HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (03-18-11)
SHEEN-ANIGANS
Charlie Sheen Has Added Several New Dates to His Live Show:
CHARLIE SHEEN has added several new dates to his "Violent Torpedo of Truth / Defeat Is Not an Option" tour. There are now 20 dates in all, including two in Canada. --And the tickets continue to sell like crazy. The April 8th show at Radio City Music Hall in New York sold out in about 30 minutes . . . so he added another one on April 10th. --Last we heard, that show had almost sold out, too, but there were a few seats still available. (--Radio City has 6,000 seats, and tickets go for between 80 bucks and $519. Or you can pay $750 for a meet-and-greet with Charlie.) (--For all the dates, and to buy tickets, click here.)
Random Sheen-Anigans:
#1.) Did CHARLIE SHEEN threaten DENISE RICHARDS with physical violence because she wouldn't let him do a photo op with his daughters? (Full Story)
#2.) DENNIS HAYSBERT . . . who played slugger Pedro Cerrano in all three "Major League" movies . . . doesn't think Charlie can actually get another one made. (Full Story)
#3.) The Biography Channel is getting in on the CHARLIE SHEEN exploitation business. They're running a one-hour special on Charlie Sunday night at 9:00 P.M., just one hour before TLC airs theirs.
#4.) In a new presidential poll, independents say they would prefer CHARLIE SHEEN over SARAH PALIN, 41% to 36%. (Full Story)
Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene Have Broken Up . . . And Ashley Might Already Be Hooking Up with the Dude from Kings of Leon:
"Details" magazine just posted an interview with JOE JONAS, in which he says nice things about girlfriend ASHLEY GREENE. But it turns out they were ALREADY BROKEN UP when it came out. --Their reps issued a joint statement yesterday saying, quote, "We can confirm they have parted ways and have no further comment." --It's not clear exactly when they broke up, but they've been seen doing their thing separately for a few weeks now. --And on Tuesday night, Ashley was spotted at a club in New York City with JARED FOLLOWILL from KINGS OF LEON. Sources say they were, quote, "dancing and flirting." (--We heard recently that MILEY CYRUS was trying to mack on Jared.) --A source says Jared did not break Ashley and Joe up . . . quote, "They were apart a lot working. It was never that serious. It was a fun, five-month relationship." --Another source adds, quote, "They just both agreed it was time to focus on themselves." (--And in Ashley's case, she probably wanted to focus on herself HAVING SEX FOR A CHANGE.)
Billy Ray Cyrus Is Calling Off His Divorce . . . And Putting His Family Back Together:
BILLY RAY CYRUS says he and TISH are no longer getting divorced . . . and he has mended fences with MILEY. --In an interview airing on "The View" today, Billy Ray says, quote, "I've dropped the divorce. I want to put my family back together . . . Things are the best they've ever been." --"I feel like I kind of got my Miley back in a way. I feel like we're the daddy and daughter we were before 'Hannah Montana' happened. Our communication, we have laughed a lot in the last couple of days." --Oh . . . and about that show . . . Billy Ray said, quote, "I would love to set the record straight. I love 'Hannah Montana'. I love Disney. I love our fans who've been with us throughout this whole show. This has been an incredible journey." --He added that it was FAME, and not the show, that tore his family apart. (--Billy Ray was originally supposed to appear on "The View" last month, but he backed out.) --The rumor going around was that Miley forced him to pull the plug, because she was so upset about everything he said about her and "Hannah Montana" in that "GQ" interview he had recently given.)
"Playboy's" Sexiest Celebrities:
The April issue of "Playboy" will contain the magazine's annual Sexiest Celebrities list. 27 ladies made the cut. Here they are . . .
--Natalie Portman
--Hope Dworaczyk (--She's the 2010 Playmate of the Year)
--Sophie Monk
--Tara Reid (???)
--Brooke Burke
--Anna Paquin
--Kendra Wilkinson
--Halle Berry
--Model Candice Boucher
--UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste
--Sasha Grey (--She's a MATTRESS ACTRESS who's done a few LEGIT movie roles.)
--Jennifer Lopez
--British model Kelly Brook
--Michelle Williams
--Holly Madison
--Beyoncé
--Deliciously gay actress Amber Heard
--Kim Kardashian
--Pamela Anderson
--Jenni "JWoww" Farley
--Angelina Jolie
--Claire Sinclair (--"Playboy's" Miss October, 2010)
--Crystal Harris (--"Playboy's" Miss December, 2009)
--Christina Hendricks
--Megan Fox
--Olivia Wilde
--Scarlett Johansson
(--You can check out a photo gallery of all the ladies here.)
Tiger Woods Is Spending a Lot of Time with His Kids These Days:
CHARLIE SHEEN could learn a thing or two from TIGER WOODS. Tiger is spending a lot less time with porno stars these days . . . and a lot more time with his kids. --Tiger has two kids with ex-wife ELIN NORDEGREN . . . a 3-year-old daughter named Sam and a 2-year-old son named Charlie. (--How's this for coincidence: Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen both love porno stars . . . and have seen their lives implode, in part because of their sex addictions.) (--Meanwhile, they both have a daughter named Sam . . . Tiger has a son named Charlie . . . and Charlie has Tiger blood. And they say there are no higher forces at work in the world.) --On "Good Morning America" yesterday, Tiger said, quote, "It's work, there's no doubt. It's tough. But it's enjoyable. That's the work I love." --He added, quote, "I just love being with them and seeing what they're doing, what they're capable of doing . . . the joys, just the shifts of interest . . . It's just fun. We have a great time together." (--Check out video from the interview here.) (--Tiger actually joked a little bit about his sex scandal . . . and his golf game . . . on "Jimmy Fallon" Wednesday night. If you missed it, you can see a clip here.)
Sandra Bullock Has Donated $1 Million to the Relief Effort in Japan:
We'll probably be hearing more of these stories as the days and weeks progress, but SANDRA BULLOCK is the first celebrity to write a big, fat check for the relief effort in Japan. --The Red Cross announced yesterday that she donated $1 million to the cause. That's the highest celebrity donation so far . . . that we know of. The Red Cross noted that some celebrities could have made ANONYMOUS donations. --Sandra also gave $1 million to the earthquake relief effort in Haiti last year . . . and she helped rebuild a school in New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. (--You've probably seen this in a billion different places, but it never hurts to keep driving it home: You can donate $10 to the Red Cross by texting REDCROSS to 90999.)
Mel Gibson Was Booked on His Battery Charge Yesterday:
MEL GIBSON went to the El Segundo Police station yesterday to be officially booked on his misdemeanor battery charge. Police said he was, quote, "very pleasant." --Mel pleaded no contest to the charge in a deal his lawyer arranged so he could avoid jail for allegedly assaulting OKSANA GRIGORIEVA last year. He ended up with probation, counseling and community service. (--Here's his mugshot.)
Alfred the Butler from the Old-School Batman Movie Franchise Has Died:
British actor MICHAEL GOUGH . . . who played Alfred the Butler in the "Batman" movies from 1989 through 1997 . . . died yesterday. He was 94. (--I'm guessing the cause of death was . . . that he was 94.)--Gough . . . who was actually born in Malaysia . . . was in all four Batman movies that kicked off with TIM BURTON'S "Batman" in 1989 . . . and were killed off by the 1997 atrocity "Batman and Robin", starring GEORGE CLOONEY in the lead. (--Bat Trivia: Gough was one of only TWO actors to appear in all four films. The other was PAT HINGLE . . . who played Commissioner Gordon.) --Gough went on to do three more movies for Tim Burton. He plays Notary Hardenbrook in "Sleepy Hollow" . . . did the voice of Elder Gutknecht in "The Corpse Bride" . . . and the voice of the Dodo Bird in last year's "Alice in Wonderland". --Back in the day, Gough made a decent living doing British horror, and he starred in his share of classics . . . of both the A and B-movie variety. They included "Horror of Dracula" (1958), "Horrors of the Black Museum" (1959) . . . --The "King Kong" rip-off "Konga" (1961) . . . and a forgotten GEM from 1973 called "Horror Hospital".
Hackers Stole Those Nude Pics of Vanessa Hudgens . . . And They Victimized Other Celebrities, Too:
VANESSA HUDGENS was interviewed by the FBI over those nude pictures of her that hit the Internet this week. --It seems that the pictures were stolen by hackers who broke into her G-mail account. And the same people have also hacked and stolen from up to 50 other celebrities.
--They include the following . . .
--Jessica Alba
--Selena Gomez
--Demi Lovato
--Christina Aguilera
--Scarlett Johansson
--Ali Larter
--Miley Cyrus
--Busy Philipps
(--It's not clear if the hackers got anything as juicy from any of these ladies as they got from Vanessa.)
NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND
This Weekend at the Movies, Seth Rogen's an Alien . . . Bradley Cooper Uses 100% of His Brain . . . and Matthew McConaughey's a Lawyer Living in His Car:
#1.) "Paul" (R)
Seth Rogen plays an alien who escapes from Area 51 and asks "Shaun of the Dead" superstars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to help him get back to his mothership. "SNL's" Kristen Wiig plays a chick who joins them on their road trip. (Trailer) --The rest of the cast includes Jason Bateman as the federal agent hunting Paul down, Sigourney Weaver as the Area 51 boss who wants Paul dead, and Jane Lynch from "Glee" as a big-haired diner waitress. (--Enjoy the UNCENSORED trailer here.)
#2.) "Limitless" (PG-13)
Bradley Cooper takes an untested "smart drug" that allows him to use 100% of his brain. With the drug's help, he goes into business with Robert DeNiro and makes a killing on Wall Street. -But his sudden success attracts the attention of people who want to get their hands on his stash. And as the drug's brutal side effects kick in, he has to run for his life before his supply runs out. (Trailer)
#3.) "Lincoln Lawyer" (R)
Matthew McConaughey plays a lawyer working out of his car, who lands the biggest case of his career, defending a Beverly Hills playboy on an attempted murder charge. --William H. Macy plays his private investigator, Marisa Tomei is McConaughey's wife, and Ryan Phillippe is his shady client. The rest of the cast includes John Leguizamo and country singer Trace Adkins, who plays a bad ass biker. (Trailer)
Taylor Swift Has Joined the Cast of "The Lorax":
TAYLOR SWIFT has joined the cast of "The Lorax" . . . based on the classic DR. SEUSS book of the same name. --She'll provide the voice for Audrey, the love interest of ZAC EFRON'S character, Ted. DANNY DEVITO is playing the title character . . . while additional voices will be provided by ED HELMS and BETTY WHITE. The movie is due out next March.
Darren Aronosfsky Is No Longer Directing the New "Wolverine" Movie:
"Black Swan" director DARREN ARONOFSKY will no longer direct the new "Wolverine" movie. He backed out because it would have kept him out of the country for almost a year, and he didn't want to be away from his family that long. --The movie is supposed to shoot in Japan. Despite the current chaos over there, producers still hope to do so.
The "Harold & Kumar" Christmas Movie Hits Theaters in November:
"A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas" . . . and yes, that's the full title . . . will hit theaters on November 4th. And that's THIS November 4th.
TV's Biggest Moneymakers:
Forbes.com has put out their annual list of TV's Biggest Moneymakers, which estimates the amount of ad revenue TV shows bring in per 30 minutes. (--All "regularly scheduled" primetime shows were considered . . . including sports programming. Forbes.com used the "30 minutes" base so that half-hour series could be comparable to shows that are an hour or longer.)
--Not surprisingly, "American Idol" came out on top . . . by a mammoth margin . . . over the next closest show, which would be "Two and a Half Men".
--"Idol" banked $7.1 million per 30 minutes. That was actually down 12% from the year before, when it raked in $8.1 million per half-hour. Still, its rate slammed "Two and a Half Men" by over $4 million.
--These numbers were drawn from 2010 . . . before the future of "Two and a Half Men" was suddenly cast into doubt when CHARLIE SHEEN was fired. (--Charlie went from being "sort of eccentric" . . . to a catch-phrase-spouting media whore, who moonlights as a complete raving LUNATIC. You know, in case you haven't heard.)
--Here's the Top 10, and their estimated ad revenue per 30 minutes:
1.) "American Idol", Fox . . . $7.1 million
2.) "Two and a Half Men", CBS . . . $2.9 million
3.) "Desperate Housewives", ABC . . . $2.74 million
4.) "Grey's Anatomy", ABC . . . $2.67 million
5.) "Dancing with the Stars", ABC . . . $2.67 million
6.) "Lost", ABC . . . $2.6 million
7.) "The Big Bang Theory", CBS . . . $2.5 million
8.) "24", Fox . . . $2.45 million
9.) "Private Practice", ABC . . . $2.3 million
10.) "Mike and Molly", CBS . . . $2.1 million
(--By the way, three of the Top 10 shows . . . "Two and a Half Men", "The Big Bang Theory" and "Mike and Molly" . . . are the three shows currently being run by Charlie Sheen's buddy Chuck Lorre. The guy knows what he's doing.) (--For more information, you can hit up Forbes' complete report, here.)
WEEKEND TV REMINDERS
Friday TV Reminders:
--"Supernanny" [SERIES Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"My Big Redneck Wedding" [4th Season Finale] . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CMT.
--"Primetime: What Would You Do?" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--This week's scenarios include confronting laundry thieves.)
--"Flying Wild Alaska" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery.
--"20/20" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Jennifer Hudson is interviewed.)
--"Give It Up For Greg Giraldo" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 12:30 A.M. on Comedy Central. (--Jon Stewart, Sarah Silverman, Lewis Black, Jim Gaffigan, and Dave Attell pay tribute to fellow comedian Greg Giraldo.)
Saturday TV Reminders:
--"Sonisphere Festival 2010" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic. (--Slayer, Anthrax, Motley Crüe, Alice Cooper and Alice in Chains perform during the London leg of the Sonisphere Festival.)
--"Must Love Cats" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Animal Planet.
--"Dancing Crazy with Miranda Cosgrove" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on Nickelodeon. (--A behind-the-scenes look at Miranda Cosgrove's first concert tour, including concert footage, and interaction with her fans, stylist and band members.)
--"Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Patty Griffin, Emmylou Harris, Shawn Colvin and Mike Farris perform.) (REPEAT)
--"Time After Time" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on the Hallmark Channel. (--"Waltons" star Richard Thomas stars in a time travel love story, where he confronts his present day self in order to make his love life better for his future self.)
--"The Pee-Wee Herman Show on Broadway" . . . 10:00 to 11:30 P.M. on HBO. (--Paul Reubens brings a version of his Broadway revival of his famous kids television show to this HBO special.)
--"The Big 4 Live from Sofia, Bulgaria" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic. (--Anthrax, Megadeth, Metallica and Slayer perform during the Bulgarian leg of the Sonisphere Festival. For the finale, all four bands jam together on "Am I Evil?")
--"That Metal Show" [7th Season Premiere] . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic. (--Featuring Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett and former Scorpions guitarist Uli Jon Roth.)
--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Jeff Bridges guest hosts and Eminem is the musical guest.) (REPEAT)
Sunday TV Reminders:
--"Biography" . . . 7:00 A.M. to 9:00 A.M. on A&E. (--Hulk Hogan and Weird Al Yankovic are profiled.)
--"Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Fuse. (--This year's inductees include Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond, Darlene Love, Leon Russell, Tom Waits and Dr. John.)
--"Big Love" [SERIES Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on HBO.
--"Shark Tank" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"Ax Men" [4th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on History Channel.
--"My Fair Wedding with David Tutera" [4th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on WE.
--"The Cleveland Show" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe guest stars to help Lester cope with the loss of his life savings. Meanwhile Will.I.Am of The Black Eyed Peas makes up for the Super Bowl halftime mess.)
--"Detroit 1-8-7" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Fitch's nemesis threatens his family. He's played by Tommy Flanagan, who you'd know as outlaw biker Chibs on "Sons of Anarchy".)
--"Rich Bride, Poor Bride" [5th Season Finale] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on WE.
WHO IS REBECCA BLACK?
The Mystery Surrounding "Friday" Superstar Rebecca Black Is Beginning to Unravel:
Well over 14 million people have subjected themselves to REBECCA BLACK'S timeless classic, "Friday", on YouTube . . . and finally, we're starting to crack the mystery of who this girl is, and what the hell she was doing.
--But be forewarned: The new developments might make you feel bad for this girl, despite the fact that you curse her name every time "Friday" starts playing in your head on an endless loop. --First off, Rebecca is a 13-year-old eighth grader from California. She and her mother, Georgina Kelly, gave an extensive interview to TheDailyBeast.com. Here's what you need to know . . . --As we'd heard, a company called Ark Music Factory was involved . . . and as expected, they're more to blame for the "Friday" phenomenon than Rebecca is. --Rebecca and her mother purchased a $2,000 package from Ark Music Factory so that Rebecca could get some experience in the music business. For that price, they gave her the song, produced a video and unleashed it on YouTube. --Rebecca says she was given the choice between two pre-written songs. Yes, you heard that right. Despite what you may have thought, "Friday" was written by an ADULT. --She says, quote, "I didn't write it at all. The other song was about adult love . . . I haven't experienced that yet. 'Friday' is about hanging out with friends, having fun. I felt like it was my personality in that song." --That being said, Rebecca WAS aware that the lyrics were ABYSMAL. (--That's reassuring. We had a 10-year-old girl listen to "Friday", and she couldn't believe how lame it was.) But ultimately, she just went ahead with it. --Rebecca's mom says, quote, "A few times, when I heard some of the lyrics, I was like, 'That doesn't make sense. Rebecca said, 'I sang it as they wrote it, Mom.' So I didn't micromanage it." --So who did create this nonsense? That would be Ark Music boss Clarence Jey, who co-wrote and produced it. He also gave some comments in the interview, but he didn't explain his songwriting prowess. Instead, he gave Rebecca some props. --He said, quote, "Funniest part of the whole thing is Rebecca Black is actually [an] amazing singer [with] a unique tone and a fantastic, fun person. The concept we feel seems to have crossed a lot of boundaries, for the better or worse." (--If she had such an amazing voice, with "a unique tone," then why did you completely smother it with thick auto-tune. You made her sound like a robot . . . that couldn't sing.)
Rebecca Black Feels Like She's Being "Cyber-Bullied":
The visceral hate for REBECCA BLACK'S breakout hit, "Friday", seems to increase with every YouTube hit, and Rebecca is well aware of that. --She says, quote, "Those hurtful comments really shocked me. At times, it feels like I'm being cyber-bullied." --Rebecca says that Ark Music Factory DID ask her if she wanted them to take the video down, but she told them to keep it up. She explains, quote, "I decided not to give the haters the satisfaction that they got me so bad I gave up." --And she's going to continue to pursue her music career. She's planning on recording an acoustic version of "Friday", which would NOT be auto-tuned. She says, quote, "I want to show people there's more to me than they think." (--I applaud that move, although it wouldn't hurt to abandon "Friday" and sing something else . . . anything else . . . even if it's a cover of another song. I think she has enough name-recognition now to step away from "Friday".) --Not everything is bad, though. Rebecca says she has begun profiting from this insanity . . . and adds that she's going to donate some of the money to the relief efforts in Japan.
Irony of the Day: Malaysian Radio Has Censored Lady Gaga's Gay-Friendly Song "Born This Way" . . . Because It's Too Gay:
LADY GAGA'S "Born This Way", which preaches acceptance of all people regardless of things like ethnicity, disability and sexual preference, has been CENSORED on Malaysian radio. --Why? Because they don't accept all people . . . specifically gay people. --AMP Radio Networks, which is Malaysia's top private radio company, has removed Lady Gaga's gay-friendly lyrics out of fear that the local government would fine them for violating, quote, "good taste and decency, and offending public feeling." --The company explained, quote, "The [lyrics] may be considered as offensive when viewed against Malaysia's social and religious observances. The issue of being gay, lesbian or [bisexual] is still considered as a 'taboo' by general Malaysians." --Despite the fact that the whole FREAKIN' song is about acceptance and not being afraid to be who you are, only this lyric was removed: Quote, "No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgendered life, I'm on the right track, baby." --The line was replaced by an "indecipherable garble of words." (??? --Lady Gaga has not commented on this, but there's no way she'd be cool with it. Malaysian gay rights activists are calling for her to ask Malaysia to play "Born This Way" intact . . . or not at all. (--Malaysia, a predominantly Muslim country, routinely makes headlines for its censorship of Western pop acts. Usually, they're just demanding that our more provocative singers put on some clothes.) (--Here again is Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" video. The gay-friendly, Malaysian-unfriendly lyrics happen at the 5:34 mark.)
It's On: Between Courtney Love and Chelsea Handler:
COURTNEY LOVE is apparently back on Twitter after a two-month hiatus, and in typical Courtney style, she's using this opportunity to rip into CHELSEA HANDLER. --With the new handle @cloverxxxlove, Courtney Tweeted, quote, "@ChelseaHandler, I think you are a leathery idiot and rude. And beyond stupid." --She also called Chelsea a, quote, "mainstream zzzzlister with zero talent" . . . accused her of having a, quote, "man face" . . . and said she tries to be funny by, quote, "carrying around a midget." --What would Courtney have against Chelsea? Well, Chelsea is dating her ex, businessman Andre Balazs. Chelsea has not responded yet. --For the record, there's no confirmation that this IS indeed Courtney. It appears to be her account, and as Gawker.com points out, the person writing the Tweets seems to have, quote, "an encyclopedic knowledge" of her life. But it's not 100%. --By the way, @cloverxxxlove also made comments toward Kanye West, Piers Morgan, Carrie Fisher, director Brett Ratner, Arianna Huffington and Russell Crowe. (--You can hit up Courtney's alleged Twitter feed, here.)
Lil Wayne's "Tha Carter 4" Has a Release Date:
LIL WAYNE'S next album, "Tha Carter 4", will drop on May 16th. --Wayne said, quote, "'Tha Carter 4' is done . . . all they need to do is tell [my manager] to stop sitting on it . . . May 16th, believe that. It can come out tomorrow 'cause I'm so finished . . . if you're not doing anything, do me." (???) (--Here's video of Wayne announcing the date.)
FRIDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS - 1 of 2
Are RIHANNA and COLIN FARRELL dating? Depends on which anonymous source and / or sketchy blog you listen to. (Full Story)
LINDSAY LOHAN went to a club Wednesday night . . . but she swears she didn't drink. (Full Story)
37-year-old KATE MOSS has kind of a saggy butt. (Full Story)
Check out pictures of EWAN MCGREGOR riding a bike with a cute little dog in the basket. (Full Story)
BOBBI KRISTINA BROWN says she's not addicted to anything and she's not going to rehab. (Full Story)
KEVIN COSTNER has signed a deal to play Superman's adoptive "Earth father" Jonathan Kent in the upcoming Superman reboot. (Full Story)
Check out a gallery of "21 Badass 'Big Lebowski' Tattoos". (Full Story)
SHIA LABEOUF will star in the movie version of "Horns" . . . a novel by STEPHEN KING'S son JOE HILL. (Full Story)
The producers of "Glee" say the show will tackle FLEETWOOD MAC'S classic "Rumours" album at some point. They also say KRISTIN CHENOWETH will be back this season, and GWYNETH PALTROW will return next season. (Full Story)
OLIVIA MUNN celebrated St. Patricks Day by getting drunk on the "Today" show yesterday. And yeah, she actually did seem a little inebriated. (Video)
Not that it's much of a surprise, but NBC has officially renewed "The Office", "Community" and "Parks and Recreation" for another season. "30 Rock" had previously been picked up for 2011-2012. (Full Story)
MTV is bringing back "120 Minutes", which aired from 1986 to 2000, before being moved to MTV2, where it ran from 2001 to 2003. The new version will also air on MTV2. MATT PINFIELD will return as the host. (Full Story)
SIMON & GARFUNKEL are hoping to tour later this year. (Full Story)
The SMASHING PUMPKINS have released another track from their continual "Teargarden By Kaleidyscope" project. This one is called "Lightning Strikes". It's not as bad as you're probably expecting. (Audio)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
NOT-SO-STUPID NEWS
Police Busted the World's Largest Pedophile Ring . . . Arrested 184 Perverts . . . and Rescued 230 Abused Children:
It may not happen overnight, but over time, police ARE going to catch every single a-hole pedophile out there. And I've heard it's really great for them once the other people in prison find out why they're locked up. --On Wednesday, the European Union's police agency, Europol, just struck the biggest single blow against child abusers EVER, when they busted THE biggest pedophile ring in the WORLD. --Their bust focused on a web forum called BoyLover.net out of Amsterdam. --While that site didn't host any child pornography, it was a central place where pedophiles from all over the world could meet, swap pornography, and even set up those horrible "sex tourism" trips to countries like Thailand. --The site had about 70,000 registered members. In the bust, 184 people were arrested worldwide and 230 abused children were rescued from them. Police have identified hundreds of additional suspects and will go after them now as well. --Peter Davies of England's Child Protection Center says the 184 arrests are just the beginning. Quote, "Those who have been members of the site can expect a knock on the door in the near future." --The man who was running the site was arrested last year. After he was busted, as part of his plea, he provided every record he had to investigators so they could track down all of the a-holes who had used his site. (Salon.com)
Some Sketchy New Software Helps You See What Your Facebook Friends Look Like . . . Naked:
In the mood to be a gigantic, raging pervert? This right here is the Super Bowl of sketchiness. --There's a new piece of software called FalseFlesh that promises to help you see what your Facebook friends look like . . . NAKED. --Sort of. What it really does is take your friend's head and then pastes it on an appropriate naked body . . . a body with the same skin tone, size, et cetera. A few tweaks to the lighting, and now it looks like you're seeing the person naked. --Of course, you could do this in Photoshop or any of the other millions of photo editing programs out there. But in those cases you'd have to find the proper nude bodies yourself, do the cutting and pasting, tweak the lighting, and more. --Basically, this is the first program with the SPECIFIC purpose of taking innocent people's photos and turning them into realistic-looking nude photos. Can't see THIS leading to any lawsuits down the road, right? --The site's testimonials are fittingly creepy. Quote, "My girlfriend has a really smoking hot younger sister. I had always been curious [how] she looked naked. FalseFlesh let me do this and also stay out of trouble with the GF." --FalseFlesh isn't cheap . . . they want $35 for it. But if you're a beginner when it comes to photo editing . . . you've got money to spare . . . a tenuous grip on the blurring between reality and fantasy . . . and you're a pervert . . . it's perfect. (Salon.com)
There's a Difference Between Your "Sexual Prime" and Your "Genital Prime" . . . Which Is Why You Have Your Best Sex Once You're Middle Aged:
Whenever people talk about "sexual prime," they talk about men in their late teens and early 20s, and women in their late 20s and early 30s. --But if that's the case . . . why are your parents going to town on each other every night and having the best sex of their lives? (--No apologies made for putting that mental image in your head. You're an adult. Deal with it.) --David Schnarch is a sex therapist, and he has an explanation. David says that we tend to confuse our "GENITAL PRIME" with our "sexual prime." --The genital prime is what happens when you're younger. Your body is in its best shape so you're physically capable of being a sexual Olympian. --BUT . . . you still don't really know anything about sex. That's why your sexual prime happens in middle age or later . . . after you really "get" sex. --You know what you want, your partner knows what they want, and you both understand how to work together to make sure you're both getting maximum satisfaction . . . maximum satisfaction from middle-aged humping. (--CAREFUL!) Quote, "Celebrate what improves with age: Younger men may have stronger erections, but older guys have better control. You've perfected your bedroom technique, and you feel less inhibited than you did in the past." (CNN)
The Average Woman Finds True Love After Kissing 22 Men . . . And Having One-Night Stands With Six:
A new survey tried to figure out exactly how much a woman has to go through before she finds TRUE LOVE. And here's what they found. Not to spoil the fun and excitement of your future. Just try to act surprised when all this happens . . . --The average woman KISSES 22 guys before she settles down with one for good. --She has an average of SIX one-night stands. --She has four long-term relationships. --She dumps five guys, whether they're in long-term relationships or just dating. --She gets dumped four times. --And she is cheated on FOUR TIMES. --As for how long it takes men to find true love, the survey didn't go as in-depth. They did say that the average guy will kiss 23 women, have 10 one-night stands, and have his heart broken six times before he finds The One. (PR Newswire)
Diet Coke Has Passed Pepsi to Become the Second Most Popular Soda:
My entire life, the top two sodas in this country have been the same: Coke has always been number one, Pepsi has always been number two. In 2010, that changed. --Coke is still untouchable at number one. But Pepsi was NOT the second-most popular soda in the country. It lost out to . . . DIET COKE. --Coca-Cola Classic had a 17% market share . . . Diet Coke had a 9.9% market share . . . and Pepsi slipped down to third with a 9.5% market share. --The rest of the top 10 goes: Mountain Dew . . . Dr. Pepper . . . Sprite . . . Diet Pepsi . . . Diet Mountain Dew . . . Diet Dr. Pepper . . . and Fanta. --The 11th most popular was Coke Zero. --Pepsi is still the number two COMPANY behind Coca-Cola, just not the number two soda. Coke has a 42% market share overall, PepsiCo has 29.3%. Dr. Pepper-Snapple is in a distant third place with a 16.7% share. --The rest of the top 10 are Cott, which makes RC Cola . . . National Beverage, with makes Faygo and Shasta . . . Hansen Natural . . . Red Bull . . . Big Red . . . Rockstar . . . and then a bunch of small private label companies. (The Consumerist)
Law School Applications are Way Down . . . It Seems People Have Finally Realized That Law School Isn't a Guaranteed Path To Wealth:
In the past decade, there's been an EXPLOSION in law school applications. Kids were finishing college . . . realizing their liberal arts degree was going to max them out around $40k a year . . . and saying, "Well, I guess I'll go to law school." --That's led to a HUGE number of people with law degrees and six figure law school debt . . . and not even close to enough jobs for all of them. --Plus, law firms are downsizing, and even as litigious as America is, we don't need a one-to-one ratio of lawyers to residents. --Well . . . it looks like college graduates have finally wised up. Law school applications are down 11.5% this year from a year ago. If these numbers hold up, it'll be the smallest pool of applicants since 2001. (Gawker)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS
An Angry Girlfriend Bites Off Her Boyfriend's Package . . . And Amazingly, Doctors are Able To Reattach It:
I know we like to give modern medicine a lot of grief, seeing as it's 2011 and they still haven't cured cancer. But if THIS is what they're focusing their efforts on instead, we really can't argue. --Recently in Newcastle, England, 45-year-old Martin Douglas and his girlfriend, 43-year-old Maria Topp, were out until 4:00 A.M. drinking. When they got home, they started arguing. --Martin passed out drunk . . . but Maria still wanted to strike the winning blow in the argument. (--CAREFUL!) So . . . she BIT OFF his TESTES. --He was rushed to the hospital, where doctors were able to fully treat him. It took several surgeries, but everything was back together and working within a week. --Maria was arrested and charged with causing grievous bodily harm. She'll be in court next month. (Daily Mirror)
In Michigan, a Man is Busted For Being Married To Two Women . . . When He Posts His Second Wedding Photos on Facebook:
Last July, 34-year-old Richard Leon Barton Jr. of Grand Rapids, Michigan got married. And he was so excited about it, he posted the photos on Facebook. --There was only one problem. See . . . Richard already HAD a wife. She lives in Rhode Island. They were estranged, but never divorced. --Richard figured she wouldn't see the new wedding photos because right before he posted them, he DEFRIENDED her. --But the defriending just made her SUSPICIOUS. --She was still Facebook friends with some of his family members and friends, so she went digging around on their pages and found a bunch of photos of them at Richard's second wedding. That's when she called the police. --The Rhode Island state police contacted Grand Rapids, and Richard was arrested for POLYGAMY. He could get up to four years in prison. (Grand Rapids Press) (--You can see his photo here. And, yes, you will ask yourself how the HELL this guy got one woman to marry him, let alone two.)
A Man is Stopped For Speeding and Runs From His Car . . . Leaving $80,000, Seven Pounds of Reefer, and His Six-Year-Old Son Behind:
When 28-year-old Monroe LeBeau of Norcross, Georgia was pulled over on Tuesday night, he believed he was completely EFFED. And he probably was. But the way he handled the situation made things SO, SO much worse -On Tuesday, an officer clocked LeBeau doing 49 in a 35 in his Dodge Charger. The officer pulled him over. -LeBeau decided to make a run for it on foot. --And that was the problem. He left everything in his car, including $80,000 in cash . . . seven pounds of reefer . . . and, worst of all, HIS SIX-YEAR-OLD SON. --Seriously. He left the kid in the backseat, without a seatbelt on, and the door to the car was open toward traffic. The kid was bawling. --Some officers chased after LeBeau and easily tracked him down with their K-9 unit. On the bright side, the dogs did BITE HIM twice. --He was charged with obstruction, attempted robbery, reckless conduct, possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, a seatbelt violation, speeding, and failure to maintain his lane. His son was placed with a relative. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
A Bank Robber In Ohio Was Caught When He Used a Public Bus as His Getaway Vehicle:
I get the feeling from this story that Lonnie Johnson of Dayton, Ohio isn't exactly a master criminal. It's not that his plan for a bank heist was less than genius. It's that he didn't plan it AT ALL. --On Wednesday morning, Lonnie walked into a KeyBank branch in Dayton and demanded money. And that actually worked . . . the teller gave him some cash and he took off. --But it seems that's where the plan ended. Because Lonnie didn't have a getaway car waiting for him. No, his getaway vehicle of choice was . . . a PUBLIC BUS. --Several witnesses watched him board the bus . . . and they called the police to report which bus he was on. --The cops followed the bus and, a few stops later, they got on and arrested Lonnie. --He's been charged with bank robbery. And it turns out he has a previous bank robbery conviction too. (Dayton Daily News)
A Woman Calls the Police To Tell Them Someone Stole Her Home Stripper Pole:
Last week, a 19-year-old woman from Palm City, Florida, whose name wasn't released, broke up with her boyfriend. She was living with him, so she decided to move out. --When she got home from work and started to pack up, she noticed one of her prized possessions was missing . . . her 15-foot HOME STRIPPER POLE. --The pole cost her $400. She says someone would've had to disassemble it to remove it. The police currently don't have any suspects. (Treasure Coast Palm)
A San Francisco City Worker is Busted For Disability Fraud After She Runs In a Marathon:
In 2007, 34-year-old Emily Hegner was working at the San Francisco Department of Public Health and she said she hurt her lower back, hip, and wrist on the job. She's been collecting disability ever since and says she needs to walk with a CANE. --She was lying. And she got away with it too, until the city ran a search on Emily and found out she'd run a seven-mile portion of a MARATHON . . . six days before she had a visit with her doctor where she showed up with her usual cane and fake limp. --She's been hit with 10 felony charges for insurance fraud, preparing false documents, and grand theft. She could get almost 10 years in prison and will have to pay back all the money she's illegally received. (San Francisco Appeal)
STUPID NEWS EXTRAS
Finally! The neighbors of a guy arrested for kidnapping, assault, and torture DON'T say he was quiet and kept to himself. Instead, they say he was weird, nosy, and bossy. (Full Story)
Tsunami Intsanity Part One: Passengers arriving from Tokyo are setting off radiation detectors at U.S. airports. (Full Story)
Tsunami Intsanity Part Two: A new study says that red wine can protect you from radiation. (Full Story)
Weak sauce: A regional champion girls high school basketball team in Wisconsin had to forfeit a playoff game for the state championship . . . because 9 of the 11 players decided to go on the school band trip instead. (Full Story)
Photos of the Day: Basset Hounds . . . running on the beach. That is all. (Full Story)
Not-Stupid-News: A transplant patient contracted AIDS from the kidney of a living donor . . . because the donor had unprotected gay sex in the 11 weeks between the time he tested negative and the time the surgery took place. (Full Story)
STUPID VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A Japanese Cartoon Explains the Nuclear Disaster . . . By Comparing it to a Child Pooping His Pants:
If you're having trouble understanding the crisis at Japan's damaged nuclear plant, maybe this will help: Someone in Japan made a cartoon about it for children, and compared it to a little kid crapping his pants. --First, the narrator explains that a character called "Nuclear Boy" had a stomachache. Then he PASSED GAS, but nothing SOLID came out, which is good. --And apparently Japanese kids learn about the Periodic Table of Elements a lot earlier than we do, because there's one part where it talks about the chemical "boron" being used to help make sure Nuclear Boy doesn't get too hot. --If that happens, it says he could have "diarrhea" like "Chernobyl Boy" did. (--Search for "Nuclear Boy Cartoon.")
#2.) Check Out an Acting Reel for the "World's Greatest Extra":
All mildly successful actors in Hollywood have acting reels that showcase scenes from the movies and TV shows they've been in. --But there's a new video on YouTube called "World's Greatest Extra", that features the work of a nerdy looking actor named JESSE HEIMAN. You won't recognize his name, but you might know him when you see him. --According to IMDB, he's been in almost 50 different TV shows and movies since 2001, but in almost all of them he's either been an extra in the background, or a character that wasn't important enough to get a name. --The video includes clips of him playing "Nerd #1" on an episode of "Entourage", "American Idol Hopeful" on an episode of "Reno 911", "Student" in the movie "The Social Network", "Student on Couch" in the movie "Van Wilder", and 21 more.
Five Spring Date Ideas:
The first day of spring is this Sunday. So to get you ready for the warmer temperatures, we've got a list of five spring date ideas.
#1.) Wine Tasting. Take a trip out to a winery for the weekend. (--You can find one near you here.) Or if that's out of your budget right now, look up some local restaurants and wine shops that offer wine tastings.
#2.) The Farmer's Market. Spring will bring tons of berries and fresh produce to your local farmer's market. So spend an afternoon strolling through the aisles . . . then have a picnic with whatever you buy.
#3.) The Zoo or Botanical Garden. It's cheap, it leaves a lot of room for conversation, and it's outside so you can appreciate the nicer weather.
#4.) Your Own "Spring Break". Sure, you might not be in college anymore, but that doesn't mean you can't have your own spring break. So find some cheap airfare and head to the beach for a weekend.
#5.) A Baseball Game. A crowded baseball stadium is the perfect setting for a spring date: you're outside, the game will leave lots of time to talk, and the seats are cramped so you'll be in close contact with each other. (SheKnows.com)
Charlie Sheen Has Added Several New Dates to His Live Show:
CHARLIE SHEEN has added several new dates to his "Violent Torpedo of Truth / Defeat Is Not an Option" tour. There are now 20 dates in all, including two in Canada. --And the tickets continue to sell like crazy. The April 8th show at Radio City Music Hall in New York sold out in about 30 minutes . . . so he added another one on April 10th. --Last we heard, that show had almost sold out, too, but there were a few seats still available. (--Radio City has 6,000 seats, and tickets go for between 80 bucks and $519. Or you can pay $750 for a meet-and-greet with Charlie.) (--For all the dates, and to buy tickets, click here.)
Random Sheen-Anigans:
#1.) Did CHARLIE SHEEN threaten DENISE RICHARDS with physical violence because she wouldn't let him do a photo op with his daughters? (Full Story)
#2.) DENNIS HAYSBERT . . . who played slugger Pedro Cerrano in all three "Major League" movies . . . doesn't think Charlie can actually get another one made. (Full Story)
#3.) The Biography Channel is getting in on the CHARLIE SHEEN exploitation business. They're running a one-hour special on Charlie Sunday night at 9:00 P.M., just one hour before TLC airs theirs.
#4.) In a new presidential poll, independents say they would prefer CHARLIE SHEEN over SARAH PALIN, 41% to 36%. (Full Story)
Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene Have Broken Up . . . And Ashley Might Already Be Hooking Up with the Dude from Kings of Leon:
"Details" magazine just posted an interview with JOE JONAS, in which he says nice things about girlfriend ASHLEY GREENE. But it turns out they were ALREADY BROKEN UP when it came out. --Their reps issued a joint statement yesterday saying, quote, "We can confirm they have parted ways and have no further comment." --It's not clear exactly when they broke up, but they've been seen doing their thing separately for a few weeks now. --And on Tuesday night, Ashley was spotted at a club in New York City with JARED FOLLOWILL from KINGS OF LEON. Sources say they were, quote, "dancing and flirting." (--We heard recently that MILEY CYRUS was trying to mack on Jared.) --A source says Jared did not break Ashley and Joe up . . . quote, "They were apart a lot working. It was never that serious. It was a fun, five-month relationship." --Another source adds, quote, "They just both agreed it was time to focus on themselves." (--And in Ashley's case, she probably wanted to focus on herself HAVING SEX FOR A CHANGE.)
Billy Ray Cyrus Is Calling Off His Divorce . . . And Putting His Family Back Together:
BILLY RAY CYRUS says he and TISH are no longer getting divorced . . . and he has mended fences with MILEY. --In an interview airing on "The View" today, Billy Ray says, quote, "I've dropped the divorce. I want to put my family back together . . . Things are the best they've ever been." --"I feel like I kind of got my Miley back in a way. I feel like we're the daddy and daughter we were before 'Hannah Montana' happened. Our communication, we have laughed a lot in the last couple of days." --Oh . . . and about that show . . . Billy Ray said, quote, "I would love to set the record straight. I love 'Hannah Montana'. I love Disney. I love our fans who've been with us throughout this whole show. This has been an incredible journey." --He added that it was FAME, and not the show, that tore his family apart. (--Billy Ray was originally supposed to appear on "The View" last month, but he backed out.) --The rumor going around was that Miley forced him to pull the plug, because she was so upset about everything he said about her and "Hannah Montana" in that "GQ" interview he had recently given.)
"Playboy's" Sexiest Celebrities:
The April issue of "Playboy" will contain the magazine's annual Sexiest Celebrities list. 27 ladies made the cut. Here they are . . .
--Natalie Portman
--Hope Dworaczyk (--She's the 2010 Playmate of the Year)
--Sophie Monk
--Tara Reid (???)
--Brooke Burke
--Anna Paquin
--Kendra Wilkinson
--Halle Berry
--Model Candice Boucher
--UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste
--Sasha Grey (--She's a MATTRESS ACTRESS who's done a few LEGIT movie roles.)
--Jennifer Lopez
--British model Kelly Brook
--Michelle Williams
--Holly Madison
--Beyoncé
--Deliciously gay actress Amber Heard
--Kim Kardashian
--Pamela Anderson
--Jenni "JWoww" Farley
--Angelina Jolie
--Claire Sinclair (--"Playboy's" Miss October, 2010)
--Crystal Harris (--"Playboy's" Miss December, 2009)
--Christina Hendricks
--Megan Fox
--Olivia Wilde
--Scarlett Johansson
(--You can check out a photo gallery of all the ladies here.)
Tiger Woods Is Spending a Lot of Time with His Kids These Days:
CHARLIE SHEEN could learn a thing or two from TIGER WOODS. Tiger is spending a lot less time with porno stars these days . . . and a lot more time with his kids. --Tiger has two kids with ex-wife ELIN NORDEGREN . . . a 3-year-old daughter named Sam and a 2-year-old son named Charlie. (--How's this for coincidence: Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen both love porno stars . . . and have seen their lives implode, in part because of their sex addictions.) (--Meanwhile, they both have a daughter named Sam . . . Tiger has a son named Charlie . . . and Charlie has Tiger blood. And they say there are no higher forces at work in the world.) --On "Good Morning America" yesterday, Tiger said, quote, "It's work, there's no doubt. It's tough. But it's enjoyable. That's the work I love." --He added, quote, "I just love being with them and seeing what they're doing, what they're capable of doing . . . the joys, just the shifts of interest . . . It's just fun. We have a great time together." (--Check out video from the interview here.) (--Tiger actually joked a little bit about his sex scandal . . . and his golf game . . . on "Jimmy Fallon" Wednesday night. If you missed it, you can see a clip here.)
Sandra Bullock Has Donated $1 Million to the Relief Effort in Japan:
We'll probably be hearing more of these stories as the days and weeks progress, but SANDRA BULLOCK is the first celebrity to write a big, fat check for the relief effort in Japan. --The Red Cross announced yesterday that she donated $1 million to the cause. That's the highest celebrity donation so far . . . that we know of. The Red Cross noted that some celebrities could have made ANONYMOUS donations. --Sandra also gave $1 million to the earthquake relief effort in Haiti last year . . . and she helped rebuild a school in New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. (--You've probably seen this in a billion different places, but it never hurts to keep driving it home: You can donate $10 to the Red Cross by texting REDCROSS to 90999.)
Mel Gibson Was Booked on His Battery Charge Yesterday:
MEL GIBSON went to the El Segundo Police station yesterday to be officially booked on his misdemeanor battery charge. Police said he was, quote, "very pleasant." --Mel pleaded no contest to the charge in a deal his lawyer arranged so he could avoid jail for allegedly assaulting OKSANA GRIGORIEVA last year. He ended up with probation, counseling and community service. (--Here's his mugshot.)
Alfred the Butler from the Old-School Batman Movie Franchise Has Died:
British actor MICHAEL GOUGH . . . who played Alfred the Butler in the "Batman" movies from 1989 through 1997 . . . died yesterday. He was 94. (--I'm guessing the cause of death was . . . that he was 94.)--Gough . . . who was actually born in Malaysia . . . was in all four Batman movies that kicked off with TIM BURTON'S "Batman" in 1989 . . . and were killed off by the 1997 atrocity "Batman and Robin", starring GEORGE CLOONEY in the lead. (--Bat Trivia: Gough was one of only TWO actors to appear in all four films. The other was PAT HINGLE . . . who played Commissioner Gordon.) --Gough went on to do three more movies for Tim Burton. He plays Notary Hardenbrook in "Sleepy Hollow" . . . did the voice of Elder Gutknecht in "The Corpse Bride" . . . and the voice of the Dodo Bird in last year's "Alice in Wonderland". --Back in the day, Gough made a decent living doing British horror, and he starred in his share of classics . . . of both the A and B-movie variety. They included "Horror of Dracula" (1958), "Horrors of the Black Museum" (1959) . . . --The "King Kong" rip-off "Konga" (1961) . . . and a forgotten GEM from 1973 called "Horror Hospital".
Hackers Stole Those Nude Pics of Vanessa Hudgens . . . And They Victimized Other Celebrities, Too:
VANESSA HUDGENS was interviewed by the FBI over those nude pictures of her that hit the Internet this week. --It seems that the pictures were stolen by hackers who broke into her G-mail account. And the same people have also hacked and stolen from up to 50 other celebrities.
--They include the following . . .
--Jessica Alba
--Selena Gomez
--Demi Lovato
--Christina Aguilera
--Scarlett Johansson
--Ali Larter
--Miley Cyrus
--Busy Philipps
(--It's not clear if the hackers got anything as juicy from any of these ladies as they got from Vanessa.)
NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND
This Weekend at the Movies, Seth Rogen's an Alien . . . Bradley Cooper Uses 100% of His Brain . . . and Matthew McConaughey's a Lawyer Living in His Car:
#1.) "Paul" (R)
Seth Rogen plays an alien who escapes from Area 51 and asks "Shaun of the Dead" superstars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to help him get back to his mothership. "SNL's" Kristen Wiig plays a chick who joins them on their road trip. (Trailer) --The rest of the cast includes Jason Bateman as the federal agent hunting Paul down, Sigourney Weaver as the Area 51 boss who wants Paul dead, and Jane Lynch from "Glee" as a big-haired diner waitress. (--Enjoy the UNCENSORED trailer here.)
#2.) "Limitless" (PG-13)
Bradley Cooper takes an untested "smart drug" that allows him to use 100% of his brain. With the drug's help, he goes into business with Robert DeNiro and makes a killing on Wall Street. -But his sudden success attracts the attention of people who want to get their hands on his stash. And as the drug's brutal side effects kick in, he has to run for his life before his supply runs out. (Trailer)
#3.) "Lincoln Lawyer" (R)
Matthew McConaughey plays a lawyer working out of his car, who lands the biggest case of his career, defending a Beverly Hills playboy on an attempted murder charge. --William H. Macy plays his private investigator, Marisa Tomei is McConaughey's wife, and Ryan Phillippe is his shady client. The rest of the cast includes John Leguizamo and country singer Trace Adkins, who plays a bad ass biker. (Trailer)
Taylor Swift Has Joined the Cast of "The Lorax":
TAYLOR SWIFT has joined the cast of "The Lorax" . . . based on the classic DR. SEUSS book of the same name. --She'll provide the voice for Audrey, the love interest of ZAC EFRON'S character, Ted. DANNY DEVITO is playing the title character . . . while additional voices will be provided by ED HELMS and BETTY WHITE. The movie is due out next March.
Darren Aronosfsky Is No Longer Directing the New "Wolverine" Movie:
"Black Swan" director DARREN ARONOFSKY will no longer direct the new "Wolverine" movie. He backed out because it would have kept him out of the country for almost a year, and he didn't want to be away from his family that long. --The movie is supposed to shoot in Japan. Despite the current chaos over there, producers still hope to do so.
The "Harold & Kumar" Christmas Movie Hits Theaters in November:
"A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas" . . . and yes, that's the full title . . . will hit theaters on November 4th. And that's THIS November 4th.
TV's Biggest Moneymakers:
Forbes.com has put out their annual list of TV's Biggest Moneymakers, which estimates the amount of ad revenue TV shows bring in per 30 minutes. (--All "regularly scheduled" primetime shows were considered . . . including sports programming. Forbes.com used the "30 minutes" base so that half-hour series could be comparable to shows that are an hour or longer.)
--Not surprisingly, "American Idol" came out on top . . . by a mammoth margin . . . over the next closest show, which would be "Two and a Half Men".
--"Idol" banked $7.1 million per 30 minutes. That was actually down 12% from the year before, when it raked in $8.1 million per half-hour. Still, its rate slammed "Two and a Half Men" by over $4 million.
--These numbers were drawn from 2010 . . . before the future of "Two and a Half Men" was suddenly cast into doubt when CHARLIE SHEEN was fired. (--Charlie went from being "sort of eccentric" . . . to a catch-phrase-spouting media whore, who moonlights as a complete raving LUNATIC. You know, in case you haven't heard.)
--Here's the Top 10, and their estimated ad revenue per 30 minutes:
1.) "American Idol", Fox . . . $7.1 million
2.) "Two and a Half Men", CBS . . . $2.9 million
3.) "Desperate Housewives", ABC . . . $2.74 million
4.) "Grey's Anatomy", ABC . . . $2.67 million
5.) "Dancing with the Stars", ABC . . . $2.67 million
6.) "Lost", ABC . . . $2.6 million
7.) "The Big Bang Theory", CBS . . . $2.5 million
8.) "24", Fox . . . $2.45 million
9.) "Private Practice", ABC . . . $2.3 million
10.) "Mike and Molly", CBS . . . $2.1 million
(--By the way, three of the Top 10 shows . . . "Two and a Half Men", "The Big Bang Theory" and "Mike and Molly" . . . are the three shows currently being run by Charlie Sheen's buddy Chuck Lorre. The guy knows what he's doing.) (--For more information, you can hit up Forbes' complete report, here.)
WEEKEND TV REMINDERS
Friday TV Reminders:
--"Supernanny" [SERIES Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"My Big Redneck Wedding" [4th Season Finale] . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CMT.
--"Primetime: What Would You Do?" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--This week's scenarios include confronting laundry thieves.)
--"Flying Wild Alaska" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery.
--"20/20" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Jennifer Hudson is interviewed.)
--"Give It Up For Greg Giraldo" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 12:30 A.M. on Comedy Central. (--Jon Stewart, Sarah Silverman, Lewis Black, Jim Gaffigan, and Dave Attell pay tribute to fellow comedian Greg Giraldo.)
Saturday TV Reminders:
--"Sonisphere Festival 2010" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic. (--Slayer, Anthrax, Motley Crüe, Alice Cooper and Alice in Chains perform during the London leg of the Sonisphere Festival.)
--"Must Love Cats" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Animal Planet.
--"Dancing Crazy with Miranda Cosgrove" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on Nickelodeon. (--A behind-the-scenes look at Miranda Cosgrove's first concert tour, including concert footage, and interaction with her fans, stylist and band members.)
--"Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Patty Griffin, Emmylou Harris, Shawn Colvin and Mike Farris perform.) (REPEAT)
--"Time After Time" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on the Hallmark Channel. (--"Waltons" star Richard Thomas stars in a time travel love story, where he confronts his present day self in order to make his love life better for his future self.)
--"The Pee-Wee Herman Show on Broadway" . . . 10:00 to 11:30 P.M. on HBO. (--Paul Reubens brings a version of his Broadway revival of his famous kids television show to this HBO special.)
--"The Big 4 Live from Sofia, Bulgaria" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic. (--Anthrax, Megadeth, Metallica and Slayer perform during the Bulgarian leg of the Sonisphere Festival. For the finale, all four bands jam together on "Am I Evil?")
--"That Metal Show" [7th Season Premiere] . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic. (--Featuring Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett and former Scorpions guitarist Uli Jon Roth.)
--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Jeff Bridges guest hosts and Eminem is the musical guest.) (REPEAT)
Sunday TV Reminders:
--"Biography" . . . 7:00 A.M. to 9:00 A.M. on A&E. (--Hulk Hogan and Weird Al Yankovic are profiled.)
--"Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Fuse. (--This year's inductees include Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond, Darlene Love, Leon Russell, Tom Waits and Dr. John.)
--"Big Love" [SERIES Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on HBO.
--"Shark Tank" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"Ax Men" [4th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on History Channel.
--"My Fair Wedding with David Tutera" [4th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on WE.
--"The Cleveland Show" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe guest stars to help Lester cope with the loss of his life savings. Meanwhile Will.I.Am of The Black Eyed Peas makes up for the Super Bowl halftime mess.)
--"Detroit 1-8-7" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Fitch's nemesis threatens his family. He's played by Tommy Flanagan, who you'd know as outlaw biker Chibs on "Sons of Anarchy".)
--"Rich Bride, Poor Bride" [5th Season Finale] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on WE.
WHO IS REBECCA BLACK?
The Mystery Surrounding "Friday" Superstar Rebecca Black Is Beginning to Unravel:
Well over 14 million people have subjected themselves to REBECCA BLACK'S timeless classic, "Friday", on YouTube . . . and finally, we're starting to crack the mystery of who this girl is, and what the hell she was doing.
--But be forewarned: The new developments might make you feel bad for this girl, despite the fact that you curse her name every time "Friday" starts playing in your head on an endless loop. --First off, Rebecca is a 13-year-old eighth grader from California. She and her mother, Georgina Kelly, gave an extensive interview to TheDailyBeast.com. Here's what you need to know . . . --As we'd heard, a company called Ark Music Factory was involved . . . and as expected, they're more to blame for the "Friday" phenomenon than Rebecca is. --Rebecca and her mother purchased a $2,000 package from Ark Music Factory so that Rebecca could get some experience in the music business. For that price, they gave her the song, produced a video and unleashed it on YouTube. --Rebecca says she was given the choice between two pre-written songs. Yes, you heard that right. Despite what you may have thought, "Friday" was written by an ADULT. --She says, quote, "I didn't write it at all. The other song was about adult love . . . I haven't experienced that yet. 'Friday' is about hanging out with friends, having fun. I felt like it was my personality in that song." --That being said, Rebecca WAS aware that the lyrics were ABYSMAL. (--That's reassuring. We had a 10-year-old girl listen to "Friday", and she couldn't believe how lame it was.) But ultimately, she just went ahead with it. --Rebecca's mom says, quote, "A few times, when I heard some of the lyrics, I was like, 'That doesn't make sense. Rebecca said, 'I sang it as they wrote it, Mom.' So I didn't micromanage it." --So who did create this nonsense? That would be Ark Music boss Clarence Jey, who co-wrote and produced it. He also gave some comments in the interview, but he didn't explain his songwriting prowess. Instead, he gave Rebecca some props. --He said, quote, "Funniest part of the whole thing is Rebecca Black is actually [an] amazing singer [with] a unique tone and a fantastic, fun person. The concept we feel seems to have crossed a lot of boundaries, for the better or worse." (--If she had such an amazing voice, with "a unique tone," then why did you completely smother it with thick auto-tune. You made her sound like a robot . . . that couldn't sing.)
Rebecca Black Feels Like She's Being "Cyber-Bullied":
The visceral hate for REBECCA BLACK'S breakout hit, "Friday", seems to increase with every YouTube hit, and Rebecca is well aware of that. --She says, quote, "Those hurtful comments really shocked me. At times, it feels like I'm being cyber-bullied." --Rebecca says that Ark Music Factory DID ask her if she wanted them to take the video down, but she told them to keep it up. She explains, quote, "I decided not to give the haters the satisfaction that they got me so bad I gave up." --And she's going to continue to pursue her music career. She's planning on recording an acoustic version of "Friday", which would NOT be auto-tuned. She says, quote, "I want to show people there's more to me than they think." (--I applaud that move, although it wouldn't hurt to abandon "Friday" and sing something else . . . anything else . . . even if it's a cover of another song. I think she has enough name-recognition now to step away from "Friday".) --Not everything is bad, though. Rebecca says she has begun profiting from this insanity . . . and adds that she's going to donate some of the money to the relief efforts in Japan.
Irony of the Day: Malaysian Radio Has Censored Lady Gaga's Gay-Friendly Song "Born This Way" . . . Because It's Too Gay:
LADY GAGA'S "Born This Way", which preaches acceptance of all people regardless of things like ethnicity, disability and sexual preference, has been CENSORED on Malaysian radio. --Why? Because they don't accept all people . . . specifically gay people. --AMP Radio Networks, which is Malaysia's top private radio company, has removed Lady Gaga's gay-friendly lyrics out of fear that the local government would fine them for violating, quote, "good taste and decency, and offending public feeling." --The company explained, quote, "The [lyrics] may be considered as offensive when viewed against Malaysia's social and religious observances. The issue of being gay, lesbian or [bisexual] is still considered as a 'taboo' by general Malaysians." --Despite the fact that the whole FREAKIN' song is about acceptance and not being afraid to be who you are, only this lyric was removed: Quote, "No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgendered life, I'm on the right track, baby." --The line was replaced by an "indecipherable garble of words." (??? --Lady Gaga has not commented on this, but there's no way she'd be cool with it. Malaysian gay rights activists are calling for her to ask Malaysia to play "Born This Way" intact . . . or not at all. (--Malaysia, a predominantly Muslim country, routinely makes headlines for its censorship of Western pop acts. Usually, they're just demanding that our more provocative singers put on some clothes.) (--Here again is Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" video. The gay-friendly, Malaysian-unfriendly lyrics happen at the 5:34 mark.)
It's On: Between Courtney Love and Chelsea Handler:
COURTNEY LOVE is apparently back on Twitter after a two-month hiatus, and in typical Courtney style, she's using this opportunity to rip into CHELSEA HANDLER. --With the new handle @cloverxxxlove, Courtney Tweeted, quote, "@ChelseaHandler, I think you are a leathery idiot and rude. And beyond stupid." --She also called Chelsea a, quote, "mainstream zzzzlister with zero talent" . . . accused her of having a, quote, "man face" . . . and said she tries to be funny by, quote, "carrying around a midget." --What would Courtney have against Chelsea? Well, Chelsea is dating her ex, businessman Andre Balazs. Chelsea has not responded yet. --For the record, there's no confirmation that this IS indeed Courtney. It appears to be her account, and as Gawker.com points out, the person writing the Tweets seems to have, quote, "an encyclopedic knowledge" of her life. But it's not 100%. --By the way, @cloverxxxlove also made comments toward Kanye West, Piers Morgan, Carrie Fisher, director Brett Ratner, Arianna Huffington and Russell Crowe. (--You can hit up Courtney's alleged Twitter feed, here.)
Lil Wayne's "Tha Carter 4" Has a Release Date:
LIL WAYNE'S next album, "Tha Carter 4", will drop on May 16th. --Wayne said, quote, "'Tha Carter 4' is done . . . all they need to do is tell [my manager] to stop sitting on it . . . May 16th, believe that. It can come out tomorrow 'cause I'm so finished . . . if you're not doing anything, do me." (???) (--Here's video of Wayne announcing the date.)
FRIDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS - 1 of 2
Are RIHANNA and COLIN FARRELL dating? Depends on which anonymous source and / or sketchy blog you listen to. (Full Story)
LINDSAY LOHAN went to a club Wednesday night . . . but she swears she didn't drink. (Full Story)
37-year-old KATE MOSS has kind of a saggy butt. (Full Story)
Check out pictures of EWAN MCGREGOR riding a bike with a cute little dog in the basket. (Full Story)
BOBBI KRISTINA BROWN says she's not addicted to anything and she's not going to rehab. (Full Story)
KEVIN COSTNER has signed a deal to play Superman's adoptive "Earth father" Jonathan Kent in the upcoming Superman reboot. (Full Story)
Check out a gallery of "21 Badass 'Big Lebowski' Tattoos". (Full Story)
SHIA LABEOUF will star in the movie version of "Horns" . . . a novel by STEPHEN KING'S son JOE HILL. (Full Story)
The producers of "Glee" say the show will tackle FLEETWOOD MAC'S classic "Rumours" album at some point. They also say KRISTIN CHENOWETH will be back this season, and GWYNETH PALTROW will return next season. (Full Story)
OLIVIA MUNN celebrated St. Patricks Day by getting drunk on the "Today" show yesterday. And yeah, she actually did seem a little inebriated. (Video)
Not that it's much of a surprise, but NBC has officially renewed "The Office", "Community" and "Parks and Recreation" for another season. "30 Rock" had previously been picked up for 2011-2012. (Full Story)
MTV is bringing back "120 Minutes", which aired from 1986 to 2000, before being moved to MTV2, where it ran from 2001 to 2003. The new version will also air on MTV2. MATT PINFIELD will return as the host. (Full Story)
SIMON & GARFUNKEL are hoping to tour later this year. (Full Story)
The SMASHING PUMPKINS have released another track from their continual "Teargarden By Kaleidyscope" project. This one is called "Lightning Strikes". It's not as bad as you're probably expecting. (Audio)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
NOT-SO-STUPID NEWS
Police Busted the World's Largest Pedophile Ring . . . Arrested 184 Perverts . . . and Rescued 230 Abused Children:
It may not happen overnight, but over time, police ARE going to catch every single a-hole pedophile out there. And I've heard it's really great for them once the other people in prison find out why they're locked up. --On Wednesday, the European Union's police agency, Europol, just struck the biggest single blow against child abusers EVER, when they busted THE biggest pedophile ring in the WORLD. --Their bust focused on a web forum called BoyLover.net out of Amsterdam. --While that site didn't host any child pornography, it was a central place where pedophiles from all over the world could meet, swap pornography, and even set up those horrible "sex tourism" trips to countries like Thailand. --The site had about 70,000 registered members. In the bust, 184 people were arrested worldwide and 230 abused children were rescued from them. Police have identified hundreds of additional suspects and will go after them now as well. --Peter Davies of England's Child Protection Center says the 184 arrests are just the beginning. Quote, "Those who have been members of the site can expect a knock on the door in the near future." --The man who was running the site was arrested last year. After he was busted, as part of his plea, he provided every record he had to investigators so they could track down all of the a-holes who had used his site. (Salon.com)
Some Sketchy New Software Helps You See What Your Facebook Friends Look Like . . . Naked:
In the mood to be a gigantic, raging pervert? This right here is the Super Bowl of sketchiness. --There's a new piece of software called FalseFlesh that promises to help you see what your Facebook friends look like . . . NAKED. --Sort of. What it really does is take your friend's head and then pastes it on an appropriate naked body . . . a body with the same skin tone, size, et cetera. A few tweaks to the lighting, and now it looks like you're seeing the person naked. --Of course, you could do this in Photoshop or any of the other millions of photo editing programs out there. But in those cases you'd have to find the proper nude bodies yourself, do the cutting and pasting, tweak the lighting, and more. --Basically, this is the first program with the SPECIFIC purpose of taking innocent people's photos and turning them into realistic-looking nude photos. Can't see THIS leading to any lawsuits down the road, right? --The site's testimonials are fittingly creepy. Quote, "My girlfriend has a really smoking hot younger sister. I had always been curious [how] she looked naked. FalseFlesh let me do this and also stay out of trouble with the GF." --FalseFlesh isn't cheap . . . they want $35 for it. But if you're a beginner when it comes to photo editing . . . you've got money to spare . . . a tenuous grip on the blurring between reality and fantasy . . . and you're a pervert . . . it's perfect. (Salon.com)
There's a Difference Between Your "Sexual Prime" and Your "Genital Prime" . . . Which Is Why You Have Your Best Sex Once You're Middle Aged:
Whenever people talk about "sexual prime," they talk about men in their late teens and early 20s, and women in their late 20s and early 30s. --But if that's the case . . . why are your parents going to town on each other every night and having the best sex of their lives? (--No apologies made for putting that mental image in your head. You're an adult. Deal with it.) --David Schnarch is a sex therapist, and he has an explanation. David says that we tend to confuse our "GENITAL PRIME" with our "sexual prime." --The genital prime is what happens when you're younger. Your body is in its best shape so you're physically capable of being a sexual Olympian. --BUT . . . you still don't really know anything about sex. That's why your sexual prime happens in middle age or later . . . after you really "get" sex. --You know what you want, your partner knows what they want, and you both understand how to work together to make sure you're both getting maximum satisfaction . . . maximum satisfaction from middle-aged humping. (--CAREFUL!) Quote, "Celebrate what improves with age: Younger men may have stronger erections, but older guys have better control. You've perfected your bedroom technique, and you feel less inhibited than you did in the past." (CNN)
The Average Woman Finds True Love After Kissing 22 Men . . . And Having One-Night Stands With Six:
A new survey tried to figure out exactly how much a woman has to go through before she finds TRUE LOVE. And here's what they found. Not to spoil the fun and excitement of your future. Just try to act surprised when all this happens . . . --The average woman KISSES 22 guys before she settles down with one for good. --She has an average of SIX one-night stands. --She has four long-term relationships. --She dumps five guys, whether they're in long-term relationships or just dating. --She gets dumped four times. --And she is cheated on FOUR TIMES. --As for how long it takes men to find true love, the survey didn't go as in-depth. They did say that the average guy will kiss 23 women, have 10 one-night stands, and have his heart broken six times before he finds The One. (PR Newswire)
Diet Coke Has Passed Pepsi to Become the Second Most Popular Soda:
My entire life, the top two sodas in this country have been the same: Coke has always been number one, Pepsi has always been number two. In 2010, that changed. --Coke is still untouchable at number one. But Pepsi was NOT the second-most popular soda in the country. It lost out to . . . DIET COKE. --Coca-Cola Classic had a 17% market share . . . Diet Coke had a 9.9% market share . . . and Pepsi slipped down to third with a 9.5% market share. --The rest of the top 10 goes: Mountain Dew . . . Dr. Pepper . . . Sprite . . . Diet Pepsi . . . Diet Mountain Dew . . . Diet Dr. Pepper . . . and Fanta. --The 11th most popular was Coke Zero. --Pepsi is still the number two COMPANY behind Coca-Cola, just not the number two soda. Coke has a 42% market share overall, PepsiCo has 29.3%. Dr. Pepper-Snapple is in a distant third place with a 16.7% share. --The rest of the top 10 are Cott, which makes RC Cola . . . National Beverage, with makes Faygo and Shasta . . . Hansen Natural . . . Red Bull . . . Big Red . . . Rockstar . . . and then a bunch of small private label companies. (The Consumerist)
Law School Applications are Way Down . . . It Seems People Have Finally Realized That Law School Isn't a Guaranteed Path To Wealth:
In the past decade, there's been an EXPLOSION in law school applications. Kids were finishing college . . . realizing their liberal arts degree was going to max them out around $40k a year . . . and saying, "Well, I guess I'll go to law school." --That's led to a HUGE number of people with law degrees and six figure law school debt . . . and not even close to enough jobs for all of them. --Plus, law firms are downsizing, and even as litigious as America is, we don't need a one-to-one ratio of lawyers to residents. --Well . . . it looks like college graduates have finally wised up. Law school applications are down 11.5% this year from a year ago. If these numbers hold up, it'll be the smallest pool of applicants since 2001. (Gawker)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS
An Angry Girlfriend Bites Off Her Boyfriend's Package . . . And Amazingly, Doctors are Able To Reattach It:
I know we like to give modern medicine a lot of grief, seeing as it's 2011 and they still haven't cured cancer. But if THIS is what they're focusing their efforts on instead, we really can't argue. --Recently in Newcastle, England, 45-year-old Martin Douglas and his girlfriend, 43-year-old Maria Topp, were out until 4:00 A.M. drinking. When they got home, they started arguing. --Martin passed out drunk . . . but Maria still wanted to strike the winning blow in the argument. (--CAREFUL!) So . . . she BIT OFF his TESTES. --He was rushed to the hospital, where doctors were able to fully treat him. It took several surgeries, but everything was back together and working within a week. --Maria was arrested and charged with causing grievous bodily harm. She'll be in court next month. (Daily Mirror)
In Michigan, a Man is Busted For Being Married To Two Women . . . When He Posts His Second Wedding Photos on Facebook:
Last July, 34-year-old Richard Leon Barton Jr. of Grand Rapids, Michigan got married. And he was so excited about it, he posted the photos on Facebook. --There was only one problem. See . . . Richard already HAD a wife. She lives in Rhode Island. They were estranged, but never divorced. --Richard figured she wouldn't see the new wedding photos because right before he posted them, he DEFRIENDED her. --But the defriending just made her SUSPICIOUS. --She was still Facebook friends with some of his family members and friends, so she went digging around on their pages and found a bunch of photos of them at Richard's second wedding. That's when she called the police. --The Rhode Island state police contacted Grand Rapids, and Richard was arrested for POLYGAMY. He could get up to four years in prison. (Grand Rapids Press) (--You can see his photo here. And, yes, you will ask yourself how the HELL this guy got one woman to marry him, let alone two.)
A Man is Stopped For Speeding and Runs From His Car . . . Leaving $80,000, Seven Pounds of Reefer, and His Six-Year-Old Son Behind:
When 28-year-old Monroe LeBeau of Norcross, Georgia was pulled over on Tuesday night, he believed he was completely EFFED. And he probably was. But the way he handled the situation made things SO, SO much worse -On Tuesday, an officer clocked LeBeau doing 49 in a 35 in his Dodge Charger. The officer pulled him over. -LeBeau decided to make a run for it on foot. --And that was the problem. He left everything in his car, including $80,000 in cash . . . seven pounds of reefer . . . and, worst of all, HIS SIX-YEAR-OLD SON. --Seriously. He left the kid in the backseat, without a seatbelt on, and the door to the car was open toward traffic. The kid was bawling. --Some officers chased after LeBeau and easily tracked him down with their K-9 unit. On the bright side, the dogs did BITE HIM twice. --He was charged with obstruction, attempted robbery, reckless conduct, possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, a seatbelt violation, speeding, and failure to maintain his lane. His son was placed with a relative. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
A Bank Robber In Ohio Was Caught When He Used a Public Bus as His Getaway Vehicle:
I get the feeling from this story that Lonnie Johnson of Dayton, Ohio isn't exactly a master criminal. It's not that his plan for a bank heist was less than genius. It's that he didn't plan it AT ALL. --On Wednesday morning, Lonnie walked into a KeyBank branch in Dayton and demanded money. And that actually worked . . . the teller gave him some cash and he took off. --But it seems that's where the plan ended. Because Lonnie didn't have a getaway car waiting for him. No, his getaway vehicle of choice was . . . a PUBLIC BUS. --Several witnesses watched him board the bus . . . and they called the police to report which bus he was on. --The cops followed the bus and, a few stops later, they got on and arrested Lonnie. --He's been charged with bank robbery. And it turns out he has a previous bank robbery conviction too. (Dayton Daily News)
A Woman Calls the Police To Tell Them Someone Stole Her Home Stripper Pole:
Last week, a 19-year-old woman from Palm City, Florida, whose name wasn't released, broke up with her boyfriend. She was living with him, so she decided to move out. --When she got home from work and started to pack up, she noticed one of her prized possessions was missing . . . her 15-foot HOME STRIPPER POLE. --The pole cost her $400. She says someone would've had to disassemble it to remove it. The police currently don't have any suspects. (Treasure Coast Palm)
A San Francisco City Worker is Busted For Disability Fraud After She Runs In a Marathon:
In 2007, 34-year-old Emily Hegner was working at the San Francisco Department of Public Health and she said she hurt her lower back, hip, and wrist on the job. She's been collecting disability ever since and says she needs to walk with a CANE. --She was lying. And she got away with it too, until the city ran a search on Emily and found out she'd run a seven-mile portion of a MARATHON . . . six days before she had a visit with her doctor where she showed up with her usual cane and fake limp. --She's been hit with 10 felony charges for insurance fraud, preparing false documents, and grand theft. She could get almost 10 years in prison and will have to pay back all the money she's illegally received. (San Francisco Appeal)
STUPID NEWS EXTRAS
Finally! The neighbors of a guy arrested for kidnapping, assault, and torture DON'T say he was quiet and kept to himself. Instead, they say he was weird, nosy, and bossy. (Full Story)
Tsunami Intsanity Part One: Passengers arriving from Tokyo are setting off radiation detectors at U.S. airports. (Full Story)
Tsunami Intsanity Part Two: A new study says that red wine can protect you from radiation. (Full Story)
Weak sauce: A regional champion girls high school basketball team in Wisconsin had to forfeit a playoff game for the state championship . . . because 9 of the 11 players decided to go on the school band trip instead. (Full Story)
Photos of the Day: Basset Hounds . . . running on the beach. That is all. (Full Story)
Not-Stupid-News: A transplant patient contracted AIDS from the kidney of a living donor . . . because the donor had unprotected gay sex in the 11 weeks between the time he tested negative and the time the surgery took place. (Full Story)
STUPID VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A Japanese Cartoon Explains the Nuclear Disaster . . . By Comparing it to a Child Pooping His Pants:
If you're having trouble understanding the crisis at Japan's damaged nuclear plant, maybe this will help: Someone in Japan made a cartoon about it for children, and compared it to a little kid crapping his pants. --First, the narrator explains that a character called "Nuclear Boy" had a stomachache. Then he PASSED GAS, but nothing SOLID came out, which is good. --And apparently Japanese kids learn about the Periodic Table of Elements a lot earlier than we do, because there's one part where it talks about the chemical "boron" being used to help make sure Nuclear Boy doesn't get too hot. --If that happens, it says he could have "diarrhea" like "Chernobyl Boy" did. (--Search for "Nuclear Boy Cartoon.")
#2.) Check Out an Acting Reel for the "World's Greatest Extra":
All mildly successful actors in Hollywood have acting reels that showcase scenes from the movies and TV shows they've been in. --But there's a new video on YouTube called "World's Greatest Extra", that features the work of a nerdy looking actor named JESSE HEIMAN. You won't recognize his name, but you might know him when you see him. --According to IMDB, he's been in almost 50 different TV shows and movies since 2001, but in almost all of them he's either been an extra in the background, or a character that wasn't important enough to get a name. --The video includes clips of him playing "Nerd #1" on an episode of "Entourage", "American Idol Hopeful" on an episode of "Reno 911", "Student" in the movie "The Social Network", "Student on Couch" in the movie "Van Wilder", and 21 more.
Five Spring Date Ideas:
The first day of spring is this Sunday. So to get you ready for the warmer temperatures, we've got a list of five spring date ideas.
#1.) Wine Tasting. Take a trip out to a winery for the weekend. (--You can find one near you here.) Or if that's out of your budget right now, look up some local restaurants and wine shops that offer wine tastings.
#2.) The Farmer's Market. Spring will bring tons of berries and fresh produce to your local farmer's market. So spend an afternoon strolling through the aisles . . . then have a picnic with whatever you buy.
#3.) The Zoo or Botanical Garden. It's cheap, it leaves a lot of room for conversation, and it's outside so you can appreciate the nicer weather.
#4.) Your Own "Spring Break". Sure, you might not be in college anymore, but that doesn't mean you can't have your own spring break. So find some cheap airfare and head to the beach for a weekend.
#5.) A Baseball Game. A crowded baseball stadium is the perfect setting for a spring date: you're outside, the game will leave lots of time to talk, and the seats are cramped so you'll be in close contact with each other. (SheKnows.com)
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