April 15, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

LARRY KING IS GETTING DIVORCED . . . FOR THE SEVENTH TIME:

LARRY KING has filed for his SEVENTH DIVORCE. (--One more and he catches up to ELIZABETH TAYLOR.) --Larry and his wife, country singer SHAWN SOUTHWICK, both filed yesterday . . . although Larry got his papers in first. --Larry's rep says, quote, "[Larry's] major concern is the welfare of his children, and beyond that he's not going to comment about the divorce." --And while both sides say they want to resolve things amicably, it doesn't sound like that's going to happen. --For starters, online sources are saying that Larry and Shawn ran to their divorce attorneys after a knock-down, drag-out fight yesterday morning, that ended with, quote, "cars screeching out of the driveway." --And people are saying the fight was over Larry's alleged affair with Shawn's younger sister, Shannon. --The "National Enquirer" first reported this supposed affair back in December. Larry denied it, of course . . . but sources said he'd spent over A MILLION DOLLARS on gifts for Shannon. (--In November of 2008, the "Enquirer" also said that Shawn had cheated on Larry . . . with a 28-year-old man who was coaching one of their sons' baseball teams.) --Shannon is denying the affair, of course. She says Larry has bought her gifts . . . but she adds, quote, "He has been nothing but generous to our entire family." --She adds, quote, "I'm tired for taking the rap for things. I did not have an affair with Larry. He's been like a father to me."


THE LARRY KING DIVORCE: WHAT'S AT STAKE:

LARRY KING and his wife SHAWN SOUTHWICK claim they want to work out their divorce amicably. But that's not going to happen. They're already digging their heels in on two key issues. --One of those issues is custody of their two sons. (--One is 11, and the other will be 10 next month) Larry wants joint custody . . . and he wants to deny Shawn spousal support. --But Shawn wants primary physical custody, plus spousal and child support. --Another thing they're headed for a showdown over is property. About two years ago, Larry signed over some prime real estate to Shawn . . . including the Beverly Hills mansion they've been living in, and two homes in Utah. --Some reports suggest that Larry did that for tax purposes. But there are so-called "sources" who say Larry did it because Shawn confronted him about his supposed relationship with her sister. --It was a good-faith gesture to prove to her that he was committed to the marriage. --Well, now that Larry is no longer committed to the marriage, he wants those houses back. In his divorce papers, he's asking that any property transfers conducted during the marriage be declared null and void. --Shawn, however, is asking the court to award her the houses AND all the artwork and furniture in them. --In his divorce papers, Larry lists the separation date as April 13th . . . which was Tuesday. Larry and Shawn were actually spotted having dinner at a Beverly Hills steakhouse that night. (--Larry is 76 years old. Shawn is 50.)


MEL GIBSON MAY HAVE BROKEN UP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND:

MEL GIBSON may have broken up with his girlfriend, Russian singer OKSANA GRIGORIEVA. They'd been together at least a year, and they have a daughter named Lucia . . . who was born last October. --Their relationship probably had at least SOMETHING to do with Mel's divorce from his wife, Robyn, after more than 29 years of marriage. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "[They] drifted apart. They're both working hard on their careers . . . They're still friends and they'll both raise their baby together." --Another source told "Us Weekly" that they ended things several months ago, but they're still close.


ANGELINA JOLIE IS NOT PREGNANT:

The not-always-reliable "Star" tabloid says that ANGELINA JOLIE is three months pregnant. But she's not. --Her rep says the report is, quote, "totally false."


ALEX RODRIGUEZ AND CAMERON DIAZ ARE STILL TOGETHER . . . ALLEGEDLY:

Back in February, we heard that ALEX RODRIGUEZ and CAMERON DIAZ were hooking up. Well, according to the "New York Post", they're still doing it. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "A-Rod's with Cameron. They've been keeping it quiet, but they're totally together."


DID ROBERT PATTINSON AND LEIGHTON MEESTER HOOK UP???

"In Touch Weekly" claims that "Twilight" stud ROBERT PATTINSON hooked up with "Gossip Girl" minx LEIGHTON MEESTER. --Rob was supposedly seen going into Leighton's New York apartment one night . . . and leaving at 11:00 A.M. the next morning. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "He ducked out of the building and hopped into a waiting car. He apparently spent the night with Leighton, and didn't want anyone to know!" --But a friend of Rob's says, quote, "I don't even think they know each other." (--Besides . . . isn't Rob dating KRISTEN STEWART???)

DID ELIN NORDEGREN VISIT A DIVORCE LAWYER???

RadarOnline.com says that TIGER WOODS' wife, ELIN NORDEGREN, visited a divorce lawyer before she left for Scottsdale, Arizona over the weekend. --They're also saying that Elin went to Scottsdale simply to take a vacation away from Tiger. Her mother is NOT receiving any medical treatment there . . . nor is she even in the U.S. (--Tiger hopped a flight with his kids after the Masters Tournament. We don't know where they went, but they did NOT hook up with Elin.) --The word is that Elin was upset that Tiger made his return to golf so soon, instead of trying to repair their relationship. That made her realize that he's not serious about changing his ways. --She's also upset over Tiger's Nike ad . . . which she considers, quote, "cheesy." A so-called "source", says, quote, "She is over Tiger. I wouldn't be surprised if she files for divorce sometime soon." --Meanwhile, TMZ says that Elin is fixing up a $2 million home she bought in Sweden last year . . . and she's hoping to move in sometime this summer.


TIGER WOODS HAS ENTERED THE U.S. OPEN:

After finishing the Masters tied for fourth, TIGER WOODS said he was going to take some time off to reassess things. Apparently, he didn't need too much time. --Tiger sent his application in Monday to join the U.S. Open . . . which goes down June 17th through the 20th at Pebble Beach.


CHARLIE SHEEN WORE A FAKE MUSTACHE AND GLASSES TO A WOMAN'S HOUSE . . . BUT HE'S NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR:

CHARLIE SHEEN was photographed wearing a fake mustache, dark glasses and a hoodie and smoking a cigarette . . . while walking into a woman's home. --It all sounds pretty suspicious . . . and "Us Weekly" says it's exactly what you think it is. --They claim Charlie is cheating on his wife BROOKE with a woman named Angelina Tracy . . . who's a lingerie model and a HIGH-PRICED ESCORT on the side. --But Charlie's rep has a different explanation. He says that Charlie was doing some ADDICTION COUNSELING . . . and he threw the disguise together just to mess with the paparazzi. --He says, quote, "The woman in question is the sister of one of Sheen's campmates, and Sheen was only responding to a 12th-step call. --"Since Sheen knew he was being followed and how this would look, he wore the mustache in a tongue-in-cheek disguise gesture."


PRODUCTION OF STEVEN SEAGAL'S REALITY SHOW HAS BEEN SUSPENDED:

Production of STEVEN SEAGAL'S A&E reality show, "Steven Seagal: Lawman", has been suspended indefinitely, while the sexual harassment lawsuit against him plays out. --The show follows Seagal as he works as a reserve deputy for the sheriff's department of Jefferson Parish, Louisiana. --But now that Seagal is facing that lawsuit from former employee Kayden Nguyen, the department has decided it would be too much of a distraction to allow filming to continue. --Meanwhile, Seagal's attorney says the alleged victim's claims are, quote, "a complete fabrication without a scintilla of truth." He claims she was fired for ILLEGAL DRUG USE. --Sheriff Newell Normand says his department won't investigate Nguyen's claims unless she files a criminal complaint . . . which she hasn't done. --But if they do end up on the case, he says Seagal won't get any special treatment.


THE MOST INFLUENTIAL GAY MEN AND WOMEN IN AMERICA:

"Out" magazine has released its fourth annual POWER 50 . . . which is a list of the Most Influential Gay Men and Women in America. --ELLEN DEGENERES came in at #1, exchanging positions with politician BARNEY FRANK, who beat out Ellen to top the list last year. --Not everyone on the Power 50 is a celebrity . . . and some aren't even technically "out" yet . . . but here are a few notable entries on the list:
#3.) ANDERSON COOPER#4.) RACHEL MADDOW#5.) ADAM LAMBERT#7.) NEIL PATRICK HARRIS#26.) PEREZ HILTON#36.) WANDA SYKES#41.) JODIE FOSTER#47.) TIM GUNN . . . of "Project Runway". (--You can look through the whole list at Out.com, here . . .) http://out.com/power50/index.asp?pagenumber=1 COURTNEY LOVE DOES *NOT* WANT ROBERT PATTINSON TO PLAY KURT COBAIN . . . SHE'D RATHER HAVE RYAN GOSLING:
COURTNEY LOVE is denying British tabloid reports that she wants ROBERT PATTINSON to play her late husband, KURT COBAIN, in an upcoming movie called "All Apologies". --She'd much rather have RYAN GOSLING . . . or JAMES MCAVOY. --As for Pattinson, she says, quote, "Isn't that so stupid, who would cast him? That's just wrong, no offense [to him]. --"I watched the 'Twilight' stuff very, very recently and I get it, it resonates with the teenaged girl in me, I understand epic love of that nature; I write about it all the time. But isn't that silly?"


JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND CAMERON DIAZ DRY-HUMP IN "BAD TEACHER":

Everybody's making a big deal out of the fact that exes JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and CAMERON DIAZ have a sex scene in the upcoming comedy "Bad Teacher". --Well, according to a script obtained by the "Star" tabloid, Justin and Cameron's big scene has them comically DRY-HUMPING in a hotel room . . . with their clothes on. --And after it's over, Cameron tells him, quote, "Maybe next time we could dry hump without our clothes on." (???) (--So this is what JESSICA BIEL is supposedly so upset about. Can you blame her, though???) (--Sure, it's acting. But dry-humping an ex . . . that's shaky territory, no?)


"JON AND KATE PLUS EIGHT" DIDN'T VIOLATE ANY CHILD LABOR LAWS . . . BUT IT MAY HAVE RUINED CHRISTMAS FOR THE KIDS:

The Pennsylvania Department of Labor and Industry has determined that "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" did NOT violate any of the state's child labor laws . . . at least the existing ones. But some things will be changing. --In the future, producers must obtain child-labor permits to film the GOSSELIN children, and the kids will have to be paid a salary, which will be kept in a trust fund. --The Department of Labor's report was released as part of an ongoing series of hearings regarding the state's child labor laws. In one of the hearings, two members of KATE GOSSELIN'S family testified that reality TV has been BAD for the children. --For example, Kate's VERY estranged brother KEVIN KREIDER told legislators that the show has robbed the kids of THE JOY OF CHRISTMAS. -He said, quote, "The children were told it was Christmas morning. It was so the camera crew could get the genuine reaction of the children. It wasn't until after, until later, that they were told it was not Christmas morning, they just did it for the show. --"Can you imagine how confused eight little kids were that morning?"(--Here's video of his comments . . .) http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=75f675ed-9d8c-45c8-9b11-03a04559bdd6--Kreider also said that the kids' rooms would be filled with production equipment, and that the crew would sometimes film the kids without a parent present. (--Specifically, he mentioned that they filmed the kids' potty training sessions without supervision . . . however, he is NOT alleging that anything inappropriate happened. His point was that it was irresponsible of Jon and Kate to allow it.) --Kreider's wife Jodi . . . who appeared on the show as Aunt Jodi . . . testified that she believed children should NEVER be on reality TV, under any circumstance. --Yesterday, JON GOSSELIN responded on Twitter . . . saying, quote, "Kate and I were doing what was best for our family. And it gave us an opportunity to spend quality family time together. --"The allegations made by Kevin and Jodi Kreider have not been my experience at all during the production of 'Jon and Kate Plus 8'."


NADYA SULEMAN HAS LINED UP MORE TV APPEARANCES:

If you can't stand watching the insanity that is NADYA SULEMAN . . . a.k.a. THE OCTOMOM . . . here are two more TV shows that you'll need to avoid. --First, Nadya will be featured on Tuesday's "The Oprah Winfrey Show". (--There will undoubtedly be some craziness, because Oprah's camera crew visited Nadya's home to get a first-hand look at the hell-on-Earth she's created.) --Then on Wednesday, Nadya will be making some sort of "brief cameo" in a skit on the "Idol Gives Back" charity special. There aren't any further details on that. (--Two of the five charities benefiting from this year's "Idol Gives Back" directly aid children. With all due respect to the needs of those kids . . . they should at least take comfort in knowing that they're LESS DOOMED than Nadya's kids.)


"GLEE" RETURNED FROM ITS HIATUS TO A RECORD AUDIENCE:

On Tuesday, Fox's "Glee" returned from a four-month hiatus. And not only did its audience return . . . but it grew to a record high. --An estimated 13.7 million people tuned in, which is almost DOUBLE the average of the first 13 episodes, which was 7.3 million viewers. (--Before this, the highest-rated episode was the series premiere, which attracted 9.6 million viewers.)


"SOUTH PARK" IS GOING TO BROADWAY:

The GENIUSES behind "South Park", TREY PARKER and MATT STONE, have written a musical called "The Book of Mormon", which will debut on Broadway in March of next year. (--There aren't any specific of details yet.) --While we don't know what the tone of the musical will be, "South Park" ripped on Mormonism several years ago, in a hilarious episode titled "All About Mormons". (--You can watch it, here . . .) http://www.southparkstudios.com/guide/712/


JUSTIN BIEBER IS BACK ON TOP OF THE CHARTS!!!

It really is JUSTIN BIEBER'S world. You and I just live in it. "My World 2.0" is back at the top of the charts this week, after moving another 102,000 copies. --Only two new albums cracked the Top 10. SLASH'S self-titled disc debuted at #3 with 60,000 copies . . . and MADONNA'S live album from her "Sticky and Sweet Tour" is at #10 with 28,000 copies. Here are this week's Top 10 albums . . .
1.) "My World 2.0", Justin Bieber (102,000 copies)2.) "Raymond vs. Raymond", Usher (92,000 copies)3.) (NEW) "Slash", Slash (60,000 copies)


OZZY OSBOURNE HELPS THE HOMELESS:

Rumor has it that OZZY OSBOURNE helped out a homeless man in Los Angeles recently. According to the "Star" tabloid, the man asked Ozzy if he had any spare change . . . but Ozzy didn't. --So instead, he gave the man a gold crucifix that was around his neck . . . and told the man to, quote, "pray with it." --"Star" claims the crucifix was worth $3,000, which means that the guy MAY have prayed with it once . . . before selling it to a pawnshop for $100.


TONI BRAXTON HAS RELEASED A SEXY-ASS VIDEO:

Yesterday, TONI BRAXTON'S new "Hands Tied" video premiered on People.com. Toni is 42 years old now . . . but the video includes a pretty SEXY strip tease. --And Toni says things got even NAUGHTIER during the filming . . . quote, "My left boobie kept falling out. It wanted to make a cameo!" (--Here's the video . . .) http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20360914,00.html


EMINEM HAS A *BIG* ANNOUNCEMENT: HE'S CHANGED THE TITLE OF HIS UPCOMING ALBUM!!! (???)

Two weeks ago, EMINEM announced that he had some, quote, "big news" coming. --Well, yesterday that big news came: Eminem is changing the name of his new album . . . from "Relapse 2" to "Recovery". Yep, that's it. But Eminem is trying to make it sound a lot more dramatic than it is. --Instead of just saying he was changing the name of the disc, Eminem first announced that he was scrapping "Relapse 2" . . . then later announced that he would be releasing "Recovery" instead. --In an article on his website, he says, quote, "As I kept recording and working with new producers, the idea of a sequel to 'Relapse' started to make less and less sense to me, and I wanted to make a completely new album. --"The music on 'Recovery' came out very different from 'Relapse', and I think it deserves its own title." --"Recovery" will be out June 22nd. (--So really, after all that, all he really did was change the name of the album he was working on. Drama queen.)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

HERE'S A LIST OF FREE STUFF YOU CAN GET FOR TAX DAY:

Your taxes are due today. In honor of getting royally screwed by The Man, a bunch of restaurants and retailers are offering freebies to make your day a little less painful. Check it out:
#1.) At CINNABON, you can get two free bite-sized cupcakes from 6:00 P.M. to 8:00 P.M. today. It's part of their "Tax Day Bites!" promotion. Get it? Bite-sized cupcakes because "tax day bites"?
#2.) MAGGIE MOO'S is offering one free slice of ice cream pizza at all participating locations from 3:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M.
#3.) At STARBUCKS, you can get a free cup of coffee all day today, as long as you bring your own mug. (???)
#4.) HYDRO-MASSAGE is offering free massages today through Sunday. They're those people you see giving massages in the middle of the mall.
#5.) P.F. CHANG'S is offering 15% off all meals today. That doesn't include alcohol purchases, or happy hour food and beverages.
#6.) And BOSTON MARKET is offering one free meal with the purchase of another meal today through Sunday. (Yahoo News)(--You can link to the Boston Market coupon here . . .)http://bostonmarket.fbmta.com/members/ViewMailing.aspx?MailingID=34359744918&StoreCode

WHEN TIMES GET TOUGH, WOMEN START WEARING HIGHER HEELS:

Elizabeth Semmelhack is the author of a book called "Heights of Fashion: A History of the Elevated Shoe". In it, she points out that during economic recessions, women tend to wear HIGHER HEELS. --According to Elizabeth, it happened during the Great Depression, during the oil crisis of the 1970s and after the dot-com bubble burst in 2000. And she says the same thing is happening right now. --Or as Elizabeth puts it, quote, "We have entered a moment of heightened impracticality in footwear." --So you know, it's not entirely clear why recessions seem to cause women to wear higher heels. But Elizabeth thinks it's due to, quote, "a greater need for escapism." (???) (Yahoo Shine) (--You can buy Elizabeth's book for about $20 here . . .)http://www.amazon.com/Heights-Fashion-History-Elevated-Shoe/dp/1934772941


WOMEN DON'T GO FOR PUSHOVERS (LIKE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW):

Guys . . . it should come as no surprise that women don't go for pushovers. But that doesn't mean you have to be a complete jerk just to get a little action. It just means you have to focus a little more on yourself . . . and a little less on her. --Here are some tips to help you do just that, according to a bunch of relationship coaches CNN interviewed for a recent article:
#1.) Stay away from the polished, predictable image. Even if you aren't a traditional "nice guy," the appearance of being one is enough to turn off most women.
#2.) Stop being so available and flexible. Women want what they can't have. If you're always hanging out waiting for her to notice you, she never will.
#3.) Leave a little mystery. Even though most women say they don't want to play games and chase after you, they really do.
#4.) Stop wasting money on expensive dates. A girl's not going to fall for you just because you take her on a fancy date. And on the off chance that she actually does, it sets a bad precedent moving forward.
#5.) Stop catering to her needs first, and start doing what's best for YOU. Always.
#6.) It's more important to be "cool" than to be nice. Remember that.
#7.) Keep in mind that there are levels of "jerkiness." If you're just a little bit of a jerk, it's probably not a deal-breaker, because at least it shows you're not a pushover. (CNN)


HERE ARE 10 OF THE MANLIEST WORLD RECORDS OF ALL TIME:

Most world records are pretty lame. But not all world records are created equal. Some are MANLIER than others. And here are the 10 MANLIEST . . .

#1.) Heaviest Weight Dangled from a Swallowed Sword: Last year, a British guy named Thomas Blackthorne set a new world record by hanging more than 55 pounds from a sword he'd jammed down his throat. The old record was 44 pounds.(--Here's video of the old, 44-pound record . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjAeA3o5LWs

#2.) Heaviest Weight Lifted by the Tongue: Believe it or not, Thomas Blackthorne holds this one too. In 2004, he lifted 25 pounds using only a hook through his tongue.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nvf9x7CmhE

#3.) Heaviest Aircraft Pulled: Last year, a guy named Kevin Fast pulled a 188-ton transport airplane called the CC-177 Globemaster Three more than 28 feet. That's like pulling 40 African elephants.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xpuub2DBB8

#4.) Most Pushups in an Hour on the Back of the Hands: In 2007, a British guy named Paddy Doyle did 1,940 pushups on the back of his hands in just one hour. That's a rate of one pushup every two seconds. (--Here he is doing a measly 663 back-of-hand pushups in an hour . . . wearing a 40 pound back-pack.)http://community.guinnessworldrecords.com/_Most-back-of-hands-Push-Ups-in-1-Hour-carrying-a-40-lb-back-pack/VIDEO/211725/7691.html

#5.) Most Concrete Blocks Broken: Last year, a guy named Ali Bahcetepe smashed his way through 888 concrete blocks, using just his hands, in 60 seconds. (--Here he is breaking 565 concrete blocks in 43 seconds . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCNsKqx2qUo

#6.) Oldest Father: In 2007, a farmer from India named Nanu Ram Jogi became the world's oldest new father when his fourth wife gave birth to his 21st kid at the age of 90.

#7.) Heaviest Deadlift: This record belongs to a guy from Iceland named Benedikt Magnússon. He somehow managed to hoist 1,102 pounds.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17ptVrk4vo8

#8.) Most Live Rattlesnakes Held in the Mouth: In 2006, a guy named Jackie Bibby stuffed the tails of ten live rattlesnakes in his mouth, and held them there for a full ten seconds. (--Here he is in a sleeping bag with 150 of them.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v20C5fpHeNo

#9.) Most Burgers Eaten: This one belongs to competitive eater Joey Chestnut. In 2007, he wolfed down 103 Krystal burgers . . . which are like White Castle burgers . . . in just eight minutes. --As a side note, Joey also holds world records for eating 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in ten minutes, 45 pulled pork sandwiches in ten minutes, 68 Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs in ten minutes, and 241 chicken wings in ten minutes.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XS1-2Kxkeco

#10.) Heaviest Weight Lifted: In 1957, a guy named Paul Anderson back-lifted a ridiculous 6,270 pounds. That's like using your shoulders to lift two Honda Civics with a 200-pound man inside each of them.


A GUY WAS CHARGED WITH ASSAULT AND BATTERY FOR SMACKING SOMEONE IN THE FACE WITH HIS FOUR-FOOT PYTHON:

Now it's time to recognize our Meatball Criminal of the Day . . . 29-year-old Tony Smith of Rock Hill, South Carolina (--about 30 miles southwest of Charlotte). --On Monday, Tony was staying at a hotel in town when he got into an argument with another guest . . . an unidentified 47-year-old man. Apparently, Tony was rocking out in his room, and the guy next door asked him to turn down the music. --Anyway, the next night Tony was walking around the hotel showing off his pet snake . . . a 4-foot python . . . when he noticed the same guy standing on the balcony of a first-floor room. --So Tony walked up to him, and smacked him in the face with the python's head. Then he walked away. -Tony was arrested and charged with simple assault and battery. If he's convicted, he could get up to 30 days in jail. --The snake was released to a family member. (Charlotte Observer)


7,670 BABIES WERE BORN LAST YEAR TO "BIRTH TOURISTS" . . . WOMEN WHO CAME TO THE U.S. JUST SO THEIR KID WOULD HAVE CITIZENSHIP:

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, there were nearly 4.3 MILLION babies born in the U.S. last year. And 7,670 of them were born to women who don't live in the United States, and aren't citizens themselves. --Officials say it has to do with a shady new industry called "birth tourism." Here's the scam . . . --Federal law grants citizenship to ANYONE born on U.S. soil, even if neither parent is an American citizen. --That means if an Irish woman gives birth while on vacation at Disneyland, her kid is automatically a U.S. citizen. And if a Mexican woman sneaks across the border and gives birth in El Paso, her child is entitled to all the rights of U.S. citizenship. --Now, pregnant women have started coming to the U.S. for the SOLE PURPOSE of giving birth to an American citizen. --The idea is that if you live somewhere less desirable, you can pop out an "anchor baby," who can then sponsor the rest of your family for citizenship later in life. But here's the real kicker . . . --Birth tourism ISN'T illegal . . . at least not officially. In fact, there are even businesses that cater specifically to birth tourists. --For example, a Turkish-owned hotel in New York called the Marmara Manhattan offers "birth tourism" packages to expectant mothers who want to give their baby all the advantages of U.S. citizenship. And they're just one of many. --In all fairness, federal officials say they can . . . and do . . . turn away pregnant women who are obviously coming to the U.S. just to scam citizenship for their baby. --Still, between 2000 and 2006, the total number of U.S. births increased by 5%, while the number of U.S. births to non-resident mothers increased by 53%. --The U.S. is one of the last countries in the world that still grants citizenship to all children born on its soil. (ABC News)



THE FEWER TEETH YOU HAVE, THE MORE LIKELY YOU ARE TO DIE OF HEART DISEASE:

The next time you skip brushing your teeth before bed, I want you to think about this . . . --A new study in Sweden has found that the fewer teeth you have, the more likely you are to DIE of heart disease. --A guy named Anders Holmlund led the study. He says, quote, "Cardiovascular disease and, in particular, coronary heart disease is closely related to the number of teeth. --"A person with fewer than ten of their own teeth has a seven times higher risk for death by coronary heart disease than a person of the same age, and of the same sex, with more than 25 teeth left." --According to Anders, it's because people with poor oral health are more likely to have poor health in general, which increases their chance of developing heart disease. (My Fox - Los Angeles)



NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A GUY DID A CRAZY IMPRESSION OF A SNARLING DOG:An Australian show called "A Current Affair" . . . no relation to the American one with Maury Povich . . . interviewed a guy about his neighbor's barking dogs, and he launched an over-the-top "snarling dog" impression right next to his wife's head. --Naturally, it became a YouTube phenomenon. (--Search for "Vicious dog man a viral hit.")http://video.au.msn.com/watch/video/vicious-dog-man-a-viral-hit/xodhwoe

#2.) THE CEO OF SPIRIT AIRLINES STUFFED HIMSELF IN AN OVERHEAD BIN TO JUSTIFY CHARGING $30 FOR CARRY-ON LUGGAGE:You probably heard about how Spirit Airlines is going to charge $30 to $45 to put your luggage in the overhead bin. So the CEO posted a message on YouTube to explain the policy . . . and he delivered the message while lying in an overhead bin.(--Search for "Spirit Airlines' CEO carry-on crisis.")http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omYDG-YuSxI

#3.) A LAUNDRY-FOLDING ROBOT TAKES 25 MINUTES TO FOLD ONE TOWEL:Researchers created a robot that can fold any piece of laundry, even if it's never seen it before. But it currently takes 25 minutes to do one towel. (--Search for "autonomously folding towels robot.") http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gy5g33S0Gzo

#4.) HERE'S A SOUTHERN GUY DOING LIGHTNING FAST "HAMBONE":"Hambone" is a style of dance and percussion that involves stomping, and slapping your knees, thighs, and chest. It's also called "Juba dance," and it started with slaves on Southern plantations. --Here's a white Southern dude who's REALLY good at it . . . and also GARY BUSEY trying his best. (--Search for "crazy country hambone skills" and "Busey hambone.")http://www.break.com/index/crazy-country-hambone-skills.htmlhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMxfRrrNUOU


FOUR DATING MISTAKES GUYS MAKE:

When it comes to dating, a lot of guys shoot themselves in the foot. Then they wonder why they didn't get any, or why they can't meet someone cool. So here are four things that will make any woman think twice about you . . .

#1.) HAVING A GROSS LIVING SPACE. It doesn't have to be spotless, but if a girl's coming over this weekend, clean up the crumbs in the sofa, do the dishes, and get your dirty laundry off the floor. --Having a dirty living space makes it look like you don't take good care of yourself. But it ALSO shows that you don't care enough about HER to clean up a little.

#2.) BABY TALK IN BED. It's endearing with puppies and babies. But most WOMEN don't find it cute. They find it strange, especially if it's in the bedroom.

#3.) EXPECTING HER TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. She's not your mom. And women are more attracted to men who can take care of themselves.

#4.) SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME TOGETHER. In the first six months of a relationship, your serotonin and dopamine levels are a lot higher, which makes you feel good. --The problem is when being around her makes you feel SO good, you want to be around her all the time. And it's easy for one or both of you to get burned out. Most guys don't like needy girls. But remember, girls don't like needy GUYS either. (Yahoo.com)

APRIL 14, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

KIRSTIE ALLEY IS HAPPY THAT HER 17-YEAR-OLD SON IS ENGAGED:

KIRSTIE ALLEY'S 17-year-old son True . . . (--Yes, that's his name) . . . is engaged. And Kirstie is cool with it. --On "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" yesterday, she said, quote, "I feel good because they're really in love. True's very . . . he's got a level head. He's a good guy. He's very monogamous, and he's very sweet with her." --She added, quote, "I was married at just 19 years old, and that didn't work. Then I was married when I was 30 years old, and that's when everyone said you should get married, and that didn't work. So, I don't think I'm an expert on the subject."


PARIS HILTON AND HER BOYFRIEND DID NOT BREAK UP:

There was a rumor going around that PARIS HILTON had dumped her boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt. It's not true. --Paris had this to say about it on Twitter . . . quote, "That story is a ridiculous lie. 100% FALSE." (--There you have it. You may now return to your own, less important, life.)


MATTHEW FOX LOST HIS VIRGINITY AT THE AGE OF 12:

On the first seasons of "Lost", MATTHEW FOX was determined to find out what was "in the hatch". But in real life, he'd already answered that question for himself a long time ago. --If you think I'm setting up a lame, sexual double entendre, then you're absolutely right. (???) Matthew tells the new issue of "Playboy" that he was 12 when he lost his virginity. --He says, quote, "[She] was about two years older than me. It wasn't her first time. I can actually see the event in my mind's eye, like photographs. --"It happened literally on the ground by a river while a rodeo was going on in town. It was absolutely terrible and awkward . . . just two (effing) kids lying down and pulling our pants down." --Matthew also denies those tabloid reports that he cheated on his wife with a stripper. He says, quote, "The story is not true, and I am not going to comment on it. The subject of fidelity is very personal." --He goes on to call his wife Margherita . . . whom he's been married to for 19 years . . . the love of his life.


DID MERILEE GERTH GET $725,000 OUT OF JESSE JAMES . . . THANKS TO A DNA-STAINED SHIRT???

We heard yesterday that Merilee Gerth settled a sexual harassment complaint against Jesse James out of court. Well, several websites now say that Jesse paid Merilee $725,000. --And the reason he decided to part with so much cash is because she had a serious smoking gun in her evidence file: A shirt with Jesse's DNA on it.


TIGER WOODS' COLLEGE BUDDIES USED TO CALL HIM "URKEL":

TIGER WOODS had a humiliating nickname at Stanford University. His college buddies used to call him URKEL. That's according to Tiger's "E! True Hollywood Story", which airs TONIGHT at 10:00 P.M. Eastern. --Tiger didn't like it, by the way. He thought it was derogatory, and possibly even RACIST. (--Here's a preview clip from the episode . . .)http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/tiger-woods-was-nicknamed-urkel-in-college-2010134


THE WOMAN ACCUSING STEVEN SEAGAL OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT ONCE BRAGGED TO TYRA BANKS ABOUT BEING ABLE TO TRICK MEN INTO GIVING HER WHATEVER SHE WANTS:

The woman accusing STEVEN SEAGAL of sexual harassment may not be the wide-eyed, innocent victim she tried to portray herself as. --Last year, Kayden Nguyen appeared on "The Tyra Banks Show", where she proudly proclaimed herself a LIPSTICK LESBIAN . . . and said, quote, "I can use my sex appeal to get any girl that I want and trick any guy to getting what I want."(--Here's video . . .)http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=3df23d3f-f0c3-4c9a-83be-733efc832ca4--Kayden is suing Seagal for a minimum of $1 million . . . claiming that she took a job as his personal assistant, only to find out that what he really wanted was a SEX SERVANT. --Meanwhile . . . the sheriff's department of Jefferson Parish, Louisiana will hold a press conference today to discuss the case. --Seagal works as a reserve deputy there for his reality show, "Steven Seagal: Lawman". It's also the location of Seagal's home . . . where the alleged harassment took place.


ANDY DICK WANDERED INTO SOMEONE'S HOME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT LAST WEEK:

ANDY DICK added another bizarre incident to his resume last week . . . when he wandered into some random family's house in Los Angeles in the middle of the night. (--It's not clear what night this happened.) --A female resident of the home called 911, and the audio hit the Internet yesterday. It's pretty funny, if you can ignore, for a moment, how tragically close Andy probably is to DEATH. --The woman tells the 911 operator, quote, "I have an intruder in my house. He walked right into my house, but I don't think he's going to hurt us. My husband took him outside." --In describing his condition, the woman says, quote, "He's definitely under the influence of something. I'm very scared, please send the cops over. He's absolutely loony, he's absolutely wasted. He said something about he thought his son was here. He's really off his rocker." --Asked to describe Andy himself, the woman says, quote, "He's white, he looks well-to-do. He looks like a rich white man. Now my son is following him because he's going over to someone else's house to do the same thing."(--Here's the audio of the 911 call . . .)http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_audio/041210_andy_dick_911_v2.mp3
-Police showed up and took Andy back to his own home. They didn't arrest him or charge him with anything. --Just a few days later, on Friday night, Andy was kicked out of a place called the South Coast Winery Resort & Spa in Temecula, California. Why??? Because he, quote, "showed signs of intoxication." (--Showing "signs of intoxication" is uncool at a winery???)


LINDSAY LOHAN SAYS DR. DREW IS A QUACK:

VH1 addiction "expert" DR. DREW PINSKY has been diagnosing LINDSAY LOHAN from afar for months now, and she's had enough. -Lindsay told some website called GossipCop.com, quote, "He's a quack and a sell-out . . . Please tell him to stop!" --Most recently, Drew said, quote, "If she were my daughter, I would pack her car full with illegal substances, send her on her way, call the police, and make sure she was arrested. --"I would make sure she was not allowed to get out of jail. I would then go to the judge and make sure she was ordered to a minimum of a three year sobriety program."


POLICE ARE LOOKING FOR RANDY QUAID AND HIS WIFE AGAIN:

Do you realize that RANDY QUAID and his wife EVI still haven't settled that legal issue over the $10,000 hotel bill they allegedly skipped out on last year??? --They were due in court in Santa Barbara on Monday . . . but once again, they no-showed. So yesterday, a warrant was issued for their arrest. --According to RadarOnline.com, their lawyer was seen on his phone at the courthouse, PLEADING with the Quaids to show up. Obviously, it didn't happen. --The Quaids did end up paying that bill . . . but they're still facing misdemeanor charges of burglary, defrauding an innkeeper and conspiracy.


DID COLUMBUS SHORT BREAK A MAN'S JAW DURING A PICKUP BASKETBALL GAME???

COLUMBUS SHORT . . . (--whose credits include "Stomp the Yard", "Cadillac Records" and the upcoming "Death at a Funeral") . . . is accused of breaking another man's jaw during a pickup basketball game. --Jason Hill claims that Short beat him down so badly on February 24th that he needed two surgeries to fix his jaw. --And he claims Short and some buddies approached him at his North Hollywood apartment complex earlier this month and threatened to drop him again.--Hill was granted a restraining order against Short on Monday.--Short's attorney doesn't deny there were fisticuffs . . . but he claims that Hill started the fight.--As for Short showing up at Hill's apartment complex . . . the attorney says that was just a coincidence. He claims Short and his crew were there to visit friends, and never even saw Hill.


SARAH PALIN HAS MADE AT LEAST $12 MILLION SINCE JULY:

Still wondering why SARAH PALIN quit as governor of Alaska??? Here's your answer: Since stepping down at the end of last July, she's made AT LEAST $12 MILLION. --That's about 100 times her governor's salary . . . and it might be a low estimate. --The money comes from a combination of TV and book deals, plus speaking engagements that pay her up to SIX FIGURES.


KATHY GRIFFIN WILL GET A PAP SMEAR . . . ON TV:

Televised colonoscopies are out. Televised PAP SMEARS are in. That's what KATHY GRIFFIN thinks anyway. She's getting one done this Friday for her TV show, "My Life on the D-List". --Kathy's doing it to encourage other women to get checked regularly. And she's doing it with STYLE. --The SMEAR will take place POOLSIDE . . . and Kathy is having her down-there area VAJAZZLED for the occasion. (--There's no word when the episode will air.)


SAY GOODBYE TO BIG BEN'S BEEF JERKY:

BEN ROETHLISBERGER'S idiocy has officially robbed the world of Big Ben's Beef Jerky. (!!!) --Yes, Ben had his own brand of beef jerky. But PLB Sports . . . the company that made it . . . is pulling the plug. Production has been halted, and all existing product is being DESTROYED. --PLB President Ty Ballou says the company is exercising a MORALITY CLAUSE in Ben's contract. He adds, quote, "I hope he can learn from this." (--By the way . . . PLB is the company that made FLUTIE FLAKES cereal . . . which was named after quarterback DOUG FLUTIE.) --Meanwhile, Ben met with NFL President Roger Goodell yesterday. Even though police let him off the hook, the league might still level some sort of punishment against him. --Ben called the meeting, quote, "very productive" . . . but there's been no indication so far if Goodell is taking any action.


CHACE CRAWFORD HAS BACKED OUT OF THE "FOOTLOOSE" REMAKE:

The "Footloose" remake is back on the shelf, after CHACE CRAWFORD unexpectedly backed out yesterday. --No reason was given, but so-called "sources" say he couldn't make it work with his "Gossip Girl" shooting schedule. --Crawford was replacing ZAC EFRON . . . who bowed out to concentrate on more serious roles. --"Entertainment Weekly" says the studio is now expected to cast an unknown, and may launch a nationwide search for their new star. --"Dancing With the Stars" JULIANNE HOUGH is still lined up to play the female lead.


SIGOURNEY WEAVER SAYS JAMES CAMERON DIDN'T WIN THE BEST DIRECTOR OSCAR BECAUSE "HE DIDN'T HAVE BREASTS":

SIGOURNEY WEAVER sounds bitter that "Avatar" didn't do better at the Oscars. And she's blaming the Academy for pumping up "Hurt Locker" director KATHRYN BIGELOW because she's a woman. --Sigourney says, quote, "[JAMES CAMERON] didn't have breasts, and I think that was the reason [he didn't win Best Director]. He should have taken home that Oscar." --She's also ticked that "Avatar" didn't win Best Picture. She says, quote, "In the past, 'Avatar' would have won because [Oscar voters] loved to hand out awards to big productions, like 'Ben-Hur'. --"Today it's fashionable to give the Oscar to a small movie that nobody saw."


SETH MACFARLANE WILL DIRECT A MOVIE ABOUT A MAN AND HIS TEDDY BEAR:

"Family Guy" creator SETH MACFARLANE will direct an R-rated comedy called "Ted". It's about a man and his relationship with his teddy bear. The bear will be computer-animated, and MacFarlane will provide the voice.

CHECK OUT THE TRAILER FOR "HUMAN CENTIPEDE" . . . A MOVIE SOME PEOPLE ARE CALLING THE GROSSEST FILM OF ALL TIME:

Gross horror movies have been making a comeback for the past decade or so, but they may have just reached their absolute peak. --There's a movie kicking around film festivals right now called "Human Centipede" . . . and some people are calling it THE GROSSEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME. --It's about a demented doctor who takes three people and surgically transforms them into the ABOMINATION of the film's title. --How does he connect them? Well, that's a major part of what makes this movie so gross. Let's just say that they're hooked up in such a way that their three alimentary canals have become one. (???)(--"Human Centipede" is going to be released in New York City only on April 30th. Check out a trailer here . . .)(--WARNING!!! There is some disturbing imagery in the following clips . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hLAfSbFkvY
(--Oh, and if you're still not sure how these people are connected, this video clip helps clear it up . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9_vpjYiROU


CONAN O'BRIEN'S LIVE COMEDY TOUR KICKED OFF ON MONDAY NIGHT . . . AND IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S PRETTY AWESOME:

CONAN O'BRIEN'S "Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour" kicked off in Eugene, Oregon . . . of all places . . . on Monday night. (--Just hours after he announced that he'd be launching a new show on TBS beginning in November.) --And it sounds pretty awesome. Here are a few things people are talking about: --Conan did poke some fun at his . . . uh, dismissal . . . from "The Tonight Show", but NBC would be relieved to know that he did it in his typical self-deprecating style. (--As opposed to giving them the RIPPING they deserve.) --He joked, quote, "This is the first time anyone has ever paid to see me perform. But people have paid to make me go away." --And then he explained the, quote, "eight stages of grief [you go through] after losing your talk show" . . . which included, quote, "denial, blame myself, blame everyone else around me, anger, paranoia, 36 hours of Red Bull and Halo . . . ". . . buy everything Amazon says I would also like (I bought a Team Edward thong), and get your ass to Eugene, Oregon!" --It doesn't sound like he talked much about his new TBS gig . . . but he did joke, quote, "I'm sure some of you heard I got a new job. Starting tomorrow, I'm the new manager of the Eugene Banana Republic." --As far as guests, his sidekick, ANDY RICHTER was there . . . as well as his band, which was without superstar drummer MAX WEINBERG. (--There was a rumor that Max had switched allegiances and wanted to replace the departing KEVIN EUBANKS on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno". But that position has already been filled by "American Idol's" band leader. Check out Page 5 of TV Quick Hits for more info.) --"30 Rock" star JACK MCBRAYER and the band SPOON were there as special guests . . . along with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and the Masturbating Bear, who, for supposed legal reasons, has been renamed the Self-Pleasuring Panda. (--That was probably a joke.) --The show also included pre-taped bits, and music performances . . . including Conan's new versions of "On the Road Again" and "I Will Survive". (--Here's a fan-shot clip of Conan singing his "I Will Survive" . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-rc8kjzS8M --The tour, which will stretch into June, continues tonight in Vancouver.


SERIOUSLY, EVERYBODY: GEORGE LOPEZ IS TOTALLY COOL WITH BEING BUMPED FOR CONAN O'BRIEN:

GEORGE LOPEZ was on "Larry King Live" last night, and used that opportunity to reiterate that he is MORE THAN COOL with moving his show to make room for CONAN O'BRIEN at TBS. --He said, quote, "What [Conan] was concerned with was that he wasn't going to do to me what was done to him at NBC. That was his biggest concern. --"[But] I'm not getting 'Lenoed.' I welcome Conan. I think moving to midnight . . . hey, going to work an hour later, it's a dream come true, and the pay's the same." --He also joked, quote, "I believe this combination . . . a same-sex DESI ARNAZ and LUCILLE BALL, if you will . . . will take late night into a new generation and change the landscape. And, Larry, I'm a Latino, I know something about landscape. --"It's going to be fantastic come November."(--You can watch a clip of George on "Larry King Live", here . . .)http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/04/video-george-lopez-says-im-not-getting-lenoed


THE LADIES OF "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" DO *NOT* HAVE NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN'S BACK:

The ladies of "Desperate Housewives" . . . TERI HATCHER, EVA LONGORIA, FELICITY HUFFMAN and MARCIA CROSS . . . have released a joint statement in support of the show's creator, MARC CHERRY. --Last week, NICOLETTE SHERIDAN filed a $20 million lawsuit against Cherry . . . accusing him of assault and battery, gender violence and wrongful termination. She also characterized him as an abusive and hostile person to work with. --Well, the Housewives who still have their jobs DO NOT have her back. Their statement reads, quote, "It would be irresponsible of us to let the public believe that being a part of this show from its inception has been anything but a blessing. --"We have no first-hand knowledge of what Nicollette may or may not have experienced, but we would never characterize our set as a hostile environment. It is, in fact, the opposite. --"The friendships and support that Marc Cherry, the cast, the crew and the producers have shared for the past six years have made this a wonderful job that we are grateful for every day." (--So, the "Desperate Housewives" set can be described both as a happy, pleasant utopia . . . and a horrifyingly lawless place, with rampant hostility, assault and abuse. Sounds a little like Oakland.)


"THE TONIGHT SHOW" HAS NAMED KEVIN EUBANKS' SUCCESSOR:

NBC has confirmed a TMZ report that "American Idol's" musical director, Rickey Minor, has been chosen to replace KEVIN EUBANKS as the leader of "The Tonight Show" band. (--You can find out more about him on his website, here . . .) http://rickeyminor.com/--Since Kevin won't be leaving for another six weeks, Rickey will finish out "Idol's" current season. His "Tonight Show" debut will come on June 7th. (--Kevin says he's leaving permanently to do something new. But if he ever wants his gig back, I'm sure NBC could find a way to keep them both. Maybe they could just ask this Rickey guy to move to the second half hour.) (???)


A PREVIEW OF TONIGHT'S 200TH EPISODE OF "SOUTH PARK":

"South Park's" 200th episode airs TONIGHT, and they're loading it with stars. Well, not REAL stars . . . but "South Park's" versions of the stars. --In tonight's episode, the show faces a class-action lawsuit from "every celebrity 'South Park' has mocked." (--Here's a brief preview clip . . . which includes an appearance by MECHA-STREISAND!!! . . .) http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/267115


"DANCING WITH THE STARS" BEAT "AMERICAN IDOL" IN THE RATINGS FOR A SECOND STRAIGHT WEEK:

The NCAA Championship game between the Butler Bulldogs and Duke Blue Devils was last week's most watched show. Nearly 24 million people watched Duke narrowly win their fourth national title, with a final score of 61-59. --"Dancing with the Stars" came in at #2, after beating "American Idol" for a second week in a row.


CHRISTINA AGUILERA OR LADY GAGA? AKON'S VOTE IS IN:

Apparently, America is on the cusp of being divided yet again . . . this time, by an awesomeness debate between CHRISTINA AGUILERA and LADY GAGA. --AKON already has his vote in. And since he signed Lady Gaga to his record label in 2008, it isn't surprising that he didn't choose Christina. --He tells "Vibe", quote, "Aw man, that's not even any competition. You are actually giving Christina too much credit. She always had her cool little look and way about how she went about things. But soon as Gaga came out everything switched up. --"Christina stepped out of her own shell to become something different. And the crazy thing is Christina is really talented. She has unlimited range when it comes to singing. Her voice is out of here. -"I just think she just needs to believe in herself more. --"I think sometimes she gets insecure because of all of the success Gaga has had, not realizing that she was already successful before Gaga came out." --He goes on to say, quote, "Christina shouldn't have anything to prove or anyone to compete with. I miss the old Christina Aguilera. I like the old one better than the new one. --"Honestly, Gaga and Christina could probably get together and do something that's amazing. But that's impossible if they are both trying to do the same exact thing musically."


VIDEO OF TRAVIS BARKER TEACHING RIHANNA TO PLAY DRUMS:

In preparation for her upcoming tour, RIHANNA is taking drum lessons from TRAVIS BARKER. She posted video of it on her site . . . and it sounds like Travis was impressed. (--WARNING: There's an S-word at the 1:21 mark.)http://www.rihannanow.com/news/2010/04/ri-gets-a-drum-lesson-from-travis-barker/


VIDEO OF JUSTIN BIEBER BREAK-DANCING AT AGE EIGHT:

If you'd like to see an eight-year-old JUSTIN BIEBER showing off an ARSENAL of break-dance moves, you're in luck. (--You can find the video, here . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pVHiaD_HV8

NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF


THERE'S A NEW ANTI-RAPE DEVICE WITH RAZOR-SHARP BARBS THAT CLAMP ONTO A RAPIST'S DONG:

In general, I'm against all products whose sole purpose is to THRASH a man's genitals. But I'm making an exception for this little stroke of genius . . . --It's called the Rape-aXe, and it's an ANTI-RAPE device that has rows of razor-sharp barbs, which clamp onto a rapist's junk. Or think of it like this . . . basically, the Rape-aXe is a flexible latex sheath. It's kind of like a condom only thicker, and it fits inside a woman's most intimate of areas like a tampon. --The idea is that when a man goes to rape a woman, the barbs will hook onto his junk. And even when he pulls out, the Rape-aXe will stay attached to his genitals. --It's extremely painful, it makes it impossible to take a leak, and in order to remove the Rape-aXe without tearing up their junk, rapists will have to go to the hospital . . . where they'll then be ID'd as a sex offender and arrested.--A woman named Sonnet Ehlers invented the Rape-aXe after working with rape victims in South Africa. --She says the Rape-aXe isn't available to the public yet. But she's going to pass out 30,000 of the devices for free before this summer's World Cup in South Africa. After that, they'll go on sale for less than $2 apiece. (Global Post)


YOU CAN BUY A PURSE THAT HOLDS AN ENTIRE BOX OF WINE:

The only thing classier than drinking wine out of a box is drinking wine out of a box that you've got hidden in your purse. (???) --Enter the Baggy Wine Coat . . . a purse that's specially designed to hold an entire box of wine. --According to the product website, quote, "Simply take the wine bag out of the box, place it in the Baggy Wine Coat and close the flexible top . . . If you want to carry your wine with you, just grab the handle and go!" --And the Baggy Wine Coat even has a side dispenser for easy pouring, and a rubber bottom to prevent it from tipping over. Like I said . . . it's high-class all the way. (???) (Yum Sugar)(--You can buy the Baggy Wine Coat for $73.50 here . . .)http://www.scandinaviandesigncenter.com/Products/eur1/Trademark/Menu/10736/Baggy


ARE THERE MORE PIZZA SHOPS, GUN SHOPS, OR STRIP CLUBS IN YOUR AREA?

I just discovered a blog site called FloatingSheep.org. Its operators analyze user-generated Google Maps placemark references, and use the data to create color-coded maps comparing all sorts of interesting stuff. --For example, the blog's newest map compares which parts of the U.S. have more pizza shops, gun shops and strip clubs. It's loads of fun. (???) (Consumerist)(--You can link to the map here . . .)https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivFtw9HpU7vnpjsJnpEcmDMund_ki4hVR5_ZU0U3Wt06nKYUyom8Gs1nRKG6mPx2O3STeUc0_U1Llo8CZ_-Ix2zGs3bvDtEF2ErtitgGAZh51wokEndCul3uPt8oKOVTLonrMpTEbEAxI/s1600-h/us_guns_pizza_strip_100122.jpg


A NUDIST GROUP WANTS YOU TO SAVE MONEY BY TAKING A "NAKATION":

If you're trying to plan your next vacation, a group called the American Association for Nude Recreation wants you to think about taking a "nakation" instead. That's a vacation at a nudist resort. --According to the AANR, "nakations" are better than regular vacations for at least two reasons:#1.) Some people can never figure out what to bring on vacation. But if they don't have to pack clothes, they don't have to stress about it.#2.) And not packing clothes means you don't have to check luggage, which can save you lots of money . . . like several hundred dollars. --Oh, and did I mention you'll be surrounded by NAKED PEOPLE, at least some of whom are bound to be attractive? --A woman named Carolyn Hawkins handles public relations for the AANR. She says, quote, "You have all walks of life here. The good thing about it is that you don't know the banker from the bus driver if they're not wearing their clothes." (ABC News) (--Warning: There's some nudity at this link.)http://www.aanr.com/


A PRO-LIFE PHARMACY IN VIRGINIA WENT OUT OF BUSINESS BECAUSE IT REFUSED TO SELL "IMMORAL" PRODUCTS LIKE CONDOMS AND MAKEUP:

Less than two years ago, a self-proclaimed "pro-life" pharmacy called the Divine Mercy Care Pharmacy opened its doors in Chantilly, Virginia (--about 30 miles west of Washington, D.C.). --The idea was to ONLY sell products that were in no way morally questionable. That means no birth control pills, no condoms, no pornography, no tobacco and even no makeup. --Now, maybe you're wondering how well a pharmacy could do if its owners refused to sell any those products. --Well, here's your answer: Not very well. --We know this because the Divine Mercy Care Pharmacy was forced to shut down recently. --According to its owner . . . a guy named John Bruchalski . . . the pharmacy's biggest problem was its, quote, "convenience factor." (--My only question is, if the pharmacy didn't sell cigarettes, pornography, makeup, condoms or birth control pills, what DID it sell?) (Washington Post)


GETTING BOTOX INJECTIONS MAKES IT HARDER TO MAKE FRIENDS:

Presumably, people get Botox injections in order to look and feel better about themselves . . . and to improve their social lives. -But now, a new study from the University of Wisconsin has found that using Botox can make your social life worse. Here's how . . . --Botox is derived from botulinum, a nerve toxin that paralyzes the muscles in a person's face. It helps smooth wrinkles, but it also makes it more difficult to express a normal range of emotions. --Since Botox users can't really smile, frown, look angry, sad, or show empathy, other people have a harder time picking up on their facial cues . . . and that makes it tougher to connect with them. --A guy named David Havas led the study. He says, quote, "Blocking facial expression diminishes the experience of emotion. --"Our faces are normally alive with activity, which contributes to our understanding of each other, and there is a strong link between our facial expression and our ability to comprehend the meaning of language. --"If people seem slow in reacting to what they are being told, it is likely to be interpreted as a lack of sympathy or interest." --In other words, getting Botox injections can make it more difficult to make new friends, and can cause serious problems with the ones you already have. (My Fox - Los Angeles)


NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) SHAQ WORE A WIG AND LIP-SYNCHED TO A RICK JAMES SONG:SHAQUILLE O'NEAL posted two videos online. One shows him wearing a wig and lip-synching to the Rick James song "Fire and Desire". --In the other one, he pours water over his head and pretends to cry while lip-synching to the Aaliyah song "At Your Best". (--Search for "Shaquille O'Neal Rick James Fire and Desire" and "Shaquille O'Neal Aaliyah At Your Best." The Rick James video starts getting good at :55.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGzlo0P8WgI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myo9IabMtUA

#2.) COPS BEAT A MARYLAND COLLEGE STUDENT FOR NO REASON:After the Maryland basketball team beat Duke on March 3rd, Maryland students took to the streets to celebrate. And three cops in riot gear beat a kid for no reason. (--Search for "Maryland cop beating." The beating starts at :28.)http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2010/04/12/ST2010041204523.html?sid=ST2010041204523

#3.) A HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL PLAYER GOT HIS FOOT STUCK IN THE NET DURING A SLAM DUNK CONTEST:A high school basketball player tried to show off during a slam-dunk contest by hanging on the rim then kicking his legs up through the basket. But his foot got stuck in the net, and they had to use a ladder to get him down. (--Search for "high school foot stuck rim slam dunk contest.") http://www.fandome.com/video/117787/High-School-Basketball-Player-Gets-His-Foot-Stuck-on-Rim-During-Dunk-Contest/

#4.) HERE'S THE TAIWANESE WHITNEY HOUSTON KID DANCING LIKE AN IDIOT:The chunky Taiwanese kid who sang "I Will Always Love You" has another video on YouTube where he shows off some hilarious dance moves. (--Search for "Lin Yu Chun dance fail.")(--Here's the dancing video, and the Whitney Houston video.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T30yw77EvHohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA-tOsM6F4Y


FOUR THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FAST FOOD:

White Castle opened in 1921 and became the world's first fast food chain. But the phrase "fast food" didn't make it into the dictionary until 1951. Here are four more interesting facts about fast food . . .

#1.) MCDONALD'S MAKES *WAY* MORE MONEY THAN ANY OTHER FAST FOOD CHAIN. There are actually more Subway restaurants worldwide than McDonalds locations, but McDonald's makes a lot more money. They employ 400,000 people in 126 countries, and they're America's largest buyer of beef, pork, and potatoes. --According to the most recent statistics, McDonald's makes about $23 BILLION in profits a year. Taco Bell, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Pizza Hut make less than HALF that COMBINED. And Burger King only makes around $2.5 billion a year.

#2.) FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS MAKE MOST OF THEIR MONEY FROM SOFT DRINKS AND FRENCH FRIES. The markup on fries is around 500%. The markup on soft drinks is about 1,200%. -And as a side note, you'll be happy to know this: Studies have found that 50% of fountain drink dispensers are contaminated with FECAL MATTER.

#3.) THE MEAT IN A FAST FOOD HAMBURGER COMES FROM MULTIPLE COWS. In fact, one burger can have bits of meat from HUNDREDS of cows.

#4.) OTHER COUNTRIES LOVE FAST FOOD TOO. 35% of Americans eat fast food at least once a week. That sounds high when you compare it to Sweden, where only 3% of people do. But in India it's 37%. And in Hong Kong it's 61%. (OnlineSchools)

April 13, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

THE SANDRA BULLOCK SEX SCANDAL

MICHELLE "BOMBSHELL" MCGEE HAS APOLOGIZED TO SANDRA BULLOCK: (NE)
Guys who cheat on their wives are SCUM, pure and simple. But women who knowingly sleep with married men aren't much better. --Yet very few of the SKANKS who have admitted to sleeping with famous married men in the last several months have shown any regret, or even apologized to the women they've wronged. --But that changes NOW. MICHELLE "BOMBSHELL" MCGEE is apologizing to SANDRA BULLOCK for bumping tattooed uglies with her husband, JESSE JAMES. --In an interview with an Australian TV channel, Michelle said, quote, "I know what she's going through. She must be hurt, devastated, upset, embarrassed. --"I want to give her a heartfelt apology. I'm sorry for her embarrassment and her pain . . . I do feel really bad about it. --"Sandra, you know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your embarrassment, I'm sorry all this is public. It is a heartfelt apology. I'm sorry for what she is going through." --But Michelle would like you to know that Jesse victimized her, too. She said, quote, "I feel like he lied to me as much as he lied to her. I wouldn't have been with him if he was just honest in the beginning." --Michelle DID know Jesse and Sandra were married . . . but she's sticking to her story that Jesse told her they were separated. --Michelle also said that a lot of the claims made about her aren't true . . . quote, "The biggest misconception is that I'm a Nazi, I'm a racist, white supremacist, which is absolutely not true. --"I've been called a home wrecker, a slut, a whore. I'm very surprised by that, that more people aren't taking my side. I don't want anybody's pity . . . but, you know, Jesse is the bad guy here." --She also said, once again, that she totally regrets doing that photo shoot where she's wearing Nazi clothing . . . and added that she and Jesse did NOT share a Nazi fetish together. --She said the fact that there's an old photo of Jesse wearing a Nazi officer's hat, too is, quote, "just a coincidence."


FEWER THAN 40% OF AMERICANS HAVE A FAVORABLE VIEW OF TIGER WOODS:

According to a new CNN poll, fewer than 40% of Americans have a favorable view of TIGER WOODS. --That's a HUGE drop. Before his sex scandal, Tiger's favorable rating was consistently over 80%. --Meanwhile . . . Tiger and his wife, ELIN NORDEGREN, are reportedly in separate parts of the country, following Tiger's fourth-place finish at the Masters Tournament. --Elin left for Scottsdale, Arizona by herself on Sunday night. The word is that her mom is having some kind of medical treatment there. --Tiger took off from Orlando with the kids yesterday. --There's no word where they were headed, but so-called "sources" say they won't be hooking up with Elin. --Tiger reportedly asked Elin to take a vacation with him after the Masters . . . and she refused.


DID MARIO LOPEZ MAKE HIS GIRLFRIEND GET PLASTIC SURGERY??? (NE)

Ladies, we know you love MARIO LOPEZ. But you have to admit that aside from his looks, he's SLIME. --Remember back in 2004, when he married ALI LANDRY? Well, she had the marriage annulled just SIX WEEKS LATER . . . after she found out he had cheated on her during his bachelor party. --Yeah, that's the kind of guy we're talking about. --But it gets worse. There's a report going around that Mario is so obsessed with looks that he made his girlfriend, Courtney Mazza, work out with a personal trainer AND get plastic surgery. --Mario met Courtney when they were both doing "A Chorus Line" on Broadway in 2008. And right away, he started nudging her to upgrade her looks. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "He encouraged her to work out with a trainer every day. She underwent a boob job and liposuction last spring. Once her body was perfect, he arranged for them to be photographed on a beach." (--At least some of that lipo has gone to waste, because Courtney is WITH FETUS, and due to deliver in September.) SHOWBIZ SEX - 2 of 4


ELIZABETH TAYLOR IS *NOT* GETTING MARRIED: (NE)

ELIZABETH TAYLOR has officially denied that she'll be making The Big Mistake for the ninth time. --On Twitter yesterday, she said, quote, "The rumors regarding my engagement simply aren't true. Jason Winters is my manager and dearest friend. I love him with all my heart."


DID COREY HAIM'S MOM TRY TO RIP OFF THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE HER $20,000 FOR HIS FUNERAL??? (NE)

Remember when the owner of the website Startifacts.com cut COREY HAIM'S mother Judy a $20,000 check to cover his funeral??? --Well, Judy never used it for Corey's funeral . . . and now the guy who wrote it has CANCELED IT. --Startifacts owner Michael Kronick says that a week after Corey was buried, the check still hadn't been cashed. So he checked into things and found out the funeral had already been paid for. --He says, quote, "I called the funeral home. The facts are, from day one the funeral was taken care of. Corey's funeral was paid for and it was before Judy went on the news asking for money from people." --Kronick claims that all donations that have been . . . and still are . . . coming in from the public are earmarked for Judy's breast cancer treatment. So he stopped payment on the check. --A rep for Judy says this is NOT true. He says Corey's service was paid for out of the funeral home's donations fund . . . and all the money the Haim family receives from the public is going to be used to reimburse that fund.


THE "NATIONAL ENQUIRER" DID NOT GET A PULITZER PRIZE: (NE)

The "National Enquirer" didn't get its Pulitzer Prize. It was up for the award in two categories . . . investigative reporting and national news reporting . . . for its coverage of the JOHN EDWARDS sex scandal. (--But hey, they WERE a Pulitzer Prize candidate for a few months there . . . and nobody can take that away from them.)


PAMELA ANDERSON OWES ALMOST HALF A MILLION DOLLARS IN BACK TAXES: (NE)

PAMELA ANDERSON owes the IRS about $493,000 in back taxes. A tax lien was filed against her last April . . . and her name showed up yesterday on a list of delinquent tax payers in California.


MILEY CYRUS DOES NOT HAVE A NEW TWITTER ACCOUNT: (NE)

Just so you know, MILEY CYRUS is NOT back on Twitter. --There are several Twitter accounts using Miley's name . . . like @mileycyrus and @MileyCyrusNet. And some of them have tens of thousands of followers. --But Miley's rep confirms that none of the accounts are hers, because SHE DOESN'T HAVE ONE ANYMORE.


EDDIE CARROLL . . . THE SECOND VOICE OF JIMINY CRICKET . . . HAS DIED:

Here's some Disney trivia for you: EDDIE CARROLL holds the record for voicing the same Disney character longer than anyone else. --Eddie was the voice of Jiminy Crickett since 1973. Unfortunately, the reason this came up is because Eddie DIED last week of a brain tumor. He was 76. (--Eddie obviously wasn't the first Jiminy Crickett. He was the second. An actor named Cliff Edwards originated the role in "Pinocchio" in 1940. He provided the voice until 1970, and he died in 1971.)


BEN ROETHLISBERGER WILL NOT BE CHARGED WITH SEXUAL ASSAULT: (NE)

Police in Milledgeville, Georgia have decided NOT to charge Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback BEN ROETHLISBERGER with sexual assault. --Roethlisberger had been accused of assaulting a woman in the bathroom of a Milledgeville club called Capital City. But yesterday, prosecutor Fred Bright said he was dropping the case. --Bright said both Roethlisberger and his accuser were highly intoxicated when they entered the club's bathroom on March 5th. He added that there were still, quote, "significant questions about what occurred." --Bright said the woman went to a local hospital for treatment . . . where she told doctors, quote, "A boy kinda raped me." But they weren't able to say for sure if her injuries were the result of a sexual assault. --One of the main reasons Bright dropped the case is because the accuser wanted him to. --Her attorney sent a letter to Bright's office a few weeks ago saying she didn't want to go through a criminal trial because it would be, quote, "a very intrusive personal experience." --But that doesn't mean she changed her story. She still claims Ben assaulted her. --The letter said, quote, "This decision does not reflect any recanting of our client's complaint, but simply a realistic, personal decision as to what is in her best interests."


BEN ROETHLISBERGER HAS APOLOGIZED . . . BUT NOT TO HIS ALLEGED VICTIM: (NE)

BEN ROETHLISBERGER issued a formal apology yesterday to the NFL and its fans, the Pittsburgh Steelers and his family. But NOT to his alleged victim. (--Obviously. Because doing so could be perceived as an admission of guilt.) --He said, quote, "I'd like to begin by expressing gratitude for the thorough investigation process in Georgia and the prosecutor's decision not to bring charges. --"I know without a doubt that it was the right conclusion. I don't intend to discuss any details related to the events in Georgia, and I'm happy to put this behind me and move forward." --"I'm truly sorry for the disappointment and negative attention I've brought to my family, my teammates, coaches, the Rooneys, and the NFL. (--The Rooneys are the family that owns the Steelers.) --"I understand that the opportunities I've been blessed with are a privilege and that much is expected of me as the quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers. --"I absolutely want to be the leader this team deserves, valued in the community and a role model to kids. I have much work to do to earn this trust and I'm committed to improving and showing everyone my true values. --"I am excited to get back to work with my teammates and more determined than ever to have a great season. I intend to make my family, friends and the Steeler Nation proud on all fronts."(--Here's video . . .)http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=1fb2ddd8-9896-4543-b7a5-565d03289ce4


NEXT YEAR'S RAZZIES WILL BE TELEVISED: (NE)

Next year's Razzies . . . a.k.a. The Golden Raspberry Awards . . . will be televised. The show got major press this year, thanks to SANDRA BULLOCK'S decision to show up in person to collect her Worst Actress award. (--And that was even before the whole JESSE JAMES thing blew up.) --There's no word yet what channel the Razzies will end up on. The ceremony is scheduled to take place on February 26th.


WILL JENNIFER LOPEZ AND JENNIFER GARNER PLAY "LOVE RIVALS"??? (NE)

There's probably no chance this will ever happen, but JENNIFER LOPEZ and JENNIFER GARNER are supposedly both in line to play, quote, "bitter love rivals" in some untitled romantic comedy. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "Neither has been ruled out of the project yet, so something may happen." (--The reason this is even remotely interesting is because J-Lo was engaged to BEN AFFLECK . . . who is now married to and procreating with Jennifer Garner. It certainly would be interesting if this were to happen. But it's doubtful that it will.)


CONAN O'BRIEN WILL RESUME HIS LATE-NIGHT CAREER . . . ON TBS: (JD)

In news that's being described with words like "surprising," "shocking" and similar open-mouthed adjectives, CONAN O'BRIEN has announced plans to resume his late-night comedy career on . . . TBS. --There aren't many details yet, but here’s what we know: --Yesterday, Conan posted a Twitter message . . . saying, quote, "The good news: I will be doing a show on TBS starting in November! The bad news: I'll be playing Rudy on the all new 'Cosby Show'." --He later added, quote, "In three months I've gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I'm headed to basic cable. My plan is working perfectly." --It's not a joke. (--The TBS part, that is. The "Cosby Show" line was, of course.) --His new show . . . which is still untitled . . . will run from 11:00 P.M. to midnight, Monday through Thursday. It will take the place of GEORGE LOPEZ'S talk show, "Lopez Tonight", which will be bumped to midnight. (--TBS will continue to air movies on Friday nights.) --Obviously, this situation brings up a lot of parallels to the NBC Late-Night Mess . . . when Conan refused to bump "The Tonight Show" back to midnight to make room for JAY LENO'S return to late-night. --But Conan isn't Leno-ing George. --Conan's manager, Gavin Polone, said, quote, "That sounded very similar to [what happened at NBC]. Conan said, 'We're not putting ourselves in the position of shoving somebody out of his show.'" --TBS boss Steve Koonin made his initial pitch to Conan less than two weeks ago . . . but ONLY after getting George's blessing first. --Then, George called Conan personally to invite him on board. Polone said, quote, "It really was George who made this happen." At that point, negotiations reportedly progressed very quickly. --To make sure there's no doubt about how he feels, George released the following statement yesterday . . . quote, "I can't think of anything better than doing my show with Conan as my lead-in. It's the beginning of a new era in late-night comedy." --There's no specific debut date yet, aside from it happening sometime in November.


WHY DIDN'T CONAN'S ANTICIPATED MOVE TO FOX PAN OUT? (JD)

CONAN O'BRIEN'S deal with TBS was particularly surprising because it seemed inevitable that he'd end up at Fox. -There isn't any official word on why that didn't work out . . . but here's the UNOFFICIAL word, from various sources. --The consensus seems to be that there was just too much red tape in the Fox negotiations . . . involving their local affiliates, who were making good money airing syndicated sitcoms at 11:00 P.M. --Some affiliates were stalling talks because they were unsure if they wanted to take the risk, while others had existing contracts with syndication, which would prevent them from airing Conan's show . . . at least at 11:00 P.M. . . . for several YEARS. --Those affiliates could've faced lawsuits if they breached those deals. MTV News reports that only 60% of Fox's channels would be able to air a Conan show this fall. And that couldn't have been too appealing to Conan's people. --While NBC may have dodged a bullet with Conan moving to basic cable, TBS could be his best landing spot. On TBS, GEORGE LOPEZ is drawing a diverse audience with a median age of 33, which is MUCH younger than the other late-night shows. --Here's the breakdown of the median age for several major late night talk shows, according to the "New York Times":
--"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" . . . 56 (--That's up 10 years from the eight months when Conan hosted the show.)--"Nightline" . . . 55--"The Late Show with David Letterman" . . . 54--"The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" . . . 52--"Jimmy Kimmel Live!" . . . 52--"Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" . . . 50--"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" . . . 40--"The Colbert Report" . . . 37--"Lopez Tonight" . . . 33


IS GEORGE LOPEZ *REALLY* COOL WITH CONAN O'BRIEN? (JD)

GEORGE LOPEZ seems ridiculously cool with the CONAN O'BRIEN situation. --He agreed to move his show back to make room for Conan . . . he called him personally to help recruit him to TBS . . . he deemed himself a member of "Team Lo-Co" on Twitter . . . and he said he, quote, "can't think of anything better than doing my show with Conan as my lead-in." --But is he REALLY cool with all this? -In a radio interview back in December George seemed to have BEEF with Conan. --He said, quote, "Now, I'm gonna tell you something that I have never told anybody else, other than the people on my staff, 'cause I have known you for a long time. --"When I was doing talk shows, and I was doing 'Kimmel' and I did 'Jay Leno', and I did 'Conan', when I was in New York. Conan's producer told my publicist that I wasn't right for that audience. --"So when the show became popular in syndication, my goal was to get my own talk show and to beat Conan O'Brien. So, I think I'm pretty close to it. --"That inspires me that someone were to say to me that you aren't right for our audience. But if you look at the country, you are completely eliminating people of color when you make that statement." (--There isn't any other context for those quotes . . . and things between George and Conan could have changed since then, especially now that they're on the same "team".)(--But it definitely sounds like there was an issue there.)


THE FIRST PROMO FOR CONAN ON TBS: (JD)

TBS has ALREADY released the first promo for CONAN O'BRIEN'S pending arrival at the network. It isn't really much of anything . . . just some jazzy music and a "Coco is with TBS" graphic. (--If you're care, you can check it out, here . . .)http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/04/12/tbs-conan-promos/


KEVIN EUBANKS HAS FORMALLY ANNOUNCED THAT HE'S LEAVING "THE TONIGHT SHOW": (JD)

In an announcement that isn't suspiciously timed at all . . . (???) . . . KEVIN EUBANKS was given some special time with JAY LENO on "The Tonight Show" last night, to formally announce what we'd heard earlier this year . . . --That he would be leaving Jay's side . . . and moving on to other unspecified things. --While sitting in the guest chair next to Jay, he explained, quote, "After 18 years, I just need a change of pace and see what else is going on. --"But it's a really difficult decision because this has become my second home, as it has been for the band, and I love the audience and the American people really love the show, and it's been a wonderful experience to be here." --He also joked, quote, "After 18 years of playing America into commercials, I'm gonna go somewhere where I can finish a song." --He will remain on the show for six more weeks. TMZ says his final day will be on May 28th. (--Here's the video of Kevin's announcement . . .)http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/kevin-eubanks/1218344/


MTV IS DEVELOPING A "JERSEY SHORE" SPIN-OFF: (JD)

MTV is developing a "Jersey Shore" spin-off called "Wicked Summer", which will take place in Boston. As far as we know, it won't feature any "Jersey Shore" cast members. --A casting director for the show says, quote, "We're giving Massachusetts the chance to show the world why Bay Staters have got the hottest girls and proudly buff guys who believe in God, family, politics, sports, beer and partying!" --Production on the first season will begin in July. No premiere date has been set.


ANOTHER NEW "LAW & ORDER" IS APPARENTLY ON ITS WAY: (JD)

Deadline.com claims NBC has signed off on "Law & Order: Los Angeles" . . . or "LOLA", as the Internet is calling it (???) . . . and that it'll be on NBC's fall schedule. There hasn't been an official announcement yet. --Assuming this is true, it'll be the second time NBC has tried a fourth "Law & Order" series. The last time came in 2005, when they aired that "Law & Order: Trial by Jury" show. It only lasted 13 episodes before being canceled.


NEW ON VIDEO TODAY

--"Pirate Radio" - A comedy about Britain's attempts to shut down a group of DJs who refuse to stop playing rock and roll in the '60s. So the DJs become pirates . . . literally . . . and broadcast their rebellious music from a ship just outside of British waters.
--Philip Seymour Hoffman is their leader, and Bill Nighy, who was Davy Jones in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies, is the ship's captain. "Shawn of the Dead's" Nick Frost is also in it.
--"Defendor" - Woody Harrelson plays a costumed "superhero" on a mission to take down the city's drug lord. Kat Dennings from "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" is a hooker he saves, and Sandra Oh from "Grey's Anatomy" is the shrink he shares his exploits with.
--"The Slammin' Salmon" - a comedy starring Michael Clarke Duncan as a restaurant owner who convinces his waiters to compete to see who can sell the most food in one night, in order to get him out of trouble with the mob.
--"Tenure" - a romantic comedy starring Luke Wilson as a college professor fighting to earn his tenure after a sexy new female faculty member arrives. She's played by Gretchen Mol.
TV SERIES ON DVD:--"Dallas: The Complete Thirteenth Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set. (--It ran for fourteen seasons.)--"Alias Smith and Jones: Seasons 2 & 3" . . . a six-disc DVD set.--"Emergency!: Season Six" . . . a five-disc DVD set. (--It ran for seven seasons.)

NEW MUSIC OUT TODAY
--"Jason Castro", Jason Castro (--The dude with the dreadlocks from the seventh season of "American Idol". This is his debut album.)
--The soundtrack to the Jennifer Lopez movie "The Back-Up Plan" . . . with music by . . . Colbie Caillat, India.Arie, Jennifer Lopez, VV Brown and Moby.)


JUSTIN BIEBER BELIEVES THE RAP COMMUNITY HAS EMBRACED HIM BECAUSE HE ISN'T CORNY: (JD)

For some reason, the hip-hop community has latched onto 16-year-old JUSTIN BIEBER . . . as if he's the second coming of JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE or something. (--And who knows, he might be. But he's also 16. And he looks like he's 12.) --When asked about this weird phenomenon, Justin told MTV News, quote, "I like hop-hop a lot. I'm really glad they've taken a liking to me --"Having [LUDACRIS] [on my song 'Baby'] and having LIL WAYNE shout me out on UStream and, like, you know . . . it's cool.--"I think it's because I didn't go through the Disney route. I didn't go corny, but, like, at the same time I've been cool and collected."--Of course, Justin Timberlake DID go the "corny," Disney route . . . but Justin still looks up to him. --He says, quote, "I look at people like USHER and Justin Timberlake and how they went from being a child star to growing up and doing what they're doing now. --"I look up and see what they do and see that's what I want to do . . . and things that I want to do that's different and things that I wanna do that's working for them."


BRET MICHAELS HAD AN APPENDECTOMY: (JD)

POISON singer BRET MICHAELS had an appendectomy early Monday morning, after being hospitalized with severe stomach pain. (--He was in Texas at the time.) --He'll have to postpone a few shows, but his rep says, quote, "[Bret] remains in the hospital, is doing well and [is] beginning the recovery progress."


THIS YEAR'S LILITH FAIR DATES HAVE BEEN UNVEILED: (JD)

The dates for this year's Lilith Fair . . . the first since 1999 . . . have been revealed. The tour will begin in Canada on June 27th, and hit 36 cities before wrapping in Dallas on August 16th. (--You can see all the dates, as well as the confirmed performers, here . . .)http://www.lilithfair.com/ (--By the way, RIHANNA will appear at ONE show. It'll be the July 12th show in Salt Lake City.)


NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

A MAN CAUGHT A 4-YEAR-OLD BOY WHO FELL 30 FEET FROM AN ESCALATOR:

Now it's time to recognize our JYY Hero of the Day . . . 21-year-old Antonio Jones of Santee, California (--about 20 miles northeast of San Diego). --Last Thursday, Antonio and his girlfriend, Nicole Morgan, were on their way home from Disneyland, when they decided to pull over for burgers at a place near the park called Islands. --After eating, Antonio stepped outside to have a cigarette, when he noticed a little boy . . . 4-year-old Jimmy Lavin . . . playing near the escalator. --At some point, Jimmy grabbed on to the outside of the escalator rail. And before he realized what was happening, he was pulled upward, with his body dangling over the side of the moving staircase. --A few seconds later, Jimmy hit the top wall and was knocked off the escalator. He smashed into a light fixture, and started to fall face-first toward the walkway 30 feet below. --But just before Jimmy face-planted into the concrete, Antonio raced over and caught him by the feet. (!!!) --Antonio says, quote, "We weren't going to eat until we got back to Santee, but my girlfriend wanted an Islands burger. I know God is using me. If Nicole hadn't gotten her burger, the boy wouldn't have had his life saved . . . I was there. If I can help, I'll help." --Jimmy was rushed to the hospital and treated for minor injuries, but he's expected to be okay. (San Diego Union-Tribune)


A WOMAN WAS RANDOMLY REUNITED WITH HER MOTHER AFTER SEARCHING FOR HER FOR 25 YEARS:

Meet 31-year-old Christine Goldmas of Philadelphia. 25 years ago, her mother, Lyvia Green, wanted to escape her abusive husband and take Christine with her. But in a weird legal twist, Lyvia was arrested, charged with kidnapping, and sentenced to prison. --And when she was, Christine's father moved the family and changed their last name. Christine says she searched for her mom over the years by looking online, cold-calling people with the same name, and asking family members for help. --But it always led to dead ends . . . until last Wednesday, when Lyvia walked through the door of the family assistance office where Christine works security. (!!!)--Christine says, quote, "I started getting butterflies and go, 'Oh my God, I think that's my mom.' Something tells me, 'Say something to her now, just don't let her walk out of the door without saying something to her.'" --So she walked up to the woman, asked her if her name was Lyvia Green, and the rest is history. --Now Christine's been reunited with her mother, and is meeting her other siblings for the first time. (NBC Philadelphia / WLVI News 7 - Boston)


DO YOU WANT A SUMMER JOB RUBBING SUNSCREEN ON HOT FRENCH WOMAN?

If you're looking for a summer job where you get to meet lots of interesting people . . . and then feel them up . . . I have just the thing for you. --This week, officials in a French resort town called Sables-d'Olonne announced they're conducting an online search to find two "creamers." Their job will be to rub sunscreen on hot French people at the beach.
--According to the job listing, applicants must:#1.) Be young and good-looking#2.) Have a sense of fun, and the ability to organize beach activities#3.) Have at least a little medical knowledge#4.) And be able to speak French
(--They're calling it "Le job de l'été." That's pronounced "Le job delay-tay" and it means the "job of the summer" in French. Sort of. Job isn't a French word..) --The job will run for six weeks, from July 10th through August 22nd. And it pays $1,150 a week, or about $6,900 overall. --The deadline to apply is May 26th. Applicants are required to submit a resume and a 45-second video explaining why they should get the job. (Independent) (--You can apply for the job, or check out the candidates so far and vote on them, at www.lejobdelete.com. The website's all in French, but since the ability to speak French is a job qualification, that shouldn't be a problem for you . . .)


CAN HANDLING MONEY REDUCE THE AMOUNT OF PAIN YOU FEEL?

We all know money can't buy happiness. But supposedly it can make you feel LESS PAIN. --According to a new study from the University of Minnesota, handling cash actually makes physical and emotional injuries less painful. --They did a series of experiments where people first counted either $8,000 in hundred-dollar bills, or just plain pieces of paper, and then did simple tests. --The people who counted the money reported feeling less physical pain when their hands were dipped into hot water, and less emotional pain when they were socially excluded. In other words, just TOUCHING the cash helped. --Kathleen Vohs is the "consumer psychologist" who led the study. She says, quote, "When people are reminded of money in a subtle manner by counting out hard currency, they experience painful situations as being not very painful. --"You could think about being able to charge yourself up before you encounter pain. When I used to run marathons, I would've maybe wanted to be reminded of money first." -And she says it doesn't matter if you don't actually HAVE the money. Because just touching cash . . . or, say, looking at a computer screensaver that shows a lot of money . . . could have the same pain-reducing effect. --For the record, it's not entirely clear why money reduces pain. And researchers say they don't even understand why people seem to experience pain and discomfort so differently. --But the theory is that handling money makes people feel stronger, and that works as a coping mechanism when they deal with whatever negative experiences come next. --Which might SOUND good. But on the flipside, focusing on money you DON'T have can make a physical or emotional injury even MORE painful. Or look at it this way . . . --Not only are rich people less concerned about getting evicted or keeping food on the table, it also hurts them less when they slam their finger in the door. How unfair is that? (Discovery News)


WANT TO BUY A DEVICE THAT COVERS UP THE SOUND OF YOUR BODILY FUNCTIONS IN THE BATHROOM?

I have a friend who turns on the sink whenever she uses the bathroom at someone else's house. It's because she's worried people will hear the sound of her bodily functions, and that's just too embarrassing for her to handle. --I thought she was just crazy. But apparently there are a lot of other women . . . and probably some men . . . who feel the same way. At least in Japan there are. --Last November, a company called Takara Tomy introduced a palm-sized audio device called the "Sound Princess." --It plays a loud noise similar to running water, and the idea is to mask the sounds you make on the toilet when you're in public or at someone else's house. --The Sound Princess sells for $14.99 in Japan. It runs on two AAA batteries, which is good for about six months of use. (CNET News / Weird Asia News)


HERE ARE TEN SECRETS YOU SHOULDN'T TELL YOUR PARTNER:

Honesty is important in any relationship. But that doesn't mean you should ALWAYS tell the truth. --With that in mind, here's a list of ten secrets you actually SHOULD keep from your partner, according to the relationship "experts" over at AOL Personals:
#1.) The sacrifices you've made: The best way to ruin a good, selfless deed is by pointing out how difficult or annoying it was for you.
#2.) The nice things they do wrong: Pointing out that your girl left the windows all streaky when she washed the car, or that your man folded your laundry wrong, will only make them less likely to do nice things in the future.
#3.) That you hate a gift: No matter how much a gift sucks, just pretend it's the thought that counts . . .
#4.) That you hate their friends or family: If you tell your girl you hate her family or friends, chances are YOU'LL be the one who gets replaced in her life . . . not them.
#5.) How often you get hit on: This one's great for the ego, bud bad for the relationship. So just keep it to yourself. Bragging about how much attention you get from the opposite sex will just make the other person jealous, and that's not cool.
#6.) How uncomfortable you are: If you give your girlfriend your jacket, don't whine about how cold you are afterward. And women always complain about their shoes hurting their feet. Just try not to ruin the moment by pointing out what's wrong with it.
#7.) The gritty details of past relationships: You'll probably go through a rundown of your exes at some point, but you can keep all the dirty, sordid details to yourself.
#8.) That you're bored: Relationships are all about compromise. That means doing all the boring stuff the other person likes to do without complaining about it. And hopefully they'll do the same when you drag them to something equally lame.
#9.) That you were right: This is a tough one. But no matter how much you want to say it, you have to resist the urge to utter these four words: "I told you so."
#10.) That you want to have sex: Stop thinking about it and make the first move already, loser. (???) (AOL Personals) (--There's an obvious omission here: Whether you should tell your partner that you CHEATED on them. One line of thinking is that you owe it to the person you care about to tell them, because they deserve to know what's up.) DID OBAMA BOW TO


THE PRESIDENT OF CHINA YESTERDAY?

Yesterday was the day of 'official arrivals' for PRESIDENT OBAMA's Nuclear Security Summit in Washington, D.C. --That means Obama greeted each leader as they arrived, for a photo opp. And when he greeted President Hu Jintao of China . . . the photograph shows him bowing his head. The video makes it look like more of a quick, low nod . . . but still.(--You can watch the video here . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bNoe0RTQYA--And actually, this isn't the first time Obama has bowed to President Jintao. Last November he was in Shanghai during a trip to China, and after a 'town hall' meeting, he bowed his head a couple times while President Jintao was speaking. --Then he did another deeper bow when they shook hands. (--You can see it at 1:01 mark below . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mx3IlHuF1KE
-And obviously Obama's taken heat for bowing to world leaders before. First it was the big bow to King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at the G-20 summit in London last April. Then it was Emperor Akihito of Japan during the trip to Asia in the fall. --And then there was the time this January when it looked like he bowed to the mayor of Tampa. (???) (Yahoo)


NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A YANKEES PITCHER BLAMED A BAD GAME ON DIARRHEA:
CHAN HO PARK is the South Korean relief pitcher for the Yankees, and he couldn't prevent their loss to the Red Sox in last Sunday's season-opener. But he did a lot better against them three days later. --When a reporter asked him about the bad game, he managed to say four times in one minute that it was because he had diarrhea. And his teammates couldn't stop laughing. (--Search for "Chan Ho Park diarrhea."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GIEHPGj9sI

#2.) A SKIER STRADDLED A TOW ROPE AND THE WEDGIE LIFTED HIM OFF THE GROUND:
Instead of just holding onto the tow rope that pulls people uphill, a clueless skier straddled it, and the resulting wedgie lifted him off the ground. (--Search for "skiing tow rope super wedgie." He gets lifted off the ground at :20.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-6pQwo_9r4

#3.) A DOG TRIED TO JUMP ON ITS OWN SHADOW:A dog saw its shadow on the floor and kept trying to pounce on it. (--Search for "dog battles with his own shadow.")(--WARNING: This video includes the F-word.)http://www.break.com/index/dog-battles-with-his-own-shadow.html


FOUR HISTORY MYTHS EVERYONE BELIEVES:

Like most Americans, everything I learned about history comes from movies and TV. In other words, most of what I think I know is complete garbage. Here are four history myths you probably believe too . . .

#1.) GUNFIGHTS IN THE OLD WEST. How many murders do you think Old West towns had per year? A hundred? More? In reality, the average was ONE AND A HALF. And the most murders ANY Old West town had in one year was FIVE. --Plus, the whole "quick draw" thing is nonsense. Handguns were so inaccurate back then, it didn't really matter who shot first. If you hit the other guy on the first shot, you were REALLY lucky.

#2.) STOCK BROKERS JUMPING OUT OF WINDOWS WHEN THE STOCK MARKET CRASHED. The stock market crashed in October of 1929. The rest of that year, there were four suicides related to the crash where people jumped off buildings. --Only two were on Wall Street, and only one of those was legit. It was some guy who lost a fortune when the stock market tanked. The other one was a 51-year-old woman who was just overworked. And she didn't jump out a window, she jumped from a roof.

#3.) FEMINISTS BURNING BRAS. As far as anyone can tell, this one never happened. Women protesting the 1968 Miss America pageant DID toss bras . . . among other things . . . into a trashcan. But no burning was involved. --It was around the same time when guys were burning their draft cards, and the working theory is, people just confused the two stories.

#4.) "WAR OF THE WORLDS". In 1938, Orson Welles reported over the radio that Martians were invading Earth. There's no doubt that SOME people believed it. At that point, a fake news broadcast had never been done before. --But it didn't cause a mass hysteria. There's a famous picture from "Life" magazine of a farmer holding a shotgun, ready to defend his land against the invading aliens. But even THAT photo wasn't real. The magazine STAGED it. (Cracked.com)