Friday, March 18, 2011

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (03-18-11)

SHEEN-ANIGANS

Charlie Sheen Has Added Several New Dates to His Live Show:

CHARLIE SHEEN has added several new dates to his "Violent Torpedo of Truth / Defeat Is Not an Option" tour. There are now 20 dates in all, including two in Canada. --And the tickets continue to sell like crazy. The April 8th show at Radio City Music Hall in New York sold out in about 30 minutes . . . so he added another one on April 10th. --Last we heard, that show had almost sold out, too, but there were a few seats still available. (--Radio City has 6,000 seats, and tickets go for between 80 bucks and $519. Or you can pay $750 for a meet-and-greet with Charlie.) (--For all the dates, and to buy tickets, click here.)


Random Sheen-Anigans:

#1.) Did CHARLIE SHEEN threaten DENISE RICHARDS with physical violence because she wouldn't let him do a photo op with his daughters? (Full Story)


#2.) DENNIS HAYSBERT . . . who played slugger Pedro Cerrano in all three "Major League" movies . . . doesn't think Charlie can actually get another one made. (Full Story)


#3.) The Biography Channel is getting in on the CHARLIE SHEEN exploitation business. They're running a one-hour special on Charlie Sunday night at 9:00 P.M., just one hour before TLC airs theirs.


#4.) In a new presidential poll, independents say they would prefer CHARLIE SHEEN over SARAH PALIN, 41% to 36%. (Full Story)


Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene Have Broken Up . . . And Ashley Might Already Be Hooking Up with the Dude from Kings of Leon:

"Details" magazine just posted an interview with JOE JONAS, in which he says nice things about girlfriend ASHLEY GREENE. But it turns out they were ALREADY BROKEN UP when it came out. --Their reps issued a joint statement yesterday saying, quote, "We can confirm they have parted ways and have no further comment." --It's not clear exactly when they broke up, but they've been seen doing their thing separately for a few weeks now. --And on Tuesday night, Ashley was spotted at a club in New York City with JARED FOLLOWILL from KINGS OF LEON. Sources say they were, quote, "dancing and flirting." (--We heard recently that MILEY CYRUS was trying to mack on Jared.) --A source says Jared did not break Ashley and Joe up . . . quote, "They were apart a lot working. It was never that serious. It was a fun, five-month relationship." --Another source adds, quote, "They just both agreed it was time to focus on themselves." (--And in Ashley's case, she probably wanted to focus on herself HAVING SEX FOR A CHANGE.)


Billy Ray Cyrus Is Calling Off His Divorce . . . And Putting His Family Back Together:

BILLY RAY CYRUS says he and TISH are no longer getting divorced . . . and he has mended fences with MILEY. --In an interview airing on "The View" today, Billy Ray says, quote, "I've dropped the divorce. I want to put my family back together . . . Things are the best they've ever been." --"I feel like I kind of got my Miley back in a way. I feel like we're the daddy and daughter we were before 'Hannah Montana' happened. Our communication, we have laughed a lot in the last couple of days." --Oh . . . and about that show . . . Billy Ray said, quote, "I would love to set the record straight. I love 'Hannah Montana'. I love Disney. I love our fans who've been with us throughout this whole show. This has been an incredible journey." --He added that it was FAME, and not the show, that tore his family apart. (--Billy Ray was originally supposed to appear on "The View" last month, but he backed out.) --The rumor going around was that Miley forced him to pull the plug, because she was so upset about everything he said about her and "Hannah Montana" in that "GQ" interview he had recently given.)
"Playboy's" Sexiest Celebrities:

The April issue of "Playboy" will contain the magazine's annual Sexiest Celebrities list. 27 ladies made the cut. Here they are . . .

--Natalie Portman

--Hope Dworaczyk (--She's the 2010 Playmate of the Year)

--Sophie Monk

--Tara Reid (???)

--Brooke Burke

--Anna Paquin

--Kendra Wilkinson

--Halle Berry

--Model Candice Boucher

--UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste

--Sasha Grey (--She's a MATTRESS ACTRESS who's done a few LEGIT movie roles.)

--Jennifer Lopez

--British model Kelly Brook

--Michelle Williams

--Holly Madison

--Beyoncé

--Deliciously gay actress Amber Heard

--Kim Kardashian

--Pamela Anderson

--Jenni "JWoww" Farley

--Angelina Jolie

--Claire Sinclair (--"Playboy's" Miss October, 2010)

--Crystal Harris (--"Playboy's" Miss December, 2009)

--Christina Hendricks

--Megan Fox

--Olivia Wilde

--Scarlett Johansson
(--You can check out a photo gallery of all the ladies here.)
Tiger Woods Is Spending a Lot of Time with His Kids These Days:

CHARLIE SHEEN could learn a thing or two from TIGER WOODS. Tiger is spending a lot less time with porno stars these days . . . and a lot more time with his kids. --Tiger has two kids with ex-wife ELIN NORDEGREN . . . a 3-year-old daughter named Sam and a 2-year-old son named Charlie. (--How's this for coincidence: Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen both love porno stars . . . and have seen their lives implode, in part because of their sex addictions.) (--Meanwhile, they both have a daughter named Sam . . . Tiger has a son named Charlie . . . and Charlie has Tiger blood. And they say there are no higher forces at work in the world.) --On "Good Morning America" yesterday, Tiger said, quote, "It's work, there's no doubt. It's tough. But it's enjoyable. That's the work I love." --He added, quote, "I just love being with them and seeing what they're doing, what they're capable of doing . . . the joys, just the shifts of interest . . . It's just fun. We have a great time together." (--Check out video from the interview here.) (--Tiger actually joked a little bit about his sex scandal . . . and his golf game . . . on "Jimmy Fallon" Wednesday night. If you missed it, you can see a clip here.)


Sandra Bullock Has Donated $1 Million to the Relief Effort in Japan:

We'll probably be hearing more of these stories as the days and weeks progress, but SANDRA BULLOCK is the first celebrity to write a big, fat check for the relief effort in Japan. --The Red Cross announced yesterday that she donated $1 million to the cause. That's the highest celebrity donation so far . . . that we know of. The Red Cross noted that some celebrities could have made ANONYMOUS donations. --Sandra also gave $1 million to the earthquake relief effort in Haiti last year . . . and she helped rebuild a school in New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. (--You've probably seen this in a billion different places, but it never hurts to keep driving it home: You can donate $10 to the Red Cross by texting REDCROSS to 90999.)


Mel Gibson Was Booked on His Battery Charge Yesterday:

MEL GIBSON went to the El Segundo Police station yesterday to be officially booked on his misdemeanor battery charge. Police said he was, quote, "very pleasant." --Mel pleaded no contest to the charge in a deal his lawyer arranged so he could avoid jail for allegedly assaulting OKSANA GRIGORIEVA last year. He ended up with probation, counseling and community service. (--Here's his mugshot.)


Alfred the Butler from the Old-School Batman Movie Franchise Has Died:

British actor MICHAEL GOUGH . . . who played Alfred the Butler in the "Batman" movies from 1989 through 1997 . . . died yesterday. He was 94. (--I'm guessing the cause of death was . . . that he was 94.)--Gough . . . who was actually born in Malaysia . . . was in all four Batman movies that kicked off with TIM BURTON'S "Batman" in 1989 . . . and were killed off by the 1997 atrocity "Batman and Robin", starring GEORGE CLOONEY in the lead. (--Bat Trivia: Gough was one of only TWO actors to appear in all four films. The other was PAT HINGLE . . . who played Commissioner Gordon.) --Gough went on to do three more movies for Tim Burton. He plays Notary Hardenbrook in "Sleepy Hollow" . . . did the voice of Elder Gutknecht in "The Corpse Bride" . . . and the voice of the Dodo Bird in last year's "Alice in Wonderland". --Back in the day, Gough made a decent living doing British horror, and he starred in his share of classics . . . of both the A and B-movie variety. They included "Horror of Dracula" (1958), "Horrors of the Black Museum" (1959) . . . --The "King Kong" rip-off "Konga" (1961) . . . and a forgotten GEM from 1973 called "Horror Hospital".


Hackers Stole Those Nude Pics of Vanessa Hudgens . . . And They Victimized Other Celebrities, Too:

VANESSA HUDGENS was interviewed by the FBI over those nude pictures of her that hit the Internet this week. --It seems that the pictures were stolen by hackers who broke into her G-mail account. And the same people have also hacked and stolen from up to 50 other celebrities.

--They include the following . . .

--Jessica Alba

--Selena Gomez

--Demi Lovato

--Christina Aguilera

--Scarlett Johansson

--Ali Larter

--Miley Cyrus

--Busy Philipps

(--It's not clear if the hackers got anything as juicy from any of these ladies as they got from Vanessa.)


NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND

This Weekend at the Movies, Seth Rogen's an Alien . . . Bradley Cooper Uses 100% of His Brain . . . and Matthew McConaughey's a Lawyer Living in His Car:

#1.) "Paul" (R)

Seth Rogen plays an alien who escapes from Area 51 and asks "Shaun of the Dead" superstars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to help him get back to his mothership. "SNL's" Kristen Wiig plays a chick who joins them on their road trip. (Trailer) --The rest of the cast includes Jason Bateman as the federal agent hunting Paul down, Sigourney Weaver as the Area 51 boss who wants Paul dead, and Jane Lynch from "Glee" as a big-haired diner waitress. (--Enjoy the UNCENSORED trailer here.)


#2.) "Limitless" (PG-13)

Bradley Cooper takes an untested "smart drug" that allows him to use 100% of his brain. With the drug's help, he goes into business with Robert DeNiro and makes a killing on Wall Street. -But his sudden success attracts the attention of people who want to get their hands on his stash. And as the drug's brutal side effects kick in, he has to run for his life before his supply runs out. (Trailer)


#3.) "Lincoln Lawyer" (R)

Matthew McConaughey plays a lawyer working out of his car, who lands the biggest case of his career, defending a Beverly Hills playboy on an attempted murder charge. --William H. Macy plays his private investigator, Marisa Tomei is McConaughey's wife, and Ryan Phillippe is his shady client. The rest of the cast includes John Leguizamo and country singer Trace Adkins, who plays a bad ass biker. (Trailer)


Taylor Swift Has Joined the Cast of "The Lorax":

TAYLOR SWIFT has joined the cast of "The Lorax" . . . based on the classic DR. SEUSS book of the same name. --She'll provide the voice for Audrey, the love interest of ZAC EFRON'S character, Ted. DANNY DEVITO is playing the title character . . . while additional voices will be provided by ED HELMS and BETTY WHITE. The movie is due out next March.


Darren Aronosfsky Is No Longer Directing the New "Wolverine" Movie:

"Black Swan" director DARREN ARONOFSKY will no longer direct the new "Wolverine" movie. He backed out because it would have kept him out of the country for almost a year, and he didn't want to be away from his family that long. --The movie is supposed to shoot in Japan. Despite the current chaos over there, producers still hope to do so.




The "Harold & Kumar" Christmas Movie Hits Theaters in November:

"A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas" . . . and yes, that's the full title . . . will hit theaters on November 4th. And that's THIS November 4th.


TV's Biggest Moneymakers:

Forbes.com has put out their annual list of TV's Biggest Moneymakers, which estimates the amount of ad revenue TV shows bring in per 30 minutes. (--All "regularly scheduled" primetime shows were considered . . . including sports programming. Forbes.com used the "30 minutes" base so that half-hour series could be comparable to shows that are an hour or longer.)

--Not surprisingly, "American Idol" came out on top . . . by a mammoth margin . . . over the next closest show, which would be "Two and a Half Men".

--"Idol" banked $7.1 million per 30 minutes. That was actually down 12% from the year before, when it raked in $8.1 million per half-hour. Still, its rate slammed "Two and a Half Men" by over $4 million.

--These numbers were drawn from 2010 . . . before the future of "Two and a Half Men" was suddenly cast into doubt when CHARLIE SHEEN was fired. (--Charlie went from being "sort of eccentric" . . . to a catch-phrase-spouting media whore, who moonlights as a complete raving LUNATIC. You know, in case you haven't heard.)

--Here's the Top 10, and their estimated ad revenue per 30 minutes:

1.) "American Idol", Fox . . . $7.1 million

2.) "Two and a Half Men", CBS . . . $2.9 million

3.) "Desperate Housewives", ABC . . . $2.74 million

4.) "Grey's Anatomy", ABC . . . $2.67 million

5.) "Dancing with the Stars", ABC . . . $2.67 million

6.) "Lost", ABC . . . $2.6 million

7.) "The Big Bang Theory", CBS . . . $2.5 million

8.) "24", Fox . . . $2.45 million

9.) "Private Practice", ABC . . . $2.3 million

10.) "Mike and Molly", CBS . . . $2.1 million

(--By the way, three of the Top 10 shows . . . "Two and a Half Men", "The Big Bang Theory" and "Mike and Molly" . . . are the three shows currently being run by Charlie Sheen's buddy Chuck Lorre. The guy knows what he's doing.) (--For more information, you can hit up Forbes' complete report, here.)
WEEKEND TV REMINDERS

Friday TV Reminders:

--"Supernanny" [SERIES Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.

--"My Big Redneck Wedding" [4th Season Finale] . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CMT.

--"Primetime: What Would You Do?" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--This week's scenarios include confronting laundry thieves.)

--"Flying Wild Alaska" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery.

--"20/20" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Jennifer Hudson is interviewed.)

--"Give It Up For Greg Giraldo" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 12:30 A.M. on Comedy Central. (--Jon Stewart, Sarah Silverman, Lewis Black, Jim Gaffigan, and Dave Attell pay tribute to fellow comedian Greg Giraldo.)

Saturday TV Reminders:

--"Sonisphere Festival 2010" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic. (--Slayer, Anthrax, Motley Crüe, Alice Cooper and Alice in Chains perform during the London leg of the Sonisphere Festival.)

--"Must Love Cats" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Animal Planet.

--"Dancing Crazy with Miranda Cosgrove" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on Nickelodeon. (--A behind-the-scenes look at Miranda Cosgrove's first concert tour, including concert footage, and interaction with her fans, stylist and band members.)

--"Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Patty Griffin, Emmylou Harris, Shawn Colvin and Mike Farris perform.) (REPEAT)

--"Time After Time" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on the Hallmark Channel. (--"Waltons" star Richard Thomas stars in a time travel love story, where he confronts his present day self in order to make his love life better for his future self.)

--"The Pee-Wee Herman Show on Broadway" . . . 10:00 to 11:30 P.M. on HBO. (--Paul Reubens brings a version of his Broadway revival of his famous kids television show to this HBO special.)

--"The Big 4 Live from Sofia, Bulgaria" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic. (--Anthrax, Megadeth, Metallica and Slayer perform during the Bulgarian leg of the Sonisphere Festival. For the finale, all four bands jam together on "Am I Evil?")

--"That Metal Show" [7th Season Premiere] . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic. (--Featuring Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett and former Scorpions guitarist Uli Jon Roth.)

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Jeff Bridges guest hosts and Eminem is the musical guest.) (REPEAT)

Sunday TV Reminders:

--"Biography" . . . 7:00 A.M. to 9:00 A.M. on A&E. (--Hulk Hogan and Weird Al Yankovic are profiled.)

--"Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Fuse. (--This year's inductees include Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond, Darlene Love, Leon Russell, Tom Waits and Dr. John.)

--"Big Love" [SERIES Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on HBO.

--"Shark Tank" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.

--"Ax Men" [4th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on History Channel.

--"My Fair Wedding with David Tutera" [4th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on WE.

--"The Cleveland Show" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe guest stars to help Lester cope with the loss of his life savings. Meanwhile Will.I.Am of The Black Eyed Peas makes up for the Super Bowl halftime mess.)

--"Detroit 1-8-7" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Fitch's nemesis threatens his family. He's played by Tommy Flanagan, who you'd know as outlaw biker Chibs on "Sons of Anarchy".)

--"Rich Bride, Poor Bride" [5th Season Finale] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on WE.


WHO IS REBECCA BLACK?

The Mystery Surrounding "Friday" Superstar Rebecca Black Is Beginning to Unravel:

Well over 14 million people have subjected themselves to REBECCA BLACK'S timeless classic, "Friday", on YouTube . . . and finally, we're starting to crack the mystery of who this girl is, and what the hell she was doing.
--But be forewarned: The new developments might make you feel bad for this girl, despite the fact that you curse her name every time "Friday" starts playing in your head on an endless loop. --First off, Rebecca is a 13-year-old eighth grader from California. She and her mother, Georgina Kelly, gave an extensive interview to TheDailyBeast.com. Here's what you need to know . . . --As we'd heard, a company called Ark Music Factory was involved . . . and as expected, they're more to blame for the "Friday" phenomenon than Rebecca is. --Rebecca and her mother purchased a $2,000 package from Ark Music Factory so that Rebecca could get some experience in the music business. For that price, they gave her the song, produced a video and unleashed it on YouTube. --Rebecca says she was given the choice between two pre-written songs. Yes, you heard that right. Despite what you may have thought, "Friday" was written by an ADULT. --She says, quote, "I didn't write it at all. The other song was about adult love . . . I haven't experienced that yet. 'Friday' is about hanging out with friends, having fun. I felt like it was my personality in that song." --That being said, Rebecca WAS aware that the lyrics were ABYSMAL. (--That's reassuring. We had a 10-year-old girl listen to "Friday", and she couldn't believe how lame it was.) But ultimately, she just went ahead with it. --Rebecca's mom says, quote, "A few times, when I heard some of the lyrics, I was like, 'That doesn't make sense. Rebecca said, 'I sang it as they wrote it, Mom.' So I didn't micromanage it." --So who did create this nonsense? That would be Ark Music boss Clarence Jey, who co-wrote and produced it. He also gave some comments in the interview, but he didn't explain his songwriting prowess. Instead, he gave Rebecca some props. --He said, quote, "Funniest part of the whole thing is Rebecca Black is actually [an] amazing singer [with] a unique tone and a fantastic, fun person. The concept we feel seems to have crossed a lot of boundaries, for the better or worse." (--If she had such an amazing voice, with "a unique tone," then why did you completely smother it with thick auto-tune. You made her sound like a robot . . . that couldn't sing.)


Rebecca Black Feels Like She's Being "Cyber-Bullied":

The visceral hate for REBECCA BLACK'S breakout hit, "Friday", seems to increase with every YouTube hit, and Rebecca is well aware of that. --She says, quote, "Those hurtful comments really shocked me. At times, it feels like I'm being cyber-bullied." --Rebecca says that Ark Music Factory DID ask her if she wanted them to take the video down, but she told them to keep it up. She explains, quote, "I decided not to give the haters the satisfaction that they got me so bad I gave up." --And she's going to continue to pursue her music career. She's planning on recording an acoustic version of "Friday", which would NOT be auto-tuned. She says, quote, "I want to show people there's more to me than they think." (--I applaud that move, although it wouldn't hurt to abandon "Friday" and sing something else . . . anything else . . . even if it's a cover of another song. I think she has enough name-recognition now to step away from "Friday".) --Not everything is bad, though. Rebecca says she has begun profiting from this insanity . . . and adds that she's going to donate some of the money to the relief efforts in Japan.


Irony of the Day: Malaysian Radio Has Censored Lady Gaga's Gay-Friendly Song "Born This Way" . . . Because It's Too Gay:

LADY GAGA'S "Born This Way", which preaches acceptance of all people regardless of things like ethnicity, disability and sexual preference, has been CENSORED on Malaysian radio. --Why? Because they don't accept all people . . . specifically gay people. --AMP Radio Networks, which is Malaysia's top private radio company, has removed Lady Gaga's gay-friendly lyrics out of fear that the local government would fine them for violating, quote, "good taste and decency, and offending public feeling." --The company explained, quote, "The [lyrics] may be considered as offensive when viewed against Malaysia's social and religious observances. The issue of being gay, lesbian or [bisexual] is still considered as a 'taboo' by general Malaysians." --Despite the fact that the whole FREAKIN' song is about acceptance and not being afraid to be who you are, only this lyric was removed: Quote, "No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgendered life, I'm on the right track, baby." --The line was replaced by an "indecipherable garble of words." (??? --Lady Gaga has not commented on this, but there's no way she'd be cool with it. Malaysian gay rights activists are calling for her to ask Malaysia to play "Born This Way" intact . . . or not at all. (--Malaysia, a predominantly Muslim country, routinely makes headlines for its censorship of Western pop acts. Usually, they're just demanding that our more provocative singers put on some clothes.) (--Here again is Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" video. The gay-friendly, Malaysian-unfriendly lyrics happen at the 5:34 mark.)


It's On: Between Courtney Love and Chelsea Handler:

COURTNEY LOVE is apparently back on Twitter after a two-month hiatus, and in typical Courtney style, she's using this opportunity to rip into CHELSEA HANDLER. --With the new handle @cloverxxxlove, Courtney Tweeted, quote, "@ChelseaHandler, I think you are a leathery idiot and rude. And beyond stupid." --She also called Chelsea a, quote, "mainstream zzzzlister with zero talent" . . . accused her of having a, quote, "man face" . . . and said she tries to be funny by, quote, "carrying around a midget." --What would Courtney have against Chelsea? Well, Chelsea is dating her ex, businessman Andre Balazs. Chelsea has not responded yet. --For the record, there's no confirmation that this IS indeed Courtney. It appears to be her account, and as Gawker.com points out, the person writing the Tweets seems to have, quote, "an encyclopedic knowledge" of her life. But it's not 100%. --By the way, @cloverxxxlove also made comments toward Kanye West, Piers Morgan, Carrie Fisher, director Brett Ratner, Arianna Huffington and Russell Crowe. (--You can hit up Courtney's alleged Twitter feed, here.)


Lil Wayne's "Tha Carter 4" Has a Release Date:

LIL WAYNE'S next album, "Tha Carter 4", will drop on May 16th. --Wayne said, quote, "'Tha Carter 4' is done . . . all they need to do is tell [my manager] to stop sitting on it . . . May 16th, believe that. It can come out tomorrow 'cause I'm so finished . . . if you're not doing anything, do me." (???) (--Here's video of Wayne announcing the date.)


FRIDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS - 1 of 2


Are RIHANNA and COLIN FARRELL dating? Depends on which anonymous source and / or sketchy blog you listen to. (Full Story)


LINDSAY LOHAN went to a club Wednesday night . . . but she swears she didn't drink. (Full Story)


37-year-old KATE MOSS has kind of a saggy butt. (Full Story)


Check out pictures of EWAN MCGREGOR riding a bike with a cute little dog in the basket. (Full Story)


BOBBI KRISTINA BROWN says she's not addicted to anything and she's not going to rehab. (Full Story)



KEVIN COSTNER has signed a deal to play Superman's adoptive "Earth father" Jonathan Kent in the upcoming Superman reboot. (Full Story)


Check out a gallery of "21 Badass 'Big Lebowski' Tattoos". (Full Story)


SHIA LABEOUF will star in the movie version of "Horns" . . . a novel by STEPHEN KING'S son JOE HILL. (Full Story)

The producers of "Glee" say the show will tackle FLEETWOOD MAC'S classic "Rumours" album at some point. They also say KRISTIN CHENOWETH will be back this season, and GWYNETH PALTROW will return next season. (Full Story)


OLIVIA MUNN celebrated St. Patricks Day by getting drunk on the "Today" show yesterday. And yeah, she actually did seem a little inebriated. (Video)


Not that it's much of a surprise, but NBC has officially renewed "The Office", "Community" and "Parks and Recreation" for another season. "30 Rock" had previously been picked up for 2011-2012. (Full Story)


MTV is bringing back "120 Minutes", which aired from 1986 to 2000, before being moved to MTV2, where it ran from 2001 to 2003. The new version will also air on MTV2. MATT PINFIELD will return as the host. (Full Story)


SIMON & GARFUNKEL are hoping to tour later this year. (Full Story)


The SMASHING PUMPKINS have released another track from their continual "Teargarden By Kaleidyscope" project. This one is called "Lightning Strikes". It's not as bad as you're probably expecting. (Audio)


NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

NOT-SO-STUPID NEWS

Police Busted the World's Largest Pedophile Ring . . . Arrested 184 Perverts . . . and Rescued 230 Abused Children:

It may not happen overnight, but over time, police ARE going to catch every single a-hole pedophile out there. And I've heard it's really great for them once the other people in prison find out why they're locked up. --On Wednesday, the European Union's police agency, Europol, just struck the biggest single blow against child abusers EVER, when they busted THE biggest pedophile ring in the WORLD. --Their bust focused on a web forum called BoyLover.net out of Amsterdam. --While that site didn't host any child pornography, it was a central place where pedophiles from all over the world could meet, swap pornography, and even set up those horrible "sex tourism" trips to countries like Thailand. --The site had about 70,000 registered members. In the bust, 184 people were arrested worldwide and 230 abused children were rescued from them. Police have identified hundreds of additional suspects and will go after them now as well. --Peter Davies of England's Child Protection Center says the 184 arrests are just the beginning. Quote, "Those who have been members of the site can expect a knock on the door in the near future." --The man who was running the site was arrested last year. After he was busted, as part of his plea, he provided every record he had to investigators so they could track down all of the a-holes who had used his site. (Salon.com)


Some Sketchy New Software Helps You See What Your Facebook Friends Look Like . . . Naked:

In the mood to be a gigantic, raging pervert? This right here is the Super Bowl of sketchiness. --There's a new piece of software called FalseFlesh that promises to help you see what your Facebook friends look like . . . NAKED. --Sort of. What it really does is take your friend's head and then pastes it on an appropriate naked body . . . a body with the same skin tone, size, et cetera. A few tweaks to the lighting, and now it looks like you're seeing the person naked. --Of course, you could do this in Photoshop or any of the other millions of photo editing programs out there. But in those cases you'd have to find the proper nude bodies yourself, do the cutting and pasting, tweak the lighting, and more. --Basically, this is the first program with the SPECIFIC purpose of taking innocent people's photos and turning them into realistic-looking nude photos. Can't see THIS leading to any lawsuits down the road, right? --The site's testimonials are fittingly creepy. Quote, "My girlfriend has a really smoking hot younger sister. I had always been curious [how] she looked naked. FalseFlesh let me do this and also stay out of trouble with the GF." --FalseFlesh isn't cheap . . . they want $35 for it. But if you're a beginner when it comes to photo editing . . . you've got money to spare . . . a tenuous grip on the blurring between reality and fantasy . . . and you're a pervert . . . it's perfect. (Salon.com)

There's a Difference Between Your "Sexual Prime" and Your "Genital Prime" . . . Which Is Why You Have Your Best Sex Once You're Middle Aged:

Whenever people talk about "sexual prime," they talk about men in their late teens and early 20s, and women in their late 20s and early 30s. --But if that's the case . . . why are your parents going to town on each other every night and having the best sex of their lives? (--No apologies made for putting that mental image in your head. You're an adult. Deal with it.) --David Schnarch is a sex therapist, and he has an explanation. David says that we tend to confuse our "GENITAL PRIME" with our "sexual prime." --The genital prime is what happens when you're younger. Your body is in its best shape so you're physically capable of being a sexual Olympian. --BUT . . . you still don't really know anything about sex. That's why your sexual prime happens in middle age or later . . . after you really "get" sex. --You know what you want, your partner knows what they want, and you both understand how to work together to make sure you're both getting maximum satisfaction . . . maximum satisfaction from middle-aged humping. (--CAREFUL!) Quote, "Celebrate what improves with age: Younger men may have stronger erections, but older guys have better control. You've perfected your bedroom technique, and you feel less inhibited than you did in the past." (CNN)


The Average Woman Finds True Love After Kissing 22 Men . . . And Having One-Night Stands With Six:

A new survey tried to figure out exactly how much a woman has to go through before she finds TRUE LOVE. And here's what they found. Not to spoil the fun and excitement of your future. Just try to act surprised when all this happens . . . --The average woman KISSES 22 guys before she settles down with one for good. --She has an average of SIX one-night stands. --She has four long-term relationships. --She dumps five guys, whether they're in long-term relationships or just dating. --She gets dumped four times. --And she is cheated on FOUR TIMES. --As for how long it takes men to find true love, the survey didn't go as in-depth. They did say that the average guy will kiss 23 women, have 10 one-night stands, and have his heart broken six times before he finds The One. (PR Newswire)


Diet Coke Has Passed Pepsi to Become the Second Most Popular Soda:

My entire life, the top two sodas in this country have been the same: Coke has always been number one, Pepsi has always been number two. In 2010, that changed. --Coke is still untouchable at number one. But Pepsi was NOT the second-most popular soda in the country. It lost out to . . . DIET COKE. --Coca-Cola Classic had a 17% market share . . . Diet Coke had a 9.9% market share . . . and Pepsi slipped down to third with a 9.5% market share. --The rest of the top 10 goes: Mountain Dew . . . Dr. Pepper . . . Sprite . . . Diet Pepsi . . . Diet Mountain Dew . . . Diet Dr. Pepper . . . and Fanta. --The 11th most popular was Coke Zero. --Pepsi is still the number two COMPANY behind Coca-Cola, just not the number two soda. Coke has a 42% market share overall, PepsiCo has 29.3%. Dr. Pepper-Snapple is in a distant third place with a 16.7% share. --The rest of the top 10 are Cott, which makes RC Cola . . . National Beverage, with makes Faygo and Shasta . . . Hansen Natural . . . Red Bull . . . Big Red . . . Rockstar . . . and then a bunch of small private label companies. (The Consumerist)


Law School Applications are Way Down . . . It Seems People Have Finally Realized That Law School Isn't a Guaranteed Path To Wealth:

In the past decade, there's been an EXPLOSION in law school applications. Kids were finishing college . . . realizing their liberal arts degree was going to max them out around $40k a year . . . and saying, "Well, I guess I'll go to law school." --That's led to a HUGE number of people with law degrees and six figure law school debt . . . and not even close to enough jobs for all of them. --Plus, law firms are downsizing, and even as litigious as America is, we don't need a one-to-one ratio of lawyers to residents. --Well . . . it looks like college graduates have finally wised up. Law school applications are down 11.5% this year from a year ago. If these numbers hold up, it'll be the smallest pool of applicants since 2001. (Gawker)


MEATBALL CRIMINALS

An Angry Girlfriend Bites Off Her Boyfriend's Package . . . And Amazingly, Doctors are Able To Reattach It:

I know we like to give modern medicine a lot of grief, seeing as it's 2011 and they still haven't cured cancer. But if THIS is what they're focusing their efforts on instead, we really can't argue. --Recently in Newcastle, England, 45-year-old Martin Douglas and his girlfriend, 43-year-old Maria Topp, were out until 4:00 A.M. drinking. When they got home, they started arguing. --Martin passed out drunk . . . but Maria still wanted to strike the winning blow in the argument. (--CAREFUL!) So . . . she BIT OFF his TESTES. --He was rushed to the hospital, where doctors were able to fully treat him. It took several surgeries, but everything was back together and working within a week. --Maria was arrested and charged with causing grievous bodily harm. She'll be in court next month. (Daily Mirror)


In Michigan, a Man is Busted For Being Married To Two Women . . . When He Posts His Second Wedding Photos on Facebook:

Last July, 34-year-old Richard Leon Barton Jr. of Grand Rapids, Michigan got married. And he was so excited about it, he posted the photos on Facebook. --There was only one problem. See . . . Richard already HAD a wife. She lives in Rhode Island. They were estranged, but never divorced. --Richard figured she wouldn't see the new wedding photos because right before he posted them, he DEFRIENDED her. --But the defriending just made her SUSPICIOUS. --She was still Facebook friends with some of his family members and friends, so she went digging around on their pages and found a bunch of photos of them at Richard's second wedding. That's when she called the police. --The Rhode Island state police contacted Grand Rapids, and Richard was arrested for POLYGAMY. He could get up to four years in prison. (Grand Rapids Press) (--You can see his photo here. And, yes, you will ask yourself how the HELL this guy got one woman to marry him, let alone two.)


A Man is Stopped For Speeding and Runs From His Car . . . Leaving $80,000, Seven Pounds of Reefer, and His Six-Year-Old Son Behind:

When 28-year-old Monroe LeBeau of Norcross, Georgia was pulled over on Tuesday night, he believed he was completely EFFED. And he probably was. But the way he handled the situation made things SO, SO much worse -On Tuesday, an officer clocked LeBeau doing 49 in a 35 in his Dodge Charger. The officer pulled him over. -LeBeau decided to make a run for it on foot. --And that was the problem. He left everything in his car, including $80,000 in cash . . . seven pounds of reefer . . . and, worst of all, HIS SIX-YEAR-OLD SON. --Seriously. He left the kid in the backseat, without a seatbelt on, and the door to the car was open toward traffic. The kid was bawling. --Some officers chased after LeBeau and easily tracked him down with their K-9 unit. On the bright side, the dogs did BITE HIM twice. --He was charged with obstruction, attempted robbery, reckless conduct, possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, a seatbelt violation, speeding, and failure to maintain his lane. His son was placed with a relative. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)


A Bank Robber In Ohio Was Caught When He Used a Public Bus as His Getaway Vehicle:

I get the feeling from this story that Lonnie Johnson of Dayton, Ohio isn't exactly a master criminal. It's not that his plan for a bank heist was less than genius. It's that he didn't plan it AT ALL. --On Wednesday morning, Lonnie walked into a KeyBank branch in Dayton and demanded money. And that actually worked . . . the teller gave him some cash and he took off. --But it seems that's where the plan ended. Because Lonnie didn't have a getaway car waiting for him. No, his getaway vehicle of choice was . . . a PUBLIC BUS. --Several witnesses watched him board the bus . . . and they called the police to report which bus he was on. --The cops followed the bus and, a few stops later, they got on and arrested Lonnie. --He's been charged with bank robbery. And it turns out he has a previous bank robbery conviction too. (Dayton Daily News)


A Woman Calls the Police To Tell Them Someone Stole Her Home Stripper Pole:

Last week, a 19-year-old woman from Palm City, Florida, whose name wasn't released, broke up with her boyfriend. She was living with him, so she decided to move out. --When she got home from work and started to pack up, she noticed one of her prized possessions was missing . . . her 15-foot HOME STRIPPER POLE. --The pole cost her $400. She says someone would've had to disassemble it to remove it. The police currently don't have any suspects. (Treasure Coast Palm)




A San Francisco City Worker is Busted For Disability Fraud After She Runs In a Marathon:

In 2007, 34-year-old Emily Hegner was working at the San Francisco Department of Public Health and she said she hurt her lower back, hip, and wrist on the job. She's been collecting disability ever since and says she needs to walk with a CANE. --She was lying. And she got away with it too, until the city ran a search on Emily and found out she'd run a seven-mile portion of a MARATHON . . . six days before she had a visit with her doctor where she showed up with her usual cane and fake limp. --She's been hit with 10 felony charges for insurance fraud, preparing false documents, and grand theft. She could get almost 10 years in prison and will have to pay back all the money she's illegally received. (San Francisco Appeal)


STUPID NEWS EXTRAS

Finally! The neighbors of a guy arrested for kidnapping, assault, and torture DON'T say he was quiet and kept to himself. Instead, they say he was weird, nosy, and bossy. (Full Story)

Tsunami Intsanity Part One: Passengers arriving from Tokyo are setting off radiation detectors at U.S. airports. (Full Story)

Tsunami Intsanity Part Two: A new study says that red wine can protect you from radiation. (Full Story)

Weak sauce: A regional champion girls high school basketball team in Wisconsin had to forfeit a playoff game for the state championship . . . because 9 of the 11 players decided to go on the school band trip instead. (Full Story)

Photos of the Day: Basset Hounds . . . running on the beach. That is all. (Full Story)

Not-Stupid-News: A transplant patient contracted AIDS from the kidney of a living donor . . . because the donor had unprotected gay sex in the 11 weeks between the time he tested negative and the time the surgery took place. (Full Story)


STUPID VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A Japanese Cartoon Explains the Nuclear Disaster . . . By Comparing it to a Child Pooping His Pants:

If you're having trouble understanding the crisis at Japan's damaged nuclear plant, maybe this will help: Someone in Japan made a cartoon about it for children, and compared it to a little kid crapping his pants. --First, the narrator explains that a character called "Nuclear Boy" had a stomachache. Then he PASSED GAS, but nothing SOLID came out, which is good. --And apparently Japanese kids learn about the Periodic Table of Elements a lot earlier than we do, because there's one part where it talks about the chemical "boron" being used to help make sure Nuclear Boy doesn't get too hot. --If that happens, it says he could have "diarrhea" like "Chernobyl Boy" did. (--Search for "Nuclear Boy Cartoon.")


#2.) Check Out an Acting Reel for the "World's Greatest Extra":

All mildly successful actors in Hollywood have acting reels that showcase scenes from the movies and TV shows they've been in. --But there's a new video on YouTube called "World's Greatest Extra", that features the work of a nerdy looking actor named JESSE HEIMAN. You won't recognize his name, but you might know him when you see him. --According to IMDB, he's been in almost 50 different TV shows and movies since 2001, but in almost all of them he's either been an extra in the background, or a character that wasn't important enough to get a name. --The video includes clips of him playing "Nerd #1" on an episode of "Entourage", "American Idol Hopeful" on an episode of "Reno 911", "Student" in the movie "The Social Network", "Student on Couch" in the movie "Van Wilder", and 21 more.
Five Spring Date Ideas:

The first day of spring is this Sunday. So to get you ready for the warmer temperatures, we've got a list of five spring date ideas.

#1.) Wine Tasting. Take a trip out to a winery for the weekend. (--You can find one near you here.) Or if that's out of your budget right now, look up some local restaurants and wine shops that offer wine tastings.

#2.) The Farmer's Market. Spring will bring tons of berries and fresh produce to your local farmer's market. So spend an afternoon strolling through the aisles . . . then have a picnic with whatever you buy.

#3.) The Zoo or Botanical Garden. It's cheap, it leaves a lot of room for conversation, and it's outside so you can appreciate the nicer weather.

#4.) Your Own "Spring Break". Sure, you might not be in college anymore, but that doesn't mean you can't have your own spring break. So find some cheap airfare and head to the beach for a weekend.

#5.) A Baseball Game. A crowded baseball stadium is the perfect setting for a spring date: you're outside, the game will leave lots of time to talk, and the seats are cramped so you'll be in close contact with each other. (SheKnows.com)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Hollywood Dirt Overflow (March 17, 2011)


 

SHEEN-ANIGANS


 

Andrew Dice Clay Rips Charlie Sheen a New One:


 

ANDREW DICE CLAY may not be the most relevant celebrity these days . . . but maybe he SHOULD be. Because he ripped CHARLIE SHEEN a new one yesterday . . . and it was pretty awesome. --The "New York Post" actually asked Dice about the GILBERT GOTTFRIED / Aflac situation. But he didn't want to talk about that. He wanted to launch some TRUTH TORPEDOES at Charlie. Here's what he had to say . . . --"Forget about [Gilbert]. How about this (A-hole) that everybody's afraid to say anything to, this (effin') Charlie Sheen, with all his ranting and all the attention he's getting. --"Maybe he should say something nice, and maybe some kind words to all those people out in Tokyo and to their families while he's got the (effing) spotlight on him. --"You know what gets me about something like that? Nobody's got the balls to tell this guy how (effed) up he is. He's on TV terrorizing newscasters, because they seen him waving a (effing) machete in the air. He's (effin') saying, 'I'm winning.' --"Let me tell you something, Charlie, I used to be a big fan of what you do. You did some great movies in the past. And you get an opportunity to be on one of the greatest sitcoms of this (effing) decade. --"And then you go on TV and promote (effing) drugs. You call that (effing) winning when you get (effing) fired from a hit (effing) sitcom? You call that winning? --"You call winning when there's (effing) custody battles, your kids are being taken from you and you're living with two (effing) porno actresses that I could watch on YouTube, (pleasure myself) and shut on the off button . . .--"And you think you're (effing) winning going from a hit show to a (effing) cooking show tossing a (effing) salad?"

--He added, quote, "You're not a rock star, you're not a comic. You're the biggest (effing) loser in the world as far as I'm concerned, okay? Go get the help you (effing) need. --"Nobody's on Twitter watching you going, 'Hey, Charlie's great, Charlie's winning.' Everybody's watching you fall and everybody's afraid to say it to you. Get (effing) help." (--There's not much more that needs to be said, is there? You can check out video of Dice's rant here. WARNING! There's a TON of bleeped profanity . . . and some UNBLEEPED language that's questionable, too.)


 


 

Charlie Sheen Has a Patent for a "Chapstick Dispensing Apparatus":


 

CHARLIE SHEEN has invented a few other things, besides an entirely new reality for himself. --In 2001, Charlie and another guy received a patent for a, quote, "Chapstick dispensing apparatus." It has a, quote, "slidably, pivotably, or hingeably attached" cap . . . which solves the problem of those little Chapstick caps constantly getting lost. (--"Slidably, pivotably and hingeably"? Sounds like Charlie's been making up words for a lot longer than we realized.) --They never actually produced this thing. Who knows why. (--You can see detailed pictures of it in the patent application, here. And yes, I am fully aware that it looks like a sex toy.) --In 1998, Charlie also trademarked a phrase. You're going to laugh when you hear it. Ready? It's . . . "DRUGS ARE LOSER FRIENDLY." --Yes, Charlie was going to put that phrase on various products in order to spread the word about the, quote, "detrimental effects of recreational drugs." Another thing that didn't pan out . . . this time for far more obvious reasons. (--You can see the trademark application here.)


 


 

Charlie Sheen Did Not Win In His Lawsuit Yesterday:


 

"Winning" was NOT the operative word at the Sober Valley Lodge yesterday . . . when a private resolution company decided that CHARLIE SHEEN'S $100 million lawsuit against his former bosses should go to arbitration instead of court. --Charlie's attorney wasn't happy about the decision. He said, quote, "Our lawsuit involves claims over the entire cast and crew, and there is no right to arbitrate with them." -He claims their opponents want it to go to arbitration because they're afraid of the TRUTH . . . whatever it is . . . getting out. --But he also said it didn't matter where the facts of the case were heard . . . Charlie will win regardless because he was fired without cause. --An attorney for "Two and a Half Men" creator CHUCK LORRE said the case is going to arbitration because that's what everyone's contracts call for.

 


 

Gilbert Gottfried Says to "Do the Opposite" of What He Does:


 

GILBERT GOTTFRIED is still trying to recover from the damage those tsunami jokes did to his career. "Inside Edition" asked him if he had any tips for avoiding the kind of controversy he's created over the years. He said, quote, "Observe everything I do and do the opposite." --He also gave props to his supporters . . . quote, "HOWARD STERN was very nice. He spoke in favor of me, and JOAN RIVERS and WHOOPI GOLDBERG."


 


 

Rush Limbaugh Mocked Japan for Being Environmentally Conscious . . . And Yet Still Getting Punished by "Mother Earth":


 

I'm surprised RUSH LIMBAUGH waited this long to say anything insensitive about Japan. It took him until yesterday . . . but he finally did it. --He basically mocked Japan for being one of the leading nations in terms of environmental consciousness, and yet still being punished by Mother Earth. --It was actually a caller who brought it up. He said, quote, "If these are the people who invented the Prius, have mastered public transportation, recycling . . . why did Mother Earth, Gaia if you will, hit them with this disaster?" --Then Rush played a clip of a news report DIANE SAWYER did from a Japanese refugee camp . . . where she pointed out that the people were still recycling, despite everything they were going through. --After mocking Diane Sawyer for a while, Rush then went back to the caller's point about some fantastical Earth Mother punishing Japan for trying to conserve resources. --He said, quote, "The Japanese have done so much to save the planet, he's right. They've given us the Prius. Even now refugees are still recycling their garbage. --"And yet Gaia just levels them. Just wipes them out . . . What kind of payback is this?" --He added, quote, "I like the way this guy was thinking . . . What is Gaia trying to tell us here? What is the mother of environmentalism trying to say with this hit? Great observation." (--You can watch video of this here.)


 


 

Chris Brown Says He Was Sending That Naked . . . and Impressive . . . Picture to a Girl:


 

CHRIS BROWN was asked point-blank about that naked picture of him that leaked recently. It was during a radio interview . . . --He pretty much evaded any direct questions, like who he was sending the picture to. Although he did confirm that it was, quote, "definitely a girl." --He also revealed that it was an "out-the-shower shot" . . . and, most impressively, he was NOT EXCITED. --Not surprisingly, he also admitted, quote, "I'm comfortable with my body."


 


 

The Producers of the "Red Dawn" Remake Digitally Changed the Chinese Invaders Into North Koreans . . . So They Could Still Play the Movie in China:


 

--The makers of the "Red Dawn" remake digitally changed the invading army from Chinese to North Korean . . . because they can make big bucks playing the movie in China. --"Red Dawn" is about a group of scrappy high school kids who band together and become rebels when America is invaded and taken over. --As you may recall, the original "Red Dawn" came out in 1984, and the villains were our Cold War enemies, the USSR . . . with an assist from Cuba. --The new version was shot with the Chinese as the invaders. But then the studio stepped in and informed the filmmakers just how much money they'd lose if the movie didn't play in China . . . which is a lucrative market for American films. --So they're using digital technology to change Chinese flags and symbols to North Korean . . . and also substituting dialog. --They couldn't change everything, so the Chinese are still represented among the villains. But they were able to make it so the North Koreans are the true aggressors. --Producer Tripp Vinson says, quote, "We were initially very reluctant to make any changes. But after careful consideration we constructed a way to make a scarier, smarter and more dangerous 'Red Dawn' that we believe improves the movie." (--Now THAT'S spin. Greed didn't kill art . . . it IMPROVED it! Sure, dude. Whatever the case, the new version will be out sometime this year.)


 


 

It Looks Like Just About Everybody Is Coming Back for the Next "American Pie" Movie:


 

It looks like just about everybody from the original cast is coming back for the next "American Pie" movie. They're calling it "American Reunion", and JASON BIGGS, EUGENE LEVY and SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT have already signed on. (--Even though Scott just entered some kind of treatment program.) --And deals are in the works for Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Mena Suvari, Chris Klein and Jennifer Coolidge . . . a.k.a. Stifler's Mom. (--There's no word yet on Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Kaye Thomas or Natasha Lyonne.)SINGING COMPETITION CHAOS


 

"Idol" Wannabe Stefano Langone Was Busted for DUI Last Year:


 

"American Idol" finalist Stefano Langone has shared his story about how he almost died in an accident caused by a drunk driver in May of 2009. But according to new reports, he was busted for DUI himself almost exactly a year later. --Last May, Washington state police pulled Stefano over for speeding. He failed field sobriety tests . . . including not being able to recite his ABCs . . . and was arrested on suspicion of DUI. He admitted to having "one beer several hours earlier." --In the report, the arresting officer said, quote, "While en route [to headquarters], Stefano began singing." He took a Breathalyzer and registered above the state's legal limit. In November, he pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of "negligent driving." --The judge handed him a 30-day suspended sentence, and fined him $863. He also had to take a drug and alcohol education course. For what it's worth, Stefano was also cited for marijuana possession in 2008, but the case was dismissed. (--Here's video of Stefano's audition, where he talks about the DUI accident that almost took his life.)


 


 

"Idol's" Jacob Lusk Knew the Late Nate Dogg Personally:


 

"American Idol" finalist JACOB LUSK had a friendly relationship with NATE DOGG, the R&B singer who passed away earlier this week. Back in 2007, Jacob was in a gospel choir that Nate founded called InNate Praise. --Yesterday, Jacob Tweeted, quote, "Nate Dogg gone? Can't be true . . . I'm gonna miss him telling me to CALM DOWN!!!! Or saying 'HERE HE GO.' GREAT MAN. I knew him. LOVE YOU MAN!" (--Here's video of Jacob hanging out with Nate at his studio in 2007. Nothing much happens in it . . . Jacob and Nate are both just chillin'.) (--The star of the video is the girl who keeps saying she does not want to be filmed eating "hot Cheetos." That's reason enough to watch the whole thing. Hot Cheetos Girl, here's to you becoming a STAR!)


 


 

Simon Cowell Has Tapped L.A. Reid to Judge "X Factor":


 

The "Hollywood Reporter" says that SIMON COWELL has landed his first fellow judge for "X Factor" . . . but it isn't one of the high-profile names he's teased. --It's ANTONIO "L.A." REID, the Chairman and CEO of Island Def Jam Music Group. Supposedly, he's going to quit that job to take the "X Factor" gig. (--Interesting Fact: Back in the '90s, L.A. Reid signed USHER when he was 14. And Usher, as we all know, later signed JUSTIN BIEBER when HE was 14. So ultimately, L.A. Reid gets the credit . . . or blame . . . for BIEBER FEVER.)


 


 

The Creator of "The Bachelor" Would Like the Show to Be More Diverse . . . But He Says It's Hard:


 

Have you ever noticed that "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" are two of the WHITEST shows on TV? --The shows' creator MIKE FLEISS says he'd like to change that, but they don't always get enough minority applications. And they don't want to FORCE people of color into the casts just for the sake of doing it. --Fleiss explains, quote, "We really tried, but sometimes we feel guilty of tokenism. Oh, we have to wedge African-American chicks in there! We always want to cast for ethnic diversity, it's just that for whatever reason, they don't come forward. --"I wish they would." --The next "Bachelorette", ASHLEY HEBERT, is another cute white girl . . . but Fleiss jokes, quote, "[She might be] 1/16th Cherokee Indian, but I cannot confirm. That is my suspicion!" --But she does break the mold in another way: She's "a professional." Fleiss says, quote, "It's the first time we've had an actual professional woman as a bachelorette. She's not a party planner, she's a dentist! That's a good step for us.--"I think it's a cool good lesson for young ladies out there to see an accomplished woman still struggling to put the personal side of her life together. That's something a lot of women can relate to. She will be a different kind of bachelorette." --Sort of. She's not an "accomplished" dentist yet. She's still in dental school. (--I wonder if it's still a good lesson for "the young ladies out there." I'd say seeing a 26-year-old female college student struggling with her love life isn't exactly like spotting a bald eagle.) --By the way, Ashley wasn't the white woman Fleiss initially wanted on "The Bachelorette". He says they offered it to CHANTAL O'BRIEN but she turned them down. (--Chantal was the runner-up on this past season of "The Bachelor".)
--Fleiss explains, quote, "Chantal quite possibly would have been our bachelorette . . . if she hadn't not, quote-unquote, fallen in love with some goofball in Seattle. I'm sure they'll be together forever." (--Here's a picture of Chantal's goofball.)

Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)


 

--"American Idol" [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--The
Black Eyed Peas and last season's winner, Lee DeWyze, perform.)


 

--"Kathy Griffin: 50 & Not Pregnant" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bravo. (--Kathy Griffin performs stand-up comedy in Milwaukee.)


 

--"30 Rock" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on NBC. (--Susan Sarandon guest stars.)


 

--"Manhunters: Fugitive Task Force" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on A&E.


 


 

Rebecca Black's Brilliant Jam "Friday" Has Cracked the iTunes Top 100:


 

The Internet SENSATION that is "Friday" by "pop sensation" REBECCA BLACK has carved out a spot on the iTunes Top 100 . . . in its first day.--"Friday" hit iTunes on Tuesday, and yesterday it was sitting at #69. (--You can check for updated rankings, here.) iTunes doesn't release their sales data, so it's unclear how many times it's been downloaded. --The video for "Friday" has been viewed over 10 million times on YouTube. The official version has nearly 10 million views itself. It was originally uploaded on February 10th, but it didn't "go viral" until last week. (--You can watch it, here. This thing is a piece of work. But I think it's kind of wonderful in its terribleness. If you're watching it, think about all the things in the video that just don't seem to click . . . that just feel a little OFF.) (--By the way, something called "Ark Music Factory" is responsible for this and several other HORRIBLE videos on YouTube.) (--From what I gather, parents pay money . . . some say "thousands", but I can't verify that . . . and these people make an auto-tuned single and crappy video for you, whether you have an ounce of talent or not. (--I don't know that what they're doing is wrong, necessarily. I mean, it would be nice if they were honest with some of these chicks and told them not to waste their money because they're probably never going to make it.) (--But still, I think their gig is just to give these chicks the means to try and make it. I wonder if they understand the irony of calling themselves a "factory.") (--I think this mini-phenomenon . . . which may not be mini for much longer . . . speaks to a bigger problem in the music industry, and maybe society as a whole.) (--Basically, in this age of YouTube, Facebook and "American Idol", everybody thinks they're a star. Everybody thinks they're just one viral appearance away from celebrity. And that's basically true.) (--What so many of these people don't realize is that they probably don't DESERVE to be celebrities. Or at least they didn't in the world I grew up in . . . where it took TALENT to get recognized.) (--You can browse Ark Music Factory's website, here.)


 


 

Nate Dogg's Death *Was* Probably Stroke-Related:


 

There's still no official word on the cause of NATE DOGG'S
death, but his family believes it was related to complications from the strokes he suffered in 2008. --But Nate wasn't in bad shape. A close friend of the family says his death was unexpected . . . and that he was making significant progress in his recovery. He adds that Nate was fully alert and aware in his final days. --By the way, the statement Nate's family released included this line: Quote, "We know that Nate will be hanging out with his good friends 2Pac and Biggie."


 


 

THURSDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS


 

MEL GIBSON'S new movie, "The Beaver", premiered at the South By Southwest Film Festival in Austin, Texas last night. And a source says it received a, quote, "strong ovation." (Full Story)


 


 

SELENA GOMEZ was on "Letterman" last night. Dave tried to get her to admit she's dating JUSTIN BIEBER, but she totally dodged the issue. (Full Story)


 


 

Some company tried to cash in on the royal wedding by issuing a commemorative China mug. But they put a picture of PRINCE HARRY on it instead of PRINCE WILLIAM. (Full Story)


 


 

DONALD TRUMP says he's willing to spend $600 million on a presidential campaign. (Full Story)


 


 

KATY PERRY'S mom, who's a Christian minister, is writing a book about the impact Katy's career has had on her life. She says she's proud of Katy, but she "disagrees with a lot of choices she makes in her career." (Full Story)


 


 

KELLY CLARKSON'S next album has been pushed back to September. There's no word on why, but Kelly implies that the decision was over her head. She says she was told "that's the best time to release it." (Full Story)


 


 

LIFESTYLE NONSENSE


 

Five Stats About How Men and Women Drink Alcohol:


 

For St. Patrick's Day, Yahoo did a survey of more than 2,000 people to find out how men and women consume alcohol. --It's not really a scientific study, so you can't take the results TOO seriously. But here are the top five things the survey revealed.


 

#1.) St. Patrick's Day Isn't the Most Popular Holiday for Drinking. In fact, it wasn't even in the top three. St. Patrick's Day came in fourth, behind New Year's Eve, Christmas, and the Fourth of July.


 

#2.) Men Drink More. According to the survey, male drinkers out-drink women by an average of two beverages per week. The average for women was just under six drinks a week, and the average for men was just under eight.


 

--One in four adults said they don't drink at all.


 

#3.) More Men Said They "Need" Alcohol to Have a Good Time. 10% of the women surveyed said they couldn't have fun without having a few drinks, compared to 16% of men.


 

#4.)
Most Drinkers Had Their First Sip of Alcohol Before They Were Legally Allowed To. The average survey participant had their first drink at age 17. And almost two thirds of them said they got drunk for the first time before turning 21.


 

#5.) Men Are More Likely to Come to Work Hung Over. 13% of women said they've gone to work with a hangover before, compared to 21% of men. (Yahoo.com)


 

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF


 


 

And Now, Five Random Facts About St. Patrick's Day:


 

#1.) St. Patrick Wasn't Irish. We've said it before and we'll say it again . . . St. Patrick wasn't actually Irish! He was born in Scotland or Wales, and brought to Ireland as a slave. Also, his name wasn't Patrick . . . his given name was Maewyn.


 

#2.) Until 1970, Irish Bars Closed On St. Patrick's Day. In 1903, St. Patrick's Day was named a national holiday in Ireland. Nice tribute . . . but in Ireland, bars have to close on national holidays. That was overturned in 1970.


 

#3.) America Is Far More Irish Than Ireland. There are more than 35 million Americans with Irish ancestry. The population of Ireland is 4.2 million.


 

#4.) Four Out Of Five Americans Wear Green Today. And about 20 million, or about one out of 13, go to a bar.


 

#5.) It's Really Easy To Dye The Chicago River. The Chicago River is dyed green for St. Patrick's Day . . . and it only takes 40 pounds of green vegetable dye to do it. That green lasts for a few days. (11 Points)
(--You can find more random St. Patrick's Day facts here.)


 

One Out of Four Women Hated the Way Their Boyfriend Proposed:


 

Add this to the list of the many, many, ways you leave women unsatisfied. --According to a new survey by TheKnot.com, 26% of women, or one out of four, say they HATE the way their boyfriend proposed. --The main complaints were that the proposal wasn't romantic, original, or personal. The next most common complaint was about the spectacle . . . women who wanted an over-the-top proposal got a small, intimate one, and vice versa. --75% of the men surveyed said they planned their entire proposal themselves without any help. --And 76% of men say it's absolutely necessary to get down on one knee to propose . . . while only 49% of women said the whole "one knee" thing is crucial. --Men do much better when it comes to the engagement ring than the engagement itself. 96% of women, or 24 out of 25, say they loved the engagement ring. --30% of men say they bought a ring without getting a second opinion. --After the proposal, 84% of people say they called their parents first. --75% of women and 66% of men post the news on Facebook. (Daily Mail)


 


 

A New Study Proves That Women Handle Pain Better Than Men:


 

You know who's the most likely to cry like a little girl? Someone who didn't grow up as a little girl. --According to a new study out of Queen Mary University in London, it's official: WOMEN handle pain better than men. --The study took brain scans to try to understand how men and women approach the idea of pain. --They found women spend less time focusing on FEAR and more time preparing and planning how they'll handle and overcome the pain. --Meanwhile men focus almost exclusively on the fear of the pain and don't prep themselves to handle it. --Because of that difference, women handle the pain in a more rational way. --Dr. Steven Coen led the study. He says, quote, "We're not saying men and women feel pain differently, but the way the brain interprets the pain may differ." (Daily Mail)


 


 

A New Fashion Line is Being Launched By . . . Nelson Mandela?


 

People give NELSON MANDELA a lot of glorious titles. We've never heard "FASHION ICON" as one of them, though.

--But that's not stopping Mandela. This August, he's launching a brand new DESIGNER FASHION LINE. It's called 46664 Apparel . . . 46664 was the number he had for his 27 years in prison while he was locked up for fighting apartheid. --All of the profits will go toward charity and toward South Africa's textile and clothing industry. --Mandela didn't design all of the clothes in his line himself, but he did have a hand in them. They're going to feature strong, bold colors . . . a lot of African influences . . . and a logo based off of Mandela's handprint. (Time) (--Here are some photos of the clothing from the line.)


 


 

Atlanta Is Still the Busiest Airport In the World:


 

Next time you get stuck at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta . . . and yes, at some point you WILL get delayed in Atlanta, everyone does . . . just know that you're not alone. --According to the annual report from the Airports Council International, Hartsfield is still THE busiest airport in the entire world. --It had a 1.5% increase in travelers last year, bringing it up to 89.3 million . . . which was enough to beat out Beijing Capital International Airport in China. Beijing had a 13% increase to 73.9 million travelers. --Beijing is on pace to pass Atlanta sometime in the next few years. --Chicago's O'Hare is the third-busiest . . . Heathrow in London is fourth . . . Tokyo is fifth . . . --Los Angeles is sixth . . . Paris's Charles De Gaulle is seventh . . . Dallas/Fort Worth is eighth . . . Frankfurt in Germany is ninth . . . and Denver is tenth. --Overall last year, there was a 6.3% increase in the number of airline passengers. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)


 


 

11% of People Think We'll Be Able To Take Vacations To the Moon . . . Within the Next Decade:


 

Ever since we were kids, we've wondered when we'd be able to take family vacations to the MOON. At first everyone figured it would be the year 2000. Well, that came and went, and most of us rational folks basically gave up. --But there are some people out there who STILL BELIEVE. --A British travel website called Sunshine just put up the results of a poll about futuristic travel, and found that a solid 11% of us think we'll be able to take vacations to the moon . . . within the next decade. Here are some more findings. --22% think there will be space station hotels by 2020. --54% think we'll be able to take long submarine vacations by 2020. --16% think there will be a high-speed train across the Atlantic Ocean, connecting the U.S. and Europe, by 2020. (--Spoiler alert: This will not happen.) --34% think that long-distance HOT AIR BALLOON RIDES will be available by 2020. --And finally . . . 4% of people think TIME TRAVEL will be possible by 2020. (Breaking Travel News)


 

A Woman Is Suing a Hand Warmer Company . . . Because Their Product Worked So Well It Set Her On Fire:


 

On one hand, I'm sure the people who manufacture the Little Hotties brand of hand warmers feel bad about this and don't like having to deal with a lawsuit. On the other hand . . . what an endorsement for the quality of their hand warmers! --On February 5th, 24-year-old Lauren Self of Madison, Alabama had one of the Little Hotties hand warmers in her back pocket. --Those are the hand warmers that come in a little bag . . . you crinkle or shake the bag, and they provide you with hours of heat. --But, Lauren says when she reached back to grab the hand warmer . . . it caught on FIRE. It burned through her clothes and set her BUTTOCKS ON FIRE. --She was in the hospital for a week for burn injuries. --Now she's suing Implus Footwear of North Carolina, which is the company that makes Little Hotties. She's seeking unspecified damages . . . AND requesting that the hand warmers are DISCONTINUED. --A spokesman from Implus Footwear didn't have a comment on the suit. (Huntsville Times)


 


 

A Tenant Sets a House On Fire When He Tries To Smoke Out Some Squirrels In the Attic:


 

Look, I get that we're Americans. And as Americans, when we want to solve problems our first instinct is: "How can I fix this problem with EXPLOSIONS?" But sometimes that's just not practical. --Earlier this week, a tenant in a two-story row house in Richton Park, Illinois was going crazy because of a family of squirrels living in his attic. So he decided to tackle the problem like an American. --He got himself a SMOKE BOMB . . . lit it . . . and threw it up into the attic. He figured it would smoke the squirrels right out. --Instead, the smoke set the insulation on fire and the entire house went up in flames. --It spread to the house next door before firefighters could fully put it out. The upper units in both of the houses suffered damage, but fortunately no one was hurt or killed. --As for the squirrels . . . after the fire was out, the chief of the Richton Park Fire Department, Lloyd Noles, did a sweep of the building. Quote, "I never saw any squirrels, none at all." (--So . . . mission accomplished, then?) (Chicago Tribune)


 


 

MEATBALL CRIMINALS


 

During a Break-Up, a Man Sticks His Tongue Out At His Girlfriend . . . So She Bites Off His Tongue Ring and Splits His Tongue In Half:


 

This is definitely the SECOND-biggest reason why I'd never get a tongue ring. The first biggest reason is that I'm not a 16-year-old girl with self-esteem issues. --On Monday night, 25-year-old Johnathan Batton of Spartanburg, South Carolina was breaking up with his 21-year-old girlfriend, Casey Crump. They lived together, so he started moving out. --As he moved his stuff, they kept yelling at each other. Finally, at one point, Johnathan stuck his tongue out at Casey to taunt her. --Johnathan had a tongue ring. And as soon as he stuck his tongue out, Casey leaned forward . . . BIT DOWN around the piercing . . . and ripped it out of Johnathan's mouth with her TEETH. In the process, she split his tongue IN HALF. --While he was on the ground in pain, she grabbed a pair of jumper cables and started WHIPPING HIM. She also told her THREE-YEAR-OLD daughter to stand in front of his car so he couldn't leave. --Casey hasn't been arrested yet . . . a sheriff's deputy says they're still gathering information for a warrant. She was arrested last month, though . . . for domestic violence. (The Smoking Gun)


 


 

A Woman Gets a DUI After She Stops To Yell at the Cops for Holding Up Traffic During Someone Else's DUI Stop:


 

On Sunday afternoon, police in Denver reported to the scene of an accident caused by a drunk driver. While they worked the scene, they ended up blocking off an intersection. --That backed up traffic . . . and one of the people in that traffic was 49-year-old Katherine Morse of Westminster, Colorado. --When she finally got through the jam and drove past the crash scene, she rolled down her window and YELLED at the cops for, quote, "choosing a stupid place to conduct a traffic stop." --When a cop approached Katherine's car, he could smell alcohol on her. --So he had her pull her car over . . . he gave her a roadside sobriety test . . . and she FAILED. --She was arrested on suspicion of DUI. (Denver Post)


 


 

A Man is Arrested for Impersonating an Officer . . . By Using an iPhone App That Flashes Like a Siren:


 

Over the weekend, a man was driving in Boise, Idaho and saw the blue and red lights of a police siren in his window. --But something was off. The car wasn't a police car . . . the driver looked like he was holding the siren in his hand . . . and also, the driver looked like a kid. So, just to be sure, the guy who was being pulled over called the police. --They told him his suspicion was correct . . . and they reported to the scene and pulled over the fake cop. --He was 20-year-old Alexander Welch of Boise. Turns out he didn't have a handheld siren . . . he had an IPHONE APP that looks like a siren, and he was using THAT to try to pull over the other driver. --The app is called Police Siren, and you can get it for free in the app store. But, ya know, don't use it like this idiot used it. --Alexander was arrested and charged with felony impersonation. He could get up to five years in prison. (Idaho Statesman)


 


 

RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS


 


 

Tsunami Intsanity Part One: West coast sushi joints are facing, quote "daunting supply shortages" following the earthquake in Japan. (Full Story)


 


 

Tsunami Intsanity Part Two: People aren't donating as much to the relief effort in Japan, because the country is so much better off financially than Haiti. (Full Story)


 


 

Just when you thought they couldn't make life any worse for us . . . Chase and other banks are testing out $5 ATM fees for non-customers. (Full Story)


 


 

The TSA says a, quote, "calculation error" accidentally led to airport scanners giving off 10 times higher radiation emissions than they're supposed to. (Full Story)


 


 

A guy went to the police because he felt his drug dealer had shorted him on his baggie of cocaine, and even showed cops the baggie as proof. He was arrested. (Full Story)


 


 

Palm Beach County in Florida has passed a law requiring shade, fans, or air conditioning for dogs left outdoors when it's over 85 degrees. (Full Story)


 


 

The NYPD spends about $75 million a year on low-level pot possession busts . . . about $2,000 for each small-time arrest. (Full Story)


 


 

A minor league manager for the Atlanta Braves got hit in the face with a line drive foul ball last week . . . and doctors had to remove his left eye. But he expects to return to the team in six weeks. (Full Story)


 


 

The number of heavy smokers in the U.S. has dropped significantly: The percentage of smokers smoking a pack a day has dropped from 56% in 1965, to 41% today. (Full Story)


 


 

Hillary says she won't serve a second term as Secretary of State . . . or in any other role . . . in Obama's cabinet. (Full Story)

NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY


 

#1.) A Chinese Businessman Had His Lamborghini Smashed with Sledgehammers . . . Because it Had Engine Problems?


 

If you've always wanted to see a crew of guys destroy a Lamborghini with sledgehammers, today's your lucky day. --A businessman in China bought a pre-owned Lamborghini, and it started having engine problems a month later. So he took it back to the dealership to have it worked on, but supposedly they couldn't fix the engine . . . and they also damaged the chassis. --That's when the guy decided to take drastic measures: To mark World Consumer Rights day on March 15th, he had a team of nine guys attack the car with sledgehammers, in protest. Oh, and by the way, the car retails for around $280,000. (--Search for "Lamborghini Destroyed With Sledgehammers.")


 


 

#2.) Snipers in Brazil Killed a Robber Who Held a Knife to a Hostage's Eye:


 

Police in Brazil shot and killed a convenience store robber on Monday, when he threatened to stab a female hostage in the eye with a knife. --While two cops were negotiating with him, the guy put the point of his knife right up to the woman's eye, so it looked like he was about to stab her. Then a sharpshooter took him out. --The robber was hit in the head and died immediately, but the hostage was fine. After the shot is fired, you can see blood on her shirt. But it's the robber's, not hers. Then she runs out of the store and toward the camera. (--Search LiveLeak.com for "Brazil Hostage Taker Knife in Eye" He's shot at :24. WARNING: The video is kind of blurry, so it's not that graphic. But it does show him get shot.)


 


 

#3.) A Dog Was Injured in the Tsunami, and Another Dog Refused to Leave Its Side:


 

A soaking wet dog that survived the tsunami in Japan was found standing guard next to a second dog that was injured and not moving. And now the footage of it is getting a bunch of plays on YouTube. --At one point, the healthy dog even paws the face of the dog that's lying on the ground, like it knows its friend needs to wake up so they can be rescued. --And here's the good news: According to CNN, both dogs were evacuated, and both survived. (--Search for "Loyal Dog Stays by Friend After Tsunami." It paws the other dog's face at 1:58.)