SPRING FLING

FIVE SPRING DATE IDEAS:

#1.) THE ZOO. Hit the zoo, or take a romantic stroll through a botanical garden. Either way, it's cheap, it leaves a lot of room for conversation, and it allows you to take advantage of the warmer temperatures. And what girl doesn't like cute furry animals?

#2.) TAKE YOUR OWN "SPRING BREAK". Just because you're not in college anymore, doesn't mean you can't have your own spring break. Take advantage of the cheap airfares being offered right now and head to the beach for a weekend.

#3.) THE FARMER'S MARKET. The spring season will bring tons of fresh produce to your local farmer's market. Spend the afternoon strolling through the aisles and people-watching . . . then make a meal with whatever you buy.

#4.) A BASEBALL GAME. A crowded baseball stadium is the perfect setting for a spring date: you're outside, the pace of the game leaves lots of time to talk, and the seats are cramped . . . so you're forced to be in close contact with each other.

#5.) A PICNIC. This a classic spring date idea for a good reason. Pack some fruit, some sandwiches, and some wine, and enjoy a picnic lunch together on a sunny afternoon, or right before sunset. (SheKnows.com)

THAT'S JUST CREEPY

A 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN HAD $15,000 WORTH OF PLASTIC SURGERY . . . SO SHE'D LOOK JUST LIKE HER 28-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER:

A few years ago, a 50-year-old British woman named Janet Cunliffe started to notice she was losing her looks. So Janet decided to have a bunch of plastic surgery procedures, including: --Collagen injections in her lips --A nose job --An eye lift --And breast implants..

Now . . . after spending more than $15,000 on cosmetic surgery . . . Janet looks eerily similar to her 28-year-old daughter, Jane.

Janet says, "The way I see it is that [Jane] got her looks from me in the first place. Mine have just faded with age. Seeing how attractive Jane is made me want to get my looks back. Now, instead of mom and daughter, we look more like twins." (Daily Mail)

(--Take a look at Janet and Jane and answer the all-important question . . . "Who looks better?" . . . I would have to say mom!. . .)

DON'T LOOK DESPERATE

***FOUR THINGS THAT MAKE YOU LOOK DESPERATE***

It's hard to act casually on a date when the person across the table is judging you.

Here are four things you could be doing on dates that make you seem desperate . . .

#1.) GOING ON AND ON ABOUT YOUR EX. If you're still getting over a failed relationship, it might be the ONLY thing on your mind. But don't make it the main topic of conversation.

--Mentioning an old relationship is fair game, but if you start complaining about it . . . or show that you're still angry or sad . . . it's time to change the subject IMMEDIATELY

#2.) BROADCASTING YOUR SEX LIFE. Talking about how long it's been since your last roll in the hay WON'T win anyone over. If anything, you'll give your date the wrong idea and make them think you're only interested in one thing.

#3.) BEING WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE. People worry too much about impressing their date, and don't act naturally. When you're nervous, you're more likely to make inappropriate jokes, which will make your date think you're either desperate . . . or a jerk.

#4.) JUMPING THE GUN. If you were in a long-term relationship that ended, you might want to pick up where you left off. So make sure you don't FORCE things to move too fast. If you do, you'll scare the other person off.

--Instead of auditioning replacements for the Love of Your Life, have a little fun. Lighten up, and quit thinking of the person across from you as a potential soul mate. (CNN.com)

HAIR. THE QUICKER PICKER-UPPER?

IN HONOR OF EARTH WEEK, HAIR STYLISTS ARE DONATING HAIR CLIPPINGS . . . TO CLEAN UP OIL SPILLS???

In case you didn't know, next week is Earth Week. And I hope you'll do your part to save the planet . . . by getting a HAIR CUT.

Confused? I'll explain . . . Next week, almost 100 Paul Mitchell Hair Stylist Schools will be donating HAIR CLIPPINGS gathered from haircuts to a non-profit environmental group . . . called Matter of Trust . . . which will be used to help clean up OIL SPILLS. I know . . . it sounds crazy. But if you get enough hair clippings, they can be woven together to create "hair mats", which . . . apparently . . . are great for cleaning up oil spills.

A woman named Lisa Craig Gautier founded Matter of Trust. She says that just ONE POUND of hair, "can soak up a quart of oil, and it can be wrung out and used up to 100 times, as long as there's no sand in it." (--Who knew?) (Green Biz)

You can donate your hair clippings to Matter of Trust here . . . http://www.matteroftrust.org/

(--Check out some photos of these hair mats . . .)

***VIDEOS OF THE DAY***

VOICE OF AN ANGEL

YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS VIDEO!! A woman named SUSAN BOYLE appeared on Britain's version of the show "America's Got Talent" and became an Internet sensation. Here's why. (--She starts singing at 1:56.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY
(Search Terms: Susan Boyle Britain's Got Talent)

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WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS!

These two guys bring a guitar to a Taco Bell drive-thru and sing their order. Then the drive-thru guy surprises them both by getting every single item right when he reads their order back to them.

(--He starts reading back their order at 2:07.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uwY3sjqYX0(Search Terms: fast food folk song Taco Bell drive-thru video)

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO WIN A DATE WITH BILL CLINTON?

HILLARY CLINTON IS STILL PAYING OFF HER CAMPAIGN DEBT . . . BY RAFFLING OFF A DAY WITH BILL???

In case you didn't know, HILLARY CLINTON spent MILLIONS of her own money to compete with BARACK OBAMA in last year's Democratic campaign.

Well, we all know who won. Meanwhile, Clinton is STILL trying to pay off her debts. Or, rather, she wants YOU to pay off her debts.

That's why she's decided to start a raffle which YOU can enter . . . in exchange for a small financial contribution. So what are the prizes?

#1.) A guided tour of Washington, D.C., with political consultants JAMES CARVILLE and PAUL BEGALA.

#2.) Tickets to the "American Idol" season finale.

#3.) The chance to spend an entire day in New York City with BILL CLINTON. (!!!)

By the way, before you start feeling too bad for Hillary, you should know that in just the first three months of this year . . . she's already made $5.6 MILLION!!! Meanwhile, a look at Obama's taxes shows he earned $2.7 MILLION last year . . . mostly from the sale of his two books, "Dreams from My Father" and "The Audacity of Hope". That's down from $4.2 MILLION in 2007.

The Obamas gave $172,050 to 37 different charities . . . including $25,000 apiece to a global anti-poverty group called CARE and the United Negro College Fund. JOE BIDEN earned $269,256 last year and only donated $1,885 . . . or less than 1% . . . to charity. Nice guy. (Politico / New York Times)

(--If you'd like to help poor Hillary's cause you can donate and enter the raffle here . . .)http://www.hillaryclinton.com/

THANKS FOR DOING A GOOD JOB - YOUR FIRED!!

A COP WAS FIRED FIVE MINUTES AFTER BEING HONORED BY THE MAYOR FOR CATCHING A MURDER SUSPECT:

On Tuesday, a 28-year-old police officer named Kristopher Weston responded to a shooting at a grocery store in East St. Louis, Illinois, and 20 minutes later . . . he found and arrested the murder suspect hiding in some bushes.

A few hours later, the mayor of East St. Louis called Kristopher before the City Council . . . to honor him for a job well done. Then FIVE MINUTES later, the City Council voted to lay Kristopher off.

So what happened? Apparently, East St. Louis is pretty broke . . . and they needed to lay off at least 17 city workers. Since Kristopher had only TEN months on the job . . . and the cuts were based only on seniority . . . Kristopher had to go.

Kristopher says, quote, "It was nice to be recognized. I'll just leave it at that." (St. Louis Post-Dispatch / KSDK News 5 - St. Louis)

HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR BOSS

***SIX TYPES OF BOSSES AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM***

Having issues with your boss basically goes hand in hand with having a job. Sometimes, just making it through the day can be a challenge. If your boss makes your life miserable, here's some advice on how to deal with six types of bad bosses . . .

#1.) THE CORPORATE BULLY. If your boss is rude and drunk with power, the trick is to fly under his radar while getting noticed by the higher ups. Always stand up for yourself, but be subtle about it.

-- Try to develop a relationship with someone else at work who's in a position of power. They can expose you to new opportunities and shield you from your boss's tantrums.

#2.) THE MICROMANAGER. He thinks that if he wants something done right, he has to do it himself. And challenging his authority won't get you anywhere. Micromanagers are typically insecure, and they constantly need to know what's going on.

--So keep him informed, but DON'T give him minute-to-minute updates. The idea is to give him just enough information to make him THINK he's in complete control . . . while you stay reasonably independent.

#3.) THE OFFICE POLITICIAN. He doesn't keep his promises, and he steals your ideas. He acts like your best friend, but he'll stab you in the back if he needs to. So protect yourself by communicating over email as much as possible.

--That way, all your requests and ideas become official record, and he can't twist them to his advantage. If he tries to do everything face-to-face, follow up with an e-mail confirmation . . . and CC someone else at your company if it's appropriate.

#4.) THE SENIOR ENFORCER. He's in a position of power because he's been there longer . . . not because he's smarter or does a better job than you do. Since he's not extremely talented, he follows procedures and is terrified he'll make a mistake.

--Any groundbreaking ideas you have will probably get rejected. So save those ideas for a large meeting where HIS boss will hopefully be more responsive. Just don't go over your boss's head. If you do, he'll feel challenged and won't like that you broke protocol.

#5.) THE DRAMA QUEEN. He spends most days complaining and creating problems. He'll reject the most obvious solutions just to make things harder, and he'll take everything personally. But don't let yourself get sucked in by his negativity.

--If you do, you'll start dreading work even more. Stay positive and try to ignore your boss's tantrums. If you don't give him the attention he craves, hopefully he'll start complaining to someone else.

#6.) THE SILENT STRATEGIST. You get frustrated because you can't tell where you stand with him. He rarely gives feedback, and he only involves key people when making big decisions. But since you don't KNOW what he's thinking, don't get paranoid.

--Silent strategists usually don't realize they're doing anything wrong, so it's okay to voice your concerns and share your ideas. Who knows? . . . You might make your way into his inner circle and start making some real improvements. (AskMen.com)

***VIDEOS OF THE DAY***

HEY, THE MAN HAS A SKILL

Infomercial guru BILLY MAYS went through a McDonald's drive-thru and did his sales pitch over the intercom. At one point, he says, "I'd like to order the buy-one-get-one-free bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit . . . but wait, there's more!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtYdDK1uTDI
(Search Terms: Billy Mays orders breakfast at the drive-thru)

NICK JONAS CONTEST

NICK JONAS HAS LAUNCHED A NEW CONTEST . . . WHICH OFFERS KIDS AND TEENS WITH DIABETES A CHANCE TO MEET HIM:

NICK JONAS . . . from the JONAS BROTHERS. . . has teamed up with Bayer Diabetes Care to launch a new contest, which offers kids with diabetes a chance to meet him. (--Nick, if you didn't know, has Type-1 Diabetes.) It's called the "Express Your 'Simple Win' Creativity Contest".

Here's how it works: Kids between the ages of six and 18 are invited to submit short videos, where they share their "simple wins" . . . which are described as "small everyday victories for managing diabetes."

There aren't a lot of specific guidelines for the video. It can include original song lyrics, photography, painting and drawing, acting or another form of creativity. Videos can be submitted to http://www.nickssimplewins.com/.

Then, during the last week of each month . . . from April through September . . . the top three videos will be posted on the website, where visitors will vote for their favorites.

Each monthly winner will receive a prize . . . and become eligible for the grand prize, which involves meeting Nick. The winners will be announced in October.

(--For more details . . . and to see a sample video . . . hit up the website, here . . .)http://contest.nickssimplewins.com/index.php

ARE GUYS CLUELESS?

IT'S OFFICIAL: MEN JUST DON'T GET SUBTLETY . . . IN FLIRTING:

Ladies . . . do you ever get the feeling that guys can't tell when you're FLIRTING with them? Well, according to a new study from Bucknell University, that makes total sense.

According to the study, women prefer it when men flirt with them by using subtle cues . . . like giving them a "coy smile", using body language or discussing common interests. And they assume that guys want the same thing.

But they couldn't be more wrong, because what guys REALLY want is a direct, no-nonsense approach . . . like an invitation to dinner, exchanging phone numbers, or asking straightforward questions like, "Do you want to do something later tonight?" Why? Because, in general, men have trouble picking up on subtle "hints". And if you leave it up to the guy . . . there's a pretty good chance he'll misunderstand your intentions.

A guy named Dr. Joel Wade led the study. He says, "The DIRECT indication of a possible date, as well as the HINT of a possible date, gives the man a CLEAR SIGNAL instead of sending mixed, non-verbal signals that the man must decipher . . . --"[Straightforward suggestions remove] any uncertainty regarding the outcome of the situation."

In other words . . . ladies . . . if you like a guy you probably need to spell it out for him. (Seduction Labs)

TAX DAY

***FIVE OF THE DUMBEST TAXES IN HISTORY***

Today is April 15th . . . the last day to file your taxes. This time of year is always a stressful time, and no one likes forking over money to the government. But here are five of the dumbest taxes in history. At least you're not paying these . . .

#1.) THE BEARD TAX. Apparently, Russia's Peter the Great HATED excess facial hair. And in the year 1699, he started taxing men if they had a beard. As if that wasn't enough, he also made them wear medals that said their beards looked ridiculous.

#2.) THE DRUG DEALER TAX. Current IRS guidelines state that any money you make selling illegal drugs must be listed as part of your income on Form 1040, line 21. Of course, no drug dealer ever lists it. It's hard enough to get HONEST people to pay up.

#3.) THE SLAVE EMANCIPATION TAX. In ancient Rome, slaves who were freed by their owners had to pay a tax for that freedom. Somehow, freed slaves had to come up with 10% of their former sticker price, and then hand it over to the government.

#4.) THE NOBEL PRIZE TAX. That's right. If you do something so important to mankind that you're honored with the Nobel Prize, you actually have to pay a tax on it. But it's not just the Nobel Prize. Other awards like Oscars and Pulitzers are taxed too.

#5.) THE EXISTENCE TAX. Today, we're taxed on the money we MAKE, but can you imagine being taxed just because you're ALIVE? That's what happened in England in the 14th century, and it caused one of the biggest revolts in the country's history. (AskMen.com)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT

ARE YOU READY KIDS??

JOHNNY DEPP will appear on this Friday's episode of (Nickelodeon's) "SpongeBob SquarePants". He provides the voice for a chill, surfer-dude character. (--You can watch a preview of Johnny's "SpongeBob" performance, here . . .)http://www.eonline.com/videos/v19409128001_Depp_Gets_Animated_On_SpongeBob.html

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WHERE IN THE WORLD IS BRITNEY?

On Sunday night, BRITNEY SPEARS was performing in San Jose, California . . . and she yelled to the crowd, quote, "What's up Sacramento?!" (--Sacramento is 90 miles away from San Jose.) (--Here's a video of this . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PMftvsuMjY

(Come on, doesn't she know to write the name of the city on the back of her hand!)

FACEBOOK FAST FACTS

STUDENTS WHO USE FACEBOOK EVERY DAY HAVE A GPA THAT'S A FULL GRADE LOWER . . . THAN STUDENTS WHO DON'T USE FACEBOOK:

Parents . . . if your kid used to get good grades but now their marks have started to slip, you might want to take a look at how much time your kid spends . . . on Facebook. Why? Because according to a new study from Ohio State University, students who spend time on Facebook do WORSE in school . . . than students who aren't on Facebook.

Listen to this . . . More than TWO in THREE students who use Facebook . . . or 68% . . . have a lower GPA than students who don't use Facebook. And the majority of students who use Facebook every day . . . get marks that are a FULL GRADE worse than non-Facebook users.

A woman named Aryn Karpinski led the study. She says, quote, "Our study shows people who spend MORE time on Facebook spend LESS time studying. Every generation has its distractions, but I think Facebook is a unique phenomenon." (CNet News)

(--In other words, instead of preparing for their future, your kids are spending their time posting status updates . . . which are probably riddled with misspellings . . . and taking quizzes about which kind of plant or car they'd be. Aren't you proud? - LOL)

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THE FASTEST GROWING GROUP OF FACEBOOK USERS . . . IS WOMEN OVER THE AGE OF 55:

Social networking websites have traditionally been associated with younger people in their teens and 20s. But it seems that trend is quickly changing because according to a new study from Stanford University, the fastest growing group of Facebook users . . . is women over the age of 55.

Right now, there are roughly 1.5 MILLION women over the age of 55 on Facebook. That's a 550% increase over just the last SIX MONTHS.

At the same time, the number of Facebook users under the age of 25 . . . increased by only 20%.

So why are so many women of a certain age just now becoming interested in Facebook? Part of the reason is because they want to stay in touch with their kids and grandkids. And according to the guy who led the study . . . a professor named B.J. Fogg . . . another reason is because, quote: --"We've reached critical mass where there's been enough talk about Facebook and people have gotten so many invitations from their friends, they're going, 'OK, what is this Facebook thing? I've got to get onboard or I'm going to be left in the dust.'" (CNN)

(--Translated, that means Facebook has become so MAINSTREAM . . . that even your parents are feeling pressure to get on it. Or, in other words, Facebook is no longer cool. Sorry kids..)

FOOTBALL RE-DO?

TWO HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL TEAMS ARE GOING TO REPLAY A GAME THAT ENDED IN A TIE . . . IN 1993:

The football rivalry between the Red Rovers of Easton Area High School in Easton, Pennsylvania, and the Stateliners of Phillipsburg High School in Phillipsburg, New Jersey, is one of the oldest in the nation . . . dating back to 1905.

In case you're wondering, Easton is on Pennsylvania's eastern border . . . and Phillipsburg is on New Jersey's western border. The only thing separating the two towns is the Delaware River. Overall, Easton leads the series 57-40-5.

But now, players from both schools are preparing to REPLAY a game that ended in a TIE . . . back in 1993. That's right. 1993.

So WHY are they doing it? Well, the official reason is because Gatorade approached the two schools . . . and asked them to be part of a documentary showcasing their football rivalry. But let's be honest . . . the real reason they're replaying the game is probably so a bunch of 30-something duffers can relive their past glory one last time. The game is scheduled to take place on April 26th at Lafayette College in Easton. (Yahoo Sports)

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR MAN

***FIVE ANIMAL TRAINING TECHNIQUES THAT ALSO WORK ON MEN***

Men are card-carrying members of the animal kingdom. They grunt, they fight . . . they want to mate CONSTANTLY. If your guy is behaving like an animal, why not treat him like one? Here are five animal training techniques that work on men too . . .

ISSUE #1.) HE HATES DOING CHORES. When trainers need CHIMPANZEES to perform a task, they play with them for 10 minutes first. So, when you need your boyfriend or husband to do something, take a few minutes to goof around first.

--If you use this technique consistently, he'll be less likely to dread doing housework.

ISSUE #2.) HE'S CRUDE AND INAPPROPRAITE. When a DOG won't stop sniffing people's crotches, trainers IGNORE the bad behavior. The same can work on your husband or boyfriend too. If he burps and tells off-color jokes, don't respond. Then, when he does something GOOD, give him your attention as a reward. Just remember that TIMING is crucial. If you don't reward him at the EXACT moment he does something good, he won't be able to make the appropriate connection.

ISSUE #3.) HE RUNS AWAY DURING ARGUMENTS. HORSES look powerful, but deep down, they're skittish and scared. That's why they generally respond well to a calm voice and a gentle touch from their trainers. And men are the same way. The next time you get into an argument, speak in a quiet, even-toned voice. He's more likely to understand the problem and less likely to head for the hills.

ISSUE #4.) HE WON'T GET OFF THE COUCH. LIONS are lazy too. They sleep 20 hours a day and only move when they need to. Trying to get a lion to do something it doesn't want to do is nearly impossible, so zoo keepers take advantage of its active hours. But if they need a lion to move when it doesn't want to, they use FOOD as a bribe. And men respond to food in basically the same way.

ISSUE #5.) HE'S NOT ROMANTIC. When a trainer wants to teach an ELEPHANT a new trick, he does so in small increments. Any elephant can learn a trick, and any man can be romantic . . . if someone teaches him how. You just have to take baby steps.

--So light some candles, and put on some romantic music. Let him know that romance makes you feel sexy. Then . . . as positive reinforcement . . . SHOW him how sexy it makes you feel. (Cosmopolitan.com)

THE FIRST DOG

THE OBAMAS FINALLY GOT A DOG . . . A 6-MONTH-OLD PORTUGUESE WATER DOG NAMED BO:

When BARACK OBAMA took office in January, he inherited a two-front war, an economic crisis . . . and a partisan Congress that can't seem to agree on anything. --And, yet, the ONE QUESTION that keeps coming up in the media is: What kind of DOG are the Obamas going to get??? --Well, I'm happy to report that the Obamas have finally gotten a dog . . . a 6-month-old, black-and-white Portuguese Water Dog that SASHA and MALIA have decided to call "Bo". --Bo is expected to move into the White House on Tuesday. (Fox News)

Bo was a gift from Senator TED KENNEDY of Massachusetts . . . who owns several Portuguese Water Dogs himself. And the reason the girls named the dog Bo is because MICHELLE OBAMA'S father was nicknamed "Diddley" . . . and the name Bo is a reference to the singer, BO DIDDLEY.

(--Check out some pictures of the Obamas' new dog, BO. . .)

DOG-MOBILE

HONDA CAME OUT WITH A DOG-FRIENDLY CAR:

On Saturday, the New York International Auto Show got under way, and Honda seized the opportunity to roll out a new DOG-FRIENDLY version of its Element SUV. So what exactly makes the new Element dog friendly?

Well, it comes complete with: A cushioned dog bed with restraints. A "spill-resistant" water bowl. Easy-wash, dog pattern seat covers. Bone-shaped floor mats. A ramp to help older dogs get into the car. A paw logo on the side of the car.

The dog-friendly version of the Element will go on sale starting this fall. (Yahoo News)

(--You can get more info and see pictures of the dog-friendly Element here . . .)http://automobiles.honda.com/element/dog-accessories.aspx

HOW BIZARRE NEWS (4-13-09)

WEDDING AD SPACE?

A Romanian groom is trying to pay for his marriage by selling advertising space on his wedding tie. The 26 year old man has set up a website for bidders - and reckons he'll easily pay for the ceremony and some special presents. Companies can pay nearly 100 dollars for a slot near the top of his tie, $50.00 for one in the middle or just $10 to have their name at the bottom of the tie. http://www.cravatamea.com/ - keeps a running total of all bids.

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CLEAN YOUR SOUL ON-LINE

Sinners, take heed: There's a product available now in parts of New York that will leave you with that "almost baptized feeling." It's called SoulWow -- with the cleansing power of confession. In a YouTube parody of the popular ads for ShamWow absorbent towels, a priestly pitchman named Father Vic calls on Roman Catholics in Brooklyn, Queens and Long Island to partake. The ad campaign was launched before Palm Sunday by the dioceses of Brooklyn and Rockville Centre in an effort to increase the number of people who confess during Holy Week. Church officials say they've seen an upsurge of followers seeking absolution. SoulWow: http://www.soulwow.com/

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LEGO JESUS

Parishioners at a church in Sweden celebrated Easter yesterday by unveiling a 6-foot-tall statue of Jesus that they had built out of 30,000 Lego’s. It took the 40 volunteers about 18 months to put all the tiny plastic blocks together, and their creation shows a standing Jesus facing forward with his arms outstretched. The church was filled to capacity with about 400 worshippers on Sunday when the statue went on display behind the altar, and some of the children in the congregation couldn't help but touch the white art work.