WORD!

THE ODDS THAT BARACK OBAMA WILL SAY THE WORD "BANANA" IN HIS INAUGURATION SPEECH IS 1000-TO-ONE:

Yesterday, an online bookmaker called Betsson.com started taking bets on which words BARACK OBAMA will use in his inauguration speech on Tuesday. Here's a partial list of the odds Betsson is giving . . .

-- The United States: 1.01-to-1
--Change: 1.03-to-1
--God Bless America: 1.05-to-1
--George Bush: 2-to-1
--Israel: 2.25-to-1
--Terrorist: 5-to-1
--Puppy: 5-to-1
--Martin Luther King Jr.: 10-to-1 (--This is the bet I'd take.)
--Russia: 20-to-1
--China: 20-to-1
--Osama Bin Laden: 35-to-1
--Norway: 100-to-1
--Sarah Palin: 100-to-1
--Rod Blagojevich: 100-to-1
--Hallelujah: 100-to-1
--Michael Moore: 100-to-1
--Cocaine: 500-to-1
--Banana: 1,000-to-1

(Yahoo News / Presse Meldinger)

(--You can gamble on Obama's inauguration speech here . . .)
https://www.betsson.com/web/en/sportsbook/#m=1097

(--And if you think some of those things would never come out of Obama's mouth . . . you NEED to check out the Obama Soundboard at http://obamasoundoff.com/.)

HISTORY OF THE BRA

HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THE BRA???

Ladies . . . you wear a bra every day (--or so I assume) . . . but how much do you really know about the history of the bra? Probably not that much . . . am I right?

Fortunately, there's a new pop-up book . . . called "Hoorah for the Bra: A Perky Peek at the History of the Brassiere" . . . that can answer all your bra-related questions.

For example, did you know the bra was invented in 1914 by Mary Phelps Jacob . . . a New York socialite who fastened two handkerchiefs together with a pink ribbon?

Or that during World War Two, bra cups were made to resemble the nose of an airplane . . . because the shape was thought to convey aggression?

Or that the first sports bra was created in the 1970s . . . by fusing two jock straps together?

Cheree Berry . . . the book's author . . . says she decided to write the book because, quote, "The bra is the one symbol that represents women. It's the one thing we have that nobody else owns." (Suburban Journals)

(--You can order this book for $15 here . . .)http://www.amazon.com/Hoorah-Bra-Perky-History-Brassiere/dp/1584795271

DRUNK SCOOTER DRIVER

A WOMAN ON A MOBILITY SCOOTER WITH A TOP SPEED OF 2.4 MILES AN HOUR WAS ARRESTED FOR . . . DRUNK DRIVING???

Do you know what a mobility scooter is? If not, they're those motorized scooters that elderly and disabled people use to get around. Anyway, last November, 46-year-old Amanda Leaff of Stretford, England was out doing some shopping at her local grocery store. But it seems Amanda was a little drunk and a little short on cash. So to save herself the taxi fare . . . Amanda decided to "borrow" a mobility scooter that belonged to the store, in order to make the ten-mile trip home.

The only problem was that two-and-a-half miles into her trip, a police officer spotted Amanda, quote, "driving erratically" and pulled her over.

But get this: Amanda wasn't arrested for stealing the mobility scooter. She was arrested for operating the scooter . . . which has a top speed of 2.4 miles per hour . . . while intoxicated. (???)

On Tuesday, Amanda was given a $350 fine . . . and her license was revoked for 20 months. (Daily Mail)

TALKING TO STRANGERS

FIVE WAYS TO HAVE A GREAT CONVERSATION WITH A STRANGER:

#1.) "WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?" Wherever you are, this gives the person a chance to talk about themself . . . and gives you a chance to learn A LOT about them. And when they talk, actually listen to what they say and ask follow-up questions.

#2.) "YOU HAVE AN AMAZING VOICE." This is good because it's complimenting something physical . . . WITHOUT being too sexual. You can also compliment their hair, eyes or smile. Just don't compliment something that sounds like a fetish . . . like their feet.

#3.) "WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE NOT . . ." This shows you were listening when they talked about their job . . . and that you're interested in their hobbies.

#4.) "LET'S JUST SAY MATH WASN'T MY STRENGTH." It's good to admit a few minor weaknesses. It shows you have self confidence and self awareness. BUT . . . admitting more than a couple shows you have self-esteem issues.

#5.) "DID YOU READ/ HEAR ABOUT . . ." Talk about something you read or saw or experienced recently. Current events are perfect for an interesting conversation. Just avoid politics or religion, which are WAY too divisive. (Men's Health)

JYY HERO OF THE WEEK

A NINE-YEAR-OLD CARRIED HIS INJURED FRIEND HOME ON HIS BACK AFTER HE WAS STRUCK BY A HIT-AND-RUN DRIVER:

Now it's time to recognize our "JYY Hero of the WEEK" . . . 9-year-old Ruben Nuncio of Houston, Texas. On Tuesday, Ruben and his friend, 10-year-old Eric Kelley, were out riding their bikes when a Lincoln Navigator blew through a stop sign and struck Eric. The driver of the Navigator got out of the car just long enough to remove Eric's bike from underneath his SUV and switch spots with his passenger . . . before speeding off.

Anyway, Ruben picked Eric up, threw him over his shoulder and carried him two blocks to his house. Then he called 911.

Eric was rushed to the hospital . . . and as of yesterday, he was back at home healing. The police haven't found the two people responsible for the hit-and-run accident. (KTRK News 13 - Houston)

PRESIDENTIAL PORTRAIT

CHECK OUT OBAMA'S OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL PORTRAIT:

If you just can't wait until next Tuesday when BARACK OBAMA is sworn in as president . . . then maybe you should tide yourself over by taking a look at his official presidential portrait. (Engadget)

(--Interesting Fact: Obama is the first U.S. president to have his official portrait taken with a digital camera.)

(--Check out Obama's presidential portrait . . .)

HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW

44% OF AMERICANS THINK THE OBAMAS SHOULD GET A MUTT:

Over the weekend, BARACK OBAMA announced that his family has narrowed their dog search down to TWO dog breeds: a Labradoodle . . . which is a cross between a Labrador and a Poodle . . . and a Portuguese Water Dog.

But it seems most Americans want the Obamas get a mutt instead of a pure-bred dog. According to an "important" new survey, 44% of Americans would like the Obamas to get a mutt, while just 19% want them to get a pure-bred dog. (Arizona Republic)

If you're keeping track, that leaves 37% of Americans who couldn't care less. Given the state of our economy and the fact that we're in the midst of not one but TWO wars, you can count me among those people.

NOW THAT'S SOME GOOD COFFEE

HAVE YOU EVER HALLUCINATED FROM DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE???

If you're a coffee drinker, then I have to know: Have you ever suffered HALLUCINATIONS from drinking too much coffee?

The reason I ask is because according to a new study from Durham University in England, coffee can cause heavily-caffeinated people to hear voices . . . and even experience hallucinations. Seriously. (Sun)

So just how much coffee do you have to drink before you start seeing stuff? Well, according to the researchers, people who drink at least SEVEN cups of coffee a day are at the highest risk. Fun, right??

BEST OF IDOL

SOME OF IDOL'S BEST PERFORMANCES

"American Idol's" eighth season kicked off last night and will continue tonight. In anticipation of the various performances to be seen in tonight's round of auditions, "Entertainment Weekly" has unleashed the list "'American Idol:' The 16 Best Performances Ever."

Season three winner Fantasia Barrino stole the number one spot for her rendition of "Summertime." The singer admitted to not even knowing the song until she joined the competition. Season one winner Kelly Clarkson is in second place with "Stuff Like That There" while Elliott Yamin's "A Song for You" from season five made third place.

Season six runnerup Blake Lewis scored fourth place with "You Give Love a Bad Name" while Bo Bice rounds out the top five with his "In a Dream" rendition performed in "Idol's" fourth season. Part two of "American Idol's" eighth season kick off is tonight on Fox at 8 p.m. Eastern.

Here's "Entertainment Weekly's" List of "'American Idol:' The 16 Best Performances Ever:"

-- "Hallelujah" - Jason Castro (Season 7)

-- "Superstar" - Ruben Studdard (Season 2)

-- "Proud Mary" - Trenyce (Season 2)

-- "Billie Jean" - David Cook (Season 7)

-- "Solitaire" - Clay Aiken (Season 2)

-- "Alone" - Carrie Underwood (Season 4)

-- "I (Who Have Nothing)" - Jordin Sparks (Season 6)

-- "Imagine" - David Archuleta (Season 7)

-- "My Funny Valentine" - Melinda Doolittle (Season 6)
-- "Hemorrhage" - Chris Daughtry (Season 5)

-- "Circle of Life"- Jennifer Hudson (Season 3)

-- "In a Dream" - Bo Bice (Season 4)

-- "You Give Love a Bad Name" - Blake Lewis (Season 6)

-- "A Song for You" - Elliott Yamin (Season 5)

-- "Stuff Like That There" - Kelly Clarkson (Season 1)
-- "Summertime" - Fantasia Barrino (Season 3)

A DADDY'S WORTH

STAY-AT-HOME DADS ARE WORTH $125,340 A YEAR:

According to a 2007 survey, 37% of working fathers would quit their job to become a stay-at-home dad . . . if they could afford to do it. -But that begs the question: Just how much is a stay-at-home dad worth?

Well, according to a website called Salary.com, when you factor in tasks like cooking, cleaning, teaching, and working as a child psychologist . . . a stay-at-home dad is worth $125,340 a year. (CNN)

(Check out this stay at home dad.. He had enough time to rap about Turbo Tax.. - Enjoty!)

HOW TO ORGANIZE YOUR MONEY

***FIVE STEPS TO ORGANIZE YOUR FINANCES***

The beginning of the year is a great time to start fresh. And if you're like most people, you've probably got shoe boxes full of old receipts, and bills plastered to your refrigerator. So here are five easy steps to getting your financial life organized in 2009 . . .

#1.) GET A HEAD START ON YOUR TAXES. Start a file for all of your incoming tax documents, and gather all your receipts into one spot. Spending a few hours on it now will make things a whole lot simpler when April 15th rolls around.

#2.) TRACK YOUR MONEY. Quicken is the most-popular software out there, but there are a lot of options when it comes to tracking your finances.

--Websites like Shoeboxed.com help organize receipts and business cards, and sites like Mint.com and Wesabe.com make it even easier to track your spending.

#3.) GET RID OF STUFF YOU DON'T NEED. Most of us hold onto paperwork because we're afraid that once we toss it out, we'll need it. But here are some helpful guidelines. Keep your tax returns for seven years . . . ten if you're being EXTRA careful.

Throw out your old bank statements unless they include deductible expenses or charitable donations . . . and once you've paid your bills, TOSS THEM. Don't worry. You'll get more next month.

#4.) COLLECT THE MONEY THAT'S OWED TO YOU. A lot of us focus on our bills and forget what people owe US. If you're enrolled in a flexible spending account at work, make sure you collect all the tax-free money you've been squirreling away.

Also, many people have unclaimed paychecks and old utility deposits floating around out there, and they don't even realize it. Check out the website Unclaimed.org to see if you're one of them.

#5.) CREATE A SYSTEM. Once you've got your paperwork organized, set up a system that works for you. Open your bills as soon as you get them, and decide on ONE PLACE to put them . . . NOT FIVE.

If you get organized now and STAY organized, you'll be happy you did later in the year. (Yahoo.com)

WHAT A GREAT IDEA

THERE'S A DELIVERY SERVICE IN FLORIDA THAT BRINGS BEER AND SMOKES TO PEOPLE WHO ARE TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE:

Don't you hate it when you're at a party and you run out of beer . . . but you're already too drunk to go out and get more?

Well, so did a group of friends in Wesley Chapel, Florida. That's why they decided to start Beer Runners . . . which is a delivery service that brings beer and cigarettes to people who are too drunk to drive.

40-year-old Wilson Palacios is a co-owner of Beer Runners. He says, "If we can keep one intoxicated person off the street, it's a small step in the right direction." (--So you know, the minimum order for a Beer Runners delivery is $20, and the delivery charge is $5 if you're within three miles . . . and $0.65 per mile after that.) (St. Petersburg Times)

(--check out their website. . .) http://www.usbeerrunners.com/

DRIVING DISTRACTIONS

JUST LISTENING TO SOMEONE ON YOUR CELL PHONE REDUCES THE BRAIN ACTIVITY YOU CAN DEVOTE TO DRIVING BY 37%:

According to a recent survey, TWO in FIVE drivers have been hit or nearly hit by another driver . . . who was talking on their cell phone. And, actually, that makes total sense. Why?

Because researchers at Carnegie Mellon University have found that just LISTENING to someone on your cell phone reduces the amount of brain activity you can devote to driving . . . by 37%. (ABC News)

(--So please stop being a MEATBALL and hang up your cell phone when you get behind the wheel. I'm serious.)

LICENSE & REGISTRATION PLEASE

FOR EVERY 1% DROP IN GOVERNMENT REVENUE . . . THE NUMBER OF TRAFFIC TICKETS THAT ARE ISSUED INCREASES BY 30%:

There's a decent chance that the down economy has already affected your spending habits . . . and it could soon affect your DRIVING habits too. Why?

Because according to a study from the University of Arkansas at Little Rock, for every 1% drop in government revenue . . . the number of traffic tickets that are issued increases by 30%. (Charlotte Observer)

In other words, the government is going to get paid . . . no matter how bad the economy gets. If they're not making their revenue through legitimate business, they're going to hit you up for it. So slow down and make sure you go the speed limit.

BEST JOB IN THE WORLD

THIS JUST MIGHT BE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD:

If you're looking for a new job, then you're going to want to pay attention . . . because this just might be the BEST JOB IN THE WORLD. An Australian company called Tourism Queensland has announced that they're looking for a caretaker for Hamilton Island . . . which is a private island off Australia's northeastern coast in the Great Barrier Reef.

So what are the job duties?

#1.) Maintain a weekly blog . . . including a photo diary and video updates . . . about Hamilton Island and the unique life there.

#2.) Clean the pool, feed the fish and pick up the mail at the three-bedroom residence which the company will provide.

That's all!!

But that's not even the best part. Get this: The job only requires you to work for six months a year, all your living costs will be completely paid for . . . and the salary is just over $106,000 a year.

Tourism Queensland will interview 11 job candidates in May . . . and the winner will start work on July 1st. (Scotsman)

(--You can learn more about the job and fill out an online application here . . .)http://www.islandreefjob.com/

THE HEART KNOWS NO AGE

THERE'S A 107-YEAR-OLD WOMAN IN CHINA WHO'S LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND:

Guys . . . if you're into older women, then I'm about to make your day. Wang Guiying is a 107-year-old woman from China . . . and even though she's never been married before, Wang has just announced that she's finally ready to find a husband.

Now, maybe you're wondering why Wang never tied the knot before. Or maybe you're not. Either way, according to Wang, it's because she was too afraid.

See, when Wang was younger, all the marriages she saw were abusive. But now that she's older, she's worried about becoming a burden on her younger family members. So Wang has put out the word that she's looking for a nice, older gentleman to settle down with.

(--And, no, there's no information about whether Wang has "done the deed". Get your head out of the gutter.) (Yahoo News)

(--Check out a picture of Wang. . .)

STRESSED OUT KIDS

***EIGHT WAYS TO HELP YOUR KIDS MANAGE STRESS***

To learn how to deal with stress, kids need to be able to recognize when emotions and responsibilities become too much to handle. Here are eight things you can teach your child to help them identify stress and deal with it in a healthy way . . .

#1.) IDENTIFY THE SYMPTOMS OF ANXIETY. Teaching your children to recognize the physical symptoms of stress is the first step. Hair twirling, nail biting, eye twitching, and foot tapping are just a few important signals.

#2.) KEEP A JOURNAL. Many children internalize their stress and don't show physical symptoms. That's why keeping a journal is so important. Kids can express their anger, sadness, and frustration while effectively transferring their anxiety onto paper.

#3.) MAKE SURE THEY ASK FOR HELP. Everyone needs help sometimes, and it's important your kids know they don't have to do everything on their own. Letting them vent about the stress they're feeling will help teach them about EMOTIONAL support.

#4.) PLAN AHEAD. If your child has a big project at school, teach them to break the task up into parts that are manageable. A one-step-at-a-time approach will help them divide and conquer the anxiety in any situation.

#5.) SET PRIORITIES. For kids AND adults, the whole world can sometimes seem like a giant to-do list. So help your child decide what's most important and focus on that first. It's okay to put some things off until tomorrow if it helps your kids manage today.

#6.) IDENTIFY ACTIVITIES THAT RELIEVE STRESS. Listening to music, taking a walk, or calling a friend are all healthy ways to relieve stress. So teach your kids to identify the things that counteract their mounting stress.

#7.) GET ENOUGH SLEEP AND EAT RIGHT. When their schedules are packed with events, chores, challenges and responsibilities, make sure your kids take care of their basic needs first. If they're tired or undernourished, their stress levels will only increase.

#8.) GET SOME EXERCISE. It's especially important for kids to stay active. Exercise makes them feel more hopeful and energized, so no matter what's on their plate, make sure your kids find time to ride bikes, skate, or take part in whatever activity they like.--Plus, teaching them to relieve stress by exercising will help your kids maintain a healthy lifestyle in the long run, both emotionally and physically. (iVillage.com)

TEXT ME THE NUMBERS

THE AVERAGE TEEN SENDS 1,742 TEXT MESSAGES EVERY MONTH:

Remember when people used their cell phones to actually TALK to one another? Well, those days are long gone. How do I know? According to a recent Nielsen study, the average number of text messages sent by teens who have their own cell phone . . . is 1,742 a month.

If you do the math, that works out to roughly 57 text messages per day. (Are you trying to figure out how this could possibly be true? Allow me to explain . . .)

First of all, the kids love to CC their entire contacts list . . . to send the same message to all of their friends simultaneously. So if your kid sends one text to all of his friends . . . that counts as 50 or so text messages.

Also, the tally goes up any time someone else sends a text message to your kid. In other words, your kid might only send 10 texts a day, but if he gets 40 from his friends . . . that counts as 50 messages, from a billing standpoint. (New York Post)

BAD GIFT CARDS

***FOUR WAYS TO USE A STINKY GIFT CARD***

Thousands of people gave gift cards for the holidays this year. They're great since they allow you to buy what you want to. But what if you get stuck with a gift card to a store you HATE? Here are four ways to make sure the card doesn't go to waste . . .

#1.) DONATE THE CARD. Find a person or a local charity that's in need, and see if they can use the card. Most likely, they can. The card won't go to waste, and someone else will get to enjoy it.

#2.) BUY SOMETHING AND DONATE IT. If you don't want to donate the gift card itself, buy something useful and donate that. What you should buy depends on the gift card, but look for something that can be used by anyone.

#3.) RE-GIFT IT. The holidays are over, but there are plenty of birthdays coming up. If the gift card's for a store one of your friends likes, save it. Most cards retain their full value for at least a year, so you've got plenty of time. --In fact, you could probably even save it for NEXT Christmas.

#4.) SELL IT. The company that sold the card doesn't care who redeems it. So, if you just want some cold hard cash, get on the Internet and sell it on eBay or Craigslist. You won't get the full value of the card, but you WILL have some extra cash in your pocket. (Yahoo.com)

HOW BIZARRE NEWS (1-12-09)

A GUY IS SUING HIS EX-WIFE FOR $1.5 MILLION . . . BECAUSE HE GAVE HER A KIDNEY???

In 2001, Dawnell Batista of Garden City, New York, was on the verge of death. Luckily, her husband . . . 49-year-old Richard Batista . . . stepped up and donated one of his kidneys to save her life. Of course, that was before Richard found out that Dawnell was CHEATING ON HIM.

Anyway, the couple got divorced in 2005. But now, Richard is suing Dawnell . . . and he's given her TWO options:

#1.) Dawnell can either give Richard his kidney back.

#2.) Or she can agree to pay him $1.5 MILLION for the organ that saved her life.

According to Richard, quote, "I saved [Dawnell's] life. But the pain is unbearable . . . This is my last resort. I didn't want to be in the public eye." (New York Daily News / Yahoo News)

(Check out a pitcure of Richard & his Kidney-taking wife.)

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THE MEXICAN GOVERNMENT IS TELLING PEOPLE TO . . . SWALLOW THEIR GUM???

According to estimates, the average Mexican chews about 2.6 pounds of gum a year (--which is only about HALF of what the average American chews) . . . and each square foot of sidewalk in Mexico City has nearly 25 gobs of disgusting, discarded gum on it.

Anyway, in order to help keep Mexico's sidewalks clean, the government has come up with a "brilliant" new solution for the chewing gum problem. So what are they doing? According to Mexico City's director for conservation of public spaces . . . a guy named Ricardo Jural . . . quote, "When you finish chewing a piece of gum, you either have to put it in a piece of paper and deposit it in a trash receptacle, or SWALLOW IT."

Now, I know what you're thinking: Isn't it unhealthy to swallow your gum? Well, it's probably not going to kill you . . . but it's not great for you either. In fact, if you swallow too much gum, it can ball up with other objects in your stomach and cause an intestinal blockage. But according to Ricardo . . . that's not a problem.

He says, quote, "I've always swallowed my gum, and it's never done me any harm." (Yahoo News)

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BRIDE ADVERTISES FOR WEDDING GUESTS

A bride from Eastern Europe who is marrying in London is advertising for 'decent' guests to fill her side of the church. The Ukrainian woman's family are all at home, and only her parents can be at the ceremony, reports the BBC. So the woman, whose identity has not been disclosed, has posted a free ad on classifieds website "Gumtree" looking for 30 people to sit with her. She also wants bridesmaids, groomsmen and ushers.

The woman says in the advertisement: "I'm having a large mixed wedding of about 150 people. "My partner has loads of family around to invite to the wedding. Unfortunately for me, my family are all in Ukraine so they all can't make it. Only my mum and dad will be there."

Volunteers have to send a photograph and write about themselves, but in return they get invited to the reception. Gumtree trends analyst Trisha Routledge said: "For brides and grooms whose family live abroad, it must be tough not to have them there on the most special day of your life. "It's great to see that they're finding other ways of filling the seats, whilst offering some lucky people the chance to go to a wedding for free - and you never know who you might meet."