugly duckling complex" when he was younger. Part of that had to do with his weight.

He said, quote, "When I was in high school I was 250 pounds . . . and that creates some stuff, some body image stuff, some confidence issues, and I got a lot of my confidences from validation I got as a performer."(--You can watch that portion of the interview, here . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiPEzPUjYKo


PEAS ON TOUR

The BLACK EYED PEAS have unveiled the dates for a spring North American tour. It kicks off in Atlanta on February 4th . . . and runs through an April 11th gig in Vancouver.

(--You can get all the dates by scrolling down, here . . .)http://www.blackeyedpeas.com/home/news/789434

WHAT MEN NOTICE WHEN THEY MEET A WOMAN

THE SIX THINGS MEN NOTICE WHEN THEY MEET A WOMAN:

There isn't ONE feature that all men are attracted to. But according to "Cosmopolitan" magazine, there ARE a few that consistently catch their eye. According to "Cosmo", these are the six things men notice within the first six seconds of meeting a woman . . .

#1.) HER SMILE. Is it genuine, or does it seem forced? According to Cosmo, guys notice. And if she's got something in her teeth, they'll DEFINITELY notice.

#2.) HER HAIR. Guys don't care about split ends. They only care about two things. One, does it look SOFT? And two, does it look like it would SMELL GOOD?

#3.) HER CLEAVAGE. Duh. Ladies . . . when you decide to show a little skin, rest assured that every man in the room is well aware.

#4.) HER SKIN. Women obsess over minor blemishes, but chances are, guys wouldn't notice them anyway. But what they DO notice is when a woman looks bright orange from too many fake tans.

#5.) HER MAKE-UP. "Cosmo" says guys notice it, but only if it's caked on. Guys don't like it when a woman wears too much make-up because it seems like she's trying to hide something.

#6.) HER PURSE. Yes, according to "Cosmo", men DO notice them. But that's not necessarily a GOOD thing. A lot of men see a fancy, expensive purse and assume that the girl who's attached to it is high-maintenance. (Cosmopolitan.com)

5 GOLDEN RINGS COST HOW MUCH??

THE ITEMS IN "THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS" WOULD COST MORE THAN $87,000:

Every year, a financial services group called PNC Wealth Management compiles the Christmas Price Index, which calculates how much it would cost to buy every gift mentioned in the holiday carol "The Twelve Days of Christmas".

According to this year's index, it would cost $21,465 to buy each gift mentioned in the song just once. But if you bought each gift every time it's repeated in the song, it would cost you a grand total of $87,403.

Anyway, here's a breakdown of their cost analysis . . .

--Twelve Drummers Drumming: $206.26 each . . . or $2,475.20 overall

--Eleven Pipers Piping: $207.70 each . . . or $2,284.80 overall

--Ten Lords-a-Leaping: $441.36 each . . . or $4,413.61 overall

--Nine Ladies Dancing: $608.11 each . . . or $5,473.07 overall

--Eight Maids-a-Milking: $7.25 each . . . or $58 overall

--Seven Swans-a-Swimming: $750 each . . . or $5,250 overall

--Six Geese-a-Laying: $25 each . . . or $150 overall

--Five Golden Rings: $99.99 each . . . or $499.95 overall

--Four Calling Birds: $149.99 each . . . or $599.96 overall

--Three French Hens: $15 each . . . or $45 overall

--Two Turtle Doves: $27.99 each . . . or $55.98 overall

--And a Partridge in a Pear Tree: $159.99

Overall, this year's Christmas Price Index is up just $794 from last year. That's an increase of less than 1%, which is the smallest annual increase since 2002.(--You can get more details about the list here . . .) http://www.pncchristmaspriceindex.com (Yahoo News)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF (12-01-09)

A GUY IN NEW ZEALAND LET HIS SON DROWN SO HE COULD SAVE HIS WIFE'S LIFE:

If your wife and your kid were both drowning, but you could only save ONE of them . . . which one would you choose? The reason I ask is because recently, a guy from New Zealand named Stacy Horton was faced with that exact decision. And he chose to save his wife, 35-year-old Vanessa, instead of their son, 13-year-old Silva. So what happened?

On Saturday night, Vanessa was driving with Silva and his friend when she lost control of the car, and plunged into a river. --Stacy, who was following behind them, showed up at the crash scene about two minutes later. That's when he heard Vanessa calling for help, and saw the car sinking with Silva trapped inside. So Stacy ran down to the river and dove in.

He says, quote, "I tried to get down and get him but I couldn't. It was just too deep. And Vanessa was going under. I made a call to pull my wife to safety. I looked back and I could see the taillights but it was too far and I couldn't get him . . .

"Instead of going down and risking my life as well as my wife and son's, I chose to take Vanessa back and sat on the shore praying. It was all I could do." --That's right . . . Stacy let his son die in order to save his wife. On Sunday, divers recovered Silva's body from the bottom of the river. (AOL News)


HERE ARE SEVEN WAYS TO SPEND LESS ON GAS:

You could probably use a little extra cash for the holidays, right? Well, here are seven ways to save money on something you use every day: Gas.

#1.) DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Go to FuelEconomy.gov. It helps you find the cheapest gas in your area. Just make sure it's not too far out of the way. If you have to drive ten miles to get there, obviously it's not worth it.

#2.) DON'T BUY NAME BRAND. Some gas stations claim to have higher quality gas than others. And that USED to be true. Gas that has additives and detergents IS better for your car. But now ALL gas has to have detergents in it. It's required by law.

Name brand gas has MORE detergents it, but it doesn't make much of a difference.

#3.) GO LOW-OCTANE. High-octane gas costs twenty cents more, and most cars don't need it. If you have an SUV or a sports car, you MIGHT need more octane, but most cars don't. To know for sure, check your owner's manual.

#4.) TURN THE NOZZLE UPSIDE DOWN. You don't actually get all the gas you pay for. Some of it runs back down the hose unless you turn the nozzle upside down after the pump stops. It might only be a few ounces, but hey . . . you paid for it.

#5.) CHECK YOUR TIRE PRESSURE. If it's too low or too high, it affects your gas mileage. So check your tire pressure every few weeks, and make sure it's right on.

#6.) GO THE SPEED LIMIT. Your engine has to work harder if you speed, which wastes gas. Plus, people who speed have to have their brakes replaced more often.

#7.) CLEAN OUT YOUR TRUNK. Any extra weight in your car reduces your mileage. So if you're hauling your golf clubs around, it's costing you money. (AskMen.com)


NINE TIPS FOR MEETING SOMEONE ON FACEBOOK:

If you want to widen your dating pool, but you don't feel like signing up for an online dating service, you should consider meeting someone through Facebook. Here are 10 tips to help you do just that:

#1.) HAVE A GOOD PROFILE PICTURE. That means no photos of you doing a keg stand, any photo where you're visibly drunk, or a picture of you surrounded by Hooters girls.

Your ideal photo should be casual and spontaneous, instead of something posed. And it's okay for you to change your default picture fairly frequently.

#2.) SHAPE YOUR IMAGE. On Facebook, your profile is your first impression. Keep things simple and uncluttered by not posting tons of silly quizzes, boxes, or games.

Also, consider removing anything from your page that could be considered offensive, or make you look like a tool. If your buddies write rude or stupid comments all over your wall, potential dates are going to be immediately turned off.

#3.) BE INTERESTING. People who constantly update their Facebook profile are annoying. But a strategically-timed status message or photo album can help your cause if it makes you seem more interesting . . . like if you're going somewhere cool for a vacation.

#4.) JOIN FAN PAGES AND INTEREST GROUPS. Joining a couple fan and group pages will help expand your dating pool . . . and it increases your chance of finding someone who actually enjoys your favorite teams, movies or comedians.

An added bonus to joining groups is that they might organize events where you can meet people, and maybe even ask someone out in person.

#5.) BROWSE YOUR FRIENDS' FRIENDS. A Harvard study recently found that 70% of time spent on Facebook involves looking at other people's profiles. So scroll through your friends' friend lists and see if anyone catches your eye.

#6.) LOOK FOR RELATIONSHIP STATUSES. Most people include a relationship status in their profile. As a general rule, you should avoid anyone who DOESN'T list their status.

Anyone who has "it's complicated" or doesn't list a status might have baggage . . . or a crazy ex. At the same time, you've got to follow this rule in your own profile and list yourself as single, and looking for a date or relationship.

#7.) ASK ABOUT THEIR STATUS UPDATES. If the person you're interested in posts a status update saying they had a bad day, consider sending them a private message and asking what's up.

Or, if they post a cool link, tell them it was interesting. Just don't do it too often . . . you'll seem like a stalker checking on their every move.

#8.) POST ON THEIR PAGE INFREQUENTLY. You obviously want to show interest, but most people can sense desperation from a mile away. An occasional post on their wall in fine, but the less you post on their page, the better, since you want them to know you have a life outside of Facebook. It'll also show that they're special enough to communicate with privately, and not on their page for everyone to see.

#9.) USE THE CHAT FEATURE. If you want to get more one-on-one with someone, instant message them when they're online. That way, you get an immediate response instead of waiting for them to reply to a message that may take days to open. (Ask Men)


ONE IN EVERY FIVE MARRIAGES WORLDWIDE IS BETWEEN FIRST COUSINS:

For some reason, the "New York Times" ran an article last week about FIRST COUSIN MARRIAGE. Personally, I suspect it was intended to make your Thanksgiving dinner even more awkward than it usually is. At least that's what it did for me. But I digress . . .

Anyway, the article mentioned a website called CousinCouples.com, which is full of stats and other "useful" information for anyone thinking about marrying a blood relative.

Here are some statistical gems that we found particularly entertaining: --It's LEGAL to marry your first cousin in Canada, Mexico and every European country . . . plus 26 U.S. states. --Studies have found that children of non-related couples have a 2% to 3% risk of birth defects. For children of first cousins, the risk is higher at 4% to 6%. --It's estimated that ONE in every 1,000 marriages in the U.S. is between cousins. That sounds like a lot until you consider that worldwide, it's estimated ONE in every FIVE marriages is between first cousins.

ALBERT EINSTEIN and CHARLES DARWIN both married their first cousins. And FRANKLIN and ELEANOR ROOSEVELT were also cousins, though distantly. --And if you ever marry your cousin, it's hip to refer to the guy as your "cusband." Or so I've read. (???) (New York Times) (--You can get more information about cousin marriage here. . .) http://cousincouples.com/


THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT SPENT TWO YEARS AND $411,000 TO DETERMINE THAT BOWLING IS DANGEROUS:

Sometimes, it feels as though our elected officials have cornered the market on wasteful government spending. But it turns out European officials are just as skilled at flushing money down the toilet as OUR lawmakers. Here's what I'm talking about . . .

After spending two years and $411,000, a study by Britain's Health and Safety Executive has concluded that BOWLING ALLEYS can be "very dangerous" for families. How so?

#1.) It's too easy for kids and teens to run down lanes, which could cause them to get trapped inside the machinery that sets up the pins. And . . .

#2.) The noise created by the ball hitting the pins can cause bowling alley employees to suffer hearing loss.

In other words, the British government spent nearly half a million dollars to "discover" that bowling alleys are loud, and there are no safety features in place to prevent people from running down the lanes. (Daily Mail)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (12-01-09)

HERE ARE THE TOP WEB SEARCHES OF 2009 . . . ACCORDING TO BING.COM:

All I really know about Bing.com is that they want to become the most popular search engine in the world. And also that they have really annoying commercials.

I don't know how popular they've managed to become. But one way they're emulating their competitors is by putting out a year-end list of the most-searched items. Not surprisingly, MICHAEL JACKSON tops it. Here's the list . . .

#1.) MICHAEL JACKSON#2.) Twitter#3.) Swine Flu#4.) Stock Market#5.) FARRAH FAWCETT#6.) PATRICK SWAYZE#7.) Cash for Clunkers#8.) JON AND KATE GOSSELIN#9.) BILLY MAYS#10.) JAYCEE DUGARD


TIGER WOODS HAS BACKED OUT OF HIS ANNUAL TOURNAMENT:

TIGER WOODS has backed out of the Chevron World Challenge . . . a golf tournament in Thousand Oaks, California that benefits his Tiger Woods Foundation. He cited, quote, "injuries sustained in a one-car accident."

Tiger was expected to host a press conference today, then play in the four-day tournament . . . which begins on Thursday. He issued a statement saying, quote, "I am extremely disappointed that I will not be at my tournament this week. I am certain it will be an outstanding event and I'm very sorry that I can't be there."

Tiger also said he wouldn't be playing any more tournaments this year. (--Of course, there's only a month left in the year, anyway.) --This is actually the second year in a row Tiger is missing the tournament. Last year he was recovering from knee surgery. --The tournament plans to replace him with a Top 50 golfer . . . but they're also offering refunds to those who want them.

GILLETTE AND NIKE ARE STANDING BY TIGER WOODS:

Whatever happened at TIGER WOODS' home over Thanksgiving weekend, it isn't affecting his relationship with two of his major sponsors. Both Gillette and Nike stepped up and offered their support yesterday.

Nike said, quote, "Tiger and his family have Nike's full support. We respect Tiger's request for privacy and our thoughts are with Tiger and his family at this time." --And Gillette issued a statement saying . . . well . . . that they don't need to issue a statement.

They said, quote, "Gillette isn't issuing a statement on the subject. We feel that Tiger's statement speaks for itself." --AT&T, on the other hand, refused to comment when asked if Tiger's endorsement deal with them would be affected by the weekend's events.


SERENA WILLIAMS HAS BEEN FINED $82,500 FOR THREATENING A U.S. OPEN JUDGE:

SERENA WILLIAMS has been fined $82,500 for threatening a judge at the U.S. Open back in September. That's a record. -The previous high fine for a Grand Slam offense was $43,756 . . . which was handed to Jeff Tarango at Wimbledon in 1995, after he stormed off the court and accused the umpire of favoring his opponent.

In addition to her fine, Serena has been placed on two years' probation. If she commits another, quote, "major offense" during a Grand Slam event in 2010 or 2011, the fine increases to $175,000, and she'll be banned from the following U.S. Open.

Serena issued a statement through her publicist yesterday, saying, quote, "I am thankful that we now have closure on the incident and we can all move forward. --"I am back in training in preparation for next season and I continue to be grateful for all of the support from my fans and the tennis community."

For those of you who somehow don't remember, Serena got IRATE when the line judge called a foot-fault on her during the semifinal match with KIM CLIJSTERS. --Serena then approached the judge with a ball in her hand, and threatened to, quote, "shove it down your (effing) throat."

A decision was made to penalize Serena for that . . . which cost her the match.

(--Here's video of the whole incident, including the aftermath . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-VxYvfwVas

(--And here's a quick clip of Serena's initial outburst, which is thankfully bleeped . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO_jlXjgxN8

(--By the way: There's no clear definition of what constitutes a "major offense". Under Grand Slam rules, it's described as, quote, "aggravated behavior" or "conduct detrimental to the game.")


MOVIES YOU CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:

An "Entertainment Weekly" columnist recently had people e-mail in the movies they can watch OVER AND OVER AGAIN. There were some pretty good ones, like "Princess Bride", "Goodfellas", "Silence of the Lambs", "The Goonies" and "The Shawshank Redemption". (--There were 17 in all. You can check 'em out here . . .)http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20323150,00.html

LADY GAGA took a spill onstage during a performance in Canada over the weekend. She quickly recovered and continued on. (--It happens after the 0:15 mark at the link below. There's an UNEDITED F-BOMB at the 1:23 mark.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQr6PJkx3E0


NICK JONAS' side project, NICK JONAS & THE ADMINISTRATION, will release their debut album, "Who I Am", on February 2nd. --They will also be touring throughout January. The first concert will go down in Dallas on January 2nd . . . and shows are booked through January 30th in Berkeley, California.

(--For all the dates, go to this address and scroll down . . .)https://tickets.jonasbrothersfanclub.com/index-old.php

HOW TO BE A BETTER DRIVER

FIVE WAYS TO INSTANTLY BE A BETTER DRIVER:

I don't have to tell you that there are a lot of bad drivers out there. You're probably surrounded by them right now. But making sure YOU aren't one of them is the best way to avoid an accident. So here are five ways to instantly be a better driver . . .

#1.) REMEMBER: NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE. Driving is the most-dangerous thing most of us do on a daily basis. So it's amazing how easy it is to get a license. Always assume that the guy in front of you is about to do something stupid.

#2.) DON'T TAILGATE. You're supposed to be at least three seconds behind the car in front of you. In other words, wait for the car in front of you to pass a road sign, then count how many seconds it takes for you to get there.

It should be three seconds on a normal day, and at least four seconds if the roads are wet. If you're going 65 miles per hour, it's about 400 feet. In other words, technically, we're all tailgating, all the time, and it's dangerous.

#3.) ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEATBELT. 77 percent of accidents happen within 15 miles of home. And if you don't wear your seatbelt, you aren't just putting YOUR life at risk. You're endangering your passengers too.

If your car flips over, and you're not wearing a seatbelt, you'll get thrown around the inside of the car like a rag doll. So no one is COMPLETELY safe unless every single passenger is buckled in.

#4.) ALWAYS USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL. 57 percent of drivers don't use it regularly. They

think they're such amazing drivers, they don't have to. But the turn signal isn't for YOU, it's for everyone else on the road. --So before you zip in and out of lanes like a NASCAR driver, give us a heads-up.

#5.) DON'T MAKE OTHER DRIVERS ANGRY. You don't know what they're capable of. According to one survey, 34 percent of people say they honk at aggressive drivers, 27 percent yell, 19 percent flip them off, and 7 percent mimic the bad driving.

All of that makes the roads more dangerous. But it can get a lot worse. Two percent of drivers admit they've tried to run another car off the road. (Wise Brother Media)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (11-30-09)

THE TIGER WOODS INCIDENT

DID TIGER WOODS' WIFE ATTACK HIM WITH A GOLF CLUB BECAUSE HE SUPPOSEDLY CHEATED ON HER???

By now, you've probably heard at least SOMETHING about the "TIGER WOODS incident" that went down over the weekend. Well, we're going to try to give you the background, plus all the latest details, as clearly and concisely as possible.

Here we go . . .

On Friday morning, just before 2:30 A.M., Tiger pulled his Cadillac Escalade out of his driveway in a gated community near Orlando, Florida . . . and ran into a fire hydrant, and then a tree. --Now, initial reports claimed that Tiger's wife, ELIN NORDEGREN, heard the commotion, ran outside and saw the accident.

She saw that Tiger was trapped in the vehicle, so she grabbed a golf club and smashed out one of the SUV's back windows in order to free him. --A neighbor called 911, and when police and EMTs responded, they found Tiger lying on the road, lapsing in and out of consciousness. He had some facial lacerations and blood in his mouth.

The injuries weren't too serious, though. Tiger was hospitalized, but released shortly thereafter. --It would appear, however, that Elin's part in this drama wasn't quite so innocent or heroic. At least that's according to the bottom-feeders at TMZ.

They say that Tiger was trying to peel out of his house because he was arguing with Elin over a "National Enquirer" story that claims he CHEATED on her. And it was Elin who scratched up his face.

Then, when he got into the Escalade and tried to leave, she grabbed the golf club and started swinging at it, busting out at least one of the windows before he could get away. --Alcohol was reportedly NOT a factor, but Tiger may have been taking prescription painkillers.

If this story is NOT true . . . Tiger and Elin aren't helping to clear things up. Police have been trying to interview Tiger since Friday, but he has refused to meet with them on THREE occasions.

When cops showed up Friday, Elin greeted them at the door and told them Tiger was sleeping. They agreed to come back on Saturday. But on Saturday, Tiger's agent told police that Tiger would once again NOT be available.

A meeting was set up for 3:00 P.M. yesterday . . . but when police showed up, Tiger's attorney turned them away. But this time, he at least gave them Tiger's driver's license, registration and proof of insurance.

A police spokesman says, quote, "The crash investigation is ongoing and charges are pending." --The speculation is that Tiger is dodging the police until his wounds heal . . . because he doesn't want them to find out it was actually Elin, and not the accident, that caused them. Because then, Elin could be charged with DOMESTIC ABUSE.

But TMZ reports that police are going to thwart Tiger's alleged stall tactic by getting a search warrant for his medical records from the hospital that treated him that night. (--Tiger is supposed to host the Chevron World Challenge, beginning this Thursday in Thousand Oaks, California. And his duties include appearing at a press conference TOMORROW. There's no word yet if he's backing out.)

TIGER WOODS' OFFICIAL STATEMENT:

TIGER WOODS isn't talking to police, but he did issue a statement. And that statement is very protective of his wife, ELIN NORDEGREN. Here's the whole thing . . .

He said, quote, "As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I'm pretty sore. --"This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again.

"This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

-"The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.

"This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. --"But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be."

TIGER WOODS' ALLEGED MISTRESS DENIES THE AFFAIR:

The woman who ALLEGEDLY caused TIGER WOODS' wife to ALLEGEDLY scratch up his face and attack his SUV with a golf club denies that she ever had an affair with Tiger. --That woman's name is RACHEL UCHITEL. She works as an event planner (slash) nightclub hostess in New York City . . . and you may remember her from her alleged affair with another married man.

The tabloids recently had her dating "Bones" star DAVID BOREANAZ . . . while his wife was pregnant. --Well, Rachel is denying the Tiger Woods affair. She says, quote, "I don't appreciate my name or what people think of me being dragged through the mud by people who don't even bother to research what or who they're talking about.

"They should research who these stories are coming from, who they're believing as a credible source. Not to mention that it's in the 'National Enquirer'. --"I totally deny the 'Enquirer' story. They did contact me about it, but they didn't use any of my quotes or any of the information I gave them."

And here's Tiger's ALLEGED mistress, Rachel Uchitel . . .

REESE WITHERSPOON AND JAKE GYLLENHAAL MAY HAVE BROKEN UP:

"People" magazine had been saying that REESE WITHERSPOON and JAKE GYLLENHAAL have broken up. But they got their info from a, quote, "source close to the actress."

Well, that "source" apparently wasn't as close to Reese as "People" thought it was. Both of their reps say it's not true, and Reese and Jake are still together.


JENNIFER ANISTON AND ORLANDO BLOOM ARE NOT DATING:

JENNIFER ANISTON and ORLANDO BLOOM were on the same flight from Los Angeles to Morocco . . . with a stopover in London. That led some websites to jump the gun and suggest the two of them are together.

It's not true. Jennifer and Orlando were among SEVERAL celebrities who spent Thanksgiving in Morocco for the grand reopening of some luxury hotel there. --They were joined by Gwyneth Paltrow, Adrien Brody, Salma Hayek and Orlando's GIRLFRIEND, MIRANDA KERR.


MILEY CYRUS SAYS ZAC EFRON IS THE HOTTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD:

MILEY CYRUS may be dating her latest co-star, LIAM HEMSWORTH . . . but he's NOT the top man on her hotness scale. --She says quote, "I think ZAC EFRON is the hottest person in the world. I really, really like him. It's weird because he's my friend . . . I could call him and be like, whatever."

Oh, and Miley is also taking her criticism of "Twilight" to a new level . . . by calling it a CULT. She says, quote, "I think it's bad. People get too into it. --"When guys look at supermodels and they're like 'that's the perfect girl' that's what those kind of movies do to us. You know what I'm saying?

"They're like thinking that's what girls should be like and not everyone is going to be Edward . . . (--that's Robert Pattinson's character) . . . hate to say it."

CBS IS EXPLAINING WHY THEY CENSORED ADAM LAMBERT'S "AMA" KISS ON "THE EARLY SHOW" . . . SORT OF:

Last week, ABC decided to cancel ADAM LAMBERT'S "Good Morning America" performance . . . due to his sexually-charged performance at the "American Music Awards" the previous Sunday.

But he was quickly tapped to be a guest on "The Early Show". So you would THINK that CBS was cool with his in-your-face homosexuality.

But it turns out their tolerance had limits. --When Adam did the show last Wednesday, CBS showed clips from his "AMA" performance, but they BLURRED-OUT the man-on-man kiss between Adam and his allegedly straight male keyboardist.

But moments later, the "Early Show" played an UNEDITED clip of MADONNA kissing BRITNEY SPEARS at the 2003 "MTV Video Music Awards". (--You can watch it at the link below. The edited kiss happens at the 1:00 mark.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhw67uEx5wg

Well, CBS has now issued a statement on WHY they censored one same-sex kiss and not the other . . . but it isn't much of an explanation. --They said, quote, "We gave this some real thought. The Madonna image is very familiar and has appeared countless times including many times on morning television. --"The Adam Lambert image is a subject of great current controversy, has not been nearly as widely disseminated, and for all we know, may still lead to legal consequences." (--Wow. Is that the lamest excuse you've ever heard or what???) -

Naturally, GLAAD . . . the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation . . . isn't happy. President Jarrett Barrios said, quote, "[It's] an unfortunate double standard that is applied to openly gay performers. --"I would have hoped that CBS would provide the same treatment for images of gay and lesbian people and not create an unfair double standard that treats our community differently."

In his "Early Show" interview, Adam basically just reiterated his previous statements. He talked about how he got a little carried away . . . and how he understood how some people might be offended. But he doesn't believe he owes anyone an apology. --He also performed a couple songs, but there was nothing controversial this time. In fact, he even joked beforehand, quote, "Parents, this is appropriate, I promise."

ADAM LAMBERT'S "FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT" VIDEO:

ADAM LAMBERT has released the video for the title track off his new album, "For Your Entertainment". The theme is similar to Adam's performance at the "American Music Awards" . . . but it's a lot less risqué. There are no "controversial" kisses --You can watch it at Adam's official website, here . . . http://www.adamofficial.com/us/videos


TAYLOR LAUTNER WILL HOST "SNL" NEXT MONTH:

"Saturday Night Live" has released their schedule for next month . . . and it includes 17-year-old "New Moon" stud TAYLOR LAUTNER. He'll host the December 12th episode, which will also feature RIHANNA as the musical guest.

This coming Saturday, "Gossip Girl" minx BLAKE LIVELY will make her hosting debut. BON JOVI will be the musical guest. --On December 19th, JAMES FRANCO will host "SNL" for the second time . . . and MUSE will be the musical guest.


COULD SUSAN BOYLE END UP WITH THE BIGGEST ALBUM DEBUT OF THE YEAR . . . IN AMERICA???

Apparently, SUSAN BOYLE is not only a British sensation. According to "Billboard", there's a decent chance her album, "I Dreamed a Dream", could end up with the highest-selling debut week of the year.

In order to do that, she'd have to outsell EMINEM. His "comeback" album, "Relapse", sold 608,000 copies during its first week in stores back in May. --The early estimates predict that Susan's disc will sell between 550,000 and 700,000 copies in the U.S.

Here's the line on a few other new albums: ADAM LAMBERT is on pace to sell about 225,000 copies of "For Your Entertainment" . . . and LADY GAGA should sell over 200,000 copies of her new EP, "The Fame Monster". --There's no word on where RIHANNA fits into all this, but "Billboard" describes her album, "Rated R", as, quote, "underperforming expectations."


KRIS ALLEN'S ALBUM HAS DEBUTED WITH THE WORST SALES NUMBERS OF ANY "AMERICAN IDOL" WINNER:

KRIS ALLEN'S self-titled album debuted at #11 on the Billboard 200 last week . . . selling just 80,000 copies. --That was the worst first week of any "American Idol" winner . . . by far. The previous low was set two years ago, when JORDIN SPARKS moved just 119,000 copies of her debut album in its first week. It came in at #10.

FANTASIA BARRINO now holds the third-worst opening. In 2004, her debut album, "Free Yourself", sold 240,000 copies and came in at #8. --Last year, DAVID COOK'S self-titled album landed at #3, selling 279,000 copies in its first week. (--ADAM LAMBERT is on pace to come in second in the sales week that ended yesterday. His debut, "For Your Entertainment", is expected to sell around 225,000 copies . . . which is projected to put him behind only SUSAN BOYLE.) (--Her album, "I Dreamed a Dream", may sell over 500,000 copies.)


LADY GAGA ALWAYS CONSIDERED HERSELF A "FREAK":

LADY GAGA was on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" last Friday, and she told Ellen that her weirdness isn't an act . . . it's something she does to make her freaky fans feel better about themselves.

She said, quote, "I didn't fit in in high school, and I felt like a freak. So I like to create this atmosphere for my fans where they feel like they have a freak in me to hang out with, and they don't feel alone.

"I want to create a space for my fans where they can feel free, and they can celebrate . . . I want my fans to know that it's OK. Sometimes in life you don't always feel like a winner, but that doesn't mean you're not a winner."

IT'S OFFICIAL: THE WHO *ARE* SUPER BOWL BOUND:

There has been talk that THE WHO would be performing the Super Bowl halftime show on February 7th . . . and now, the NFL has finally confirmed it. --There are no further details yet. (--The Who will release a Greatest Hits album on December 21st.)

ARE YOU MEANT FOR EACH OTHER?

TEN SIGNS YOU'RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER:

Even if you've been with someone for a while, you might still be wondering if they're "THE ONE." It's hard to know for sure, but here are ten signs that you might be meant for each other . . .

#1.) YOU TELL EACH OTHER SECRETS. Sharing intimate details about yourself is a big part of a successful relationship. And being able to truly trust someone else with those details is even more important.

#2.) YOU CAN BE VULNERABLE AROUND EACH OTHER. If something's going to go long-term, then you're going to be together on the good days AND the bad days. And if someone can make your bad days better, that's a good sign.

#3.) YOU RESPECT EACH OTHER. If you spend enough time with someone, eventually they're going to irritate you. But when you respect someone, you won't want to change who they are. And they'll have qualities that you wish YOU had too.

#4.) YOU BOTH WANT TO MEET THE PARENTS. This one's obvious. If you're excited to show someone off, it means you think your parents will like them too.

#5.) YOU'RE NOT AFRAID TO DISAGREE. When you can disagree without getting in an argument, it shows that you're comfortable being yourself. And that you know the other person will take your opinions seriously.

#6.) YOU MAKE EACH OTHER LAUGH. If you can crack each other up every now and then, it will REALLY help you through tough times.

#7.) SILENCE ISN'T AWKWARD. If the TV's off, there's no music on, and there's really nothing to talk about . . . it STILL shouldn't be awkward. You should feel completely comfortable no matter what.

#8.) YOU'RE STILL ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER. If you've been together with someone a while and you still catch yourself staring, it means there's a genuine physical chemistry.

#9.) YOU'RE NOT TOO JEALOUS. Let's be clear. A LITTLE jealousy can be a good thing. But not too much. If you trust someone else enough to let them have a sense of independence, staying together for a long time won't be so difficult.

#10.) YOU FEEL LIKE YOU MAKE EACH OTHER BETTER PEOPLE. It might be true, it might not be. But just FEELING that way is important. --If being with someone else makes you feel like a smarter, funnier, more-attractive version of yourself, why would you ever leave? (YourTango.com)