Hollywood Dirt Overflow 7-30-10
THE SIMON SUCCESSOR SEARCH
"AMERICAN IDOL" SURPRISE: ELLEN DEGENERES HAS JUMPED SHIP:
A fascinating new wrinkle was added to The Simon Successor Search yesterday, when ELLEN DEGENERES announced that she's QUITTING "American Idol". --Basically, Ellen decided to kick "Idol" because she was too busy and nice to continue doing it. --She released a statement saying, quote, "A couple months ago, I let Fox and the 'American Idol' producers know that this didn't feel like the right fit for me. --"I told them I wouldn't leave them in a bind . . . and that I would hold off on doing anything until they were able to figure out where they wanted to take the panel next. --"It was a difficult decision to make, but my work schedule became more than I bargained for. I also realized this season that while I love discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for me to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings. --"I loved the experience working on 'Idol' and I am very grateful for the year I had. I am a huge fan of the show and will continue to be." --And on Twitter, Ellen said quote, "Dim the lights . . . I've voted myself off 'American Idol'." (--That would've worked really well if she was referring to "Survivor". As an "Idol" reference, it's just OK. Kind of like her judging.) --On one hand, you'd think that "Idol" can't be too thrilled with Ellen leaving since they're already having enough trouble finding a replacement for SIMON COWELL . . . and now their job just became twice as big. --But on the other hand, perhaps the show is OK with the idea of overhauling the judges' panel. --Former "Idol" executive producer NIGEL LYTHGOE . . . who you know best as the lead judge on "So You Think You Can Dance" . . . has rejoined "Idol". And earlier this year, he suggested that "Idol" should replace ALL the judges. (--Basically, he said the show should rediscover its roots. He pointed out . . . accurately, in my opinion . . . that "Idol" has bcome TOO MUCH about the judges and their bantering, and should be refocused on the TALENT, or lack there of.) --For the record, KARA DIOGUARDI is NOT signed for the upcoming season, and TMZ says she's been fired. Although as of now, she is expected to come back. RANDY JACKSON . . . who's arguably become the LEAST USEFUL judge . . . has one more year on his deal. --But there's no indication that Ellen was nudged out. All kinds of people from Fox, including "Idol" producers, released statements expressing their love for Ellen . . . and their disappointment that she will not be returning for another season. (--Ellen reportedly had FOUR more years on her "Idol" contract.)
AND NOW . . . COURTNEY LOVE IS IN TALKS TO REPLACE SIMON: (???)
If you thought the speculation about SIMON COWELL'S replacement couldn't get WORSE than the rumor about JESSICA SIMPSON . . . you haven't heard about this. --NBC Los Angeles is claiming that "American Idol" producers are discussing the gig with COURTNEY LOVE. (?!?) Supposedly, the talks are, quote, "in the early stages, but they are serious."
OR . . . WILL JENNIFER LOPEZ AND AEROSMITH SINGER STEVEN TYLER BE THE NEXT "AMERICAN IDOL" JUDGES:
Late last night, yet ANOTHER "American Idol" rumor started snowballing. --This one is that JENNIFER LOPEZ will be joining the judges' panel. At first, it seemed like just the fringe showbiz sites were reporting it . . . but then "People" magazine jumped on the bandwagon. --A so-called "insider" tells them, quote, "It's true. She's excited about it." --Nothing is official yet, but it sounds like it IS happening. -Deadline.com says that she will replace ELLEN DEGENERES, and that makes sense. Ellen probably wasn't going to officially announce that she was quitting until they had someone locked in to replace her . . . so maybe that's how it went down. --Meanwhile, some random site called GossipCop.com claims that they've heard . . . from a, quote, "reliable source" that AEROSMITH singer STEVEN TYLER has been offered Simon's seat. (--I don't know about that one. Aerosmith just reconnected after NEARLY splitting up. Unless they DO break up, I have a feeling he's going to be busy touring and recording a new album with them.) (--Anyway, I just had a new idea: What about STEVE PERRY from JOURNEY? He's got a helluva voice . . . and is probably just sitting around at home.)
THE LATEST MEL GIBSON AUDIO IS SAFE TO PLAY ON THE AIR!!!
A new MEL GIBSON voicemail hit the web yesterday, and you're not going to believe this: There's not ONE SINGLE CURSE WORD IN IT. It's totally safe for work. Anybody's work. Even if you work in the Vatican. --It was left at about 1:00 P.M. on February 20th. That's 10 hours after Mel left all those ranting and raving voicemails we heard yesterday. --In this one, Mel is completely calm, because he has decided that, quote, "There is no passion left . . . so I don't need to get mad."--Instead of calling to ream out OKSANA GRIGORIEVA again, he wants to, quote, "talk reasonably about schedules" for the baby. --He's pretty hoarse from all the screaming he'd done the day before, and even admits, quote, "I haven't got a voice left." (--You can listen to it here . . .)
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/07/exclusive-audio-mels-final-message-oksana-i-havent-got-a-voice-left
WHY DID OKSANA *NOT* BRING OUT THOSE PICTURES OF HER BLACK EYE WHEN SHE WAS NEGOTIATING HER $15 MILLION SETTLEMENT WITH MEL???
There's a story floating around that we've heard before . . . that MEL GIBSON and OKSANA GRIGORIEVA hammered out a settlement after they broke up that would have given Oksana $15 million. --In order to rate that kind of money, Oksana reportedly brought out all her big guns . . . like the audio we've been hearing on almost a daily basis, and those pictures of Oksana's busted veneers, and the supposed bruise on their daughter's chin. --The story went that after two days of negotiations, Oksana and Mel agreed to the settlement in principal, but Oksana backed out at the last second. --According to HER version of the story, the agreement called for Mel to have unsupervised visits with their daughter, and she ultimately wasn't comfortable with that. --Anyway . . . that settlement has come up again, because there's something fishy about what Oksana DIDN'T bring to those meetings. --Sources say those pictures of Oksana with a black eye that surfaced recently were not a part of the settlement talks. And people find that suspicious, because during the negotiations, it seemed like she threw everything she had at Mel. --The question is, if these pictures are legit, and if Mel really HAD given Oksana a black eye during their relationship, why didn't she bring the pictures to the table, or even MENTION the black eye during the meetings?
HERE'S VIDEO OF OKSANA YELLING AT THE PAPARAZZI:
OKSANA GRIGORIEVA isn't nearly as scary when she yells as MEL GIBSON is. She also doesn't curse like he does. (--Check out video of Oksana yelling at the paparazzi for filming her . . .)
http://www.etonline.com/news/2010/07/89620/index.html
HERE'S HOW LINDSAY LOHAN SPENT HER FIRST FEW DAYS IN JAIL:
If you're wondering how LINDSAY LOHAN has been spending her time behind bars . . . well, yesterday, her attorney said she's been EATING TWIZZLERS AND CREATING ART. --And now, "People" magazine has published a day-by-day synopsis of how Lindsay spent her first several days in the can . . . from check-in last Tuesday through this past Saturday. (--You can check it out here . . .)
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20405660,00.html
MICHAEL LOHAN HAS RELEASED A REALLY BAD SONG FOR LINDSAY:
MICHAEL LOHAN has released a really cheesy and incredibly bad song for his daughter LINDSAY. --TMZ says he wrote it when he was in prison from 2005 to 2007. (--He went up the river for attacking his wife DINA'S brother, then getting a DUI while awaiting sentencing on the assault charge.) --It seems to be a response to a track Lindsay released in 2005, called "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)". --Michael wrote and produced his song . . . but wisely, he didn't perform it himself. He got someone else to do it. There's no word on the title, but we're guessing, "A Father's Love" or "A Father's Love Will Never Die".
(--You can check it out here . . .)
http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_audio/072810_lilo_song.mp3
(--And here's the video for "Confessions of a Broken Heart" . . . which, not surprisingly, includes an angry and apparently violent dad . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yJqDTSufBE
A "FREE LINDSAY LOHAN" RALLY WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN OUTSIDE THE JAIL YESTERDAY . . . BUT NOBODY SHOWED UP:
Several websites claimed that there was supposed to be a "Free LINDSAY LOHAN" rally outside her jail yesterday afternoon. --It's not clear who called for it, or how they publicized it. But they didn't do a very good job . . . because according to E! Online, NOBODY SHOWED UP. --But Lindsay did get some support from family yesterday. DINA and ALI LOHAN, SAMANTHA RONSON and Lindsay's attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, all showed up for a visit. --Lindsay should be getting out within the next few days . . . possibly as early as Sunday.
CHRIS KLEIN IS EXTENDING HIS REHAB:
CHRIS KLEIN is serious about rehab this time around. So serious that he's staying longer than he originally planned to. --Klein . . . (--who played Oz in the first two "American Pie" movies) . . . checked into the Cirque Lodge in Utah back on June 21st, so he's been in there more than a month already. --But his rep says, quote, "Chris, along with his support team, has decided to extend his treatment. He is doing fantastic and is optimistic about his future. He thanks everyone for their continued support." --There's no word how long Klein originally planned on staying in rehab . . . or when he plans to leave. --Last month, Klein was arrested for his SECOND DUI. His first was in 2005. (--I still say Chris Klein drinks because he let KATIE HOLMES get away. I would.) (???)
MARK WAHLBERG WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH MARKY MARK ANYMORE:
MARK WAHLBERG got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday . . . and he made it clear that he wants to distance himself from his days as the leader of MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH. --He said, quote, "I don't miss those days. Although occasionally a show like 'Glee' does some of my songs, which is nice. I have no involvement with any of that now."
ZAC EFRON ASKED FOR VANESSA HUDGENS' PERMISSION BEFORE HE HIT THE STRIP CLUB:
ZAC EFRON admitted on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" that he went to a strip club in New York City recently with CORBIN BLEU and another guy. But he said he asked his girlfriend, VANESSA HUDGENS, for permission first. --He said, quote, "The hardest thing was calling your girlfriend before. How do you even start that conversation without feeling like a total (A-hole)? [But] she was fine with it." --Zac denied he and his friends spent anywhere near the 2-grand that was reported. --And he added, quote, "I'm not really a type of guy who does this kind of thing often. I had this image of what it'd be like. --"I've heard a lot about these places, mostly from rap music . . . they're supposed to be pretty reputable! So I envisioned myself in a nice couch with 'stunna shades' with T-Pain and Usher making it rain money. And it just wasn't like that."
NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND
LET STEVE CARELL SAVE YOU FROM THAT NEW "CATS & DOGS" FLICK:
#1.) "Dinner For Schmucks" (PG-13)
--Paul Rudd is invited to a monthly event where his boss rewards the executive who brings the biggest loser. And he finds a sure "winner" in Steve Carell, a friendless IRS employee who makes his character on "The Office" seem completely normal.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgEDubRe6M8
Official Site: http://www.dinnerforschmucks.com
#2.) "Charlie St. Cloud" (PG-13)
--After surviving a car accident that killed his little brother, Zac Efron starts spending more time with his brother's ghost than real people. A hot chick named Amanda Crew eventually tempts him back to the real world.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHvU5l5xn0g
Official Site: http://www.charliestcloud.com
#3.) "Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore" (PG)
--This is a sequel to the 2001 kids flick "Cats and Dogs", about how your pets are actually smarter than you, and run around like secret agents. Or something. In this one, the dogs and cats team up to stop a super cat-villain, played by Bette Midler.
--Some of the other voices you'll recognize include Sean Hayes, Christina Applegate, Nick Nolte, James Marsden, and Neil Patrick Harris.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh5k0zL6ps0
Official Site: http://catsanddogsmovie.warnerbros.com
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS IS DOING A MOVIE CALLED "REPLY ALL":
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS . . . (a.k.a. Alan from "The Hangover") . . . will star in a comedy that will probably hit home for a lot of us. It's called "Reply All" . . . and I think we all know what it's about. --Zach plays a guy who mistakenly hits "reply all" on an email . . . and has to deal with the calamity that ensues. (--You can also catch Zach in theaters this weekend as one of the losers in the STEVE CARELL comedy "Dinner for Schmucks".)
"TOTAL RECALL" IS BEING REMADE:
If you hate the current crop of Hollywood remakes, you're probably not going to be cool with this: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S classic, 1990 sci-fi flick "Total Recall" is getting a redo. --It's being directed by LEN WISEMAN . . . who did the first two "Underworld" movies and "Live Free or Die Hard".
TROY AIKMAN *PROBABLY* ISN'T DOING "DANCING WITH THE STARS":
Apparently, it's "Dancing with the Stars" speculation season . . . once again. --It kicked off yesterday, with former Dallas Cowboys quarterback TROY AIKMAN telling the paparazzi that he'll be on the show, quote, "next year."
(--You can watch his BIG ANNOUNCEMENT, here . . .)
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=6aba6446-bc2a-433e-aa87-44dcd18aeedb
--Naturally, the entertainment gossip media FREAKED OUT over this. --But is it true? Probably not. To me, it does appear that he's just jerking the paparazzi around. And later, on Twitter, Troy said, quote, "I will not be on 'DWTS' . . . [it] interferes with 'American Idol' auditions." (--Hilariously, the entertainment gossip media was reluctant to let this drop that easily. Some sites suggest that he may just be denying it as "damage control" for "spoiling" his involvement before ABC's announcement.) (??????) --Meanwhile, TMZ says that MIKE SORRENTINO . . . a.k.a. "THE SITUATION" from "Jersey Shore" . . . is in talks to do "Dancing", but The Situation's manager says it isn't happening.
PRESIDENT OBAMA DOESN'T KNOW WHO SNOOKI IS:
PRESIDENT OBAMA made his bizarre appearance on "The View" yesterday, and during the interview . . . the yentas asked him a lot of hard-hitting questions. --His most CRUCIAL answers came during a so-called "lightning round," in which JOY BEHAR asked him about various celebrities. Here's a summary of how it went: --When asked if he knew LINDSAY LOHAN was in jail . . . Obama said, quote, "I actually know that, yes." --When asked if MEL GIBSON needs anger management . . . Obama said, quote, "I . . . I . . . Let me answer the Afghanistan question!" --Then he added, quote, "I haven't seen a Mel Gibson movie in a while." --And when asked if Snooki should run for mayor of Wasilla . . . Obama said, quote, "I gotta admit, I don't know who Snooki is. (--The President is not aware of "Jersey Shore"??? Well . . . I don't know about you, but my confidence in him just surged. Well played, Mr. President.) --Obama also revealed that he has JAY-Z, FRANK SINATRA and MARIA CALLAS on his iPod . . . but no JUSTIN BIEBER. Although, he did add that he's met Justin . . . and referred to him as, quote, "a very nice young man."
(--Here's video . . .)
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b192778_obama_hits_view_poitier_gets_prez_seal.html
DREW CAREY IS OK WITH BOB BARKER'S COMMENTS:
DREW CAREY doesn't mind that BOB BARKER essentially said that Drew doesn't make "The Price as Right" as exciting as he did. -Drew says, quote, "Bob Barker is great . . . he's allowed to say what he wants. I don't think he really meant it. Yeah, I love Bob Barker. He can say whatever he wants, he's Bob Barker." By the way, if you haven't noticed, Drew has lost 70 POUNDS over the past six months or so on a strict no-carb diet.
WEEKEND TV REMINDERS
FRIDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"The Short List" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on VH1. (--A new series that counts down the hottest, craziest and cutest pop-culture events, starting tonight with the "10 Craziest Lady Gaga Fashion Moments".)
--"Say Yes To the Dress" [5th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on TLC. (--"American Choppers'" Paul Teutul Jr. and his fianceé shop for her wedding gown.)
--"Say Yes To The Dress: Atlanta" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC. (--This unnecessary spin-off is set in an upscale bridal salon in Georgia.)
--"Glenn Martin DDS" . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Nickelodeon. (--Sean Hayes guest stars as a San Francisco Mint tour guide who secretly prints his own bills.)
--"DC Cupcakes" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.
--"Jason Mraz's What A Beautiful Mess: Live From Earth" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on VH1. (--Jason Mraz performs from the Chicago Charter One Pavilion.)
SATURDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"Cops: Coast to Coast" [22nd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on Fox.
--"Wanda Sykes Show" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Fox. (--"Lost's" Michelle Rodriguez, comedienne Paula Poundstone, Tim Meadows and TV personality Jillian Barberie guest.) (REPEAT)
--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Ashton Kutcher guest hosts and Them Crooked Vultures is the musical guest.) (REPEAT)
SUNDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"Sons of Tucson" [SERIES FINALE] . . . 7:00 to 7:30 P.M. on Fox.
--"Big Brother 12" [Eviction Nominations] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.
--"The Next Food Network Star" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Food Network. (--"Desperate Housewives" minx Eva Longoria guest judges and asks the finalists to prepare a dish based on an emotion.)
--"Leverage" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TNT. (--Bill Engvall guest stars as a crooked dealer in a car-theft ring.)
NE-YO "DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO" WITH THE SONGS HE WROTE FOR MICHAEL JACKSON:
NE-YO wrote a lot of material for MICHAEL JACKSON before he died last June. In fact, in the weeks leading up to his death, Ne-Yo says he was sending Michael three or four song drafts a week. --So, what's going to happen to all of that stuff now? Well, Ne-Yo has NO IDEA. --He says, quote, "I can't sell them on to someone else . . . as that would be disrespectful . . . but I also think it might be disrespectful to bring them out myself. --"So I don't know, I'll sit on them and wait. It's definitely quality music but they were songs written absolutely for Michael Jackson. Hopefully the songs will see the light of day, it just has to be the right way." --By the way, during one of Ne-Yo's meetings with Michael, Michael shared his DISGUST with the current state of the music industry. -Ne-Yo says, quote, "He believed what was wrong with a lot of music today is that people aren't singing about anything. If it's not about a party or sex then it's about money, and there's not really much to that. --"Michael told me the melodies [he wanted] needed to be the ones you heard once and could sing back, and the lyrics needed to have meaning and depth."
CHECK OUT A VIDEO OF SHAQ SINGING TO JUSTIN BIEBER:
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL recently serenaded JUSTIN BIEBER during a sound-check before Justin's concert in Phoenix earlier this week. --Shaq sang, quote, "Justin Bieber, yes I love you, I hope you like me. I'm your biggest fan." And then, from the stage, Justin shouted, quote, "Sing it again!" (--Here's video of this weirdness . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iYTei9eSfk
--Afterwards, Justin posted this on Twitter: Quote, "got surprised by my man @THE_REAL_SHAQ on stage tonight in Pheonix . . . cant wait until u see why!!! PHEONIX GOES HARD!!! GREAT NIGHT!!"
--And Shaq Tweeted, quote, "I was at a Justin Bieber concert he had dat mug jumpin, 50 thousand people . . . dat kids a star, and I got his autograph. Thanks Justin." (--A while back, we heard that Justin will be on the second season of Shaq's reality show, "Shaq Vs.". Shaq will be challenging Justin to a dance-off.)
DIDDY'S TOP 10 WAYS TO ATTAIN MONEY, POWER AND RESPECT:
When I think of DIDDY, three words immediately come to mind. --Money, Power and Respect . . . aren't those words. --But when Diddy thinks of Diddy . . . those are the Top Three. And now, in an interview with "Vibe" magazine, Diddy is providing us normal people with a list of his Top 10 Ways to Attain Money, Power and Respect. Here they are:
#1.) Work hard. Then work harder. (--Bonus: That counts as one thing, not two!)
#2.) Believe. Never lose your faith!!!
#3.) Count your pennies.
#4.) Be humble.
#5.) Listen.
#6.) Love.
#7.) Don't make the same mistake twice.
#8.) Never settle.
#9.) Be confident.
#10.) Don't get comfortable.
AND NOW . . . KANYE "PERFORMED" AT TWITTER HEADQUARTERS:
KANYE WEST continued his A Cappella Social Media Tour. After performing a seemingly impromptu, unplugged set at Facebook's headquarters earlier this week, he has now done a similar set at Twitter's headquarters. --If you're wondering what the hell is going on . . . that's still unclear. --At Twitter, Kanye was not standing on a folding table like he was at Facebook. Instead, he was standing in the middle of a room . . . surrounded by employees . . . kind of like how summer camp talent shows were set up when you were a kid.
(--Here's a video. The audio is pretty bad, but it was at summer camp, too.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdLn_swmOHg
(--By the way, Kanye's new Twitter account . . . which he just launched yesterday . . . is pretty amazing. He already has a ton of followers, and he wrote almost 100 Tweets within the first 24 hours.)
(--If you don't have anything better to do, hit it up: http://twitter.com/kanyewest.)
(--This is our favorite post so far: It's a picture of Kanye at the airport doing that camera trick where you make it look like you're holding something really big in your hand. In this case, he's making a jet look like a toy. Here it is . . .)
http://tweetphoto.com/35487023
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
A WOMAN FINDS OUT HER HUSBAND HAS ANOTHER WIFE WHEN SHE SEES THE WEDDING PHOTOS ON FACEBOOK:
Websites like Facebook make it REALLY hard to lead a double life these days. Seriously, if they don't tighten the privacy reins back up, people are going to have to stop cheating on their wives altogether. --There's a woman in Cleveland, who was only identified by the alias "Megan", and she recently found out her husband had gotten married to another woman . . . after she found their wedding photos on Facebook. --Megan's husband was supposedly travelling a lot for work. But it turns out, like LEBRON JAMES, he was leaving Cleveland to go to Florida. Down in the Tampa area, he started a relationship with another woman, and they decided to get married. --They even had a wedding at Disney World in Orlando where she dressed as Sleeping Beauty and he dressed as Prince Charming. (--So this guy's not only a cheater, he's obnoxiously cheesy. And yet he found TWO wives.) --He did a good job covering his tracks, but his new bride didn't. When Facebook changed its privacy policy to allow everyone to see everything you post, she didn't set hers back to private. So all of the photos were just out there to see. --Megan obviously plans to get divorced from her husband. He claims she won't have to . . . he says that when they got married, they filled out the paperwork incorrectly, so they haven't actually been legally married this entire time. --They have two young children together. The guy and his new wife don't have any children, but she has two kids from a previous relationship. (NBC 3 - Cleveland)
NINE OUT OF 10 WOMEN PLAN THEIR WEDDINGS AT WORK:
From what we've observed, after a woman gets engaged, every word she says from that point on is about her wedding. So it's really not a surprise that an overwhelming majority of women let the planning of their wedding take precedence over their job. --According to a new survey, 90% of women plan their weddings while they're on the clock at work. And the average woman plans 30% of her wedding from the office. --The most amazing part is that, as a society, we fear BRIDE RAGE so much that NO ONE calls women out for planning their weddings on company time. Only 15% of women say anyone's ever said a word to them about it. (AOL Jobs)
WOMEN ARE NOW GETTING FOOT REDUCTIONS SO THEY CAN FIT INTO SMALLER SHOES:
Well this seems like a good use of money. Apparently, plastic surgeons around the country are now offering FOOT REDUCTIONS . . . and supposedly women are FLOCKING to have it done. --The procedure is called 'Beverly Hills Aesthetic Foot Surgery,' and it's targeted at women who can't wear tighter or smaller designer shoes because their toes are too long, or their feet are too wide. --But actually, there aren't any hard numbers out yet on how many women have gotten the surgery. (Daily Mail)
PFIZER WILL SOON SELL "VIAGRA FOR CHILDREN" . . . WHICH IS DIRTY FOR DIFFERENT REASONS THAN YOU THINK:
On the surface, this sounds ridiculously dirty: Pfizer is about to start selling VIAGRA FOR CHILDREN. --But fortunately, it's not to help kids with sexual dysfunction. Since Viagra modifies a person's blood flow, it's actually really useful in fighting a lung disease called pulmonary arterial hypertension, which affects about 600 kids a year. --Sounds great, right? A nice humanitarian gesture . . . using the world's most famous sexual aide to help ease the dizziness, fatigue and severe pain that come with this disease. Well . . . let's circle back around to it being kinda dirty again. --Pfizer isn't doing this out of the goodness of its heart. In fact, when the FDA asked them to tweak Viagra to make it suitable for treating kids, they initially said NO . . . since they couldn't make enough of a profit helping ONLY 600 sick kids a year. --So the FDA made a deal with them. The patent for Viagra expires in 2012. That means in less than two years it's open season . . . generic manufacturers can make and sell it, and Pfizer's Viagra profits will be exponentially slashed. --But the FDA said they'd EXTEND the Viagra patent by six months . . . giving Pfizer six more months of profit, which could be worth more than $1 BILLION . . . if Pfizer tweaks Viagra to make it suitable for treating kids' lung problems. --Pfizer agreed, and now that there's profit to be had, the Viagra for Children should hit the market soon. (New York Post)
IRAN'S PRESIDENT HAS TARGETED A NEW ENEMY . . . PAUL THE OCTOPUS:
The president of Iran is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and it's pronounced ah-mah-DIH-nee-zhahd. ) --Yesterday he picked a fight with a new ENEMY . . . Paul the octopus. That would be the octopus in Germany who predicted World Cup games. Really. --In case you missed it, during the World Cup, there was an aquarium in Germany with a PSYCHIC OCTOPUS. His name was Paul. --And throughout the World Cup, he had a PERFECT record predicting the winner of all seven of the games Germany played in, plus the final. (--To pick a winner, aquarium staff would put two boxes in his tank, covered with the flags representing each team. Paul would eat a mussel from one of the boxes and that would be his pick.) --Well . . . during a recent speech, Ahmadinejad REPEATEDLY mentioned Paul the Octopus and called him, quote, "an example of methods of propaganda and superstitions of the West." --There's more, quote, "Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values." (Mediaite) (--Here's a video of Paul making a pick earlier in the month . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJYv5rul11M
THE MOST POPULAR PLACE TO RENT MOVIES IN THE U.S. IS . . . THE PUBLIC LIBRARY:
While Netflix and Redbox work every day to one-up each other and squeeze every last dollar out of DVD rentals before streaming takes over . . . it turns out they're BOTH losing to a silent, nerdy competitor. --According to a new study, PUBLIC LIBRARIES distribute more DVDs every day than any other service. Their biggest advantage, of course, is that libraries lend out DVDs for FREE, and the others make you pay. --Libraries lend out 2.1 million DVDs per day, Netflix mails out two million a day, and people rent 1.4 million a day from Redboxes. Blockbuster's numbers weren't provided, but they're believed to be lower than 2.1 million per day. (Hartford Courant)
A TOWN IN ILLINOIS WANTS TO MAKE IT ILLEGAL TO ROLL YOUR EYES:
I usually WANT to give our fine elected leaders the benefit of the doubt . . . but if they take away my right to be a sarcastic a-hole, so help me God, I will riot in the streets --The town of Elmhurst, Illinois, wants to make it illegal to sarcastically ROLL YOUR EYES.
-Their plan is to expand the definition of disorderly conduct to include eye rolling . . . so if you're caught doing it, you'll get a ticket and a fine. --Under Illinois law, disorderly conduct is defined as, quote, "an act in such unreasonable matter as to alarm or disturb another, or to provoke a breach of the peace." And the city council in Elmhurst thinks eye rolling might qualify. --It became an issue after a woman named Darlene Heslop came to a town meeting and rolled her eyes and sighed loudly while one of the council members was talking. She was asked to leave the meeting. (Tribute Local)
THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE WILL BE SUICIDE-PROOF IN THREE YEARS!
The Golden Gate Bridge opened in San Francisco back in 1937. Since then, somewhere between 1,300 and 2,000 people have KILLED THEMSELVES by jumping off of it. --That makes it the most popular suicide destination in the world. And finally, 73 years later, officials think it's time to put a stop to it. --San Francisco's Metropolitan Transportation Commission just approved a plan to build a GIANT STEEL NET about 20 feet below the bridge, which would catch any jumpers and keep them from hitting the water. --Actually, they've been debating the plan for years, and now it's finally gotten the green light. The idea is that after a person jumps, they'll land in the net, and a CHERRY PICKER truck will be dispatched to pluck them out. --The net will cost $45 MILLION and will be done in three years. And after it's done, the Golden Gate Bridge SHOULD be completely suicide-proof. You know . . . unless people decide to just step in front of traffic instead of jumping. --The city is working with engineers to make sure the net isn't TOO ugly . . . because they want to keep people from killing themselves, but they also don't want to mess up one of the world's most iconic landmarks. (New York Times)
A 73-YEAR-OLD GREAT-GRANDMOTHER BITES A MAN TO STOP HIM FROM STEALING HER PURSE:
73-year-old Patricia Robertson of Daytona Beach, Florida, has four children, nine grandchildren, five great-grandchildren, and now . . . more STREET CRED than all of them combined. --Earlier this week, Patricia was at a gas station in Holly Hill, Florida, when she started having a friendly conversation with a couple in a pick-up truck. They were 33-year-old Michael Foster and his girlfriend, 31-year-old Sharon Brooker. --When Patricia got close to the truck, Michael reached out the window and tried to GRAB Patricia's purse. So Patricia responded by BITING HIS HAND. --Sharon was at the wheel, and started driving away. Patricia held on . . . with her teeth still on Michael's hand . . . and ended up being dragged a few feet before her body finally gave out and she let go. --Fortunately, another person at the gas station watched where Michael and Sharon were driving and relayed the info to the police. They quickly caught up, saw the bite mark on Michael's hand, arrested the couple, and returned Patricia's purse. (--Which, if MY grandmother's purse is any indication, was the size of a small suitcase and contains enough hard candies and Werther's Originals to single-handedly keep the dental industry alive.) --Patricia is pretty banged up from the incident . . . her shoulder is sore and one of her teeth is loose . . . and she also says she hasn't stopped crying since it happened. But she's grateful that the thieves were caught. (Daytona Beach News-Journal)
HERE ARE THREE GREAT PSYCHOLOGICAL TRICKS TO HELP SELL YOUR HOUSE:
We're not sure if you heard, but now that 19-year-olds can't get three high-interest mortgages using their Xbox 360 as their only form of collateral, it's kinda tough to sell a house these days. So you really need any edge you can get. -The website SmartMoney.com put together a list of psychological tricks that can help you sell your house for the price you want. Check these out . . .
#1.) DON'T BRAG ABOUT YOUR NEW CARPET OR PAINT. A study found that listings that mentioned new paint, new carpet, new roof work and other aesthetic touches actually sold for LESS MONEY than listings that didn't. --The reason is that when you brag about cosmetic changes, buyers think you're HIDING something . . . like you put on a coat of paint because you wanted to distract them from other problems lurking in the house.
#2.) HIRE A SEXY FEMALE REAL ESTATE AGENT. A study at Old Dominion University found that both men AND women were more likely to pay higher prices if the real estate agent selling the house was an attractive woman. --A handsome male real estate agent didn't have any impact on the price.
#3.) MARKET OUTSIDE THE STATE. People moving from another state are usually willing to pay more than locals . . . especially when they come from states that have higher real estate prices. (Smart Money)
NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A WOMAN WAS ATTACKED DURING A BREAK-IN . . . AND HER BROTHER GAVE A RIDICULOUS INTERVIEW ON THE LOCAL NEWS:
A guy broke into a woman's apartment in Huntsville, Alabama, and climbed in bed with her. The woman was able to fight him off, but the guy got away. Anyway . . . we're only talking about it because of the weird interview her brother gave to a local news station. --He sounded a little strange, and he told people in the neighborhood to, quote, "Hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your HUSBAND, because they're raping everybody out here." (--Search for "Antoine Dodson Lincoln Park rapist video." Here's a video of just the brother's interview, and also the full news report.)
http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2010/07/29
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua-OqYZC1DA
#2.) PASSENGERS SAT ON A 100-DEGREE PLANE FOR THREE HOURS WITH NO WATER . . . AND A GUY VIDEOTAPED HOW MUCH HE WAS SWEATING:
Passengers on a Delta Airlines flight in Phoenix had to wait on a 100-degree plane for three hours with NO WATER. And one passenger shot video of it to show how much he was sweating. At one point, he wiped his bald head and the sweat just POURED off.
(--Search for "Delta flight from hell DesertSmokeBBQ." In the first video, he wipes the sweat away at :40. The second is an interview he did with MSNBC.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzrRR-PKkRU
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38469525/ns/travel-travel_tips
#3.) ZACH GALIFIANAKIS INTERVIEWED STEVE CARELL ON "BETWEEN TWO FERNS":
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS has a great series on FunnyOrDie.com called "Between Two Ferns". Basically, he does awkward interviews with celebrities and insults them the entire time. --They posted a new one yesterday, and it's with STEVE CARELL. But this time, Carell tries to turn the tables. (--Search for "Between Two Ferns Steve Carell.")
(--WARNING: This video includes the F-word.)
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/ed36fa1ab6/between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis-steve-carell/
#4.) THE TOP 50 ESPN COMMERCIALS OF ALL TIME:
The website BleacherReport.com put together a list of the top fifty ESPN commercials of all time. And while ESPN has definitely done a LOT of great commercials over the years, we'll save you the time of going through the annoying slideshow. --First place went to their classic "Y2K Ready" ad, where all hell breaks loose in the studio. (--Search for "BleacherReport.com top 50 ESPN commercials." Here's first place, and a link to the whole list.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhYxLd8O9lA
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/426255-the-top-50-espn-commercials
FOUR WAYS TO MAKE MARRIED RELATIONS BETTER:
Most people expect their sex lives to fade after they get married, but it doesn't HAVE to be that way. I'm not saying marriage will ever be a parade of hot, mind-blowing sex. But with some effort from both of you, you can keep it fresh. --Here are four tips for having better sex once you're married.
#1.) USE SEX TO GET PAST RUTS IN YOUR MARRIAGE. There are going to be times in your marriage when careers, kids, and other important stuff pack your schedule and get in the way of your relationship. --But even during those ruts, you can't forget about sex. You just have to use the little time you DO have together wisely. And by that I mean, get NASTY whenever you have the chance.
#2.) STOP LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE. It might sound a little harsh, but when you're getting busy, it helps to stop thinking of each other as husband and wife . . . or as the mother and father of your children. --If you want to put a new spin on a tired bedroom routine, you have to be willing to fantasize . . . and to let your filthy imaginations run wild.
#3.) KEEP UP YOUR APPEARANCE. People tend to let themselves go when they get married, and there are a ton of reasons why. But aside from the health problems it can cause, there's your sex life to think about. --Because if you don't take an interest in taking care of yourself, the person you're boning might stop taking an interest in YOU. --So do whatever you can to maintain your looks . . . and it doesn't hurt to wear something sexy to bed every now and then.
#4.) MAKE YOUR ROOM A NO-KID ZONE. This one's simple: If your kids know that your bedroom's off-limits, that means more space and time for you to be alone, to practice some healthy, consensual fornication. (Ask Men)
"AMERICAN IDOL" SURPRISE: ELLEN DEGENERES HAS JUMPED SHIP:
A fascinating new wrinkle was added to The Simon Successor Search yesterday, when ELLEN DEGENERES announced that she's QUITTING "American Idol". --Basically, Ellen decided to kick "Idol" because she was too busy and nice to continue doing it. --She released a statement saying, quote, "A couple months ago, I let Fox and the 'American Idol' producers know that this didn't feel like the right fit for me. --"I told them I wouldn't leave them in a bind . . . and that I would hold off on doing anything until they were able to figure out where they wanted to take the panel next. --"It was a difficult decision to make, but my work schedule became more than I bargained for. I also realized this season that while I love discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for me to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings. --"I loved the experience working on 'Idol' and I am very grateful for the year I had. I am a huge fan of the show and will continue to be." --And on Twitter, Ellen said quote, "Dim the lights . . . I've voted myself off 'American Idol'." (--That would've worked really well if she was referring to "Survivor". As an "Idol" reference, it's just OK. Kind of like her judging.) --On one hand, you'd think that "Idol" can't be too thrilled with Ellen leaving since they're already having enough trouble finding a replacement for SIMON COWELL . . . and now their job just became twice as big. --But on the other hand, perhaps the show is OK with the idea of overhauling the judges' panel. --Former "Idol" executive producer NIGEL LYTHGOE . . . who you know best as the lead judge on "So You Think You Can Dance" . . . has rejoined "Idol". And earlier this year, he suggested that "Idol" should replace ALL the judges. (--Basically, he said the show should rediscover its roots. He pointed out . . . accurately, in my opinion . . . that "Idol" has bcome TOO MUCH about the judges and their bantering, and should be refocused on the TALENT, or lack there of.) --For the record, KARA DIOGUARDI is NOT signed for the upcoming season, and TMZ says she's been fired. Although as of now, she is expected to come back. RANDY JACKSON . . . who's arguably become the LEAST USEFUL judge . . . has one more year on his deal. --But there's no indication that Ellen was nudged out. All kinds of people from Fox, including "Idol" producers, released statements expressing their love for Ellen . . . and their disappointment that she will not be returning for another season. (--Ellen reportedly had FOUR more years on her "Idol" contract.)
AND NOW . . . COURTNEY LOVE IS IN TALKS TO REPLACE SIMON: (???)
If you thought the speculation about SIMON COWELL'S replacement couldn't get WORSE than the rumor about JESSICA SIMPSON . . . you haven't heard about this. --NBC Los Angeles is claiming that "American Idol" producers are discussing the gig with COURTNEY LOVE. (?!?) Supposedly, the talks are, quote, "in the early stages, but they are serious."
OR . . . WILL JENNIFER LOPEZ AND AEROSMITH SINGER STEVEN TYLER BE THE NEXT "AMERICAN IDOL" JUDGES:
Late last night, yet ANOTHER "American Idol" rumor started snowballing. --This one is that JENNIFER LOPEZ will be joining the judges' panel. At first, it seemed like just the fringe showbiz sites were reporting it . . . but then "People" magazine jumped on the bandwagon. --A so-called "insider" tells them, quote, "It's true. She's excited about it." --Nothing is official yet, but it sounds like it IS happening. -Deadline.com says that she will replace ELLEN DEGENERES, and that makes sense. Ellen probably wasn't going to officially announce that she was quitting until they had someone locked in to replace her . . . so maybe that's how it went down. --Meanwhile, some random site called GossipCop.com claims that they've heard . . . from a, quote, "reliable source" that AEROSMITH singer STEVEN TYLER has been offered Simon's seat. (--I don't know about that one. Aerosmith just reconnected after NEARLY splitting up. Unless they DO break up, I have a feeling he's going to be busy touring and recording a new album with them.) (--Anyway, I just had a new idea: What about STEVE PERRY from JOURNEY? He's got a helluva voice . . . and is probably just sitting around at home.)
THE LATEST MEL GIBSON AUDIO IS SAFE TO PLAY ON THE AIR!!!
A new MEL GIBSON voicemail hit the web yesterday, and you're not going to believe this: There's not ONE SINGLE CURSE WORD IN IT. It's totally safe for work. Anybody's work. Even if you work in the Vatican. --It was left at about 1:00 P.M. on February 20th. That's 10 hours after Mel left all those ranting and raving voicemails we heard yesterday. --In this one, Mel is completely calm, because he has decided that, quote, "There is no passion left . . . so I don't need to get mad."--Instead of calling to ream out OKSANA GRIGORIEVA again, he wants to, quote, "talk reasonably about schedules" for the baby. --He's pretty hoarse from all the screaming he'd done the day before, and even admits, quote, "I haven't got a voice left." (--You can listen to it here . . .)
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/07/exclusive-audio-mels-final-message-oksana-i-havent-got-a-voice-left
WHY DID OKSANA *NOT* BRING OUT THOSE PICTURES OF HER BLACK EYE WHEN SHE WAS NEGOTIATING HER $15 MILLION SETTLEMENT WITH MEL???
There's a story floating around that we've heard before . . . that MEL GIBSON and OKSANA GRIGORIEVA hammered out a settlement after they broke up that would have given Oksana $15 million. --In order to rate that kind of money, Oksana reportedly brought out all her big guns . . . like the audio we've been hearing on almost a daily basis, and those pictures of Oksana's busted veneers, and the supposed bruise on their daughter's chin. --The story went that after two days of negotiations, Oksana and Mel agreed to the settlement in principal, but Oksana backed out at the last second. --According to HER version of the story, the agreement called for Mel to have unsupervised visits with their daughter, and she ultimately wasn't comfortable with that. --Anyway . . . that settlement has come up again, because there's something fishy about what Oksana DIDN'T bring to those meetings. --Sources say those pictures of Oksana with a black eye that surfaced recently were not a part of the settlement talks. And people find that suspicious, because during the negotiations, it seemed like she threw everything she had at Mel. --The question is, if these pictures are legit, and if Mel really HAD given Oksana a black eye during their relationship, why didn't she bring the pictures to the table, or even MENTION the black eye during the meetings?
HERE'S VIDEO OF OKSANA YELLING AT THE PAPARAZZI:
OKSANA GRIGORIEVA isn't nearly as scary when she yells as MEL GIBSON is. She also doesn't curse like he does. (--Check out video of Oksana yelling at the paparazzi for filming her . . .)
http://www.etonline.com/news/2010/07/89620/index.html
HERE'S HOW LINDSAY LOHAN SPENT HER FIRST FEW DAYS IN JAIL:
If you're wondering how LINDSAY LOHAN has been spending her time behind bars . . . well, yesterday, her attorney said she's been EATING TWIZZLERS AND CREATING ART. --And now, "People" magazine has published a day-by-day synopsis of how Lindsay spent her first several days in the can . . . from check-in last Tuesday through this past Saturday. (--You can check it out here . . .)
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20405660,00.html
MICHAEL LOHAN HAS RELEASED A REALLY BAD SONG FOR LINDSAY:
MICHAEL LOHAN has released a really cheesy and incredibly bad song for his daughter LINDSAY. --TMZ says he wrote it when he was in prison from 2005 to 2007. (--He went up the river for attacking his wife DINA'S brother, then getting a DUI while awaiting sentencing on the assault charge.) --It seems to be a response to a track Lindsay released in 2005, called "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)". --Michael wrote and produced his song . . . but wisely, he didn't perform it himself. He got someone else to do it. There's no word on the title, but we're guessing, "A Father's Love" or "A Father's Love Will Never Die".
(--You can check it out here . . .)
http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_audio/072810_lilo_song.mp3
(--And here's the video for "Confessions of a Broken Heart" . . . which, not surprisingly, includes an angry and apparently violent dad . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yJqDTSufBE
A "FREE LINDSAY LOHAN" RALLY WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN OUTSIDE THE JAIL YESTERDAY . . . BUT NOBODY SHOWED UP:
Several websites claimed that there was supposed to be a "Free LINDSAY LOHAN" rally outside her jail yesterday afternoon. --It's not clear who called for it, or how they publicized it. But they didn't do a very good job . . . because according to E! Online, NOBODY SHOWED UP. --But Lindsay did get some support from family yesterday. DINA and ALI LOHAN, SAMANTHA RONSON and Lindsay's attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, all showed up for a visit. --Lindsay should be getting out within the next few days . . . possibly as early as Sunday.
CHRIS KLEIN IS EXTENDING HIS REHAB:
CHRIS KLEIN is serious about rehab this time around. So serious that he's staying longer than he originally planned to. --Klein . . . (--who played Oz in the first two "American Pie" movies) . . . checked into the Cirque Lodge in Utah back on June 21st, so he's been in there more than a month already. --But his rep says, quote, "Chris, along with his support team, has decided to extend his treatment. He is doing fantastic and is optimistic about his future. He thanks everyone for their continued support." --There's no word how long Klein originally planned on staying in rehab . . . or when he plans to leave. --Last month, Klein was arrested for his SECOND DUI. His first was in 2005. (--I still say Chris Klein drinks because he let KATIE HOLMES get away. I would.) (???)
MARK WAHLBERG WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH MARKY MARK ANYMORE:
MARK WAHLBERG got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday . . . and he made it clear that he wants to distance himself from his days as the leader of MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH. --He said, quote, "I don't miss those days. Although occasionally a show like 'Glee' does some of my songs, which is nice. I have no involvement with any of that now."
ZAC EFRON ASKED FOR VANESSA HUDGENS' PERMISSION BEFORE HE HIT THE STRIP CLUB:
ZAC EFRON admitted on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" that he went to a strip club in New York City recently with CORBIN BLEU and another guy. But he said he asked his girlfriend, VANESSA HUDGENS, for permission first. --He said, quote, "The hardest thing was calling your girlfriend before. How do you even start that conversation without feeling like a total (A-hole)? [But] she was fine with it." --Zac denied he and his friends spent anywhere near the 2-grand that was reported. --And he added, quote, "I'm not really a type of guy who does this kind of thing often. I had this image of what it'd be like. --"I've heard a lot about these places, mostly from rap music . . . they're supposed to be pretty reputable! So I envisioned myself in a nice couch with 'stunna shades' with T-Pain and Usher making it rain money. And it just wasn't like that."
NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND
LET STEVE CARELL SAVE YOU FROM THAT NEW "CATS & DOGS" FLICK:
#1.) "Dinner For Schmucks" (PG-13)
--Paul Rudd is invited to a monthly event where his boss rewards the executive who brings the biggest loser. And he finds a sure "winner" in Steve Carell, a friendless IRS employee who makes his character on "The Office" seem completely normal.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgEDubRe6M8
Official Site: http://www.dinnerforschmucks.com
#2.) "Charlie St. Cloud" (PG-13)
--After surviving a car accident that killed his little brother, Zac Efron starts spending more time with his brother's ghost than real people. A hot chick named Amanda Crew eventually tempts him back to the real world.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHvU5l5xn0g
Official Site: http://www.charliestcloud.com
#3.) "Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore" (PG)
--This is a sequel to the 2001 kids flick "Cats and Dogs", about how your pets are actually smarter than you, and run around like secret agents. Or something. In this one, the dogs and cats team up to stop a super cat-villain, played by Bette Midler.
--Some of the other voices you'll recognize include Sean Hayes, Christina Applegate, Nick Nolte, James Marsden, and Neil Patrick Harris.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh5k0zL6ps0
Official Site: http://catsanddogsmovie.warnerbros.com
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS IS DOING A MOVIE CALLED "REPLY ALL":
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS . . . (a.k.a. Alan from "The Hangover") . . . will star in a comedy that will probably hit home for a lot of us. It's called "Reply All" . . . and I think we all know what it's about. --Zach plays a guy who mistakenly hits "reply all" on an email . . . and has to deal with the calamity that ensues. (--You can also catch Zach in theaters this weekend as one of the losers in the STEVE CARELL comedy "Dinner for Schmucks".)
"TOTAL RECALL" IS BEING REMADE:
If you hate the current crop of Hollywood remakes, you're probably not going to be cool with this: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S classic, 1990 sci-fi flick "Total Recall" is getting a redo. --It's being directed by LEN WISEMAN . . . who did the first two "Underworld" movies and "Live Free or Die Hard".
TROY AIKMAN *PROBABLY* ISN'T DOING "DANCING WITH THE STARS":
Apparently, it's "Dancing with the Stars" speculation season . . . once again. --It kicked off yesterday, with former Dallas Cowboys quarterback TROY AIKMAN telling the paparazzi that he'll be on the show, quote, "next year."
(--You can watch his BIG ANNOUNCEMENT, here . . .)
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=6aba6446-bc2a-433e-aa87-44dcd18aeedb
--Naturally, the entertainment gossip media FREAKED OUT over this. --But is it true? Probably not. To me, it does appear that he's just jerking the paparazzi around. And later, on Twitter, Troy said, quote, "I will not be on 'DWTS' . . . [it] interferes with 'American Idol' auditions." (--Hilariously, the entertainment gossip media was reluctant to let this drop that easily. Some sites suggest that he may just be denying it as "damage control" for "spoiling" his involvement before ABC's announcement.) (??????) --Meanwhile, TMZ says that MIKE SORRENTINO . . . a.k.a. "THE SITUATION" from "Jersey Shore" . . . is in talks to do "Dancing", but The Situation's manager says it isn't happening.
PRESIDENT OBAMA DOESN'T KNOW WHO SNOOKI IS:
PRESIDENT OBAMA made his bizarre appearance on "The View" yesterday, and during the interview . . . the yentas asked him a lot of hard-hitting questions. --His most CRUCIAL answers came during a so-called "lightning round," in which JOY BEHAR asked him about various celebrities. Here's a summary of how it went: --When asked if he knew LINDSAY LOHAN was in jail . . . Obama said, quote, "I actually know that, yes." --When asked if MEL GIBSON needs anger management . . . Obama said, quote, "I . . . I . . . Let me answer the Afghanistan question!" --Then he added, quote, "I haven't seen a Mel Gibson movie in a while." --And when asked if Snooki should run for mayor of Wasilla . . . Obama said, quote, "I gotta admit, I don't know who Snooki is. (--The President is not aware of "Jersey Shore"??? Well . . . I don't know about you, but my confidence in him just surged. Well played, Mr. President.) --Obama also revealed that he has JAY-Z, FRANK SINATRA and MARIA CALLAS on his iPod . . . but no JUSTIN BIEBER. Although, he did add that he's met Justin . . . and referred to him as, quote, "a very nice young man."
(--Here's video . . .)
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b192778_obama_hits_view_poitier_gets_prez_seal.html
DREW CAREY IS OK WITH BOB BARKER'S COMMENTS:
DREW CAREY doesn't mind that BOB BARKER essentially said that Drew doesn't make "The Price as Right" as exciting as he did. -Drew says, quote, "Bob Barker is great . . . he's allowed to say what he wants. I don't think he really meant it. Yeah, I love Bob Barker. He can say whatever he wants, he's Bob Barker." By the way, if you haven't noticed, Drew has lost 70 POUNDS over the past six months or so on a strict no-carb diet.
WEEKEND TV REMINDERS
FRIDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"The Short List" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on VH1. (--A new series that counts down the hottest, craziest and cutest pop-culture events, starting tonight with the "10 Craziest Lady Gaga Fashion Moments".)
--"Say Yes To the Dress" [5th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on TLC. (--"American Choppers'" Paul Teutul Jr. and his fianceé shop for her wedding gown.)
--"Say Yes To The Dress: Atlanta" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC. (--This unnecessary spin-off is set in an upscale bridal salon in Georgia.)
--"Glenn Martin DDS" . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Nickelodeon. (--Sean Hayes guest stars as a San Francisco Mint tour guide who secretly prints his own bills.)
--"DC Cupcakes" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.
--"Jason Mraz's What A Beautiful Mess: Live From Earth" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on VH1. (--Jason Mraz performs from the Chicago Charter One Pavilion.)
SATURDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"Cops: Coast to Coast" [22nd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on Fox.
--"Wanda Sykes Show" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Fox. (--"Lost's" Michelle Rodriguez, comedienne Paula Poundstone, Tim Meadows and TV personality Jillian Barberie guest.) (REPEAT)
--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Ashton Kutcher guest hosts and Them Crooked Vultures is the musical guest.) (REPEAT)
SUNDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"Sons of Tucson" [SERIES FINALE] . . . 7:00 to 7:30 P.M. on Fox.
--"Big Brother 12" [Eviction Nominations] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.
--"The Next Food Network Star" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Food Network. (--"Desperate Housewives" minx Eva Longoria guest judges and asks the finalists to prepare a dish based on an emotion.)
--"Leverage" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TNT. (--Bill Engvall guest stars as a crooked dealer in a car-theft ring.)
NE-YO "DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO" WITH THE SONGS HE WROTE FOR MICHAEL JACKSON:
NE-YO wrote a lot of material for MICHAEL JACKSON before he died last June. In fact, in the weeks leading up to his death, Ne-Yo says he was sending Michael three or four song drafts a week. --So, what's going to happen to all of that stuff now? Well, Ne-Yo has NO IDEA. --He says, quote, "I can't sell them on to someone else . . . as that would be disrespectful . . . but I also think it might be disrespectful to bring them out myself. --"So I don't know, I'll sit on them and wait. It's definitely quality music but they were songs written absolutely for Michael Jackson. Hopefully the songs will see the light of day, it just has to be the right way." --By the way, during one of Ne-Yo's meetings with Michael, Michael shared his DISGUST with the current state of the music industry. -Ne-Yo says, quote, "He believed what was wrong with a lot of music today is that people aren't singing about anything. If it's not about a party or sex then it's about money, and there's not really much to that. --"Michael told me the melodies [he wanted] needed to be the ones you heard once and could sing back, and the lyrics needed to have meaning and depth."
CHECK OUT A VIDEO OF SHAQ SINGING TO JUSTIN BIEBER:
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL recently serenaded JUSTIN BIEBER during a sound-check before Justin's concert in Phoenix earlier this week. --Shaq sang, quote, "Justin Bieber, yes I love you, I hope you like me. I'm your biggest fan." And then, from the stage, Justin shouted, quote, "Sing it again!" (--Here's video of this weirdness . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iYTei9eSfk
--Afterwards, Justin posted this on Twitter: Quote, "got surprised by my man @THE_REAL_SHAQ on stage tonight in Pheonix . . . cant wait until u see why!!! PHEONIX GOES HARD!!! GREAT NIGHT!!"
--And Shaq Tweeted, quote, "I was at a Justin Bieber concert he had dat mug jumpin, 50 thousand people . . . dat kids a star, and I got his autograph. Thanks Justin." (--A while back, we heard that Justin will be on the second season of Shaq's reality show, "Shaq Vs.". Shaq will be challenging Justin to a dance-off.)
DIDDY'S TOP 10 WAYS TO ATTAIN MONEY, POWER AND RESPECT:
When I think of DIDDY, three words immediately come to mind. --Money, Power and Respect . . . aren't those words. --But when Diddy thinks of Diddy . . . those are the Top Three. And now, in an interview with "Vibe" magazine, Diddy is providing us normal people with a list of his Top 10 Ways to Attain Money, Power and Respect. Here they are:
#1.) Work hard. Then work harder. (--Bonus: That counts as one thing, not two!)
#2.) Believe. Never lose your faith!!!
#3.) Count your pennies.
#4.) Be humble.
#5.) Listen.
#6.) Love.
#7.) Don't make the same mistake twice.
#8.) Never settle.
#9.) Be confident.
#10.) Don't get comfortable.
AND NOW . . . KANYE "PERFORMED" AT TWITTER HEADQUARTERS:
KANYE WEST continued his A Cappella Social Media Tour. After performing a seemingly impromptu, unplugged set at Facebook's headquarters earlier this week, he has now done a similar set at Twitter's headquarters. --If you're wondering what the hell is going on . . . that's still unclear. --At Twitter, Kanye was not standing on a folding table like he was at Facebook. Instead, he was standing in the middle of a room . . . surrounded by employees . . . kind of like how summer camp talent shows were set up when you were a kid.
(--Here's a video. The audio is pretty bad, but it was at summer camp, too.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdLn_swmOHg
(--By the way, Kanye's new Twitter account . . . which he just launched yesterday . . . is pretty amazing. He already has a ton of followers, and he wrote almost 100 Tweets within the first 24 hours.)
(--If you don't have anything better to do, hit it up: http://twitter.com/kanyewest.)
(--This is our favorite post so far: It's a picture of Kanye at the airport doing that camera trick where you make it look like you're holding something really big in your hand. In this case, he's making a jet look like a toy. Here it is . . .)
http://tweetphoto.com/35487023
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
A WOMAN FINDS OUT HER HUSBAND HAS ANOTHER WIFE WHEN SHE SEES THE WEDDING PHOTOS ON FACEBOOK:
Websites like Facebook make it REALLY hard to lead a double life these days. Seriously, if they don't tighten the privacy reins back up, people are going to have to stop cheating on their wives altogether. --There's a woman in Cleveland, who was only identified by the alias "Megan", and she recently found out her husband had gotten married to another woman . . . after she found their wedding photos on Facebook. --Megan's husband was supposedly travelling a lot for work. But it turns out, like LEBRON JAMES, he was leaving Cleveland to go to Florida. Down in the Tampa area, he started a relationship with another woman, and they decided to get married. --They even had a wedding at Disney World in Orlando where she dressed as Sleeping Beauty and he dressed as Prince Charming. (--So this guy's not only a cheater, he's obnoxiously cheesy. And yet he found TWO wives.) --He did a good job covering his tracks, but his new bride didn't. When Facebook changed its privacy policy to allow everyone to see everything you post, she didn't set hers back to private. So all of the photos were just out there to see. --Megan obviously plans to get divorced from her husband. He claims she won't have to . . . he says that when they got married, they filled out the paperwork incorrectly, so they haven't actually been legally married this entire time. --They have two young children together. The guy and his new wife don't have any children, but she has two kids from a previous relationship. (NBC 3 - Cleveland)
NINE OUT OF 10 WOMEN PLAN THEIR WEDDINGS AT WORK:
From what we've observed, after a woman gets engaged, every word she says from that point on is about her wedding. So it's really not a surprise that an overwhelming majority of women let the planning of their wedding take precedence over their job. --According to a new survey, 90% of women plan their weddings while they're on the clock at work. And the average woman plans 30% of her wedding from the office. --The most amazing part is that, as a society, we fear BRIDE RAGE so much that NO ONE calls women out for planning their weddings on company time. Only 15% of women say anyone's ever said a word to them about it. (AOL Jobs)
WOMEN ARE NOW GETTING FOOT REDUCTIONS SO THEY CAN FIT INTO SMALLER SHOES:
Well this seems like a good use of money. Apparently, plastic surgeons around the country are now offering FOOT REDUCTIONS . . . and supposedly women are FLOCKING to have it done. --The procedure is called 'Beverly Hills Aesthetic Foot Surgery,' and it's targeted at women who can't wear tighter or smaller designer shoes because their toes are too long, or their feet are too wide. --But actually, there aren't any hard numbers out yet on how many women have gotten the surgery. (Daily Mail)
PFIZER WILL SOON SELL "VIAGRA FOR CHILDREN" . . . WHICH IS DIRTY FOR DIFFERENT REASONS THAN YOU THINK:
On the surface, this sounds ridiculously dirty: Pfizer is about to start selling VIAGRA FOR CHILDREN. --But fortunately, it's not to help kids with sexual dysfunction. Since Viagra modifies a person's blood flow, it's actually really useful in fighting a lung disease called pulmonary arterial hypertension, which affects about 600 kids a year. --Sounds great, right? A nice humanitarian gesture . . . using the world's most famous sexual aide to help ease the dizziness, fatigue and severe pain that come with this disease. Well . . . let's circle back around to it being kinda dirty again. --Pfizer isn't doing this out of the goodness of its heart. In fact, when the FDA asked them to tweak Viagra to make it suitable for treating kids, they initially said NO . . . since they couldn't make enough of a profit helping ONLY 600 sick kids a year. --So the FDA made a deal with them. The patent for Viagra expires in 2012. That means in less than two years it's open season . . . generic manufacturers can make and sell it, and Pfizer's Viagra profits will be exponentially slashed. --But the FDA said they'd EXTEND the Viagra patent by six months . . . giving Pfizer six more months of profit, which could be worth more than $1 BILLION . . . if Pfizer tweaks Viagra to make it suitable for treating kids' lung problems. --Pfizer agreed, and now that there's profit to be had, the Viagra for Children should hit the market soon. (New York Post)
IRAN'S PRESIDENT HAS TARGETED A NEW ENEMY . . . PAUL THE OCTOPUS:
The president of Iran is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and it's pronounced ah-mah-DIH-nee-zhahd. ) --Yesterday he picked a fight with a new ENEMY . . . Paul the octopus. That would be the octopus in Germany who predicted World Cup games. Really. --In case you missed it, during the World Cup, there was an aquarium in Germany with a PSYCHIC OCTOPUS. His name was Paul. --And throughout the World Cup, he had a PERFECT record predicting the winner of all seven of the games Germany played in, plus the final. (--To pick a winner, aquarium staff would put two boxes in his tank, covered with the flags representing each team. Paul would eat a mussel from one of the boxes and that would be his pick.) --Well . . . during a recent speech, Ahmadinejad REPEATEDLY mentioned Paul the Octopus and called him, quote, "an example of methods of propaganda and superstitions of the West." --There's more, quote, "Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values." (Mediaite) (--Here's a video of Paul making a pick earlier in the month . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJYv5rul11M
THE MOST POPULAR PLACE TO RENT MOVIES IN THE U.S. IS . . . THE PUBLIC LIBRARY:
While Netflix and Redbox work every day to one-up each other and squeeze every last dollar out of DVD rentals before streaming takes over . . . it turns out they're BOTH losing to a silent, nerdy competitor. --According to a new study, PUBLIC LIBRARIES distribute more DVDs every day than any other service. Their biggest advantage, of course, is that libraries lend out DVDs for FREE, and the others make you pay. --Libraries lend out 2.1 million DVDs per day, Netflix mails out two million a day, and people rent 1.4 million a day from Redboxes. Blockbuster's numbers weren't provided, but they're believed to be lower than 2.1 million per day. (Hartford Courant)
A TOWN IN ILLINOIS WANTS TO MAKE IT ILLEGAL TO ROLL YOUR EYES:
I usually WANT to give our fine elected leaders the benefit of the doubt . . . but if they take away my right to be a sarcastic a-hole, so help me God, I will riot in the streets --The town of Elmhurst, Illinois, wants to make it illegal to sarcastically ROLL YOUR EYES.
-Their plan is to expand the definition of disorderly conduct to include eye rolling . . . so if you're caught doing it, you'll get a ticket and a fine. --Under Illinois law, disorderly conduct is defined as, quote, "an act in such unreasonable matter as to alarm or disturb another, or to provoke a breach of the peace." And the city council in Elmhurst thinks eye rolling might qualify. --It became an issue after a woman named Darlene Heslop came to a town meeting and rolled her eyes and sighed loudly while one of the council members was talking. She was asked to leave the meeting. (Tribute Local)
THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE WILL BE SUICIDE-PROOF IN THREE YEARS!
The Golden Gate Bridge opened in San Francisco back in 1937. Since then, somewhere between 1,300 and 2,000 people have KILLED THEMSELVES by jumping off of it. --That makes it the most popular suicide destination in the world. And finally, 73 years later, officials think it's time to put a stop to it. --San Francisco's Metropolitan Transportation Commission just approved a plan to build a GIANT STEEL NET about 20 feet below the bridge, which would catch any jumpers and keep them from hitting the water. --Actually, they've been debating the plan for years, and now it's finally gotten the green light. The idea is that after a person jumps, they'll land in the net, and a CHERRY PICKER truck will be dispatched to pluck them out. --The net will cost $45 MILLION and will be done in three years. And after it's done, the Golden Gate Bridge SHOULD be completely suicide-proof. You know . . . unless people decide to just step in front of traffic instead of jumping. --The city is working with engineers to make sure the net isn't TOO ugly . . . because they want to keep people from killing themselves, but they also don't want to mess up one of the world's most iconic landmarks. (New York Times)
A 73-YEAR-OLD GREAT-GRANDMOTHER BITES A MAN TO STOP HIM FROM STEALING HER PURSE:
73-year-old Patricia Robertson of Daytona Beach, Florida, has four children, nine grandchildren, five great-grandchildren, and now . . . more STREET CRED than all of them combined. --Earlier this week, Patricia was at a gas station in Holly Hill, Florida, when she started having a friendly conversation with a couple in a pick-up truck. They were 33-year-old Michael Foster and his girlfriend, 31-year-old Sharon Brooker. --When Patricia got close to the truck, Michael reached out the window and tried to GRAB Patricia's purse. So Patricia responded by BITING HIS HAND. --Sharon was at the wheel, and started driving away. Patricia held on . . . with her teeth still on Michael's hand . . . and ended up being dragged a few feet before her body finally gave out and she let go. --Fortunately, another person at the gas station watched where Michael and Sharon were driving and relayed the info to the police. They quickly caught up, saw the bite mark on Michael's hand, arrested the couple, and returned Patricia's purse. (--Which, if MY grandmother's purse is any indication, was the size of a small suitcase and contains enough hard candies and Werther's Originals to single-handedly keep the dental industry alive.) --Patricia is pretty banged up from the incident . . . her shoulder is sore and one of her teeth is loose . . . and she also says she hasn't stopped crying since it happened. But she's grateful that the thieves were caught. (Daytona Beach News-Journal)
HERE ARE THREE GREAT PSYCHOLOGICAL TRICKS TO HELP SELL YOUR HOUSE:
We're not sure if you heard, but now that 19-year-olds can't get three high-interest mortgages using their Xbox 360 as their only form of collateral, it's kinda tough to sell a house these days. So you really need any edge you can get. -The website SmartMoney.com put together a list of psychological tricks that can help you sell your house for the price you want. Check these out . . .
#1.) DON'T BRAG ABOUT YOUR NEW CARPET OR PAINT. A study found that listings that mentioned new paint, new carpet, new roof work and other aesthetic touches actually sold for LESS MONEY than listings that didn't. --The reason is that when you brag about cosmetic changes, buyers think you're HIDING something . . . like you put on a coat of paint because you wanted to distract them from other problems lurking in the house.
#2.) HIRE A SEXY FEMALE REAL ESTATE AGENT. A study at Old Dominion University found that both men AND women were more likely to pay higher prices if the real estate agent selling the house was an attractive woman. --A handsome male real estate agent didn't have any impact on the price.
#3.) MARKET OUTSIDE THE STATE. People moving from another state are usually willing to pay more than locals . . . especially when they come from states that have higher real estate prices. (Smart Money)
NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A WOMAN WAS ATTACKED DURING A BREAK-IN . . . AND HER BROTHER GAVE A RIDICULOUS INTERVIEW ON THE LOCAL NEWS:
A guy broke into a woman's apartment in Huntsville, Alabama, and climbed in bed with her. The woman was able to fight him off, but the guy got away. Anyway . . . we're only talking about it because of the weird interview her brother gave to a local news station. --He sounded a little strange, and he told people in the neighborhood to, quote, "Hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your HUSBAND, because they're raping everybody out here." (--Search for "Antoine Dodson Lincoln Park rapist video." Here's a video of just the brother's interview, and also the full news report.)
http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2010/07/29
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua-OqYZC1DA
#2.) PASSENGERS SAT ON A 100-DEGREE PLANE FOR THREE HOURS WITH NO WATER . . . AND A GUY VIDEOTAPED HOW MUCH HE WAS SWEATING:
Passengers on a Delta Airlines flight in Phoenix had to wait on a 100-degree plane for three hours with NO WATER. And one passenger shot video of it to show how much he was sweating. At one point, he wiped his bald head and the sweat just POURED off.
(--Search for "Delta flight from hell DesertSmokeBBQ." In the first video, he wipes the sweat away at :40. The second is an interview he did with MSNBC.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzrRR-PKkRU
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38469525/ns/travel-travel_tips
#3.) ZACH GALIFIANAKIS INTERVIEWED STEVE CARELL ON "BETWEEN TWO FERNS":
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS has a great series on FunnyOrDie.com called "Between Two Ferns". Basically, he does awkward interviews with celebrities and insults them the entire time. --They posted a new one yesterday, and it's with STEVE CARELL. But this time, Carell tries to turn the tables. (--Search for "Between Two Ferns Steve Carell.")
(--WARNING: This video includes the F-word.)
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/ed36fa1ab6/between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis-steve-carell/
#4.) THE TOP 50 ESPN COMMERCIALS OF ALL TIME:
The website BleacherReport.com put together a list of the top fifty ESPN commercials of all time. And while ESPN has definitely done a LOT of great commercials over the years, we'll save you the time of going through the annoying slideshow. --First place went to their classic "Y2K Ready" ad, where all hell breaks loose in the studio. (--Search for "BleacherReport.com top 50 ESPN commercials." Here's first place, and a link to the whole list.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhYxLd8O9lA
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/426255-the-top-50-espn-commercials
FOUR WAYS TO MAKE MARRIED RELATIONS BETTER:
Most people expect their sex lives to fade after they get married, but it doesn't HAVE to be that way. I'm not saying marriage will ever be a parade of hot, mind-blowing sex. But with some effort from both of you, you can keep it fresh. --Here are four tips for having better sex once you're married.
#1.) USE SEX TO GET PAST RUTS IN YOUR MARRIAGE. There are going to be times in your marriage when careers, kids, and other important stuff pack your schedule and get in the way of your relationship. --But even during those ruts, you can't forget about sex. You just have to use the little time you DO have together wisely. And by that I mean, get NASTY whenever you have the chance.
#2.) STOP LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE. It might sound a little harsh, but when you're getting busy, it helps to stop thinking of each other as husband and wife . . . or as the mother and father of your children. --If you want to put a new spin on a tired bedroom routine, you have to be willing to fantasize . . . and to let your filthy imaginations run wild.
#3.) KEEP UP YOUR APPEARANCE. People tend to let themselves go when they get married, and there are a ton of reasons why. But aside from the health problems it can cause, there's your sex life to think about. --Because if you don't take an interest in taking care of yourself, the person you're boning might stop taking an interest in YOU. --So do whatever you can to maintain your looks . . . and it doesn't hurt to wear something sexy to bed every now and then.
#4.) MAKE YOUR ROOM A NO-KID ZONE. This one's simple: If your kids know that your bedroom's off-limits, that means more space and time for you to be alone, to practice some healthy, consensual fornication. (Ask Men)
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